Draft 2
Current draft
[TITLE] What Are You Hiding In Your Genes?
[VALIDITY] Invalid for nations that have banned internet
[DESCRIPTION] With the commercial DNA tests from My23AncestralHeritages becoming increasingly popular across the globe, many of @@NAME@@'s citizens have sent their precious saliva to complete strangers in a lab to find out their genetic ancestry. Yet when one day the President of Blackacre revealed in a series of indignant tweets that your Minister of Justice is related to one of your nation's most dangerous criminals - in yet another attempt to paint a black picture of your nation - severe doubts were raised over the integrity of the company providing these DNA tests.
[OPTION 1] "@@Leader@@, I assure you, I had no idea this criminal was my grandmother's brother's second wife's sister's son's grandchild!" the Minister of Justice sweats. "I mean sure, he seemed familiar when I granted him that request for a bigger cell, and the cellphone, and the plasma TV... but that's besides the point. The point here is that the privacy of millions of our citizens is in danger! Greedy companies like this one will sell sensitive information - like someone's DNA profile - to anyone who pays the right price, like those no-good slime-balls from Blackacre. For the good of our people - and my family's remaining secrets - you need to ban commercial DNA tests and demand that all existing material and data be destroyed!"
[EFFECT 1] couples caught kissing on the street are detained for 'unlawful exchange of sensitive genetic material'
[OPTION 2] "Now, now, @@LEADER@@, don't do anything too hasty," tuts @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, CEO of My23AncestralHeritages, as @@HE_1@@ strides into your office unannounced. "Apologies for the intrusion, one of your staffers was looking to make a quick profit and sold me your schedule," @@HE_1@@ chuckles. "But anyway, my company provides legitimate goods and services to legitimate customers, be they @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ or two men in black suits and dark sunglasses explicitly claiming not to be from Blackacre. Information is a commodity too, so why not sell it? Relax some of those draconian privacy laws of yours and give @@NAME@@'s economy a big boost by opening up the market for information brokers! After all, your citizens surely have nothing to hide..."
[EFFECT 2] citizens buy their more bothersome neighbors' DNA profiles to figure out what potentially fatal allergies they might have
[OPTION 3] "No, no, no, NO!" screeches Minister of Intelligence @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_2@@ '008' @@RANDOMLASTNAME_2@@, as @@HE_2@@ emerges from behind a curtain in your office, startling everyone. "@@LEADER@@, I've had enough of this! Everyone is learning everything about everyone and that's my job, for Violet's sake! Not only do you need to ban companies like My23AncestralHeritages, but you also need to drastically limit what information can be released to the public! Or do you want your enemies to know what's in your jeans-er, I mean, GENES?"
[EFFECT 3] citizens find their names on their ID's and passports redacted for matters of national security
[OPTION 4] @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_3@@ Palpatine leans over to you as the Minister of Intelligence is having @@HIS_2@@ fit. "You know, there is an opportunity here," @@HE_3@@ says in a low tone. "The amount of genetic data that company has is staggering. Think of what we could do if they partnered up with our brilliant scientists. Let me tell you, a clone army is exactly what we need! We'll take the best genetic samples, build an advanced cloning facility somewhere hidden and in complete secrecy create the Grand Army of @@NAME@@! We can even implant chips into the soldiers' brains containing a number of preset secret orders that only you can give," @@HE_3@@ suddenly smiles insidiously. "And me."
[EFFECT 4] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ get wary at any mention of 'order 66'
fixed it!
