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Dyelli Beybi
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Dyelli Beybi » Sat May 11, 2019 5:02 am

Sapientia Et Bellum wrote:That works, sorry about my misunderstanding... I thought the ship had NCPs


No apologies needed! It can be difficult to step into a thread once it is rolling along :)

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Harbertia
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New York Times Democracy

Postby Harbertia » Sat May 11, 2019 5:05 am

Dyelli Beybi wrote:
Sapientia Et Bellum wrote:That works, sorry about my misunderstanding... I thought the ship had NCPs


No apologies needed! It can be difficult to step into a thread once it is rolling along :)

Indeed, we'll help you get into it but just like stepping off a bus at the wrong stop in a place you've never been before it'll take some time to adjust- but you'll manage :)
A light in casing is still a light.
Tomorrow is made today.
You can't stop progress, but you can direct it's course.

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Bingellia
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Father Knows Best State

Postby Bingellia » Sat May 11, 2019 10:16 am

Harbertia wrote:
Dyelli Beybi wrote:
No apologies needed! It can be difficult to step into a thread once it is rolling along :)

Indeed, we'll help you get into it but just like stepping off a bus at the wrong stop in a place you've never been before it'll take some time to adjust- but you'll manage :)


Also, here's the plug for the discord server. A link is in the OP. We do co-writes there and have some off-topic things as well. It's really fun.
Last edited by Bingellia on Sat May 11, 2019 10:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Foxfound
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Foxfound » Sat May 11, 2019 11:46 am

I'll try to post today.
Foxfound
Arctic island inhabited by kitsune and other yōkai.

I'm an awful writer so this will probably never get finished, and that fact has me very stressed.
Maybe I'll make a new nation soon and start from scratch.

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Dyelli Beybi
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Dyelli Beybi » Sun May 12, 2019 3:34 am

I'm going to declare Vrondich bought a holographic projector amongst other things, so that Olorisa is more able to engage with the crew.

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Islamic Republic e Jariri
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Postby Islamic Republic e Jariri » Sun May 12, 2019 2:15 pm

Apologies for the delay, I'll get a post up tomorrow.
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Dyelli Beybi
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Postby Dyelli Beybi » Sun May 12, 2019 3:17 pm

No problem!

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Harbertia
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New York Times Democracy

Postby Harbertia » Sun May 12, 2019 3:45 pm

Islamic Republic e Jariri wrote:Apologies for the delay, I'll get a post up tomorrow.

^_^
A light in casing is still a light.
Tomorrow is made today.
You can't stop progress, but you can direct it's course.

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Ameriganastan
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Postby Ameriganastan » Wed May 15, 2019 6:25 pm

Dropping out. Thing moves a little fast and I don't like my character.
The Incompetent Critic
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Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
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Fire the Ameri.
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Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Arengin Union
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Arengin Union » Wed May 15, 2019 6:42 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:Dropping out. Thing moves a little fast and I don't like my character.

Sorry to see ya go, best of luck in your RPng ventures.
"I do as I please"
-King Abraham Markev final words before jumping into a cage to fight a lion.

Proud member of the Federation of Allies

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Dyelli Beybi
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Founded: Antiquity
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Dyelli Beybi » Wed May 15, 2019 11:44 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:Dropping out. Thing moves a little fast and I don't like my character.


Sorry to see you go, though thanks for letting us know! Very polite and much appreciated.

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Lessoni
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Posts: 262
Founded: Nov 24, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Lessoni » Thu May 16, 2019 9:46 am

Tagging this for reminder, working on app now

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Lessoni
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Posts: 262
Founded: Nov 24, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Lessoni » Thu May 16, 2019 9:48 am

Character Description
    Name: Raoul
    Species: Ragon
    Gender: Male
    Age: 68
    Appearance:
    Image



Strengths and Weaknesses
    Skills: Melee combat: Raoul is an expert in melee combat, using his massive size and teeth to rip and tear at his opponents
    Weaknesses: Broken tail: Raoul’s tail has suffered extensive nerve damage, and is barely functioning


Background:
    Role on Ship: Former prisoner
    Crimes Committed: Guilty of multiple counts of murder with several robbery counts along with it
    Personality: Raoul is a scary looking bastard, but don’t let that fool you. In general, towards friends he’s a softie, though his enemies usually end fights in pieces
    Backstory:Raoul’s got his share of sins under his belt, that’s for sure. He used to be a pitfighter, until his tail got mostly taken out in a particularly brutal fight; then he was hired muscle for anyone who’d take him, and there were plenty of those people, yesiree. He wandered for years, moving from place to place and crew to crew, but in the end he was always the last of a crew left. Criminals are usually short lived, though Raoul had avoided that fate. And here he was, finally caught, and on his way to the slammer, probably permanently. But now, he had a second chance, and he’d be damned if it’d go wasted.
Last edited by Lessoni on Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Dyelli Beybi
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Postby Dyelli Beybi » Thu May 16, 2019 2:01 pm

Lessoni wrote:
Character Description
    Name: Raoul
    Species: Ragon
    Gender: Male
    Age: 68
    Appearance:
    As lizard like as they come, the main distinguishment of Raoul from the average Ragon is a tall build at 4.7 meters and a massive set of teeth, long enough that they stick out of his mouth similar to a crocodile



Strengths and Weaknesses
    Skills: Melee combat: Raoul is an expert in melee combat, using his massive size and teeth to rip and tear at his opponents
    Weaknesses: Broken tail: Raoul’s tail has suffered extensive nerve damage, and is barely functioning


Background:
    Role on Ship: Former prisoner
    Crimes Committed: Guilty of multiple counts of murder with several robbery counts along with it
    Personality: Raoul is a scary looking bastard, but don’t let that fool you. In general, towards friends he’s a softie, though his enemies usually end fights in pieces
    Backstory:Raoul’s got his share of sins under his belt, that’s for sure. He used to be a pitfighter, until his tail got mostly taken out in a particularly brutal fight; then he was hired muscle for anyone who’d take him, and there were plenty of those people, yesiree. He wandered for years, moving from place to place and crew to crew, but in the end he was always the last of a crew left. Criminals are usually short lived, though Raoul had avoided that fate. And here he was, finally caught, and on his way to the slammer, probably permanently. But now, he had a second chance, and he’d be damned if it’d go wasted.


Looks good to me!

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Islamic Republic e Jariri
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Founded: Apr 19, 2013
New York Times Democracy

Postby Islamic Republic e Jariri » Fri May 17, 2019 3:02 pm

Overdue but I have a post... but I don't like it. I think I rushed it and it feels thin but it might just work as a first post, I'm not sure so let me know if it works:

Cae
Lower Deck of the Defiance


He snaps back into consciousness the moment the stasis pod fails, his dark eyes widening in terror as they emerge from a ferocious nightmare. His breathing is quick and uneven, his lungs struggling to adjust from the long cold pause. Falling to his knees he nearly collapses from the shock but scowls gritting his teeth with stark rage and determination.

Finding the strength to rise he stands upright, tall but not large his build is toned yet slender with a famished abdomen. Above a broad chest that extends out to a severed pair of biceps, their mutilated ends still haunted by the ghost of his lost fortune.

His clothes are ragged and his hair unkempt yet while his face still exudes an uncanny vitality. He refuses defeat.

''So what are you in for?''

''...''

''Oh well look at you, the strong-and-silent type, too-cool-to-care, huh? Well listen here kid, you're not gonna be making any friends with that self-righteous attitude and trust me you don't wanna be alone in here. The name's Hi Or, con artist and sand smuggler. You're a Dhasath right? What's the story behind your forearms or lack of said appendages?''

''...''

''Fine, whatever.''

''Where... is Cae?''

''Cae huh? So you do speak, even if its a little off... you Cae aboard the Defiance, Kiellar prison ship. Mutiny happened, uh... prisoners roaming free and take over place. You get?''

''...''

''Where the Mar-Tau you come from anyway?''

''Where... Ragon is?

''Those scaly gluttons eat you're kind right? Wait so your arms... damn. Its ain't like em to play with their food.''

''Ragon.''

''Oh boy... listen you might wanna steer clear of -''

Another stray joined the fray, intent on vindicating its gestating malaise.

''Well well lookey what we got here, a washed out crook and an armless Dhasath. Call me Cotton. Its the last name you'll ever need to know.''

Their self-anointed executioner. He was an anthropomorphic rabbit with a fungal infection in the brain.
Convicted for cannibalism and costumed robbery impersonating a Kiellar soldier.

''Not you again Cotton, if you wanna pick a fight take it to the captain or whoever's in charge now. I don't really care.''

''The captain can eat carrots! Ya'll are fresh meat, ol'Armless here's an exotic variety and ripe for easy pick'n,'' the fat ugly rabbit licked his buck teeth with a sinister grin.

''Whatever mate, it ain't got nothing to do with a shrivelled up half-beat like me,'' Hi Or replied getting up to walk away.

''Move another step and I'll hop over and mash your pumpkin head into my grandma's special pudding. No one's gonna miss your sorry hide and once I'm done with Dark Eyes here you'll be second serving. Consider it a mercy.''

''In that round shape, I'd like to see you try tubby -''

CRACK!

Cotton was fat. Cotton was large. He was strong and stupid. Not slow.

Hi Or lay on the metal floor, passed out with his brain ooze leaking out from his temple. Within a matters of minutes he would expire.

''Always preferred eat'n em live, just like Ragon do,'' Cotton muttered to himself, somewhat disappointed at the criminal's fragility and his own lack of restraint.

''Ragon...''

SMASH!

Cotton's upper teeth are shattered in one blow, its a swift kick from Cae, angled at nearly 180 degrees. The rabbit stands there motionless, his chin tilted unnaturally. He had heard his fast paced footsteps but didn't think a cripple could actually hurt him. His eyes swell with tears of pain and a seething rage.

''Y... you radish... I'll leaf'n kill ye!'' he exclaimed bloodily. His eyes lost their pupils and went completely yellow.

Cae remains focused, following up with a 90 degree spin-kick into Cotton's torso, making a bone-crunching noise as part of the rabbit's rib cage is demolished.

But nature doesn't reward fools.

''Granma always said... gulp up lotta meat and I'll be the biggest strongest there is.'' His face was now drenched in tears and nasal mucus. ''Then noth'n will hurt me!''

Cotton's fat belly and upper torso began to contract and expand, bulging into a mass of pure muscle that locked around Cae's heel, preventing escape. He smiled maliciously with his broken mouth now unable to carry out his original goal. Instead he increased the pressure of his grip, chuckling at Cae's shock of the situation.

''Gonna lose a third limb! Moron!''

Cae's face transitioned from shock to fear and outrage. He could not just lose his leg like that. For him at this point such would be a fate worse than death. With all his might he pulled - summoning all the strength he could - but his body just wasn't strong enough. In desperation he plunged his arms forward, instinct blinding him from how useless that was. Nature had decided his demise.

''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!''

He let out a defiant scream. It was all he could do in his primal state.

''Shatup!'' yelled Cotton whose elongated ears wrapped themselves around Cae's head, muffling out and suffocating him.

''Die desert rat, die!''
Last edited by Islamic Republic e Jariri on Fri May 17, 2019 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Dyelli Beybi
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Dyelli Beybi » Fri May 17, 2019 4:31 pm

Is this a flashback? Or are you writing NPCs?

Because there are so many player characters we haven't been writing any NPC crew into the RP.
Last edited by Dyelli Beybi on Fri May 17, 2019 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Harbertia
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Founded: Apr 30, 2013
New York Times Democracy

Postby Harbertia » Fri May 17, 2019 4:57 pm

I think you need a better transition from the present and the past. Another banner stating that it's 'the past' perhaps.
Last edited by Harbertia on Fri May 17, 2019 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
A light in casing is still a light.
Tomorrow is made today.
You can't stop progress, but you can direct it's course.

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Arengin Union
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Posts: 8338
Founded: Feb 23, 2016
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Arengin Union » Fri May 17, 2019 5:00 pm

Harbertia wrote:I think you need a better transition from the present and the past. Another banner stating that it's 'the past' perhaps.

I'd say just split the flasback part at the beginning and use a horizontal line for the portion that takes place in the present.
"I do as I please"
-King Abraham Markev final words before jumping into a cage to fight a lion.

Proud member of the Federation of Allies

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Islamic Republic e Jariri
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10767
Founded: Apr 19, 2013
New York Times Democracy

Postby Islamic Republic e Jariri » Sat May 18, 2019 7:53 am

Not a flashback. Its actually a continuous stream of events: Cae is awakened from stasis, gets acquainted with Prisoner 1 to get some intro exposition and establish how Cae speaks, the two are confronted by Prisoner 2 who (more or less) kills Prisoner 1 leading to a fight with Cae whose shown to be not entirely helpless but hasn't quite adapted to losing his forearms and becomes incapacitated. Prisoner 2 is distracted trying to kill Cae, leaving them open for the next player to kill-off.

Dyelli Beybi wrote:
Because there are so many player characters we haven't been writing any NPC crew into the RP.


The NPCs are just meant to serve a brief purpose in that one scene, with that fulfilled one of them is already dead and the other is kind of expected to be terminated by the next player who finds them, freeing Cae from his grasp and beginning his interactions with the other characters. At least that was the intent, it seems the execution was way off.

Should I change it to him not encountering any NPCs and go straight to a player character?
Last edited by Islamic Republic e Jariri on Sat May 18, 2019 8:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Harbertia
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Founded: Apr 30, 2013
New York Times Democracy

Postby Harbertia » Sat May 18, 2019 11:19 am

Islamic Republic e Jariri wrote:Not a flashback. Its actually a continuous stream of events: Cae is awakened from stasis, gets acquainted with Prisoner 1 to get some intro exposition and establish how Cae speaks, the two are confronted by Prisoner 2 who (more or less) kills Prisoner 1 leading to a fight with Cae whose shown to be not entirely helpless but hasn't quite adapted to losing his forearms and becomes incapacitated. Prisoner 2 is distracted trying to kill Cae, leaving them open for the next player to kill-off.

Dyelli Beybi wrote:
Because there are so many player characters we haven't been writing any NPC crew into the RP.


The NPCs are just meant to serve a brief purpose in that one scene, with that fulfilled one of them is already dead and the other is kind of expected to be terminated by the next player who finds them, freeing Cae from his grasp and beginning his interactions with the other characters. At least that was the intent, it seems the execution was way off.

Should I change it to him not encountering any NPCs and go straight to a player character?

Considering how none of those personalities are people we've met (and right now all the survivors of the mutiny are accounted for) yes, you shouldn't have any NPCs around really. Aside from that technician or contacted Vordrich about the Ragon in the cargo bay- and a few people in medical (all player characters there) there isn't anyone to encounter except the Ragon who is close to the stasis pods. Essentially we're put off as the people who have discribed are not ones in our company and sound rather contrived in regards to the people we have met. Specifically the driver and talk about the captain which really puts us off as that doesn't sound anything like Thanica or Carter (the captain being discribed). I don't think you want your character to approach the Ragon first, and time has passed enough for the tech to contact Vordrich who has informed Carter of the Ragon. So going straight to a PC also seems, not so well right now.
A light in casing is still a light.
Tomorrow is made today.
You can't stop progress, but you can direct it's course.

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Foxfound
Diplomat
 
Posts: 733
Founded: Nov 16, 2018
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Foxfound » Sun May 19, 2019 1:14 pm

I guess since we'll have the hologram system I'll be able to have Olorisa take part in the next mission. I would post something, but I've honestly lost track of what's going on.
Foxfound
Arctic island inhabited by kitsune and other yōkai.

I'm an awful writer so this will probably never get finished, and that fact has me very stressed.
Maybe I'll make a new nation soon and start from scratch.

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Harbertia
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 26279
Founded: Apr 30, 2013
New York Times Democracy

Postby Harbertia » Sun May 19, 2019 4:11 pm

Foxfound wrote:I guess since we'll have the hologram system I'll be able to have Olorisa take part in the next mission. I would post something, but I've honestly lost track of what's going on.

Most characters are back on the ship, or will be- the IC's got some chronological issues right now but steps are being take to clarify the now.
A light in casing is still a light.
Tomorrow is made today.
You can't stop progress, but you can direct it's course.

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Dyelli Beybi
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5166
Founded: Antiquity
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Dyelli Beybi » Mon May 20, 2019 9:06 am

Harbertia wrote:
Foxfound wrote:I guess since we'll have the hologram system I'll be able to have Olorisa take part in the next mission. I would post something, but I've honestly lost track of what's going on.

Most characters are back on the ship, or will be- the IC's got some chronological issues right now but steps are being take to clarify the now.



Apologies for being a bit quiet over the last few days, my Internet has been accidentally cut off and I'm reliant on my phone atm.

We've ICly retrieved a robotic body to help Olorisa out.

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Dyelli Beybi
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5166
Founded: Antiquity
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Dyelli Beybi » Mon May 20, 2019 9:09 am

Islamic Republic e Jariri wrote:Not a flashback. Its actually a continuous stream of events: Cae is awakened from stasis, gets acquainted with Prisoner 1 to get some intro exposition and establish how Cae speaks, the two are confronted by Prisoner 2 who (more or less) kills Prisoner 1 leading to a fight with Cae whose shown to be not entirely helpless but hasn't quite adapted to losing his forearms and becomes incapacitated. Prisoner 2 is distracted trying to kill Cae, leaving them open for the next player to kill-off.

Dyelli Beybi wrote:
Because there are so many player characters we haven't been writing any NPC crew into the RP.


The NPCs are just meant to serve a brief purpose in that one scene, with that fulfilled one of them is already dead and the other is kind of expected to be terminated by the next player who finds them, freeing Cae from his grasp and beginning his interactions with the other characters. At least that was the intent, it seems the execution was way off.

Should I change it to him not encountering any NPCs and go straight to a player character?


Sort of what like Harb said, I think it would make more sense if your character immediately chatted with some PCs, there are one or two things that don't gel perfectly. I appreciate though that writing all of that must have taken ages!

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Arengin Union
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8338
Founded: Feb 23, 2016
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Arengin Union » Mon May 20, 2019 10:11 am

With the introduction of that Weapons dealer that Carter got that big gun from I kind of sort of set up a place where we can get some decent firepower and defensive systems for the ship. Just wanted to get the word out.
"I do as I please"
-King Abraham Markev final words before jumping into a cage to fight a lion.

Proud member of the Federation of Allies

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