TITLE:
Travel Class Warfare
VALIDITY:
Nation has not banned airplanes. Has instituted socialism.
DESCRIPTION:
The news is abuzz following a leaked video from the country’s nationalized airlines. Evidently a government official flying in First class was caught making loud unsavory comments regarding the supposed poverty and personal hygiene of the Economy passengers. With many outraged by the classist rhetoric, there is an increasing debate on whether the state should allow airline travel classes at all.
OPTION ONE
“It is an absolute disgrace to the socialist ideals of @@NATION@@” states hotheaded ideologue and muscled coal miner @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Having our fellow @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ divided in such a manner, even if only for air travel, naturally invites this sort of dehumanization we fought so hard against in the Revolution. Sure, it starts with petty insults today – but it will only escalate from here. @@LEADER@@, fire this lecherous official and tear down the walls of oppression. Unite our airlines into a single people’s traveling class!”
Outcome: Flight attendants rip down class dividing curtains with revolutionary fervor
OPTION TWO
“Come on, it was a JOKE” stammers @@RANDOMNAME@@, the official responsible for the comment. “I never would have said anything if I knew these people couldn’t take a little banter. For Violet’s sake, someone threw a shrimp tray at me on my way here! Cocktail sauce and all! I work hard and mostly pay my taxes just like everyone else, I’m no class traitor. If these people want to feel some more equity in the air, they can save their @@CURRENCY@@s for a better ticket – just like the rest of us hard workers! Less complaining, more working – that sounds like a socialist ideal too if you ask me!
Outcomes: Some workers are more equal than others when it comes to air travel.
OPTION THREE
“Perhaps a compromise is in order” chimes in your Minister of Air Travel @@RANDOMNAME@@, looking over some documents on their clipboard. “Completely restructuring our airline system to a single travel class would be prohibitively expensive with little practical benefit. But the class divisions we have now do seem counter to our central planning objectives. I would suggest introducing a raffle system. Make all ticket prices a flat fee, and simply assign the seating at random. That way we maintain the spirit of equality and fairness, without any major new expenses. Sure, some people will still be flying high while the rest are cramped together – but at least now there’s no one to point fingers at.”
Outcome: The humble worker can tempt fate for a taste of airline caviar.
OPTION FOUR
“Why are we even listening to these rabbles again?” asks grizzled war hero and military general @@RANDOMNAME@@. “They keep talking this and that about the ‘Revolution’ and what have you. Well, I was there and I can tell ya that’s all in the past. History book stuff. These folks think they can just start complaining whenever something hurts their little feelings? Just give me the word,@@LEADER@@, and I’ll have these counter-revolutionaries sorted out by the morning. We’re in charge now – that’s all they need to worry about”.
Outcome: Even minor protests are put out with heavy gunfire.
