Titel: Just Plane Wrong (see comment about second draft in thread)
Text: Tragedy struck when a @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ Airways pilot deliberately crashed a commercial airplane into a mountain, killing @@HIM@@self and everyone on board. In the aftermath, a newspaper revealed that the pilot had been diagnosed with depression but neglected to disclose this to @@HIS@@ employer.
Validity: Invalid for nations that have banned airplanes
Opinion 1: "It's the doctor's fault," shouts @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, mother of one of the victims. "My little angel would still be alive if he had reported the pilot to his airline! Pilots should have to undergo mental checks before every flight and doctors should be required to report everyone who is deemed unstable to their arline!"
Effect: mood swings are a valid reason for flight cancellations
Opinion 2: "ARE YOU MAD?" screams @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a pilot infamous for his rants against passengers. "I shouldn't have my rights revoked like this just because one nutjob puts a bad name on us! Abolish all existing rules about mental evaluations for pilots and let us decide for ourselves whether we're fit enough to fly or not."
Effect: the insides of airplanes hear more prayers than churches
Opinion 3: "The pilots of this country simply don't get paid enough for their tireless efforts," says @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ Airlines Pilots Union President @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Hummel. "Reward their hard work by raising their wages, @@LEADER@@! Sure, it'll cost the airlines more, but you don't want a tragedy like this to happen again, right?"
Effect: parents take out mortgages on their homes to go on vacations with their children
Opinion 4: "MORE REGULATIONS?" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ O'Leary, CEO of low-budget airline RonnieAir. "We would have to increase the prices of tickets and we'd lose passengers! How about you stop putting even more burdens on us and give us a tax break instead to show that you support @@DEMONYMADEJCTIVE@@ airlines?"
Effect: flying has become a popular way of commuting