Crescent News Network Sports Channel (Abanhfleft & Co.)

[Oontaz Dert Li Ng]

2026-27 Oontaznik First Division Final Standings

   First Division             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Pasargad Manitogoro         38   29   5   4   109   46  +63    92     Champions, AOCL
 2 Botafogo de Maranao         38   27   6   5   106   55  +51    87
 3 Hapoel Nineveh              38   26   5   7    79   39  +40    83
 4 General Santos FC           38   22   8   8    86   49  +37    74
 5 Real Altamarino             38   21  11   6    65   36  +29    74
 6 Gryphons Nubalochi          38   20  11   7    70   44  +26    71
 7 Racing al-Ampatuan          38   17  10  11    42   36   +6    61
 8 Vigan Athletic              38   16   9  13    58   59   −1    57
 9 Racing Club Antipolo        38   15   6  17    68   67   +1    51
10 Rayo La Presa               38   13  11  14    48   51   −3    50
11 RCD Baler                   38   14   7  17    65   61   +4    49
12 Deportivo Cauayan           38   13  10  15    50   55   −5    49
13 Real Meycauayan             38   12   8  18    39   56  −17    44
14 General Trias Multiversal   38   11   8  19    71   96  −25    41
15 Um al-Gwarif FC             38   10   8  20    58   93  −35    38
16 Esteghlal Omidinabad        38   11   3  24    18   51  −33    36
17 Habaniyyah Harriers         38   10   5  23    27   56  −29    35
18 AC Luigi Brown              38    8   6  24    35   72  −37    30     Relegated to Second Division
19 Athletic Club Baguio        38    8   5  25    28   49  −21    29     Relegated to Second Division
20 Samalense                   38    3   6  29    54  105  −51    15     Relegated to Second Division

Red Horse Biñan, Tall Afar FC, and Fudukwan FC are promoted from the Oontaznik Second Division into the First Division.

Congratulations to Pasargad Manitogoro, your 2026-27 Oontaznik First Division champions!

[Copper Cuprum]

2026-27 Copperite National League Final Standings

   National League                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Athletic Wa Deg                  30   18   6   6    30   12  +18    60     Champions, Qualified for CEdC
 2 South Ons Deg Rabbitohs A.F.C.   30   18   3   9    40   28  +12    57     Qualified for CEdC
 3 Ken Deg United                   30   16   6   8    73   39  +34    54
 4 Sportif Ab Deg                   30   15   7   8    55   32  +23    52
 5 Bor Deg Bears                    30   15   7   8    42   35   +7    52
 6 Vay Deg Eels A.F.C.              30   14   8   8    34   23  +11    50
 7 Mah Deg Diamonds                 30   13   8   9    29   19  +10    47
 8 Wa Deg City                      30   14   5  11    46   40   +6    47
 9 Wa Deg Giants A.F.C.             30   14   4  12    19   21   −2    46
10 Nay Deg                          30   13   4  13    52   45   +7    43
11 Nel Deg Rovers                   30   10   6  14    32   37   −5    36
12 Bed Deg Town                     30    8   9  13    17   20   −3    33
13 Pad Deg Harriers A.F.C.          30    7  10  13    28   56  −28    31
14 Yon Deg                          30    8   7  15    20   48  −28    31
15 Ons Deg North End                30    5   3  22     7   39  −32    18     Relegated to League 2
16 Ven Deg A.F.C.                   30    3   5  22     8   38  −30    14     Relegated to League 2

2026-27 Copperite League 2 Final Standings

   League 2                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Atletico Bed Deg                 30   22   8   0    65   17  +48    74     Champions, Promoted to National League
 2 Copper Cuprum Halal Commission   30   22   6   2    86   23  +63    72     Promoted to National League
 3 Chicken Wings FC                 30   20   6   4    65   27  +38    66
 4 Bed Deg Bantams A.F.C.           30   20   3   7    81   29  +52    63
 5 Sub Deg Raiders A.F.C.           30   18   7   5    71   35  +36    61
 6 Noh Deg                          30   12   6  12    46   48   −2    42
 7 Al Deg Barracudas A.F.C.         30   11   9  10    30   38   −8    42
 8 His Deg A.F.C.                   30   12   5  13    32   50  −18    41
 9 Jet Deg                          30   11   6  13    22   27   −5    39
10 Hen Deg                          30   10   8  12    43   48   −5    38
11 Jit Deg Royal F.C.               30   10   3  17    42   62  −20    33
12 Chapter 11 Tigers                30    9   5  16    32   67  −35    32
13 Af Deg Wanderers                 30    7   6  17    33   52  −19    27
14 AFC Bor Deg                      30    5   6  19    26   60  −34    21
15 Wip Deg United                   30    3   4  23    19   62  −43    13     Relegated to League 3
16 Anek Deg A.F.C                   30    3   2  25    11   59  −48    11     Relegated to League 3

Dan Deg Megatheriums and Nay Deg Elephants F.C. are promoted from Copperite League 3 to League 2.

Congratulations to Athletic Wa Deg, your 2026-27 Copperite National League champions!

[Fhulghamous Peninsula]

2026 Fhulghamousian Premier League - Opening Final Standings

   Opening                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Charalambos FC               22   12   5   5    43   34   +9    41     Opening Champions, CEdC
 2 Deportivo Pequeña Mellila    22   12   4   6    44   33  +11    40
 3 Nove Gossed                  22    9   8   5    21   19   +2    35
 4 Nou Philippopolis            22   10   3   9    23   23    0    33
 5 Palaeiologi                  22    9   4   9    42   40   +2    31
 6 Pythagoras FC                22    8   7   7    19   18   +1    31
 7 Esquadrille White Rabbits    22    8   5   9    47   44   +3    29
 8 Sobresalientes               22    8   5   9    33   31   +2    29
 9 FC Aeaea Albion              22    6   7   9    32   38   −6    25
10 Airbus Fhulghamous Besanza   22    7   4  11    28   37   −9    25
11 Emekasis Sportif             22    5   8   9    23   33  −10    23
12 Besanza Emeralds             22    5   6  11    26   31   −5    21

2027 Fhulghamousian Premier League - Closing Final Standings

   Closing                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Emekasis Sportif             22   10   8   4    33   27   +6    38     Closing Champions, CEdC
 2 Sobresalientes               22   10   5   7    30   25   +5    35
 3 Nou Philippopolis            22   10   4   8    31   30   +1    34
 4 Charalambos FC               22   10   3   9    50   46   +4    33
 5 Esquadrille White Rabbits    22    9   6   7    34   32   +2    33
 6 Nove Gossed                  22    9   6   7    21   20   +1    33
 7 Palaeiologi                  22    8   6   8    37   39   −2    30
 8 Airbus Fhulghamous Besanza   22    9   2  11    35   37   −2    29
 9 Besanza Emeralds             22    7   6   9    34   31   +3    27
10 FC Aeaea Albion              22    7   5  10    23   30   −7    26
11 Deportivo Pequeña Mellila    22    6   6  10    32   31   +1    24
12 Pythagoras FC                22    7   3  12    19   31  −12    24

2026-27 Fhulghamousian Premier League Final Table

   Premier League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Charalambos FC               44   22   8  14    93   80  +13    74     Overall Champions, Qualified for CEdC
 2 Nove Gossed                  44   18  14  12    42   39   +3    68
 3 Nou Philippopolis            44   20   7  17    54   53   +1    67
 4 Deportivo Pequeña Mellila    44   18  10  16    76   64  +12    64
 5 Sobresalientes               44   18  10  16    63   56   +7    64
 6 Esquadrille White Rabbits    44   17  11  16    81   76   +5    62
 7 Palaeiologi                  44   17  10  17    79   79    0    61
 8 Emekasis Sportif             44   15  16  13    56   60   −4    61     Qualified for CEdC as Closing Champions
 9 Pythagoras FC                44   15  10  19    38   49  −11    55
10 Airbus Fhulghamous Besanza   44   16   6  22    63   74  −11    54
11 FC Aeaea Albion              44   13  12  19    55   68  −13    51     Relegated to Second League
12 Besanza Emeralds             44   12  12  20    60   62   −2    48     Relegated to Second League

█████
Congratulations to Charalambos FC, your 2026 Fhulghamousian Premier League Opening champions, and Emekasis Sportif, your 2027 Fhulghamousian Premier League Closing champions!

---

2026 Fhulghamousian Second League - Opening Final Standings

   Opening                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Heliopolisspor               22   12   5   5    31   26   +5    41     Opening Champions
 2 Sycorax Kickers              22    9   9   4    43   38   +5    36
 3 Haritzaga Albion             22    9   8   5    37   32   +5    35
 4 Asparagus Thistle            22    8   9   5    50   41   +9    33
 5 Veterans Foundation FC       22    8   7   7    29   26   +3    31
 6 Marble Arch Defenders        22    7   9   6    32   35   −3    30
 7 RCD Nueva Ceuta              22    6  11   5    40   42   −2    29
 8 UD Nuevo Carthago            22    6   8   8    28   26   +2    26
 9 OGC Nou Nicaea               22    6   7   9    22   24   −2    25
10 UD Albarecete                22    6   6  10    26   31   −5    24
11 Sfaxspor                     22    7   1  14    42   49   −7    22
12 Thereisnogodabad Town        22    5   6  11    25   35  −10    21

2027 Fhughamousian Second League - Closing Final Standings

   Closing                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Haritzaga Albion             22   14   5   3    54   30  +24    47     Closing Champions
 2 UD Albarecete                22   10   6   6    42   33   +9    36
 3 RCD Nueva Ceuta              22   10   5   7    57   48   +9    35
 4 Sfaxspor                     22   10   5   7    42   41   +1    35
 5 UD Nuevo Carthago            22    8   7   7    34   35   −1    31
 6 Sycorax Kickers              22    9   3  10    39   44   −5    30
 7 OGC Nou Nicaea               22    7   8   7    20   17   +3    29
 8 Veterans Foundation FC       22    7   6   9    27   32   −5    27
 9 Thereisnogodabad Town        22    7   5  10    33   35   −2    26
10 Heliopolisspor               22    5  10   7    30   34   −4    25
11 Marble Arch Defenders        22    7   1  14    21   31  −10    22
12 Asparagus Thistle            22    5   5  12    41   60  −19    20

2026-27 Fhulghamousian Second League Final Standings

   Second League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Haritzaga Albion             44   23  13   8    91   62  +29    82     Overall Champions, Promoted to FhPL
 2 Heliopolisspor               44   17  15  12    61   60   +1    66     Promoted to FhPL as Opening Champions
 3 Sycorax Kickers              44   18  12  14    82   82    0    66
 4 RCD Nueva Ceuta              44   16  16  12    97   90   +7    64
 5 UD Albarecete                44   16  12  16    68   64   +4    60
 6 Veterans Foundation FC       44   15  13  16    56   58   −2    58
 7 UD Nuevo Carthago            44   14  15  15    62   61   +1    57
 8 Sfaxspor                     44   17   6  21    84   90   −6    57
 9 OGC Nou Nicaea               44   13  15  16    42   41   +1    54
10 Asparagus Thistle            44   13  14  17    91  101  −10    53
11 Marble Arch Defenders        44   14  10  20    53   66  −13    52     Relegated to Third League
12 Thereisnogodabad Town        44   12  11  21    58   70  −12    47     Relegated to Third League

EA Tatouwine from the Fhulghamousian Third League-South and Nuevo Guadix CF from the Fhulghamousian Third League-North are promoted to the Fhulghamousian Second League.

[APOC Coalition]

As the Rugby Coalition enters its eighth year of competition, the APOC Coalition's premier rugby union competition undergoes two of the biggest changes that it has ever had. First off, instead of being held in between the months of October and February, the Rugby Coalition will now run itself inside one calendar year. Yes, from the regular season to the finals series, all this will be played in just one calendar year. But that's not the biggest development in the Rugby Coalition because the news is that the Rugby Coalition has expanded. Yes, that's right: the Rugby Coalition is expanding! But not the Rugby Coalition itself. What this means is that a new division has been added to the Rugby Coalition; a second division, if you will. Yes, the Rugby Coalition now has a Division 2! It's made up of eight teams, two each coming from the four member nations of the APOC Coalition (although one of them isn't actually located in an APOC member nation but ignore that because it's actually located right next door to the territory of an actual member nation). Here are the eight teams and their host nations:

Abanhfleft

• Haritzaga County Ibex (based in Thereisnogodabad, Fhulghamous Peninsula Colony)
• Moaria Waves (based in Moaria, Islana Lunigo, Damukuni)

Copper Cuprum

• Ab Deg Roosters (based in Ab Deg)
• Dan Deg Wolfpack (based in Dan Deg)

Oontaz

• Cauayan Pandas (based in Cauayan, Zobel Province, Mayin)
• Gibeon Iron Men (based in Al-Jib, Gibeon Province, Oontaz)

Pridnestrovia

• Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Strike Force (based in Pridnestrovskaya Gavan, Yatuvilsk Socialist State)
• Rivymiyitevko Victory (based in Sonolovichyrevnko, Rivymiyitevko Province)

The rules of promotion from the Rugby Coalition Division 2 are simple: most points wins the competition as well as a spot in the Rugby Coalition itself, taking the place of the poor winners of the wooden spoon in the top division. Aside from that, the rules of the Rugby Coalition Division 2 are the same as that of the Rugby Coalition itself. And now, let us get into the 2028 Rugby Coalition.

2028 Rugby Coalition Regular Season Final Standings

   Rugby Coalition                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts   TB   LB  Ttl
 1 Haranguer Death Worms                 30   21   0   9   353  198 +155    84    0    5   89     Minor premiers, Qualified for playoffs
 2 Oshkosh Dnistrosh                     30   20   1   9   354  229 +125    82    1    6   89     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Tikrit Oilers                         30   16   4  10   503  422  +81    72    2    7   81     Qualified for playoffs
 4 San Seriffe Bad Hombres               30   17   1  12   374  254 +120    70    0    8   78     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Nineveh Whales                        30   15   5  10   476  409  +67    70    0    6   76     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Kesselburger Packers                  30   15   4  11   485  433  +52    68    1    5   74     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Bytuch Feld Dinosaurs                 30   14   4  12   321  265  +56    64    0    9   73     Qualified for playoffs
 8 Zheleznogorsk Atomsplitters           30   15   2  13   312  267  +45    64    0    6   70     Qualified for playoffs
 9 Red Deg Red Bulls                     30   14   1  15   418  400  +18    58    1   11   70
10 Ken Deg Rooks                         30   12   5  13   269  265   +4    58    1    6   65
11 Wa Deg Carabiners                     30   13   2  15   288  350  −62    56    1    7   64
12 Sasmuan Supermen                      30   13   0  17   242  363 −121    52    0    7   59
13 Bierburg Sentinels                    30   11   1  18   307  389  −82    46    2    6   54
14 Jasvirabad Titans                     30   10   2  18   255  338  −83    44    0   10   54
15 Albatross Bed Deg                     30   10   1  19   255  429 −174    42    0    7   49
16 Manitogoro Madness                    30    6   3  21   259  460 −201    30    1    8   39     Wooden spoon, Relegated to Division 2

Thus the destiny of the new Rugby Coalition is revealed. The Death Worms of Haranguer have won their first ever minor premiership, although in the history of the Rugby Coalition this is actually the second time that Haranguer have ended up at the top of the Rugby Coalition table at the end of the regular season. It just so happens that this time around, being on top of the Rugby Coalition means you only win a minor premiership and not the premiership itself. That will have to be won in the playoffs, or the finals series, or however you want to call it. And the Manitogoro Madness are the first team to be relegated from the Rugby Coalition after winning yet another wooden spoon. Surely it is yet another record that fans of the Madness will not want to have, not that they will ever be able to get rid of it. But the writing has already been on the wall for some time now, and perhaps a stay in Division 2 will help them get their act together. But now let's take a look at who will replace them in the Rugby Coalition from Division 2.

2028 Rugby Coalition Division 2 Final Standings

   Division 2                           Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts   TB   LB  Ttl
 1 Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Strike Force   14    9   0   5   234  238   −4    36    0    3   39     Champions, Promoted to Rugby Coalition
 2 Haritzaga County Ibex                 14    8   1   5   236  184  +52    34    2    2   38
 3 Ab Deg Roosters                       14    6   1   7   251  195  +56    26    3    6   35
 4 Dan Deg Wolfpack                      14    7   1   6   209  202   +7    30    0    4   34
 5 Gibeon Iron Men                       14    7   1   6   204  217  −13    30    0    1   31
 6 Rivymiyitevko Victory                 14    5   2   7   236  259  −23    24    0    4   28
 7 Cauayan Pandas                        14    6   0   8   171  216  −45    24    0    4   28
 8 Moaria Waves                          14    4   2   8   188  218  −30    20    0    6   26

The Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Strike Force are the first ever champions of the Rugby Coalition Division 2! It was a very close contest but in the end, it is the team from the city hosting the Pridnestrovian Navy's second largest naval base and harbor who are at the top of Division 2, and their reward for that is a place in the Rugby Coalition itself, replacing the bottom side Manitogoro Warriors. However, do not expect this fourteen-game season to last long for Division 2, as this was just a teaser. Starting in the 2029 season, Division 2 will hold a quadruple round-robin format in order to more closely align Division 2's games with the Rugby Coalition itself.

---

And yet again Oshkosh Dnistrosh have lifted the Rugby Coalition premiership. By this time people aren't even surprised anymore. But they did make people feel as if this year might not be their year, what with Oshkosh taking the very long road towards the Grand Final. A 5-point loss against the Tikrit Oilers forced Oshkosh into the semifinals where, in a repeat of last season's Grand Final, Oshkosh handily defeated the Bytuch Feld Dinosaurs to book a spot in the preliminary finals. There, Oshkosh found it tough going against the minor premiers Haranguer Death Worms before Rostislav Krinkov scored the winning conversion to his own try. Then it was the Grand Final between two Pridnestrovian sides in Dnistrosh and the Zheleznogorsk Atomsplitters. The last time these two teams met, it yielded a 33-17 scoreline in favor of the Atomsplitters. But on this day, with the Rugby Coalition premiership on the line, Oshkosh came through on a dull and dreary evening at the New Army Stadium in Tiraspol, Pridnestrovia; Alfred Bang Si-hoo scoring the winning try for Oshkosh to secure their fourth Rugby Coalition premiership title.

Congratulations to Oshkosh Dnistrosh, your 2028 Rugby Coalition premiers!

[APOC Coalition]

In its third season of competition, the organizers of the Coalition Rugby League have decided to expand the competition, but not through adding teams into the league (that comes later). For Coalition Rugby League Season 3, it has been decided that the league will now be in a triple round-robin format, bringing the teams' schedules up to the 33 games and putting them on par with their older cousin of a competition the Rugby Coalition. It is believed that a triple round-robin format will give a fairer assessment of the teams involved in the league and give teams who deserve it a chance to earn a playoff spot. But is it really true? Did it really work like that? Let's find out.

2027 Coalition Rugby League Regular Season Final Standings

   ACRL                  Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts
 1 Piranhacondas          33   25   2   6   465  210 +255    52     Minor premiers, Qualified for playoffs
 2 Raptors                33   22   1  10   402  344  +58    45     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Buccaneers             33   17   6  10   433  387  +46    40     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Boars                  33   15   3  15   329  337   −8    33     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Storm                  33   12   8  13   268  258  +10    32     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Hellbats               33   13   4  16   177  209  −32    30     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Boxers                 33   12   6  15   390  447  −57    30
 8 Headhunters            33   13   3  17   252  293  −41    29
 9 Falcons                33   12   4  17   268  281  −13    28
10 Dead Horses            33   12   4  17   307  392  −85    28
11 Mountain Men           33   12   4  17   241  342 −101    28
12 Traktor                33    9   3  21   263  295  −32    21

And once again the Piranhacondas of Noh Deg take home the minor premiership. It seems as if the addition of eleven more games to their schedule did nothing to intimidate the Piranhacondas from retaining their minor premiership from last season. Defending premiers Buccaneers have also taken advantage of this triple round-robin format by climbing up to third place, although all things said if this season still only had just 22 games they would still be third. But check out Traktor! Their first ever wooden spoon! Surely they will hope to remedy that in the seasons to come, although they don't have to worry just yet because thoughts of adding a second division to the Coalition Rugby League are simply not in place. In fact, it's not even being planned. So Traktor have time on their hands to move on from their status of being a wooden spoon team.

---

Now this is an unexpected result! This is the first time ever in the history of the Coalition Rugby League that a team has won the double: the minor premiership and the premiership itself! And who would have expected the Piranhacondas to be the first team to do that? Certainly not anyone rooting for the Storm! After dropping double digits on both the Boars and the Raptors, Storm fans were probably expecting more of the same to happen against the Piranhacondas, except it didn't. What ended up happening was that the Piranhacondas shut out the Storm, who before then had been dropping points against their opponents for fun. But thus is rugby league, and the Piranhacondas are not only lifting up both the minor and actual premierships this season, they've also booked themselves tickets to the IRLCC.

Congratulations to Piranhacondas, your 2027 Coalition Rugby League premiers!

[Copper Cuprum]

2027 Copperite Rugby League Regular Season Final Standings

   CRL                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts
 1 Red Deg Adders            30   19   0  11   369  273  +96    38     Minor premiers, Qualified for playoffs
 2 Sub Deg Raiders           30   17   2  11   395  282 +113    36     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Uld Deg Stingrays         30   15   5  10   363  311  +52    35     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Pad Deg Harriers          30   15   5  10   309  260  +49    35     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Wa Deg Giants             30   17   1  12   293  262  +31    35     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Bed Deg Bantams           30   17   1  12   367  371   −4    35     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Eb Deg Bulldogs           30   16   2  12   373  321  +52    34     Qualified for playoffs
 8 Jes Deg Wingmen           30   15   1  14   393  380  +13    31     Qualified for playoffs
 9 Nay Deg Dragons           30   13   3  14   305  298   +7    29
10 Al Deg Barracudas         30   14   1  15   347  372  −25    29
11 Vay Deg Eels              30   13   2  15   292  300   −8    28
12 Nes Deg Stars             30   13   2  15   251  284  −33    28
13 For Deg Eagles            30   11   2  17   377  389  −12    24
14 South Ons Deg Rabbitohs   30   11   1  18   297  414 −117    23
15 Wid Deg Sharks            30   10   2  18   295  393  −98    22
16 Ken Deg Broncos           30    8   2  20   282  398 −116    18

The Red Deg Adders have lifted their first minor premiership in eleven years. However, in a season where the vast majority of the CRL's clubs were not playing to their full potential, the Adders simply happened to be the one to have strung together the best set of results that they could have. Any other season and Red Deg's haul of 38 points wouldn't have been enough to carry them to the minor premiership, but here they are now. Defending premiers Sub Deg Raiders could have retained their minor premiership but two draws saw the top of the table award slip away from them and fall into the hands of the Adders. But not to worry; they've still got a chance to retain their premiership.

---

Yeah, no. A rematch of last year's Grand Final saw Eb Deg get their revenge over Sub Deg in the semifinals, and despite their lowly seventh position in the table, the Bulldogs managed to beat all comers (including the minor premiers Red Deg Adders) to proceed to their third straight Copperite Rugby League Grand Final, hoping to repeat their feat in 2025 and win yet another premiership. But their opponents the Uld Deg Stingrays are looking to play spoilsport, and boy did they do it. After just barely not managing to win the wooden spoon, the Stingrays have now found themselves third in the league, enough to put them through to a qualifying final and give them a couple of chances at the Grand Final. And boy did they take advantage by triumphing against the Bulldogs in a close and tight game at the First Copperite Bank Stadium. It's quite a big turnaround for a team that came second-to-last last season. Still not quite a wooden spooner becoming premiers the following season like the Jes Deg Wingmen in the 1992 and 1993 seasons; but very, very close to it.

Congratulations to the Uld Deg Stingrays, your 2027 Copperite Rugby League premiers!

[Abanhfleft]

The Fleftic National League of American Football is back with yet another season, and 32 teams will once again play for the chance to lift that coveted Fleftic Bowl. Who will be the 12 teams who will make it to the playoffs?

FNLAF CENTRAL LEAGUE

CAPITAL DIVISION                     Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Effelenendro Bombers [x]           16   13   3   0   317  176 +141    0.812
 2 Wanda Island Mystics               16    5  11   0   196  260  −64    0.312
 3 Releinthi Rangers                  16    5  11   0   249  321  −72    0.312
 4 Riuwiee Knights                    16    5  11   0   213  346 −133    0.312

ISLAND DIVISION                      Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 San Seriffe Gunslingers [x]        16   10   6   0   267  221  +46    0.625
 2 Dorfdifving Destroyers [y]         16    8   7   1   296  272  +24    0.531
 3 Olistan Longhorns                  16    8   8   0   333  273  +60    0.500
 4 Garufaloe Cobras                   16    4  12   0   276  311  −35    0.250

INTERIOR DIVISION                    Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Porcusces Pistoleros [x]           16    9   7   0   212  215   −3    0.562
 2 Pilken War Pigs                    16    8   7   1   263  262   +1    0.531
 3 Ja War Eagles                      16    8   7   1   174  211  −37    0.531
 4 Mereilles Marauders                16    6  10   0   302  309   −7    0.375

CONTINENTAL DIVISION                 Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Uranium City Atoms [x]             16   14   2   0   287  111 +176    0.875
 2 Tentenaraya Stampede [y]           16   11   5   0   240  155  +85    0.688
 3 Wappinger Warriors                 16    9   7   0   214  187  +27    0.562
 4 Norrdnhammr Yetis                  16    2  12   2   170  311 −141    0.188

*[x] = division champion
*[y] = best division second-place teams

FNLAF NATIONAL LEAGUE

MAINLAND DIVISION                    Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Selid Nomads [x]                   16   12   4   0   277  184  +93    0.750
 2 Piuui Chargers [y]                 16    9   7   0   279  224  +55    0.562
 3 Bytuch Wyk Stingrays               16    8   7   1   234  219  +15    0.531
 4 Keephall Dragons                   16    4  11   1   223  304  −81    0.281

PENINSULAR DIVISION                  Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Markovsky Lumberjacks [x]          16   12   4   0   282  204  +78    0.750
 2 Ogovlich Kings [y]                 16   11   5   0   320  248  +72    0.688
 3 Rosenpfelblatz Power               16    5  11   0   212  261  −49    0.312
 4 Braganopolis Titans                16    4  12   0   258  414 −156    0.250

PLAINS DIVISION                      Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Afa-az Protectors [x]              16   10   6   0   219  201  +18    0.625
 2 Nnettekkebb Rage                   16    8   8   0   333  280  +53    0.500
 3 Wadim-ti Rovers                    16    7   9   0   217  210   +7    0.438
 4 Falhall Heroes                     16    6   9   1   204  287  −83    0.406

COLONIAL DIVISION                    Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Vikrant Elephants [x]              16   10   6   0   210  151  +59    0.625
 2 Port Thimpodopoulos Constructors   16    8   6   2   229  272  −43    0.562
 3 Marble Arch Freedom Fighters       16    6  10   0   266  271   −5    0.375
 4 Albarecete Albinos                 16    6  10   0   234  335 −101    0.375

*[x] = division champion
*[y] = best division second-place teams

---

And here are the results of the 2026-27 FNLAF playoffs.

Congratulations to the Uranium City Atoms, your 2027 Fleftic Bowl champions!

[Trans-Dniesters]

Hello, friends, comrades, and fellow fans in gridiron. Denis Fyodorovich here with a very abbreviated review of the fourth season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. I bring big news to all of you fellow fans of the PGSL: we have expanded yet again! Yes, two more teams have been added to the PGSL, the Dnistrolvovsk Bandits and the Lake Begorod Revolution. And the league has also implemented a new scheduling system. No longer will the PGSL be playing a double round-robin tournament. Starting from PGSL Season 4, the league will play a single round-robin format to more closely align the PGSL with the Fleftic National League of American Football. Also, there is a new Rivalry Week in which teams that have been designated as rivals by the league will play each other in the reverse fixture that was played previously. I know it all sounds complicated but when you see it in action, it will all look so simple. Anyway, without further ado, let us look at the final results of PGSL Season 4.

Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League Season 4 Regular Season Final Standings

   PGSL                     Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Dinamo Bender             14   12   2   255  142 +113     Regular season champions, Qualified for playoffs
 2 Yeralenko Torpedoes       14   10   4   291  171 +120     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Admiral Novorossiysk      14   10   4   288  185 +103     Qualified for playoffs
 4 CSKA Tiraspol             14    9   5   288  229  +59     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Macaresti Gladiators      14    9   5   206  170  +36     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Bratsk Dolphins           14    8   6   224  183  +41     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Rheinburg Spartans        14    8   6   219  200  +19     Qualified for playoffs
 8 Antakya Hawks             14    7   7   219  302  −83     Qualified for playoffs
 9 Novonikolaysk Sharks      14    6   8   215  202  +13
10 Sheriff Tiraspol          14    6   8   165  157   +8
11 Lake Begorod Revolution   14    6   8   192  233  −41
12 Dnistrolvovsk Bandits     14    4  10   118  207  −89
13 Kesselburger Kestrels     14    3  11   157  258 −101
14 Vladikrav Red Death       14    0  14    67  265 −198

And these are the PGSL Season 4 Playoffs seedings.

(1) Dinamo Bender vs. (8) Antakya Hawks

(4) CSKA Tiraspol vs. (5) Macaresti Gladiators

(3) Admiral Novorossiysk vs. (6) Bratsk Dolphins

(2) Yeralenko Torpedoes vs. (7) Rheinburg Spartans

---

PGSL Season 4 Quarterfinals

(1) Dinamo Bender vs. (8) Antakya Hawks

Dinamo Bender 9–15 Antakya Hawks

(4) CSKA Tiraspol vs. (5) Macaresti Gladiators

CSKA Tiraspol 20–3 Macaresti Gladiators

(3) Admiral Novorossiysk vs. (6) Bratsk Dolphins

Admiral Novorossiysk 27–14 Bratsk Dolphins

(2) Yeralenko Torpedoes vs. (7) Rheinburg Spartans

Yeralenko Torpedoes 6–14 Rheinburg Spartans

PGSL Season 4 semifinals matches
(4) CSKA Tiraspol vs. (8) Antakya Hawks

(3) Admiral Novorossiysk vs. (7) Rheinburg Spartans

---

PGSL Season 4 Semifinals

(4) CSKA Tiraspol vs. (8) Antakya Hawks

CSKA Tiraspol 25–14 Antakya Hawks

(3) Admiral Novorossiysk vs. (7) Rheinburg Spartans

Admiral Novorossiysk 52–10 Rheinburg Spartans

---

Pridnestrovian Bowl IV

@ Stadion mira, Bratsk, Transnistrian Socialist State

Admiral Novorossiysk 27–23 CSKA Tiraspol

Congratulations to Admiral Novorossiysk, your Pridnestrovian Bowl IV champions!

[Abanhfleft]

After many years, the Fleftic Basketball Association has finally been reformed and reorganized to better follow the actual geography of the nation and not rely on the arbitrary division of the Central and National Conferences to ensure the separation of its thirty teams into the appropriate conferences. Contrary to popular belief, the new conferences will not be named the Western and Eastern Conferences; instead, they are actually the Northern and Southern Conferences, so named because of Abanhfleft's geographical orientation as opposed to the country's positions on maps published within the country which shows Abanhfleft on its side with north facing west. The reorganization sees a number of division rivalries broken up, but everyone knows that this reorganization will be for the good of all teams involved.

Along with the reorganization of the FBA comes a shake-up of the FBA playoffs system. No longer will the playoff seeds be given to teams on the basis of their positions in their respective divisions; starting from this season, playoff seeds will be determined by a team's standings within their conference. Division standings will now only be taken into account when determining a team's schedule for the next season. And now, without further ado, here are the final standings of the 2028-29 FBA regular season.

NORTHERN CONFERENCE              Pld     W    L     PF    PA    PD    Win %
 1 Dorfdifving Steel [x]          82    64   18   6676  5689  +987    0.780
 2 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto [x]  82    62   20   6577  5741  +836    0.756
 3 Mykorrigan MonStars [x]        82    60   22   6429  5908  +521    0.732
 4 Effelenendro Piranhas          82    59   23   6620  5938  +682    0.720
 5 Zimp Kings                     82    48   34   6213  5951  +262    0.585
 6 Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers         82    40   42   6176  6355  −179    0.488
 7 Pilken Mammoths                82    39   43   6210  6174   +36    0.476
 8 Sfax Scream [y]                82    34   48   6141  6315  −174    0.415
 9 Markovsky Red Army             82    34   48   6051  6474  −423    0.415
10 Selid Stars                    82    31   51   5922  6532  −610    0.378
11 Malhall Raiders                82    30   52   5920  6302  −382    0.366
12 Affeddall Beasts               82    28   54   6026  6450  −424    0.341
13 Albarecete Albinos             82    25   57   5879  6472  −593    0.305
14 Braganopolis Braves            82    24   58   5861  6435  −574    0.293
15 Besanza Belugas                82    19   63   5801  6527  −726    0.232

*[x] = division champion
*[y] = Sfax ahead of Markovsky on H2H results

SOUTHERN CONFERENCE              Pld     W    L     PF    PA    PD    Win %
 1 Uranium City Nukes [x]         82    66   16   6774  5706 +1068    0.805
 2 Mereilles Port Boys            82    63   19   6755  5754 +1001    0.768
 3 San Seriffe Black Panthers [x] 82    60   22   6630  5968  +662    0.732
 4 Tentenaraya Thunder            82    60   22   6517  5875  +642    0.732
 5 Bendy Benny Wildcats [x]       82    56   26   6385  5992  +393    0.683
 6 Lotharstadt Grenadiers         82    43   39   6235  6311   −76    0.524
 7 Wanda Island Wizards           82    42   40   6258  6064  +194    0.512
 8 Riuwiee Presidents [y]         82    37   45   6174  6398  −224    0.451
 9 Garufaloe Rattlesnakes         82    37   45   6234  6257   −23    0.451
10 Jasvirabad Jazz                82    36   46   5998  6262  −264    0.439
11 Wappinger Steam                82    32   50   5964  6449  −485    0.390
12 Porcusces Giants               82    27   55   5985  6472  −487    0.329
13 Malabon Black Ops              82    27   55   5878  6412  −534    0.329
14 Vikrant Conquerors             82    24   58   6013  6564  −551    0.293
15 Releinthi Chiefs               82    23   59   5870  6425  −555    0.280

*[x] = division champion
*[y] = Riuwiee ahead of Garufaloe on H2H results

And here is the format of the 2028-29 FBA playoffs.

Northern Conference match-ups
(1) Dorfdifving Steel vs. (8) Sfax Scream

(4) Effelenendro Piranhas vs. (5) Zimp Kings

(3) Mykorrigan MonStars vs. (6) Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers

(2) Real Haritzaga Baloncesto vs. (7) Pilken Mammoths

Southern Conference match-ups
(1) Uranium City Nukes vs. (8) Riuwiee Presidents

(4) Tentenaraya Thunder vs. (5) Bendy Benny Wildcats

(3) San Seriffe Black Panthers vs. (6) Lotharstadt Grenadiers

(2) Mereilles Port Boys vs. (7) Wanda Island Wizards

[Abanhfleft]

NORTHERN CONFERENCE
(1) Dorfdifving Steel vs. (8) Sfax Scream

Dorfdifving Steel 89–64 Sfax Scream
Dorfdifving Steel 65–60 Sfax Scream
Sfax Scream 57–96 Dorfdifving Steel
Sfax Scream 76–105 Dorfdifving Steel

Dorfdifving Steel wins the series 4-0

(4) Effelenendro Piranhas vs. (5) Zimp Kings

Effelenendro Piranhas 82–84 Zimp Kings
Effelenendro Piranhas 69–73 Zimp Kings
Zimp Kings 74–80 Effelenendro Piranhas
Zimp Kings 63–75 Effelenendro Piranhas
Effelenendro Piranhas 77–93 Zimp Kings
Zimp Kings 77–74 Effelenendro Piranhas

Zimp Kings wins the series 4-2

(3) Mykorrigan MonStars vs. (6) Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers

Mykorrigan MonStars 76–77 Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers
Mykorrigan MonStars 73–63 Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers
Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers 77–67 Mykorrigan MonStars
Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers 71–78 Mykorrigan MonStars
Mykorrigan MonStars 68–62 Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers
Bytuch Wyk SaberTigers 79–98 Mykorrigan MonStars

Mykorrigan MonStars wins the series 4-2

(2) Real Haritzaga Baloncesto vs. (7) Pilken Mammoths

Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 83–67 Pilken Mammoths
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 94–75 Pilken Mammoths
Pilken Mammoths 57–72 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto
Pilken Mammoths 72–102 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto

Real Haritzaga Baloncesto wins the series 4-0
SOUTHERN CONFERENCE
(1) Uranium City Nukes vs. (8) Riuwiee Presidents

Uranium City Nukes 79–75 Riuwiee Presidents
Uranium City Nukes 102–77 Riuwiee Presidents
Riuwiee Presidents 95–96 Uranium City Nukes
Riuwiee Presidents 67–86 Uranium City Nukes

Uranium City Nukes wins the series 4-0

(4) Tentenaraya Thunder vs. (5) Bendy Benny Wildcats

Tentenaraya Thunder 68–66 Bendy Benny Wildcats
Tentenaraya Thunder 63–89 Bendy Benny Wildcats
Bendy Benny Wildcats 67–72 Tentenaraya Thunder
Bendy Benny Wildcats 71–75 Tentenaraya Thunder
Tentenaraya Thunder 102–65 Bendy Benny Wildcats

Tentenaraya Thunder wins the series 4-1

(3) San Seriffe Black Panthers vs. (6) Lotharstadt Grenadiers

San Seriffe Black Panthers 76–85 Lotharstadt Grenadiers
San Seriffe Black Panthers 77–81 Lotharstadt Grenadiers
Lotharstadt Grenadiers 59–98 San Seriffe Black Panthers
Lotharstadt Grenadiers 67–83 San Seriffe Black Panthers
San Seriffe Black Panthers 69–72 Lotharstadt Grenadiers
Lotharstadt Grenadiers 61–83 San Seriffe Black Panthers
San Seriffe Black Panthers 83–67 Lotharstadt Grenadiers

San Seriffe Black Panthers wins the series 4-3

(2) Mereilles Port Boys vs. (7) Wanda Island Wizards

Mereilles Port Boys 69–79 Wanda Island Wizards
Mereilles Port Boys 60–74 Wanda Island Wizards
Wanda Island Wizards 57–96 Mereilles Port Boys
Wanda Island Wizards 65–60 Mereilles Port Boys
Mereilles Port Boys 72–73 Wanda Island Wizards

Wanda Island Wizards wins the series 4-1

There are a lot of things that can be talked about in just this first round of the FBA playoffs. First of all, since this is the very first FBA playoffs in history that will determine its contestants by their positions in the conference and not by divisions, it was going to be inevitable that tiebreakers beyond win percentage and actual wins would have to be used, and that turned out to be the case for the Sfax Scream, the Markovsky Red Army, the Riuwiee Presidents, and the Garufaloe Rattlesnakes. Both the Scream and the Presidents advanced to the playoffs by virtue of their superior head-to-head records against the Red Army and the Rattlesnakes respectively to take the eighth seed in the Northern and Southern Conferences respectively, but judging by their performances in the first round, perhaps neither Sfax nor Riuwiee really should have bothered. The Sfax Scream were swept by the Dorfdifving Steel, and the defending FBA champions the Uranium City Nukes also eliminated the Riuwiee Presidents in four straight games. But how about the Mereilles Port Boys getting eliminated 4 games to 1 by the Wanda Island Wizards? Everyone surely must have tipped Hayden Dorola's side as the favorites in this particular match-up, but the Wizards apparently had other ideas. Could the Wizards be on their way to their second FBA title? Why not? If they believe they've got a shot then by God do they have a shot.

Here are the match-ups for the conference semifinals.

Northern Conference semifinals
(1) Dorfdifving Steel vs. (5) Zimp Kings

(3) Mykorrigan MonStars vs. (2) Real Haritzaga Baloncesto*

Southern Conference semifinals
(1) Uranium City Nukes vs. (4) Tentenaraya Thunder

(3) San Seriffe Black Panthers vs. (7) Wanda Island Wizards

*Haritzaga as the higher seed will hold home-court advantage over Mykorrigan for the duration of their series

---

2028-29 FBA Conference Semifinals

NORTHERN CONFERENCE
(1) Dorfdifving Steel vs. (5) Zimp Kings

Dorfdifving Steel 87–75 Zimp Kings
Dorfdifving Steel 74–96 Zimp Kings
Zimp Kings 60–95 Dorfdifving Steel
Zimp Kings 63–72 Dorfdifving Steel
Dorfdifving Steel 74–84 Zimp Kings
Zimp Kings 60–83 Dorfdifving Steel

Dorfdifving Steel wins the series 4-2

(3) Mykorrigan MonStars vs. (2) Real Haritzaga Baloncesto*
*Haritzaga as the higher seed holds home-court advantage over Mykorrigan for the duration of their playoff series

Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 91–76 Mykorrigan MonStars
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 59–68 Mykorrigan MonStars
Mykorrigan MonStars 75–83 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto
Mykorrigan MonStars 59–86 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 62–70 Mykorrigan MonStars
Mykorrigan MonStars 74–88 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto

Real Haritzaga Baloncesto wins the series 4-2
SOUTHERN CONFERENCE
(1) Uranium City Nukes vs. (4) Tentenaraya Thunder

Uranium City Nukes 91–57 Tentenaraya Thunder
Uranium City Nukes 78–67 Tentenaraya Thunder
Tentenaraya Thunder 61–80 Uranium City Nukes
Tentenaraya Thunder 72–90 Uranium City Nukes

Uranium City Nukes wins the series 4-0

(3) San Seriffe Black Panthers vs. (7) Wanda Island Wizards

San Seriffe Black Panthers 75–69 Wanda Island Wizards
San Seriffe Black Panthers 76–63 Wanda Island Wizards
Wanda Island Wizards 75–63 San Seriffe Black Panthers
Wanda Island Wizards 75–55 San Seriffe Black Panthers
San Seriffe Black Panthers 89–80 Wanda Island Wizards
Wanda Island Wizards 81–77 San Seriffe Black Panthers
San Seriffe Black Panthers 98–74 Wanda Island Wizards

San Seriffe Black Panthers wins the series 4-3

But perhaps the news of the resurgence of the Wizards have been greatly exaggerated. But is it really exaggerated if the Wizards of Wanda Island were able to push the Black Panthers of San Seriffe all the way to Game 7 before finally succumbing? Perhaps, or perhaps not. But what is never in doubt is Uranium City's continuing dominance of the Southern Conference. It may be under a new name but the Nukes are still apparently in control of the destiny of the Southern Conference. Now if there was only one team that could stop them in their tracks...

But which one will it be though? Haritzaga or Dorfdifving? Both have an equal chance of stopping Uranium City, and both teams also have an equal chance of getting stomped on by the Nukes. The bookies have handed the slight advantage to Los Jugadores, but just because the bookies say so doesn't mean that their word has to be taken at face value. Dorfdifving could very well pull off a surprise Conference Finals victory, and who knows? Maybe the Steel will finally win their first FBA Championship since the 80s.

Here are the match-ups for the FBA Conference Finals.

Northern Conference Finals
(1) Dorfdifving Steel vs. (2) Real Haritzaga Baloncesto

Southern Conference Finals
(1) Uranium City Nukes vs. (3) San Seriffe Black Panthers

---

2028-29 FBA Conference Finals

NORTHERN CONFERENCE FINALS
(1) Dorfdifving Steel vs. Real Haritzaga Baloncesto

Dorfdifving Steel 78–82 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto
Dorfdifving Steel 75–67 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 85–63 Dorfdifving Steel
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 93–67 Dorfdifving Steel
Dorfdifving Steel 65–80 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto

Real Haritzaga Baloncesto wins the series 4-1
SOUTHERN CONFERENCE FINALS
(1) Uranium City Nukes vs. (3) San Seriffe Black Panthers

Uranium City Nukes 66–61 San Seriffe Black Panthers
Uranium City Nukes 66–66 San Seriffe Black Panthers (76–75 OT)
San Seriffe Black Panthers 75–68 Uranium City Nukes
San Seriffe Black Panthers 77–74 Uranium City Nukes
Uranium City Nukes 94–75 San Seriffe Black Panthers
San Seriffe Black Panthers 77–86 Uranium City Nukes

Uranium City Nukes wins the series 4-2

If there is anyone out there hoping that the 2029 FBA Finals will be between the Dorfdifving Steel and the San Seriffe Black Panthers then please stop reading from this point. It's not going to be good if you continue. If you don't particularly care about who goes on to the Finals or not then continue on. In all honesty though, this was perhaps Dorfdifving's biggest chance of moving on to their first ever FBA Finals since 1996. Last year it was the Uranium City Nukes which were standing in their path. Now it was the other finalists from last year, Real Haritzaga Baloncesto, which are on Dorfdifving's way to the Finals. And much like what happened last year, Dorfdifving were unable to clear the hurdle that is the Conference Finals. It doesn't matter whether they're in the Central Conference or the Northern Conference; Dorfdifving have failed to advance all the same. In all fairness though, barring that little hiccup in Game 2, Haritzaga never really looked in danger of being eliminated at this stage. Toni Cagromizuetakoechea and company will have another shot at redemption and bringing the title to Haritzaga after two consecutive years of heartbreak.

Things were definitely much more exciting in the first ever Southern Conference Finals, however. Despite being the favorites in this round, the Uranium City Nukes were made to fight hard in securing a place in the FBA Finals by the San Seriffe Black Panthers, who themselves haven't been anywhere near the Finals since the early 2000s. The Black Panthers have definitely been biding their time and patiently waited for the moment when they would return to the most exalted of stage of all basketball in Abanhfleft, but in the end, they will have to wait for at least one more season. The Uranium City Nukes are, at the moment, inevitable, just like that villain in that old superhero movie from almost a decade ago. And it looks like nothing will be able to stop them from perhaps achieving their first ever back-to-back championships in their history.

---

2028-29 FBA Finals
Once again, Uranium City and Haritzaga meet on the parquet floor for another shot at the Agapito Benzon Trophy. Haritzaga were humiliatingly swept by Uranium City in last season's finals, and everyone in Uranium City were overjoyed by that. Haritzaga will of course be hoping that the reverse will happen this time around or, barring that, that they will at least escape the FBA Finals with their dignity intact. But will they? There's only one way to find out.

Uranium City Nukes 91–83 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto
Uranium City Nukes 78–84 Real Haritzaga Baloncesto
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 69–94 Uranium City Nukes
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 64–93 Uranium City Nukes
Real Haritzaga Baloncesto 76–90 Uranium City Nukes

Uranium City Nukes wins the 2029 FBA Finals 4-1

As the meme goes, Haritzaga didn't. At least they improved on their record from last season. Los Jugadores were able to win one game in their finals series against Uranium City, Still, that's now the third consecutive FBA Finals that Haritzaga has lost, and unless they do something about it, this is also probably going to be the last time that they'll have a reasonable chance of winning it. Their star players, but especially Toni Cagromizuetakoechea, are not getting any younger, and there are always new teams looking to overthrow the old kings and establish themselves as the new forces of Fleftic basketball. But for Uranium City, this is the first time that they've ever won consecutive FBA Championships, and they will all be busy celebrating the return of the Agapito Benzon Trophy to their little town in Fleftic Antarctica after another successful season.

Congratulations to the Uranium City Nukes, your 2029 FBA Champions, winning their first ever back-to-back championships!

[Trans-Dniesters]

2028-29 Pridnestrovian Basketball Super League Regular Season Final Standings

   PBSL                                  Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts
 1 BC Dinamo Bender                       34   28   6  2823 2402 +421    84     Regular season champions, Playoffs
 2 Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters   34   26   8  2641 2365 +276    78     Qualified for PBSL Playoffs
 3 Bratsk Buccaneers                      34   26   8  2640 2389 +251    78     Qualified for PBSL Playoffs
 4 BC Admiral Novorossiysk                34   25   9  2730 2349 +381    75     Qualified for PBSL Playoffs
 5 BC Sheriff Tiraspol                    34   24  10  2659 2507 +152    72     Qualified for PBSL Playoffs
 6 BC CSKA Tiraspol                       34   23  11  2750 2414 +336    69     Qualified for PBSL Playoffs
 7 Dnistrolvovsk Loggers                  34   21  13  2559 2538  +21    63     Qualified for PBSL Playoffs
 8 Vladikarpaty Mountaineers              34   17  17  2609 2499 +110    51     Qualified for PBSL Playoffs
 9 BK Tukums                              34   15  19  2542 2607  −65    45
10 Strigoni Macaresti                     34   15  19  2463 2547  −84    45
11 Incirlik Bombers                       34   13  21  2395 2598 −203    39
12 Vladikrav Chiefs                       34   13  21  2461 2744 −283    39
13 Barrikada Renechev                     34   12  22  2464 2662 −198    36
14 Kesselburger Cagers                    34   12  22  2487 2693 −206    36
15 BC Unterspielsdorf                     34   11  23  2523 2640 −117    33
16 BC Komsomolskaya Tiraspol              34   10  24  2536 2716 −180    30
17 Avankum Basketbol                      34    9  25  2422 2676 −254    27     Relegated to Basketball Second Division
18 Novonikolaysk Bluefins                 34    6  28  2371 2729 −358    18     Relegated to Basketball Second Division

Eintracht Pfalz Basketball and Nord-Vest Representative Team are promoted from the Basketball Second Division into the PBSL.

Interesting, very interesting. For the first time since 2023, the defending PBSL Champions have managed to win the regular season championship of the following season. BC Dinamo Bender, winners of the 2028 PBSL Championship, have managed to win the 2028-29 PBSL regular season title as well. This bodes well for the future of Dinamo. This means that they now have the best chance of retaining their championship. But also remember that there a number of teams who are seeking to dethrone Dinamo from their lofty position, like the perennial bridesmaids of the PBSL Finals the Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters. And don't forget about the other mainstays of the PBSL like BC CSKA Tiraspol, BC Admiral Novorossiysk, and the Bratsk Buccaneers.

Down at the bottom of the table, however, the tale becomes just that little bit more depressing. Once again both teams promoted from the Basketball Second Division have failed to stay in the top flight for longer than this particular season. Surprisingly though, Avankum Basketbol, the team from the Hatay Socialist State participating in their first ever season in the PBSL, have made a decent enough accounting of themselves, winning nine out of 34 possible games and generally being a more decent side than the Novonikolaysk Bluefins, who have been in and out of the PBSL and which performances in the league have varied as such. Really, this season Avankum have actually looked more at home in the PBSL than Novonikolaysk or even some of the other more established sides like Incirlik, Unterspielsdorf, and even former champions Kesselburger Cagers. No one knows how or why the Cagers ended up this far down the table; one can only assume that CSKA, Dinamo, and Sheriff raiding their three-peat-winning team didn't do them any favors. Will they be able to bounce back or will Kesselburg be relegated to mid-table mediocrity like many other of their fellow teams?

Congratulations to BC Dinamo Bender, your 2028-29 Pridnestrovian Basketball Super League regular season champions!

[Trans-Dniesters]

2028-29 PBSL Quarterfinals

(1) BC Dinamo Bender vs. (8) Vladikarpaty Mountaineers

BC Dinamo Bender 85–70 Vladikarpaty Mountaineers
Vladikarpaty Mountaineers 92–86 BC Dinamo Bender
BC Dinamo Bender 69–76 Vladikarpaty Mountaineers
Vladikarpaty Mountaineers 79–95 BC Dinamo Bender
BC Dinamo Bender 62–90 Vladikarpaty Mountaineers

Vladikarpaty Mountaineers wins the series 3-2

(4) BC Admiral Novorossiysk vs. (5) BC Sheriff Tiraspol

BC Admiral Novorossiysk 83–75 BC Sheriff Tiraspol
BC Sheriff Tiraspol 77–54 BC Admiral Novorossiysk
BC Admiral Novorossiysk 76–74 BC Sheriff Tiraspol
BC Sheriff Tiraspol 57–74 BC Admiral Novorossiysk

BC Admiral Novorossiysk wins the series 3-1

(3) Bratsk Buccaneers vs. (6) BC CSKA Tiraspol

Bratsk Buccaneers 79–83 BC CSKA Tiraspol
BC CSKA Tiraspol 84–74 Bratsk Buccaneers
Bratsk Buccaneers 62–95 BC CSKA Tiraspol

BC CSKA Tiraspol wins the series 3-0

(2) Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters vs. (7) Dnistrolvovsk Loggers

Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters 81–70 Dnistrolvovsk Loggers
Dnistrolvovsk Loggers 61–77 Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters
Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters 71–78 Dnistrolvovsk Loggers
Dnistrolvovsk Loggers 73–72 Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters
Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters 81–68 Dnistrolvovsk Loggers

Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters wins the series 3-2

What is that sound? Can you hear it? That is the sound of CSKA fans laughing at their Dinamo counterparts after the latter's team was unceremoniously dumped out of the PBSL Playoffs by the eighth seed Vladikarpaty Mountaineers. In five games, the Mountaineers have put an end to Dinamo's hopes of being the first team in the PBSL to win consecutive championships since the Kesselburger Cagers did it from 2025 to 2027. And if you're wondering why CSKA fans are cackling so hard at Dinamo's downfall, that's because CSKA have not only managed to secure passage to the PBSL Semifinals, they also did it by sweeping their opposition the Bratsk Buccaneers, champions of the 2021 PBSL Finals. And their other rivals Admiral Novorossiysk have also done CSKA a favor by dumping out CSKA's city rivals Sheriff Tiraspol. Meanwhile, the Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters are still on their quest to win that elusive first ever PBSL title. Dnistrolvovsk gave them a good challenge, but in the end the Harbormasters still triumphed and overcame their opposition. Will this finally be Prid-Gavan's year? Or will another team win the biggest prize in Pridnestrovian basketball?

2028-29 PBSL Semifinals

(4) BC Admiral Novorossiysk vs. (8) Vladikarpaty Mountaineers

BC Admiral Novorossiysk 78–71 Vladikarpaty Mountaineers
Vladikarpaty Mountaineers 84–94 BC Admiral Novorossiysk
BC Admiral Novorossiysk 74–71 Vladikarpaty Mountaineers

BC Admiral Novorossiysk wins the series 3-0

(2) Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters vs. (6) BC CSKA Tiraspol

Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters 83–92 BC CSKA Tiraspol
BC CSKA Tiraspol 73–60 Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters
Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Harbormasters 57–94 BC CSKA Tiraspol

BC CSKA Tiraspol wins the series 3-0

Unfortunately for the Harbormasters though, this is where their journey ends. They've been a pretty strong team in the past few seasons but on this occasion however, CSKA Tiraspol have proven too tough for them to handle. In the other semifinals series, Admiral Novorossiysk also showed themselves to be prime contenders for the title after sweeping the darlings of the tournament, the Vladikarpaty Mountaineers. The Mountaineers will surely wish that they could have gone further than this, but at least they will have the undying admiration and thanks of CSKA fans for bringing the ultimate humiliation upon Dinamo Bender. But can CSKA ride this tide of good fortune to the PBSL title or will Admiral beat them to it?

---

2028-29 PBSL Finals

(4) BC Admiral Novorossiysk vs. (6) BC CSKA Tiraspol

BC Admiral Novorossiysk 74–72 BC CSKA Tiraspol
BC CSKA Tiraspol 64–76 BC Admiral Novorossiysk
BC Admiral Novorossiysk 65–65 BC CSKA Tiraspol (82–73 OT)

BC Admiral Novorossiysk wins the 2029 PBSL Championship 3-0

Can you hear that? That is the sound of CSKA fans falling silent and Admiral fans cackling in delight at their triumph over their Army rivals. CSKA and other fans may have had the time of their lives reveling in the misery of Admiral fans in recent years, specifically the Admiral football team's shock relegation from the Pridnestrovian Super League back in 2022 and also the football team's surprising loss against second-tier Vorpommern Nyqvist in the Pridnestrovian Cup in 2027, but in 2029 the Admiral fans will have their chance to dish it out against all of their rival fans because in this year 2029, Admiral Novorossiysk are the basketball champions of Pridnestrovia.

Congratulations to BC Admiral Novorossiysk, your 2029 Pridnestrovian Basketball Super League champions!

[APOC Coalition]

2029 Rugby Coalition Regular Season Final Standings

   Rugby Coalition                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts   TB   LB  Ttl
 1 San Seriffe Bad Hombres               30   18   3   9   385  295  +90    78    1    7   86     Minor premiers, Qualified for playoffs
 2 Haranguer Death Worms                 30   18   3   9   389  307  +82    78    1    6   85     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Oshkosh Dnistrosh                     30   18   0  12   462  366  +96    72    3    7   82     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Red Deg Red Bulls                     30   18   0  12   313  269  +44    72    1    8   81     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Wa Deg Carabiners                     30   17   2  11   417  384  +33    72    1    2   75     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Zheleznogorsk Atomsplitters           30   14   2  14   356  308  +48    60    1   10   71     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Kesselburger Packers                  30   15   1  14   316  292  +24    62    0    9   71     Qualified for playoffs
 8 Sasmuan Supermen                      30   14   3  13   272  280   −8    62    0    8   70     Qualified for playoffs
 9 Ken Deg Rooks                         30   15   1  14   418  377  +41    62    1    6   69
10 Bytuch Feld Dinosaurs                 30   14   2  14   353  326  +27    60    1    7   68
11 Tikrit Oilers                         30   13   1  16   431  447  −16    54    2   10   66
12 Bierburg Sentinels                    30   12   2  16   350  459 −109    52    2    8   62
13 Jasvirabad Titans                     30   12   2  16   301  372  −71    52    1    8   61
14 Nineveh Whales                        30   11   0  19   453  493  −40    44    3   11   58
15 Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Strike Force   30   11   0  19   490  598 −108    44    0    9   53     Relegated to Division 2
16 Albatross Bed Deg                     30    9   0  21   385  518 −133    36    2   12   50     Wooden spoon, Relegated to Division 2

AS you can see, once again the Rugby Coalition has been tinkered with by the powers that be. Where once there was only one relegation spot down to Division 2, now there are, well, two. The Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Strike Force, the first ever champions of the Rugby Coalition Division 2, have made a good accounting for themselves in the top flight of the Coalition but in the end everyone else was much better than them. Everyone except Albatross Bed Deg, that is. Albatross have won a fair few wooden spoons in their lifetime, but now their current wooden spoon comes with a healthy dose of relegation to Division 2. It's not something the team and their fans will particularly like given the circumstances.

And now on to the top eight. San Seriffe have clinched top spot after one of the more exciting minor premiership races in the history of the Rugby Coalition, with the Haranguer Death Worms missing out on the regular season title by virtue of a single bonus point. Defending premiers Oshkosh Dnistrosh round out the top three places, and had they only managed to win one more game, they would have taken top spot away from San Seriffe on points difference. Arguably the surprises of the season are the Zheleznogorsk Atomsplitters, who gave themselves a boost up the table with their healthy pool of bonus points, and the Sasmuan Supermen, who have qualified (albeit barely) for their first ever Rugby Coalition playoffs. This should shape up into being a very interesting finals series.

2029 Rugby Coalition Division 2 Final Standings

  Division 2             Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts   TB   LB  Ttl
1 Rivymiyitevko Victory   28   17   1  10   483  395  +88    70    2    8   80     Champions, Promoted to Rugby Coalition
2 Haritzaga County Ibex   28   16   2  10   483  424  +59    68    4    4   76     Promoted to Rugby Coalition
3 Manitogoro Madness      28   16   1  11   473  369 +104    66    3    5   74
4 Cauayan Pandas          28   16   0  12   428  372  +56    64    3    7   74
5 Moaria Waves            28   14   2  12   436  432   +4    60    0    7   67
6 Ab Deg Roosters         28   11   0  17   408  505  −97    44    1    9   54
7 Gibeon Iron Men         28    9   1  18   420  469  −49    38    2   13   53
8 Dan Deg Wolfpack        28    9   1  18   407  572 −165    38    1    6   45

There will not be an immediate return to the Rugby Coalition this season for the Manitogoro Madness. They have lost out on the second promotion place to the Haritzaga County Ibex by virtue of a single draw. That draw may grow to become one of Manitogoro's biggest regrets if they end up becoming long-time residents of Division 2. The Ibex, after finishing second for the second straight time, will finally go up to the Rugby Coalition alongside Pridnestrovia's Rivymiyitevko Victory, meaning all of the non-Pridnestrovian commentators will have their mouths full once again with another difficult-to-pronounce Pridnestrovian name.

---

Elimination Finals
(5) Wa Deg Carabiners 3–14 Sasmuan Supermen (8)
(6) Zheleznogorsk Atomsplitters 3–10 Kesselburger Packers (7)

The Sasmuan Supermen continue to surprise the Rugby Coalition. In their first ever finals series, playing as the absolute bottom seed, the Supermen have managed to not only win their elimination final, but they've also knocked out a semi-regular playoff contender in the Wa Deg Carabiners while doing so. Tries from Gamal Morceli and Yedidah Bashevis, coupled with Sasmuan holding Wa Deg to only a single penalty, saw to it that the team from the Mayin Islands of the Sultanate of Oontaz will make their way to a semifinal. Meanwhile, last season's grand finalists the Zheleznogorsk Atomsplitters saw their attempts at returning to the biggest stage in Coalition rugby union stop short at their own home in front of their own fans. The Kesselburger Packers squeezed their way through to the other semifinal courtesy of a converted try from Bert Christmann, while Zheleznogorsk's only score came late in the second half from Vyacheslav Khloponin. The Atomsplitters will now have an extended period in which to think about how they managed the near impossible last season and how to replicate it for the next.

Qualifying Finals
(1) San Seriffe Bad Hombres (a.e.t.) 8–3 Red Deg Red Bulls (4)
(2) Haranguer Death Worms 20–10 Oshkosh Dnistrosh (3)

For the first time since the establishment of the Rugby Coalition playoffs, a playoff game has gone into extra time; specifically the game between the San Seriffe Bad Hombres and the Red Deg Red Bulls. San Seriffe, as the current minor premiers of the Rugby Coalition, were expected to at least to score much more than three points against the Red Bulls in eighty minutes, and Red Deg were also expected to score at least more than three points against the Bad Hombres, also in eighty minutes. But that is not what happened. Instead, after an initial flurry of chances in the first ten minutes of the first half where both teams scored from penalties, the game settled down and turned seemingly into a war of attrition where both parties were content with probing the other's defenses and not really daring to go on the attack unless there was a true clear-cut chance to score. And said clear-cut chance didn't appear until the second half of extra time, when Jacan Horovitz broke through Red Deg's lines and rushing for the in-goal area. Adam Watts missed the conversion, but it turned out to be no matter for the Bad Hombres, as the try itself was enough to see their straight through to the preliminary final while Red Deg will have to fight it out with the Sasmuan Supermen in the semifinal if the Red Bulls want to make it to the preliminary final as well.

It's a different story between the Haranguer Death Worms and Oshkosh Dnistrosh, the defending premiers. Perhaps it's the fact that the people have all gotten used to Dnistrosh cruising their way to title after title that the news that Dnistrosh have been defeated (by the Death Worms no less, who have a less-than-stellar record against Oshkosh) has come as a real surprise indeed. It is often said that rugby is a game where sometimes the team that played better doesn't win, but not this time. This time Haranguer were clearly the better side, and Dnistrosh simply had no response to them.

Semifinals
(4) Red Deg Red Bulls 0–10 Sasmuan Supermen (8)
(3) Oshkosh Dnistrosh 21–14 Kesselburger Packers (7)

They are the gift that just keeps on giving. The Sasmuan Supermen are making a truly remarkable display of themselves even as they are playing in only their first ever Rugby Coalition playoffs. The mere fact that they've survived their elimination final against Wa Deg is amazing enough. But now they have also defeated the Red Deg Red Bulls, themselves the Rugby Coalition premiers back in 2025 and 2027, thanks to tries from Nizaam el-Radi and Jhonmark Talavera. Meanwhile, over in Dnistrosh, Oshkosh have survived the challenge of the Kesselburger Packers. The Packers went toe to toe with the home side, literally scoring tit-for-tat tries before Oleksei Mamenchikov finally broke the deadlock in the 70th minute and punch Dnistrosh's ticket to the preliminary finals, where their old enemy San Seriffe awaits them.

Preliminary Finals
(1) San Seriffe Bad Hombres 6–3 Oshkosh Dnistrosh (3)
(2) Haranguer Death Worms 10–12 Sasmuan Supermen (8)

The Supermen of Sasmuan are well and truly something special. Their first ever Rugby Coalition playoffs and they've already gone all the way to the Grand Final. The Supermen have also shown that a team doesn't always need tries to get a win. Why, playing away against the Haranguer Death Worms, Sasmuan dared to score four penalties and win their preliminary final that way. Ibrahim al-Moghaddam must surely be earning his keep after scoring all four penalties. And the same can be said for Fernando de Gallegos after he scored the winning drop goal for San Seriffe against their old premiership rivals Oshkosh Dnistrosh. The San Seriffe-Dnistrosh match also proved that a rivalry game doesn't need tries to be intense and crazy all at the same time. But here is the crazy thing: both teams coming to play in the 2029 Rugby Coalition Grand Final are first-time participants. Yes, strange as it may sound, this is the first time that San Seriffe will play in a Grand Final. We all know that it's Sasmuan's first time, so isn't it strange to learn that this is also the Bad Hombres' first time in the big game? Slogging it out over thirty games is one thing for the Bad Hombres, but what about a single one-time big-time game to decide the fate of the premiership? Who will be able to handle the pressure? And who will buckle and cave in? A date at the Ons Deg Stadium will find out.

2029 Rugby Coalition Grand Final
October 21, 2029 @ Ons Deg Stadium, Ons Deg, Copper Cuprum

(1) San Seriffe Bad Hombres 0–12 Sasmuan Supermen (8)

It's impossible! But it's happened! The impossible has happened! The Sasmuan Supermen are the 2029 Rugby Coalition premiers! And they didn't even score any tries to accomplish that, a Rugby Coalition record! This season, and this Grand Final in particular, has been a season of records: the first time a team from Mayin made it to the grand final, the first time that no tries at all were scored in a grand final, the first time a team won the premiership without scoring any tries, and the first time that an eighth-seed has won the premiership. And now the Supermen are the proud holders of not just these records, but also the Rugby Coalition premiership itself. It's a very distinct honor for such a team to hold, and with the premiership comes a slot in the Rugby Coalition's entries into the Rugby Union Champions' Trophy. Oshkosh Dnistrosh won the RUCT upon the APOC Coalition's first entry into the competition but after that APOC's performances have been lackluster, to say the least. Will Sasmuan be able to regain the Coalition's old glory in international club rugby union or will they stumble and fall like all of the others that have come before them? There's only one way to find out, of course, but before all that happens, let Sasmuan enjoy their first ever Rugby Coalition premiership.

Congratulations to the Sasmuan Supermen, your 2029 Rugby Coalition premiers!

[Abanhfleft]

Four years ago, with the continuing rise in popularity of the newly established Rugby Coalition among Fleftic viewers and fans and the decline of of viewership ratings and attendances, the old Fleftic Rugby Union Super League made the tough decision to start over and rebrand and even renew itself. Thus the Fleftic Rugby Premiership was born. It was still the same twelve teams that participated in the FRUSL in the 2023-24 season (minus the relegated team, of course) and the only thing that had changed was the name of the league, but still, the rebranding worked wonders. People flocked back to the original rugby union league in Abanhfleft, and they didn't have to sacrifice their newfound fandoms in the Rugby Coalition to reconnect with their old favorite clubs. No matter that the winners of the new Rugby Premiership have been the same two teams for the past five years (the Almohads of Releinthi and the Jokers of Effelenendro); the people wanted to see good rugby and the Premiership finally delivered it.

These are the twelve teams that comprise the 2028-29 Fleftic Rugby Premiership.

• Almohads (based in Releinthi)
• Jokers (based in Effelenendro)
• Olistan Oxen (based in Olistan)
• Pirates (based in Riuwiee)
• Hercules Rugby (based in Bendy Benny)
• Pilken Aces (based in Pilken, Dav Province)
• Bull Sharks (based in Porcusces, Ceneisis Province)
• Admirals (based in Reyes, Dorfdifving Province)
• Notoshk Red Wings (based in Notoshk, Mezaladbyi Province)
• Makélé-Mbappé (based in Calfragilis)
• Upper Caisse Rugby (based in Verdana, San Seriffe Province)
• Wingfoots (based in Wanda Island)

Wingfoots, as champions of the 2027-28 Fleftic Rugby Union Championship, replaced the Manilaonilao Hornets in the Rugby Premiership. The Hornets were relegated to the FRU Championship for the 2028-29 season.

2028-29 Fleftic Rugby Premiership Regular Season Final Standings

   Rugby Premiership     Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   TB   LB   Pts  Ttl
 1 Jokers                 22   17   1   4   453  253 +200    4    1    70   75     Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 2 Olistan Oxen           22   14   0   8   401  282 +119    2    5    56   63     Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 3 Almohads               22   14   0   8   335  240  +95    2    3    56   61     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Bull Sharks            22   13   1   8   383  325  +58    3    3    54   60     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Pilken Aces            22   12   2   8   350  296  +54    2    4    52   58     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Hercules Rugby         22   10   2  10   243  216  +27    1    7    44   52     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Makélé-Mbappé          22   11   0  11   230  291  −61    1    4    44   49
 8 Pirates                22    9   0  13   385  319  +66    3    8    36   47
 9 Admirals               22   10   0  12   305  282  +23    2    5    40   47
10 Upper Caisse Rugby     22   10   0  12   257  357 −100    1    4    40   45
11 Notoshk Red Wings      22    6   0  16   271  431 −160    1    7    24   32
12 Wingfoots              22    3   0  19   127  448 −321    0    5    12   17     Relegated to FRU Championship

Manilaonilao Hornets is promoted from the FRU Championship to the Premiership.

The Wingfoots' stay in the Rugby Premiership did not last very long, did it? And their record speaks for itself: three wins in 22 games, and 17 points overall. This may be one of the worst performances ever in the history of Abanhfleft's top rugby union competition. It's certainly enough to get the Wingfoots relegated with a handful of games to go in the Premiership. The Wingfoots will be replaced by none other than the Manilaonilao Hornets, who took the FRU Championship by storm and strolled to the title and the lone promotion place. At the top of the table, it's no surprise that it's the Jokers who occupy top spot, as that place has been alternated between Jokers and Almohads for the past five seasons along with the premiership itself. But what is surprising is that the Olistan Oxen have managed to sneak into second spot, thus securing themselves a bye to the semifinals, something they haven't had much of since the rebranding to the Rugby Premiership. Jokers and Olistan take the top two spots and the byes to the semifinals, while Almohads, Bull Sharks, Pilken Aces, and Hercules Rugby will fill out the rest of the bracket and duke it out for the remaining two spots for the semis in the qualifying finals.

---

2029 Fleftic Rugby Premiership Playoffs
As part of its rebranding, the Rugby Premiership decided to introduce a new playoff system which gives the top six teams a chance to potentially win the premiership title. In the qualifying finals, third place plays against sixth and fourth plays against fifth. And then the Rugby Premiership took a page out of the FNLAF's book and made it so that the lowest surviving seed from the qualifying finals will face the first seed, while the other qualifying final winner will go up against the second seed. This means that if the sixth seed wins against third and fifth wins against fourth, the sixth seed will play against first while fifth goes up against second. It looks complicated at first but people have eventually gotten used to it. And now, without further ado, let us examine the 2029 Fleftic Rugby Premiership playoffs.



Qualifying Finals
(3) Almohads 17–22 Hercules Rugby (6)
(4) Bull Sharks 18–11 Pilken Aces (5)

For the first time in five seasons, there will be no chance of yet another Almohads-Jokers Grand Final. Hercules Rugby have looked at the history of the Rugby Premiership and decided, "not today." Almohads took an early lead in this qualifying final but Hercules slowly but surely chipped away at the Almohads' advantage before, with only three minutes left to go, Emeka Bitowo plowed through Almohads' lines and scored the winning try. It was more business as usual though in the other qualifying final, with the Bull Sharks edging out the Aces of Pilken in a close and hard-fought match where the final try also decided the winner. The only difference was that Fred Mondragon was able to score the conversion on top of Allan Bayamon's try to make it harder for the Aces to come back and force extra time. It has now become more difficult to pick out two grand finalists from this particular batch. Jokers surely have a chance, but what should happen if Hercules gets it in themselves once again to eliminate another favorite? And who could be favored between the Oxen and the Bull Sharks to go through to the Grand Final?

Semifinals
(1) Jokers 46–11 Hercules Rugby (6)
(2) Olistan Oxen 13–10 Bull Sharks (4)

The Jokers, realizing that this was perhaps their best chances of winning a premiership without having to face the Almohads for it, have decided that they will take advantage of the opportunity and they don't care who they have to go up against in order to win. Thus (probably) explains the 46 points that they scored against the hapless Hercules Rugby Football Club, who looked like they didn't really know what hit them. The Jokers have been known to have that effect on other teams. Meanwhile, it appears that the Olistan Oxen have used the time to study the Bull Sharks and put that study to good use in their semifinal game, as in this tight and close affair it was eventually a penalty from Robert Noburo-Sampson that saw the Oxen through to the Grand Final. It's going to be an exciting one, considering that it's no longer an Almohads-Jokers affair. But who will come out triumphant between these two teams? Will Jokers take advantage of the loss of Almohads to claim dominance over Fleftic rugby once again, or will the Olistan Oxen become the first new premiers in five seasons?

2029 Fleftic Rugby Premiership Grand Final
May 26, 2029 @ The Rugby Grounds, Releinthi

(1) Jokers 20–14 Olistan Oxen (2)

It had always seemed inevitable and yet there were still some of those who dared to question whether the age of the hegemony of the Jokers and the Almohads was about to come to an end. And here is the proof that that age is still not yet over. Once again it was a close and even match between the Jokers and the Oxen, but once again it is the team with the more chances taken than missed that has seen themselves through to victory. The Jokers scored a couple of penalties through their regular kicker Karim Thabeeti, a couple of penalties which proved to be the difference between the Jokers and the Oxen. And that settles it: the Jokers are the premiers of the 2029 season!

Congratulations to Jokers, your 2028-29 Fleftic Rugby Premiership champions!

[Copper Cuprum]

2028 Copperite Rugby League Regular Season Final Standings

   CRL                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts
 1 Vay Deg Eels              30   23   0   7   412  296 +116    46     Minor premiers, Qualified for playoffs
 2 Sub Deg Raiders           30   19   0  11   273  198  +75    38     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Nay Deg Dragons           30   17   1  12   346  245 +101    35     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Red Deg Adders            30   17   1  12   341  269  +72    35     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Bed Deg Bantams           30   15   3  12   467  388  +79    33     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Eb Deg Bulldogs           30   16   1  13   434  380  +54    33     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Al Deg Barracudas         30   16   1  13   386  353  +33    33     Qualified for playoffs
 8 Pad Deg Harriers          30   14   1  15   362  333  +29    29     Qualified for playoffs
 9 Wa Deg Giants             30   13   3  14   344  317  +27    29
10 For Deg Eagles            30   13   3  14   215  302  −87    29
11 Uld Deg Stingrays         30   14   0  16   291  270  +21    28
12 Wid Deg Sharks            30   12   2  16   194  294 −100    26
13 Jes Deg Wingmen           30   11   2  17   325  423  −98    24
14 South Ons Deg Rabbitohs   30   10   3  17   267  317  −50    23
15 Ken Deg Broncos           30   10   3  17   312  455 −143    23
16 Nes Deg Stars             30    7   2  21   346  475 −129    16

Let us first of all talk about a couple of the surprising results that this particular Copperite Rugby League ladder has brought us. First off, the minor premiers. Vay Deg have actually won a minor premiership. Vay Deg Eels, the perennial underachievers, constantly letting their fans down with tales of almost-minors and nearly-there premierships, have finally won something in this decade. Make no mistake, the Eels are a historically winning side, but trophies have been a little hard to come by in recent times, especially under the time of both Chiefs Gon and Deg. But the fans of the Eels do not let that particular fact distract them from celebrating their first ever minor premiership in exactly twenty years.

Sadder news though for fans of the Uld Deg Stingrays: after their historic premiership season last year, the Stingrays have fallen right back down the ladder into the zone where they're neither good enough to make the playoffs nor are they so bad as to merit discussion for deserving wooden spoon recipients. From the start of the season, the Stingrays have had one mission and one mission only: prove to the rest of the CRL and the Chiefdom that their premiership season was not a fluke and that they are now well and truly back among the elite of the league. But they failed, and they failed, if not exactly spectacularly, then at least with some style. In some other seasons, their record would have been enough to put them in the playoffs, even if just in the lower part of the bracket, but not this time. This marks the first time in seven seasons that the defending premiers are unable to defend their title by virtue of not qualifying for the playoffs. All the Stingrays can do now is regroup, rebuild, and prepare for the next season. Perhaps that's when they will finally be able to regain their relevance?

---

Elimination Finals
(5) Bed Deg Bantams 6–8 Pad Deg Harriers (a.e.t.) (8)
(6) Eb Deg Bulldogs 15–16 Al Deg Barracudas (7)

For the first time in three seasons, the Eb Deg Bulldogs will not be able to participate in the Copperite Rugby League Grand Final. Fans of the CRL who were beginning to think that the Grand Final was becoming a little bit predictable, what with the Bulldogs seemingly always finding a way to get there, can now rest easy knowing that the Al Deg Barracudas have knocked the Bulldogs right out of the competition. It wasn't an easy task; the Bulldogs really gave the Barracudas the fight of their lives, and Eb Deg were really really keen on keeping up their record of making it to their fourth consecutive Grand Final, but a late drop goal from Al Deg's Ubalo Dubata put an end to the Bulldogs' dreams. This also means that Eb Deg will be unable to defend their title in the International Rugby League Challenge Cup, a title which they have won twice in a row already. The mantle of continuing the Copperite dominance in the IRLCC will now fall on the surviving clubs still duking it out for a chance to play in the Grand Final. And no longer among those clubs is the Bed Deg Bantams who once again fall at the first hurdle after their new signing Benjamin Powell from Abanhfleft gave up a needless penalty to the Pad Deg Harriers in extra time, allowing the Harriers to move through to the semifinals where they await the losers of the qualifying finals between Vay Deg and Red Deg.

Qualifying Finals
(1) Vay Deg Eels 0–8 Red Deg Adders (4)
(2) Sub Deg Raiders 8–0 Nay Deg Dragons (3)

Eels fans' joy at their team being crowned minor premiers proved to be short-lived as the Eels found themselves utterly dumbfounded in the face of a stern challenge from the Red Deg Adders, who are looking for yet another shot at the Grand Final after the Eb Deg Bulldogs denied them a chance in last season's preliminary final. The Eels had been scoring points left and right during the regular season, so to see them held scoreless in the qualifying final must have been a shock (albeit an expected one probably from the "true" Eels fans) for everyone watching. But what is not shocking is that the Sub Deg Raiders have made it through to the preliminary final as well at the expense of the Nay Deg Dragons. Unconverted tries from Edale Banota and Kabuse Etoswe were enough to see the Raiders through, and they will now definitely fancy their chances at another premiership now that the Bulldogs are out of the running. Something to think about for Raiders fans.

Semifinals
(1) Vay Deg Eels 26–28 Pad Deg Harriers (8)
(3) Nay Deg Dragons 2–6 Al Deg Barracudas (7)

As they tell their grandchildren about this particular day, Eels fans will tell them that whenever the Eels have a chance to do well, they will never ever take it. Never ever. Evidence of which can be seen in the Eels' semifinal against the eighth seed Pad Deg Harriers. The Harriers have been struggling quite a bit this season, and for any other team this would have been the perfect opportunity to strike and secure that place in the preliminary finals after losing the qualifying final. Except the Vay Deg Eels are not like other teams. Where others see an opportunity to advance, the Eels see an opportunity to bottle it and hand whichever team they're facing a ticket to the prelims. At least that's how Eels fans will remember it. Seriously, how does any given team score 26 points in a semifinal and still get eliminated? The Eels are truly the masters of giving their fans false hope. And perhaps the same thing could be said of the Nay Deg Dragons, who have also fallen against the Al Deg Barracudas. To be fair though, if a team like the Barracudas could remove a team like the Bulldogs from the CRL playoffs then there certainly must be someone out there smiling upon Al Deg. Not that the Dragons really gave a good reason why they should move forward at the Barracudas' expense.

Preliminary Finals
(4) Red Deg Adders 9–17 Al Deg Barracudas (7)
(2) Sub Deg Raiders 8–0 Pad Deg Harriers (8)

Both the Raiders and the Barracudas appear unstoppable right now! What else could be the explanation for the Barracudas scoring eight unanswered points in the second half against the Adders or the Raiders holding the Harriers scoreless. Both these teams look like they really, really want that premiership. And who would be able to deny them? As of this moment, only each other. But who would emerge triumphant between these two teams? Will the Raiders notch another premiership on their belt, or will the Barracudas overcome the odds and become the first team since the Ken Deg Broncos in 2015 to win a premiership as the seventh seed? Only one way to find out.

2028 Copperite Rugby League Grand Final
October 1, 2028 @ First Copperite Bank Stadium, Wa Deg

(2) Sub Deg Raiders 23–8 Al Deg Barracudas (7)

Unfortunately for the Barracudas, this day was not to be their day. The Sub Deg Raiders were simply too good in all aspects of the game, from their attack to their defense and everything in between. As many teams throughout Copper Cuprum (and also the rest of the APOC Coalition) are wont to do, when the score coming to half-time was tied at 8-8, the Raiders' John Cooper went for a drop goal to give his team a mental boost, and it was that boost that took the Raiders over the edge and saw them through to their latest premiership, with the team from Sub Deg scoring 14 unanswered points in the second half against a Barracudas team that looked simply lost and tired and, dare I say it, uninterested. As it happens though, the onus of continuing Copper Cuprum's domination in the IRLCC now falls squarely on the shoulders of both the Raiders and the Barracudas, and only God knows if they have what it takes to survive that grueling competition. But if the Bulldogs could do it, why can't another team?

Congratulations to the Sub Deg Raiders, your 2028 Copperite Rugby League premiers!

[APOC Coalition]

2028 Coalition Rugby League Regular Season Final Standings

   ACRL                  Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts
 1 Piranhacondas          33   23   2   8   444  354  +90    48     Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 2 Boxers                 33   21   1  11   462  333 +129    43     Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 3 Storm                  33   19   2  12   300  189 +111    40     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Buccaneers             33   18   1  14   394  346  +48    37     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Raptors                33   17   3  13   487  465  +22    37     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Hellbats               33   15   3  15   228  256  −28    33     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Boars                  33   15   0  18   386  407  −21    30
 8 Headhunters            33   13   2  18   365  404  −39    28
 9 Falcons                33   13   2  18   309  352  −43    28
10 Mountain Men           33   13   2  18   384  480  −96    28
11 Dead Horses            33   11   2  20   331  412  −81    24
12 Traktor                33    8   4  21   338  430  −92    20

And yet again the Piranhacondas of Noh Deg have taken the minor premiership of the Coalition Rugby League. It's all becoming quite a bit predictable now, kind of like when the Eb Deg Bulldogs of the Copperite Rugby League almost always seemed to find a way to make it into that competition's grand final despite the odds being usually against them. The big difference though is that the Piranhacondas usually win when the Bulldogs usually lose. That's a very big difference, as far as fans of the Piranhacondas and the Bulldogs are concerned. But doesn't all this seem a little bit familiar? It's like we are reliving the previous season of the Coalition Rugby League. The Piranhacondas are top, and Traktor Bender are once again at the bottom. Traktor really does need to improve themselves though. Three out of their four seasons in the Coalition Rugby League have ended in their wins being only in the single digits. It's really a good thing that promotion and relegation is probably not going to be a thing in the Coalition Rugby League for a long time because if Traktor keep up this horrid performance, they could become the first victims of the drop. If it ever happens.

---

Qualifying Finals
(3) Storm 6–8 Hellbats (a.e.t.) (6)
(4) Buccaneers 16–10 Raptors (5)

For the first time in the history of the Rugby Coalition, both qualifying finals will be contested between teams from the same nation; specifically, Storm and Hellbats representing Pridnestrovia in one qualifying final and Buccaneers and Raptors representing Abanhfleft in the other. No matter who wins their respective qualifying final, a team from Abanhfleft and a team from Pridnestrovia are guaranteed to advance, but what is not guaranteed is who will go up against the Piranhacondas and who will play against the Boxers. That is up to the seed of the surviving finalists.

As for the matches themselves, the Storm of Althaus have found themselves unlucky once again. Their latest attempt at winning the Coalition Rugby League premiership was denied in extra time by a penalty from the Hellbats, given away (stupidly in the eyes of Storm fans) by Helmut Siemund, who practically handed the Hellbats a ticket to the semifinals with the aforementioned penalty. Meanwhile, the Buccaneers take a step in the right direction in their quest to regain the premiership by winning against the Raptors. They may have been the winners the first time around but afterwards they've been on a bit of a decline while the Piranhacondas have taken their place and conquered the Coalition Rugby League two seasons running. Here's to the Buccaneers fans hoping that they can dethrone the pretender and reclaim their rightful crown (in their eyes, anyway).

Semifinals
(1) Piranhacondas 3–0 Hellbats (6)
(2) Boxers 6–0 Buccaneers (4)

Both semifinals have become low-scoring affairs, something that will surely have taken fans of the Coalition Rugby League by surprise. Because in previous seasons, lots of points are pretty much guaranteed at this point in the competition, but now it looks like this season's supply has dried up. The Piranhacondas could only scrounge up a meager penalty and drop kick against the Hellbats while the Boxers did better against the Buccaneers, their six points coming courtesy of a try from Benny Villanueva and a conversion from Rashid Abdul Samed. For the first time in a long time, the grand finalists are the first and second seeds respectively. But does this mean that the Piranhacondas will continue their domination of the Coalition Rugby League, or will the Boxers finally grab that elusive premiership for themselves?

2028 Coalition Rugby League Grand Final
October 15, 2028 @ Estadio Artemio Espinosa Villavicencio, General Santos City, Sultanate of Oontaz

(1) Piranhacondas 20–9 Boxers (2)

Not today, as the saying goes. Despite the Boxers pulling the old "score a drop kick just before half-time so we have the mental advantage" trick, that was still not enough for them to achieve victory over the Piranhacondas, who march on to their third straight Coalition Rugby League premiership on the back of a strong (as in absolutely demolishing the Boxers) second half performance. But can their dominance in the Coalition Rugby League translate to similar success in the International Rugby League Challenge Cup? Well, there is as always only one way to find out.

Congratulations to Piranhacondas, your 2027 Coalition Rugby League premiers!

[Abanhfleft]

As promised, the Suwkpel Rush became the twelfth member of the Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft as the final step of the merger between the LLA and now-defunct Abanhfleft Major Lacrosse, the latest attempt a top-level lacrosse association for men in the country. Judging by the reaction to the news of the Rush's joining with LLA though, it seems as if the old adage of "if you can't beat them, join them" is about to be proven true (or false, depending on the outcome of the new season). Owing to their geographical location, the Rush have been placed in the Eastern Division of the LLA. And speaking of geographical locations, it seems as if someone entered a clerical error which resulted in the Piuui Rockets and Jasvirabad Jays being assigned to the wrong divisions. It is truly unbelievable how no one, not even the teams themselves, were able to catch on to the mistake until before the start of this season, but then again that is why there are people working towards the continued improvement of the LLA. And now, without further ado, here is the 2027-28 season of the Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft.

MD1
Mykorrigan Flyers 10–9 Markovsky Tsars
Ogovlich Orioles 17–5 Piuui Rockets
Haranguer Vipers 13–8 Marble Arch Bandidos
Riuwiee Nighthawks 15–10 Olistan Polaris
Releinthi Liberty 14–2 Jasvirabad Jays
Calfragilis Marshals 7–6 Suwkpel Rush

MD2
Markovsky Tsars 10–9 Marble Arch Bandidos
Ogovlich Orioles 11–9 Mykorrigan Flyers
Piuui Rockets 23–4 Haranguer Vipers
Olistan Polaris 9–11 Suwkpel Rush
Releinthi Liberty 10–7 Riuwiee Nighthawks
Jasvirabad Jays 13–7 Calfragilis Marshals

MD3
Mykorrigan Flyers 9–8 Piuui Rockets
Markovsky Tsars 5–13 Haranguer Vipers
Marble Arch Bandidos 10–10 Ogovlich Orioles (11–12 OT)
Riuwiee Nighthawks 13–6 Jasvirabad Jays
Olistan Polaris 8–12 Calfragilis Marshals
Suwkpel Rush 12–12 Releinthi Liberty (14–13 OT)

MD4
Ogovlich Orioles 2–10 Markovsky Tsars
Piuui Rockets 9–8 Marble Arch Bandidos
Haranguer Vipers 9–9 Mykorrigan Flyers (9–12 OT)
Releinthi Liberty 13–11 Olistan Polaris
Jasvirabad Jays 13–8 Suwkpel Rush
Calfragilis Marshals 7–6 Riuwiee Nighthawks

MD5
Markovsky Tsars 5–8 Piuui Rockets
Haranguer Vipers 4–9 Ogovlich Orioles
Marble Arch Bandidos 9–15 Mykorrigan Flyers
Olistan Polaris 13–4 Jasvirabad Jays
Calfragilis Marshals 9–7 Releinthi Liberty
Suwkpel Rush 8–13 Riuwiee Nighthawks

MD6
Mykorrigan Flyers 11–9 Riuwiee Nighthawks
Markovsky Tsars 20–9 Olistan Polaris
Ogovlich Orioles 9–11 Releinthi Liberty
Piuui Rockets 15–9 Jasvirabad Jays
Haranguer Vipers 15–13 Calfragilis Marshals
Marble Arch Bandidos 10–15 Suwkpel Rush

MD7
Olistan Polaris 9–9 Mykorrigan Flyers (9–11 OT)
Releinthi Liberty 8–15 Markovsky Tsars
Jasvirabad Jays 4–9 Ogovlich Orioles
Calfragilis Marshals 8–10 Piuui Rockets
Suwkpel Rush 17–10 Haranguer Vipers
Riuwiee Nighthawks 18–9 Marble Arch Bandidos

MD8
Mykorrigan Flyers 18–13 Releinthi Liberty
Markovsky Tsars 12–5 Jasvirabad Jays
Ogovlich Orioles 12–8 Calfragilis Marshals
Piuui Rockets 12–11 Suwkpel Rush
Haranguer Vipers 17–20 Riuwiee Nighthawks
Marble Arch Bandidos 10–7 Olistan Polaris

MD9
Jasvirabad Jays 2–17 Mykorrigan Flyers
Calfragilis Marshals 5–13 Markovsky Tsars
Suwkpel Rush 16–9 Ogovlich Orioles
Riuwiee Nighthawks 16–10 Piuui Rockets
Olistan Polaris 11–11 Haranguer Vipers (14–13 OT)
Releinthi Liberty 10–6 Marble Arch Bandidos

MD10
Mykorrigan Flyers 11–6 Calfragilis Marshals
Markovsky Tsars 14–13 Suwkpel Rush
Ogovlich Orioles 9–10 Riuwiee Nighthawks
Piuui Rockets 9–13 Olistan Polaris
Haranguer Vipers 4–18 Releinthi Liberty
Marble Arch Bandidos 10–8 Jasvirabad Jays

MD11
Suwkpel Rush 12–13 Mykorrigan Flyers
Riuwiee Nighthawks 13–7 Markovsky Tsars
Olistan Polaris 5–6 Ogovlich Orioles
Releinthi Liberty 17–6 Piuui Rockets
Jasvirabad Jays 9–9 Haranguer Vipers (10–11 OT)
Calfragilis Marshals 4–17 Marble Arch Bandidos

MD12
Riuwiee Nighthawks 9–9 Mykorrigan Flyers (14–9 OT)
Olistan Polaris 6–8 Markovsky Tsars
Releinthi Liberty 14–4 Ogovlich Orioles
Jasvirabad Jays 6–11 Piuui Rockets
Calfragilis Marshals 11–16 Haranguer Vipers
Suwkpel Rush 23–4 Marble Arch Bandidos

MD13
Mykorrigan Flyers 9–9 Olistan Polaris (12–11 OT)
Markovsky Tsars 27–20 Releinthi Liberty
Ogovlich Orioles 17–4 Jasvirabad Jays
Piuui Rockets 18–12 Calfragilis Marshals
Haranguer Vipers 8–9 Suwkpel Rush
Marble Arch Bandidos 9–15 Riuwiee Nighthawks

MD14
Markovsky Tsars 11–17 Mykorrigan Flyers
Piuui Rockets 9–10 Ogovlich Orioles
Marble Arch Bandidos 9–6 Haranguer Vipers
Olistan Polaris 5–24 Riuwiee Nighthawks
Jasvirabad Jays 9–11 Releinthi Liberty
Suwkpel Rush 14–12 Calfragilis Marshals

MD15
Mykorrigan Flyers 16–8 Ogovlich Orioles
Haranguer Vipers 8–15 Piuui Rockets
Marble Arch Bandidos 7–12 Markovsky Tsars
Riuwiee Nighthawks 9–9 Releinthi Liberty (12–11 OT)
Calfragilis Marshals 6–10 Jasvirabad Jays
Suwkpel Rush 10–9 Olistan Polaris

MD16
Ogovlich Orioles 9–13 Marble Arch Bandidos
Piuui Rockets 5–19 Mykorrigan Flyers
Haranguer Vipers 6–17 Markovsky Tsars
Releinthi Liberty 9–11 Suwkpel Rush
Jasvirabad Jays 3–11 Riuwiee Nighthawks
Calfragilis Marshals 9–16 Olistan Polaris

MD17
Mykorrigan Flyers 17–4 Haranguer Vipers
Markovsky Tsars 12–12 Ogovlich Orioles (14–13 OT)
Marble Arch Bandidos 7–9 Piuui Rockets
Riuwiee Nighthawks 12–7 Calfragilis Marshals
Olistan Polaris 9–4 Releinthi Liberty
Suwkpel Rush 18–5 Jasvirabad Jays

MD18
Mykorrigan Flyers 13–11 Marble Arch Bandidos
Ogovlich Orioles 10–13 Haranguer Vipers
Piuui Rockets 9–6 Markovsky Tsars
Riuwiee Nighthawks 9–11 Suwkpel Rush
Releinthi Liberty 16–5 Calfragilis Marshals
Jasvirabad Jays 6–9 Olistan Polaris

2027-28 Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft Regular Season Final Standings

WESTERN DIVISION         Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD
 1 Mykorrigan Flyers      18   16   2   239  161  +78     Division leaders, Bye to Division finals
 2 Markovsky Tsars        18   12   6   215  173  +42     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Piuui Rockets          18   11   7   191  185   +6     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Ogovlich Orioles       18    9   9   176  176    0
 5 Haranguer Vipers       18    6  12   174  237  −63
 6 Marble Arch Bandidos   18    5  13   167  208  −41

EASTERN DIVISION         Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD
 1 Riuwiee Nighthawks     18   14   4   237  159  +78     Division leaders, Bye to Division finals
 2 Suwkpel Rush           18   12   6   227  179  +48     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Releinthi Liberty      18   10   8   219  178  +41     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Olistan Polaris        18    6  12   173  197  −24
 5 Calfragilis Marshals   18    4  14   148  220  −72
 6 Jasvirabad Jays        18    3  15   119  212  −93

As expected, the Suwkpel Rush have gotten right down to business immediately challenging for the Eastern Division title. They may not have gone and won it all like many lacrosse-dedicated observers and websites have predicted, but mostly that's down to a very impressive Riuwiee Nighthawks side who have really invested into the idea that they can dethrone the Markovsky Tsars as the best lacrosse side in the country. Their belief in achieving that feat will certainly have been helped by the fact that unlike every single season since their joining the LLA, the Tsars have not really challenged for the Western Division title. Sure, they're only four games behind division leaders Mykorrigan Flyers, but for a club of Markovsky's stature that might as well be fourteen games behind. Yes, it's hyperbole, but Markovskites are often hyperbolic. It probably comes with living in all that heat and salt. But here are the final results; Mykorrigan and Riuwiee, as division leaders, will advance straight to the division finals, while Markovsky and the Piuui Rockets battle it out in the West and Suwkpel and Releinthi Liberty face off in the East. These are truly exciting times for lacrosse fans.

---

2027-28 Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft Playoffs


Western Division Qualifier
Markovsky Tsars 12–15 Piuui Rockets

For the first time in over a quarter of a century, the Markovsky Tsars will not be able to participate in the Western Division Finals of the Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft! This is perhaps the biggest ever story to come out of the LLA this season! Way bigger than Mykorrigan almost going the whole season undefeated, way bigger than Suwkpel absolutely smashing it up in the league. Because this truly is a newsworthy story. The Tsars have always made it through to at least the Division Finals stage of the playoffs since they first joined the league, and for them to be not able to do it in over twenty-five years is truly a potential sign of the times. Perhaps the Tsars' time is finally over. Long live the revolution, seize the means of production and all that stuff. Really though, if there should ever be one person to get the credit for bringing down the Tsars, it must be Pearline Cordes, scorer of the three decisive goals that saw the Rockets advance to the Western Division Finals. Yes, hat tricks are somewhat easier to score in lacrosse than in other sports like football or rugby, but still, Cordes must be commended for braving the final minutes of the fourth quarter in order to score not one, not two, but three goals against the Tsars and live to tell the tale.

Eastern Division Qualifier
Suwkpel Rush 13–10 Releinthi Liberty

No less surprising (but still much noteworthy) is Suwkpel's victory over Releinthi in the Eastern Division Qualifier. Suwkpel are very much a quality lacrosse side, but in terms of challenging for the LLA title, it's safe to say that they are not the favorites. Perhaps the bookies have them in with an outside chance, but the Rush were expected to take some time to adjust to the level of play in the LLA. Well, it appears as if they've already adjusted enough to stroll right into the playoffs, and now it seems as if Suwkpel are going to stroll into the Eastern Division Final as well. The Liberty put up one hell of a fight, but the Rush, on the back of veteran performances from the likes of Romeo John and Armando Lachance, were simply too much for the women of Releinthi. This situation now leaves Liberty fans the choice between supporting their deadly rivals Riuwiee Nighthawks to defeat the Rush or hoping that the Rush won't let the Nighthawks get their hands on the Luzviminda Lozima Trophy. Tough choice.

---

2027-28 Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft Division Finals
Western Division
Mykorrigan Flyers 12–13 Piuui Rockets

Things just keep getting better and better for the Piuui Rockets. Nobody fancied them getting into the playoffs in the first place. Nobody fancied the Rockets winning against the defending champions Markovsky. And nobody fancied the Rockets winning against the Flyers. And yet here they are, standing on the cusp of history. The Rockets are about to make their first LLA Final appearance since 2010 when they were beaten by the Riuwiee Nighthawks. Time will tell if 2028 will see a rematch of the 2010 final, but for now, it's important to note that the game between Mykorrigan and Piuui was very close, with the deciding goal coming once again in the final seconds, this time from Piuui's Cherish Espinal. Espinal really probably shouldn't have scored; it was a snap shot from long range, but Latoya Heidenreich didn't react in time to stop the ball from going in. In fact, Heidenreich didn't reach at all. It's very possible that she didn't even see the ball until it was too late, and that will most probably have cost the Mykorrigan Flyers the chance to pick up another trophy.

Eastern Division
Riuwiee Nighthawks 10–11 Suwkpel Rush

And it's very much the same story for the Suwkpel Rush over in the Eastern Division Final. The Rush were most definitely not fancied to make it all the way to the Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft Final, and yet here they are. The Riuwiee Nighthawks proved themselves to be very, very tough competition; in fact, they kept the Rush only on single digits until the final two minutes of the game when Suwkpel and Romeo John unleashed a barrage of goals that eventually saw them take the lead in the literal last second. As the saying goes though, a win is a win, and Suwkpel will definitely take what they've got and then give it their all come the final. Both Piuui and Suwkpel were not expected to make it all the way when the season began, and now they're both there. No matter who wins, this will be seen as vindication for all of those fans who have gotten perhaps a little bit sick and tired that the same teams keep winning over and over again. Truly this is a season of change.

---

2027-28 Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft Final
Suwkpel Rush 17–6 Piuui Rockets

And the season of change has culminated in perhaps the biggest ever shock in the history of the Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft. The Suwkpel Rush, first time participants in the league after their brief and ultimately ill-fated affiliation with Abanhfleft Major Lacrosse, have won their first ever Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft title at the first time of asking. Everyone was predicting this contest to be a tight and closely contested affair with both squads being seemingly balanced on paper. But paper counts for nothing once both teams are on the field, and on the field Suwkpel showed their toughness and their quality with a commanding win against the Piuui Rockets. Armando Lachance accounted for nearly half of the Rush's goals in this game, tallying 8 out of Suwkpel's 17. Burl Prunty was very much a stalwart goaltender for the Rush as well, protecting his team's goal and generally frustrating the likes of Pearline Cordes, Cherish Espinal, and Tomiko Legaspi throughout the sixty minutes. And when all has been said and done, the Suwkpel Rush have been crowned the winners of the 2027-28 Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft season, and along with the honor of being the first men's lacrosse team to lift the Luzviminda Lozima Trophy comes a ticket to the International Domestic Lacrosse Organization Champions Cup, where they will now be challenged to uphold Abanhfleft's reputation as a multiversal lacrosse powerhouse.

Congratulations to the Suwkpel Rush, your 2027-28 Lacrosse League of Abanhfleft champions!

[Abanhfleft]

The Fleftic National Ice Hockey League, Abanhfleft's premier ice hockey competition, is back for a new season, and with the new season comes a new league structure. Gone are the days when getting into the playoffs was determined by a team's position in their division; now, only their position in the conference matters when it comes to deciding if they get into the playoffs or not. Of course, tiebreakers still matter in the conference standings, but possibly not as much as in the old divisional seeding system. And the FNIHL will still retain its old Western and Eastern Conferences despite all the other major leagues in the country reorganizing themselves into Northern and Southern Conferences. Without further ado, here are the final standings for the 2027-28 FNIHL regular season.

WESTERN CONFERENCE                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %
 1 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves [x]     82   48  18  16   115   52  +63    0.695
 2 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens [x]   82   45  20  17   145   83  +62    0.671
 3 Sfax Heat [x]                    82   36  19  27   137  100  +37    0.555
 4 Bytuch Azam Rays                 82   35  20  27   147  124  +23    0.549
 5 Oof Blizzard                     82   35  17  30   112  105   +7    0.530
 6 Besanza Basques                  82   31  23  28   142  124  +18    0.518
 7 Mykorrigan Dust Devils           82   32  20  30   134  129   +5    0.512
 8 Wadim-ti Force [y]               82   33  17  32   125  115  +10    0.506
 9 Reyes Doom                       82   30  23  29    73   65   +8    0.506
10 Marble Arch Cavalry              82   31  19  32   106  121  −15    0.494
11 Releinthi Deathsticks            82   30  16  36   102   99   +3    0.463
12 Markovsky Berserkers             82   26  22  34   104  119  −15    0.451
13 Braganopolis Aces                82   27  17  38   144  211  −67    0.433
14 Wanda City Green Jackets         82   26  18  38   127  136   −9    0.427
15 Riuwiee Icemen                   82   16  11  55    85  205 −120    0.262

*[x] = division champion
*[y] = Wadim-ti ahead of Reyes on H2H results

EASTERN CONFERENCE                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %
 1 Porcusces Bucks [x]              82   44  20  18   138   69  +69    0.659
 2 Lotharstadt Jaegers [x]          82   42  19  21   126   75  +51    0.628
 3 Immola Venom [x]                 82   42  17  23   124   89  +35    0.616
 4 Antslinngs City Tarpons          82   41  18  23    90   54  +36    0.610
 5 Suwkpel Gorillas                 82   37  18  27   196  145  +51    0.561
 6 Mereilles Dockers                82   32  20  30    90   74  +16    0.512
 7 Pilken Aviators                  82   34  15  33    69   71   −2    0.506
 8 Ja Steamwheelers                 82   31  20  31   138  129   +9    0.500
 9 Bendy Benny Hammerheads          82   27  26  29   120  139  −19    0.488
10 Vikrant Steelers                 82   28  22  32   113  108   +5    0.476
11 Manilaonilao Blazers             82   22  24  36   118  139  −21    0.415
12 Calfragilis Roughriders          82   23  21  38   129  156  −27    0.409
13 Bergson Fortress                 82   18  23  41    98  187  −89    0.360
14 Koob Nomads                      82   17  24  41    98  163  −65    0.354
15 Sebet Egrets                     82   18  19  45   107  166  −59    0.335

*[x] = division champion

Surprises abound in the Western Conference as both the defending Bixbee Cup champions Wanda City Green Jackets and the winners of last season's Republic Shield (awarded to the team finishing at the top of the overall league table) Riuwiee Icemen have not only failed to make the playoffs; they both somehow managed to finish at the bottom of their conference. The Icemen themselves have taken an absolute nosedive from being on top of the league overall to being bottom overall. Such a fall from grace. But it also mirrors the fall from grace that the Antslinngs City Tarpons experienced after they had won the Bixbee Cup in 2026. That being said, some of the usual suspects have survived the gauntlet of the regular season to book their place in the playoffs. Favorites to win the Bixbee Cup this season are the Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves, the Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens, the Lotharstadt Jaegers, and the Suwkpel Gorillas.

Here is the format for the 2027-28 FNIHL playoffs.

Western Conference match-ups
(1) Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves vs. (8) Wadim-ti Force

(4) Bytuch Azam Rays vs. (5) Oof Blizzard)

(3) Sfax Heat vs. (6) Besanza Basques

(2) Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens vs. (7) Mykorrigan Dust Devils

Eastern Conference match-ups
(1) Porcusces Bucks vs. (8) Ja Steamwheelers

(4) Antslinngs City Tarpons vs. (5) Suwkpel Gorillas

(3) Immola Venom vs. (6) Mereilles Dockers

(2) Lotharstadt Jaegers vs. (7) Pilken Aviators

[Abanhfleft]

2027-28 FNIHL Playoffs

WESTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves vs. (8) Wadim-ti Force

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–2 Wadim-ti Force
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–0 Wadim-ti Force
Wadim-ti Force 1–0 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Wadim-ti Force 3–2 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 2–1 Wadim-ti Force
Wadim-ti Force 0–2 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–0 Wadim-ti Force

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves wins the series 4-3
(4) Bytuch Azam Rays vs. (5) Oof Blizzard

Bytuch Azam Rays 4–1 Oof Blizzard
Bytuch Azam Rays 0–5 Oof Blizzard
Oof Blizzard 0–1 Bytuch Azam Rays
Oof Blizzard 3–1 Bytuch Azam Rays
Bytuch Azam Rays 2–1 Oof Blizzard
Oof Blizzard 3–1 Bytuch Azam Rays
Bytuch Azam Rays 0–2 Oof Blizzard

Oof Blizzard wins the series 4-3
(3) Sfax Heat vs. (6) Besanza Basques

Sfax Heat 1–0 Besanza Basques
Sfax Heat 1–0 Besanza Basques
Besanza Basques 3–1 Sfax Heat
Besanza Basques 0–0 Sfax Heat (1–0 OT)
Sfax Heat 5–2 Besanza Basques
Besanza Basques 3–0 Sfax Heat
Sfax Heat 1–2 Besanza Basques

Besanza Basques wins the series 4-3
(2) Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens vs. (7) Mykorrigan Dust Devils

Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 1–3 Mykorrigan Dust Devils
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 1–0 Mykorrigan Dust Devils
Mykorrigan Dust Devils 1–7 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens
Mykorrigan Dust Devils 0–1 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 3–0 Mykorrigan Dust Devils

Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens wins the series 4-1
EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Porcusces Bucks vs. (8) Ja Steamwheelers

Porcusces Bucks 1–2 Ja Steamwheelers
Porcusces Bucks 2–1 Ja Steamwheelers
Ja Steamwheelers 2–1 Porcusces Bucks
Ja Steamwheelers 2–2 Porcusces Bucks (2–3 OT)
Porcusces Bucks 1–0 Ja Steamwheelers
Ja Steamwheelers 0–1 Porcusces Bucks

Porcusces Bucks wins the series 4-2
(4) Antslinngs City Tarpons vs. (5) Suwkpel Gorillas

Antslinngs City Tarpons 1–0 Suwkpel Gorillas
Antslinngs City Tarpons 2–0 Suwkpel Gorillas
Suwkpel Gorillas 3–2 Antslinngs City Tarpons
Suwkpel Gorillas 1–0 Antslinngs City Tarpons
Antslinngs City Tarpons 1–1 Suwkpel Gorillas (1–2 OT)
Suwkpel Gorillas 0–2 Antslinngs City Tarpons
Antslinngs City Tarpons 2–1 Suwkpel Gorillas

Antslinngs City Tarpons wins the series 4-3
(3) Immola Venom vs. (6) Mereilles Dockers

Immola Venom 1–0 Mereilles Dockers
Immola Venom 1–1 Mereilles Dockers (2–1 OT)
Mereilles Dockers 0–3 Immola Venom
Mereilles Dockers 0–3 Immola Venom

Immola Venom wins the series 4-0
(2) Lotharstadt Jaegers vs. (7) Pilken Aviators

Lotharstadt Jaegers 0–1 Pilken Aviators
Lotharstadt Jaegers 1–1 Pilken Aviators (1–2 OT)
Pilken Aviators 0–1 Lotharstadt Jaegers
Pilken Aviators 0–1 Lotharstadt Jaegers
Lotharstadt Jaegers 2–1 Pilken Aviators
Pilken Aviators 0–1 Lotharstadt Jaegers

Lotharstadt Jaegers wins the series 4-2

Here are the match-ups for the conference semifinals.

Western Conference semifinals
(1) Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves vs. (5) Oof Blizzard

(2) Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens vs. (6) Besanza Basques

Eastern Conference semifinals
(1) Porcusces Bucks vs. (4) Antslinngs City Tarpons

(2) Lotharstadt Jaegers vs. (3) Immola Venom

---

2027-28 FNIHL Conference Semifinals

WESTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves vs. (5) Oof Blizzard

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–0 Oof Blizzard
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 0–0 Oof Blizzard (0–1 OT)
Oof Blizzard 0–1 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Oof Blizzard 1–2 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–0 Oof Blizzard

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves wins the series 4-1
(2) Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens vs. (6) Besanza Basques

Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 1–0 Besanza Basques
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 1–1 Besanza Basques (1–2 OT)
Besanza Basques 1–5 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens
Besanza Basques 2–0 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 4–0 Besanza Basques
Besanza Basques 1–1 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens (2–1 OT)
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 7–0 Besanza Basques

Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens wins the series 4-3
EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Porcusces Bucks vs. (4) Antslinngs City Tarpons

Porcusces Bucks 0–0 Antslinngs City Tarpons (1–0 OT)
Porcusces Bucks 0–2 Antslinngs City Tarpons
Antslinngs City Tarpons 0–2 Porcusces Bucks
Antslinngs City Tarpons 1–0 Porcusces Bucks
Porcusces Bucks 1–0 Antslinngs City Tarpons
Antslinngs City Tarpons 0–1 Porcusces Bucks

Porcusces Bucks wins the series 4-2
(2) Lotharstadt Jaegers vs. (3) Immola Venom

Lotharstadt Jaegers 0–3 Immola Venom
Lotharstadt Jaegers 2–2 Immola Venom (3–2 OT)
Immola Venom 0–0 Lotharstadt Jaegers (1–0 OT)
Immola Venom 1–2 Lotharstadt Jaegers
Lotharstadt Jaegers 0–4 Immola Venom
Immola Venom 0–1 Lotharstadt Jaegers
Lotharstadt Jaegers 2–2 Immola Venom (2–3 OT)

Immola Venom wins the series 4-3

Here are the match-ups for the FNIHL Conference Finals.

Western Conference Finals
(1) Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves vs. (2) Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens

Eastern Conference Finals
(1) Porcusces Bucks vs. (3) Immola Venom

---

2027-28 FNIHL Conference Finals

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS
(1) Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves vs. (2) Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 0–1 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–1 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens (2–1 OT)
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 1–0 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 0–1 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–0 Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens
Port Thimpodopoulos Aliens 1–1 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves (1–2 OT)

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves wins the 2028 FNIHL Western Conference Finals 4-2
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS
(1) Porcusces Bucks vs. (3) Immola Venom

Porcusces Bucks 2–1 Immola Venom
Porcusces Bucks 4–1 Immola Venom
Immola Venom 2–1 Porcusces Bucks
Immola Venom 1–0 Porcusces Bucks
Porcusces Bucks 2–1 Immola Venom
Immola Venom 0–2 Porcusces Bucks

Porcusces Bucks wins the 2028 FNIHL Eastern Conference Finals 4-2

---

2028 Bixbee Cup Finals
Out of 30 teams, only two remain, and their fates at the Bixbee Cup could not have been more different. The Porcusces Bucks are one of the winningest franchises in the history of the FNIHL with over ten Bixbee Cups to their name, while the Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves have the reputation of always being the bridesmaid and never the bride, being the losers in five out of six Bixbee Cup Finals that they have qualified for. The Direwolves' first (and so far only) Bixbee Cup triumph was in 2025, which is nevertheless later than the last time the Bucks lifted the cup in 2019. Only one team between these two will get lucky and win the Bixbee Cup yet again, but which team will it be? The answer lies below.

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 3–1 Porcusces Bucks
Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves 1–0 Porcusces Bucks
Porcusces Bucks 1–0 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Porcusces Bucks 0–1 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves
Porcusces Bucks 0–1 Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves

Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves wins the 2028 Bixbee Cup Finals 4-1

Congratulations to the Zzimmonnttogg Direwolves, your 2028 Bixbee Cup champions!

[Abanhfleft]

The Fleftic National League of American Football returns for its fourth season as an internationally watched gridiron football league. 32 teams once again will compete for the chance to lift the Fleftic Bowl, but only 12 teams will survive the gauntlet of the regular season to actually make it to the playoffs. Also, in line with Fleftic sporting reforms, the FNLAF has reorganized into the Northern and Southern Football Conferences, resulting in a few old rivalries getting split up. But overall the conference reshuffling shouldn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, should it?

Here are the final results of the 2027-28 FNLAF regular season.

FNLAF NORTHERN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

NFC NORTH                                Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Ogovlich Kings [x]                     16    9   7   0   358  254 +104    0.562
 2 Port Thimpodopoulos Constructors [y]   16    8   8   0   339  231 +108    0.500
 3 Albarecete Albinos                     16    7   9   0   245  430 −185    0.438
 4 Marble Arch Freedom Fighters           16    5  11   0   281  304  −23    0.312

NFC WEST                                 Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Braganopolis Titans [x]                16    7   9   0   301  336  −35    0.438   [1]
 2 Markovsky Lumberjacks                  16    7   9   0   319  285  +34    0.438   [2]
 3 Bytuch Wyk Stingrays                   16    7   9   0   296  296    0    0.438
 4 Rosenpfelblatz Power                   16    6  10   0   288  279   +9    0.375

NFC EAST                                 Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Selid Nomads [x]                       16   11   5   0   295  217  +78    0.688
 2 Piuui Chargers [y]                     16   10   6   0   346  275  +71    0.625
 3 Keephall Dragons                       16    8   8   8   255  285  −30    0.500
 4 Falhall Heroes                         16    6  10   0   264  369 −105    0.375

NFC SOUTH                                Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Dorfdifving Destroyers [x]             16    9   7   0   353  278  +75    0.562
 2 Wadim-ti Rovers                        16    7   9   0   256  252   +4    0.438   [3]
 3 Nnettekkebb Rage                       16    7   9   0   255  371 −116    0.438
 4 Afa-az Protectors                      16    5  11   0   251  350  −99    0.312

* [x] = division champion
* [y] = best division second-place teams
* [1] = Braganopolis ahead of Markovsky and Bytuch Wyk on intradivision win percentage
* [2] = Markovsky ahead of Bytuch Wyk on intradivision win percentage
* [3] = Wadim-ti ahead of Nnettekkebb on intradivision H2H wins

FNLAF SOUTHERN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

SFC NORTH                                Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Effelenendro Bombers [x]               16   10   6   0   351  240 +111    0.625
 2 Riuwiee Knights                        16    8   8   0   256  378 −122    0.500
 3 Releinthi Rangers                      16    7   9   0   306  393  −87    0.438   [1]
 4 Wanda Island Mystics                   16    7   9   0   346  322  +24    0.438

SFC EAST                                 Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Olistan Longhorns [x]                  16   14   2   0   387  242 +145    0.875
 2 Ja War Eagles [y]                      16   10   6   0   307  241  +66    0.625
 3 Garufaloe Cobras                       16    8   8   0   279  336  −57    0.500
 4 Pilken War Pigs                        16    6  10   0   279  297  −18    0.375

SFC WEST                                 Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Uranium City Atoms [x]                 16    9   7   0   356  227 +129    0.562   [2]
 2 San Seriffe Gunslingers                16    9   7   0   350  254  +96    0.562
 3 Tentenaraya Stampede                   16    8   8   0   217  248  −31    0.500
 4 Norrdnhammr Yetis                      16    6  10   0   250  411 −161    0.375

SFC SOUTH                                Pld    W   L   D    PF   PA   PD    Win %
 1 Wappinger Warriors [x]                 16   13   3   0   359  251 +108    0.812
 2 Vikrant Elephants [y]                  16   11   5   0   299  221  +78    0.688
 3 Porcusces Pistoleros                   16    8   8   0   234  273  −39    0.500
 4 Mereilles Marauders                    16    3  13   0   290  422 −132    0.188

* [x] = division champion
* [y] = best division second-place teams
* [1] = Releinthi ahead of Wanda Island on intradivision win percentage
* [2] = Uranium City ahead of San Seriffe on intradivision win percentage

---

And here are the results of the 2027-28 FNLAF playoffs.

Congratulations to the Uranium City Atoms, your 2028 Fleftic Bowl champions, winning back-to-back championships for the first time in their history!

[Trans-Dniesters]

Hello, friends, comrades, and fellow fans in gridiron. Denis Fyodorovich here with yet another very abbreviated review, this time of the fifth season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. More sweeping changes have been made to the PGSL for its fifth season, comrades, biggest of them being the shift from being a single big league into a league with conferences, much like the Fleftic National League of American Football. No longer will the PGSL play as a single league of fourteen teams; now it will play as a league with two conferences of seven teams each. Teams will play 12 games inside their own conference and four games against teams from the other conference. It all sounds complicated right now, but trust me, once you've wrapped your heads around the idea then it makes a lot more sense. Shame that we had to lose Rivalry Week for this, but the PGSL also deliberately constructed the conferences so that even though it might be geographically split, some rivalries still get to be played. The Derby of All Derbies, for example. And now, without further ado, let us all look at the final results of PGSL Season V.

Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League Season V Regular Season Final Standings: Northern Conference

NORTHERN CONFERENCE         Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Dinamo Bender             16   14   2   323  200 +123     Qualified for playoffs
 2 Rheinburg Spartans        16   11   5   314  232  +82     Qualified for playoffs
 3 CSKA Tiraspol             16   10   6   273  196  +77     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Lake Begorod Revolution   16    6  10   265  262   +3     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Macaresti Gladiators      16    6  10   151  211  −60
 6 Kesselburger Kestrels     16    5  11   224  315  −91
 7 Antakya Hawks             16    5  11   242  354 −112

NOTES:
* Lake Begorod ahead of Macaresti on H2H points for
* Kesselburg ahead of Antakya on H2H points for

Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League Season V Regular Season Final Standings: Southern Conference

SOUTHERN CONFERENCE         Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Sheriff Tiraspol          16   13   3   264  132 +132     Qualified for playoffs
 2 Admiral Novorossiysk      16   12   4   320  248  +72     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Bratsk Dolphins           16    7   9   260  195  +65     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Yeralenko Torpedoes       16    7   9   225  248  −23     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Vladikrav Red Death       16    6  10   210  318 −108
 6 Novonikolaysk Sharks      16    6  10   197  255  −58
 7 Dnistrolvovsk Bandits     16    4  12   132  234 −102

NOTES:
* Bratsk ahead of Yeralenko on H2H results
* Vladikrav ahead of Novonikolaysk on H2H points for

And these are the PGSL Season V Playoffs.

Congratulations to Sheriff Tiraspol, your Pridnestrovian Bowl V champions!

[APOC Coalition]

As revealed in this post, the Rugby Coalition has now lost six of its franchises, five on a permanent basis. All of the franchises based in Abanhfleft (San Seriffe Bad Hombres, Haranguer Death Worms, Bytuch Feld Dinosaurs, Jasvirabad Titans, and Haritzaga County Ibex) have voted to leave the Rugby Coalition with the intention of hopefully being integrated into the Fleftic rugby union pyramid, while the Islana Lunigo-based Moaria elected to suspend operations following the instability of both the Rugby Coalition and their own club. This now means that the Rugby Coalition is left with 18 teams, and the remaining APOC Coalition member states with teams still in the organization now have 6 teams each playing in a single league (since obviously now there is no need for a Division 2 of the Rugby Coalition).

Following long and intense negotiations, the new Rugby Coalition format has finally been revealed. The 18 teams will be split into two conferences of 9 teams each, with each member nation having three teams per conference. The highest and lowest ranked sides from a particular nation will be placed in the same conference for parity reasons. Each team will then play the other teams in their own conference twice and the teams in the other conference once. Added to that will be derbies between teams from the same nation for a total of 28 games played per team.

The old playoffs has also been scrapped since there is now no need for it. Instead, a more simple and conventional playoff system will pit the top four teams in each conference against each other, with the first seed playing the fourth and second playing third. The winners of these matches will play each other in the conference finals before the conference winners square off in the Rugby Coalition Grand Final. (OOC: Basically it's Pro14 except with 18 teams instead of, well, 14.) And now, without further ado, let us play the first ever season of the restructured Rugby Coalition.

2030 Rugby Coalition Conference A Final Standings

   CONFERENCE A                         Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts   TB   LB  Ttl
 1 Oshkosh Dnistrosh                     28   19   0   9   600  444 +156    76    3    5   84  Qualified for playoffs
 2 Kesselburger Packers                  28   16   0  12   513  384 +129    64    6    7   77  Qualified for playoffs
 3 Albatross Bed Deg                     28   14   1  13   414  406   +8    58    1    8   67  Qualified for playoffs
 4 Sasmuan Supermen                      28   14   1  13   451  449   +2    58    2    7   67  Qualified for playoffs
 5 Red Deg Red Bulls                     28   14   0  14   443  430  +13    56    1    8   65
 6 Gibeon Iron Men                       28   14   0  14   468  461   +7    56    2    3   61
 7 Dan Deg Wolfpack                      28   13   0  15   411  481  −70    52    3    4   59
 8 Nineveh Whales                        28   11   1  16   424  442  −18    46    1    9   56
 9 Rivymiyitevko Victory                 28    9   0  19   391  460  −69    36    0   11   47

2030 Rugby Coalition Conference B Final Standings

   CONFERENCE B                         Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts   TB   LB  Ttl
 1 Tikrit Oilers                         28   20   0   8   532  429 +103    80    3    3   86  Qualified for playoffs
 2 Wa Deg Carabiners                     28   17   0  11   395  333  +62    68    1    5   74  Qualified for playoffs
 3 Ken Deg Rooks                         28   16   1  11   356  300  +56    66    1    6   73  Qualified for playoffs
 4 Ab Deg Roosters                       28   15   0  13   419  463  −44    60    1    5   66  Qualified for playoffs
 5 Zheleznogorsk Atomsplitters           28   12   0  16   480  471   +9    48    2    8   58
 6 Cauayan Pandas                        28   12   1  15   378  501 −123    50    0    7   57
 7 Bierburg Sentinels                    28   12   0  16   288  322  −34    48    0    8   56
 8 Manitogoro Madness                    28   11   1  16   335  422  −87    46    0    8   54
 9 Pridnestrovskaya Gavan Strike Force   28   10   0  18   362  462 −100    40    2    5   47

As we can see from the results of the regular season, the reorganization of the Rugby Coalition has had no effect at all on the continued dominance of Oshkosh Dnistrosh, who storm to the top of Conference A and take the conference winner award. However, they will not receive the minor premiership this season as another team has managed a better record than the team from Dnistrosh, and that team is, surprisingly enough, the Tikrit Oilers. The Oilers lift their third ever minor premiership, but of course they have their sights focused on the ultimate prize. Still, even if they don't go all the way and win the premiership itself, the Oilers still have a spot in the upcoming RUCT by virtue of their being minor premiers. On another note, the defending premiers Sasmuan Supermen have just barely squeezed into the playoffs, but because they are the fourth seed, their title challenge has come up against a nigh-impossible barrier to surmount in the form of the dominant force of the Rugby Coalition, Oshkosh Dnistrosh. Of course, Sasmuan fans are hoping for a repeat of last season's miracle run, but everyone else has by now accepted that the Supermen's time at the top has come to an end. Or did it? The playoffs will reveal all.

---

Conference A Semifinals
(1) Oshkosh Dnistrosh 25–22 Sasmuan Supermen (4)
(2) Kesselburger Packers 33–8 Albatross Bed Deg (3)

As predicted by lots and lots of people, the Sasmuan Supermen have failed to defeat Oshkosh Dnistrosh. However, that doesn't mean that they just let Dnistrosh walk all over them, no sir. The Supermen kept themselves close behind Oshkosh, scoring two tries and kicking six field goals to maintain the pace, but Oshkosh were simply better when it came to the business of scoring tries. Three of them, in fact, with two being converted, and while a conversion on their third try could have possibly settled their nerves a little bit more, in the end they proved their winning pedigree by hanging on to the win. In stark contrast, the Kesselburger Packers absolutely demolished Albatross Bed Deg, who are participating in the Rugby Coalition playoffs for literally the first time in their history. And to think that if the Fleftic clubs in the Rugby Coalition hadn't decided to jump ship, Albatross would have been relegated down to Division 2 instead. Ah, the vagaries of time. What was, what is, what will be and what could have been. But what definitely happened is the fact that Kesselburg put 33 points past an Albatross side that looked like they were still very much in awe at the fact that they made it into the playoffs in the first place. If Albatross want to make going to the playoffs a regular thing then they need to learn to get their heads into the game. Acting all surprised and open-mouthed is definitely not going to do them any favors.

Conference B Semifinals

(1) Tikrit Oilers 14–7 Ab Deg Roosters (4)
(2) Wa Deg Carabiners 17–7 Ken Deg Rooks (3)

Things appear to have been very tight over in Conference B, with both semifinals being decided by one and two scores respectively. The Wa Deg Carabiners barely managed to squeeze by the Ken Deg Rooks with only a converted try from Fatolu Nudebe settling the affair, but TIkrit had to make it an even closer run thing. With time marching steadily towards 80 minutes and the prospect of extra time looming, the only Oontaznik team in the Conference B playoffs pushed towards the try line with all their might, attempting to keep possession for as long as they could until Pablo Feldmann finally punched his ticket through the Ab Deg defense for his first postseason try, and Mohammed al-Baktiari helpfully slotted in the conversion to ensure that the victory would go Tikrit's way.

Conference Finals
(A1) Oshkosh Dnistrosh 11–18 Kesselburger Packers (A2)
(B1) Tikrit Oilers 7–10 Wa Deg Carabiners (B2)

For the second time in two seasons, Oshkosh Dnistrosh have been eliminated from the Rugby Coalition playoffs. Oshkosh fans will certainly hope that this isn't the start of a new trend. After all, after having been spoiled for success, they are not going to give up on the premiership that easily. Remember, this is the four-time Rugby Coalition premiers we're talking about. But they will not have a chance to add a fifth to their trophy case after losing against fellow Pridnestrovian side Kesselburger Packers in a close-fought contest. There were moments where it looked like Oshkosh could definitely have won it but, uncharacteristically enough, they were unable or chose not to take advantage, things that the Packers would make them regret later, especially when Ulrich Lars Foerster scored what would turn out to be the winning try of the game, Over in Copper Cuprum, things were even more heated and action-packed, There were a few concerns or even fears that the game could escalate into an all-out brawl, but thankfully the worst that happened in the game were seven sin bins. This was a game that went down the wire, and would have definitely gone into extra time had not Obed Katuku scored the game-winning drop kick. Now this has set the stage for an exciting Rugby Coalition Grand Final. Two first-time finalists are about to compete for the highest rugby union honor in the APOC Coalition. But who will lift the trophy over their heads, and who will hope that they will get another chance next season? The answer lies below.

2030 Rugby Coalition Grand Final
October 20, 2030 @ Soft Jazz Stadium, Bytuch Wyk, Abanhfleft

(A2) Kesselburger Packers 17–14 Wa Deg Carabiners (B2)

They've done it! They've finally done it! After nine seasons of waiting, the Kesselburger Packers have finally lifted up their first ever Rugby Coalition premiership! For the people of Kesselburg, it has been an unbearable nine years in which they've suffered all sorts of misfortunes and mishaps, but now they are all ready to forget all that because their moment of triumph is finally here. And it wouldn't have been possible without the winning drop kick from Oliver Abednego. Truly a momentous occasion for Kesselburg. For the Wa Deg Carabiners though, it's better luck next time, unfortunately. And as the old saying about rugby goes, will Wa Deg have another shot at the premiership next season or have they missed their window of opportunity right here and now? Nobody knows, not even Margaret. In the meanwhile, let us congratulate the Kesselburger Packers for their first ever Rugby Coalition premiership!

Congratulations to the Kesselburger Packers, your 2030 Rugby Coalition premiers!

[Abanhfleft]

Goodbye Rugby Coalition, hello Rugby Premiership. So said the San Seriffe Bad Hombres and the Haranguer Death Worms before the start of the 2029–30 season, when the Rugby Premiership Board voted 7-5 in favor of allowing the former Rugby Coalition teams into the Fleftic rugby union pyramid. Of course, not all of the Fleftic teams were accepted into the Premiership; that was simply unacceptable and the reason why the voting took so long. In the end, a compromise was reached in that the top two Fleftic clubs from the Coalition would be allowed entry into the Premiership while the next two clubs in the rankings would be entered into the Rugby Championship, Abanhfleft's second tier. The fifth and final club, the Haritzaga County Ibex, was entered into the semi-professional third tier, the Rugby Conference North, but as one of the promotion-eligible clubs they would be able to move up to the Championship if they won the Conference North title. The Fleftic Rugby Union even offered to give a slot to the Islana Lunigo-based Moaria Waves, but the Waves' front office politely declined the offer and opted to suspend operations instead.

With the addition of two teams into the Rugby Premiership and Championship comes the inevitable expansion. Both the Premiership and the Championship now have fourteen teams each, and the relegation and promotion places respectively have been increased to two. In addition to the two automatic promotion-relegation spots, the 12th-placed team in the Premiership will also contest a home-and-away tie with the 3rd-placed team in the Championship to determine if the Premiership club will remain or be replaced by the Championship team.

Now that two rugby heavyweights have been introduced into the Rugby Premiership, the situation just got more interesting. The Jokers and the Almohads may have been running the Premiership show for five years straight, but now with some new boys on the block, will they be able to continue their dominance? Or will the Bad Hombres and the Death Worms finally be able to proclaim themselves the premiers of the nation that gave birth to them? There is, as always, only one way to find out.

2029–30 Fleftic Rugby Premiership Regular Season Final Standings

   Rugby Premiership        Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   TB   LB   Pts  Ttl
 1 Haranguer Death Worms     26   19   0   7   519  321 +198    3    6    76   85  Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 2 San Seriffe Bad Hombres   26   18   0   8   492  351 +141    3    4    72   79  Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 3 Jokers                    26   17   1   8   430  310 +120    5    4    70   79  Qualified for playoffs
 4 Hercules Rugby            26   17   2   7   326  254  +72    2    4    72   78  Qualified for playoffs
 5 Almohads                  26   15   1  10   377  261 +116    3    7    62   72  Qualified for playoffs
 6 Olistan Oxen              26   14   1  11   295  256  +39    0    6    58   64  Qualified for playoffs
 7 Pilken Aces               26   13   2  11   374  339  +35    1    7    56   64
 8 Bull Sharks               26   13   1  12   356  413  −57    1    5    54   60
 9 Pirates                   26   10   1  15   380  390  −10    1    6    42   49
10 Admirals                  26    9   2  15   316  433 −117    1    7    40   48
11 Manilaonilao Hornets      26    9   0  17   345  410  −65    2    7    36   45
12 Upper Caisse Rugby        26    7   2  17   275  427 −152    0    9    32   41  Relegation playoff
13 Makélé-Mbappé             26    5   5  16   223  369 −146    0    7    30   37  Relegated to FRU Championship
14 Notoshk Red Wings         26    7   0  19   279  453 −174    0    7    28   35  Relegated to FRU Championship

At first glance, it appears as if the Death Worms and the Bad Hombres are indeed poised and ready to pose a challenge to the dominance of the Jokers and the Almohads over the Premiership. How else to explain the fact that both teams formerly of the Rugby Coalition have managed to take the top two places in the Premiership, leaving other contenders like Jokers and Almohads to fend for themselves with the next four places. Hercules, who achieved a famous knockout of Almohads last season, nabs fourth place while last year's runners-up Olistan Oxen sneak into the sixth and final spot of the playoffs.

Notoshk's stay in the top flight proved short-lived, going back down to the Championship after two seasons in the Premiership. Going down with them are the Makélé-Mbappé of Calfragilis, who managed to stay six years in the top flight despite the odds, but this season their luck has run out. And for the first time in Rugby Premiership history, Upper Caisse Rugby will play the first ever relegation playoff in the league. Who they will be up against will be revealed later, but first let us take a look at the Premiership playoffs.

---

Qualifying Finals

(3) Jokers 24–3 Olistan Oxen (6)
(4) Hercules Rugby 14–19 Almohads (5)

The Jokers and the Oxen meet each other once again in a replay of last season's Premiership final. However, instead of the close-run thing of last season, this time around the Jokers simply and utterly dominated the Oxen. Like, the Oxen literally had little if any chance of getting anything out of this game. Perhaps it was inevitable. The Jokers have a point to prove, seeing as the Rugby Coalition newcomers have taken the top two spots in the Premiership, and they are not going to give up their title that easily. It's pretty much the same thing over in Bendy Benny, where the Almohads eventually emerged triumphant over Hercules after 80 minutes of battle as revenge for the latter knocking out the former last season. Like the Jokers, the Almohads have a point to prove, and that is that they are not going to let the Death Worms and Bad Hombres walk over them easily. If anything, Jokers and Almohads are going to make it as bloody a fight as they can possibly and feasibly do.

Semifinals

(1) Haranguer Death Worms 17–24 Almohads (5)
(2) San Seriffe Bad Hombres 18–42 Jokers (3)

Fleftic rugby purists can breathe a sigh of relief, at least for the moment. The moment that they've been fearing has been averted, for the time being. And it seems as if there is now apparently a tradition of a hapless side getting pasted in the semifinals. It started in the very first season of the Rugby Premiership (after the rebranding) when Almohads pushed 48 points past a depleted Admirals side and has been going on ever since. This season, it appears that San Seriffe have become the unfortunate "victim" of this tradition as the Jokers dumped 42 points on the Bad Hombres while allowing only 18 past themselves. It was a closer thing between Almohads and Haranguer though, but it was the established Premiership side which found a way past the would-be pretender from the Coalition through, ironically enough, a former Death Worm in Tsvetan Bindev. Bindev took advantage of a scrum on the five to practically charge himself and the rock into the zone and the Almohads into the Premiership Grand Final. Sure, some might lament the fact that its Jokers and Almohads all over again and were actually looking forward to a Worms-Hombres final, but this is the hand that the Premiership has dealt us.

2030 Fleftic Rugby Premiership Grand Final
May 25, 2030 @ The Rugby Grounds, Releinthi

(3) Jokers 30–20 Almohads (5)

For the first time in the history of the Premiership, a team has successfully defended the title that they had won the previous season. The Jokers of Effelenendro have achieved the feat first, something that they are sure to rub in the faces of their Almohads-supporting rivals. Fleftic rugby's most famous rivalry just got spicier. It was also an exciting contest, one that will likely stand the test of time and be counted among the classics for both Grand Finals and rivalries played. Kareem Thabeeti was once again the hero for the Jokers, who not only kicked three conversions and penalties but also scored the try that would ultimately seal the game in favor of the side from Effelenendro. And with the situation between the FRU and the RUCT finally sorted out, the Jokers have finally punched their ticket into the international big time.

Congratulations to Jokers, your 2029-30 Fleftic Rugby Premiership champions!

   Rugby Championship       Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   TB   LB   Pts  Ttl
 1 Wappinger                 26   17   1   8   428  217 +211    3    6    70   79  Champions, Promoted to Premiership
 2 Bytuch Feld Dinosaurs     26   17   1   8   413  264 +149    2    5    70   77  Promoted to Premiership
 3 Porcusces Makos           26   15   5   6   190  119  +71    0    4    70   74  Relegation playoff
 4 Habalanbacushe Dashers    26   16   2   8   299  183 +116    2    3    68   73
 5 Wingfoots                 26   16   1   9   205  131  +74    0    6    66   72
 6 Dav Doves                 26   14   2  10   265  277  −12    1    3    60   64
 7 Vikrant                   26   14   1  11   309  296  +13    0    5    58   63
 9 Antslinngs Islanders      26   12   1  13   171  149  +22    0   10    50   60
 8 Jasvirabad Titans         26   13   0  13   191  200   −9    0    6    52   58
10 Piuui Blacksmiths         26   11   0  15   206  254  −48    1    5    44   50
11 Verdana Greens            26    9   2  15   175  285 −110    0    5    40   45
12 Southern Bay Boulevard    26    6   3  17    90  226 −136    0    9    30   39
13 Braganopolis Bustards     26    7   1  18   261  508 −247    0    5    30   35  Relegated to FRU Conference North
14 Lotharstadt Quicksilver   26    4   2  20   152  246  −94    1   11    20   32  Relegated to FRU Conference South

Haritzaga County Ibex from the FRU Conference North and Keklavik Snowcats from the FRU Conference South are promoted to the FRU Championship.

2030 FRU Premiership relegation playoff

Leg 1 @ Stade Arial, Port Elred, San Seriffe Province
Upper Caisse Rugby 0–8 Porcusces Makos

Leg 2 @ The Proving Ground, Porcusces, Ceneisis Province
Porcusces Makos 3–8 Upper Caisse Rugby

Porcusces Makos is promoted to the Fleftic Rugby Premiership 11–8 on aggregate

[Copper Cuprum]

2029 Copperite Rugby League Regular Season Final Standings

   CRL                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts
 1 Vay Deg Eels              30   22   1   7   391  252 +139    45     Minor premiers, Qualified for playoffs
 2 Red Deg Adders            30   22   0   8   330  190 +140    44     Qualified for playoffs
 3 Pad Deg Harriers          30   20   1   9   374  261 +113    41     Qualified for playoffs
 4 Al Deg Barracudas         30   19   0  11   271  164 +107    38     Qualified for playoffs
 5 Bed Deg Bantams           30   17   3  10   276  192  +84    37     Qualified for playoffs
 6 Eb Deg Bulldogs           30   17   2  11   270  179  +91    36     Qualified for playoffs
 7 Sub Deg Raiders           30   17   1  12   348  334  +14    35     Qualified for playoffs
 8 Uld Deg Stingrays         30   15   1  14   369  351  +18    31     Qualified for playoffs
 9 Jes Deg Wingmen           30   15   1  14   284  307  −23    31
10 Wa Deg Giants             30   12   1  17   174  255  −81    25
11 For Deg Eagles            30   11   2  17   187  248  −61    24
12 Nay Deg Dragons           30   11   1  18   343  385  −42    23
13 South Ons Deg Rabbitohs   30    9   3  18   342  450 −108    21
14 Ken Deg Broncos           30    9   1  20   269  371 −102    19
15 Wid Deg Sharks            30    8   0  22   270  344  −74    16
16 Nes Deg Stars             30    6   2  22   238  453 −215    14

For the first time in their long, long history, the Vay Deg Eels have won back-to-back minor premiership. One would think that with their long and successful history of winning premierships, they would have picked up the regular season title in consecutive years a long time ago. But despite this, Eels fans have dropped all pretense of being cautiously optimistic and are now looking for the moment when their season goes tits-up again. They've learned their lesson from last season. Once bitten, twice shy, as they say. And Eels fans have the reputation of knowing everything there is to know about disappointment. Another noteworthy story to come from the regular season is the Uld Deg Stingrays' last gasp qualification into the playoffs. The Stingrays are still on that mission to prove that their premiership-winning season was no fluke, and that they are ready to compete with the big boys. Last season was a bit of an embarrassment for them, but this season they're more than prepared for what the playoffs is about to bring them. Or at least that's the plan. But we all know what happens to these best-laid plans, right?

---

Elimination Finals

(5) Bed Deg Bantams 6–8 Uld Deg Stingrays (8)
(6) Eb Deg Bulldogs 4–1 Sub Deg Raiders (7)

If the Uld Deg Stingrays are truly dedicated to proving their haters wrong then this is the way to do it, even if it is at the expense of the Bed Deg Bantams. That's just the way of sport though. Sometimes there must be a winner and a loser, and in this particular instance, the Stingrays have been chosen as the winner. Having said that, the Stingrays were indeed the better team in this contest, and while the Bantams may have been able to edge as close as they did in the second half, it was in the first half where the Stingrays did the damage necessary to knock Bed Deg out of the premiership race and keep their own bid going even though being the eighth seed, things are very much against Uld Deg repeating their 2027 triumph. Meanwhile, it seems as if a new rivalry is brewing between the Eb Deg Bulldogs and Sub Deg Raiders. It seems as if there has never been a final eight series in recent history where the Bulldogs didn't play the Raiders or vice versa (not true; see season 2028). Those games are usually very exciting affairs, if a little bit tight, but definitely they are not wanting for drama. Except for this one game. Opponents of rugby league will point to this particular match as a reason not to watch rugby league, never mind the fact that in a soccer game this is actually an uncommonly high score. Both teams didn't seem like their hearts were in it; they both looked like they were just going through the motions of playing an elimination final. But someone had to win it, and it was the Bulldogs who chose to win, with an early second-half try from Fafata Mananu. The best that the Raiders could come up with was a drop goal from Toby-Blaise Wickerman. Not good enough for the defending premiers, who shall defend their title no more after this disappointing and, dare we say it, shameful display.

Qualifying Finals

(1) Vay Deg Eels 12–18 Al Deg Barracudas (4)
(2) Red Deg Adders 11–5 Pad Deg Harriers (3)

Same old, same old, groan the Eels fans as their team succumbed to defeat yet again, this time against the Al Deg Barracudas, the previous season's runners-up. And they were just beginning to hope a little bit as well too. Things were going well for the Eels. So well, in fact, that everyone had the feeling that something was going to happen that would mess up the whole thing, and that was indeed what happened. A certain Zidebe Bawotu broke past the Eels defense and scored the decisive try, and he also added in the conversion for good measure. It's back to the semifinals with Vay Deg, and while Eels fans are definitely hoping, if not praying, that there won't be any deja vu, remember that it's the Vay Deg Eels we're talking about here. Their fans always expect the worst even when hoping for the best. Meanwhile, the latest chapter in the Adders-Harriers rivalry has been written, and in it the Adders are the ones who have emerged victorious. It was a tight affair with chances few and far between, but after a couple of tries and drop kicks, it was Norbert Pescarelli who scored the game-winning try for the Adders after a nice juking run dating back from his days playing gridiron football. There is definitely a lot of wound-licking going on, but whether that will be enough preparation for the semifinals for the losing sides is an unknown matter at the moment.

Semifinals

(1) Vay Deg Eels 19–9 Uld Deg Stingrays (8)
(3) Pad Deg Harriers 3–12 Eb Deg Bulldogs (6)

Now, what kind of sorcery is this? The Vay Deg Eels emerging as the winners in a contest in which they were actually narrow favorites? How in the world is such a thing even possible? Eels fans are holding their heads in their hands right now. They don't know how to react to this. All that they have known for so long is failure that when success finally comes their way, they don't even know how to handle it. For their part, the Uld Deg Stingrays did a good accounting of themselves, but strangely enough that wasn't enough for them to overcome this surprisingly resilient Eels side. That being said, a lot of things also happened in favor of Vay Deg, including the sin binning of Dustin Olbedoza in the final ten minutes that allowed the Eels to score the decisive tries. And in other news, the Eb Deg Bulldogs are through to another preliminary final, but it isn't like nobody saw that coming, right? Well, probably Harriers fans didn't.

Preliminary Finals

(4) Al Deg Barracudas 16–18 Eb Deg Bulldogs (6)
(2) Red Deg Adders 4–24 Vay Deg Eels (1)

But seriously now, what is going on with the Eels? Who are they and what have they done to the real Eels team? It's so obvious that this Eels side is very different from the one which failed to get past the semifinals even if practically the entire core of the team is still there. Just how exactly does one go from being perennial losers to sudden favorites for the premiership? Eels fans are going absolutely crazy. They don't know how to cope with this sudden display of rugby competence. How in the world are they going to deal with suddenly not being the laughingstock of the country now? The fans don't want to dare to dream, but given the current situation, some of that pessimism is being eroded away and turned into fleeting glimpses of optimism. As expected. Eels fans know, and painfully so, never to go overboard with their hopes when everything is on the line. Also, the Eb Deg Bulldogs are back in the Grand Final, so at least the whole Copperite Rugby League isn't falling apart yet.

2029 Copperite Rugby League Grand Final
October 7, 2029 @ First Copperite Bank Stadium, Wa Deg

(6) Eb Deg Bulldogs 12–13 Vay Deg Eels (1)

They've done it. They have finally done it. The Vay Deg Eels have finally won a premiership. They did it the hard way, going through the semifinals and even going up against the team who have done particularly well in CRL Grand Finals, but on this day the Eels have finally managed to emerge triumphant. It wasn't easy though; Eb Deg matched Vay Deg move for move, and once again this Grand Final looked like it was going to go into extra time but for Oleksiy Karamazov's literal last-second drop goal to give the Eels the slimmest of leads in least amount of time possible. This will be another night that Eels fans are sure to remember and to tell their grandchildren, but for this one there will be no bitterness, just relief that their club had finally won a premiership again.

Congratulations to the Vay Deg Eels, your 2029 Copperite Rugby League premiers!

[APOC Coalition]

   ACRL                  Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts
 1 Traktor                33   22   1  10   445  388  +57    45  Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 2 Buccaneers             33   21   0  12   334  285  +49    42  Qualified for playoffs, Bye to semifinals
 3 Raptors                33   18   3  12   451  377  +74    39  Qualified for playoffs
 4 Hellbats               33   16   6  11   268  233  +35    38  Qualified for playoffs
 5 Piranhacondas          33   18   1  14   363  350  +13    37  Qualified for playoffs
 6 Storm                  33   17   1  15   321  250  +71    35  Qualified for playoffs
 7 Mountain Men           33   16   2  15   354  345   +9    34
 8 Dead Horses            33   12   4  17   362  426  −64    28
 9 Boxers                 33   12   3  18   348  391  −43    27
10 Headhunters            33   11   2  20   356  426  −70    24
11 Boars                  33   10   4  19   347  458 −111    24
12 Falcons                33   10   3  20   328  348  −20    23

In a very strange turn of events, last year's wooden spoon winners RLC Traktor Bender have turned things around and made themselves the minor premiers of the current season. Who would have seen that coming? Definitely not Traktor fans even despite their reputation for eternal optimism in the face of insurmountable odds. They always said that one of these days they were going to win the Coalition Rugby League one day, and as of the moment they are one step closer to actually achieving that. At least it's not the Piranhacondas winning the minor premiership again. Heck, they've been pushed right down to fifth place. Of course, this just means that they have a slimmer chance of winning the premiership, but for Piranhacondas haters, it's still a chance, and you'll be damned sure they'll take it.

---

Qualifying Finals

(3) Raptors 2–16 Storm (6)
(4) Hellbats 0–12 Piranhacondas (5)

They may have ended up in the bottom half of the playoff qualifiers but both the Storm and the Piranhacondas have triumphed over their respective opponents seemingly without breaking a sweat. The Raptors and the Hellbats are definitely no pushovers when it comes to league play, but we all know how the Storm and the Piranhacondas turn into completely different animals once the playoffs commence. At least the Raptors have the consolation of having scored against the Storm. The Hellbats have had no such luck against the reigning premiers.

Semifinals

(1) Traktor 12–20 Storm (6)
(2) Buccaneers 9–10 Piranhacondas (a.e.t.) (5)

Traktor fans' joy at clinching the minor premiership proved to be short-lived as they squared up against the Storm and inevitably lost. The Storm are practically veterans when it comes to the playoffs while Traktor mere babes in the woods. But the side from Althaus gave a good accounting of themselves, scoring two tries against the normally impenetrable Storm defense. Unfortunately for Traktor, the Storm scored three more tries than they did, and while the Althausers were unlucky not to score any conversions at all (certainly a strange event but not really that unheard of when you think about it) this only proved that they were good enough to have a shot at the title and possibly dethroning the Piranhacondas from their lofty perch.

Speaking of the Piranhacondas, they have managed to return to the biggest stage in Coalition rugby league, but only by the skin of their teeth. The scores ended at 6 apiece after 80 minutes, but after nine and a half out of the ten minutes of overtime had been played, both teams had only scored one field goal each. At this point in time Bilal Taha and the Buccaneers were thinking that Taha's field goal was enough to see them past the defending premiers, but then Lee Jin-pil committed a late hit on Basute Kutebo on the 20-meter line right in front of the uprights, giving the 'Condas a chance to win that they would have to be very stupid to not take. Indeed it was Kutebo himself who took the penalty and slotted it between the posts perfectly, securing a third consecutive Grand Final appearance for the Piranhacondas. Coincidentally, this Grand Final is also a repeat of the 2027 Grand Final, when the Piranhacondas won their first premiership against the Storm. 'Condas fans are hoping that history will repeat itself while Storm fans will want their team to buck the trend and become only the third team in the history of the Coalition Rugby League to win a premiership. Which team will destiny favor this time?

2029 Coalition Rugby League Grand Final
October 14, 2029 @ Dinamo Stadium, Bender, Pridnestrovia

(6) Storm 8–2 Piranhacondas (5)

The Storm have finally emerged triumphant over the Piranhacondas, and a third team is added into the annals of the Coalition Rugby League's winners. The Storm took advantage of their "home" advantage (the Grand Final was played in Pridnestrovia, after all) and scored two tries courtesy of Friedrich Sabel and Konstantin Oguzheyev, while the Piranhacondas' only score came from a 50th minute penalty conceded by Uzento Gotore for an above-the-shoulders tackle on Oguzheyev. For the people who read patterns into things, this is a sure sign that the Storm will win in 2030 and lose the premiership in 2031. But for Storm fans, they just want to bask in the moment when their team finally became premiers of the Coalition Rugby League.

Congratulations to the Storm, your 2029 Coalition Rugby League premiers!