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by The Sherpa Empire » Wed Dec 18, 2019 12:09 am
by Abanhfleft » Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:51 am
ABANHFLEFT 3 - 1 BRIGANTII
RUSEV (11') RIDDLES (73' og)
McGINNIS (26')
WOODWARD (40')
████SARZONIA 1 - 2 ABANHFLEFT
CAMPOS (58') McGINNIS (17')
BRITT (86')
by Nephara » Wed Dec 18, 2019 2:29 am
Aquitlita 0 - 2 Nephara
(4-4-2) 1 - Mercator; 18 - Longship (2 - Sanger 76'), 22 - Anderson, 6 - Brosch, 19 - Katarec; 13 - Saroszi, 15 - Rauch, 21 - Moxham (8 - Chalk 65'), 16 - Deventer; 17 - Bastable, 10 - Metzger (22 - Lovelace 54')
Goals: Saroszi 27', Bastable 40'
by Schottia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 2:33 am
Granton, North Handon, 2005…
‘Come on Gary.’ Darren Hanlon pleaded, as they left through the players’ entrance at the back of Sea Park Stadium. ‘You said, if we won tonight, we’d have a drink to celebrate.’
Gary Corsie and Darren Hanlon were on loan at Granton Vale, from Port Sebastian and Kings Park respectively. A pair of soft, academy trained nineteen-year-olds, they were still adjusting to the cut and thrust of first team football in the second tier. They had been somewhat flung together, sharing a small tiny two bedroom flat, which the club owned on the Granton Road, just above the corner shop. For both of them, it was the first time out from under their parents’ roof, and they were bravely facing the challenges side-by-side. Burnt scrambled eggs, locating fuse boxes, changing vacuum cleaner bags – they hadn’t quite mastered things yet, but they were well on their way.
‘I don’t know Darren…’ Gary pulled his kitbag onto his shoulder. ‘The whole celebration malarkey is a little rich for my blood.’ The young men checked for traffic before crossing the road. ‘Maybe we could have a hot chocolate on the couch..?’ Objectively speaking, there was plenty of cause for celebration. Granton Vale had been riding high in the league, and the win over New Island left them seven points clear.
‘Gary, that’s not celebrating.’ Darren pleaded, as they headed past the supermarket, and onto Granton Road. ‘Even with a shot of Irish cream added.’
Gary already had his keys in his hand, ready to open the door to the stairwell. After dark, the high-street was swarming with groups of teenagers, keeping the two young men on edge. Both of them were well over six foot tall, but all the same, they breathed a collective sigh of relief when they were finally inside.
‘What did you have in mind them?’ Gary asked, as they reached their flat on the second floor, and dumped their bags in the living room/kitchen. ‘Ideally I could be getting on with a bit of painting. I’ve assembled that regiment of halberdiers, and if I want to use them at the next gaming night, I’ll need to get cracking.’
‘Something that young people do!’ Darren threw his arms in the air. ‘Visit a discotheque. Head down to the Quayside and drink expensive drinks. Maybe meet some young ladies…’
‘Oh… I don’t know.’ Gary groaned, making a beeline for the kettle. ‘You know I’m not really into all that modern music or dancing.’ With the kettle filled, Gary flicked the switch and went to fetch a teabag.
‘You’d get into it after a drink or two.’ Darren walked across the floor and turned the kettle back off. ‘Come on, it’s already half nine, if we don’t leave now, we never will.’
Gary dropped the teabag on the kitchen counter in defeat. ‘Fine… On your head be it..?’ He stared at his flatmate with narrowed eyes.
‘On my head be it.’ Darren conceded, looking fit to burst with excitement. Six months living together, and this was the closest he’d got to convincing Gary to leave the flat. ‘I promise you, If anything goes wrong, I’ll do your dishes for a week!’
by The Andromeda Island Group » Wed Dec 18, 2019 2:55 am
by PotatoFarmers » Wed Dec 18, 2019 3:37 am
Euran Oceania Territories 1
Player #7 34'
Poafmersia 1
Bytia Hisel 50'
Starting 11 against EOT
Jabik Henderson (captain);
Graciia Warisian, Konile Trasa, Ftiks Wariq, Denise Pickford;
Matthew Tibrise, Daas Taisg, Daak Kalson;
Joel Haodao, Bytia Hisel, Nasir Hansir
Substitutes
None
Group 5 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 The Macabees 5 5 0 0 10 3 +7 15
2 Siovanija & Teusland 5 4 0 1 12 5 +7 12
3 Nephara 4 3 1 0 8 1 +7 10
4 Aquitlia 5 2 2 1 7 5 +2 8
5 Poafmersia 5 1 2 2 10 9 +1 5
6 Euran Oceania Territories 4 1 2 1 5 5 0 5
7 Lochario 5 1 1 3 3 7 −4 4
8 Squornshelous 4 1 1 2 8 13 −5 4
9 Anthor 4 1 0 3 2 7 −5 3
10 BOLGANO 5 0 2 3 7 10 −3 2
11 Monso 4 0 1 3 3 10 −7 1
by Balqia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 4:02 am
by Vdara » Wed Dec 18, 2019 4:07 am
Group 6
Hapilopper 0–1 Darkmania
Kwangtzu Guānnán 4–5 Acapais
Quakmybush 4–3 Bongo Johnson
Sultanate of Oontaz 2–4 Darmen
Nomoterra 2–3 Vdara
Group 6 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Equestria 4 4 0 0 19 5 +14 12
2 Quakmybush 5 3 1 1 12 9 +3 10
3 Darmen 5 3 1 1 11 9 +2 10
4 Vdara 5 2 1 2 8 8 0 7
5 Hapilopper 5 2 1 2 7 8 −1 7
6 Darkmania 4 2 1 1 9 12 −3 7
7 Kwangtzu Guānnán 5 2 0 3 8 8 0 6
8 Sultanate of Oontaz 4 1 1 2 5 8 −3 4
9 Nomoterra 4 1 0 3 6 9 −3 3
10 Acapais 4 1 0 3 10 16 −6 3
11 Bongo Johnson 5 0 2 3 8 11 −3
by Bolgano » Wed Dec 18, 2019 4:08 am
by Yttribia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 4:38 am
by Jeruselem » Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:27 am
by Trolleborg » Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:42 am
by Free Republics » Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:59 am
by Mkabia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 6:08 am
by Flavovespia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:05 am
by Savojarna » Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:08 am
by Xanneria » Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:15 am
by Gopnikea » Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:22 am
by Sarzonia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 8:14 am
by Audioslavia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 10:45 am
Episode 1, Chapter 2.1 - Chasing the Eights
[Music: ‘Man Next Door’ by Horace Andy. Camera swoops up from somewhere in Audioslavia, revealing that AO has been added to the map. A few swoopy shots round AO (not currently containing Mriin but I could re-shoot that). Camera pans into a stadium and then fades to a slow flyover of AO]
There are three things we learned in Episode One.
First: Scorigami gets harder with time.
Second: It’s the teams lucky enough to attain a Scorigami that are most likely to pretend to ignore it
Third, and most important of all according to your comments:
Nobody can understand an Audioslavian accent.
Jeremy Jaffacake has gone back where he belongs - behind a computer, typing. He even typed this, which I’m reading now. And this. And this too. And me just going ‘mbleh’ here. He even spelled out the word ‘mbleh’. Krytenia is a stupid country. Simeone di Bradini <pronounce in stupid way> is dumb.
OK. Enough of that.
Here’s the state of affairs. The Scorigami chart at World Cup 21.
First of all, we’ve gone the way of R.L. States’s Jon Bois and blacked out the squares that are impossible to get.
The single square in the zero column is full. The one column is full, as are the two, three, four and five columns. From there, we taper back down in a pleasing ‘V’ formation up until the eights column, highlighted here, which contains only two Scorigamis - Eight-Nil and Eight-Seven.
Let’s fill that column up as best we can.
[camera moves from football stadium to nearby airport runway. There are graphs and forum snippets all over the runway. The next bit involves the camera moving a bit like a helicopter. I might add a helicopter sound effect. Or that might be shit.]
We get our first hit at cycle 24. There goes the 8-1 slot as Clavis <insert whatever colloquial adverb you use to mean ‘beat’ e.g. ‘scunner’, ‘skelp’, ‘shellack’, ‘thrash’ etc> Zanziik by the score in qualifying.
Hold up, though. There’s some consternation as to whether or not this is Amoral Scorigami. According to hosts Druida, Clavis may have been under the influence of ‘Taquil’, a noted attack-enhancing drug. We’re not sure what brownies Zanziik were eating, they’re just listed as ‘old recipe brownies’. Either way, if you’re an international football team and you’re eating brownies as a pre-match meal that is *not* a good sign.
We’re not about to suggest Clavis had an unnatural advantage in this game, but their next encounter was a 3-0 loss to a team called ‘Fart Islands’. Make up your own minds.
Either way: Scorigami is not a measure of talent.
World Cup 27 is our first two-Scorigami tournament in twenty-one cycles.
Priggdom are one of our heroes, etched into Scorigami history forever for allowing themselves to lose to Oliverry by a hockey score.
And here’s to Liventia, or Liverpool England as they once called themselves, 8-3 winners over Milchama in the first round. A Scorigami for both teams, although only one seemed excited about it.
Congratulations, Liventia. It would have been the highest scoring match in World Cup history, but Bedistan beat you. Also, you almost won the World Cup that year, but Bedistan beat you. Sorry. Scorigami is not a measure of talent.
There are no new Scorigamis before cycle thirty, but that’s all right. We’d tasked the 20s with giving us an eights column that we can brag about to other multiversal football tournaments, and it did us proud. How do you like them apples, CyberNations dot net?
[focus on graphs from WC20, then 30, then 40]
The 20s gave us four Scorigamis. Can the 30s top that?
[reveal of a lot of pink squares]
Oh <insert surprised swearword here>
2.2 - The Day it Rained Goals
A Krytenian once dubbed the first matchday of qualifiers for World Cup 40 ‘The Day it Rained Goals’. The name would, in fact, have been more accurate twenty-three cycles previously, for Matchday Eight of World Cup 13.
[scroll through ridiculous scorelines]
Wait.. why doesn’t the Scorigami chart reflect these scorelines?
[zoom on date of post: April 1st 2004]
Here’s Rejistania with the answer.
The Idiot Project contains every score ever published in a World Cup Scores Thread, but these scores aren’t entered manually. A quick select-all -> copy -> paste into a word processor and a couple of find/replace algorithms later, all scores appear in the database. So, for a while, the Scorigami chart looked this *this*
[insane Scorigami chart reflecting the fake scores from that day]
Eventually, our team of researchers - Sober Jeremy, Drunk Jeremy and Very Drunk Jeremy - figured out what had happened.
[chart fades to real WC13 scorigami chart]
It’s an April Fool’s Day joke that tricked an algorithm fifteen years later. The mark of a good joke.
Before we get to the Actual Day it Rained Goals, though, we really need to catch up with our Scorigamis from cycles 30 to 39….
[Qazox 10 Assegai Developments 0, World Cup 31]
… I mean just look at the time! It’s ten past Assegai Developments!
Let’s move to World Cup 32 and, oh wow, Krytenia are looking to get in on the action. They’re 8-1 up at home to Commerce Heights. One more goal… just one more goal and they can make it 9-1 and that’d be a first Scorigami for the Krytenians
..Let’s watch this one live
[incredibly clever cut to stadium scene from ‘El Secreto De Sus Ojos’]
Ooh, so close to a first appearance for Krytenia. No prizes for Eight-One any more. It's official, Krytenia are worse than Clavis. We move on to Cycle 33
[Jeruselem 10 Colonie 1, World Cup 33]
<For the next bit, just do your part. I'll add in my bits. Or I'll just cut it if it doesn't work>
Mriin: Hey, Jeremy
Audio: ..er… yeah
Mriin: Knock knock
Audio: ..come in?
Mriin: No, do it properly
Audio: *audible sigh* who’s there?
Mriin: Colonie
Audio: Colonie who?
Mriin: Colonie one you want, nobody’ll help you now you’ve just been beat down by Jeruselem
<alternative take>
Colonie lose 10-1 to Jeruselem, but win their way into our hearts by getting a Scorigami.
[Comments about Errinundera 10 - Tolvarus 2, World Cup 35 AND Valanora 11 Keyne Island 0 - Done on the same day of World Cup 35]
Teninundera Two-lvarus is a wonderful result. I’d rate it as the second best Scorigami of that particular day.
Valanora, still known as Elves Security Forces back then, has the final say. Eleven Nil is the biggest margin of victory we’ve seen up to this point.
All four teams got their Scorigami on the same matchday. Do you like Double-Scorigami matchdays? Here’s another one. We return to World Cup 40 and “The Day it Rained Goals”
[pan over WC40 MD1 results]
Bazalonia’s 9-1 win is the Scorigami that Krytenia so desperately wanted, and comes at the expense of Kose and the Turkomans, who are either a terrible football team of a 70s funk band. Or, according to the pleasing mental image I just got, both.
The Algorithm insists Yafalonia and Bazor’s 22-1 win over Lethislavania is a Scorigami. At least it used to before a long evening rooting out the problems caused by teams named Snub Nose 38, Stalag 5 and Yafor 2. Not to mention the havoc created by Dance 2 Revolution. Yafalonia and Bazor 2: Two. Lethilavania: One. Nationstates: One, Algorithm: Nil.
Milchama join Vilita in having attained Scorigamis on both the winning and losing side. Like Vilita, they don’t seem to believe a record win earns a mention, but their incredible form has everyone else talking.
A fantastic day of football includes results that are pleasing yet inconsequential to our quest. Sorthern Northland winning 5-1 away, 7-4 for Commerce Heights, although this comes after nation is split into two. Squornshelous EIght, Diojoi Two would have been a Scorigami before the 20s swallowed up the 8s column.
The Day it Rained Goals: A fitting way to end Part Two of our series on World Cup Scorigami.
[shots of the final ‘reveal’ scene from The Usual Suspects interspersed with a zoom of the date of WC40 MD1: April 1st 2008]
by Bears Armed » Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:03 am
Bears Armed vs. Ethane
Venue: Wimbley Stadium
Score: 0-2.
Goals
Bears Armed (0): (none)
Ethane: ???? (#??) @ 52’ (assist: ???? [#??]); NAME (#????) [#??] @ 89’ (assist: ???? [#??]).
Red Cards
(none)
Substitutions due to Injury
(none)
by Squornshelan Remnant States » Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:12 am
GK: Stovar Krieven, Argis Ekewakan
LB: Djabgor Dzarkhin, Danin Geladi
RB: Jinkzta Ulcviecel, Jaylene Kazarov
CB: Tervi Oleb, Rudi Dalso, Skumantas Nakhutin, Terun Cadash
LM: Aatu Ruoho, Jzeovak Vladcik
RM: Vrenz Tambura, Meaza Teklu
CM: Iuri Takala, Arlo Damot, Isperia Marrish
ST: Zoban Ajao, Demkjo Jzvanic, Viordar Rebljeten, Kambiz Avagyan
Help us, Maggie, I think we've done something to anger you
It's matchday six and we really shouldn't be in tenth
I don't know if you're amused, but our team is being abused
Oh, Maggie, please don't let us lose, again
Now we've even lost at home, can't get by on draws alone
We're a Pot 3 team, and that's what really hurts
Our first callups, when they hit the field really didn't work
And it worries me now that everyone thinks Donnell's a jerk
She'll probably get the sack, if the top two we can't crack
Oh, Maggie, we really need to try some more
We even drew with Mustardy, can't believe we conceded three
This team just sucks, and that's a pain I can do without
All we needed were some wins to get us on our feet
But South Covello was a mother, and then Qasden was another they just wore us out
Now our qualifying hopes seem dead, and it's driving me outta my head
Oh, Maggie, I just can't try anymore
Rubber chickens are in short supply, we're fresh out and I don't know why
You stole my hope, couldn't find it though I've tried.
I suppose we could all grab sticks and join those hockey fools
Or sign up for the IBC and learn to shoot some hoops.
We could start ourselves a racing team, join the World Bowl or the WBC
But Maggie I don't want all that, can't you see?
You're ruining our KPB
Headed for the Cup of Harmony
You broke my heart, but I love this anyway
Maggie, please help us in this qualifying race
We'll get back in one of these days
MD1: SRS 0-0 Flavovespia @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 38,600), Syneca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD2: Mustardy 3-3 SRS @ Johann Speck Nationalstadion (cap. 8,923), Héronne, Mustardy
MD3: SRS 3-3 Vakolicci Haven and Celeria @ Pheldagriff Stadium (cap. 45,620), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD4: South Covello 2-1 SRS @ Revolution Stadium, (cap. 42,000), Riverview, SCO
MD5: SRS 0-1 Qasden @ Flanoil Arena (cap. 50,350), Traal, East Flania, SRS
MD6: Filindostan v SRS @ Filindostan National Stadium (cap. 70,000), San Marco, Kabishawan, FID
MD7: SRS v Furby Island @ Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS
MD8: Bliuji v SRS @ TBA
MD9: BYE
MD10: SRS v Ziwana @ Emerald Coast Colosseum (cap. 31,200), Vassilian, Algolia, SRS
MD11: Mitra and Soma v SRS @ TBA
MD12: Flavovespia v SRS @ TBA
MD13: SRS v Mustardy @ Overburg Arena (cap. 46,222), Damogran, Algolia, SRS
MD14: Vakolicci Haven and Celeria v SRS @ TBA
MD15: SRS v South Covello @ Raftel Park (cap. 59,870), Chalesm, Megabrantis, SRS
MD16: Qasden v SRS @ Stade de Solis (cap.70,500), Fyre QAS
MD17: SRS v Filindostan @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD18: Furby Island v SRS @ TBA
MD19: SRS v Bliuji @ Chernov Stadium (cap. 57,600), Viltvodle, Megabrantis, SRS
MD20: BYE
MD21: Ziwana v SRS Izula National Stadium (cap. 55,750)
MD22: SRS v Mitra and Soma @ Henkmar Field (cap. 29,850), Brasta, Sivolvia, SRS
2 - Bedesnjak
1 - Erseburg
1 - Hocij
1 - Petrov
1 - Ruoho
1 - Stolp
0 - Way too many assholes
by Ko-oren » Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:35 am
by TJUN-ia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:46 am
by HUElavia » Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:47 am
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