World Cup 83 - Roleplay Thread

[Busoga Islands]

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

A crucial point earned in Mattijana as the pressure starts to amp up on the Islanders


Players celebrate at the end of 90 minutes against Mattijana

MATTIJANA- The Busoga Islands, after the first half of World Cup Qualifying, found themselves in a stunning position- the unaccomplished 92nd ranked side found themselves second in their World Cup Qualification group, with the second straight cycle where they were able to earn points in Vilita against the #1 ranked side and the defending World Champions. This time, of course, they’re the two-time defending champions, aiming for greatness and a dynasty. And yet, the Busoga Islands found themselves in their weight class. Winning four of their first seven games, this national team has dramatically exceeded the expectations that were had for them by local fans and media, international fans and media, and stunningly find themselves in the conversation for a playoff spot, or even, a berth in the Finals? This would be the story of Qualifying, of course, but there are even lower ranked sides throwing their weight around among the big boys, with the Baptism of Fire champions Hapilopper, remarkably, winning 15 competitive matches in a row, winning a major WCC title on the way, and then capping the whole thing off with a stunning 3-0 win over the World Cup 80 champions, Brenecia.

Incredibly, however, there is an even more remarkable story, in Reçueçn. This is a side that has been untested for quite some time. Entering World Cup 72 and 73, they took a hiatus, and now, 10 cycles after their last appearance in WCC competition, they are back, trying to get to the Finals. And now, they find themselves right in the thick of the fight, in a 3 way tie(on points) for first place with Qasden and Kernovi & Rewgwlas, each with 13 points in their group. Of course, that group is basically a street fight- the gap between 2nd and third in our group is 5, while in that group, the gap between 1st and 5th is just four points, with Valladares having 9. That’ll be a photo finish, surely. But both, or either, even making the World Cup Qualification playoffs would be incredible. Those are probably the great underdog stories of the 83rd World Cup Qualification cycle, and the Busoga Islands, while a strong case, are not the underdog story of the cycle.

However, this story is still one worth watching. As has been chronicled here before, the Busoga Islands national team, since independence, has not accomplished much of anything. The national team has participated In a trio of regional champions, the AOCAF, and has never advanced past the group stage in any of them. This is their third World Cup Qualification campaign, and besides what has to be considered, at least up to this point, the greatest moment in national team history, their stunning 1-0 win against the defending world champions on their home turf, pretty much happened in a vacuum. The Busoga Islands didn’t matter in terms of international football, besides the occasional playing spoiler. The talent pool was too shallow, the nation too small, to do any kind of significant damage, or make a significant impact, at that level.

But then, in this World Cup Qualification cycle, something changed. What was it exactly? We’re not entirely sure. But suddenly, the Islander national team started doing some real damage, winning some actual games. Mattijana made the trip to the Busoga Islands, and were taken down by the multiverse’s 92nd ranked side, by a score of 3-1. The Busoga Islands, quite shockingly, were the better team in that one against the higher ranked opponent, and that was the kickstart to what is not only easily the national team’s best World Cup Qualification cycle to date, but the kickstart to something, at this point, is quite special and historic in terms of this country and its national team.

After that win against Mattijana, they went to Saintland and came away with a tough 1-0 win. Then, of course, in the friendly confines of Orange Field in Dukuma, they romped by a margin of 7-1 over Asida. This team was on a roll, winning their first three games. That begged the question, of course- were they just on a nice little run to start qualifying, or were they for real? They were tested first when they took that fateful trip to Jeruselem, the Pot 2 side in this group and another side that needs to do something, and fast, to catch up with the Busoga Islands. While they suffered their first (and only) loss of the campaign in Jeruselem, they were able to recover nicely, earning a 1-0 win and a clean sheet against Vartugia.

That set up the group’s two leaders, the Busoga Islands and the defending World Champions, for a massive matchup in Vilita. Of course, considering the history between these two sides, with an Islander win here in just the last World Cup Qualification cycle, and the fact that the two teams were level on points going into the match, meant that even the World Champions would have to take them seriously. That’s what this game is about, right? Earning respect? And in that one, where the Busoga Islands, considering the stakes and the opponent, could not be taken lightly, the national team rose to the challenge and performed. It didn’t matter that they were on the road. It didn’t matter that they were going up against the sport’s very definition of excellence, against the two-time defending and five time world champions Vilita. While Vilita dominated the possession, and some could say, had a better go at it on their home field, the teams split the spoils evenly, in a 2-2 draw.

What a draw that was, right? It was, at the end of the day, very well earned. Some clinical finishing in the first half from the Busoga Islands did the trick In that one, with Amitabh scoring twice, once on the counter and once from the penalty spot, as the Islanders earned a very important draw. But that’s the past, that’s in the first half of qualifying. What we’re here for, why you’re reading, is because of the point we earned in Mattijana. It was 2nd v. 3rd in this group, but there is presently a 5 point gap in the table between 2nd place Busoga Islands and 3rd place Mattijana. But a win for the hosts in this matchup would close that gap to just two, and bust this qualification group wide open.

Mattijana, with the full knowledge that they’d need a win to truly boost their World Cup Qualification prospects, came out guns a blazing. And Starfire was always going to be ready for this. After the match, she told us that the plan for the Busoga Islands was to park the bus for the first half an hour or so, conserving energy and, above all, preventing Mattijana from putting the ball in the back of the net. And park the bus they did. Mattijana were throwing all kinds of crosses in there, and they kept getting cleared by the strong Islander back line. And wouldn’t you know it- the Busoga Islands were one of 8 teams in the first half of qualifying to be in the top quintile of both goals scored and goals allowed, according to statistics from Spony Luq Television. But in the last 15 minutes of the first half, the park the bus strategy ended, and they, while playing defensively, began to counter. A brilliant through ball in the 35th minute to veteran striker Babaja saw him one on one with the goalkeeper. While he tried to chip the goalkeeper, Handanovic came out bravely and made a spectacular stop, keeping the scores level between the two opponents.

The teams went into halftime with the scores tied at 0-0. And as they came out of halftime, Mattijana would continue to try and take the game to their visitors. However, the hosts had to be wary of the counter-attack, as the Busoga Islands showed that they can come back devastatingly down the field. However, Mattijana had their share of chances, and they were building up, dangerously. In the 75th minute of this 0-0 game, the Busoga Islands could not hold out any longer. A slashing diagonal run by Matthias Hoffman caught the player man marking him, Channeh Jarju, falling asleep at the wheel, and saw him get behind the defense with a perfectly timed run. He got the ball with the goalkeeper bearing down on him, but he quickly controlled it and beautifully chipped it over the head of al-Shareef and into the back of the net. With just 15 minutes remaining, the score was 1-0 to the hosts.

The crowd was going. The tide was turning against the Islanders. What were they going to do? Starfire was going to make a switch- she was going to all out to get this point. Kolley made his way off the pitch, leaving just 3 in the back. In his place, the 18 year old, Sarika Birla, would come in at the top of the formation, as they played 3 up top. Make no mistake about it- Starfire is going to do everything in her power and try to qualify for World Cup 83. But why Birla, who would be earning her first cap on this night? What a remarkable journey for her to get to this point, to even be playing in a match of this magnitude. It was her first appearance of the World Cup Qualifying campaign. But how did the 18 year old, who played in the Youth League, even get a chance here for the national team in the first place? Starfire told us that she absolutely deserved the chance. “She has had a great time training with the national team, and has put in a lot of great work. Many young players can be hot-headed, but she’s mature far beyond her years. She has tireless work ethic, and in the past few weeks, specifically, she has had quite an exceptional run of practices. She’s in form, she brings a different dynamic to the team, and at the moment, I thought bringing somebody like her on, we can adjust the style of game we play a little bit, and with somebody who our opponents don’t have much of a scouting report on.”

Tactical flexibility. But the Busoga Islands knew the importance of this match, and the pressure was on. Mattijana packed it in deep, not attempting to counter, as the Busoga Islands tried a variety of ways to beat Handanovic. Balls crossed into the box. Long shots. Diagonal runs. You name it. But it would be the youngster who would create the goal. In the 89th minute, Birla received the ball on a long ball by the corner flag. She beat the defender on the dribble, and came in down the touchline, towards goal. When she got to the 18, she delivered a scorching cross that reached the head of Lakiska SC player Ibrahim Fatah. Fatah, who was on the back post, headed the ball into the back of the net and gave the Islanders the goal to get that much needed point in Mattijana.

Of course, they celebrated their draw. And now, they are up 5 points in the group, with their next game at home against Saintland. While the Islanders should win, Saintland are more than capable of giving the Islanders all kinds of fits on their home ground. And, let’s remember, it’s not as if the Busoga Islands thoroughly outplayed Saintland on their home ground. There isn’t much to choose between these two teams, and even though the venue is on the Busoga Islands now, and it’s a much smaller and more intimate place to play, Saintland is more than capable of tripping up the Busoga Islands. But here’s what needs to be said. With only so many games left, the importance of each game is going to be amplified down the stretch. Considering the Busoga Islands have never done anything like this before, the pressure is going to rise. More fans, of course, will fill the stadia, and we’ll have more traveling fans. But the media scrutiny will increase. They’ll get more focus from their opponents. Each road trip will be that much tougher.

What can the Islanders do? Well, of course, they can continue to make their home venues a fortress. We’ve won our 3 home games so far, beating Mattijana, Asdia, and Vartugia, respectively. They have a chance to continue the excellence they’ve had at home so far, by protecting home field advantage against Saintland. And, beyond that, take it a game at a time. The other thing that must be understood, is that the two-time defending world champions are in this group. Does anyone want to go into the last game of this campaign, against the two-time defending world champions, desperately needing points to move on? That would be a massive risk, a tall order. That’s why the Islanders need to work so hard, to make sure they don’t unnecessarily drop points against everyone else. There is already talk about moving the venue of that final match to a much larger local cricket stadium, to allow more people to attend. Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, though. The next opponent? Saintland. The objective? Earn all three points, and don’t settle for less. The path to the playoffs is there for the Busoga Islands- can we survive it?

[Xanneria]

Key Victory in New Location
By Steve Stevenson

EAST END,XCT A much needed victory happened for the Maroons at home. But as you may tell from the location there were some issue afoot before the start of the game. I massive water leak was discovered under the east side of the stadium forced the game vs Paratan to be moved to East End's Stadium. This was the first game at the EEUFCU William MacAnalley Stadium in which a foreign team had been hosted. The 44,000 seat Stadium has hosted many Omega Division Games but now can say an International team came to play there. A noticeable pro-Xannerian crowd showed up at the last second and filled the stadium with cheers and boos. Even before the stadium switch it was noted by ticket sellers that Paratan fans had only pruchased at most a few hundred tickets to the game. But Paratan did their best to put up a fight.

The game got off to a good start for the visitors, by the end of just half an hour of play the game had been a tie. But unlike the last game versus Paratan they had an hour left to play. Paratan's mid fielders particullarly did well in the front half, with both midfielders getting goals, on the other side the forwards for the Maroons were getting the job done dancing around the Paratan lines like they were in some weird footballing ballet. The normally straight forward Richard Presentino had a spectacular dodge and weave move he put on a Paratan defender, this directly lead to him getting an assist on a goal by Glenn Hailey. Hailey got an assist himself when he gave lil brother Mark a kick and Mark headed the ball into the goal to make it 2-2. But it was the last two thirds where the Maroons shone. the Hailey brother lead a once again aggressive attack that maximized the slow front line of the Paratan team. Henry Clayton-Thorn A backup who was put in after an ankle sprain took out Marques Trenton, got his first ever international goal in the 75th minute of the game. Clayton-Thorn plays for East Ends rival Capital FC and afterwards he told reporters it felt weird to be cheered by fans in this stadium. After a shaky first third of the game, goalie Evan Jefferson did well and blocked every shot that came his way, but with how much possession Xanneria had versus Paratan it was minimal. This brings the Maroons back into the fight, with 10 points in qualifiers the Maroons now are 2 points off second place Juvencus, and are currently tied with next opponent Koyoland for fourth. This could be another great opportunity to jump teams in the standings.

EEUFCU William MacAnalley stadium, the stadium that made a pleasant emergency host stadium

With the aging leaky stadium in Dominica City, this problem has once again put fuel in the fire of the National Stadium debate. EEUFCU William MacAnally Stadium is one of the newest stadiums in Xanneria only opening as recently as 2026. The few Paratan fans I found had nothing but praise for the stadium, and frankly in my opinion, if it was a larger stadium it could have a candidacy for National stadium. But honestly the 40k capicity may be the only thing holding it back. But as for XanAir National only time will tell its fate.

XANNERIA - 4
G. Hailey (12'' 51")
M. Hailey (27")
Clayton-Thorn (75")

PARATAN - 2
MF ??? (9")
MF ??? (19")

[The Sarian]

The Cappuccino Catch-up

Sport and Culture: Treble Sixes for Sari Competitors

Six seems to be the number of the day for Saris competing abroad as the national football team climbed to sixth in the World Cup Qualifying table, whilst the WorldVision and World Hit Festival entrants all finished sixth.

In the football, the team pulled off a shock victory away against Kelssek in a game that came alive in the final ten minutes. After an early goal by Kelssek's Brayden Custworth, the game looked set to an in a quiet 1-0 victory for the hosts. However, three goals in seven minutes launched New Saria into a shock lead. Isabelle Stanway kicked off the scoring with a placed shot from 25 yards, which snuck into the bottom left-hand corner in the eighty-first minute. Stanway was involved in the second goal just two minutes late, setting a wonderful pass over the high defensive line to gift Lucy Pieterson a simple tap past Kai Poirier. Pieterson grabbed a second after Freya Hawking was brought down in the box, hitting in a rebound after Poirier punched away the initial penalty. Blake McDonagh got one back for Kelssek in the third minute of stoppage time, but New Saria held on for just their second victory of the qualifying campaign.

By contrast, both musical contestants face last minute heartbreaks to slip off a podium finish in the closing moments. With an impassioned song about climate change, Borderline were the first Sari contestants in WorldVision since Harriet Engels finished fifth in WorldVision 50. After picking up points from nine out of fifteen acts, Bordeline were a comfortable third at the halfway stage. However, Borderline received just twenty-three points from the remaining nations leaving them just outside the top five.

Similarly, Klaudia fell agonisingly short in the World Hit Festival with an orchestral entry about the death of her husband. Picking up little points often, Klaudia finished stage one of the voting in third - just three points behind leaders Besen. However, in stage two fellow orchestral entry, Llata shone brightest to pick up the victory whilst Klaudia fell to a sixth place finish.

Who's who? The 43 candidates running for President in 100 words*:
*ish

Part Two of Four

Simon Crenshaw (One Nation)
After coming third five years ago, Simon Crenshaw - a Member of the Legislative Assembly and former Knighton City Mayor - once again won the One Nation Presidential nomination. Continuing the move toward social conservatism that has personified the party in recent years, Crenshaw proposes tax credits to encourage marriage, an expansion of civic service and greater controls on the rights of migrants to claim benefits. Crenshaw has argued that his executive experience means he is best qualified for the office, but a well publicised affair continues to attract claims of hypocrisy. Our tracker has him on 8.7%.

Radhika Dave (Hindu Grand Assembly)
Despite doing well at a local level, the Hindu Grand Assembly have yet to make an impact on Union Politics. Radhika Dave is the Chief Executive of the Troon Ward Council, the party's first female leader and the party's first female Presidential candidate. Stating that she hopes she can kickstart the party's breakthrough by reaching the second round, Dave has called for the lifting of bans of religious schools, an audit of racial discrepancies in sentencing and to reverse the ban on fireworks during religious and cultural festivals in a hope that her party can also appeal to non-Hindu voters.

Larry Elliott (Save Our Villages - No More Wind Farms)
Larry Elliott is a sixty-five year old divorcee living in the village of Lower Avon in Eastern Province. A Parish Councillor, he ran for district council as an independent but failed to be elected. Accusing successive governments of 'fighting a war on the countryside',Elliott has stated that a vote for him is to show the 'liberal, metropolitan elite that they can't simply ignore the genuine concerns of rural people anymore.'. To do this, Elliott is fighting a single issue campaign that he hopes can catalyse into a wider movement and hopes that his presence in the race will encourage the major parties to adopt an anti-Wind Farm platform to attract his further preference votes.

Jack Elmire (Justice for Men and Boys)
The well known Men's Rights Activist unsuccessfully sued to get onto the ballot paper in the last three Presidential elections, and fundraised heavily for the Henrikson versus the Union Election Board campaign. A divorcee, Elmire believes that the family justice system is 'biased' against men and fathers after he lost the custody battle for his then five year old son Jackson. The release of sealed court documents revealed Elmire had a history of heavy drug use, which contributed to the decision. He vows to end this bias, expand paternity leave and opposes transgender rights. Our poll tracker has him on 0.1%.

Suzette Evans (Mothers United!)
A popular poster on the website Mother's United, Suzette Evans is a surprise candidate for President. Though she has made a few media appearances on morning talk shows, Evans achieved all the necessary signatures to make the ballot through the website. However, she has been the subject of controversy after controversial posts on the issue of race and LGBT+ rights have been found - including the use of slurs. Evans has vowed to decrease class size, give money to new mothers and ban the use of self-identification for trans* individuals.

Kia Marie Fallsop (Popular Movement)
Kia Marie Fallsop is a campaigner on behalf of her local hospital and the Presidential candidate for 'the Popular Movement', a party set-up by left wing intellectuals and former Left Unity MLA, Gertrude Snell. Fallsop has said that her candidacy will be a launch for the Popular Movement's Union Convention campaign next year, where they aim to field a full slate of 'ordinary people'. Her signature policies include a fifteen hour work week, a limit of just one term for all elected representatives and the re-nationalisation of 'essential industries'.

Michael Gorridge-Fortitude (National Liberation)
Another candidate of the far-right, Michael Gorridge-Fortitude (better known by the name Dave Smith, though ballot rules do not allow the use of a fake name) has been to prison on three occasions related to racially aggravated assault. Calling for 'patriot' to 'take to the streets', Gorridge-Fortitude has already come under fire during the campaign for anti-democratic sentiments in his speeches. His key policies include voluntary repatriation, reserved seats for whites in the National Convention and increased powers of stop-and-search for the police.

Henri Gould (Equality - The Rainbow Alliance)
Henri Gould has already made history as the first trans* candidate on a Sari Presidential ballot. A former campaigner for the National Liberal Coalition, Gould has a strong following on social media and hopes that her candidacy will ensure that the main parties put equality at the heart of their manifestos. Her platform pledges include greater legal protections for genderqueer individuals who have not transitioned, the legal requirement for all companies receiving government contracts to have a 50/50 board and ensuring all metro stations are disabled access.

Brendon Grant (Agrarian Alliance of Farmers and Labourers)
Brendon Grant leads the rump of the Farmer-Labourer Party, which formally elected many members to the Union Convention before folding into the Florican Party twenty-three years ago. Striking a similar populist tone to the Florican Party, Grant has vowed to increase the minimum wage, increase funding for rural hospitals and fight against any change in the voting system 'which would see rural voters eaten up by the big cities'. He is currently polling at less than 0.1%, according to our poll tracker.

Olivia Hawking (Communist Party of The Sarian)
After the fall-out of the Florican-Left Unity coalition, it looked like the Sari Communist Party were on course to once again break-through and be a top-tier feature of politics. However, a series of well publicised splits last year - which saw former Party Leader, Chris Wallington, form the Alliance for Green Socialism has hampered that rise and our tracker now has them on 4.1%, down from a high of over 20. Hawking looks to re-energise her campaign with pledges on more money for public services, free public transport and electoral reform.

Sarah Hoo (Green Party)
The candidate of the rump Green Party which refused to merge into the Alliance for Green Socialism, Hoo has tried to turn the tide after the party received just sixty-four votes in the Tukanville West by-election. Whilst still remaining a member of the Legislative Assembly - just one of two Green members of the Union Convention who didn't join the AGS - Hoo faces an uphill battle to get into the second round. 'Retail' policies designed to boost the poll rating, such as an increase in the minimum wage and raising of the personal allowance, have been attacked by some as the environmentalist party losing its soul.

The Cappuccino Catch-up is a daily service run by The Union newspaper, a liberal leaning paper which distributes across The Sarian. Costing just one imperia a month, the Catch-up provides short form stories straight to your inbox every morning. With exclusive content across politics, business and sport, the Cappuccino Catch-up is a must read for working professionals across the nation.

[Ko-oren]

The Numbers Game - by "Lunaro" Tsukida

Hey everyone, there is a lot to get through with some key qualification matches played, the halfway point passed and a lot of changed parameters. First of all, sorry for my absence, I was visiting some other matches, a few friends and family over the break, and I had work to do on my regular blog. Despite what it looks like, my blog is still my main source of income, though I'm loving the exposure I get through here. It seems my presence on this website is also well-received, and thank you for the insightful feedback. And less insightful feedback, I suppose.

First of all, we have had the first Eura vs Ko-oren game. Going into the match with a slight lead that could be erased through a Eura win on matchday seven, it was crucial that the Dragonflies hold on to a draw, away at the hostile (to us) Bastion Arena. Our track record against the blue and yellow hasn't been well. Then again, Ko-oren's footballing history has been one of many ups and downs, with a few more ups than downs, but not enough to offset the huge differences between the Dragonflies and more established, World Cup-winning nations. Eura is definitely in the latter category, a team that is always dangerous, sits on a mountain of history in their domestic system and boasts an atmosphere that is intimidating enough even if it weren't for the fact that they simply have a great team. So, the Dragonflies were in for a treat. The hyper-defensive system that has undergone slight changes from previous AOCAFs, CoHs and WCQs was tested like nothing before: finally, Ko-oren had a status to defend and a first place to keep. In times past, we'd always be the 2nd or 3rd placed underdogs trying to upset some pot 1 team and hoping for the best - even if we did come away with the draw, it meant nothing: the status quo was maintained and Ko-oren would go on to finish 2nd or 3rd. Anyway, those times have changed, even if it's just this once.

Visibly nervous, though well prepared and well drilled, the 5-3-2 took on the legendary challengers. It turned out that the Eurans were equally suspicious of our team, not underestimating us but also not overpowering us with the boatloads of individual talent they have over us. A system can be as strong as 11 individuals, as they say, and the Dragonflies' 'annoying' defence is pretty much just that. Eura were also not in the most offensive-looking formation with a 4-5-1, but they do play exactly the game that complements ours, with possession and speed galore. Ko-oren sat back, as always, just a little too far at times. I have stressed Theshendan's tendency to be horrible at long distance shots more than enough, and still the only chances we give away are the ones that give these incredibly gifted midfielders the chance to launch a long distance missile at our goal. Ko-oren, meanwhile, was lethal on the counterattack. They were few and far between, but the team as a collective knew exactly when there were too many Eurans up front and where the danger was. Longchambon was incredible, as he has been during all of this campaign, and set up Tsuchida a few times but with little consequence. Vaugrenard had one or two attempts from the edge of the box, striking fear in the hearts of the hosts by hitting the woodwork and generally being very, very, very close.

The Green and Blue did in fact open the score, a rare occasion where there were a lot of Ko-orenites in the box. Janoreirinthen moved onto the wing, uncovered as the defence mirrored Longchambon's every move. His colleague on the midfield hit the ball past Coles to Vaugrenard, who had acres of space to pick out which of his teammates would be most likely to score on Robert Griffin - it would be Longchambon himself. 1-0. It wouldn't take long, Ko-oren compressed onto their own half in order to get to halftime unscathed - but this didn't take into account the quickness of Townsend, making Brogley look like a clown and then doing exactly what Theshendan can't handle - a long shot, from enough distance to make it seem like even I could have cleared that shot. There was a lot more venom and velocity to that shot than the camera angle suggested, however, and all Theshendan could do was look on helplessly as the bar guided the ball into the goal.

In the second half, Tsuchida was left on the field long enough to score the 2-1, and with 23 minutes to go, it was far too long to hold on to a lead. There wasn't enough time on the clock for Eura to chase a win, especially with the mercurial (I used a thesaurus for this one, folks) counterattacks launched by Brogley and Dalton. Eura had to make sure that the Dragonflies couldn't score a third one, which would have surely put them in an impossible position. Bond did score the equaliser, unfortunately, but it was another piece of evidence against Theshendan's form. It looks like Juliasterinthen finally caught on and Munks should be defending the goal from here on out.

Over the very long pause, created by a bye followed by the mid-qualification break, Juliasterinthen evaluated his squad but as is characteristically our head coach, didn't change much going into the second half of qualifying. Ko-oren were atop the group so the 'never change a winning team'-adage holds true, and Juliasterinthen never needs much of an excuse to not change things around at all.

Let's be honest, as good as our current standings are (and to be honest they're quite a bit beyond what I pegged this team as), it isn't the untouchable defence it normally is. There has been some needless conceding. That said, coming out of the break against the ever-better Flavovespia and winning 1-0 away from home, and seeing Eura drop points against Torisakia... that's a good start. I will maintain that the current squad isn't above dropping points against Torisakia, Freeport and especially Dreamplanet, and I fully see one or two of them upsetting us - and I entirely see us giving up the group win to Eura on the very last matchday - but so far, so good.

From here on out, I would suggest playing Munks on goal. Our fullbacks are too good and too experienced to go without, so Dalton and Brogley are on the team. Brogley hasn't been flawless at all, but at this point Hergulauthen isn't up to this team's level. As far as centrebacks go (we have three of them, after all), there is a lot of talent to choose from and I absolutely cannot see why the slow but reliable trio of Benjamin, Lampshire and Van Schelven should be above criticism. I've come to the conclusion that Benjamin is far too similar to Lampshire to be useful, and I'm very interested in seeing Mizuno back on the team. Mizuno has been a starter in the past, at just 21 years of age, and he is a good positive force next to cynical Lampshire and tall-and-tough Van Schelven. If there is any defender on this roster capable of setting up an attack, a structured game and basically wasting time through possession (which is a valid way to waste time and does not involve being vulnerable in dropping back far too much), it's Mizuno.

In midfield, Yokota's work rate is out of this world and his tendency to sacrifice himself for his teammates is underrated. He runs more kilometres than any of his teammates, and more importantly, he can do so for the full 90 minutes. Yokota is alright. Longchambon is impossible to replace, given his form, his efficiency, and how often he can put his teammates in great positions (either through giving them the ball, or through stepping away from the action to let the rest have all the space. Longchambon does command attention from the opposition and having them lose 1-2 defenders on a guy that sometimes just isn't part of the attack, is quite funny). Janoreirinthen isn't to that level. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt for being a starter for the first time in his career... but Train and Magrath are better fits. Train is an incredible talent, with a work rate much like Yokota's, but with a far better grasp on defensive structure and he should help cover our bases once we're ahead 1-0 or so. Magrath is a box-to-box midfielder, can run like the wind, and carries the ball effortlessly.

In attack, I'm just not fond of any of our options. Noya is the better striker, but not the best fit in this team. Tsuchida hasn't converted nearly enough chances to be a positive force, Vaugrenard is alright, effective, but unhealthy and needs to be substituted by the 50th-60th minute, and Olio isn't ready to play. I like Juliasterinthen's commitment to youngsters, and Olio definitely deserves a call-up at some point, but I feel like I need to showcase some players that could help this team more than some of the guys currently on the roster. Stay tuned.

[Polkopia]

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 (Part 1) • Chapter 4 (Part 2) • Chapter 5 (Part 1) • Chapter 5 (Part 2) • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 • Chapter 8 • Chapter 9 (1) (2) (3) (4)

The following passages are taken directly from Polkopian author, Yakub Orvin's novel, Pelyučidnost', in which he describes the novel as a sort of a revitalization of the "golden age" of Polkopian literature dating back to the 18th century. By releasing the novel to the public, Orvin hopes to grow his international fanbase, as well as showcase the "hidden treasure" of Polkopian literature to the multiverse.

---

10. Amaraas

It was early in the morning when Amaraas awoke from his slumber and he felt a great pain on his back. Rubbing his eyes, Amaraas came to his senses, grimacing as he sat up and using his free hand to grasp his lower back. The air smelled foul as if barrels and barrels of tainted ale was left out in the sun to spoil and then spilled all around the room. Men and women’s bodies lay about the room in no set pattern, most of them fast asleep and holding their naked bodies close to another of the opposite sex in a choir of shameless embraces. Amaraas’s head was pounding and his lips were so dry it was a wonder that his tongue wasn’t sliced open with every lick of his lips. Amaraas grabbed the nearest glass he could find which was conveniently situated on the table adjacent to the couch he sat on and felt the bitter alcohol push past his lips and down his throat and he sighed. Sitting up, Amaraas snatched his coat from the woman who shared the couch with him last night, who was beginning to stir herself, but Amaraas paid no attention as he collected the rest of his clothes from the area and dressed himself before walking outside in the gardens. The sun had only just broken the threshold of rising and was slowly making its way up the picturesque sky while Amaraas walked toward the guest building situated on the other side of the garden but Amaraas’s drunken steps elongated the normally short journey to the building and he nearly fell inside the doorway, and would have too if he hadn’t caught the walls of the archway which hung above. He took a moment to balance himself before using the walls to guide him on his journey to his bed chambers.

In his chambers, he saw his wife’s body lay covered in silken sheets and a warm woolen quilt atop the bed, breathing at a normal pace, but Amaraas paid no attention and stumbled over to his bed, flopping himself on top of it once he reached his intended destination. He scrambled to undress himself once more, throwing the clothes on the floor beneath him and snatched the covers from underneath himself and buried himself in them. He heard his wife’s loud breathing stop and the sound of whimpering in its place. Amaraas grabbed one of the pillows and put it atop his head to muffle the noise but soon couldn’t bear it.

“Oh, woman, cease those insufferable cries! I have had a beast of a day and cannot find it in myself to sleep when a woman’s helpless cries are sounded in my ear so vividly that I shall lay awake for all of eternity while the memory of its sound is buried inside of my head!” Amaraas snapped.

Giovanna’s crying stopped and Amaraas fell in and out of sleep, tossing and turning about his bed and a thin layer of sweat formed along every inch of his skin from the stuffy air inside of the room. Amaraas screamed in frustration and threw the covers off of his body and lay in his undergarments, panting, his chest rapidly rising and falling. Before long he allowed himself to relax, just a bit, letting his eyes wander across the painting along the ceiling which depicted a sort of deity springing from beneath the waves of a stormy sea and driving a spear through a mighty fish. His thoughts turned to Nogti folklore from which this painting was derived. The story went that the God of the Sea, Xaavkhak was called to save his mortal son after him and his crew had been lost at sea for months and had nearly fallen victim to the great Na’arquill who roamed the high seas in search for its next victim. Although the details of the story were not as clear at the moment as they normally were to him, Amaraas knew that eventually Xaavkhak and Na’arquill engaged in battle and it ended with the beast being impaled by the powerful golden spear of Xaavkhak.

The painting seemed to dance along the ceiling as Amaraas let his eyes wander and he laughed to himself, but golden rays of sunlight began to enter the chamber through the room’s only window and Amaraas groaned, rubbing his eyes with his hand. He opened his eyes once more and the blinding light seemed to target his pupils directly and he adjusted himself, looking up at the chandelier above him which reflected every glimmer of light and intensified it enormously, sending amplified particles of light around the room in a fashion that was otherwise quite beautiful but at the moment it was the one thing keeping Amaraas from falling into a deep slumber which he so desperately needed.

Suddenly, a respectful knock was heard on the door and a servant spoke with his head facing the floor. “My Lord Diga, the King requests your presence in the meeting hall.” He said before racing out of the room, leaving the door opened.

Amaraas sighed and sat up. The servants in the capital were much different than in Nova Lingova, where the servants here are normally much younger and timid, and often run at the first notion of confrontation with their superiors, whereas the servants back home behaved themselves in a dignified manner. Amaraas had stuck many of his servants back home and none of them so much as winced upon feeling his cane strike their limbs, whereas the boys in this palace would crawl into a ball and cry out in fear at the sheer notion of a smack across the face. The servants here were also dressed far too casual to properly receive guests at a royal palace; most of them wore white and gold tunics and paraded around the palace halls without shoes. While this must have suited the servants’ comfort during the summer months, Amaraas heard stories about servants freezing to death in their chambers during the winter when their extremities froze off of their bodies after being refused proper clothing.

Amaraas walked to the main entrance of the palace and walked up the stairs, before entering the room designated as the meeting hall, which really only consisted of a massive oak table and matching chairs scattered around the table in a random order. The back of the room was completely transparent, and one could see luscious pine forests for as far as the eye can see, for the Brankovskiy was situated atop a mighty hill dozens of kilometers outside of Peeto, so that the majestic view from the balcony was not interrupted from the dirty city life that characterized a city as large as Peeto.

The King stood at the end of the table and was hunched over, his palms laying flat on the table. Several other lords were seated around the table, some looking toward Amaraas with contempt, while others had terrified expressions frozen on their faces.

“Come in, sit, Lord Diga.” The voice came from the corner of the room where Mikhail Vernestico stood with a pen and pad in his hands. Amaraas bowed toward Mikhail and took his place at the back corner of the table and listened to the King.

“Lord Diga,” the King acknowledged Amaraas before continuing, “With the events taking place in, not only Brankava and Vestavskiy Kraisk, but in every major urban center in this country, I believe it is imperative that drastic measures are taken to ensure that we can snuff this out before it grows too out of hand and it is in the best interest of the state and Polkopians everywhere that the lives of the perpetrators are taken in such a manner that it should deter any further incursions.”

“M-my King, your holiness,” the quivering young voice of Vsevolod Silevonchik broke the silence, “The scoundrels in Vestavskiy Kraisk have already burned and looted every building in the village. I fear that the offenders have already fled the scene and intend to raid another village.”

“Yes,” Kind Daarius said, standing up and picking the follicles of hair on his chin, “I’m aware of this. I’ll send word to General Branko Rukovskiy, whose position at Fort Gradensko should be enough to intercept the fledgling peasant army that this Zuric managed to raise and put them to the torch. More, if need be. Lord Silevonchik, I shall give you a sum of two thousand Pravs and several Nogti prisoners to rebuild the necessary buildings in order for the village to function as efficient as before.”

“Thank you, my King.” Lord Silevonchik said.

[Hapilopper]

HAPILOPPER TAKES CONTROVERSIAL TIE AGAINST BOLGANO; SEWARD GIVEN STRAIGHT RED; DOZENS OF FANS EJECTED FOR UNRULY BEHAVIOR; PROBST, PERKINS CALLED BEFORE NSWC OFFICIALS TO EXPLAIN POST-MATCH COMMENTS

By Stephanie Jones
The Hapilopper City Herald

HAPILOPPER CITY – To say the least, the last two games for the Hapilopper National Football Team have been discouraging at best. The team’s tremendous run of good luck came to a halt at the hands of Damukuni, when the team lost 1-0 in quite literally the final seconds of the match. Everyone predicted that the Haps would bounce back and roll over Bolgano in the next match, and stories coming from the training sessions indicate that Hapilopper was training to blow Bolgano out of the water.

But that didn’t happen. In fact, Bolgano tied Hapilopper 3-3 in a surprising result, and a result that angered many of the 66,000 plus on hand in Capital Stadium last night. While Ernie Stevenson scored another hat trick – in the 2nd minute, the 15th minute and the 22nd minute, Bolgano surprised with a few goals, including a controversial penalty kick in the 87th minute brought about by a challenge from Nick Seward to Tom Evans.

For reasons unexplained, the challenge, which appeared to miss both the ball and Evans entirely, but the referee saw fit to give Seward a straight red card, in spite of the fact that Evans didn't even respond or react to the challenge. When a replay was shown on the video boards at Capital Stadium, the crowd went into a rage, booing the referee lustily, even chanting a profane manure-related phrase, one that could be easily heard on Venerable Television’s broadcast of the match. Seward will be suspended for the next match of Hapilopper's World Cup qualifying campaign.

When Evans converted the penalty into the equalizing goal, all hell broke loose and fans hurled all varieties of garbage onto the pitch, delaying the match for 30 minutes. For a brief moment, referees considered abandoning the match and awarding a forfeit victory to Bolgano, as bottles, cans, cups, food wrappers and other items were hurled onto the field.

While the referees declined to comment post-match, head coach Thom Perkins said that the referees explained to him the match was about to be forfeited, unless his team could regain order on the field. So he sent out his striker, Ernie Stevenson, to calm down the crowd.

“Listen, guys, you’re pissed off, and I get that,” Ernie said. “I’m pissed off too. But if y’all could stop this nonsense, we’ll make it up to you and we’ll make you proud, what do you say?”

According to Clint Power, the head of security, around 50 fans were ejected for hurling objects onto the field.

“And those were the ones we saw throwing garbage,” Power said. “If we had gotten everyone, it’s possible we might have ejected several thousand people. It was just out of control. People were angry, they were angry over how the team was playing, and they were angry over the result. Just ridiculous.”

After the match, the Hapilopper National Football Team was livid over what had happened. Seward reportedly had to be restrained by both police and his teammates from charging into the referee’s locker room after the match. Fellow defenseman Nate Ellis reportedly threw a chair in the locker room, narrowly missing the head of bench defenseman Donnie Armistead. And Perkins, in his post-match comments, appeared to side with the fans throwing garbage on the field.

“They were mad and they had every right to be,” Perkins said. “Quite frankly, it was a bullshit call. Nick missed both the player and the ball, and he gets a straight red card for that? I mean, he wasn’t even close! That’s the kind of call a referee makes when he’s got money on the outcome of the match. I mean, I’d sure like an explanation behind that call.”

The referee, Jed Onkel, declined to comment and reportedly required a police escort out of the stadium. Onkel has been seen among football aficionados as one of the worst referees in the sport, in regards to questionable calls.

Dom Probst, the head of the Hapilopper Football Association, told reporters after the match that Onkel will never be allowed to referee another match sanctioned by that association.

“He’s persona non grata, as far as football in this country is concerned.” Probst said. “You can’t expect to make terrible calls and get away with it. He ruined what had been a great football match, and a clean one at that, with a call like that. I hate it for us, I hate it for the team from Bolgano, and I hate it for the fans.”

Probst also said that he understood the anger from Hapiloppian fans, and while stopping short of condoning the debris throwing, said that the fans didn’t deserve a match decided by a controversial call.

“I would have been mad too if I had spent $100 on a ticket or more,” Probst said. “Some of those people have talked about the prices they’ve had to pay for tickets for the World Cup qualifiers, so for them to have what had been a great match ruined by a poor call from a referee, I might have reacted the same way. Doesn’t mean it’s right, but I might have been just as angry.”

The two, as well as Venerable’s Jon Arnold and Harold Kellner, were reportedly summoned to see NSWC officials this morning to explain their comments.

On the Venerable broadcast, Arnold and Kellner did not mince words in their criticisms of Onkel, and according to some observers, those words were heard by many fans listening to the broadcast over portable radios across Capital Stadium.

“Well, go figure, Jed Onkel ruins another match,” Kellner said. “This is what happens when you get some lousy, incompetent referee to call your match. You get a B.S. call like this one.”

“And, of course, Onkel has a checkered past when it comes to these kind of calls, both here and abroad,” Arnold said. “When a referee is known to everyone, that’s not usually a good thing, and when you get a terminally incompetent referee like Jed Onkel, a match is sure to be tainted.”

According to some, Arnold and Kellner are being looked at as possibly inciting the near-riot at Capital Stadium. Both Arnold and Kellner have denied any part in starting the incident.

“It’s so loud in that stadium that if people were listening to us on their radios, they’d have a hard time hearing what we were saying to begin with,” Arnold said in a phone interview this morning. “We’ll be meeting with officials, but I don’t see where we did wrong.”

Virtually everyone that talked to the HC Herald, however, universally agreed that it was a shame for Bolgano, that this match, and what turned out to be a magnificent result for them, was tainted by the referee’s call.

“The team from Bolgano played a superb match,” Arnold said. “Red Nines was on the top of his game at goal, and I think it was him that kept this match equal. Same with their defenders. Tom Evans and Daniels Frizzel are spectacular strikers, and their goals in the 24th and the 76th really are worth watching again. It’s a shame everyone will be talking about the ridiculous call from the ref, because Bolgano played their hearts out.”

Hapilopper’s next match will be at Islas Aaland. The match will be aired live on Venerable at 4 AM Hapilopper City Standard Time on Tuesday evening, and on the H-Sports Radio Network across the country.

Stephanie Jones is the Hapilopper City Herald's HNFT beat writer and a lover of science fiction, animated movies and video games. She can be reached on social media at @SJonesHCH and by email at stephanie.jones@hcherald.co.hp.

[Cassadaigua]

A better home effort,
by Stephanie Sweeney, Manager

Before I begin, I have to tell you something weird that happened to forward Caitlyn Mayer the day prior to the match. Out of no where, Mayer reported that her maid, who was working at their home in suburban Starksville, called her to tell her that many boxes had mysteriously appeared in their backyard. Overnight, they were apparently delivered. Her maid opened one of them, and he discovered copies of the Holy Empire World Cup 83 Beach Hunk calendar. A note was dropped off in her mailbox, with Caitlyn gave him permission to open, and evidently there were over 2,200,000 copies delivered. She couldn’t help but be perplexed, but says she will open up a Spacebook page to sell them, after keeping some for herself and closest friends. Caitlyn also wanted me to mention that when she suggested that Mr January was more of a hunk then Mr July, that she still found both men to be very attractive, completing their athletic physique. That has not been posted on Spacebook yet, but I believe they will be soon, with 100% of the proceeds going to the Taylor Connolly Foundation. Those unfamiliar with that charity, it is a program that allows special needs children and adults the opportunity to play sports. Soccer, baseball, and flag football are offered through the Taylor Connolly Foundation, which is based in many different cities across Cassadaigua. It was created by Connolly, one of our great players whose number is retired, and the current President of CASE (Cassadagan Association for Soccer Excellence). It is a great cause, and I would be saying that even if Taylor was not the one in charge of my job security as the manager here.

Through the first half of qualifying, we have heard some of our critics talk about our home woes. Not that they were struggles, but, let’s face it, we were 3-0-0 away from home during the first half, but just 1-2-0 at Dagan Airways Stadium. Nine of the ten goals that we allowed in the first half came while at home. That is something that I did not expect, because we have always protected our home turf very well. There have been a lot of different angles about why that had happened, but anything that suggests a lack of focus I can tell you is absurd. We were confident about our game here against New Karelograd, and I was happy that we put them away so early, and getting a 4-1 win. Still so much work to be done, and we most definitely don’t think that we have this group in hand yet. There is still way too much time for that to even be a thought entering our heads, especially when we still have head to head matches against our key group rivals.

We’ll see you at our next match!

Goal Scorers: Sierra Mattison (3) 11', Hannah Ranucci (5) 18', Rachel Brenner (1) 29', Hannah Shanley (1) 71'

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Press Release

Lost Beached Boyz Classic Released!

Following the unprecedented international success of the Holy Empire World Cup 83 Beach Hunk calendar (with over 2 million copies sold in donated to Cassadaigua alone!), the Holy Empire Football Association is pleased to celebrate the Empire's ongoing qualification success this campaign with the release of the lost Beached Boyz classic Frowny Frown.

With the Beached Boyz reuniting for this special beach-themed World Cup qualification campaign hosted by Drawkland Equestria and Banija, and hoping to play at the special World Cup 83 concert currently being organised by the Royal Banijan Soccer Association (official application still pending; if the lads can refrain from strangling each other for long enough to actually perform on stage together).

"The 4-2 away victory against New North Carolina just seemed like the right moment" said Imperial national team manager Juan Tzimisces, a big fan of the Beached Boyz, "and I'm happy to support this release".

Frowny Frown (No Surfin' Today) was originally recorded in the immediate aftermath of the Beached Boyz's equally legendary (but actually released) album Animal Sounds , with its famous songs such as 'Caroline, No More Llamas', 'Wouldn't It Be Nice to Own a Cat', and 'Dogs Only Know'. The latter menagerie-themed album was a radical departure from the earlier surf-themed output of the Boyz, with band member Mike Hate rumoured to have particularly objected to songwriting genius Brian Nilsow's new direction.

When Nilsow announced that his next set of songs would return to a surf theme, both Hate and record company executives were said to be relieved - only to express a certain level of disappointment when that same set of songs would prove to be a quintuple concept album about a manic-depressive surfer who spent the entire weekend sulking in his beach-side hut because the weather conditions were temporarily inimical to surfing.

The album was recorded by The Beached Boyz, but never saw the light of day except in rare bootleg excerpts that led to Frowny Frown being considered the band's great lost classic. Scarcity perhaps only increased its reputation.

The negative reaction to his masterpiece led to Nilsow becoming a recluse obsessed with building a fully functioning piano made entirely of sand - that he could then bury his head in - but the entire band, including even Mike Hate, have agreed to not just release the album at long last, but to play the entire four-hour song suite at the World Cup 83 concert (application and approval both pending).

However, a special treat is in store for fans attending tonight's home qualifying match against Anollasia. We won't tell you what it is yet, but - in a rare concession from the State Bureau of Imperial Security - Ordinary Reality media of any and all nations (not just those associated with the visiting team) are invited to attend what the Holy Empire Football Association are describing as 'a very special concert treat'.

All we'll say is.... are you ready to surf? Or rather, to express significant frustration at your inability to surf due to the inclement weather?

Members of Ordinary Reality media attending the concert and match will also be given a free copy of the official Holy Empire World Cup 83 Beach Hunk Calendar.

[Darmen]

OOC: Wanna vote yourself? You absolutely can!

World Cup 83: The Psephology Edition
Why have just one election when you can have 1093‽

---

Fear of Fascist "Wave" propelled by Polls

Party                            Polling Change*
United Left                      27.9%   -9.3%
Republican Party                 26.4%   -1.3%
Liberal Party                    16.1%   +2.2%
Fascist & Ultranationalist Union 14.6%   +7.7%
Progressive Greens                4.8%   -0.5%
Royalist Party                    2.5%   -2.0%
Other Parties                     7.7%   +3.2%
*Change from 2041 results

The newest polling figures.

SCOTT CITY - The latest polling figures released by the Darmen Times/Darmeni Broadcasting Corporation show a massive increase in support for the far-right Fascist & Ultranationalist Union ahead of next months general election. The Liberal Party also appears to be headed for an increase in support. However, the Liberal's gains appear to be less than what would be expected considering that party's massive campaign.

Coalition partners United Left and Republican Party look likely to experience large losses, especially the United Left, who are polling nine percentage points lower than their percentage of the votes in the 2041 election. However, both parties combined are polling above 50%, pointing towards the possibility that the current governing coalition will continue for another four years.

Support for many of the minor parties also appears to be increasing, as voters look for alternatives to the major parties ahead of the election. Other polls seem to indicate that voter apathy is on the rise and election officials are worried that overall turnout will be down compared to four years ago.

The surge in polling figures of the Fascist & Ultranationalist Union has many worried, on both the left and right. An area of particularly heightened concern is Darmen's southeast, as tensions between Darmeni nationalists and ethnic-Valladars appear to be on the rise again. Currently the Fascists do not have a seat on any of the southeastern Municipal Councils, but the polls suggest that that will change following the election.

Kailyn Durand, United Left Mayor of Rogerton, stated, "There's no way of knowing what the Fascists will do if they gain seats on the municipal councils in the area. We've seen the type of obstruction and havoc they've brought to councils elsewhere and the hatred they've spread in what is supposed to be a democratic forum and frankly we don't want that here."

Local Valladar community leaders also expressed their worries. "We've made so much progress over the past years, reconciling the differences we have. There's been a significant drop in racist activity locally and its a shame some want to return to the days when those events occurred daily," commented Nico Périgord, spokesperson for the Communities in Common organization which seeks to bring the various local ethnic groups together.

Périgord has termed the prospect of the Fascists playing a larger role in government the "Fascist Wave" and has urged all voters across Darmen to oppose the far-right. "We just can't afford to let them win. Lets all be a breakwater against this Fascist Wave."

---

Hey Darmen, wanna tell us how the football's goin'?

[Newmanistan]

LOUDON LOUDMOUTH - What gives with our “competition”?

by Chris Browning, Field Writer

Have you been reading the crap posted by our supposed competition, The Rocket Report, which is based out of Pocono City? Here we are, trying to qualify for the most prestigious tournament in sports, one in which we have done better in then we have given ourselves credit for, and all the want to talk about is some Beach Soccer thing. What are they doing, playing that on a video game, or something? Hosted by Drawkland? All that Drawkland is good for is giving us memes about blowing a 10-3 lead in Game 5 of a World Baseball Classic series. They may be good in basketball and the real football, but certainly the World Cup of Soccer is not being hosted there. It is instead being hosted by two wonderful nations. Equestrian States has a ton of history hosting sporting events, which includes being the site of our World Baseball Classic 41 championship. Banija also has done a great job hosting events, such as the World Bowl, where they put together a unique format. I am not sure that I would want to do that format again, but it is not just because we failed pretty strongly in it. Failing, like Drawkland is used to doing in baseball. Combined, the nations of Equestrian States and Banija will do a great job in hosting the World Cup.

Qualifying for the Rockets has been about what could be expected, I suppose. There have been some highs, but more lows. They are fourth in the group, with a record of 2-2-3. In seven games, considering our rank, and how we got annihilated in our pre-qualifying friendly against Cassadaigua, that is not the worst record. It will take a while to grow this program back to where it once was. Go ahead and knock that, if you will, and say that our soccer program was no where significant, and I will remind you that we have won four championships amongst the main tournaments that get played in a World Cup cycle. Three Cup of Harmony titles may mean one is never qualifying for the World Cup, but it also shows that we still were doing plenty good. This team needs to not take any crap, and that needs to start in the nation of Ouna in our next match. They beat us at home, and it was demoralizing, but it is time to show them that we can play this sport well. We are champions in it, just not the championship that everyone wants. I am really excited that there seems to be a newfound excitement about soccer in the Empire. We can start again, and make the impossible, possible. Perhaps one day, bring the most coveted title in sports to Newmanistan. You realize that if we ever did that, we would be one of the few nations to win all three of the big titles. Let’s be more then baseball and stock car racing!

[Banija]

Kabaka - King
Luguba - Queen Consort
Sarauniya - Queen Mother
Isebantu - Crown Prince
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Omulangira/Kyabazinga - Duke/Duchess
Kagere/Kiweewa - Lord/Lady
Katikkiro - Prime Minister
Waziri - Foreign Minister
Lukiiko- Parliament
Kiongozi- Leader of the Opposition

Setting at Kasubi House, the primary residence of the Katikkiro

Katikkiro Kizza Makoni was sitting in his office. He had just gotten out of a meeting with Isebantu Mutungi, who was the Waziri, and they had simply been talking about the current state of global affairs. And, of course, it wasn't pretty. Now, of course, these men were realistic- Banija was not nearly strong enough, or rich enough, to legitimately go out there and help truly shape global affairs. Nobody would give a damn about what the Kingdom would have to say on the elections in South Covello, with Carter Redwin's victory and then, suddenly, his near immediate assasination. You saw what was going on in Qusmo, with them becoming very restrictive on immigration. It was a sad moment indeed- especially when you considered all that Qusmi migrants had contributed to quite a bit of the world, especially in the sport of soccer. He saw what was happening places like Mareibat, like Brenecia- hell, even Darmen was having elections that were looking quite worrying to Makoni. Banija did not want to stand by and yet, what kind of voice did Banija have?

About 15 minutes after the Isebantu had left, the Minister for Justice, Xolile Lubabalo, walked into the room. They weren't supposed to meet about this topic, but his frustrations about the issue were clearly boiling over. "Xolile, the world is on freaking fire. We're host the World Cup Finals in just over a year- it's going to be awesome, it's going to be beautiful. Isebantu Mutungi-" he was interrupted by the smallest of coughs. "I'm sorry, His Royal Highness Isebantu Mutungi, shared my concerns. My biggest concern, of course, has to be Darmen. New Istria is a thriving community in a beautiful country- and President Lee has always been supportive of that community. But if an out and out fascist party wins there?"

"Kizza," Said Xolile. "I agree with you on all of those issues. But that's not my purview."

"You're right, I apologize." Said the Katikkiro. "Ok Xolile, what do you have for me today? What are we facing in the world of justice?"

Xolile grabbed out his own notes. They spoke for about a half hour about a couple of issues, that were important but non-major. First, they talked about government plans to introduce citizenship law changes, to allow the children of Commonwealth citizens born on Banijan soil to become Banijan citizens from birth, even if their parents are not Banijan. That bill was in its final stages of being drafted, and was just being looked over by Departmental lawyers to make sure nothing obviously conflicts with the Banijan Constitution. They didn't expect any problems on that front, of course, but when the Minister of Justice was writing the legislation, then something like that should be checked to make absolutely sure that they get that right.

After speaking about the potential changes in Banijan citizenship law, the Katikkiro and his minister spoke about negotiations between Lubabalo and his counterpart on the Busoga Islands for a formal extradition treaty between the two new neighbors. While this was technically a foreign policy issue, the Kabaka had agreed to give the Katikkiro(and the Katikkiro granting that authority to the relevant minister) the ability to negotiate this deal, arguing that since this was mostly an issue that effected justice and the courts, that it would be more of the international application of a domestic policy, than anything else. Of course, the Busoga Islands and the Kingdom did not talk that much- but hell, if the Banijans could put aside their difference and put on a World Cup with the Equestrians, then surely they could do so with a state that used to be one and the same with Banija?

After they talked about that, Xolile moved onto the final topic of the meeting- one that Makoni had no about it. "Kizza," Said Xolile Lubabalo. "We have one more issue to deal with here. We're talking about the fallout of Matthias Mutebi. He has been under arrest- ridiculous, I know- but he has been under house arrest for 12 years. Under the Constitution, of course, he's allowed to appeal for parole."

"Oh fucking shit." Replied Kizza Makoni. "I wasn't expecting this- it wasn't on my radar as well. Hell, it wasn't on anybody's. Can he actually get parole?"

"Well, the long and the short of it, is that he can't." Said Xolile Lubabalo. "There is no way he can. His sentence, of course, was not established via a court of law, but via international treaty between the Equestrian States and the Kingdom of Banija. The Banijan surrender documents clearly state that he is to be put under house arrest for life. It was then Kabaka Albert III's Royal decree that all contact with the outside world be limited, and in the presence of a guard, and all letters, either to him or from him, are read by others first, as he has a strict and complete ban from returning to public life. But because of the 12 year point in time, you'd expect him to appeal. But any judge in the country will throw his appeals away."

The Katikkiro sat there, lost in thought for a moment. AN idea was popping into his head.

"Say, Xolile, you sound positive that Matthias Mutebi, the old fool, was going to appeal. Can we appeal?" Asked Katikkiro?

"What do you mean can we appeal?" Said Xolile Lubabalo. "I told you- he's appealing, the case is already won before it's begun."

"No, what I mean was... Can we try to change the sentence?" Said Kizza Makoni.

"You can't be serious, Kizza?" Said Xolile Lubabalo. "If we tried to reduce his sentence, we would be in clear violation of the peace treaty, right before we're hosting the World Cup with Equestria! Not to mention- you want that fuck to walk free. Pardon my language Kizza, but have you completely lost your mind!?"

"No, I don't want to see Mutebi walking any street ever again. Hell, under house arrest, he has it way too good as it is." Said Kizza Makoni. "No, what I want to know, is this- can we push for an increased sentence? Think about it like this. All across the multiverse, reactionary, far-right forces find themselves on the rise. WE have nationalists ascending to power in Qusmo, trying to cut off immigrants from the country. South Covello just elected Carter Redwin, who was about bring them to a return to the Gregist days before he met his timely demise. We have a straight up fascist party running and polling extremely well in Darmen, who might win an election. What does that mean for New Istria? Those people were refugees, and were welcomed with open arms by President Lee. What will happen now?"

The Katikkiro had a brief pause, and then continued. "Like I said, we have a smaller voice on the international stage. But people know about Matthias Mutebi. People have heard of him. People know what kind of destruction he brought onto the Kingdom and the now Islamic Republic, and how many Banijan, Islander, and Equestrian lives he wasted because of his reactionary, horrific policies. Mutebi did not cause the drought, but he is the one who steered resources away from those in needs because of cronyism, and he is responsible, indirectly, for the deaths of many. We held much of his regime to account. But Hatabu Danso, his deputy, sits across the border in Geisenfred, under the protection of that government, sticking his thumb at us. We more than international law. We need justice. We need true justice. Mutebi has not been forced to pay for his crimes- even the powerful must bow to the will of God."

Xolile took this moment to pipe in. "Kizza, what are you saying?"

"You know what I am saying, Xolile. We've got to change the calculus. How do we show the world that this country is one that radically rejects those racist, fascist tendencies? By holding our own to account. We do not have the biggest voice, but hell, the World Cup is on its way. We may not have the biggest voice, but right now, Banija's center stage. Let's send this message across the multiverse."

They both paused for the longest time. "You can't possibly be saying-"

"Yes, that's exactly what I am saying." Replied the Katikkiro. "Mutebi's days must be numbered. And the good thing about us doing this, is that even if we lose, the default will be to fall back on the Banijan surrender documents, house arrest for life. But we must take this opportunity to show the world who we really are. So I ask you this question, once again- can we do it?"

Xolile paused, and then answered. "Well, considering he wasn't sentenced by a court, logic would hold that the Banijan government would be able to put him on trial. That would not violate the principle of double jeopardy, since technically, he's never been tried. And because of the profile and sensitivity of the case, while we cannot petition the Guardian Council to take the case, we imagine that they'll jump on it pretty quickly."

"OK, fantastic." The Katikkiro said this as he rose, prompting the Minister to rise as well. "Well, we better get ahead of this. You know how the press is these days. Schedule a joint press conference between yourself and myself for three days from now. We'll take it to the full cabinet tomorrow, and I'll make sure to inform His Majesty two days after. And remember- we're not just trying to get him a real punishment, besides house arrest. We're going for the jugular."

"The jugular?" Replied Xolile.

"The jugular. You know, the one punishment in the Constitution that cannot be handed down by a court or jury, but has to come from the Guardian Council themselves, by a 5-1 vote." Replied Kizza Makoni. "When the world descends on Banija in a year, they will know that we are a place that refuses to stand for far-right reactionaries, even from our own citizens."

[South Covello]

Trial of Jacob Brackers, Part 1

Bailiff: "WIll all come to order in the matter of People of South Covello v. Jacob Brackers, Honorable Judge Lucinda Pringle presiding, please rise"

All rise and Judge Pringle enters. All sit

Lucinda Pringle: "Good morning all, let the record reflect that court was convened at 9:02 AM. Is the prosecution ready to proceed?"

Daxter McLean: "Yes, Your Honor."

Lucinda Pringle: "Is the defense ready to proceed?"

Dalia Scottson: "Yes, Your Honor."

Lucinda Pringle: "Before we begin, do any jurors have questions about procedure? pause Hearing none, we will begin with opening statements. Mr. McLean, whenever you're ready."

Daxter McLean's Opening Statement on Behalf of the Prosecution:

"It is an undisputed fact that the defendant, Jacob Brackers, shot and killed Carter Redwin. It is an undisputed fact that he did so deliberately and with premeditation. However, Mr. Brackers wishes to assert that his murder - Scottson opens her mouth to object, but before she can, McLean "corrects" himself I'm sorry, his killing of Mr. Redwin was justified by the fact that Redwin was a tyrant. However, in this country, this free country, with freedom that we fought so hard for, we do not kill people because of what they [/i] might do. Perhaps, if Redwin had already taken office, and already become Lord Almighty Gregory 2.0, perhaps at that point killing him would be justified. But at this point, Mr. Redwin had not even assumed the Office of the Presidency yet, much less done anything. There were other options - an Act of the Legislature to remove him from office or prevent him from ever taking it, protests, writing letters, and so on. Mr. Brackers had many options he could have done to stop Carter Redwin. The one he chose was not acceptable.

"And lest we forget, Carter Redwin is a human being too. His wife Melanoma, an immigrant herself, lest we think Mr. Redwin would kill all immigrants, loved him very much, you will hear from her later in the trial. You will also hear from the medical examiner, who will testify as to the brutal matter in which Mr. Redwin's chst was blown open. You will hear from experts in politics and democracy who will testify that Mr. Brackers's kiliing of Mr. Redwin created a reasonable chance of causing the very evils he was trying to prevent - war, unrest, and riots. Regardless, what Carter Redwin did was murder. Murder of the President-elect, which under the laws of our nation constitute assassination.

"Now, you will hear testimony from the defense's so-called experts that Mr. Redwin would inevitably have turned into a tyrant had he been allowed to take office, but the fact is that you don't know that. I don't know that. We don't know that. Mr. Brackers didn't know that. Nobody knows that, because there was simply no way of knowing that. Nobody knows the future. For all we know, Mr. Redwin would have governed as a fair and just leader, or perhaps the Legislature would have stopped him from governing at all. We don't know. You don't know. We just don't know."

McLean's testimony went on for several hours, before concluding at around 11:55 AM. Shrewed prosecutor that he was, he strategically timed it to end just before lunch so the jury would be able to think it over while they ate. Sure enough, Judge Pringle called for a recess until 1:00 so everyone could eat.

Lucinda Pringle: "Court is back in session, let the record reflect that it is 1:03 PM. All jurors are present, as are Mr. Brackers, Ms. Scottson, and Mr. McLean. Ms. Scottson, are you ready to proceed with your opening statmenet?"
]Dalia Scottson: "Yes, Your Honor."

Lucinda Pringle: "Good, then proceed."

Dalia Scottson's Opening Statement Representing Defendant Jacob Brackers:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have a difficult task at hand. As Mr. McLean explained, we do not dispute that Jacob Brackers shot and killed Carter Redwin. We do not dispute that he did so delibrately and with premeditation. However, Mr. Brackers has asserted a justification defense, as is his right under law. There are several elements of this defense, and we will prove each of them by the preponderance of evidence, as we are required to do under law. First, we will show that Mr. Brackers killing Carter Redwin was necessary to prevent Redwin from becoming a tyrant, yet another tyrant in the vein of Lord Almighty Gregory. Second, we will show that this would be a greater evil than killing Redwin would be. The second point is fairly simple. I want to show you a video now, of Carter Redwin's acceptance speech shortly before Jacob Brackers killed him."

The lights are dimmed and the jury is shown video clips of Carter Redwin's speech.

I am told I will be inaugurated in 14 days, at which point I will immediately get to work on Making South Covello Great Again. Well, things are going to be a bit different around here with me in charge. For starters, we’re bringing back the death penalty! Those awful awful Halebots say I can’t do it, because of a stupid thing called the Constitution, but fuck the Constitution! And maybe the Legislature will try to stop me, but Fuck Them Too! In fact, on my first day in office, as soon as I take office, I will order the entire Legislature arrested and dissolved! We cannot allow the Legislature to get in the way of Greatness anymore! They have stood in the way for too long and only I can stop them!

“Yes, that’s right, I will be the only leader you have, and the only leader you need. And yes, Presidentress al-Jabari will be the first to meet the new death penalty, which will be by firing squad, followed by all of his stupid allies and supporters, and of course, the Legislature. We will make South Covello for South Covellans Again, the Muslims, Jews, immigrants, homosexuals, atheists, blacks, and all others who aren’t real South Covellans will meet the same grim fate that awaits the transgender gay Presidentress Muslim al-Jabari. Yes, we will go forward into the future knowing that we have a Great Nation, free from the vile stains that are the impure. I know that you will support me, am I right?’”

The lights come back on and Dalia Scottson continues with her opening statement

"Carter Redwin made his intentions very clear - he was going to dissolve, arrest, and execute the entire Legislature so they could not stop him, in blatant defiance of the Constitution, the law, and human decency. That's 300 dead right there. Then he was going to launch a mass genocide against Muslims, Jews, immigrants, gays, racial minorities, and anyone else he deemed 'impure.' Any of his political opponents - they would die too. The resulting body count would number in the millions, if not in the tens of millions. Surely the death of one tyrant is a lesser evil than the death of tens of millions of innocent people. We will prove that in the coming days, though it should be obvious.

"Mr. Baxter claims you cannot know what Carter Redwin would have done, but you do know - he said so himself. And once he took power, there would be nobody around to stop him. Jacob Brackers needed to stop him before he could do that. There's the first element of our defense. In the coming days, you will hear from our witnesses - from political experts - experts both professionally and personally as they have lived through tyrants like Lord Almighty Gregory, Reino Kulseth, and Caleb O'Reilly - from survivors of the acts of terror perpetrated by Redwin's gang of supporters - terror that would surely have gotten worse had Redwin been allowed to take office - and you will hear testimony about Jacob Brackers himself - he knows why he did this better than anyone else."

Scottson's testimony also went on for several hours, before concluding around 4:30 PM. Due to the late hour, Judge Pringe sent the jury home for the day. Court would resume the next day at 9:00 AM with Daxter McLean calling his first witness.

[Torisakia]

And welcome to another edition of the Sports With Bort blog, I'm your always humble host Bort Stevens. We're continuing our special report on Torisakia's World Cup 83 campaign that we began earlier. Previously, we talked about Torisakia's performance midway through the group stages. And today, we'll be talking about why in the hell do we keep tying with every other opponent we face?

The other day I said we we had to win out in order to have a chance at qualifying for the World Cup. Well with last night's 3-3 tie against Eura pretty much erased all hope of that. I mean I like the fact that we tied with a top teb=n team instead of getting assblasted like we usually do, but why in the unholy god do we keep tying with every other opponent? This is now the third tie we've had since this event began. One of those was even a scoreless tie. Who in the hell wants to watch a match that's scoreless all the way through? No wonder this sport isn't as popular as the others. It's so ungodly boring. Especially when you only have the same two players scoring every goal because the rest of the team sucks.

I'm of course talking about Jordan Kallian and Tide Wallace. They've carried the load from the start. Kallian has accounted for just under half of our goals this World Cup and Wallace has scored 4 in just two matches of him starting. Everyone else has been doing fuck all. We would win a lot more games if everyone would actually at least try and contribute instead of leaving it to just one or two players. Neither Kallian nor Wallace get paid enough to carry the team on their back. It's ridiculous that they have to because the other nine players suck the almighty big red one. These guys really need to take lessons from the gridiron team. They don't make one guy carry the whole load. They spread the ball around. They all contribute in some way to the team's success. I know I'm going on this tirade over an innocent tie with a top ten team, but me and many others are starting to get sick of this. I thought it would change with the overhaul of the team, but I guess I was wrong.

So Torisakia now sits at 2-3-2 in Group M after matchday eight and will have a rematch with Ko-oren on matchday nine. The previous meeting ended in a 0-0 tie. We can only pray that this one doesn't end the same way. It would be great if they could get a win, but I'm not holding my breath. The day that this team all decides to work together to get a victory is the day that hell freezes over and there isn't a music album about it. But I guess we get the pleasure of seeing Jordan Kallian and Tide Wallace play. We can just imagine that they're the only two on the team and the other nine on the pitch are just figments of our imagination. You really have to bend reality if you're a fan of Torisakia sports.

Welp, that's all I have for today. I'll be back with another edition of Sports with Bort soon to discuss the Torisakia-Ko-oren matchup and preview the next matchup as well as take a look at other happenings around the tournament in other groups. Take care and nothing is real, nothing to get hung about.

[Krytenia]

#wewantfive
By Rami Niblick in Au'Rahabar, Sinyal

IN Starblaydia, they want six. A trail of silverware leading back to World Cup XXV that Krytenians are honestly not jealous of at all, really. Besides, what we really want is five. That is to say five wins on the spin. To do so, the Dragons must travel to yet another far-flung corner of the multiverse; the nation of Sinyal.

There's not much to be said about our next opponents, save that they somehw managed to steal three points from us way back on Matchday Two. Of course, that was back when our defence was truly awful - which would explain how they managed to concede three goals to what amounts to a veritable "who's that" of the footballing world.

Slip-ups of this scale must not be tolerated if the Dragons are to reach the promised land of the World Cup. The group is delicately poised, and Krytenia will need all the points they can muster ahead of their inevitable defeat at the hands of Mercedini. Again. Onward!

[Kita-Hinode]

Lucas stared at the Pokémon with a rather confused face. He didn't know exactly what to make of the creature in front of him. The creature itself was a pale purple being, although it seemed like he (the creature was a male by definition) wore brown shorts and shoes. Some of his body was covered in bandages yet he didn't seem to be injured. In fact, from the expression on his face, it seemed like the creature wanted to start a wrestling bout with Lucas.

?: Ty! Tyrogue!
LM: Uh... Marine.
MOR: Yes, Lucas?
LM: Is he... is he trying to wrestle me?
MOR: Tyrogue is a pokémon with a lot of heart that always strides to get stronger. You'll probably have an easy time training him and he should evolve to his final form soon enough as well.
LM: Hm? So he's not gonna be like this forever?
MOR: Hardly. This is just the start of his life. He'll evolve to a new form where one of his skills is better displayed: whether it'll be a matter of speed, strength and endurance, that's on your training.
LM: I guess... I guess we could work this out.
MOR: You can also give him a nickname if you want.
LM: I don't think he'd like that very much... He's trying to flip my finger right now.
MOR: Uh... y-y-yeah, you should put him back in his ball for a bit.

[Eura]

Part 1

Countryside, near the town of Cragg
Bellight, Mareibat

It was a weekday morning like any other in Cragg except for the unseasonably clear weather. Some children danced about on the pebble strewn beaches at the foot of the hills running down below. Farmers towed their land, unperturbed by the conflict that had descended upon their small country. A local woman sleepily waded into the local corner shop, the business she ran all year around to cater for the surrounding few streets, getting ready to serve the locals for another day. Overlooking this view was a semi-forested minor mountain, rising three hundred metres above sea level and dominating the local landscape along with a handful of similar peaks. A road ran around the mountain’s surroundings and through the town, right down to Beghat’s Point at the southernmost tip of the island. Two men were steadily climbing the little mount after disembarking from their quadbike at the side of that road, looking for a spot to carry out their mission. That mission, though they were not fully aware of it, was to find a target.

The two men were BPA soldiers. Militia or volunteers would be a more accurate term – the BPA conferred legitimacy on its rank and file by addressing them as soldiers with ranks, but it was no secret that this was a largely amateur army. Landon Darder and Jorn Driscoll were no exceptions. Darder was the older of the two, a seasoned twenty four year old who had fought through the “people’s liberation” campaign across Bellight. Miraculously he had not been wounded or worse. Driscoll was the more junior of the two, only nineteen and boasting exactly zero combat experience before the government were ejected from Bellight city itself. ‘Come on cub, hurry up. It’s not that big a hill!’ Driscoll didn’t like being patronised by Darder. Not so long ago they had been in school at the same time, although on different sides of the island. Now they were revolutionaries. Neither had been unfortunate enough to have to kill someone, not yet.

Driscoll was, like many rookies, lightly armed with an old revolver and had little in the way of a uniform beyond a hastily stitched badge on the leather jacket he’d got hold of on his eighteenth birthday. He was still a kid in all but name, playing soldier and playing real man, whatever that meant. Wearing it for this trip was a mistake. It was too hot for leather and the climb was turning the thing into a torso sized sweat container. ‘Landon…fucking…slow the fuck down yeah? Please.’
‘Oh, get a grip. You’re not delivering newspapers now kiddo.’
‘Fuck off.’ Driscoll would have to struggle, gazing jealously at Darder’s combat boots, flak jacket and semi-automatic rifle. They did actually get on pretty well all things considered, having grown up in different places from very different backgrounds - ironically this was one of many examples of war had a way of bringing people together. They just liked to berate each other over nothing to overcome the boredom. At least today they had a real task on their hands to direct their energies somewhere more destructive.

When they reached the summit Driscoll fell to his knees and hollered out in faux agony. ‘Lannnndoonnn. Are we done?’
‘Yeah, drop the kit. This will do. Can you stop whining now? And call me Corporal, I’m a Corporal.’
‘I’m not whining. You’re whining. About me whining. Not that I am, I’m complaining, which is not whi-’
‘Lord above, shut your fat Regis mouth and give me a hand with the equipment!’ They had brought with them a set of binoculars, a rangefinder, some maps and a satellite phone. Plus lunch of course. Darder put his hand out expecting Driscoll to fill it with the binoculars without hesitation. Instead he now had a turkey sandwich. ‘I swear, I’m going to roll you back down this big bastard again.’ Driscoll sighed as if he were having a tantrum and threw the heavy binoculars into Darder’s lap. ‘Agh – whatever. Thanks. Ok, you put the batteries in the rangefinder and let’s get looking.’ Their view from the top was excellent, with the trees being at least fifty metres below their line of sight.

The BPA’s main men in Cragg today had been tasked with surveying the western Mareibat Straits, through which huge quantities of international shipping passed through every day in spite of the regional instability. Their task was simply to identify commercial and military shipping and feed back what they found to base via the satellite phone periodically. It was from here that Darder got his first taste of what he perceived to be the glory of war, watching with his parents and the local townsfolk as flashes illuminated the horizon on a cold clear night years ago. They had been watching one of the earliest major naval engagements between Eura and Sameba in their recent war, a savage clash of great fleets at much closer range than they were designed to fight. Eura had won the day that time as they would gradually tend to do the longer the war wore on. He had always been disappointed that his parents hadn’t let them go down to the beach to comb for wreckage in the following days. They’d never told him about the bodies. He briefly wondered if they’d be proud to see him back here today doing this.

Today’s clear skies made it easy to see out as far as the human eye could search. On another day they might have gone swimming. ‘Alright, ok. We’ve got a few container ships, big ones, some oilers. Something military possibly that’s way out. Reckon Puniface is back for another go?’ Both of them laughed mockingly at the notion. In recent days the damaging of that Apoxian warship had been played up by the BPA’s semi-professional propaganda outlets as a great act of martyrdom rather than an idiotic escalation. It rallied the troops for sure, especially these ones, who were powerless to do much with the island under control but the rest of Mareibat out of reach for the moment. ‘I’d like to see them try.’
‘Too right. Some trawlers out there maybe, pleasure craft…who the hell would go for a cruise right now?’
‘I heard the Master Harbourmaster had the entry to the civilian port mined, back in the city. Is that true?’
‘It can’t have been if there are civilians out there but it should be. If I was going to attack the island, that’s where I’d do it. Hold up. Rangefinder, quick! And the maps.’ Driscoll passed the equipment over and got ready with the map and a pen.

He zoomed in with the more sophisticated rangefinder device to look at a ship bouncing across the waves a kilometre or so behind an oil tanker. It was gray, and looked about the size of a ferry, only much thinner. ‘I think that’s military you know.’
‘How?’
‘How…what do you mean, how?’ Darder was incredulous. ‘It’s a big fucking gray ship with weird shapes on the deck, what else is it going to be?’ Driscoll remained silent for a moment as the cogs whirred in his brain. ‘You sure its gray?’
‘Yes.’
‘Couldn’t it be like, a very dull blue?’
‘No. I’m telling you, that thing is a warship. I would know, of course.’ He couldn’t help but be smug about his alleged expertise on naval vessels, having watched a few flashes on the horizon once a long time ago. It wasn’t the best evidence base to go by. ‘I’d bet its Apoxian. Range is 21.17 miles. Here, give me that.’ He snatched away the relevant map page and scrawled down a rough grid square co-ordinate. ‘I’d put it about there. Let’s call it in.’ Feeling excited that he might finally get to see some action, Driscoll flipped on the satellite phone and dialled the number they’d been given.

It took a few moments to connect. ‘I don’t get why we don’t just use mobiles really. We could definitely get signal here.’
‘Quiet, listen to the line. Don’t miss whatever they say.’ There was no response for a while, until a gravelly voice spoke over the line. ‘Waterfall.’ Driscoll looked puzzled. Darder thought for a moment, and then it clicked. ‘Brook.’ Another moment of silence followed before the response came. They’d got the right codeword after all. ‘Patrol Seven, what’s the news?’ Before Driscoll could say anything Darder seized the phone off him, overwhelming the former’s protests with a punch in the arm. ‘Yes, this is Corporal Darder sir, reporting in!’
‘For fuck sake, no names. Confirm.’ He went red – much to Driscoll’s barely suppressed delight. ‘Sorry, yes sir. Confirm. This is Patrol Seven, confirmed.’
‘Report.’
‘We’ve spotted an enemy warship, a frigate, just over twenty one miles from shore to the southwest, bearing north, suspected to be moving slightly away from us. Over.’
‘Understood. Anything else to report?’
‘No sir!’
‘Alright. Check in at twelve hundred.’

They tried to check in but there was no response. Darder and Driscoll sat there for an hour or so marking the positions and movements of the shipping on maps uneventfully. They ate a spot of brunch, and mused over why they hadn’t heard back from their superiors. Driscoll was particularly concerned. ‘Were you absolutely sure? You said it was an enemy warship. How do you know that?’
‘Profile, kid. You wouldn’t understand, of course. You could tell from its outline and all that. It’s an Apoxian frigate, I am absolutely sure of it.’
‘Could you see a flag or something? Or a name?’
‘I…no.’ Darder’s eye twitched nervously. ‘I didn’t need to. It was obvious ok? Stop asking questions, you’re here to help me mark things not undermine my methods.’
‘Well maybe if you didn’t base all your knowledge off “LSA 3” we’d be more sure.’
‘Hey fuck you man, what do you know? The reason you’ve only got that shitty revolver is because you didn’t educate yourself like I did. You haven’t had to really fight yet. So put up or shut up.’ LSA 3, or LandSeaAir 3, was a Euran video game that offered an authentic combat experience as opposed to the standard shoot ‘em up, featuring the military’s of numerous countries including Apox. Darder was obsessed and felt this gave him some kind of advantage in a real war, which summed up one of the biggest problems with the quality of soldier the BPA had to hand.

As they were settling in for the early afternoon, a call came in. ‘This is Patrol Seven.’
‘Patrol Seven, this is central. Please confirm your current position and the position of the vessel you identified earlier.’ Darder relayed the information, noting the voice of “central” had gained an urgency that was missing earlier. ‘Alright Patrol Seven, you have new instructions. Move north one kilometre to the next peak, then descend to the crossroads. Await further instructions. Out.’ The radio went dead. Without a word, they packed up and made their way to the waypoint. It took a while but when they got there, Darder and Driscoll were alone. The weather remained clear. What was the point of moving down from the better view on the mount? Suddenly the ground began to tremble beneath them. Coming around the corner and beginning to slow down as the crossroads approached was a heavy goods vehicle with a flatbed trailer. Mounted on it was some kind of long object, covered in a green tarp, with a couple of militiamen sat on the bed of the truck alongside it. They dismounted along with the passengers of the three vehicles following the truck.

A van with a satellite dish then turned up, and out of it came a familiar face. It was months ago but there was no mistaking him. ‘Hey you’re, what is it, Quarry?’ The olive skinned man with a scarred jaw and empty looking eyes stopped in his tracks. His combat fatigues were in pristine condition compared to the muddy trousers of Darder and Driscoll’s frayed and muddied outfits. ‘Yes, I am. You are?’
‘Corporal Darder sir, and this is Private Driscoll.’ Driscoll trembled nervously without adding a response. ‘We’re ready to help however we can sir!’
‘You can help by showing me what you saw.’ The three men descended onto the side road and through a wooded section before coming to a rest stop. It had a few disused picnic benches and an old outhouse. More importantly, it had a flat cement surface and overlooked the straits from an altitude of only a hundred and fifty metres above sea level. Darder enthusiastically pointed out the frigate to Quarry and made sure to take all the credit for it spotting it.

As soon as it was clear what they had seen was in fact a warship the lorry was guided down the path to the rest stop where it would unload its cargo. All three men watched as the tarp was removed and a bank of computer equipment in the back of the van plugged into it. Driscoll let his curiosity get the better of him as they stood still next to the mysterious Quarry. ‘What on earth is that sir? If you don’t mind us asking.’ He narrowed his eyes and turned to the much shorter Driscoll, looking down at him, through his eyes and out the back of his skull. ‘It is an anti-ship missile launcher, used to be called “Kolda”. It was a model used by the Sameban Navy. We will be using it today if all goes to plan.’ This was it then. They had hit the big time. Darder beamed from cheek to cheek at the thought of being involved in what could be Bellight’s finest hour so far. ‘This will stick it to those Apoxian bastards and their MDP stooges!’ he loudly proclaimed. Driscoll was a little more nervous. He didn’t understand why they needed to blow up an Apoxian ship.

The “Kolda” was nearly ready. Quarry borrowed Darder’s binoculars for a moment to get another good look at their target. General Cain of the Sameban Republican Army, as Quarry had previously gone by, knew something didn’t add up. It had been little more than a few days since the Puniface attack. Why would Apox allow a lone escort to wander so close to shore? Getting a closer look and taking a moment to evaluate confirmed his suspicions that this was not one of Matthias Sindelar’s oversized pleasure boats. Regardless of what this deluded Corporal had told himself, the profile of the ship was a closer fit for something different. He recognised it well. There was an opportunity to tell these soldiers of Bellight they were about to attack the wrong country but on this occasion Cain chose not to. There were a number of reasons, including that he fancied the BPA’s strategists were being too conservative in failing to attack any and all shipping they could near the islands with what meagre resources they had. The main reason was, however, that he was a soldier of Sameba. When he saw that familiar looking hulk of metal he felt a tingling hatred boiling under his skin.

Carrying out this attack would be extraordinarily risky, yet it was too late now to back down. The BPA needed a reality check about the dangers of their “fuck the world” policy and Cain hoped it would work out for them. Primarily however this was an opportunity to stick one to the country who had stolen his own from him. None of the others would work out his conveniently omitted discovery unless they were a lot smarter than they looked, which he figured they were not. ‘Are we ready?’
‘Yes Quarry, everything is complete. We followed what you said to the letter.’ Behind him the missile tube was now mounted on a rather ingeniously designed launcher.
‘Good. Let’s execute. Darder, Driscoll, get me a range on that frigate.’ The two soldiers were eager to please and rushed to one of the picnic tables, climbing onto it in a prone position to get a clear view over the crash barriers that hung over the small cliff in front of them. Darder called out a final set of data, which technicians then inputted into the computer set up. ‘Are we ready?’
‘Ready to fire on command.’ Cain took a breath and savoured the moment. He was cordial enough at least to let the BPA Major accompanying him think that he was in charge. ‘You are a true soldier of Bellight. It’s your call.’ The Major hesitated for a moment, then made the call. ‘You have permission to fire.’ Everyone covered their ears and within moments, the missile blasted free from its tube and flew at speed out to sea.

Nearly twenty five miles from shore the crew of ENS Swifton had little idea of the danger they were in as they patrolled the straits, part of a maritime security operation known as Operation Clear Roads. The target was not an Apoxian frigate. It was a Euran destroyer. On the bridge, Captain Susanna Oates was actually settling down with a mug of coffee the moment the “Kolda” was sent on its merry way. Over the course of the next minute it descended rapidly to a few metres above sea level after clearing the trees and cliffs, and then raced toward the unsuspecting Euran vessel. Once it reached that point the ship’s radar finally detected the missile’s signature and sounded the alarm. Oates had less than a minute to react but the circumstances were confusing enough to test her resilience to the limit. ‘You’re sure?’
‘AsHM, SMB Type 30, closing in from 150!’
‘How? It can’t be, you’re saying the Sameban Navy has lodged a ship in a fucking island?!’
‘Closing fast, thirty seconds! Ma’am I don’t see what else it could be!’ She had to make a decision now. If this was a low flying civilian aircraft and they blew it out of the sky, there would be hell to pay. It didn’t matter to Oates though – her crew came first. ‘You have authorisation, deploy Swordfish.’

“Swordfish” was the colloquialism for the Euran Navy’s standard anti-air missile. The ship fired two Swordfish from its bow-end vertical launch system in an attempt to take out the missile mid-flight. ‘No hit…no hit! Ma’am!’ Her blood ran cold. They had moments before it hit unless the Close In Weapons System destroyed the missile at the last second. The crew had already been warned to brace and don their anti-flash gear. Oates instinctively grabbed hold of the sideboard and waited. The CIWS screamed into life with a burst of fire at the missile but an error in its targeting system saw the cannon undershoot wildly, causing jets of water to shoot up right off the starboard side. Unhindered by any remaining defences, the missile slammed into the bow of the ship a couple of metres above the waterline. A sizeable explosion rocked the Swifton and sent it up into the air for a moment, before falling hard back into the sea. Smoke and fire poured from its hull. Injured crew scrambled to escape the damaged section, a couple running back in to recover wounded comrades. Oates had survived despite a nasty concussion. While she recovered her officers put in the call to Bastion.

The news travelled quickly all the way from the relevant naval attache to the Chiefs of Staff, to the Minister of Defence and finally the Prime Minister. She had been alone in her office after a by-election campaign event, surveying the latest economic data and reviewing a section of her next speech dedicated to subtly digging at her rivals both foreign and domestic. She hadn’t had bad military news in a while. It had become so overwhelmingly frequent and depressing in scale during the war that she’d learned to tolerate it back then. That tolerance had faded. When she was brought the news, she politely asked her advisors to leave and sat alone for a few moments. They had been brief. A Euran destroyer holed by someone in the vicinity of one of Mareibat’s islands. A double digit death toll. One of Eura’s ships was struggling to remain afloat, one of her ships with her men and women dying. The old feeling had come back. She’d been told they would draw up a series of “pragmatic options” intended to “respond proportionately” in “consultation” with Apox, the nation that in Eura’s eyes had to govern the situation. She looked down and noticed the pen in her hand had split slightly in a stress grip. Far away and without knowing quite the implications of their actions, two naïve boys from Bellight had managed to piss off the most irritable and powerful Prime Minister in Euran history. The post-celebration hangover would be the least of their worries.

[Vilita]

---

Why Should you enter the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge?

If you happen to have found yourself to the nations of Vilita, Xanneria, Hampton Island or Vangaziland during the course of recent weeks you may have wondered whether you should stop by the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge at that countries NSSCRA Stock Car Racing Event. Now, we'll tell you why you should do it.

1) It's Free.

2) You get a pair of Orange Gloves

3) A picture of you in pit-crew gear on twii.tur

4) Tell your friends you changed a tire in less than 10 seconds

...And if you are one of the fastest participants...

5) You can win a Tropical Vacation for 2

6) You can call yourself a "Professional Athlete"

7) Immortalized video of you pitting an NSSCRA Stock Car!

Yes, time is running out to enter the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge promotion where the fastest performing participants in a number of disciplines will be invited to serve on the Pit Crew of #42 Euroli Islander and the Tropicorp Racing Supply Sifaka Team during the NSSCRA Tropicorp Pit Crew Competition at the Tropicorp 500 Race Weekend in Tropicoast, Tropicorp.

There is no cost to attempt any of the discipline though you do have to get back in line after completing one event if desiring to try one of the other stations. Every participant in the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge receive one free pair of orange Tropicorp gloves for use during the challenge and they can either take them home as a gift when they are done with the challenge or drop them in a recycle box on their way out of the display.

While only the best of the best will receive an invitation to Tropicorp to be an official member of the #42 Team Tropicorp pitcrew for a day, the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge can be a great way to get a feel for what it is like to be a pit crew member on a professional auto racing team. While only the events in Vilita, Xanneria, Hampton Island, Vangaziland and Tropicorp can qualify a participant for the grand prize as a member of the #42 Team Tropicorp pit crew, the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge will continue throughout the NSSCRA Racing Season in nations such as Hapilopper, Saint Kanye, Cassadaigua and Newmanistan where even more fans will get a chance to time themselves against family and friends for pit crew bragging rights. Be careful however as you may get permanent tire-changing duty on the family mini van!

As a review, the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge Discipline Summary and Entry Blank is below. Participants must be present in either Vilita, Xanneria, Hampton Island or Vangaziland to participate or attend the Tropicorp 500 festivities in Tropicorp and compete on the first day of the competition to qualify.

---

Individual Skill Stations:

The tire changing station consists of a full nose clip of an NSSCRA Stock Car and participants will start from the drivers side of the 'vehicle', run across to the right side and complete the removal and replacement of lug nuts. Then, they will have to return to the left side of the 'vehicle' and do the same for the other tire and finish their run by pushing the large button on the ground next to this tire. This station will be timed.

The fueling station will consist of the rear clip of an NSSCRA Stock Car and participants will be responsible for transferring a full load of fuel using two pre-loaded cans. Participants will start with one fuel can in hand and will be timed through setting the second can down. If the fuel cans are not empty the competitor will receive a time penalty adjusted for the percentage of 'fuel' delivered.

The Jacking station consists of a full size Team Tropicorp NSSCRA Stock Car Replica. Participants must jack each side of the car high enough to lift both tires off the ground. Pressure plates below each tire will have an indicator to determine when the Tires are fully off the ground. At that point the Participant would go to the other side and Jack once more. Once the Tires are lifted, the Jack is released and the pressure plates will sense the car stopping the clock.

At the Repairs and Adjustment Kiosk, fans will learn how to make Adjustments on the fly including adding or removing tape from the nose of a car, removing windshield tear offs, adding spring rubbers and ensuring that none of the vehicle bodywork is rubbing onto a tire.

At the inspection Kiosk, fans will be given the chance to review up to 10 Pitstops and identify any infractions or errors including Loose Lugnuts, pitting outside the box, crew members entering the box too soon, a summary of repairs or adjustments and number of crew members over the wall. Participants can receive a score based on the number of correct assessments.

---

All fans wishing to participate in the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge and have their time considered for the Grand Prize will have to fill out a small form indemnifying Tropicorp from any harm that may come to the participant in the Challenge as well as providing the following information for contest purposes:

Complete Your Entry Here!

- Name
- Age
- Home Nation
- Occupation
- NSSCRA Event Attending (Vilita, Xanneria, Hampton Island or Tropicorp)
- Discipline Station (Tire Changing, Fueling, Jacking, Repairs and/or Inspection)

All entry forms should be submitted to Tropicorp prior to competing in the Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge. Participants are encouraged to attempt multiple disciplines if they desire throughout any given event weekend.

---

[Kelssek]

WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS
KELSSEK STALLS AT STADE DE LA PACIFIQUE

The winning run that took Kelssek to the top of its qualifying group for World Cup 83 spluttered and has now conclusively gone off the road after a shocking collapse in Langlois that saw them lose 3-2 to the unranked Union of The Sarian despite leading with 10 minutes to go.

Failures to close down the opposition in midfield were problematic throughout the match and Kelssek finally paid for it late. Isabelle Stanway's moment of brilliance, scoring the equalizer from 24 metres, should have been the wake-up call. But it happened again with Victor Clinton caught dwelling on the ball. Stanway's pass made the go-ahead goal too easy for Peterson, leaving fans who thought they'd be enjoying Kelssek's first match and first win in the Stade de la Pacifique shocked into silence.

Then a flash of skill in the box left Mason Curtin well beaten and his desperate lunge to clatter Freya Hawking denied a certain goal. Kai Poirier even saved the resulting penalty -- but not the rebound. As it stands, Curtin's red card means he will be suspended for the next qualifying match. Blake McDonagh's injury time goal came much too late and was ultimately irrelevant.

Manager Kirk McDonagh didn't mince words in calling the result "disastrous".

"To lose is one thing, to lose in this kind of way just isn't acceptable, and plain unprofessional," he said after the match. "This is a golden opportunity to qualify for the finals which we cannot afford to waste. If some of the players took this match too lightly, they know better now. We need to get our heads right because it's not getting any easier from here."

Kelssek remain top of the group, but the result means that Sargossa one point behind have a game in hand, and Osarius and Drawkland are in hot pursuit. With three points separating first place from fourth, everything will depend on the team bouncing back strong.

[Audioslavia]

Twist and Shout (in annoyance)
Bulls Blown Away by Tornado

The Audioslavian national team continue to make life hard for themselves in attempting to qualify for World Cup 83, downed yesterday evening at home by unlikely front-runners Tornado Queendom.

The Spinning Sovreigns, as we imagine the team call themselves, have cut a swathe through Group B, losing only once on the way to a lofty second position in the standings, ahead of highly regarded Brusseldorf and a Filindostan team in the middle of an implosion after running Audioslavia close four years ago.

At the bottom of the group, Astograthian football continues its humorous nadir and are winless in six. Also making tender-footed returns to the international game are Schiavonia, San Jose Guayabal and The Sarian, in the mix in other groups and making up for a lack of talent in their current generations of players by providing a teary eyed feeling of nostalgia for those of a certain age.

Displeasingly, Krytenia and Starblaydia continue to find results that appease their fans. Those Audioslavians who would prefer to see their rivals annoyed than their own team succeed (which is around half of you) will have to wait for their next helping of calanian schadenfreude.

[Mriin]

"What're you sniggering at now?" Solara plopped the dish back into the sink and glanced back.

"A bunch of people are mocking up what they think the new ediraf kits are going to look like." Ana zoomed in and flipped her phone around, showing off a garish orange-yellow-blue kit. "And they're all naff."

Sol turned carefully--their Maal flat's kitchen is tiny--and squinted at the screen. "Isn't that the design from when they tried to change the flag?"

"Fuck if I know, but it's DEFINITELY ugly. And what about this one?" She scrolled the screen down a bit, not even looking.

"That's... not half bad, actually. The red-orange-yellow is definitely supposed to be the Seastone sunrise, and that's beautiful."

Ana snorted and gave Sol a little shove. "Then you aughta take me one of these days! But I can't stand splitting color and white horizontally. Looks like you washed it in the wrong load."

"That was one time!"

"I really liked that shirt, okay? But I suck at the dishes, so it's just better all 'round like this."

"We could afford to have someone do all that, you know."

"I do, and you know I like having mindless tasks around to kill time." She let a wry smirk out. "And it keeps you in with me more!"

"Heh, yeah, because it's my burning sense of responsibility for the sink that keeps me around. I don't think Tailtiu is going to be as kind when I say 'I'll be late for practice, my girlfriend wants me to take out the trash.'"

“Sounds like her problem, then.” Ana skidded her chair around and hooked an arm around Sol. “You’re the best out there, and you’ve put in all the work anyone could. What you need now is some real R&R.”

Sol just smiled and upped it to a full hug. They both knew she’d be on the field all day, every day until the Ariwana revenge match--no need to ruin the moment by saying it.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Daily 2027
BP on the road to start 2nd half
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Writer


The Commonwealth National Team will embark on the second half of World Cup Qualifying when they travel to Eastfield Lodge to face a host side struggling to keep pace in Group I. The match at the Lodger City Memorial Stadium looks to be a serious roadblock on the road to Equestria & Banija.

Eastfield comes into the match having defeated Libonesia on matchday 8 to pull level on points with the same side, although they have swept both matches. Unfortunately, those are the only two wins so far in the campaign, and it is only 3 draws which are keeping the Eastfielders in the hunt for a possible runner-up spot in the group. They are just 4 points behind Saltstead, who are unbeaten with 3 wins and 4 draws so far, but the battle behind the Stallions which will probably worth keeping an eye on, as Benjamin Mark and San Felix are just a point behind Eastfield & Libonesia.

Baker Park are looking to be in a strong position at the moment, their 16 points from the first six matches putting them behind only Bongo Johnson, Valanora and Farfadillis, all of whom came into the second half with perfect 6-0 records; the 6 point gap (prior to the latest results) to second place Saltstead was tied for the 3rd biggest margin along with the Farfs and behind the other unbeatens, and they are among the top 10 in goals scored and goal difference.

Manager Pam Scott has hinted that a few players may not see much action during the final 6 matchups, as there are diminishing opportunities for her to give everyone enough playing time, due to the fewer number of group games in this format. She added that she has pleased with everyone who have appeared in the lineup so far and hates this time of the tournament because tough decisions will need to be made.

The next match following this will be the visit of San Felix to the Prince William Stadium in Newmarket on matchday 10.

Lineup--Gordon; Briggs, Vasillias, Stephens; Haller (C), Westmoreland, Taborn, Navarro; Bozeman; Sandoval, Patton
subs--Wyatt, Foreman, Rasanamira, Yeomans, Sotolongo, Stone, Fernandez, Patton, Jones

[Qusmo]

Very important disclaimer.

I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII.

Chapter IX.

Qusmo roster sees one change for WC83Q second half

Qusma national team manager Avarn-Oxolt Ban made just one change in their roster between the first & second half of World Cup 83 Qualification, but it has quickly sparked controversy. Avarn-Oxolt announced that they would leave Blue Coast 1981 right wing forward Jralv-Nexev Pec off their twenty-five-player roster for the last six matches of the qualification campaign, instead taking Wrexton FC left wing forward Dynom-Sevet Zev. “Zev will play largely the same role as Pec has, as one of two winged forwards to use when we need them, on [left wing forward Ozolx-Mazur] Guv’s opposite side.”

However, chatter around the change erupted when Jralv-Nexev alleged that they were being dropped due to their political beliefs. “The fact is, I’m the best Qusma player at my position. I’ve been a part of this team, as part of the twenty-five, since the very first match - a match I played in, by the way - & on through the Cup of Harmony [73] bronze & the World Cup [82]. I’ve been with this team the whole way. & now, [Avarn-Oxolt] is booting me off, & not taking any player at my playing position, because they’re too afraid of my political positions.” Asked to clarify, Jralv-Nexev answered, “I’m a patriot. I love my country, I love my government, & I want this country to remain safe & great for everyone here. I guess [Avarn-Oxolt] Ban wants to see it overrun.”

Avarn-Oxolt disputed their former player’s allegations that they had been politically blackballed. “Absolutely not,” Avarn-Oxolt responded. “This is a tough job, & I’m not going to make it any tougher by tailoring the squad I have available to specific political interests. The fact is, when I put [Jralv-Nexev] Pec into matches, I expect them to score goals, & out of thirty-six caps so far, they’ve only scored once, in a friendly. [Dynom-Sevet] Zev has five times fewer starts, nine times fewer caps, yet it was [Dynom-Sevet] Zev who managed to score the winning goal against Banija in their forty-five minutes of action, while [Jralv-Nexev] Pec was again held goalless in their forty-five.”

“[Jralv-Nexev] Pec is a good player, no doubt,” Avarn-Oxolt continued, “but I’m afraid something just isn’t clicking when they’re on the national team squad. & I hope we fix that, but until then, we’re in a qualification campaign, & every point counts - & if we need a late goal in order to earn more points, I trust [Dynom-Sevet] Zev to help get us that goal.” Pressed specifically with Jralv-Nexev’s allegations, Avarn-Oxolt sighed, “I’m disappointed in [Jralv-Nexev] Pec’s attitude, frankly. They could have handled being dropped with grace, & they chose not to. They responded not with humility or a commitment to work even harder than before to prove their worth, but a vengeful attempt to sow discord in our dressing room - & that’s unacceptable for a representative of our national team.”

Indeed, Jralv-Nexev does not have a strike rate that a World Cup-quality forward perhaps ought to have. They have accumulated one goal over thirty-six matches, for a strike rate of 0.03 goals per match, & zero goals over twenty-two competitive matches, for a strike rate of precisely zero goals per competitive match. Dynom-Sevet, meanwhile, scored in the friendly against Banija after being subbed on for Jralv-Nexev at the half; it was their first goal in four national team appearances, all in friendlies. That may not be much of a sample size, but it does bode a lot better than Jralv-Nexev’s record - as the Blue Coast 1981 forward did not score until their thirty-first cap for the national team.

We also ran an analysis of Qusmo’s performances, both when Jralv-Nexev does & does not enter the match. The team performs better with Jralv-Nexev off the pitch than with them on, & the differences are especially stark in competitive fixtures. Looking just at competitive matches, Qusmo’s win rate with Jralv-Nexev is fifty full percentage points lower than its win rate without them; Qusmo scores, on average, a full goal less per match with Jralv-Nexev than without them; & Qusmo secures an average of nearly 1.3 more points per match without Jralv-Nexev than with them. We must caution that this may also be due to the fact that Avarn-Oxolt tends to send wing forwards on when they are behind & in need of a goal, & we do not know whether Dynom-Sevet will perform significantly better in that role; however, the evidence we do have so far does not look particularly rosy for Jralv-Nexev. Perhaps discord in the locker room did play a role in Avarn-Oxolt’s decision, but a lot of evidence points towards the suggestion that Jralv-Nexev should be left off Qusmo’s twenty-five-player roster, for the first time in their career.

Cap   Tournament     MD   Opponent               Result   Gl
 1    WC80 Qual.      1   Wolves Clans           W 1-0     0
 2    WC80 Qual.      4   Tumbra                 L 0-2     0
 3    WC80 Qual.     12   Gopnikea               D 0-0     0
 4    WC80 Qual.     14   Kandorith              D 0-0     0
 5    WC80 Qual.     17   Ceni                   L 1-5     0
 6    Friendly        X   Banija                 L 1-3     0
 7    Friendly        X   Baker Park             L 1-3     0
 8    CoH 72         OF   Soltsteed              D 0-0p    0
 9    Friendly        X   Qasden                 W 1-0     0
10    Friendly        X   Qasden                 L 1-3     0
11    Friendly        X   Banija                 L 0-1     0
12    WC81 Qual.      3   Savalen                L 0-1     0
13    WC81 Qual.      6   Eastfield Lodge        D 0-0     0
14    WC81 Qual.      7   Valanora               L 0-1     0
15    WC81 Qual.     10   Rakivland              D 0-0     0
16    WC81 Qual.     12   Savalen                W 2-0     0
17    WC81 Qual.     15   Eastfield Lodge        W 6-3     0
18    WC81 Qual.     16   Valanora               D 0-0     0
19    Friendly        X   Siovanija & Teusland   D 0-0     0
20    Friendly        X   Qasden                 L 3-4     0
21    CoH 73         SF   Juvencus               L 1-3     0
22    Friendly        X   Baker Park             W 1-0     0
23    Friendly        X   Filindostan            L 0-1     0
24    WC82 Qual.      5   Vartugia               D 0-0     0
25    WC82 Qual.      8   Alluersia              L 0-2     0
26    WC82 Qual.     11   Kavagrad               L 2-4     0
27    WC82 Qual.     12   Mytanija               L 1-2     0
28    WC82 Qual.     17   Alluersia              L 0-1     0
29    World Cup 82    2   Turori                 L 0-1     0
30    Friendly        X   San José Guayabal      W 4-1     0
31    Friendly        X   Bongo Johnson          W 2-1     1
32    Friendly        X   Starblaydia            L 3-4     0
33    CR XXXII        2   Pridnestrovia          D 0-0     0
34    Friendly        X   Mytanija               D 1-1     0
35    WC83 Qual.      5   Chromatika             L 0-3     0
36    Friendly        X   Banija                 W 3-1     0

Records in All Matches           W    D    L    W%   Pt/M   GF/M
All-Time Record                 59   25   39   48%   1.64   1.41
With Jralv-Nexev                 8   10   18   22%   0.94   1.59
Without Jralv-Nexev             51   15   21   59%   1.93   0.97

Record in Competitive Matches    W    D    L    W%   Pt/M   GF/M
All-Time Record                 45   18   25   51%   1.74   1.39
With Jralv-Nexev                 3    8   11   14%   0.77   0.64
Without Jralv-Nexev             42   10   14   64%   2.06   1.64

[Freeport Isles]

The Freeport Free Press
Rumor Mill: Freeport plotting Cup of Harmony bid
by Dirty Rag

Sources within the Freeport Hoofball Association report that the island nation is preparing a late bid for the Cup of Harmony, and will allegedly be partnering with nearby Busoga Islands in the endeavour. As no bid team has yet stepped forward and submitted a bid to the World Cup Committee, the FHA seems to believe that the time is right to finally bring a major international sports tournament to Freeport. Should the bid materialize and make it through the WCC's increasingly-lax host selection process, it would be the first time that Freeport has hosted any international tournament of note. Presumably, the FHA has secured the blessing of both the Council of Thirteen and Archon Sunset Shimmer to bid for the event, if the rumors of the current stage of the bid are to be believed.

The source within the FHA declined to comment on if the bid's ulterior motive is to secure Freeport a spot in the tournament as hosts regardless of if the team crashes out of World Cup 83 qualifying in the same manner as last cycle.

[Omerica]

La Ponantaise — depuis 1931
La première publication des informations de Charlottesville et Pontchâteau

---

Aldenberg resigns from the Legislative Council after an attack on recall petitioners
Iᵉʳ Levant, Charlottesville — A Charlottesvillois legislator has officially stepped down after an attack on signature collectors calling for his removal from office.

François Aldenburg, who represents the first arrondissement of Levant in the Legislative Council, has long been a controversial figure in the city. Originally elected as a representative of the centre-right Reformist Party, Aldenburg’s views on white supremacy and, more recently, LGBT rights have been a persistent thorn in the side of the Omerican right. Aldenburg was formally expelled from the Reformist Party six years ago when he voted against a ban on so-called “gay conversion therapy”, a discredited practice that has been labelled by LGBT rights activists and psychological professionals as torture. After his expulsion from the Reformist Party, Aldenburg narrowly won re-election in the arrondissement, one of Charlottesville’s most conservative, as an independent before joining the far-right Democratic Labour Party.

A concerted recall effort against Aldenburg began when he praised the presidential candidacy of Carter Redwin, calling reports on Redwin’s rhetoric “fake news”. “These reports are obviously fake,” Aldenburg stated on Twii.tur. “No one would be callous enough to say the kind of things the lying press are attributing to Redwin. These propogandists are trying to smear the best candidate South Covello has ever had.” Aldenburg has openly called for Jacob Brackers—who killed Redwin on the night of South Covello’s presidential election—to be executed, despite the fact that capital punishment is constitutionally banned in South Covello, and endorsed senator and Redwin supporter Tim Scott in the upcoming snap presidential election.

Charlottesville is one of five Omerican republics that does not require stated grounds for a recall petition, though petitioners may optionally state the reasons for the petition; petitioners cited Aldenburg’s “support for white supremacy and institutional homophobia” as grounds for the recall. The Charlottesvillois Socialist Party (the local branch of the Omerican Socialist Party), the Liberal Democratic Party, Reformist Party, Ecologist Movement, Radical Left and localist Charlottesville, il est possible! movement have all openly backed the recall petition, while the Democratic Labour Party have campaigned against it, calling it “political censorship”.

Petitioners were collecting signatures on the Rue de Nassau in the heart of the Old City when two men attempted to attack them; one pulled a knife and attempted to assault the petitioners as a distraction, while the other tried to burn the petition papers. One of the signature collectors, Anatole Germain, was able to disarm the knife attacker, while the others were able to save most of the papers from being burnt. The assailants were held by the signature collectors until the Sûreté de la République could arrive to make an arrest; the names of the assailants have not been released for legal reasons.

“I am absolutely ashamed of what happened on the Rue de Nassau,” Aldenburg stated on the floor of the Legislative Council after the news of the attack came to light. “While I absolutely disagree with those who are trying to silence me by the recall petition, they did not deserve to be attacked. It is unclear whether the petition had achieved enough signatures to force me to step down or if the attack could have had an effect on the signature collection process, but I believe the right thing to do for Omerican democracy is for me to render those questions moot and step down from the legislature by my own volition.”

“While we believe that this ‘attack’ was staged by the establishment, we support Monsieur Aldenburg’s decision,” the Democratic Labour Party’s General Secretary Domhnall Tierney stated after Aldenburg’s announcement. “Monsieur Aldenburg has been a true fighter for patriotic Omericans and has the party’s full support. The DLP will cooperate with the Sûreté in its investigation of this incident and dedicate its resources to defending Monsieur Aldenburg’s crucial seat in the Legislative Council.”

The date of the by-election will be announced by the President of the Legislative Council Anaïs Kuiper (Socialist — Vᵉ Val-du-Tibère) after consultation with party spokespersons in the Legislative Council. Aldenburg has confirmed that he will stand for re-election. ⁕

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, AM 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

---

Anthor 0–4 Omerica
World Cup 83 qualifying group stage — Matchday Six
Old Sample, Sampleville, Anthor
Goalscorers: Lucky Ashworth 12’, 49’, 55’ – George Palmeiro 38’
Omerica line-up: Drew Durant; Jet Sneyders – Emily Michelakis – Jesús Cruz – Marine Roldan; Alex Rodrigues – Sean Tester; George Palmeiro – Robin van Tyn (captain) – Martin la Rouge; Lucky Ashworth
Substitutions: Cruz > Noah Clement (58’) – Palmeiro > Adélaïde Argyris (58’) – Michelakis > Raphaël Martin (83’)

Omerica v Eraman
World Cup 83 qualifying group stage — Matchday Seven
Trailblazer Park, Sassari, Altomare
Omerica line-up: Drew Durant; Jet Sneyders – Emily Michelakis – Jesús Cruz – Marine Roldan; Alex Rodrigues – Sean Tester; George Palmeiro – Robin van Tyn (captain) – Martin la Rouge; Jean-François Fernand

---

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, AM 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

---

Omerica 0–0 Eraman
World Cup 83 qualifying group stage — Matchday Seven
Trailblazer Park, Sassari, Altomare
Goalscorers: (none)
Omerica line-up: Drew Durant; Jet Sneyders – Emily Michelakis – Jesús Cruz – Marine Roldan; Alex Rodrigues – Sean Tester; George Palmeiro – Robin van Tyn (captain) – Martin la Rouge; Jean-François Fernand
Substitutions: Tester > Georgina Bennett (46’) – Rodrigues > Thom Magalhães (46’) – Cruz > Noah Clement (79’)

Omerica v Szcerkina Federacy
World Cup 83 qualifying group stage — Matchday Eight
Stade Olympique de Syracuse, Syracuse, South Provence
Omerica line-up: Frédérique Acardi (captain); Felix Zanetti – Raphaël Martin – Noah Clement – Jodie Barton; Thom Magalhães – Georgina Bennett; Adélaïde Argyris – Alphonse Fontaine – Jessie Beckett; Morgan Barzetti

---

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, AM 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

---

Omerica 2-0 Szcerkina Federacy
World Cup 83 qualifying group stage — Matchday Eight
Stade Olympique de Syracuse, Syracuse, South Provence
Goalscorers: Morgan Barzetti 2’ – Jessie Beckett 52’
Omerica line-up: Frédérique Acardi (captain); Felix Zanetti – Raphaël Martin – Noah Clement – Jodie Barton; Thom Magalhães – Georgina Bennett; Adélaïde Argyris – Alphonse Fontaine – Jessie Beckett; Morgan Barzetti
Substitutions: Bennett > Alex Rodrigues (53’) – Martin > Emily Michelakis (67’) – Beckett > Martin la Rouge (83’)

Brigantii v Omerica
World Cup 83 qualifying group stage — Matchday Nine
Sapphire Stadium, Sampleville, Brigantii
Omerica line-up: Frédérique Acardi (captain); Felix Zanetti – Raphaël Martin – Noah Clement – Jodie Barton; Thom Magalhães – Georgina Bennett; Adélaïde Argyris – Alphonse Fontaine – Jessie Beckett; Morgan Barzetti

---

[Equestrian States]

WORLD CUP 83
EQUESTRIA & BANIJA

Qualifying - Match Day 9 Cutoff

Today's MLP-related cutoff is the fan-made episode Double Rainboom, one of the first major animation projects to come out of the fandom.

And, once again, some alternate cutoff tunes.

Results