Cancer solution act

[Whole India]

A bill on Cancer solution act was made illegal which i proposed so how it shuold please help.

[The New Bluestocking Homeland]

Here is your feedback according to member of GenSec Bears Armed:

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Illegal - Category arguably incorrect (as this seems to do more in the 'Moral Decency' line than for Healthcare); Proposals must be written as the laws they will become, not with lines like "IF THIS BILL IS ADOPTED"; Resolutions cannot command impossibilities (which "Vaccines must be found for cancer" might be). If you want to continue with this project then I suggest strongly that you take it to the GA forum for redrafting & feedback.

From that, I would deduce that you should use the OP of this thread to begin drafting your bill again and listen to feedback offered [mandatory "I-am-not-GenSec" disclaimer].

[The New Nordic Union]

OOC:
Hello and welcome to the World Assembly!

You have indeed found the right place to draft your proposal. Here are the GA rules for you to study and make your proposal legal; here are passed GA resolutions, for you to get a feeling about how a proposal should look and to make it good, not only legal.

Also, if you include your current draft in the first post, people can begin to give you advice right away.

Hope that helps.

[Kenmoria]

Cancer Solution Act

Category: Health

Area of Effect: Healthcare

Cancer a disease which is problem for years now time has came to take it out completely from its ROOT.
CLAUSE.
1] Increasing the research fund by at least 2% for healthcare and research.
2] Vaccines must be found for cancer.
3] banning the consumption to tobacco and cigarettes, alcohol.
4] banning the production of tobacco and cigarettes, alcohol.
5] if any company making cigarettes or tobacco or alcohol. then that company will pay heavy fine and will produce medicines.
6] a coastal guard will be set in each country to prevent smuggling of tobacco and cigarettes, alcohol.
7] a regular health check will happen of every citizen monthly to find who is consuming tobacco and cigarettes, alcohol.
8] the people consuming will pay a heavy fine.
9] a good diet will be provoked in each part of country to prevent cancer.
10] each citizen will be made compulsory to attend the health check.
11] new companies will be opened for creating vaccines.
12] bars giving tobacco, cigarette and alcohol will pay heavy fine.
13] if any company or bar still makes or distributes tobacco, alcohol,cigarette then that company will be banned.
14] the owner of company or bar will be taken in custody and he will be given punishment according the nations constitution.
IF THIS BILL IS ADOPTED.
1] unemployment rates will decrease.
2] crime will also be decreased.
3] cancer levels of death will decrease.
4] many people will live longer.
5] the taxes which the nation used to get will decline but according to clause 5 and clause 8 the fines will give more income to the government.
6] no body will consume tobacco, cigarette, alcohol.
7] a healthy nation and free from cancer nation it will be.

(OOC: There is your draft. I recommend putting it in the OP (opening post), so that other players can easily find it. There were, unfortunately, a few reasons for illegality that Bears Armed spotted. The first is quite easy to fix: the category should be moral decency, as you are imposing restrictions on what people can do, which is a more significant part of your proposal than boosting funding.

Another relatively easy fix is for you to write this as a law rather than a proposal. A real-world law wouldn’t have lines like ‘if this bill is adopted’. In fact, that entire section doesn’t really need to be there. I recommend having a look at some passed proposals to get a clearer idea on the format. Lastly, vaccines being found for cancer is a very strong mandate that is almost impossible, due to the variety of different cancers that can be found, so try weakening that slightly.

However, making the draft legal does not by itself make the proposal ready for submission. A player in the illegal proposal threat pointed out that this is quite hard to read, so I recommend going through it with a grammar checker. Likewise, it is a good idea to let the draft stew here for a while, so that others can give feedback. In the future, you can find the GA rules here.)

[Whole India]

[quote][/quote]
'if this bill is adopted' it means that if it is enacted the changes to the nation will be. Begin a decider of legal or not dose't give you the whole authority. The format , the drafting style, moral decency etc. the main aim is the content of the bill not your trash. Your unrefined knowledge proves how much unsophisticated you are indeed. the people who are polished will not see the format but the content.I feel ashamed of begin under such morons. I demand a response from all.

[Grays Harbor]

'if this bill is adopted' it means that if it is enacted the changes to the nation will be. Begin a decider of legal or not dose't give you the whole authority. The format , the drafting style, moral decency etc. the main aim is the content of the bill not your trash. Your unrefined knowledge proves how much unsophisticated you are indeed. the people who are polished will not see the format but the content.I feel ashamed of begin under such morons. I demand a response from all.

Yeah, sorry, no. The rules here are there to be followed by everybody, and have been in place for quite some time now. You do not get to pick and choose which you want to follow and/or ignore.

[Wallenburg]

Part of writing World Assembly proposals is editing them to fix problems and listening to criticism. Calling players unsophisticated morons for evaluating the biggest problems with your proposal is not only against the rules, but also counterproductive to making your proposal feasible in any form.

[Marxist Germany]

'if this bill is adopted' it means that if it is enacted the changes to the nation will be. Begin a decider of legal or not dose't give you the whole authority. The format , the drafting style, moral decency etc. the main aim is the content of the bill not your trash. Your unrefined knowledge proves how much unsophisticated you are indeed. the people who are polished will not see the format but the content.I feel ashamed of begin under such morons. I demand a response from all.

OOC:The rules are there to ensure that proposals meet international law standards, formatting is indeed important. Categories are used to determine stat effects. Everyone here was being polite and gave you feedback nicely, what did you do instead? You flamed and ignored the feedback of people who have years of experience in the General Assembly, this attitude is unacceptable and may also bring modly wrath upon you. I suggest listening to others' criticisms and applying them otherwise you won't be going far in this field.

[Atlentina]

'if this bill is adopted' it means that if it is enacted the changes to the nation will be. Begin a decider of legal or not dose't give you the whole authority. The format , the drafting style, moral decency etc. the main aim is the content of the bill not your trash. Your unrefined knowledge proves how much unsophisticated you are indeed. the people who are polished will not see the format but the content.I feel ashamed of begin under such morons. I demand a response from all.

I've had this account for literally five hours and even I know the rules of the fourm and WA proposals.

And calling people unsophisticated and morons isn't going to help your case.

[Whole India]

You all support your dear GenSec as your their dogs. and when you talk about lawn its WA's nation so your GenSec 's lawn is rubbed i don't oppose WA, but indeed GenSec for sure it true and its damn true.

[Atlentina]

You all support your dear GenSec as your their dogs. and when you talk about lawn its WA's nation so your GenSec 's lawn is rubbed i don't oppose WA, but indeed GenSec for sure it true and its damn true.

Carry on digging a deeper hole, please.

[Wallenburg]

You all support your dear GenSec as your their dogs. and when you talk about lawn its WA's nation so your GenSec 's lawn is rubbed i don't oppose WA, but indeed GenSec for sure it true and its damn true.

My sig.

[Whole India]

Sure as GenSec i tell you all make it legal let it go to delegates and then voting and you might see the result different than you think.

[Separatist Peoples]

Sure as GenSec i tell you all make it legal let it go to delegates and then voting and you might see the result different than you think.

Not happening. We enforce the rules without any consideration of the policy. Obey the rules and you can submit. We do not make exceptions, and we will continue to remove illegal proposals from anybody who submits them. Even if the delegates like them.

Our job is not to be democratic.

[Grays Harbor]

Sure as GenSec i tell you all make it legal let it go to delegates and then voting and you might see the result different than you think.

Not happening. We enforce the rules without any consideration of the policy. Obey the rules and you can submit. We do not make exceptions, and we will continue to remove illegal proposals from anybody who submits them. Even if the delegates like them.

Our job is not to be democratic.

And to add:
It is your responsibility to “make it legal” by following the established rules and guidelines. Simple as that.

[Kenmoria]

Sure as GenSec i tell you all make it legal let it go to delegates and then voting and you might see the result different than you think.

(OOC: The point of Gensec is not to weed out proposals not likely to pass, but to remove proposals that violate the rules. Some illegal proposals have been mistakenly allowed to go to vote, and those are discarded as soon as it is over. I highly recommend for you to take feedback from the players here, and pay due consideration to the ruleset.)

[Frisbeeteria]

Begin a decider of legal or not dose't give you the whole authority.

Actually, it does. GenSec has the authority to deem proposals illegal based on content, format, and other aspects of the rules.

I feel ashamed of begin under such morons. I demand a response from all.

And now you can have a *** Warning for flaming ***. You don't get to call other players 'morons' regardless of your perceived conclusions.

Frisbeeteria, Senior Game Moderator

[Losthaven]

... Just submitted...

Cancer Solution Act 1
A resolution to restrict civil freedoms in the interest of moral decency.

Category: Moral Decency

Strength: Strong

Proposed by: Whole India

Cancer has been a problem for decades. Most of the population of each nation,region suffers from cancer.
1] Consumption of tobacco,alcohol,cigarette must be banned.
2] Production of tobacco,alcohol,cigarette must be banned.
3] The companies producing alcohol,cigarette, tobacco must be forces to make medicines.
4] A special coastal guard will be made to prevent the smuggling of alcohol and tobacco, cigarette.
5] A monthly health check will happen and those who found consuming tobacco, cigarette and alcohol will pay a heavy fine.
6] each citizen is compulsory to attend this health check.
7] bars will also be not allowed to distribute alcohol,cigarette,tobacco.
8]if any bar or company still produces or distributes alcohol, cigarette,tobacco then the owner of bar or company will pay a heavy fine and will be arrested and will be given punishment according to the national laws of the nation.
EFFECTS OF BILL.
1] CRIME RATES ON DECLINE.
2] LESS PEOPLE WILL DIE BECAUSE OF CANCER.
3] the government will get more income from taxes of medicines, fines.
4]the rates of cancer will decrease.
5] People will live longer.
6]Safety rates will increase.
7] human development index will rise.

Not sure how CRIME RATES ON DECLINE follows from a law which criminalizes a whole host of previously legal activities like selling alcohol, or what that has to do with a solution to cancer, but whatevs.

[Grays Harbor]

... Just submitted...

Cancer Solution Act 1
A resolution to restrict civil freedoms in the interest of moral decency.

Category: Moral Decency

Strength: Strong

Proposed by: Whole India

Cancer has been a problem for decades. Most of the population of each nation,region suffers from cancer.
1] Consumption of tobacco,alcohol,cigarette must be banned.
2] Production of tobacco,alcohol,cigarette must be banned.
3] The companies producing alcohol,cigarette, tobacco must be forces to make medicines.
4] A special coastal guard will be made to prevent the smuggling of alcohol and tobacco, cigarette.
5] A monthly health check will happen and those who found consuming tobacco, cigarette and alcohol will pay a heavy fine.
6] each citizen is compulsory to attend this health check.
7] bars will also be not allowed to distribute alcohol,cigarette,tobacco.
8]if any bar or company still produces or distributes alcohol, cigarette,tobacco then the owner of bar or company will pay a heavy fine and will be arrested and will be given punishment according to the national laws of the nation.
EFFECTS OF BILL.
1] CRIME RATES ON DECLINE.
2] LESS PEOPLE WILL DIE BECAUSE OF CANCER.
3] the government will get more income from taxes of medicines, fines.
4]the rates of cancer will decrease.
5] People will live longer.
6]Safety rates will increase.
7] human development index will rise.

Not sure how CRIME RATES ON DECLINE follows from a law which criminalizes a whole host of previously legal activities like selling alcohol, or what that has to do with a solution to cancer, but whatevs.

Nothing in there has the first thing to do with “curing cancer”.

[Kenmoria]

(OOC: The ‘effects of bill’ section seems as though it might be referring to NS statistics. Crimes rates and human development index in particular appear to be pertaining to the ranking system. ‘Most of the population of each nation, region’ also simply isn’t true, and could be about game regions rather than actual provinces.)

[The New California Republic]

Cancer Solution Act 1
A resolution to restrict civil freedoms in the interest of moral decency.

Category: Moral Decency

Strength: Strong

Proposed by: Whole India

Cancer has been a problem for decades. Most of the population of each nation,region suffers from cancer.
1] Consumption of tobacco,alcohol,cigarette must be banned.
2] Production of tobacco,alcohol,cigarette must be banned.
3] The companies producing alcohol,cigarette, tobacco must be forces to make medicines.
4] A special coastal guard will be made to prevent the smuggling of alcohol and tobacco, cigarette.
5] A monthly health check will happen and those who found consuming tobacco, cigarette and alcohol will pay a heavy fine.
6] each citizen is compulsory to attend this health check.
7] bars will also be not allowed to distribute alcohol,cigarette,tobacco.
8]if any bar or company still produces or distributes alcohol, cigarette,tobacco then the owner of bar or company will pay a heavy fine and will be arrested and will be given punishment according to the national laws of the nation.
EFFECTS OF BILL.
1] CRIME RATES ON DECLINE.
2] LESS PEOPLE WILL DIE BECAUSE OF CANCER.
3] the government will get more income from taxes of medicines, fines.
4]the rates of cancer will decrease.
5] People will live longer.
6]Safety rates will increase.
7] human development index will rise.

A load of non sequiturs in this draft. For instance, banning alcohol and tobacco will cause crime rates to skyrocket, not cause them to fall as you have claimed.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

OOC: Not to be a pain in the ass, but I don't actually see a category violation here. The resolution has nothing to do with curing cancer, of course, but total prohibition of alcohol and tobacco easily falls under Moral Decency (it would be that or Regulation/Safety - and the latter seems a bit weak, stats-wise, for this program). The only illegal thing I see here is a GAR #2 contradiction, because of the proposed "coast guard" - undeniably a WA police force.

You could make a case for a GAR #68 contradiction, I guess, but the clear implication is that these things cause cancer, and so constitute an "extreme hazard to national populations." We've allowed such implications to stand in the past.

TL;dr - only the Coast Guard makes this illegal IMO.

[Bananaistan]

"Who in their right mind would want to take medicine made by a tobacco manufacturer?

"You'll take my booze and fags out of my cold dead hands!"

OOC: Agreed with SL on legality.

[Kenmoria]

TL;dr - only the Coast Guard makes this illegal IMO.

(OOC: In apparent contrast to earlier posts by Whole India, the proposal has been improved from a legality perspective. It is still in dire need of further feedback, but at least some criticism has been heeded.)

[The New Nordic Union]

OOC: Not to be a pain in the ass, but I don't actually see a category violation here. The resolution has nothing to do with curing cancer, of course, but total prohibition of alcohol and tobacco easily falls under Moral Decency (it would be that or Regulation/Safety - and the latter seems a bit weak, stats-wise, for this program). The only illegal thing I see here is a GAR #2 contradiction, because of the proposed "coast guard" - undeniably a WA police force.

You could make a case for a GAR #68 contradiction, I guess, but the clear implication is that these things cause cancer, and so constitute an "extreme hazard to national populations." We've allowed such implications to stand in the past.

TL;dr - only the Coast Guard makes this illegal IMO.

OOC: Human Development Index is arguably a RL reference, I would say.