Diego the Tortoise Retires: Single Handedly Saved Species

[Farnhamia]

Yeah if he's the dad of every galapagos tortoise that was born recently, doesn't that mean that when the children have kids, the offspring will be the product of major league incest?

The galapgos tortoise is doomed

Not really. As long as zookeepers keep an eye on how related any mating pair are they should be able to avoid creating any Galapagos Habsburgs.

Tortoises don't have lips, do they?

[Aclion]

Not really. As long as zookeepers keep an eye on how related any mating pair are they should be able to avoid creating any Galapagos Habsburgs.

Tortoises don't have lips, do they?

For now

[Ifreann]

Not really. As long as zookeepers keep an eye on how related any mating pair are they should be able to avoid creating any Galapagos Habsburgs.

Tortoises don't have lips, do they?

I can't say I've ever tried to kiss one.

[Bromagia]

Rock on Mr. Tortoise. You're an inspiration.

[Bombadil]

Not really. As long as zookeepers keep an eye on how related any mating pair are they should be able to avoid creating any Galapagos Habsburgs.

Tortoises don't have lips, do they?

Tortoise beaks are just hardened lips, no one said Diego was a good snogger.

[Farnhamia]

Tortoises don't have lips, do they?

I can't say I've ever tried to kiss one.

No, me neither. Huh. Didn't Gallo have a project to kiss every species known to science?

[Andsed]

What a fucking lad. Go on you magnificent bastard!

[Outer Sparta]

What a legend. He can now retire knowing his work is all done.

[Bombadil]

Of course if it was a female tortoise who'd saved the tortoise race by shagging 300 different fathers we'd be calling her a massive slut.

[Ethel mermania]

Of course if it was a female tortoise who'd saved the tortoise race by shagging 300 different fathers we'd be calling her a massive slut.

And think of all those single mothers left without hatchling aupport.

THAT BASTARD

[Bombadil]

Of course if it was a female tortoise who'd saved the tortoise race by shagging 300 different fathers we'd be calling her a massive slut.

And think of all those single mothers left without hatchling aupport.

THAT BASTARD

Does he remember any of his kids names let alone their birthdays, no he fucking doesn't cos he really couldn't give a shit. Skipped the country to avoid child support too.

[Farnhamia]

And think of all those single mothers left without hatchling aupport.

THAT BASTARD

Does he remember any of his kids names let alone their birthdays, no he fucking doesn't cos he really couldn't give a shit. Skipped the country to avoid child support too.

And his brain's the size of a walnut?

[Heloin]

Of course if it was a female tortoise who'd saved the tortoise race by shagging 300 different fathers we'd be calling her a massive slut.

I'm tired
Sick and tired of love
I've had my fill of love
From below and above
Tired, tired of being admired
Tired of love uninspired
Let's face it
I'm tired

I've been with 1000's of men
Again and again
They promise the moon
They always coming and going
Going and coming
And always too soon
Right girls?

I'm tired,
Tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
God dammit I'm exhausted

[Rojava Free State]

Of course if it was a female tortoise who'd saved the tortoise race by shagging 300 different fathers we'd be calling her a massive slut.

Biology be like "am I a joke to you?"

[Bombadil]

Does he remember any of his kids names let alone their birthdays, no he fucking doesn't cos he really couldn't give a shit. Skipped the country to avoid child support too.

And his brain's the size of a walnut?

In the 17th century, Francesco Redi performed an experiment that involved removing the brain of a land tortoise, which then proceeded to live six months.

I discovered that looking up the possibility of this..

Of course if it was a female tortoise who'd saved the tortoise race by shagging 300 different fathers we'd be calling her a massive slut.

Biology be like "am I a joke to you?"

Tortoises can have up to 2 and a half clutches a year so given a 130 year life span she'd be busy, but it's possible.

[Ethel mermania]

Does he remember any of his kids names let alone their birthdays, no he fucking doesn't cos he really couldn't give a shit. Skipped the country to avoid child support too.

And his brain's the size of a walnut?

So are half the people I grew up with, Your point?

[Aclion]

And his brain's the size of a walnut?

In the 17th century, Francesco Redi performed an experiment that involved removing the brain of a land tortoise, which then proceeded to live six months.

This also works with ns posters, but we only last 30 days.

[Giovenith]

why's that and is that a bad thing?

Was the excuse they used to ruin Game of Thrones Yeah, it's not healthy.

[Rojava Free State]

Was the excuse they used to ruin Game of Thrones Yeah, it's not healthy.

The galapagos tortoise gets to live on as...this, instead of going extinct

[Bromagia]

In the 17th century, Francesco Redi performed an experiment that involved removing the brain of a land tortoise, which then proceeded to live six months.

This also works with ns posters, but we only last 30 days.

Speak for yourself. My wife took my brain out 4 years ago when I forgot our anniversary and I'm still here.

[Bombadil]

Luckily Diego's brain is clearly lodged firmly in his balls so it's all a moot point.

[San Lumen]

I agree with all the beautiful comments. A statue should be erected at San Diego Zoo in his honor. Perhaps one on the Galapagos Islands too.

[Bromagia]

I agree with all the beautiful comments. A statue should be erected at San Diego Zoo in his honor. Perhaps one on the Galapagos Islands too.

Heh.

But yes, Diego merits a statue. Maybe a knighthood.

[Galloism]

I can't say I've ever tried to kiss one.

No, me neither. Huh. Didn't Gallo have a project to kiss every species known to science?

My dedication to that cause was both grossly overblown and misstated.

It was to kiss every humanoid species in the universe.

And it was a bet made after a drinking game.

[San Lumen]

I agree with all the beautiful comments. A statue should be erected at San Diego Zoo in his honor. Perhaps one on the Galapagos Islands too.

Heh.

But yes, Diego merits a statue. Maybe a knighthood.

He surely merits a statue. A knighthood isnt a bad idea either. Sir Diego has a nice ring to it.