Title: Video Games Lead to Violins!
The issue: A group of helicopter parents, students, and musicians have come knocking on your door after a recent publication in the highly regarded and respected scientific journal citing that video games have lead to increased Violins.
Option 1
"We at the Parents against Annoying Musical instruments and other annoying sounds watch dog group can not stand for this!" Pipes in a a particularly vocal individual clearing several other reports off your desk. "You must ban Video games right now, this instance! I mean look at this report it clear as day says that playing video games even for 5 minutes a day leads to nearly a 50% increased in violins! These annoying headache causing instruments must be eliminated. The only way is to ban video games!"
Effect:
Video games are now banned
Option 2
"What’s so bad about violins?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@ the famously obsese musician "Learning to play music is linked to higher success rates in school. I say we dedicate at least an hour a day to video games in our schools so that students are adequately exposed. And to make up for it we can cut gym class because come on really when am I ever going to need to know how to play ‘Cucumber ball’.”
Effect
Many schools have removed their physical education programs and replaced them with video game class.
Option 3
"uhm ..... I don't mean to be rude but I do think that is a small typo in the article." exclaims Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, spreading countless articles with other “small” misspellings on your desk. “Look at these article here ‘Teenage Sax rates at an all time low: How to prevent teenage pregnancy’ Do you really think that Saxophones are reasonable for this? NO these journals can say whatever they want! You need to put your foot down and make it illegal to publish non-peer reviewed and Accredited articles! You should create a department to prevent this from ever happening again!l"
Effect
The Department of Peer Review, Accreditation, and Spell Check has been created.
One thing that got tossed around is that this only works in English and yes that is true however as the preferred language of academia is English I would argue that it still "works" being that someone who does not have a firm grasp on English made the report potential?
At least that's my thoughts and I may be crazy
thank you all so far for the feedback and input