I read some of the paragraphs, but the BBC makes that boring. I just thought the headline was hilarious as fuck. However, it does bring up some interesting theories about this:
1. Shrimp are evolving at a rate we previously didn't know. The fact that they were found to have drugs on them means they may be getting smarter than shit, possibly having already the process to make cocaine and possibly the Anti-Life Equation. We should enslave them and learn more about them.
2. It's Suffolk. While cocaine isn't such a problem, more harder drugs such as ketamine and Irish potatoes make for a possible conclusion that when Doug the Dealer wakes up after coming down from Smarties, he goes to find his bag of cocaine and asks, "Dude, where's my crack?"
3. It's actually a guy named Shrimp, a drug dealer who is literally made out of thousands of shrimp. When the bobbys come walking by he throws himself in a nearby river, breaking apart and being able to put himself back together again. His favorite sauce is actually Worcestershire.
What do you think is going on NSG?