Scantily Clad Women? Not in my NFL

[Alvecia]

In the war for the soul of America, the evil secularists are slowly winning ground against the brave holy warriors of god. More recently they gained a major victory in the form of the 2020 Superbowl halftime show.

Enter Coach "Not a Coach" Dave Daubenmire a radio host and Christian activist.

Now for a football enthusiast such as our man Dave, the Superbowl is one of the biggest events of the year.
So imagine his shock when during the halftime show this good christian man found himself watching a decidedly unchristian display of pornographic, wanton female sexuality in the form of Jennifer Lopez and Shakira slutting it up on stage* in front of tens of millions of impressionable Americans.

*not my actual opinion, obviously

Turns out this shameful display must have given Dave some naughty, naughty thoughts. So he claims to plan on suing the NFL for damages done to his chances of Heavenly acceptance.

To the tune of $867 trillion dollars.

https://www.news.com.au/sport/sports-li ... 6d385a2819
https://nypost.com/2020/02/07/minister- ... time-show/

Now for those unaware (such as myself before reading this), the total Global GDP for 2019 is projected by the IMF to be around $86.60 trillion.
But what is material worth next to the worth of a saved soul, am I right?

So I ask you.
Did you find the halftime show to be overtly sinful?
What price would you put on your soul?
Why does America seem to have more prudes per capita than other Western nations?

Personally I'd sell my soul for some nice chocolate cake. I'm not really using it anyway.

[Ifreann]

Eight hundred and sixty seven

TRILLION

dollars.

That is a level of shenanigan for which my body was not prepared.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Fucker needs to get over himself.

[Dogmeat]

He doth protest too much, methinks.

[Side 3]

Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!

[Ifreann]

Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!

Joke's on you, I've already filed a lawsuit for the damage reading about his lawsuit has done to my soul.

[Tarchuna and Ravenna]

I admire his moneymaking genius.

[Ethel mermania]

I thought jesus forgiven those who legitimately repented their sins?

So even days later he can not repent his lustful desires for some serious Latina spice? I think that is more Dave's issue, it is up to him to reject the demons

[Agarntrop]

Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!

Jokes on you, I've filed a lawsuit for $876 quadrillion dollars for the damage to my oxygen supply he does by a) living and b) filing lawsuits.

[Chill beats LLC]

he wont be going to hell for lust - just greed

[Alvecia]

Similarly, it appears that the Christian advocacy group 1 Million Moms (Twitter count 4,751 Followers) are very upset about this shocking display, and have asked that people sign their petition.

Take action! And...err...what are we doing?

Oh yeah we're gonna:

let them [the NFL and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell] know how disgusted you are with Super Bowl LIV’s halftime show.

Powerful stuff

[Agarntrop]

Similarly, it appears that the Christian advocacy group 1 Million Moms (Twitter count 4,751 Followers) are very upset about this shocking display, and have asked that people sign their petition.

Take action! And...err...what are we doing?

Oh yeah we're gonna:

let them [the NFL and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell] know how disgusted you are with Super Bowl LIV’s halftime show.

Powerful stuff

that website needs to be renamed karens.com

[Side 3]

Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!

Joke's on you, I've already filed a lawsuit for the damage reading about his lawsuit has done to my soul.

Jokes on you, I've filed a lawsuit for $876 quadrillion dollars for the damage to my oxygen supply he does by a) living and b) filing lawsuits.

Psssh, nothin' personnel kid, but I've already filed my counter suit for infinity plus 1 dollars against all of you!

[Luna Amore]

I thought jesus forgiven those who legitimately repented their sins?

So even days later he can not repent his lustful desires for some serious Latina spice? I think that is more Dave's issue, it is up to him to reject the demons

What sort of loving god would want me to reject Shakira?

[Sycar]

I'm a Christian and I don't even think that the half time show was bad. That guy needs to grow a pair and get some thicker skin.

[Agarntrop]

Joke's on you, I've already filed a lawsuit for the damage reading about his lawsuit has done to my soul.

Jokes on you, I've filed a lawsuit for $876 quadrillion dollars for the damage to my oxygen supply he does by a) living and b) filing lawsuits.

Psssh, nothin' personnel kid, but I've already filed my counter suit for infinity plus 1 dollars against all of you!

You want to go down that route then boy? ive increased my demands to infinity cubed.

[Genivaria]

It's a sad reflection of the lack of maturity of many Americans that this is even a 'controversy'.
Women go out onto the football field every day and dance in far more revealing outfits, they're called cheerleaders.

[Nuroblav]

Doesn't Shakira have a pretty high IQ?

Also, $867 trillion? A shame if someone stole it

[Washington Resistance Army]

Hot take but half time shows haven't been good in years and you should always just go do something else until the game is back on. Controversy solved.

[Genivaria]

I think we can agree that this a distraction from the REAL NFL issue, the absurd salaries that players make.

[Cetacea]

So in the interest of fairness and all american justice has anyone got actual images of these offending Crotch shots so we can review them? (Don’t make me have to google them)

[Saiwania]

No one has the amount asked for and no court is going to award it. This will just cause it to be thrown out as frivolous, assuming it did have merit. Guess it doesn't pay off to be too greedy.

[Alvecia]

Hot take but half time shows haven't been good in years and you should always just go do something else until the game is back on. Controversy solved.

Or you can go full big brain and just not watch the Superbowl

[Ethel mermania]

I thought jesus forgiven those who legitimately repented their sins?

So even days later he can not repent his lustful desires for some serious Latina spice? I think that is more Dave's issue, it is up to him to reject the demons

What sort of loving god would want me to reject Shakira?

J-lo, sayth the lord, truly hasth abs of steel.

[Unstoppable Empire of Doom]

Going to hell for greed much?