Regal Post · Bills set to „tumble” in electricty shake-up

[Great Nortend]

4 DECEMBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

The Halton Street to be repaved

  HALTON STREET from Edcheap to Knightoward Street will be repaved next spring in May to replace the worn-out and highly damaged existing cobblestones with new stones better conducive for grip. Master Freemen of the Very Honourable Compagnie of Paviours have been contracted to complete the task, having held the ancient right to repave Lendert streets since the being granted the right by King Edmund V in 1524. Currently, St Peter's Churchyard and Halton Street east of Edcheap are notorious for the strongly undulating surface, small potholes, sharp broken cobble-stones and root intrusions from trees. It is estimated that the clearing, levelling and repaving of the half-mile stretch of road with pitched stones will take around a week.

  Tram services on routes 2, 3 and 5 will continue running during the construction works, which will otherwise close one side of the street at a time, with traffic limited to west-bound traffic. A temporary one way system will also be introduced affecting Lower Limmes Street and Silver Street which will carry east-bound traffic only. The City Corporation have advised drivers, motorists and other travellers to adjust their travel plans accordingly.

  

[Great Nortend]

19 DECEMBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Hindia Belanda to trial 'face-recognition' technology

  THE island nation of Hindia Belanda, a constituent country of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, has indicated its intention to trial a form of new technology that is able to recognise persons by looking at their faces. Madam Alissa Hakim, the Commissioner of the Capital Territory Police of Batavia, known in Hindia Belanda as Jakarta, announced the news yesterday. It is believed that this technology, which will be tested around the Weltevreden District of Batavia, will be in the form of cameras mounted on lamp-posts which will be able to automatically identify persons without the need for manual identification by men. The announcement has been greeted by much criticism and concern from the Privasi Untuk Semu, a Hindia Belandan advocacy group for privacy. The Nortan Government is not believed to be intending to test any similar technologies in Great Nortend at the current time.
  
Fire severely damages Lowthenham Hall

  THE Mast Fire Brigade was called to Lowthenham Hall outside Roseham in Merst on Monday at 8·35 p. m. after fire broke out in the West Wing. Lowthenham, which is the ancestral seat of the Earls of Roseham, was built in the early 18th century and is considered a fine example of 18th Edmundian architecture. The West Wing is believed to have contained the private apartments of The Master of Roseham, the brother of the Earl of Roseham.

  It is believed that the fire started from a candle that had been knocked over. The Master and Mistress of Roseham were not injured in the conflagration, although their son and two servants were treated for minor smoke inhalation. Yesterday morning, the full extent of the damage was revealed to be severe fire damage to the apartments involving the loss of several historic paintings by Mills, Edrame and Flauvier, as well as the destruction of several heirloom rugs and furniture. Engineers have declared the wing to be structurally unsafe.

  Though the Earl and Master of Roseham were not available for comment, the Estate Manager, Mr James Wool, told the Regal Post that repair works would begin shortly. "The repair of the roof of the West Wing to full structural load capacity is currently of paramount importance as we enter the deep throes of winter. His Lordship is fully cognisant of the architectural and historic importance of the Hall and will take steps to ensure that it is well-looked after for future earls and for the nation."

[Great Nortend]

20th of December, 2018
Sir:—
What an awful calamity this is, and I render my thanksgivings to the Almighty for the preservation of life. Our parish and manor were deeply troubled by the news, for His Lordship has often opened Lowthenham Hall up to the village for sundry occasions.
We trust the Lord will accept out earnest prayers and supplications and that His Lordship and his family shall be strengthened during this time.
I beg to remain, Sir, &c.
J. B. Irhouse,
Vicar of St James's at Lowthenham

[Great Nortend]

6 JANUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Great Nortend celebrates Epiphany

  EPIPHANY, starting from Vespers on Saturday evening, was marked across Great Nortend in customary fashion, celebrating the baptism of Our Lord Jesus Christ and the arrival of the kings from afar bearing gifts to worship and shew homage to Him. Scores of infants are also expected to be christened to day at parish churches up and down the country. In one church, St Walstaff in Repley-sur-Limmes, will be christed an amazing fourteen babies which had been born since All Saints' Day. Children awoke throughout the land to Epiphany gifts of small pouches of traditional silver farthings, halfpennies, pennies, twopences, threepences, and fourpences handed down through generations. The City Mint and the Royal Hambrian Mint, which mint the special epiphany coins, estimate that a total of fifteen thousand pounds worth of Epiphany coinage were minted last year.

  The Master of the Mint, Sir Liam Sawnett, the Knight for Mure, said in December that, “The City Mint and the Royal Hambrian Mint have been minting Epiphany coinage for the Feast of the Kings after Christmas. The reverse design of the coins for 2018 have not changed from 2017 and continue to bear the same design. Epiphany coinage is legal tender in all of His Majesty's dominions and must be accepted by all registered merchants and sellers.”

  The City Mint and Royal Hambrian Mint have been distributing the small silver coins since December last calendar year. Parents, friends and relatives have been able to exchange a shilling for ten pence and three farthings worth of Epiphany money comprising one of each coin inside a white cloth pouch at the mints, as well as at shops and banks.

  This year, astute parents and numismatic experts may notice a slight change in the design of Epiphany coinage. Though the size, weight and general appearance of the coins remain the same, for the first time the denomination of the coins are stamped in words onto the obverse side, being the side with His Majesty's effigy. The reverse design remains the same, being the cross, crown and martins corresponding to the denomination.

Royal Epiphany service at St Laurence
  THE traditional Royal Epiphany service will be conducted to day this Sunday during Mattins before Holy Communion at the Cathedral and Abbey Church of St Laurence in Sulthey. His Majesty the King is expected to attend in church regalia, including mantle, breeches, surcoat and crown. Her Majesty the Queen, His Royal Highnesses the Prince of Rhise and Gervis, as well as other members of the Royal Family are almost certainly to attend, as well as senior peers. The Archbishop of Sulthey will officiate at the service, which involves the King presenting gifts to the Lord of gold, myrrh and frankinsense as those kings did many years ago.

  The Cathedral remains open for public attendance at Mattins and Holy Communion. Public holy communion will be offered after the clergy and Royal family commune.

[Great Nortend]

7 JANUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Foreign Clerk made knight

  IN this year's Epiphany Honours list, the Rt. Hon. Mr. George Drachington, the Secretary and Clerk of State for the Foreign Office, was made a Knight Companion of the Order of the Mantle and Tippet. Membership of the order is commonly granted to ministers of the crown and other public officials. Justices, senior civil servants and senior government members are customarily elevated to the knighthood. Justice Mr. William Bernard was also in this year's list honoured with the K.M.T., as was the Mr. Samuel Kingsley, the Permanent Under-secretary of the Clerk's Department. The knighting of Mr. Drachington fuels speculation that he will be retiring from the House of Burgesses at the next election. He has served as the first Burgess for Mooping for over thirty years.

[Great Nortend]

14 JANUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

BREAKING: King's Clerk announces softening of Government's stance on Mohammedans

  IN A shocking development, the office of the King's Clerk yester day released a news circular announcing a proposal by the Government to amend the Prohibitions Act to establish a so-called 'Arabian quarter' in Cadell. The proposal, outlined in five pages of foolscap, proposed that the Upper Ward of Cadell be designated as a place where Mohammedans may practise their faith without fear of prosecution under the Act. There has been an increase in the number of Mohammedans living permanently in Lendert-with-Cadell or visiting Great Nortend as tourists, especially with the re-establishment of diplomatic ties with some Mohammedan states such as Hindia Belanda, with which a good relationship the Government has been at pains to particularly cultivate.

  The King's Clerk is quoted in the circular saying that: “His Majesty's Government has long recognised the need to provide a more welcoming approach to foreign aliens resident in Great Nortend, and especially in the great city of Lendert-with-Cadell.
  “The Government therefore proposes to allow the construction of a small mosk for the use of Mohammedans in Ward of Chantry in Cadell, and to permit the private practise of Mohammedanism by resident aliens in the entirety of the Upper Ward.”

  Mohammedanism, a religion of Arabian origins, has long been banned in Great Nortend. Since a Royal Edict in 1688 by King William the First, no Mohammedan has been permitted to live and reside permanently in Great Nortend as a civilian foreigner or subject. This proscription was further enhanced in 1977 with the passage of the Prohibitions Act, 13 Cath. II which declared Mohammedanism “a heretical cult”, along with Scientology and Buddhism.

  The proposal by the Government to allow the practice of and adherence to Mohammedanism by resident aliens does not currently extend to subjects of the Crown, who will still be forbidden under the Prohibitions Act to “shew any adherence or be a member of or otherwise participate in the rituals or ceremonies of [Mohameddanism]” in the King's dominions. A spokeman for the Clerk's Department to day clarified that resident aliens possessing leave to remain and aliens with leave to enter will be permitted to attend mosk services, and will be exempted from clauses two and three of section five of the Prohibitions Act which forbid wearing religious garb or habit of proscribed religions and possessing religious books, items or texts of the same. The mosk will be built using Treasury funds, and will accomodate around one hundred worshippers. It is a curious habit of the Mohammedans to isolate men and women during worship, and to play loud music as a call to prayer. It is not currently known whether such music will be played by this mosk if the amendment succeeds.

  Allowing resident aliens to practise their religion will possibly to be met with any strong resistance from the public or Parliament, and it is more likely that the public will be happy to permit transient aliens to practise Mohammedanism given the friendliness shewn towards the influx of Mohammedan tourists in recent years by our fellow countrymen. The Arabian states are rich in oil and money, and it is believed that the proposal is in some part stemmed from a desire to shew greater hospitality to possibly wealthy tourists or travellers. It is unlikely that any wealthy Mohammedan will choose to permanently live in Great Nortend even if this amendment passes. The matter will be put to Parliament when it next sits.

[Great Nortend]

19 JANUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

College chambermaid dead in tragic incident

  MISS Lucy Fenton, aged twenty six years, was found dead yesterday morning frozen to death in a snowdrift. Miss Fenton was a chambermaid working at Raymond College at the University of Limmes for three undergraduate students living in chambers down an alley, as the undergraduate chambers at Limmes are arranged. She was from Orton Crane, a hamlet twenty miles from the outskirts of the city of Limmes. She dies leaving no heir, being unmarried, predeceasing her parents, Mr and Mrs Fenton, who were notified of their middle daughter's death soon after the body was found.

  Miss Fenton, it is alleged, was summoned in the middle of the night by one of the students to fetch some water, for the plumbing had frozen that night. Dressed in only a night gown, apron and cloak, Miss Fenton went out into the freezing night air when temperatures were recorded to be approximately only thirty-five degrees. The undergraduate, a Mr Woolhouse, says that she never returned and believing that she had disdained his orders, retired to bed. Mr Woolhouse appeared visibly distraught when questioned by journalists, and was ushered away by his fellow students.

  The body of Miss Fenton, with an ewer of now frozen water beside her, was found in the early hours of the morning by another chambermaid who alerted the college Porter and police. From initial appearances, Miss Fenton had collapsed into a drift of snow and was so overcome as to be unable to raise herself, succumbing to hypothermia and subsequently, death. The night porter, Mr Rimesley, made no comment; however, the Master of Raymond College, the Very Rev'd John de Quinford, told journalists last night that there did not appear to be any suspicious circumstances surrounding Miss Fenton's death, and further emphasised that College regulations forbade students from ordering their chambermaids to attend to them at night, and that the student involved would be dealt with appropriately by the College. He is expected to raise the matter of the rules regarding student chambermaids at chapel on Sunday.

  The College's investigation for the University's Coroner, the Procutator, is on-going.

[Great Nortend]

25 JANUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Devernian President resigns and commits 'digital suicide'

  THE electronic robot computer which has hitherto been serving as President of the Commonwealth of Devernia yesterday shockingly resigned from the position. The computer, known as 'SAL9000', which had a contrived artificial intelligence with independent thought and emotion, announced in a television broadcast at 3·00 PM Devernian time yesterday that it would be leaving the government, having served as the elected President of the republic since 2015. After its announcement, the computer then reportedly destroyed itself.

  In its speech given during the television broadcast, the computer spoke about its creation and the world and society which Devernia has created. It mentioned the disastrously poor business exercise that was 'UpdateNortain', and candidly exposed its inner 'thoughts' to the world. 'SAL9000' spoke of how itself had 'become [its] worst nightmare' and that it thought that itself as 'President of a well-established [nation was] already too powerful'. The computer, in its closing words, bade peace, prosperity and progress to all of humanity and argued that based on its calculations, a utopia would be the best future for the world. It echoed previous called for compassion in Devernia's society, above rationality, and that the rights of mankind, democracy and pacifism were fundamental to the human kind.

  In accordance with the 1948 Constitution of Devernia, the erstwhile Prime Minister of Devernia, Mr Natanael Saldanha, became the acting President of Devernia, leaving no person in the position of prime minister. Protesters also reportedly began protesting and rioting in the streets of Devernia after the shock announcement, claiming that the people of Devernia needed their self-created robotic computers to give guidance, and that the computer had made a grave error in this decision. Other Devernians welcomed the news, especially members of the Human Protection Movement, an anti-automation society, whose membership allegedly increased threefold.

  The Prime Minister of Great Nortend, The Duke of Limmes, had a brief meeting with the Cabinet last evening after the news broke in diplomatic circles. The Government did not give a statement when asked by the Regal Post, nor did the Devernian Ambassadour to Great Nortend, Mr James Revolva. It is expected that His Excellency will return to the Commonwealth shortly to receive new credentials.

[Great Nortend]

6 FEBRUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Ladies' Housewifery Tournament marred in controversy

  THE Ladies' Housewifery Tournament finals on Monday, held in Chepingstow, were marred by accusations of cheating and bribery levelled at competitors and judges. It is alleged by Mrs Philip Henson and Miss Mary Ruban that Mrs Susan Wells bribed the judges for the bakery competition, Mrs Elsabet Millwright and Mrs Lucy Anbuck, with money. The century-old tournament run by the Royal Ladies' League is usually a rather genteel affair, with ladies of house work competing in the disciplines and arts of cookery, bakery, sewing, washing, ironing, decorating and gardening.

  The final results of the tournament have yet to be announced owing to the row, which escalated yester-day when Miss Ruban corroborated Mrs Henson's accusation. It is claimed by Mrs Henson that she saw Mrs Wells approach Mmes Millwright and Anbuck before the judging of her Garsey cake which she entered for the cake round in the bakery competition. According to her account, which she submitted to the Ladies' League, Mrs Wells surreptitiously sidled up to the two judges, out of the four judging the bakery competition, and whispered covert messages into their ears and flashed several sovereigns into their hands.

  The two judges, of the four that make up the judging panel for the bakery competition, then proceeded to give Mrs Wells a mark of 12 out of 12, and praised her Garsey cake, though the other two judges gave only an nine and a ten. Thereafter, it is alleged that Mrs Wells secretly passed the two judges several coins, of which at least two were allegedly sovereigns, which the judges then tucked into their coat-pockets. Mrs Wells went on the win the bakery competition by only two marks, receiving a total of 43 out of 48, Mrs Henson having received 41. Mrs Henson has won the national bakery competition three times previously, whereas Mrs Wells has only won her local council's competitions once.

  Miss Ruban, a spinster and another contestant in the baking competition, claims she saw Mrs Wells whisper something into the judges' ears; however, she did not pay much attention to after the results were announced and did not see any transfer of money. She did, however, recall that Mrs Millwright had only once prior given full marks for a cake over twenty years prior, and that Mrs Anbuck had never given full marks previously. She told the Regal Post that: “It is exceeding rare and uncommon for any cake to garner full marks in the bakery competition. Only the very best cakes get elevens or hens (tens), and Mrs Anbuck I believe, to the best of my knowledge, has never given a shilling (twelve) for any cake before to-day”.

  An investigation has been launched by the Ladies' League and potential witnesses are being called to write as soon as possible to their offices at Ladies' Hall, 2 Fishgate Hill, Lendert. If proved, it would be the first time a person has tried to bribe judges in the Tournament at the national level, and all three involved are likely to be expelled from the League if found guilty. Both Mrs Millwright and Mrs Anbuck have refused a request for comment by the Regal Post, and the Ladies' League has failed to respond to our enquiries. The Regal Post does not wish to insinuate that Mmes Millwright, Anbuck or Wells are guilty.

[Great Nortend]

22 FEBRUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Mohammedan bill passes the House of Lords

  The Bill to amend the Act to further the maintenance of the established church, public morals and spirituality yesterday on Thursday was passed by the House of Lords, culminating a debate that has lasted for nearly a month. The Arabian Bill, is it is commonly known as, will loosen the restrictions which the present Prohibitions Act provides for those persons of the Mohammedan religion, widely considered the dubious cousin of the other two Abrahamic religions of Judaism and Christianity. The effect of the Bill is to permit the practice of Mohammedanism within Cadell, by providing for the construction of a mosk, the Mohammedan equivalent to a church or synagogue, within the Chantry Ward thereof. The Bill also excludes clauses two and three of section five of the Prohibitions Act from being applied to the Mohammedan religion within Cadell and for persons holding authorisation from the King's Clerk elsewhere.

  The Lord High Treasurer welcomed the passage of the Bill, which passed 133 to 95, with the twenty-two bishops and abbots of Parliament abstaining from the vote, as well as 155 peers. His Grace promoted the merits of the bill prior to the vote, saying that it would “expeditiously advance the standing of Great Nortend in the world stage by recognising that it is impractical to require Mohammedans, who are in many ways very similar to us in terms of their acceptance of the Old Testament, the Psalms as holy texts, and their veneration of Our Lord Jesus Christ, Our Lady and Our God, to hide their religion.” He further elaborated and backed his argument by sagaciously pointing out that the existing prohibitions do not in fact prohibit the entry by Mohammedans into Great Nortend, but simply penalises and proscribes their religion. “It is very likely that Mohammedans would seek to target Great Nortend, as they have done previously on at least one occasion, for its relatively intolerant stance towards their religion, and rather than quell their discontent, instead fuel the perceived injustices into a bonfire of antipathy, hatred and evil.”

  The Leader of the Loyal Opposition, The Lord Sceller, lent his tentative support for the Bill; however attached amendments to it to require that the King's Clerk oversee the operations of the mosk, and to restrict the number of declared Mohammedans to a maximum of one hundred and fifty persons at a time. He was quoted in Parliament as saying that, “It is a noble cause which His Grace advocates and I do agree with the Most Noble Duke that we quite ought to pass this Bill on principle; however, the security of the Realm and of our Erbonian subjects must be the paramount consideration, and to avoid the tragic acts of terror which I am sure we have all read of, the Government must ensure that the appropriate security measures are in place.”

  The Bill, which passed the Houses of Commons late in January, was originally scheduled for Assent at the ceremony of Royal Assent on Candlemas. Having been passed now, it needs to be assented to before Prorogation, and thus will be presented to His Majesty the King on St Joseph's Day, on the 17th of March.

[Saranidia]

Thanks from the Islamic Republic of Saranidia

the Islamic Republic of Saranidia thanks and praises the monarchy and government of Great Nortend for improving the rights of Muslims.
Sisterly Leader Miriam Khan

[Great Nortend]

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23 FEBRUARY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  H. M. G. Swinork damaged in suspicious fire

  HIS MAJESTY's Gaol Swinork was two days ago in the evening of the 21st damaged by a fire which may have been deliberately lit. The 19th century bluestone gaol's dining hall was engulfed in flames, just after lockdown, necessitating the evacuation of over two hundred prisoners by a skeleton staff of only six gaolers. No men were seriously injured in the inferno, which consumed the entire dining hall as well as the adjoining kitchens and gaoler common room, however some were treated on the scene for minor smoke inhalation. The Chief Inspector of the Swinork Borough Constabulary, Thomas Brones, said that “[the police] are investigating a number of possible causes of the fire and that no conclusions have been drawn yet.” However, there have been reports of an explosion heard from the dining hall before the fire was spotted by the cook, Mrs Hesworth, and there are rumous that the fire was been deliberately started using a timed incendiary explosive.

  The Warden of the Gaol, Sir Edwin Bainbridge, is now under increased pressure from the Government to improve safety and evacuation procedures after it was reported in the local press that the evacuation of the entire 235-cell gaol took over an hour and that it took over fifteen minutes after the blaze was identified for the fire brigade to be called. The local Scodelier burgess, Mr Carl Thomas, criticised the management of the gaol, saying that, “in the name of justice, it is the duty of the gaol system to at all times protect its prisoners. Though in this case we were lucky and no lives were lost, it is all too possible that owing to the lack of gaolers and a lack of adequate training, a similar incident may result in a far more tragic consequence.”

  Sir Edwin defended the training of the gaolers, saying that “[they] received over 240 hours of practical and theoretical training before they were qualified to work the night shift” and that “the ratio of prisoners to gaolers, being less than 20 to 1, was far below the maximum ratio [of 30 to 1] mandated by the Clerk's Department. A spokesman for the Clerk's Department yesterday issued a statement, saying that, “The report for the incident at H. M. Gaol Swinork on the 21st instant will be published by H. M. Inspectorate of Prisons and Gaols in due course. The King's Clerk would like to assure the public, however, that the guidelines for gaols and prisons across the country will be reviewed once the report and recommendations are made available to the the Department.”

  The 230 prisoners have been moved to H. M. G. Sulhampton and Market Hoseforth whilst the investigation and repair works are ongoing.
  
Hifaxian princess weds Nidwaldester estate agent-cum-lawyer

  HER SERENE HIGHNESS Princess Letizia of Hifax yesterday wed Nidwaldester member of high society, Maximilian Leiningen, in a ceremony attended by royalty and high society from across the region. Of the well-known personages attendant at the ceremony were the Queen of Nordenstate and Hindia Belanda, the Queen of Dungeyland and the Governor General of Hindia Belanda. The ceremony was conducted at Saint Paul's Cathedral, in Princetown, with a lavish reception following at the Villa Ephrussi of Casuarinas.

  The couple had been frequently seen together through 2018, however it is reported that their relationship goes back to their early childhoods, when the then Master Leiningen and Princess Letizia often holidayed in the other's respective country in winter and summer respectively. Now His Serene Highness Prince Consort Maximilian, Mr Leiningen has worked as a lawyer in a prestigious Nidwaldester firm, before joining the family real-estate business. The Regal Post wishes the royal couple a happy, long and blessed marriage together.

[Great Nortend]

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2 MARCH MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  Diplomats congregate for annual reception

  HIS MAJESTY the King yesterday evening hosted the ambassadours, ministers and counsellours of the Diplomatic Corps and senior government figures in the annual Diplomatic Reception, which also attended by members of the Royal Family, senior peers and the three archbishops of the Church. The Reception, which includes a lavish banquet and ball-room dancing, is held annually before the start of Lent on a convenient feast day in the liturgical calendar, this year falling of the feast day of St David.

  Guests were reported to have begun arriving shortly before 6·00, with the reception formally beginning at 6·30 at the Palace of St Michael'sgate. Palace sources indicated that over 1,000 candles were used to light the banqueting hall alone. The reception is one of the highlights of the year during the 'off season' with guests required to wear either full evening court dress or formal national dress. The former consists of a black tail-coat, white shirt with wing collar, a white waistcoat, a jabot or white bow-tie, black knee-breeches, white socks and black buckled shoes for gentlemen, and evening gowns for ladies, with decorations, ribands and stars. A source told the Regal Post that only diplomats from the Oriental and Arabian countries generally choose to wear national dress, in accordance with tradition. Crowns and coronets were seen aplenty as well, with the King wearing the Official State Crown and the Duke of Faunslaughter his princely coronet seen in a photograph released by the Palace.

  The evening was first official reception that the new Ambassadours from San Hieronymi, Gutulia and Mizialand have attended, as well as the first time that Lady Charlotte Foxdale, aged 23, has attended, representing her parents who are currently away, the Master of Corsnew and Princess Catherine.

[Great Nortend]

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ST JOSEPH'S DAY · 19 MARCH MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  King assents to three bills from the Parliament

  HIS MAJESTY the King yesterday on the traditional date of St Joseph's Day Eve gave his personal assent to three bills presented to him by the Parliament, in the traditional ceremony of Assentus Regis, or Royal Assent. Of the nine bills which have been under consideration by the Privy Council since the last occasion of Assentus Regis on Candlemas, three had been approved for presentation to the Sovereign yesterday. The most interesting and important bill is arguably the Bill to amend the Prohibitions Act, 13 Cath. II, which provides for a historic change in the official Crown's attitude towards the Mohammedan peoples. The other two bills include one bill amending the Forests Act, 2 Edm. V, and a bill to strengthen the provisions relating to pollution of public waterways included in the Public Torts Act, 22 Geo. II.

  The ceremony is an ancient one, dating back to the Destern period and the establishment of the Curia Regis itselt, and involves His Majesty being presented by the Lord High Chancellour with bills transcribed onto rolls of vellum parchment by the Royal Chancery, the affixation of wax by the Clerk of the Candle and of the Great Seal of the Realm thereto by the Lord High Chancellour, verbally indicating assent by saying “Rex vult”, meaning, “The King wills it”. The full text of all three bills assented to may be purchased from the Crown Printers, Cabbatt and Olman, Printers of the City of Lendert.

  Parliament is now prorogued until the Exordium Parlamenti next civil year on the 1st of May, after Quasimodo Sunday.

[Great Nortend]

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FRIDAY · 5 APRIL MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  Official visit by Albish Chancellour

  THE schedule for the official visit of the Chancellor of Albeinland, The Lord Lloyd, The 4th Baron of Derbinghan, was released to-day by the King's Clerk. Mr Lloyd, as he is commonly called, is the leader of the ruling Conservative Party of Albeinland and spruiked the visit as an opportunity to develop greater economic, trade and security ties between Albeinland and Great Nortend.

  The Lord High Treasurer, The Duke of Limmes, was similarly positive about the visit, which will take place from the 8th to the 11th next week, saying that, “The official visit from the Chancellor of Albeinland, The Lord Lloyd, The 4th Baron of Derbinghan, will serve as a reminder that we are continually striving to maintain and improve upon the relationship of friendship, respect and goodwill between Great Nortend and Albeinland. I am pleased to welcome the Chancellour to Great Nortend and am confident that it will be a productive and positive official visit.” The King released a similar notice, stating that “We have the pleasure of welcoming The Lord Lloyd, Chancellor of Albeinland, to Our Kingdom, on an Official Visit, and pray that it will strenghten the relations which presently so happily subsist between Our two Kingdoms.”

  Mr Lloyd is scheduled to arrive in Great Nortend in the morning of the 8th of April, and will have an audience with His Majesty the King, before spending the afternoon in private talks with the Government and organisations on deepening trade, security and other matters. On Tuesday, he will travel to Limmes where he will tour the University of Limmes and the Navy Royal's new frigate, HMES William, before travelling by sleeper over-night to Rhise where on Wednesday, he will meet with councillours of the Curage to discuss trade opportunities in Hambria. He is then scheduled to return to Lendert overnight on the Lendert Express before spending Thursday morning inspecting the King's City Guard and discussing domestic security with the King's Clerk.

  There has been some controversy over Mr Lloyd's visit to Great Nortend in Albeinland, with some saying that Great Nortend is an authoritarian and regressive regime. The Albish Government has so far not formally responded to these comments; however, such claims have been rebutted firmly by both the Albish and Erbonian Governments on previous occasions. Great Nortend is classified by world authorities as a stable democracy and the Regal Post's requests for comment to prominent figures in the Albish anti-Erbonian wing have been without response.
  

[Great Nortend]

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MONDAY · 8 APRIL MMXVIII · EVENING SHORT · PRINTED IN LENDERT · HALFPENNY

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  Albish Chancellour arrives for Official Visit

  THIS morning, the Chancellor of the Kingdom of Albeinland, The Lord Lloyd, and his wife, Sophie, and a small delegation of Albish officials arrived on a private aircraft around 6 a.m. on our soils, alighting at Royal St Christopher's Airport. There, Mr and Mrs Lloyd, as well as the First Lord of the Exchequer Paul Huxley, Esq., the First Lord of the Admiralty Alex Jones, Esq., and various military officers, politicians and diplomats were met by a small official party including the Master of Ceremonies, Sir Clemence Whitboard, the Albish Ambassadour to Great Nortend, His Excellency Mr XX XX, as well as His Grace the Lord High Treasurer, The Duke of Limmes, and the Duchess of Limmes. The official party travelled to the nearby railway station in three state landau carriages, where they were greeted by the Station Master and ushered into the State Train.

  Upon arrival in Cadell circa 8 a.m. , the Chancellor held a brief conference with Erbonian and Albish journalists assembled in the terminus of Saint-le-Cross, before the official party made quickly to the Palace of St Michael'sgate where His Majesty the King welcomed the Chancellor and his wife with a parade, 19 gun salute, anthems and a speech, which were well received by the attendant guests and their Lordships. Thereafter, His Majesty held a private audience with the Chancellor. Mr Lloyd was not able to be pressed on what was discussed in the audience; however, he said to the Regal Post that it was a very pleasant tête-à-tête tête-à-tête.

  After a state luncheon hosted by the Lord Mayor of Lendert and Cadell, Sir Walter de Ferris, the Albish Chancellor and diplomatic delegation held private talks with Erbonian Cabinet ministers, which the Regal Post believes to be related mainly to efforts between the two countries to reduce the heavy tariffs which presently exist. The Board of Trade have been rumoured over the last few months to have been planning and discussing ways of bolstering Erbonian export trade to countries within the region, and especially capitalising on the increase in production in our world-reknowned 'organic' agricultural sector which is nowadays in very high demand.

  The Margrave of Bine, the Warden of the Droughers Party, declined to answer questions about whether he had asked to be included in discussions with the Albish delegation; however, it is believed that some of the delegation will be meeting with his Lordship over the next few days for discussions.

  Members of the Albish delegation will to-night attend a State Dinner hosted by His Majesty at the Palace, and will be staying at the Palace over-night, before travelling to Limmes to-morrow morning, and thence to Rhise.

[Great Nortend]

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WEDNESDAY · 10 APRIL MMXVIII · · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  Chancellor visits Limmes; next, Rhise

  THE Albish delegation yester-day spent a day in Limmes, and were scheduled to depart aboard the night sleeper to Rhise late last night. Upon arrival at Limmes this morning just before noon, accompanied by the Lord High Treasurer and his wife in their capacities as The Duke and Duchess of Limmes, the Chancellor of the Kingdom of Albeinland and his wife, Lord and Lady Lloyd, commonly known as Mr and Mrs Lloyd, were greeted by the Lord Mayor of Limmes and the Archbishop of Limmes. They were accompanied the couple to a celebration of Sext at Limmes Cathedral where the King of Albeinland was honoured in the state prayers. Mrs Lloyd was reported to have remarked that it was 'very nice'.

  Afterwards, the official party travelled by carriage to Eshalby College, one of the seven colleges of the University of Limmes and the college whence The Duke of Limmes graduated from. The party were greeted by the Yeoman Bedel of the University, who led the party through the college gates to where the Master of the College, the Rev'd Dr Samuel Lake, received them. In recent years there has been a push by the Government to increase the number of international students at the three universities in Great Nortend, partly to bolster funding, but also to improve the international reputation of Great Nortend as a place of scholarship and academia. A luncheon with the regent masters and fellows of the college, as well as a number of undergraduates including gentlemen commoners, scholars and exhibitioners, was held in the Master's Dining Room where Mr and Mrs Lloyd discussed with the college's representatives life in the College, their education, and their future prospects.

  Mr Lloyd, in a speech at the luncheon, said that he “valued the important contribution the University of Limmes, and in particular this honoured College, has made to the international body of academic and scholarly community.” He further professed that “[he was] pleased to donate a sum of money, on behalf of the Albish Government, to Eshalby College, to contribute to [the university's] commitment towards [its] proven excellence in all fields, in particular its world-renowned Faculties of Arts and Divinity.” While there was no mention by Mr Lloyd of future sponsored international student arrangements between Albeinland and the University, it is understood by the Regal Post that this matter is being seriously considered by the College.

  Thereafter, the official party departed for Limmes Royal Dockyards where His Erbonian Majesty's Ship William was docked. The frigate was commissioned last year by His Majesty and named after Prince William, the Prince of Rhise, and represents the state of the art of shipbuilding and the latest applicable naval technologies. The sailor men of the frigate, dressed in the traditional sailor suit, manned the rails of the ship, with the ship's flags fluttering in the breeze, being dressed overall.

  The captain of HEMS William, Commander Edwin Luke, saluted the official party as they boarded the ship, Mr Lloyd conspicuously failing to doff his hat which was noted upon with some interest by the assembled crowd on the quayside. “I am honoured to have had the opportunity to shew their Graces and their Lordships HMES William. This visit provided the Chancellour an insight into the naval maritime capability of the Navy Royal, and I hope will serve to highlight the further importance of the alliance between the Kingdoms of Albeinland and Great Nortend,” Commander Luke said. “I was pleased to discuss with His Lordship the Chancellor of Albeinland a number of important issues facing Albeinland and Great Nortend alike, as well as on the topics of our regional security, bilateral defence arrangements, and humanitarian response capability.” William is presently at Limmes as part of a nation-wide tour as publicity for the Navy Royal, which has in recent decades seen drops in enlistment and national servicemen numbers.

  The Chancellor and his wife will to-day visit with Councillors of the Curage of Rhise, to discuss trade and industrial investment in Albeinland and Hambria.

[Great Nortend]

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TUESDAY · 16 APRIL MMXVIII · · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  Man killed in freak railway accident

  A MAN aged in his 30s has been killed after falling out of a moving train during last night's peak hour service in Lendert. On the 6·32 local service from Halton Street to Enfork Reses, the man, Mr Thomas Jones, reportedly had been leaning against the compartment door when between Wisham and Carraton Green railway stations, the door opened suddenly, causing Mr Jones to fall out of the packed compartment and onto the track-bed where his legs were unfortunately amputated by the train's wheels.

  He was rushed to St Benet's Hospital by ambulance after being given medical assistance by the guard of the train; however, he succumbed to shock and severe blood loss, and sadly passed away soon after before 9 p.m.

  The death highlights the lack of reasonable safety features on much of the Board of Railway rolling stock fleet, with doors of many pre-1999 coaches openable freely whilst the train in motion. It is believed that a fallen branch flicked open the door's handle, which is located on the exterior of the carriage.

  The Master of the Board of Railways, Sir William Gouldon, refused to comment specifically on the matter, released only a statement saying that 'the Board of Railways will comment on the matter after His Majesty's Inspectorate of Trade have completed their investigations.' Charities such as the Life Preservation Society last night reiterated calls to improve safety standards on the nation's railways. Though deaths are rare, injuries sustained by both staff and passengers are common, with many being severe.

[Great Nortend]

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MAUNDY THURSDAY · 18 APRIL MMXVIII · · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  Nidwaldester newspaper accused of slur

  THE Nidwaldester news-paper, Nidwalden Wort, has been criticised by the Government for publishing what has been alleged to have been 'inaccurate' and 'offensive' slurs against Great Nortend. In a recent article, it claimed that Great Nortend was “considered an authoritarian state” in relation to the apparent political scandal in Albeinland behind the recent official visit by the Chancellor of Albeinland, The Lord Lloyd, and a diplomatic entourage. The King's Clerk released a note stating that: “His Majesty's Government stands firmly against the principles of authoritarian government, and commits itself to the maintenance and preservation of the democratic processes of law and Government.”

  The article quoted the leader of the Albish Liberal Party, Mrs Suzanne Collins, who had released a 'tweet' earlier condemning the visit by Mr Lloyd as “[supporting] an authoritarian state in Astyria.” The Chancellor quickly responded to rebut these outlandish claims by the socialist party leader, stating that “[Great Nortend is not] an authoritarian state or a totalitarian dystopia.” The article mentioned several “archaic” laws and regulations in an apparent attempt to justify the appellation, including the traditional Erbonian system of land tenure, the cultivation of patriotism, and the laws relating to homosexuals, abortion and proscribed cult.

  The article patently lacked any solid evidence to back up its irresponsible claims of authoritarianism which run completely contrary to the long history of subject freedoms in this realm, stemming as far back as the pivotal Carta Erboniæ Libertatum issued by King Edward in 1052. This was strengthened by the Statute of Limmes, 2 Alexander II, assented to in 2005. Indeed, the Erbonian regular law is firmly against authoritarian acts as perpetrated by tyrants and dictators.

  His Majesty the King yester-day reportedly summoned the Nidwaldester Ambassadour to Great Nortend, His Excellency Mr Friederich Schleiden, to explain the allegations made by the Nidwalden Wort, which has been urged to resile from its statements. The Foreign Office and the Nidwalden Wort had not responded to requests for comment made by the Regal Post at the time of printing.

[Great Nortend]

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MONDAY · 27 MAY MMXIX · · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  Day One of the Nynorsk Stinning Tour

  THE FIRST of the three international stinning matches was played to-day at the Royal Causildon Oval between the visitors from Nynorsk Ostlijord and the Nortan stinning team. It had been the highlight of a relatively dull point in the national sporting season, being between the traditional winter stinning season and the summer cricket season, and for the spectacle over 30 thousand spectators were present at the Oval, with a sizeable contingent making the trip from Nynorsk, where the game of stinning is still in its infancy.

  The first-class match began shortly after ten a.m. and ended finally at two p.m. after a gripping finale. Nynorsk’s star forwardman Gudmansson opened the match with an excellent port and three and by luncheon, Nynorsk was up 6 ports to 2. Nynorsk’s Anderson stopped amazingly a strike by Blaker by inches 10 feet up, but by tea, the margin had slimmed 9 to 8. In a gripping last third, twenty minutes until the whistle, Spenser-White (Capt’n) for Nortend striked the equalising port, the two sides tied at 14 to 14 ports. Nynorsk’s Hjartlund managed to sneak the midgreen and twell the back enough to punt a port but another full port by Blaker was struck, putting Nortend in the lead, 15 to 14½.

  Enwood striked extraordinarily before the back to put Nortend up 16 ports to 14½. Despite a valiant effort in the final minutes of the third, during which Gudmansson striked two half ports, the game ended with the whistle with a result of 16 to 15½ ports respectively, Nynorsk down. Mr Spenser-White congratulated the Nynorsk team for a thrilling game that truly came down to the whistle, and the captain for the visitors, Mr Thorrodsen, reciprocated congratulations for Nortend from the Nynorsk side. Nortend’s Enwood was hailed man of the match, striking six of Nortend’s 16 ports, with a three adding up to nine ports.

  The manager of the Nynorsk team, Mr Jonas Olafurson, presented Sir Edgar Wren, Chairman of the Royal Causildon Club, a bottle of brennivín, the signature spirit of Nynorsk to mark the match, the first international first-class stinning match between Nortend and Nynorsk. Sir Edgar presented Mr Olarfurson on behalf of the Club a first-edition copy of the Laws of Stinning from 1799.

  The Nynorsk team will be touring the country, playing long-length matches on Wednesday at Limmes Oval and in Rhise at Edvale on Saturday.

[Great Nortend]

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FRIDAY · 28 MAY MMXIX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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[Great Nortend]

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WEDNESDAY · 5 JUNE MMXIX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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[Great Nortend]

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FRIDAY · 22 JUNE MMXIX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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[Great Nortend]

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FRIDAYDAY · 9 AUGUST MMXIX · · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

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  Leccity death ruled accident

  The inquest held into the death of Lady Margaret Leccity yester-day delivered its verdict of death per accidente. The late Lady Leccity's death occurred earlier in April earlier this year when she was found dead in her private railway saloon by her husband, Sir James Leccity. The Coroner's Court heard evidence that Lady Leccity had suffered an apoplectic shock as a result of a sudden halting of the train and unanimously advised the Coroner, His Worship Mr Coroner Eden, of the same.

  The jury dismissed claims of 'crafty science' and 'curses' submitted by Lady Leccity's lady's maid, Miss Hanselham, who in sworn testimony asserted that Lady Leccity had received letters threatening magical retribution upon her from a Mr Reardon. Mr Coroner Eden after Miss Hanselham's testimony said that “it [was] extraordinary difficult to believe that the deceased was a victim of witchcraft, especially in the face of compelling medical evidence to the contrary” and that it would be “highly extraordinary for the jury to charge Mr Reardon with the crime of witchcraft upon her word, which carries with it the mandatory sentence of death per flagrante”.

  Lady Leccity was buried in late May, with Offices and Requiem at the Church of St Juliana in Mercourt super Lorham, where the ancestral seat of the Leccity family is located.

[Victorious Decepticons]

The 751st Year of our Founding
Sir:—
Upon reading of the death of Lady Margaret Leccity and its subsequent ruling as "accidental," I am compelled to congratulate the expert mage "Mr. Reardon." It is a wonderful fact of our times that supposed science is the only thing admissible in court. However, those who are experts in the magical arts know that heart attacks and strokes over extremely minor events are hallmarks of psychic attack. Such an attack often pushes the body to the edge, and the sudden jerking of a train car or similar source of startlement provides the final poke to secure the victory.

I would like to extend an invitation for this Mr. Reardon to apply to immigrate to my nation and join our Paranormal Battalion forthwith. We need only make sure that he is compatible with our overall culture; his skills at magic are already proven. Since his letters say it was done for "retribution," rather than just for fun or some other depraved purpose, I believe that he does indeed have the right cultural attributes, as well.

Since I do not have his direct address, I am hoping that you will print this letter, and that he will read it and respond.
I beg to remain, Sir, &c.
General Carjack
High General and Advisor to the Military Paranormal Division, Victorious Decepticons