ETV1 presents WorldVision 79 - English language commentary by Cerin Erali and Flynn Taggart
CE: Welcome to WorldVision 79! Bienvenido a WorldVision 79! Yalcom WorldVision 79!
FT: Live from Phoda, Talvezout. I'm announcing where we're live from just so Cerin doesn't make that joke.
CE: Which one? MotherPho-
FT: Yes, that joke.
CE: Anyway, he's Fleen Taggart -
FT: Flynn.
CE: Yes, Fleen. And I'm Cerin Erali and we are your English language commentators for this evening. For a Spanish commentary, Iyilim language commentary or to sing-along to each entry, please press the red button. Thank you. Para Español, Iyilim o karaoke, pulse botón rojo por favor. Gracias. Aspenol, Iyilim o cereoc - Ancelis o Aspenol, ne Iyilim - plaes toc rad boton. Fenci.
FT: Dial the number when they tell you too, text the number when they tell you, press the vote button on the app when they tell you to. If you vote before they tell you, it won't count. If you vote after the deadline, it won't count.
CE: And you people back home in Elejamie can't vote for song number nine, because that is Shireen. And she's our entrant. Anything else?
FT: No.
CE: Okilly-dokilly, let's get this rolling.
Opening Act
CE: Best. Opening. Act. Ever. Or probably of recent times. I can't decide.
FT: Both songs were good.
CE: Good? They were GREAT. All caps. The first opening act is just inescribable. But in the good way. Excellent tune, excellent staging, everyone cheering when their nations were mentioned in that monologue. What's not to love.
FT: And the second song?
CE: Great as well. Love the floating stage and I hope it gets more use tonight. Shame about the queen who lost her wig but hey, looks like someone's going home with a freebie!
FT: Unless security stops them.
CE: Unless security stops them, yes, but I don't know if that'll happen. Still, everyone's pumped up so let's get right on with the show!
01 - Nahlcomo
FT: This was just a trainwreck. Too niche, too hard to understand unless you've been keeping up with things. Just bad.
CE: At least the music's tolerable?
FT: At least that wasn't terrible.
CE: Hopefully the rest of the contest won't be like this.
02 - Scotatrova
Sadly withdrawn
03 - Amuaplye
CE: Truth be told, the vocals seem like they'll grate if you listen to it again and again and again and again. But I still like this song. I really do.
FT: I'd imagine the kids would like it.
04 - Saint Bernards
CE: This doesn't feel like a song about the beauty and the lushness and the friendliness of this tropical island nation paradise, it feels more like "If you come here, we will stab you. And it will hurt."
FT: So bad then?
CE: Not bad, it could possibly get a point from us and maybe finish mid table, but I don't feel that confident about it. Sorry Saint Bernards. But we'd love to see you back again!
05 - Beepee
CE: Wow. Retro. This could also pick up a few points from us. Might even do well because of how much it's standing out.
FT: Probably won't. But I certainly enjoyed it, even if it sounded before my time.
CE: And Fleen enjoyed it, so you know it's good.
06 - Indo States
CE: After a disqualification and a long break, it's the Indo States!
FT: Let's just hope they actually vote this time.
CE: Let's. Anyway, the song! It's OK. Not much else needs to be said about it. Could do fairly well, though I won't bet on it.
07 - Vartugia
FT: That was surprisingly competent.
CE: Yeah, I know. I'm honestly surprised it went through, like the government went "Eh" and stamped the approval.
FT: They'll clamp down on it when they get their crazy pills.
08 - Not Fatiman Federation
FT: Congratulations, Not Fatiman Federation, you almost turned me to drink.
09 - Elejamie
FT: That's us.
CE: But we can't reserve judgement on it.
FT: I think we can but we can't be too critical.
CE: It's very clubby. And I hope it does very well, well we all do.
10 - Axuva
CE: It's not going to set the world on fire but it's still a decent enough ditty. Might just squeak into the top ten if it's absolutely lucky, which I hope it is but I wouldn't bet on it.
11 - Mister X
CE: Tracy Manson, hoping to make a massive comeback after the disaster that was her performance in Rosario.
FT: Still didn't deserve 21st out of 26, to be honest.
CE: I know, right! But here, she's back and with a much stronger song. Beat's good, vocals are good, overall this should finally get them out of that slump.
FT: Unlike the last time you said that. They did do well on home soil, however.
12 - Missus X
CE: This sounds like something you'd enjoy when you're 8 or 9 but when you hear it as an adult, it'll either lead to a wave of nostalgia or a wave of drinking.
FT: I can't tell if that's a compliment or not.
CE: Well I think it's fairly decent, not the best but it could've been a lot worse. So we'll have to see how it does.
13 - Polkopia
CE: That was OK. You can dance to it at the club but it'd only work if it's in the middle of the set. At the start, you wouldn't have enough groove for the rest of it and at the end it'd just come off as a bit weak.
FT: So Polkopia has given up?
CE: Not exactly. This'll still finish top ten. Plenty of countries would like this, and they should, it's just that I'm feeling a bit unsure about this entry. Hopefully the people watching this will prove me wrong!
14 - Proluvia
TBA
15 - Achaean Republic
FT: At least it was better than Kamasutra?
CE: I'm going to be honest, I kind of found it funny. Like the beat, the intro, everything. If it's not a serious song, then that's a relief.
FT: And if it is?
CE: I'll probably have to make a massive apology. Still liked it, though, could receive a few points from the people back home.
16 - Ertzei Kishim/Kishrael
CE: Again, it meets the legal requirements to bang. Yeah, it feels by the numbers but I'd dance to it if it was playing in the club. It's not memorable but it still fills the hole. Satisfies the need to have something to dance to.
FT: And I don't need to comment because it's not my sort of music.
17 - Nekoni
CE: OK, you can't hate this. It's not that great of a song, the vocals are kind of buried or the sound effects are too annoyingly loud. But it's fun, it's funny, he's having a good time.
FT: Highly doubt everyone else is but OK.
18 - Talvezout
CE: Talvezout are going all-out aren't they? They've given us a brilliant stage, a couple of brilliant opening tracks and, to round things off, they've given us this... masterpiece.
FT: I admit I liked it.
19 - Fauntenheddo
WITHDRAWN apparently
20 - Malta Comino Gozo
CE: You can certainly tempt us, Malta Comino Gozo.
FT: Song's decent.
CE: Yeah, it's not as great as their previous offerings but I'm still confident it'll do well. Probably won't be a podium finisher but will definitely be a top ten.
21 - Wazekia
CE: Wazekia there, making a comeback in style with this incredibly good dance track. Should do very well tonight.
22 - The Hlhata States
CE: Somehow I don't think they're talking about chicken thighs.
FT: And I don't think they "less than three" them either.
CE: So how was it?
FT: Also bad. Not as much of a trainwreck as Nahlcomo and Not Fatiman Federation but it's up there. It's like a train that's being sent to clear the wreckage only to end up adding onto the pile of wrecked cabs and cars.
CE: I don't know why that's happening but OK.
23 - Estogium
CE: Should be yet another top ten for them. All I can say, really.
24 - Todlichebujoku
CE: It's OK but, again, it feels like it could be better. It's kind of a recurring theme tonight among the big nations.
FT: "We're number one so why try harder".
CE: Maybe. This is the least mediocre, it's good if I had to pick between good or bad. It'll do well, as it should, but I'm not sure if the folks back home would enjoy it as much.
25 - Izmedu
CE: Lower end of the good dance tracks but still miles ahead of the ones put out by the big nations this evening.
FT: Miles ahead?
CE: Neh, half a mile. But I still like this song and I hope to see if pick up more than a few points this evening.
26 - Kalosia
CE: I'm kind of mixed on this. His vocals work and the backing track kind of does too, it's just the metallic "doo-dee-doo-loo-doo" bit which kind of irks me. I get wanting to add something to the backing track to make it seem less boring but that's not it.
FT: So not a worthy successor then?
CE: I'd say it is. It'll probably do a little worse than last time but, to be fair, they won last time, so I can't imagine two in a row. But this song will definitely do well tonight. A good way to close the show.
FT: Especially when you consider what the opening act was.
CE: Best. Opening. Act. Ever. Or probably of recent times. I can't decide.
FT: Both songs were good.
CE: Good? They were GREAT. All caps. The first opening act is just inescribable. But in the good way. Excellent tune, excellent staging, everyone cheering when their nations were mentioned in that monologue. What's not to love.
FT: And the second song?
CE: Great as well. Love the floating stage and I hope it gets more use tonight. Shame about the queen who lost her wig but hey, looks like someone's going home with a freebie!
FT: Unless security stops them.
CE: Unless security stops them, yes, but I don't know if that'll happen. Still, everyone's pumped up so let's get right on with the show!
01 - Nahlcomo
FT: This was just a trainwreck. Too niche, too hard to understand unless you've been keeping up with things. Just bad.
CE: At least the music's tolerable?
FT: At least that wasn't terrible.
CE: Hopefully the rest of the contest won't be like this.
02 - Scotatrova
Sadly withdrawn
03 - Amuaplye
CE: Truth be told, the vocals seem like they'll grate if you listen to it again and again and again and again. But I still like this song. I really do.
FT: I'd imagine the kids would like it.
04 - Saint Bernards
CE: This doesn't feel like a song about the beauty and the lushness and the friendliness of this tropical island nation paradise, it feels more like "If you come here, we will stab you. And it will hurt."
FT: So bad then?
CE: Not bad, it could possibly get a point from us and maybe finish mid table, but I don't feel that confident about it. Sorry Saint Bernards. But we'd love to see you back again!
05 - Beepee
CE: Wow. Retro. This could also pick up a few points from us. Might even do well because of how much it's standing out.
FT: Probably won't. But I certainly enjoyed it, even if it sounded before my time.
CE: And Fleen enjoyed it, so you know it's good.
06 - Indo States
CE: After a disqualification and a long break, it's the Indo States!
FT: Let's just hope they actually vote this time.
CE: Let's. Anyway, the song! It's OK. Not much else needs to be said about it. Could do fairly well, though I won't bet on it.
07 - Vartugia
FT: That was surprisingly competent.
CE: Yeah, I know. I'm honestly surprised it went through, like the government went "Eh" and stamped the approval.
FT: They'll clamp down on it when they get their crazy pills.
08 - Not Fatiman Federation
FT: Congratulations, Not Fatiman Federation, you almost turned me to drink.
09 - Elejamie
FT: That's us.
CE: But we can't reserve judgement on it.
FT: I think we can but we can't be too critical.
CE: It's very clubby. And I hope it does very well, well we all do.
10 - Axuva
CE: It's not going to set the world on fire but it's still a decent enough ditty. Might just squeak into the top ten if it's absolutely lucky, which I hope it is but I wouldn't bet on it.
11 - Mister X
CE: Tracy Manson, hoping to make a massive comeback after the disaster that was her performance in Rosario.
FT: Still didn't deserve 21st out of 26, to be honest.
CE: I know, right! But here, she's back and with a much stronger song. Beat's good, vocals are good, overall this should finally get them out of that slump.
FT: Unlike the last time you said that. They did do well on home soil, however.
12 - Missus X
CE: This sounds like something you'd enjoy when you're 8 or 9 but when you hear it as an adult, it'll either lead to a wave of nostalgia or a wave of drinking.
FT: I can't tell if that's a compliment or not.
CE: Well I think it's fairly decent, not the best but it could've been a lot worse. So we'll have to see how it does.
13 - Polkopia
CE: That was OK. You can dance to it at the club but it'd only work if it's in the middle of the set. At the start, you wouldn't have enough groove for the rest of it and at the end it'd just come off as a bit weak.
FT: So Polkopia has given up?
CE: Not exactly. This'll still finish top ten. Plenty of countries would like this, and they should, it's just that I'm feeling a bit unsure about this entry. Hopefully the people watching this will prove me wrong!
14 - Proluvia
TBA
15 - Achaean Republic
FT: At least it was better than Kamasutra?
CE: I'm going to be honest, I kind of found it funny. Like the beat, the intro, everything. If it's not a serious song, then that's a relief.
FT: And if it is?
CE: I'll probably have to make a massive apology. Still liked it, though, could receive a few points from the people back home.
16 - Ertzei Kishim/Kishrael
CE: Again, it meets the legal requirements to bang. Yeah, it feels by the numbers but I'd dance to it if it was playing in the club. It's not memorable but it still fills the hole. Satisfies the need to have something to dance to.
FT: And I don't need to comment because it's not my sort of music.
17 - Nekoni
CE: OK, you can't hate this. It's not that great of a song, the vocals are kind of buried or the sound effects are too annoyingly loud. But it's fun, it's funny, he's having a good time.
FT: Highly doubt everyone else is but OK.
18 - Talvezout
CE: Talvezout are going all-out aren't they? They've given us a brilliant stage, a couple of brilliant opening tracks and, to round things off, they've given us this... masterpiece.
FT: I admit I liked it.
19 - Fauntenheddo
WITHDRAWN apparently
20 - Malta Comino Gozo
CE: You can certainly tempt us, Malta Comino Gozo.
FT: Song's decent.
CE: Yeah, it's not as great as their previous offerings but I'm still confident it'll do well. Probably won't be a podium finisher but will definitely be a top ten.
21 - Wazekia
CE: Wazekia there, making a comeback in style with this incredibly good dance track. Should do very well tonight.
22 - The Hlhata States
CE: Somehow I don't think they're talking about chicken thighs.
FT: And I don't think they "less than three" them either.
CE: So how was it?
FT: Also bad. Not as much of a trainwreck as Nahlcomo and Not Fatiman Federation but it's up there. It's like a train that's being sent to clear the wreckage only to end up adding onto the pile of wrecked cabs and cars.
CE: I don't know why that's happening but OK.
23 - Estogium
CE: Should be yet another top ten for them. All I can say, really.
24 - Todlichebujoku
CE: It's OK but, again, it feels like it could be better. It's kind of a recurring theme tonight among the big nations.
FT: "We're number one so why try harder".
CE: Maybe. This is the least mediocre, it's good if I had to pick between good or bad. It'll do well, as it should, but I'm not sure if the folks back home would enjoy it as much.
25 - Izmedu
CE: Lower end of the good dance tracks but still miles ahead of the ones put out by the big nations this evening.
FT: Miles ahead?
CE: Neh, half a mile. But I still like this song and I hope to see if pick up more than a few points this evening.
26 - Kalosia
CE: I'm kind of mixed on this. His vocals work and the backing track kind of does too, it's just the metallic "doo-dee-doo-loo-doo" bit which kind of irks me. I get wanting to add something to the backing track to make it seem less boring but that's not it.
FT: So not a worthy successor then?
CE: I'd say it is. It'll probably do a little worse than last time but, to be fair, they won last time, so I can't imagine two in a row. But this song will definitely do well tonight. A good way to close the show.
FT: Especially when you consider what the opening act was.