[SUBMITTED] Weapons of Moss Destruction

[Makdon]

This seems like something that might have already been done, or at least the general idea. But I figured I'd try it anyways. Thanks for any advice!

Title: Weapons of Moss Destruction

Description: Due to a lack of more important news, a small legal case has become the talk of @@NAME@@. @@RANDOMNAME@@ has been a yard worker all @@HIS@@ life, and has come down with a terrible and obscure case of cancer. @@HE@@ blames it on Flora Flattener, a common herbicide with seemingly deadly side effects. After the court ruled in favor of the company, protesters have taken up the cause, and many wish for new legislation.

Validity: capitalism? Court system, protest allowed

Option 1: Coughing and wheezing, @@RANDOMNAME1@@ pushes @@HIS@@ way into your office, leaving distressed doctors outside with nothing but a gurney. “@@LEADER@@ you’ve got to listen to me!” @@HE@@ shrieks. “I can’t pay these medical bills! Companies should be forced to pay the bills for anything that could’ve been their fault regardless of evidence or whatever else it is that judge wanted”

Effect: People often throw themselves in front of buses in hopes of becoming millionaires.

Option 2: @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of the company behind Flora Flattener, strolls in, glancing disdainfully at the gardener, who has collapsed on your trash can to vomit. “Listen, @@LEADER@@, I’m sure we can come to an understanding. How can an innocent group of citizens trying to create a way for gardens to flourish be responsible for something like this?” @@HE@@ queries. “However, a bit of work could be done to improve safety, with the help of some government subsidies, of course.”

Effect: Companies make their products deadly so they can get “research” funds.

Option 3: A protester pops out of the closet, brandishing a sign which they throw at one of your aides as they storm towards you. “The problem isn't simply the herbicide, @@LEADER@@, it’s the whole capitalist system that allows disasters like this to happen! Only if it’s abolished and this nation becomes socialist will us citizens be safe” They pull out a copy of the communist manifesto and yell “Glory to the revolution” as they’re dragged from your office.

Effect: @@NATION@@ is now free of capitalism and good gardens

Title: Weapons of Moss Destruction

Description: Due to a lack of more important news, a small legal case has become the talk of @@NAME@@. @@RANDOMNAME@@ has been a yard worker all @@HIS@@ life, and has come down with a terrible and obscure case of cancer. @@HE@@ blames it on Flora Flattener, a common herbicide with seemingly deadly side effects. After the court ruled in favor of the company thanks to the absence of solid medical evidence, protesters have taken up the cause, and many wish for new legislation.

Validity: capitalism? Court system, protest allowed

Option 1: Coughing and wheezing, @@RANDOMNAME1@@ pushes @@HIS@@ way into your office, leaving distressed doctors outside with nothing but a gurney. “@@LEADER@@ you’ve got to listen to me!” @@HE@@ shrieks. “I can’t pay these medical bills! Companies should be forced to pay the bills for anything that could’ve been their fault regardless of all the rules”

Effect: People often throw themselves in front of buses in hopes of becoming millionaires.

Option 2: @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of the company behind Flora Flattener, strolls in, glancing disdainfully at the gardener, who has collapsed on your trash can to vomit. “Listen, @@LEADER@@, I’m sure we can come to an understanding. How can an innocent group of citizens trying to create a way for gardens to flourish be responsible for something like this?” @@HE@@ queries. “However, a bit of work could be done to improve safety, with the help of some government subsidies, of course.”

Effect: Companies make their products deadly so they can get “research” funds.

Option 3: A protester pops out of the closet, brandishing a sign which they throw at one of your aides as they storm towards you. “The problem isn't simply the herbicide, @@LEADER@@, it’s the whole capitalist system that allows disasters like this to happen! Only if it’s abolished and this nation becomes socialist will us citizens be safe” They pull out a copy of the communist manifesto and yell “Glory to the revolution” as they’re dragged from your office.

Effect: @@NATION@@ is now free of capitalism and good gardens

Title: Weapons of Moss Destruction

Description: Moss Maimer, a powerful herbicide, has been in hot water thanks to a group lawsuit by thousands of consumers who have blamed it for their cancer. After the court ruled in favor of the company thanks to lack of solid medical evidence, @@NAME@@ is buzzing with discussion over what counts as too dangerous for the market.

Validity: capitalism? Court system, protest allowed

Option 1: Coughing and wheezing, @@RANDOMNAME@@, a gardener who used Moss Maimer all his life, pushes @@HIS@@ way into your office, leaving distressed doctors outside with nothing but a gurney. “@@LEADER@@ you’ve got to listen to me!” @@HE@@ shrieks. “I can’t pay these medical bills! Companies should be forced to pay the bills for anything that could’ve been their fault regardless of all the rules”

Effect: @@DEMONYM@@ often swallow toothpaste in hopes of becoming millionaires

Option 2: @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of the company behind Moss Maimer, strolls in, glancing disdainfully at the gardener, who has collapsed on your trash can to vomit. “Listen, @@LEADER@@, I’m sure we can come to an understanding. How can an innocent group of citizens trying to create a way for gardens to flourish be responsible for something like this?” @@HE@@ queries. “These ruffians should pay us reparations for these cruel lies they’ve spread.”

Effect: companies make their products slightly poisonous to receive defamation payments

Option 3: A protester pops out of the closet, brandishing a sign which they throw at one of your aides as they storm towards you. “The problem isn't simply the herbicide, @@LEADER@@, it’s the whole capitalist system that allows disasters like this to happen! Only if it’s abolished and this nation becomes socialist will us citizens be safe” They pull out a copy of the communist manifesto and yell “Glory to the revolution” as they’re dragged from your office.

Effect: moss takes over buildings as newly government owned co-ops struggle to create an herbicide

Title: Weapons of Moss Destruction

Description: Moss Maimer, a powerful herbicide, has been in hot water thanks to a group lawsuit by thousands of consumers who have blamed it for their cancer. After the court ruled in favor of the company thanks to lack of solid medical evidence, @@NAME@@ is buzzing with discussion over what counts as too dangerous for the market.

Validity: capitalism? Court system, protest allowed

Option 1: Coughing and wheezing, @@RANDOMNAME@@, a gardener who used Moss Maimer all his life, pushes @@HIS@@ way into your office, leaving distressed doctors outside with nothing but a gurney. “@@LEADER@@ you’ve got to listen to me!” @@HE@@ shrieks. “I can’t pay these medical bills! Sure no research has been done to validate this, but doctors think the herbicide is likely the cause. It takes a lot of money to perform good medical research, you know, and I sure don’t have it! Companies should be forced to pay for research on the safety of their products.”

Effect: millions are spent to research the medical effects of breakfast cereals

Option 2: @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of the company behind Moss Maimer, strolls in, glancing disdainfully at the gardener, who has collapsed on your trash can to vomit. “Listen, @@LEADER@@, I’m sure we can come to an understanding. How can an innocent group of citizens trying to create a way for gardens to flourish be responsible for something like this?” @@HE@@ queries. “These ruffians should pay us reparations for these cruel lies they’ve spread.”

Effect: companies make their products slightly poisonous to receive defamation payments

Option 3: A protester pops out of the closet, brandishing a sign which they throw at one of your aides as they storm towards you. “The problem isn't simply the herbicide, @@LEADER@@, it’s the whole capitalist system that allows disasters like this to happen! Only if it’s abolished and this nation becomes socialist will us citizens be safe” They pull out a copy of the communist manifesto and yell “Glory to the revolution” as they’re dragged from your office.

Effect: moss takes over buildings as newly government owned co-ops struggle to create an herbicide

[Socio Polor]

There's quite a few issues that reference cancer, but one I found that discusses it specifically is #993, which is completely different from this premise so no overlap there. In terms of getting employers to pay for their employees medical bills or other forms of workers compensation I couldn't find an issue that discusses that so unless I overlooked something I would say you're good

[Makdon]

There's quite a few issues that reference cancer, but one I found that discusses it specifically is #993, which is completely different from this premise so no overlap there. In terms of getting employers to pay for their employees medical bills or other forms of workers compensation I couldn't find an issue that discusses that so unless I overlooked something I would say you're good

Great! Thanks so much!

[Socio Polor]

Title: Weapons of Moss Destruction

I'm a little iffy about this title. I see where you're trying to get at, but I'm not sure if "moss" is exactly appropriate here.

Due to a lull in the news, a small legal case has become the talk of @@NATION@@.

"Lull" probably isn't the best term here, you should revise this part of the description a bit, maybe something along the lines of "Due to a heightened news week, a small legal case as become the talk of..." also the proper macro is @@NAME@@ not @@NATION@@.

“@@LEADER@@ you’ve got to listen to me!” @@HE@@ shrieks. “I can’t pay these medical bills! Companies should be forced to pay the bills for anything that could’ve been their fault regardless of evidence or whatever else it is that judge wanted.”

Punctuation correction

@@HE@@ queries. “However, a bit of work could be done to improve safety, with the help of some government subsidies, of course.”

Punctuation correction

Option 3: A protester pops out of the closet, brandishing a sign which they throw at one of your aides as they storm towards you. “The problem isn't simply the herbicide, @@LEADER@@, it’s the whole capitalist system that allows disasters like this to happen! Only if it’s abolished and this nation becomes socialist will us citizens be safe” They pull out a copy of the communist manifesto and yell “Glory to the revolution” as they’re dragged from your office.

Not all nations are capitalist so you'll have the remove capitilist form the main validity and put it as a validity only for this option while coming up with an alternative for nations that aren't capitilist

[Socio Polor]

Actually scratch that, the capitilist validity is fine. Unless you plan on re-doing the issue a bit

[Makdon]

I'm a little iffy about this title. I see where you're trying to get at, but I'm not sure if "moss" is exactly appropriate here.

I'm not really sure what else to put. Maybe a pun along the lines of "Thistle be the end of me"?

"Lull" probably isn't the best term here, you should revise this part of the description a bit, maybe something along the lines of "Due to a heightened news week, a small legal case as become the talk of..." also the proper macro is @@NAME@@ not @@NATION@@.

Changed that up

Not all nations are capitalist so you'll have the remove capitilist form the main validity and put it as a validity only for this option while coming up with an alternative for nations that aren't capitilist

Can't issues have requirements? It's not like all nations have court systems either, mine doesn't. Just wanted to make sure because I feel like the whole issue is kind of dependent on it being capitalist. I also fixed the grammar things. Thanks for the advice!

[Socio Polor]

Can't issues have requirements? It's not like all nations have court systems either, mine doesn't. Just wanted to make sure because I feel like the whole issue is kind of dependent on it being capitalist. I also fixed the grammar things. Thanks for the advice!

Yeah, keep capitalist on there

[Bormiar]

Just two notes:

Option 1 seems an obvious bad choice when saying "regardless of evidence or whatever else it is that judge wanted".

Effect 3 doesn't have an unintended consequence.

[Australian rePublic]

Why did the judge rule in favour of the company?

[Makdon]

Just two notes:

Option 1 seems an obvious bad choice when saying "regardless of evidence or whatever else it is that judge wanted".

Effect 3 doesn't have an unintended consequence.

I think I solved the first bit by simply changing it to something less obviously bad, but I'm a bit confused as to what you meant about effect 3.

Why did the judge rule in favour of the company?

I tried to explain this by saying there wasn't enough medical evidence, which doesn't imply that the case was necessarily wrong, I think. Thanks for the advice!

[Socio Polor]

Effect: @@NATION@@ is now free of capitalism and good gardens

This effect line is a tad off, you should consider altering it

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Title: Weapons of Moss Destruction

Don't change that title. Change the issue to match the title if you have to, but that title is genius.

Description: Due to a lack of more important news, a small legal case has become the talk of @@NAME@@. @@RANDOMNAME@@ has been a yard worker all @@HIS@@ life, and has come down with a terrible and obscure case of cancer. @@HE@@ blames it on Flora Flattener, a common herbicide with seemingly deadly side effects. After the court ruled in favor of the company thanks to the absence of solid medical evidence, protesters have taken up the cause, and many wish for new legislation.

Trim the fat on this. Try and communicate the same information in half as many words.

I'd note there's quite a few issues about pesticides, though none specifically about herbicides, so overlap wise this is fine.

One thing I'd note though is that the premise here isn't enough to make this a national issue at present, and saying that "protestors have taken up the cause" is just a fudge.

Instead, I suggest multiplying up the case to something like:

A group lawsuit on behalf of thousands of cancer sufferers who blame their illness on the herbicide "Moss Macerator" has recently failed due to scientific evidence falling just short of standards of statistical significance.

A set-up like that could then lead into a nuanced argument where the cancer victims claim that "probably harmful" should be good enough to get the product off the market, while the corporation argues for compensation for the undue reputational damage to their brand.

[Makdon]

Effect: @@NATION@@ is now free of capitalism and good gardens

This effect line is a tad off, you should consider altering it

Changed it, hope it's better now

Trim the fat on this. Try and communicate the same information in half as many words.

One thing I'd note though is that the premise here isn't enough to make this a national issue at present, and saying that "protestors have taken up the cause" is just a fudge.

Instead, I suggest multiplying up the case to something like:

A group lawsuit on behalf of thousands of cancer sufferers who blame their illness on the herbicide "Moss Macerator" has recently failed due to scientific evidence falling just short of standards of statistical significance.

A set-up like that could then lead into a nuanced argument where the cancer victims claim that "probably harmful" should be good enough to get the product off the market, while the corporation argues for compensation for the undue reputational damage to their brand.

I completely rewrote the description to make it shorter, and to make it more along the lines you suggested. I also changed up option 2 and effects 1 and 2 for the same goal. I am wondering whether I should change up option 1 to make it more like that too. Thanks so much for the advice!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Option 1: Coughing and wheezing, @@RANDOMNAME@@, a gardener who used Moss Maimer all his life, pushes @@HIS@@ way into your office, leaving distressed doctors outside with nothing but a gurney. “@@LEADER@@ you’ve got to listen to me!” @@HE@@ shrieks. “I can’t pay these medical bills! Companies should be forced to pay the bills for anything that could’ve been their fault regardless of all the rules”

This is too unreasonable a position for anyone to pick. Instead, I suggest making it more nuanced, to say something along the lines of "expert doctors said it was 75% likely that this herbicide caused the cancer, it's only that it's not been in anyone's interests to fund the studies that would prove this to be true". In other words, have him suggest that it's likely they are at fault, but that the evidence doesn't exist because of corporate interests.

[Makdon]

This is too unreasonable a position for anyone to pick. Instead, I suggest making it more nuanced, to say something along the lines of "expert doctors said it was 75% likely that this herbicide caused the cancer, it's only that it's not been in anyone's interests to fund the studies that would prove this to be true". In other words, have him suggest that it's likely they are at fault, but that the evidence doesn't exist because of corporate interests.

I changed up option 1 and it's effect to say something like that

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Cool, issue isn't looking at all bad now. I suggest keep drafting for more feedback for a week or two to refine it further, but its already in a good place.

[Jutsa]

Bless this draft. Hands down a solid issue.

[Makdon]

Cool, issue isn't looking at all bad now. I suggest keep drafting for more feedback for a week or two to refine it further, but its already in a good place.

Bless this draft. Hands down a solid issue.

Thank you both so much! I'll be sure to keep it here for a while

[Makdon]

Does anyone have more advice?

[Makdon]

If no one has anymore advice, I think I'll submit this soon

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Sounds fair. I look forward to seeing it formally submitted.

[Makdon]

Sounds fair. I look forward to seeing it formally submitted.

Thanks for all your help

[Australian rePublic]

Good luck