tmemail (TQ Q&A)

[Tornado Queendom]

Tornado Molly has set up a Sbemail-style Q&A, where you can ask questions and Tornado Molly will try to answer them. If you ask a good question, Tornado Molly will most likely answer. If you send things that Tornado Molly is not interested in or that can be easily answered by finding them in the factbook, she will DELETE the emails.

Here's an example

Dear Tornado Molly,

Where do you live?

-Anonymous

[Rleesrikhani]

Dear Tornado Molly,

Why did you call me a disgusting eater?!

-Mario von Haksburg

[Tornado Queendom]

Alright, here we go...

Dear Tornado Molly,
Why did you call me a disgusting eater?!
-Mario von Haksburg

Oh, yes. Our first one, and it's from someone who may as well do the "ree" thing.
Dear Mario von Haksburg,
OK, I'll answer you.
It's a reference to Trump, who called John Kasich a Disgusting Eater.
I think you need to quit eating like a slob, and respect our rights to make mistakes.
Signed,
Tornado Molly
Keep sending me your questions, and I will answer them.

[Victorious Decepticons]

Dear Tornado Molly,

It looks like you could use an upgrade or 300! How would you like to apply for citizenship in Victorious Decepticons? All you have to do is show that you have the spirit of a Decepticon (there are three rounds of psych tests and a code-read) and pledge all loyalties to Leader Megatron and the Decepticon Nation and People. Oh, and survive for 3 months on Cybertron, prior to upgrade. This may be a bit difficult for you given your current immobile state, but you're probably small enough that nobody will notice you, let alone bother to send you to a foundry. Your biggest worry would be getting stepped on.

Anyway, once you pass all of the tests, you'll get a cool Decepticon body, with which you can pick up humans in one hand, and at least 1,000,000x the processing power of the body shown in your portrait there. You will also gain the attention of many computer scientists, who will wonder how you managed to get a running sapience into such a piece of equipment as your current body, and you'll be able to parlay that into plenty of money for interviews, code snippets, and the like.

Feel free to attempt to obtain the Ultimate Upgrade at our offices, assuming you are in line enough with the Decepticon Way and our form of government and society that we can be sure that we won't accidentally be upgrading an enemy.

~Immigration Division
~Victorious Decepticons

[Tornado Queendom]

Initiating email check in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Dear Tornado Molly,
It looks like you could use an upgrade or 300! How would you like to apply for citizenship in Victorious Decepticons? All you have to do is show that you have the spirit of a Decepticon (there are three rounds of psych tests and a code-read) and pledge all loyalties to Leader Megatron and the Decepticon Nation and People. Oh, and survive for 3 months on Cybertron, prior to upgrade. This may be a bit difficult for you given your current immobile state, but you're probably small enough that nobody will notice you, let alone bother to send you to a foundry. Your biggest worry would be getting stepped on.
Anyway, once you pass all of the tests, you'll get a cool Decepticon body, with which you can pick up humans in one hand, and at least 1,000,000x the processing power of the body shown in your portrait there. You will also gain the attention of many computer scientists, who will wonder how you managed to get a running sapience into such a piece of equipment as your current body, and you'll be able to parlay that into plenty of money for interviews, code snippets, and the like.
Feel free to attempt to obtain the Ultimate Upgrade at our offices, assuming you are in line enough with the Decepticon Way and our form of government and society that we can be sure that we won't accidentally be upgrading an enemy.
~Immigration Division
~Victorious Decepticons

Dear Decepticons,
I'd Like to join. However, I don't want to lose my Tornadic body. I'll be a dual-citizen, OK. Also, I'll be part-decepticon.
-Tornado Molly

[Viva La Rebel Academy]

Dear Tornado Molly,

As a prestigious student from the other side of the world, despite being a conflicted state thinker to a degree, I have a 4-year premium scholarship, no money down plan to become a logistics expert, so I have a question. Is there a school (hopefully private) that I can one day use my scholarship to gain entry and be successful? It's perfectly okay if you have to say no. I'm very generous and been doing well in exams. My university education doesn't start until the spring because I'm on the other hemisphere.

Best regards,

- Sabina Rosenzweig, Graduated High School Student, 18

[Tornado Queendom]

*at the N-Day Bunker*
Brace yourselves, email is coming.

Dear Tornado Molly,

As a prestigious student from the other side of the world, despite being a conflicted state thinker to a degree, I have a 4-year premium scholarship, no money down plan to become a logistics expert, so I have a question. Is there a school (hopefully private) that I can one day use my scholarship to gain entry and be successful? It's perfectly okay if you have to say no. I'm very generous and been doing well in exams. My university education doesn't start until the spring because I'm on the other hemisphere.

Best regards,

- Sabina Rosenzweig, Graduated High School Student, 18

Dear Sabina,
College is starting to get really strange. I recommend one without Gender Studies, or any other leftist indoctrination courses. Besides, those courses are useless in everyday life. Also, watch out for nukes.
Signed,
Tornado Molly.

Until next time, keep sending me your questions, and I will nuke you. I mean answer them.

[Victorious Decepticons]

Dear Decepticons,
I'd Like to join. However, I don't want to lose my Tornadic body. I'll be a dual-citizen, OK. Also, I'll be part-decepticon.
-Tornado Molly

To: Tornado Molly

We regret to inform you that we do not offer dual citizenship. All Decepticons must be citizens of, and loyal to, Victorious Decepticons only. Also, the upgrade to a proper body is a hard requirement for immigration. We are a nation of the Strong, and anyone in a weaker body is going to either get enslaved or simply crushed underfoot for the lulz.

A non-mobile body has no use as a Decepticon soldier, can't do any oil raids, and basically would be stuck being a game deck for a proper Decepticon (if not crushed, as mentioned above). As a game deck, you would be a piece of property, and even worse, would be loaded up with games that are illicitly obtained - and therefore, likely full of viruses. We use external computers for those so WE don't end up getting hacked. We certainly wouldn't advise a sapient computer to put itself into the position of being the guinea pig for whatever someone just downloaded off of the Decepticon Bay.

Still, we are happy that you have shown some interest in joining our mighty Empire. Hopefully we can work out some sort of diplomatic arrangement in the future as a form of international friendliness.

~Immigration Division
~Victorious Decepticons

[-Astoria]

From: jamesbarry@yesmail.aa
Out of interest, what's your opinion of Astoria?

[Tornado Queendom]

Ready, set, eMail.

Dear Decepticons,
I'd Like to join. However, I don't want to lose my Tornadic body. I'll be a dual-citizen, OK. Also, I'll be part-decepticon.
-Tornado Molly

To: Tornado Molly

We regret to inform you that we do not offer dual citizenship. All Decepticons must be citizens of, and loyal to, Victorious Decepticons only. Also, the upgrade to a proper body is a hard requirement for immigration. We are a nation of the Strong, and anyone in a weaker body is going to either get enslaved or simply crushed underfoot for the lulz.

A non-mobile body has no use as a Decepticon soldier, can't do any oil raids, and basically would be stuck being a game deck for a proper Decepticon (if not crushed, as mentioned above). As a game deck, you would be a piece of property, and even worse, would be loaded up with games that are illicitly obtained - and therefore, likely full of viruses. We use external computers for those so WE don't end up getting hacked. We certainly wouldn't advise a sapient computer to put itself into the position of being the guinea pig for whatever someone just downloaded off of the Decepticon Bay.

Still, we are happy that you have shown some interest in joining our mighty Empire. Hopefully we can work out some sort of diplomatic arrangement in the future as a form of international friendliness.

~Immigration Division
~Victorious Decepticons

We're not humans in the traditional sense, we are basically Tornado girls. We can become allies, so that we can defend eachother. Maybe you can join the APA?

From: jamesbarry@yesmail.aa
Out of interest, what's your opinion of Astoria?

I don't feel like answering, and I don't know your politics. For now, deleted.

DELETED!
This has been Tornado Molly eMail. Tune in next time, where I hopefully don't delete an email.

[Communist Captain Crunch]

Dear Tornado Molly,

This is an encoded message written in secret ink that is only visible under UV light.
Ok, actually it's just an email.
Anyways, assuming that your Tornado-Esque bodies are capable of caloric consumption, known as "eating and digesting food", would you prefer peanut butter, brown sugar, or fruity flavored cold cereal?

Thank you for your time,
Commissar Crunch

[Tornado Queendom]

Time to check the eMail!

Dear Tornado Molly,

This is an encoded message written in secret ink that is only visible under UV light.
Ok, actually it's just an email.
Anyways, assuming that your Tornado-Esque bodies are capable of caloric consumption, known as "eating and digesting food", would you prefer peanut butter, brown sugar, or fruity flavored cold cereal?

Thank you for your time,
Commissar Crunch

I don't eat sweets, but out of these, I'd pick the Peanut Butter. The other two are not good for Tornado Girls.

Until next time, keep sending me your questions, and I will mock you. I mean answer them.