TDT 4: What the $#@! is a "womxn", anyways?

[Cekoviu]

Tbh, I'm surprised Proctopeo didn't dispute my Vivian suggestion, since she's about as obviously trans as Lily is and there has similarly been unwarranted debate over it. I was prepared for a big ol' debate on that one and I got nothing.

I'll gladly throw down for a round two if he tries disputing that next. :3

Mario is my territory, don't encroach on it.
jk, it's good

[Torrocca]

I'll gladly throw down for a round two if he tries disputing that next. :3

Mario is my territory, don't encroach on it.
jk, it's good

no bulli ;~;
teamwork makes the dream work :3

[First American Empire]

I was recently watching a video depicting the transition journey of a transgender man. He was talking about breast removal and SRS, as well as some of the questions he still gets from people, curious about his experience. One of the questions struck me. He has been asked if he was a pretty girl pre-transition. This made me pensive and I wanted to ask, for those of you who are mid or far along on your transition, or for those wishing to weigh in, if you have ever got people asking you something like this and what was your reaction (real or hypothetical in case this is not something you’ve experienced)?

If somebody ever asked me if I "was a pretty girl pre-transition", I'd say: "I'm MtF".

[The Rich Port]

I outright told my mom that I have a boyfriend in Louisiana and that he thinks I'm pretty.

My mom didn't believe me.

Guess just cuz she's seen "nudies" on my computer she thinks I've always liked girls.

If only she understood that I want to be like these girls, not be with these girls.

But hey, baby steps. Don't want her brain to explode, I guess. =_=

[Hediacrana]

I outright told my mom that I have a boyfriend in Louisiana and that he thinks I'm pretty.

My mom didn't believe me.

Guess just cuz she's seen "nudies" on my computer she thinks I've always liked girls.

If only she understood that I want to be like these girls, not be with these girls.

But hey, baby steps. Don't want her brain to explode, I guess. =_=

Letting parents know is a big, often scary step (still have to take it myself), so good on you for mustering the courage!

Baby steps sound like the smart approach - it's what I did with those that I'm out to.

[Auzkhia]

I was recently watching a video depicting the transition journey of a transgender man. He was talking about breast removal and SRS, as well as some of the questions he still gets from people, curious about his experience. One of the questions struck me. He has been asked if he was a pretty girl pre-transition. This made me pensive and I wanted to ask, for those of you who are mid or far along on your transition, or for those wishing to weigh in, if you have ever got people asking you something like this and what was your reaction (real or hypothetical in case this is not something you’ve experienced)?

Some people thought I was a handsome man, I guess, since I tried to make my AGAB work so hard, but it was really a costume.

Sure, I might have known how to look dapper, but I was dead inside. I see old pictures of myself pre-transition, I was dead inside, especially when I was closeted, between the moment I realized and made an effort to transition.

[Dumb Ideologies]

I was recently watching a video depicting the transition journey of a transgender man. He was talking about breast removal and SRS, as well as some of the questions he still gets from people, curious about his experience. One of the questions struck me. He has been asked if he was a pretty girl pre-transition. This made me pensive and I wanted to ask, for those of you who are mid or far along on your transition, or for those wishing to weigh in, if you have ever got people asking you something like this and what was your reaction (real or hypothetical in case this is not something you’ve experienced)?

If anyone ever asked me whether I had been attractive pre-transition I'd just laugh hysterically for several minutes before giving a "no" flatter than a pre-mones chest.

[Mik Jer Amear]

This is, easily, my least favorite part of the LGBT+ community. You have no idea how many times I actually have gone "TMI, TMI", but got yelled at for "kinkshaming". In supposedly SFW spaces. When I was complaining about them telling everyone about kinks so extreme that many actual porn sites ban them. One time in someone's username.

See, every time someone has brought up being uncomfortable with a given topic, the groups I'm in apologize and change subjects. Like, there's a time and fucking place for kink conversations, and its not fucking "kinkshaming" to point that out.

My personal strategy for dealing with the "hyperwoke" crowd is to turn their own bullshit back on them.

This isn't quite the same as what you're talking about, but I once had some guy giving me the 3rd degree for killing fucking wasps that get too close to me. He was literally giving me the same degree of shit you'd expect a defender of neo-nazis to get. So I told him he was being incredibly fucking ableist because he didn't have to worry about an allergic reaction to being stung by them, whereas I did. That shut him up real quick.

In your case, I'd say something like "The current subject of conversation is getting into territory that triggers my PTSD" (you don't have to actually have it, but if it bothers you that badly, there's no better surefire way to get a hyperwoke to STFU than that, although if they press, I'd recommend being able to answer some questions about it).

I know that isn't the most morally-upstanding suggestion, but at the same time, I think its about on the same level as lying and saying "my mom died" in response to a shitty Yo Mama joke. If it teaches them a lesson about stopping being shitty, then the lie is permissible.

My mom actually is dead so I would feel 0 guilt about pulling that some time in the future. I never really thought about it, but just deadpanning with that in response to someone doing a bad yo mama bit is actually pretty tempting. (serious moment tho, don't feel too bad. It's hard w/o her but I've gotten used to it already since it was years ago.)

Okay I missed a whole lot of shit and I have many thoughts so don't mind me while I share them.



This. I feel like a lot of "You don't need dysphoria to be trans" is misinformed and thinking narrowly on the subject. Euphoria wouldn't exist without some kind of discomfort.

Not necessarily. There is a middle ground between pleasure and pain, after all, and it is possible to experience pleasure without experiencing pain very often. Just because you can fully enjoy tingles from ASMR doesn't mean you're constantly suffering the pain of a thousand paper cuts every instant you're not ASMR'ing.

I see where you're coming from. But we all know to a degree what it's like to have things that aren't pleasant to hear. We all know the nails on a chalkboard phenomenon or someone with a voice that is a little grating. Those just aren't the default state for most people (even in people with misophonia who have triggers for sounds people w/o it don't mind at all) If dysphoria is bad enough it begins to feel like a default state in a way.It did for me.

I haven't seen the T-slur get reclaimed. Reclamation involves a hell of a lot more than simply saying it has been reclaimed.

Even though the Advocate says it "hasn't been reclaimed" their cases for and against seem to indicate that it's exactly the same as queer https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertain ... ry-media-9

Case For: Words are given power by how we use them. In the same way that “faggot” and “queer” have been rebranded, should “tranny” become the “fuck you!” of trans liberation?

Case Against: We’re in an epidemic of anti-trans violence. Now is not the time to reclaim a transphobic slur.

The answer to me and others is obviously yes. And the case against is the kind of thing that would come from people decades ago who never wanted Fag or Queer reclaimed. And guess what side ended up winning that argument?

It's my word, I'm a tranny.Just like Laura Jane Grace titling her memoir as Tranny
http://www.theradicalnotion.com/tranny- ... ce-memoir/

Or Justin Vivian Bond
https://www.thestranger.com/seattle/abo ... d=19946137

Also @proct.
Have you looked at the comments on the Appabend vid you linked? I watched that one all the way through back when it was uploaded and this was all still a big dealio and also read up on all the comments. The arguments for her being trans are stronger.

I don't need to impugn anyone's character for thinking opposite of me here though. Stopped clocks are right two times a day and all that, and I'm not insecure about any dummy internet weeb agreeing with my position if they've been wrong before about other characters. I know and remember watching that episode as it was one of my favorite ones and what I saw gave me my view.

Also I find it humorous that people keep using "cultural context" as though transgender people don't also exist in Japan. A majority of people saying one thing or another isn't what makes an interpretation of art true. And you don't need to worry about mebeing an outsider "pushing an agenda" because I'm a filthy weeb just like you. Been one since forever.

[Khasinkonia]

I was recently watching a video depicting the transition journey of a transgender man. He was talking about breast removal and SRS, as well as some of the questions he still gets from people, curious about his experience. One of the questions struck me. He has been asked if he was a pretty girl pre-transition. This made me pensive and I wanted to ask, for those of you who are mid or far along on your transition, or for those wishing to weigh in, if you have ever got people asking you something like this and what was your reaction (real or hypothetical in case this is not something you’ve experienced)?

I can't say I ever fancied my reflection back before I knew I was trans. I'm not on hrt or anything unfortunately, but even now I reckon I'm scarcely a good looking man. I'm no beauty pagent winner but I'd say I make a remarkably average looking girl minus my paltry invisible chest. HRT is exciting to me because my features are relatively ungendered so hopefully that hides some nice concrete femininity to be unlocked.

[The Xenopolis Confederation]

So I had a visit with a psychologist. He told me that what I had sounds kind of like GID (though that was in contrast with hermaphroditism not necessarily in contrast to cisgenderism). He said that the feelings I was experiencing seemed obsessive and anxious and recommended anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds. He said I should see a psychologist who specialized in gender issues to get a better handle on what was going. I'm not really sure what to make of that. However, after I told my irl friend what the psych told me, he said he was less skeptical about the idea that I had GD and would be willing to use my preferred pronouns and preferred name. Though he also wants me to come out to all my friends and all my DnD buddies, and I am NOT ready for that.

[The New California Republic]

So I had a visit with a psychologist. He told me that what I had sounds kind of like GID (though that was in contrast with hermaphroditism not necessarily in contrast to cisgenderism). He said that the feelings I was experiencing seemed obsessive and anxious and recommended anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds. He said I should see a psychologist who specialized in gender issues to get a better handle on what was going. I'm not really sure what to make of that.

Should you hold off on the meds until you see the other psychologist? It depends if you think the anxiety and depression are serious enough to warrant going on the meds immediately, or whether you can see the other psychologist first to see what their recommendations are.

[The Xenopolis Confederation]

So I had a visit with a psychologist. He told me that what I had sounds kind of like GID (though that was in contrast with hermaphroditism not necessarily in contrast to cisgenderism). He said that the feelings I was experiencing seemed obsessive and anxious and recommended anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds. He said I should see a psychologist who specialized in gender issues to get a better handle on what was going. I'm not really sure what to make of that.

Should you hold off on the meds until you see the other psychologist? It depends if you think the anxiety and depression are serious enough to warrant going on the meds immediately, or whether you can see the other psychologist first to see what their recommendations are.

That's a good question. I don't really know if it would be better to take meds before I see the next psychologist. But I don't think it's urgent for me to take them, I'm not going to kill myself tomorrow or anything like that if I don't take them, and I haven't even started taking them yet, or even started to seek prescription for them. And to tell you the truth, I'm a bit hesitant with antidepressants, but I've decided it is something worth trying to see if it improves things.

[Hediacrana]

So I had a visit with a psychologist. He told me that what I had sounds kind of like GID (though that was in contrast with hermaphroditism not necessarily in contrast to cisgenderism). He said that the feelings I was experiencing seemed obsessive and anxious and recommended anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds. He said I should see a psychologist who specialized in gender issues to get a better handle on what was going. I'm not really sure what to make of that. However, after I told my irl friend what the psych told me, he said he was less skeptical about the idea that I had GD and would be willing to use my preferred pronouns and preferred name. Though he also wants me to come out to all my friends and all my DnD buddies, and I am NOT ready for that.

Well, it sounds like there's a clear path of next steps for you now, and I guess that's a good thing, right? Glad that your friend is ready to accept your pronouns/name. And who you come out to is entirely up to you, not to him.

[The New California Republic]

Should you hold off on the meds until you see the other psychologist? It depends if you think the anxiety and depression are serious enough to warrant going on the meds immediately, or whether you can see the other psychologist first to see what their recommendations are.

That's a good question. I don't really know if it would be better to take meds before I see the next psychologist. But I don't think it's urgent for me to take them, I'm not going to kill myself tomorrow or anything like that if I don't take them, and I haven't even started taking them yet, or even started to seek prescription for them. And to tell you the truth, I'm a bit hesitant with antidepressants, but I've decided it is something worth trying to see if it improves things.

You could maybe ask your doctor what they think, to get a second opinion.

[Hediacrana]

Should you hold off on the meds until you see the other psychologist? It depends if you think the anxiety and depression are serious enough to warrant going on the meds immediately, or whether you can see the other psychologist first to see what their recommendations are.

That's a good question. I don't really know if it would be better to take meds before I see the next psychologist. But I don't think it's urgent for me to take them, I'm not going to kill myself tomorrow or anything like that if I don't take them, and I haven't even started taking them yet, or even started to seek prescription for them. And to tell you the truth, I'm a bit hesitant with antidepressants, but I've decided it is something worth trying to see if it improves things.

I understand your skepticism towards depression/anxiety meds quite well (I'm on them myself, quite reluctantly). I can't tell you what you should do, as I'm not a doctor and I'm not you but things to possibly consider are: what are the side effects, how severely does your anxiety affects your quality of life (which is something that the doctor prescribing the meds likely took into consideration), how long the meds are supposed to take before you experience any positive effects, and how that timeline relates to the time of your next appointment.

Edit: TNCR's advice to ask a second opinion sounds smart, too; you could bring the questions I asked above to that doctor as well.

Speaking for myself (but of course every person is different), they have improved my well-being, despite me really not liking the idea of taking them.

[The Xenopolis Confederation]

That's a good question. I don't really know if it would be better to take meds before I see the next psychologist. But I don't think it's urgent for me to take them, I'm not going to kill myself tomorrow or anything like that if I don't take them, and I haven't even started taking them yet, or even started to seek prescription for them. And to tell you the truth, I'm a bit hesitant with antidepressants, but I've decided it is something worth trying to see if it improves things.

I understand your skepticism towards depression/anxiety meds quite well (I'm on them myself, quite reluctantly). I can't tell you what you should do, as I'm not a doctor and I'm not you but things to possibly consider are: what are the side effects, how severely does your anxiety affects your quality of life (which is something that the doctor prescribing the meds likely took into consideration), how long the meds are supposed to take before you experience any positive effects, and how that timeline relates to the time of your next appointment.

Edit: TNCR's advice to ask a second opinion sounds smart, too; you could bring the questions I asked above to that doctor as well.

Speaking for myself (but of course every person is different), they have improved my well-being, despite me really not liking the idea of taking them.

The psych didn't really solidly perscribe them, he only tentatively recommended them. But when I see the next psychologist, I'll ask them about taking meds and whether it's a good idea.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I understand your skepticism towards depression/anxiety meds quite well (I'm on them myself, quite reluctantly). I can't tell you what you should do, as I'm not a doctor and I'm not you but things to possibly consider are: what are the side effects, how severely does your anxiety affects your quality of life (which is something that the doctor prescribing the meds likely took into consideration), how long the meds are supposed to take before you experience any positive effects, and how that timeline relates to the time of your next appointment.

Edit: TNCR's advice to ask a second opinion sounds smart, too; you could bring the questions I asked above to that doctor as well.

Speaking for myself (but of course every person is different), they have improved my well-being, despite me really not liking the idea of taking them.

The psych didn't really solidly perscribe them, he only tentatively recommended them. But when I see the next psychologist, I'll ask them about taking meds and whether it's a good idea.

One thing, you may end up having to try different meds before you and your doctor find the adequate chemical treatment for you. If that happens, don’t get discouraged. Best of luck to you.

[Nakena]

Should you hold off on the meds until you see the other psychologist? It depends if you think the anxiety and depression are serious enough to warrant going on the meds immediately, or whether you can see the other psychologist first to see what their recommendations are.

That's a good question. I don't really know if it would be better to take meds before I see the next psychologist. But I don't think it's urgent for me to take them, I'm not going to kill myself tomorrow or anything like that if I don't take them, and I haven't even started taking them yet, or even started to seek prescription for them. And to tell you the truth, I'm a bit hesitant with antidepressants, but I've decided it is something worth trying to see if it improves things.

I hope it isnt SSRIs.

They get prescribed like bonbons today.

[The Xenopolis Confederation]

That's a good question. I don't really know if it would be better to take meds before I see the next psychologist. But I don't think it's urgent for me to take them, I'm not going to kill myself tomorrow or anything like that if I don't take them, and I haven't even started taking them yet, or even started to seek prescription for them. And to tell you the truth, I'm a bit hesitant with antidepressants, but I've decided it is something worth trying to see if it improves things.

I hope it isnt SSRIs.

They get prescribed like bonbons today.

I'm afraid that it was Prozac, which I think is an SSRI. What's the problem with SSRIs in your view?

[Nakena]

I hope it isnt SSRIs.

They get prescribed like bonbons today.

I'm afraid that it was Prozac, which I think is an SSRI. What's the problem with SSRIs in your view?

Theres a plethora of problems with SSRIs, from various side-effects to personality changing effects in the long run.

Don't get me wrong the med has it's uses for some people but if its getting ruthlessy overprescribed.

It's the lazy solution.

Got depressions? Here take Prozac. Done. Next patient.

[Christianita]

Disclaimer: I really don’t mean to be rude, I’m just stating my opinion here:

—God gives us our gender for a reason. If you’re male, He wants you to be male. If you’re female, He wants you to be female. Everything is done according to the word and will of God. There is a purpose for everything, and God loves you and has a plan for you. Same for every one of us. That being said, if you hear a voice inside you telling you to change your gender, it’s not from God. And if it’s not from God, it’s from the devil, telling you to corrupt your life and soul, the greatest gifts God has given us. Please don’t give into despair and evil; listen to God.

Of course, you can go ahead and try and change your gender if you like. God won’t stop you, and it is your right. But instead, you should turn to God and ask for help, and you will get it in good time.

(Feel free to disagree with me in polite discussion, and ask any questions you like/need. Please don’t take this as being mean or rude though, I am not intending to be).

[Ifreann]

Disclaimer: I really don’t mean to be rude, I’m just stating my opinion here:

—God gives us our gender for a reason. If you’re male, He wants you to be male. If you’re female, He wants you to be female. Everything is done according to the word and will of God. There is a purpose for everything, and God loves you and has a plan for you. Same for every one of us. That being said, if you hear a voice inside you telling you to change your gender, it’s not from God. And if it’s not from God, it’s from the devil, telling you to corrupt your life and soul, the greatest gifts God has given us. Please don’t give into despair and evil; listen to God.

Of course, you can go ahead and try and change your gender if you like. God won’t stop you, and it is your right. But instead, you should turn to God and ask for help, and you will get it in good time.

(Feel free to disagree with me in polite discussion, and ask any questions you like/need. Please don’t take this as being mean or rude though, I am not intending to be).

God isn't real.

[Vassenor]

Disclaimer: I really don’t mean to be rude, I’m just stating my opinion here:

—God gives us our gender for a reason. If you’re male, He wants you to be male. If you’re female, He wants you to be female. Everything is done according to the word and will of God. There is a purpose for everything, and God loves you and has a plan for you. Same for every one of us. That being said, if you hear a voice inside you telling you to change your gender, it’s not from God. And if it’s not from God, it’s from the devil, telling you to corrupt your life and soul, the greatest gifts God has given us. Please don’t give into despair and evil; listen to God.

Of course, you can go ahead and try and change your gender if you like. God won’t stop you, and it is your right. But instead, you should turn to God and ask for help, and you will get it in good time.

(Feel free to disagree with me in polite discussion, and ask any questions you like/need. Please don’t take this as being mean or rude though, I am not intending to be).

Fun fact: "It's just my opinion" doesn't make spouting hateful and unscientific bullshit OK.

[Iciaros]

Disclaimer: I really don’t mean to be rude, I’m just stating my opinion here:

—God gives us our gender for a reason. If you’re male, He wants you to be male. If you’re female, He wants you to be female. Everything is done according to the word and will of God. There is a purpose for everything, and God loves you and has a plan for you. Same for every one of us. That being said, if you hear a voice inside you telling you to change your gender, it’s not from God. And if it’s not from God, it’s from the devil, telling you to corrupt your life and soul, the greatest gifts God has given us. Please don’t give into despair and evil; listen to God.

Of course, you can go ahead and try and change your gender if you like. God won’t stop you, and it is your right. But instead, you should turn to God and ask for help, and you will get it in good time.

(Feel free to disagree with me in polite discussion, and ask any questions you like/need. Please don’t take this as being mean or rude though, I am not intending to be).

My friend, you have come to absolutely the wrong place for polite discussion. I don't mean this thread specifically so much as NationStates generally, but still. You should probably brace yourself for some less-than-friendly replies in this thread. That's something I imagine you ought to have expected, too, since you are basically demonising the way we feel.

Good luck, still. You might want to get out of here while you have the chance.

[Nakena]

Disclaimer: I really don’t mean to be rude, I’m just stating my opinion here:

—God gives us our gender for a reason. If you’re male, He wants you to be male. If you’re female, He wants you to be female. Everything is done according to the word and will of God. There is a purpose for everything, and God loves you and has a plan for you. Same for every one of us. That being said, if you hear a voice inside you telling you to change your gender, it’s not from God. And if it’s not from God, it’s from the devil, telling you to corrupt your life and soul, the greatest gifts God has given us. Please don’t give into despair and evil; listen to God.

Of course, you can go ahead and try and change your gender if you like. God won’t stop you, and it is your right. But instead, you should turn to God and ask for help, and you will get it in good time.

(Feel free to disagree with me in polite discussion, and ask any questions you like/need. Please don’t take this as being mean or rude though, I am not intending to be).

Theres different Gods some amongst us follow and adhere here. And sometimes they work in weird ways.

And then theres some who think the Devil is actually the good guy, too.