The Western Isles News

[Menna Shuli]

VYBERIAN EMBARGO WILL NOT SHAKE RESOLVE

SHUHAKALLU - Sâtêp representatives have responded to the announced Vyberian trade embargo with Mênna Shuli, stating that the economic fallout will be "problematic but not disastrous" and that the actions taken by the Vyberian state "will not shake the moral resolve of the Mênna in the protection of their interests in regards to San Javier."

"The Vyberian embargo will not prevent us from pursuing the means of ensuring that our state is safe from rebels and the interference of foreign powers," stated the release from the government. "We have the moral high ground, and the moral imperative to stay the course. The actions taken by the Vyberian state shows only their complete misunderstanding of the state of affairs and their desire to subsume and undermine the will and sovereignty of the Mênna."

The release also harshly criticized the Vyberian state for "making threats that they could not back up with action." This referred to the implication of forthcoming military action by the Vyberians.

"The Vyberian government clearly realized that such an attack on the Mênna would not only be legally and morally corrupt, but that any such action would be doomed to failure and swift repurcussions. The government of Vyberia should recognize that the Mênna will never bend to fearmongering and will not give in to terroristic threats, and should know better than to pursue such base politicking on the world stage."

There was no word as to a specific response that would be pursued against Vyberia, but it was clear that these actions would not slow military action in San Javier. Defense of the western oilfields has been increased, military experts have stated, but no official word has been made.

- Kiavêvit Kipatiksêv Xita, MÊK Politics Correspondent
21/03/19

Forum Discussion (316) | Related Stories | Twitter Discussion (210) | More...

[Nhoor]

Menasyólíya pw restoran erhame loq tótsòliq gil Menasyólíya pw ínvesyinille nho Sanchabyeron
Mênnan restaurants targeted in reaction to Mênnan invasion of San Javier

Sárruc, 17ch li marsili · 1203 | 19 March 2019 – Police has intervened and arrested several persons caught damaging Mênnan restaurants in cities throughout Nhoor in the last couple of days. Protests had been going on and Mênnan restaurants and shops had already been experiencing a sudden decrease of customers since Mênna Shuli impopularly invaded the island nations of San Javier earlier this month, but as the government’s comments on the situation so far have been meagre to say the least, protesters have taken things into their own hands.

“It is of course against the law to damage other people’s property”, a spokeswoman of the CurGo (Curswch pw Gojerana, the national police department of Nhoor) explained, “so it is our job to arrest them whatever their motives.” The police are investigating the possibility that the attacks on Mênnan establishments have been organised by louche groups on social media.

The government issued a statement shortly after the invasion in which it urged both parties in the conflict to refrain themselves and explore other ways to solve their differences, while adding that for the time being, the government of Nhoor considers the conflict to be a bilateral matter between San Janvier and Mênna Shuli. The government’s lack of action was however criticised by some members of parliament and prominent Nhoor. “This is a time of crisis and the only thing our government does is showing weakness!”, actress Huldoro Satsyteqh said during the popular early-evening talk show Wtoch pw Nuldir li Cosyili, a statement that was promptly shared on various social media.

Foreign Minister Orumha Cany-Jwchmiqen explained however that it is too early and rather presumptuous for Nhoor to intervene in a conflict on the other side of Raedlon and Argus. “We have urged both parties to look for a peaceful solution; that is really all for now”, the minister said. “We could have threatened with boycotts and economic sanctions straight away, but that is an easy way out and not a constructive one as far as this government is concerned. There are more likely nations closer to Mênna Shuli and San Javier that are perfectly capable of helping these countries get back on a track towards peace. If it turns out that they need our assistance, we will be happy to give it.”

The Argus kitchen, especially the one from Mênna Shuli, has always been popular in Nhoor. Culinary trend watchers therefore claim that this is a temporary set-back and that the number of customers will reach its normal amount again as soon as this conflict has been forgotten.

---

1202 rh. serta pw ólwrusytire déqhe li garacili sòn narisast pw zòrhesin
2017 saw strong increase in missing persons cases

Sárruc, 19ch li marsili · 1203 | 21 March 2019 – In 2017 a significantly higher number of cases involving persons reported missing hasn’t been solved, a police report mentioned today. Usually more than 90% of missing persons are found or show up within 48 hours after they were reported missing, with the whereabouts of a further 5% being established within several weeks or three months max. On average, this leaves around 15 to 30 persons who either show up again after a longer period of time or are never heard from again. According to the report however, 2017 saw no less than 92 case files that haven’t been closed yet.

“This is indeed a lot, but it’s too early to tell whether this is just an exception or the start of a new trend, or to pinpoint a reason or a cause for the higher number of 2017 disappearances”, a spokesperson of CurGo (Curswch pw Gojerana, the national police department of Nhoor) explained. “The 2017 cases may just take a little bit longer to be solved. There are no significant differences in the way the police have been treating these cases or the circumstances in which people went missing in 2017: most of them went out for a walk and never came back or went on holiday and never arrived at their destination. Our country having lots of activity at sea also generates several ‘missing at sea’ cases; in such cases it is unlikely that we will find any new leads. There are a couple of cases in which there are indications of criminal involvement, especially if the disappearance is more sudden; surely you remember the media coverage from July 2017 about the couple who stopped at a petrol station, the wife went to the restroom but when she came back the car was still there but without her husband. Such sinister cases are of course exceptions.”

Several members of parliament confessed being ‘alarmed’ by the report and have asked for an explanation by the Minister of Domestic Affairs, Tyanhod Tsyòjely, who is responsible for the police. “Essentially, we need to establish whether or not Nhoor has become less safe in recent years and whether or not the police are up for their task”, one member explained. “It is preposterous to consider that anyone could go missing without leaving a trace; I would have thought that this is impossible in this digital era where there are cameras everywhere and where everybody pays by card.” The debate on The Floor (Nhoor’s parliament) will probably be scheduled in a week or two.

[New Totzka]

Kidnapper arrested in Parazina International

Isaura Chaves, one of the perpetrators of the kidnapping of Iskandar Zainattudin, was arrested at Parazina International trying to book a flight to Ashluv, Thuzbekistan. Chaves was carrying over 3 billion Escuritas (29.6m USD) in cash in her luggage.
Zainattudin was kidnapped at a public speaking event at São Tiago University in February by a group of ten students. The kidnapper’s original demands included 6.4 Billion ES$, the resignation of President Améro and the nationalisation of all Rambutan Electronics Totzkan capital. After thirty hours, the Survurnian CEO was released when the Totzkan Federal Government paid the kidnappers 4 billion ES$.

Isaura Chaves, 21, was born and raised at an Academia da Vida in Greethão, Parazina and was studying Politics and Languages at São Tiago University. Since enrolling at UdST Chaves co-founded a student society called União Ilhan Nação, [Ilhan Nation Union]. The society’s charter describes themselves as being “dedicated to the promotion of the Ilhan nation” and according to their website the society has 120 members across various universities in the South Totzka region. The society has since been abolished following the kidnapping of Zainattudin and pledge by the security forces to crackdown on radical student activity. Chaves had received a caution from State Security Forces for involvement in a violent incident as a Constitutionalist rally last year. Her fellow students have described Chaves as being a “loner”, “anti-social” and “definitely not associated with me, officer.”

According to the Security Services report following the kidnapping, Chaves was assisted eight to ten other individuals, including Doctor Jayant Celestino Coelho, a lecturer at São Tiago University but until today not arrests have been made. A ESI report released two weeks stated that all the kidnappers are believed to have gone underground and would be attempting to leave the country.
Chaves was identified in Parazina International attempting to buy tickets for a flight to Ashluv, Thuzbekistan. When airport security personnel approached her, she attempted to flee but was eventually caught and arrested in the airport parking lot. She was carrying over 3 billion Escuritas, thought to be Zainattudin’s ransom money, in her luggage. The fact that Chaves was trying to travel to Thuzbekistan has raised eyebrows as the socialist state has a reputation for illegal intervention in other nations. Last year they were accused in absentia of sponsoring the PLF, an Orsandian communist rebel group, in the League of the Western Isles. As one of the kidnapper’s original demands was the release of all captive members of the People’s Liberation Front, pressure will be on the Totzkan security services to investigate links between Thuzbekistan and Chaves.

[Dothrakia]

3/24/19
Brisbane News Network (BNN)
Dothrakia

Balnik Fighters Probe Dothraki Airspace!

In what appears to be a Balnik response to Dothraki support of Thuzbekistan in the ongoing San Javier conflict, 2 Balnik VUS-79 fighter jets were intercepted off of the northern coast of Dothrakia near Bear Island. The two fighters were intercepted by 2 F-55’s of the 180th Interceptor Squadron.
The two fighters eventually turned away just before reaching Dothraki airspace and were escorted away from Dothrakia. The air force has refused to comment any more on the situation.

[Wellsia]

EALDWIC DAILY NEWS

It has befallen the government to let the Federation of Vyberia, our northern neighbor, that the Southern Shipping Canal lies within the Wellsian Colony of Vesperia and that any attempt by any nation to interfere with commerce passing through the canal will be be met as required. While the Empire sees the Federation as a friend and ally, their threat to blockade the canal is something that will not be allowed or tolerated.
At the moment the Imperial Navy finds itself stretched thin, with the responsibilities to the Republic of Kachee and the on going conflict in the north between Menna Shuli and San Javier. Elemnts of both the Home Fleet and the Bay Fleet have been reassigned to ensure the safety of out territorial waters. With a number of hostile nations moving in and about the area, the Navy must be extremely diligent. Assisting the Menna will be naval forces belonging to the Republic of Miklania and the United Republics of Dormill and Stiura arrayed against the fleets of Thuzbekistan and Dothraki. The Imperial Navy will not engage against any of the forces involved in the conflict unless they violate Wellsian territorial waters or attack each other in Wellsian waters. Wellsia will maintain the Laws of Neutrality and will assist any ship of any belligerent that request fuel or repairs, so long as they agree to leave Wellsian waters within 48 hours.
All nations should know that the Second Carrier Squadron of the Western Fleet has been ordered to through the canal into the Bay and join with the North Bay Command to protect not only the Canal but also to keep open the sea lanes to and from it.

On a more positive tone, our friends the newly formed Republic of Kachee, by the assistance of the Empire is developing a thriving economy and is reorganizing her government in a peacful manner, now that the Sultan has been removed from office. The Third Patrol Flotilla has been seconded from Home Fleet to the Kachee government to not only protect the island's coast, but to also ensure that Kachee controlled oil platforms are free from interference.

[Blakenham]

March 25th 2019 | The Blakenham Telegraph | Feswick

BREAKING:
Council announces increased naval presence in the Lotus Sea

---

This afternoon, an urgent meeting of the Council of State on the state of the military crisis in San Javier concluded with the announcement of an increased naval presence of the Blakenham Naval Defence Forces in the Lotus sea.

Foreign Minister, Michael Swinson, has expressed the Council's complete disagreement with the military action of Menna Shuli in San Javier, and has urged MS to urgently withdraw its forces from San Javier and to commence "actions for a peaceful agreement" as a priority within the League.

In his statement, he also confirmed that Blakenham naval presence in the Lotus sea would be increased:

"The Council has considered the ways in which it deems best appropriate to respond to the crisis and will be monitoring the situation closely. While I cannot comment on specific details in the interest of national security, at this time: we will be increasing our naval presence in the Lotus sea in order to ensure the legality of Mennan military action."

In addition, the Minister confirmed that the Council has instructed the Blakenham Aid Agency to make "immediate preparations" for the deployment of aid resources and personnel in San Javier; while not ruling out direct sanctions against the Mennan state.

The government appears to be cautious about raising tensions on Gael in order to avoid capitulating its G4 application; refusing to comment on any involvement of Dormill and Stiura

It is expected that the Council will inform the international community of its next steps in response to the crisis at the League this week.

[Cauralia]

The Bounce
Cauralia's Best Magazine

---

Police thwart terrorist attack attempt, Chelsea City leave it to the last minute and Cauralia set for hottest spring on record

---

At a glance:
- Police arrest three people on suspicion of planning a "major terrorist attack"
- More armed police in Chelsea, Donnington and Pembroke
- Chelsea City win Cauralian SuperLeague on goal difference
- Weather experts predict Cauralia is set for hottest spring ever
- People celebrate Chelsea City SuperLeague win in the morning heat

This morning police confirmed they had arrested three people on suspicion of planning a 'major terrorist attack'. The names of the individuals in question were not revealed but they are all aged between twenty-two and thirty-one.

Police say they raided two properties in Donnington which contained illegally modified firearms, explosive material and in one property - a list of targets. The targets included a mall in Donnington as well as the Old Caesar, Donnington's major cricket stadium, although police say any public place was probably considered.

They are expected to be charged with conspiracy to commit a terrorist act, a charge that if guilty, carries a thirty year minimum prison sentence.

Following this the Chelsea, Donnington and Pembroke City police have all deployed additional armed officers on their streets.

In other news, Chelsea City secured the football SuperLeague after Charlie Harris scored a goal on the 89th minute of the final match of the season, putting Chelsea City on equal points with their title rival Northern Fire, but edging them out on goal difference by a single goal. Harris' incredible 89th minute goal not only secured Chelsea City another win, but the title.

Chelsea City manager Richard Reed congratulated Harris' goal citing it as one of the best in the league's history, and said that he and the team will be "drinking alot of champagne".

Finally, Cauralia is set to have a record breaking spring season.

Experts predict next week will consist of temperatures exceeding 27*C. People are advised to keep sufficient drink and sunscreen on their person to protect them from this unusual heat spike.

[Almorea]

NEWSWIRE

---

Congress cancels planned recess as fiscal year ticks down

ELLSBURGH (APA)- Congress has extended its spring session, which began on January 4, into April, cancelling a recess that was planned to commence at the end of March as the legislature grapples with discord over foreign policy and the impending end of the fiscal year, when executive departments are expected to flood the Budget Committee with requests for funding.

In a letter delivered to Deputy President Michael Jardine this morning, Senate presiding officer Jon Fitzlane (F-Frasyrland) and the presiding officer of the Chamber of Representatives, Torquil Chatto (F-Warenne Island), gave formal notice of their decision to cancel the recess.

"It is incumbent upon us to fulfill our constitutional duty by informing you, as Head of the Congress, of our decision to extend the current session of the Congress to April 19, 2019," the letter said, citing "urgent foreign and budgetary issues requiring the attention of the people's representatives" as justification.

When the new fiscal year begins on April 1, the bicameral Budget Committee will have to deal with appropriations requests by departments to draw money from the Federal Capital Revolving Fund, which contains $1.19 billion in public money. Expected "asks" include $600 million by the War Department to finance the repaving and widening of Almorea's network of missile-transport roadways, as well as $221 million to pay for the demolition and reconstruction of warehouses holding federal vaccine stockpiles.

Another concern of the Federalist Congress has been the ongoing international crisis centered around San Javier. Since the Senate's passage of a resolution on March 6 supporting Mênna Shuli's invasion of the island nation, the Hallowell administration has stumbled in its response to the situation, with various officials voicing support for both Doraltic and Thuzbek actions in the conflict; in a foreign policy embarrassment, the navies of these nations clashed just days after Doraltic President Cedar Dyson's visit to Ellsburgh on March 12.

The extension of the session allows Federalists to call administration officials to testify before Congress in what is planned to be a public humiliation of the administration over foreign policy, according to sources. Sen. Fitzlane tonight formally summoned Secretary of State Kirk Thurson to appear before the Senate on April 3, while the Almorean ambassador to the League, Barnabas Reid, is expected to be called to the Palace of Congress sometime before the expiry of the extended session on April 19.

Thirty-six arrested after riot over welfare, armed standoff

KINGSTABLE (APA)- 36 people were arrested on Tuesday after spontaneous protests erupted near an unemployment queue in Kingstable, Queensland province, causing widespread traffic disruptions and ending in a standoff with police that saw some protesters brandish pistols and rifles.

Late in the morning, disruptions broke out outside the unemployment office on Uxhall Street after the counter was closed early for the day. Recipients of assistance who did not receive money threw rocks and projectiles at the office windows, smashing them. A smaller group blocked the street, stopping traffic and provoking angry reactions from motorists, some of whom entered into physical confrontations with the protesters. The majority of the original crowd dispersed several minutes after the initial outbreak of violence.

As the logjam on Uxhall Street continued, backing up traffic throughout Kingstable, police were deployed to break up the milling crowds of protesters and motorists. As a helicopter circled overhead, officers in riot gear fired a single canister of tear gas and pushed protesters aside with shields and batons.

As the street emptied of people ahead of the drifting cloud of gas, a small group of protesters, armed with pistols and semiautomatic rifles under Queensland's concealed-carry laws, forcibly entered an apartment building and barricaded themselves on the first floor, beginning an armed confrontation that lasted for twenty-five minutes.

Police were eventually able to negotiate a peaceful exit from the building. All of the armed men, along with the other protesters and a handful of motorists, were arrested.

Queensland Governor Jeff Moore (F) said in a statement tonight that the Queensland Assembly, the provincial legislature, will consider amendments to concealed-carry laws in order to prevent "reckless and disruptive outbreaks of civil disorder, like the kind endured by the law-abiding residents of Kingstable this afternoon."

ALMOREAN PRESS ASSOCIATION- ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©MMXIX

[Athara Magarat]

March 28th, 2019

Despite lack of developers, Athara Magarat still a gaming superpower in 2019

---

Poster for Greatest Empires "Sails of the East" dlc

NEW LIBANG

While in 2018 the turnover decreased a bit to $2.66 billion, the Athara Magarati Federation of Hangates still remained one of the biggest game developers in the Isles with the gaming revenue being the worlds highest in relation to population.

The year 2018 also saw an increase in the number of gaming companies with a revenue of more than $11.25 million and employee number of more than 50 people. 20% of game developers in Magarat companies are now from other countries; mostly San Montagna and Alteran Republics.

There is chronic and constant shortage of developers in Athara Magarat and gaming companies have to resort to international recruitment agencies and headhunters to find suitable employees. Gaming companies in Athara Magarat have named the problem of finding senior employees as their number one challenge in a survey conducted by the industry associations.

Last year, Sunshine Games and Chitrakar Studios jointly published a working document on optimizing the Athara Magarati immigration process for highly specialized work force. In this document, the two Magarati gaming giants suggested a lean methodology for simplifying the immigration process of highly skilled developers and removing the bureaucratic processes to decrease the time from start of the process to having the immigrant expert working in the Magarati company to one month. They also suggested accepting the average 5.5 or 6.0 scores in MAgarat's Nyssic Doman And other Languages Assessment (MANDALA) and investment of $112.55 million for getting the top international talents to move to Athara Magarat. As with most other independent reports regarding the difficulty of immigration into Athara Magarat; Sunshine Games and Chitrakar Studios also blamed the bad reputation of the Magarati government in international media and extreme lack of governmental efforts in promoting the country as an ideal work-place destination.

Athara Magarat's gaming industry grew stronger altogether in 2017 and 2018 with around 15 new companies being formed and approximately 150 new games being released.

[Athara Magarat]

March 28th, 2019

Three arrested in Bokhim for murder in reignited clan feud

---

In 2003, clan leader Diwan Yorong had handed over his family's "illegal weapons" to government officials

BOKHIM, HANGATE OF KHUMBUWAN

Three men from the Lokshom clan of the Khumbu tribe have been arrested for murder as historical clan feuds between the Lokshoms and the Yorong family got reignited.

The men, aged between 24 and 38, were arrested on Wednesday at the town of Bokhim in Hangate of Khumbuwan; and are being detained by the Khumbu police at the town police station.

It is understood the arrests are connected to the reignited Lokshom-Yorong feud and that the three Lokshom men had murdered former Yorong clan leader Diwan Yorong at a pub by slitting his throat with a kukri after having beaten him up in a drunken brawl.

Last week, a member of the Yorong family was jailed for breaking into the Khumbuwan Offices of the Revenue Commissioners and assaulting a Lokshom man who tried to prevent him from leaving. Neon Yorong, who is the nephew of the deceased Diwan Yorong, has 73 previous convictions including assault, robbery, burglary, threats to kill, endangerment, obstruction, and road traffic offences.

Diwan Hangma of Khumbuwan says that the Lokshom-Yorong feud dates back to "medieval times" and that the two families are rivals in illicit drug trade with several members of the two families currently serving time in prison for various offences. She said that Neon Yorong was supposed to marry a Lokshom woman in January as a way of mending ties but he instead "made inappropriate finger gestures" at the Lokshom clan head during the annual inter-clan meeting of the Khumu tribe. She further stated that "no one is going to go away with murder".

Wedo Yorong, the current clan leader, says that he has already received support from his allies in the Ma and the Kangwa clans. He further asked, via TWItter and Surat, for other clans to pick a side. "Either you are with us or against us consorting with murderers."

"The reality is that clan ties are still strong in Athara Magarat and in a nation with over 2000 clans, clan-based fights take place often. They actually happen all the time. But unlike with the Lokshoms and the Yorongs, they don't involve murder." Diwan Hangma said. "This is going to be inter-generational."

After the murder of Diwan Yorong in Wednesday, armed checkpoints across the town have been set up by the Khumbu police and the Armed Police Force of Athara Magarat in an effort to foil feud-related revenge killings. Diwan Hangma says that the situation is unlikely to pacify soon and that if things go out of hand and other clams start taking sides; even the army might be needed to be called into Bokhim and surrounding areas.

[Dragao do Mar]

March 30th | Meireles, AL

Pedro Vieira in his last concert, March 23rd

Famous singer Pedro Vieira murdered at 34

Yesterday was a sad day for fans of heavy metal and music lovers in Dragão do Mar. Pedro Vieira, the frontman of Stranhament, a Marian death metal band, was murdered by poisoning moments before the beggining of a concert of the band in the city of Meireles, the singer's hometown, in the Aldeota province.

In this Friday, March 29th, a audience of 28,000 thousand persons was present in the Alcova stadium to see the concerts of Owse, the opening band, and Stranhament, that was in the middle of a tour in Dragão do Mar to present their new album "The Last With Tabajara Blood", released in the end of 2018, with great influences from the folk metal genre. According to the persons present in the stadium, after the end of the opening band's concert, the audience waited for 50 minutes before receiving the notice that Paulo Vieira was found unconscious in the bathroom of the Stranhament's dressing room, as the other members noticed that he was too silent. He was immediately taken in a ambulance to the São Camilo hospital, that is 800m away from the stadium. The most part of the fans continued inside the stadium, and after some moments, the band communicated that Vieira died at 11:53 p.m., a few minutes before arriving in the São Camilo hospital.

Pedro Antônio Vieira was a Marian singer and musician who gained fame as lead singer and guitarrist of the band Obliterados, which existed between 2004 and 2012, and in 2013 he was invited to be the new singer of Stranhament after the original lead vocalist left the group to start the solo project Vakhagar. He was also famous for his political activism and, according to himself, he was anti-imperialist and anti-fascist, ideals implicit in many of his compositions for Obliterados.

Today, the Federal Police revealed that Vieira's autopse showed high levels of arsenic, suggesting that he died from a intentional poisoning. According to the investigators, the vegan food ordered by the singer was contamitated with the poisonous element. No one was appointed as the guilty, but there are four main suspects. In the beggining of the year, the band announced concert tours through Raedlon, North Argus and Gael, but after his death, the other members of Stranhament cancelled any of the band's next concerts, assuring reimbursement for anyone who have bought tickets for its concerts.

[Athara Magarat]

Actually Brought to You By

March 31st, 2019

Visit Kachee

---

Ah...Kachee...

NEW LIBANG

Visit Kachee, Magarat's "Favorite Ex-Boyfriend". No, that title actually goes to San Montagna, you bleeps. And how dare you, Magarat and Kachee are related by blood!

Kachee, home to golden beaches, friendly people and most important of all - bleep tons of oil and gas. Which is why not just the bleeped-up Magarati government, but almost every nation that knows where Kachee is located on map (those silly Svalbardians still searching where Kachee is on the Wake Islands), has stabbed those friendly Kachee people in the bleeping back. Like the most recent case where we promised Kachee to the French Republic of Charbagnia, the lap dogs of our Doraltic friends. You know, in the name of peace and preventing war and all while it is actually about getting ching-chings and other shady deals we do not know of.

Or remember how we let Magarati journalists investigating war crimes during the Noronnican-led Allied Invasion of Charbagnia (where we as so-called pacifists participated under the lousy pretext of our grand ally Noronica calling us to glory) to just die and cover the bleep up? Hey, it was all worth it. Here we are now, with our ambassadors enjoying tea and other drinks with their Doraltic counterparts. Our not-so great country already has plenty of energy on its own and we are pro-nuclear energy (just not mention the shady deals with them Osters to anyone). So we just decided to hand all that bleep ton of oil and gas in Kachee to the highest bidder while also keeping our own political interests in check. You know, the usual Magarati standards of just preaching everyone but giving zero bleeps in reality.

Sadly for us and our Doraltic friends, who have owned us since the First Central Argus War; the Wellsians and the Negarakitans (or Survurnians) got wind of the information on the bleep ton of oil and gas in Kachee. They were quite mad that we did not inform about the lucrative bleep-fest much earlier.

Kachee is the youngest and one of the poorest nation in the Isles. And we helped in the past. Now it is the turn of the Wellsians and the Survurnians to help them. Nah, just kidding. They have been stabbing Kachee in the back like we did. The Wellsians have even supported a five-council that overthrew the Magarati man in the former sultan; in an operation that was totally not carried out with Wellsian support. Now that our bleeped-up deals were exposed, which allowed the Wellsians to enjoy bleeping up Kachee currently, our Dorlatic friends have since then decided to move on to bleeping up San Javier with their buddies in Menna Shuli and the other nations who have decided to join the Javieran bleep-fest.

Visit Kachee, to experience the ruins of colonial era Khas-Kirati and Noronnican bleep-ups and modern-day bleep-ups by Magarati and Wellsian governments with other nations ignoring the sideshow for the bigger bleep-fest in San Javier.

[Ainslie]

Your Weather: Arnton - 24C/15C

DOMESTIC: Wesland Governor raises alarm around bushfire risk
Keversen, Ainslie

As summer quickly approaches following a dry winter for parts of Wesland, concerns relating to the upcoming bushfire season have been growing. After an annual conference with emergency management experts and the electorate's emergency services, Hailes has echoed the general concerns that have been recognised amongst the community.

Whilst the northern and eastern portions of Wesland have had only slightly below average rain so far this year, southwestern Wesland is in the midst of a drought only growing in intensity. Predictions from Federal Government Meterologists, released publically after Hailes' conference today, have sparked the beginning of measures that will effectively expand the length at which the Electoral Government of Wesland recognises a high risk of bushfires.

Governor Hailes ordered fire departments to begin hazard reduction burns, which is beginning a fortnight earlier than normal. As a result, the first hazard reduction burns will happen in a week's time around Ashtown in the electorate's southwest. Soon after that, hazard reduction burns will happen near Hauton, Kianara and Highland Ridge.

The Commissioner of Wesland Rural Fire Services, Lauren Sennel, held a press conference shortly after Hailes' brief talk with the media after the conference.

"With drought conditions in southwestern Ainslie, one of the only areas in Wesland currently experiencing water restrictions, vegetation is very dry and westerly winds will play a significant factor in creating conditions which are highly conducive to bushfires. As a result, under the order of our Governor, we will begin hazard reduction burns in multiple locations across the electorate in the coming days."

Hazard reduction burns burn off dry vegetation, which acts as fuel for bushfires, in order to create gaps where firefighters can better defend and to also offer an extent of protection for urban areas. Despite it being effective, there remains to be opposition to these burns ranging from its impacts on the natural environment to being often hazardous to asthmatics.

The Ashmatics Society of Ainslie (ASA) formally requested the government to prevent hazard reduction burns from happening near urban areas, stating that "it causes significant harm to quality of life not only for healthy people, but especially for those who experience a range of cardiac and respiratory conditions".

Despite these calls from medical professionals, the Government continues to do hazard reduction burns near urban areas. On that note, the Govermnent has put out pre-emptive air quality warnings for the areas around Ashtown where extensive hazard reduction burns will occur over the next three weeks.

SPORT: Firewasps and Seafarers to advance to Grand Final
Rathane, Ainslie

After a fortnight break, the semi final qualifiers face off against one another. On Saturday night, the Seafarers just scraped by the Wildfires, winning by two wickets and with four balls to spare. It appears that this break has been somewhat disadvantageous to the wildfires, with a marked lack in batting power in what will be their last game for the year. Sunderland top scored with 41, with Daintree scoring 32. The Seafarers' bowlers were able to take wickets relatively quickly before they were too set. All batsmen got into the double digits, but failed to stay around and convert it into a significant score. Similar scenes in the Seafarers' innings, with an increased strike rate from the middle order just saving them from a nail biter finish. Norman's and McLean's 32 and 31 set a foundation but it was not until when Gillson came it at 6 that another significant total was made, with Steward, Wardle and Ruse all being dismissed for relatively small totals. McKellar was the pick of the Wildfires' bowlers, taking three wickets. Seafarers advance to the grand final

Sunday night brought the Blaxland Explorers and the Firewasps against one another, with Blaxland choosing to bat first. Perry and Stratton both scored reasonable totals with several batsmen afterwards only making it into the teens. Barlen's stabilising innings brought the Explorers away from a collapse, setting 138. Nistoi got three wickets and a catch as his dream run continues. However, 138 was never really going to be enough to contain the Firewasps, with Ahmad Shah and Marcus Nistoi posting 23 and 39, both well over 100 in strike rate. They department relatively quickly, with middle order batsmen Edmunson being the next to contribute significantly to the batting total with his 32 off 28. Moffare's four wickets simply weren't enough to prevent the Firewasps obtaining a strong win, chasing down the total with six balls to spare.

This leaves the big hitting Mandara Firewasps to face off against the Rathane Seafarers, who would have been considered to be a left of field pick for the finals. Tune into Arendai Sport 6:30pm on Sunday to catch the two teams in the grand final. Tickets are still available for the game at the DCG, but are in high demand so will go quickly. Arendai has been advised that this will be the last release of tickets to watch the height of the Ahnslen domestic cricket circuit.

National Weather

City (Max / Min)
Anertah (23C / 12C)
Arborai (19C / 13C)
Arnton (24C / 14C)
Hauton (22C / 17C)
Highland Ridge (18C / 10C)
Kennedai (25C / 18C)
Mandara (26C / 18C)
Menindai (26C / 19C)
Port Blaxland (23C / 18C)
Rathane (24C / 15C)
Quirindi (27C / 17C)
Watarah (23C / 16C)

[Enchanta]

ENCHANTA'S RAPID DOWNWARD SPIRAL
So many things have happened in these past few days. On March 30th at 9:00 am, two F-16 fighter jets flew over Hopeworth dropping tear gas grenades onto the city. As the grenades fell, white smoke covered the area and people frantically tried to escape. Now, tear gas is an irratant and not supposed to kill, but the amount of gas caused hundreds of people to die from aspyhixation. The military came almost immediately after the attack and found 2 males in one jet and Analita Romanov, the supposed leader of the Modernists in the other. All three had brandings of a flaming M somewhere on thier upper body. All three terrorists were placed into military custody, but we do not have any more information on that.


We also have good and bad news. The good news is that Rachel is finally conscious! The bad news is that she is not pleased with the Modernists. This is what she said regarding the crisis.
“These ‘Modernists’ are disrespecting our glorius nation and it is wrong. As soon as I am released from this hospital, I shall declare war on these people!” This is worrying. The closest thing we have ever gotten to war is the Power Battle of the 70s and that was just a rebellion. If war is declared who knows what could happen.

Speaking of which, Rachel also made a written speech that was broadcasted at 12:00 pm today.

“I call upon our allies, our neighbors in this time of need. I call upon all Equilists to stand with Enchanta. I call upon all to cleanse the nation of these people. For the good of Enchanta!” The crowd erupted into cheers after the speech was over. We do not know our future, but we know that Enchanta is strong.

[Almorea]

OOC: screwed something up when I was posting my april 23 news

[Athara Magarat]

Actually Brought to You By

April 3rd, 2019

Visit Sawneeak Atoll

---

Fun for everyone!

DURA ISLAND

Visit Sawneeak Atoll, home to the least known military occupation by multiple nations. Hordes of tourists visit the Sawneeak Atoll every year but few experience the real deal.

After a Saffir–Simpson Category-5 hurricane in 419 CE destroyed much of the island's population, many nations sent their vultures to migrate here and further destroy the already declining native population. Proto-Torangese Ipachi settlers led by Cheif Kekeielok from modern-day Samudera were the first to take advantage of this situation. Then in 10th Century during the Khas-Kirati Eastern War, repeat offender Khas-Kirat Empire came to know of the Atoll but decided that they wanted huge landmasses in Samudera or Linaviar, not a mangled mess of small islands. In 1283, Queen Soumwelih decided to that Islam was the best religion for Dulung.

In 1728, repeat offenders of the Khas-Kirat Empire came back again. The Tamuwani frigate Dura Falls was headed from Turvin Gadhi (modern-day Turvin, Thuzbekistan) to back home in Second Tamuwan Hangate. They continued the proud Khas-Kirati tradition of assimilating the natives and this even gave rise to the Dura tribe, who were later on even granted the status of a Gun and a Hangate. In 1772, the Nyssic Colonial Empire, another repeat offender, started colonizing the bleep out of the Atoll. Not to be outdone by their Magarati or Noronnican rivals, the Stiuraian government told her people to colonize what are now Nouvellecoursud and Nouvelle-Aquitaine. Since two islands was not enough, the Stiuraians captured Dulung as well a century later just for bleeps and giggles. By this time, San Montagna and Norstham were late for colonizing other parts of the Isles so they just decided to grab whatever they could find in the Atoll. The San Montagnans became super interested after coming know of phosphate while the Norsans decided that it was a very good idea to send their criminals to this nowhere in the middle of the sea.

When Survurnia (or Negarakita) became independent, the Sawneeakers decided they should become independent too. Sadly for them, the Suvurnians came in guns blazing and grabbed Dulung as a semi-autonomous region; you know, doubling their nation's size instantly the best way. Come 2005, the cash-rich Vancouvians bought one of the islands. Come 2008, the Vancouvians were, like the Stiuarains before them, not content with just one island and claim the entire Atoll and surrounding sea despite having no legal documents to back their claims. But hey, it is the Vancouvians we are speaking of.

Unlike in other places, the occupiers (except for Suvurnians, San Montagnans and Norsans) never withdrew their troops from the Atoll. Instead, they have been building stacks of permanent military bases. In fact, Pelican Island owned by the Vancouvians solely exist to house a military installation. Military bases or not, all of those involved have annexed these territories without any treaty with, you know, the native Sawneeakers or getting the thing recognized by the League. The Magaratis have even upped their game by writing Dura Island and Tandran as one of their constituent hangates in their constitution. You know, the same Magaratis who claim they are there just to study the wildlife and build giant telescopes despite having military presence in the Atoll.

Sure, native Sawneeakers still protest and demand for a united Sawneeaker Republic. Sure, Roendavarians get triggered about environment every time someone brings up the Atoll. But you know, zero bleeps were given as usual. And what can we say, the Roendavarians are a bunch of pagan hippies always high on drugs and getting lost in forests. Other nations have always learned great lessons from this hippie nation and cut their forests down so that their children do not get lost into untamed forests unlike Roendavarian kids.

Today, each of those occupied territories offer a unique flavor for you tourists to come and enjoy. But it is mostly tourists and military occupations working together in driving the native Sawneeakers into poverty and reducing their numbers. Or the rich Magarati businessmen who are continuing their proud ancestral hobby of pushing the natives off their lands. The same Magarati businessmen whose companies have diverted the flow of rivers to their sugar farms and deprived native Sawneeakers of access to water. The same Magarati companies who are occupying native lands to run scientific experiments on genetically modified crops.

We hear that the Wellsians, who totally do not own Kachee nowadays, are planning to be involved in this Sawneeak business as well. We also hear that the pagan Roendavarian hippies are actually protesting so that others can leave the Atoll and they can claim it all later on. Well, whatever. We have a saying in Magarat that says "if I am silent and you are silent, everyone will be silent". That saying could not apply any better elsewhere than in Sawneeak Atoll. So visit Sawneeak Atoll, the one country sliced and shared between seven different nations like a big old family pizza.

[Athara Magarat]

Actually Brought to You By

April 5th, 2019

Visit Mount Chuli

---

Looks like a child's game to climb that thing!

NEW LIBANG

Visit Mount Chuli which lies in the Chuli Mountain Range. The same Chuli Mountain Range that is home to bleep-load of Magarati icons. 6K plus mountains, Chuli leopards aka White Tigresses, Kirati yaks, the Ophiocordyceps magaratis fungus and of course iconic for being the place where communism (actually state capitalism and corporatism mixed together) in Magarat started.

The natural wonders of Chuli Mountain Range are so great that rich foreign idiots flock from all around the Isles since Magarati tourism is the best way to spend $40,000 to $60,000 and above the quickest way. Specifically captivating for these bleeps is the namesake Mount Chuli, tallest mountain in the Magarat region. Even though it is bleep-ton dangerous to climb it, these rich foreign bleeps still think money can do anything. They hire local Chuli people and the poor Kirati yaks to carry all of their luggage. You did think that the Chuli porters and guides earn their money directly, right? No, no, no! The rich bleeps hand over most of their money to those shady agencies run by other rich foreigners, who hand most of their money to the government of Chuli Hangate, from where most of the money is then again transferred to New Libang. In fact, those poor Chuli porters and guides risk their lives to earn while we just enjoy triple the bleeping sum of money for free in New Libang.

As you might be aware by now, the amount of rich foreign idiots who think they can climb Mount Chuli in their first climbing attempt ever has made this mountain one of the highest altitude cemeteries in the Isles. If these rich bleeps want to die, who are we to stop them? We get money whether they reach the summit or not. Sadly, these bleeps do not die alone. They drag those poor Chuli guides and other experienced mountaineers with them when they die. Which is why we have introduced a new policy where only "experienced climbers" will be allowed to step on Mount Chuli.

Now, some of those pesky foreigners are already complaining. The TWItter is buzz with these bleeps saying we are acting like we own the mountain. Actually, we do! As per the Constitution of Athara Magarat (1995), we are the legal owners of every property inside Magarat. Don't forget we are socialists, you bleeps.

Now the bigger question. Will this new mountaineering law actually prevent those rich foreign bleeps from dying in Mount Chuli or any other of our dangerous 6K plus mountains? Actually no. There is no way to know whether they are experienced climbers or not. It is not like we will tell to climb one of our shortest mountains first, you silly. In fact, this is a scam to squeeze even more money out of these rich foreign idiots. They will be eager to forge documents saying they climbed some fictional mountains and we shall gladly provide those services for some amount of extra ching-ching.

So, to sum up our new policy: rich foreign idiots pay even more to climb our mountains, the salary of Chuli guides and porters remains same as ever, experienced climbers die trying to save those rich bleeps who have zero skills and we the Magarati government and our mates in those shady mountaineering agencies run by foreign businessmen reap all the profit. So, visit Mount Chuli and rest of the Chuli Mountain Range where you will die penniless with the true socialist experience.

[Lumingrad]

---

Friday 5th of April 2019

20 Lum

Friday Edition

---

Surveillance Drones?
All you need to know about the latest in safety assurances. pg.14

Suspicious Neighbours
A nuisance, or an opportunity for patriotism? pg.24

Crisis leadership
Unterthal Observer's pullout guide on how to lead staff during a crisis. pg.17

---

The News in Brief

House Prices Rise
Housing prices are
skyrocketing in urban
areas following a
recent update to
parental licensing laws,
requiring prospective
parents to have one surplus
bedroom to requirements.
Development for new
apartment blocks and
housing estates is expected
to be announced by the
Supreme Chancellery. pg.4

Durmbridge Action urged
Violent crime in Durmbridge
is increasing in what many
experts consider is a sign of
a lack of appropriate social
programmes. The crimes
which are mostly youth
orientated have come
about after a recent
change to afterschool
curriculum in the area. pg.6

Instauration Expansion
Instauration Security Solutions
has announced plans to expand
into the Greater Walfeld area
citing a need for a larger
workforce and increased
demand on product
development. pg.10

Dahmer Tour
Lian Dahmer has announced
plans to tour Lumingrad,
meeting with local officials
and underbureaucrats in a
political awareness campaign.
Dahmer hopes to reach out to
the youth and inspire political
aspirations and careers. pg.16

Wave of Anti-Surveillance Graffiti
Political malcontents rally support
Sickening defacing of university property

Anti-Surveillance Malcontents Deface University Cameras

The School of Bio-Sciences at Elsburg University has seen a recent spate of graffiti adorning campus walls and security cameras. In what officials are calling a disturbing and grotesque affront to the grace and generosity of the Supreme Chancellery; a series of profane gestures and articulations have been seen tagging cameras and camera observed areas. The perpetrator, Kennith Williams, 19, was taken into custody early Thurdsay morning, according to the discrete black notice found in his dormitory room. His criminal wave of property destruction and dangerous political discontent began in March and has seen a total of 70,000 Lum of property damage, maintenance fees, and repairs; as well as an estimated potential 370,000 Lum of psychological expenses to staff and students traumatised by his crimes.

More worrying however; Mr Williams appears to have rallied a small following of similarly bitter students to his illegal and anti-state cause. The Department of Legal-Affairs and Intelligence released a statement last night detailing from interview with Mr. Williams that three other students are likely to carry on his extremism in his absence. District Overbureaucrat Samantha Times offered reassurances saying: "While our community is rearing from the last month's disturbing affront to our peaceful productive happiness, our friends in the Serene Police are ever vigilant, and are investigating this despicable assault on our fair city. It is heartfelt that I offer my thanks to our brave protectors for the arrest of Kennith Williams, and my hope that his clearly disturbed contemporaries turn themselves in for mandated therapy."

Sub-Chancellor Lucy Green has issued a written statement on the crimes, indicating that these actions are not merely an attack on Elsburg University, but on Lumingrad as a whole, and is encouraging anyone affected by this traumatic incident to seek mental health support to ensure a happy productive state of being. The Department of legal-Affairs and Intelligence offers its assurances that Mr. Williams' trial will be a successful one, and that he is expected to receive a minimal sentence with heavy community engagement and closely monitored therapy sessions. Unterthal Observer has not been permitted to approach Mr.Williams for a comment at this point.

The road of recovery begins now for the students and staff of Elsbridge University, with the events of the past month having caused panic and distress in many witnesses. Particularly affected was Dr. Harold Price, Dean for the institute of Science and Technology, who offered in interview his feelings on the detestable crimes: "University is a place of learning and growth, our students are here to explore and develop new and challenging ideas, but to go to such extremist lengths as Mr. Williams is a disturbing affront on education. We are not here to push political agendas, we are here to help develop better political and scientific understanding.

I recall when I first saw one of his offensive depictions of Sub-Chancellor Green, perverse and clearly indicating a poor disturbed mind. I was so shocked at the visceral imagery that I had to take the afternoon off to recover. I encouraged my faculty to secure the courtyard that had been (Continued pg.18)

---

[New Totzka]

Tensions grow as Yhai independence referendum draws near.

A Yhaivan Pro-Unionist rally in Tsuhk Mina has clashed violently with separatist protesters, resulting in three dead and several more wounded. This is the fourth major incident of political violence in Yhaiva this year. With only ten days to go until Yhaiva votes on whether or not it will seek independence from the Totzkan Union, the prospect of living under in a Yhai majority nation has sparked tensions within the Yhaiva’s minority populations, such as the large Ilhan and Pamil communities living in the south of the region. Pro-Unionist groups like the Segunda Cláusula Movement who were responsible for last night’s rally have claimed that Yhaivan minorities would be a risk of losing property and being forced off land by an independent, nationalist Yhaivan state. Other more radical groups, like the so-called Army of 1901, have called upon the Federal Government to send soldiers into south Yhaiva to re-annex the area after a potential pro-independence vote.

Yhaiva has long maintained a traditional of nationalism and separatism which has never fully supported our nation’s central founding ideology of Totzkan Unionism and there has long been a sense of cultural disconnect between the nomadic peoples of the Yhai steppe and the more modern, settled folks of the other states. Yhaiva was last Totzkan nation to join the Union and was only added, via the second amendment, in 1982 after President Amitabh Sanjiv was intervened in and resolved the ongoing Yhai inter-tribal conflict bringing peace to Yhaiva in what was the first operation every conducted by the Totzkan Military. Some commenters have suggested that if Yhaiva gains independence it will once again dissolve into Inter-Tribal warfare. Since then every president of the Totzkan Union has had to contend with the issue of Yhai nationalism, from the 1990 Yhai Spring during the premiership of Suraj Chirapati to the 2005 Tsuhk Mina Riots which precipitated the military takeover which installed President Korrapati.

Yhai nationalism returned to the forefront of Totzkan politics last November when the Front For The Yhai Nation (FPANY), the largest Yhaivan nationalist party, swept to victory in the three Yhai states. In order to retain a working coalition of support within the Comissão Popular, President Améro and the Partido da Aliança sought an alliance with FPANY in return for promising Yhaiva a referendum on its independence. Initially set for New Year’s Day the referendum was delayed as a result of the New Year Central Canal Crisis and is now set to stake place on the 21st of April, 10 days from now. FPANY spokesperson Ado’Illusan Vilo stated in a conference four weeks ago that if they receive a positive vote from the referendum, they will aim for Yhaiva to be fully independent from the Totzkan Union by 2021.

While FPANY maintains a united external front, the party is fracturing internally with two clear factions emerging. One faction, led by Vilo, want an independent Yhaiva to take advantage of the steppe’s vast bitumen wealth. The other, led by Ado’Salash Leo, want the Yhai to return to their pastoralist nomadic roots.

FPANY are opposed by anti-independence pro-Unionist groups like the Segunda Cláusula Movement, named after the second amendment which brought Yhaiva into the Totzkan Union. In December the Movement organised a petition which was signed by over 32,000 citizens living in Yhaiva. The petition read: ““The constitution mandates that the Federal Government must protect the life, identity and culture of all Totzkans. To uphold this the government must allow the 89,000 non-Yhai citizens currently living in Yhaiva to remain citizens of the Totzkan Union if Yhaiva seeks independence”. Adi Bianco Neheres, the writer of the petition, claims that areas in the south of the Yhai state of Terra de Salash, which has a large Ilhan and Pamil presence, should remain within the Union. This anti-secession movement, who call themselves ‘the Segunda Cláusula Movement’, have over 50,000 members (according to Neheres) and argue that in the event of Yhai independence there will be no protection for the minorities living in Yhaiva. A common concern among the movement’s members is that a new Yhai national government will attempt to force minorities out of Yhaiva. These Ilhan and Pamil communities settled in Terra de Salash in the 1980s to work extracting petroleum from Yhaiva’s oil sands which drive Totzka’s powerful petrochemical industry. Petrochemical plants in Pamilya and South Totzka will certainly close down following Yhai independence and millions of jobs will be lost. For people like Adi Bianco Neheres, leader of a Pamil Magkawan Ethno-Union based in Tsukh Mina, the threat not only exists towards his livelihood but also toward his home. He told Verdade that many in the Pamil and Ilhan communities fear they may be forced out of Yhaiva post-independence and that he believed violence was likely to break out between the Pamil, Ilhan and Yhai communities. Mr Neheres stated that “he wished to see the government in Parazina protect his people” and that the voices of ethnic minorities were being suppressed in the Yhai governments.

With only ten days until the referendum which will decide the future of the Totzkan Union, tensions only look set to worsen with Yhaiva.

[Veltora]

The Veltori Times

Early yesterday morning a man named André Edlund, aged 37, Atria Tower, Free City of Stúđavík, was discovered hanging from the 2nd floor above the lobby, from what appeared to be a noose made of barbed wire, with a pool of blood on the lobby floor below.

Atria Tower at once called the Stúđavík Police, which pronounced André dead at the scene, with there also being stab wounds on his chest, stomach, and abdomen.

André was 37 years of age, about 6ft. 3in. in height, complexion and hair dark, wore a dark red shirt, black jacket, and a jeans. He was staying at Atria Tower on vacation with his wife and two kids for the summer. There was 10 ounces of cocaine found in André’s room, but this has been determined to be unrelated.

The body has been moved to Stúđavík City Hospital, and detectives of the Criminal Investigation Department are currently making enquiries.

There was an unidentified star-like symbol crudely carved into André’s chest, that is assumed to resemble the North Star.

Currently there are three possible suspects, but no arrests.

---

The Navy is in an uproar today as the RVS Interceptor, a Victory Class Destroyer, suffered catastrophic damage to the port side hull after an accidental detonation of a Type 4 Torpedo during a training exercise in the Misty Gulf. The exercise involved two other destroyers, four Tolga Frigates, and eight Stryker Fast Attack ships. There are 23 confirmed deaths, and over 50 injures. The Navy has not responded to a request for a comment.

---

The Ministry of Transport and Communications has just announced that the planned Transcontinental High-speed Railroad from Rosvik in the south, to Kópasker in the north. The train would reach a max speed of 260+ km/h, and is expected be completed by 2021. This marks an exceptional day in Veltoric history, and we are overjoyed at all the hard work all of the engineers and construction crews have put into this.

14/04/2019

[Athara Magarat]

Actually Brought to You By

April 16th, 2019

10 Magarati Companies For You

---

Did the Bible really say that? Glad we ain't a Christian nation!

NEW LIBANG

Greetings from the Magarati government, who by now you probably know is actually not run by Jrm Hangma at all (despite those silly foreigners portraying her as some sort of an authoritarian Muslim iron lady...lol). Magarati citizens and foreigners alike still have no idea about who exactly holds true power in the Federation of Hangates. Some say it is the local hangs who are using Jrm Hangma merely as their spokeswoman. Others say it is her party, the People's Civic Congress, that is pulling the strings. Yet others will point the fingers at the so-called influential leaders of the so-called influential clans. Now, cross all of these lines and you will get one result: the Magarati companies. And today, we are here to talk about 10 of the 80 Magarati companies. We shall give you highly accurate information about the rest in the coming days.

1. Nagesia-Dhari Limited

First off, who better to begin with than Nagesia-Dhari Limited? They are an Isles-wide company that provides fiber-based products and solutions such as decor paper, filters, release liners, abrasive backings, non-woven fabrics, electro-technical paper, glass fiber materials, food packaging and labeling, tape, medical fiber materials and solutions for medical diagnostics. More than 90 percent of Nagesia-Dhari's products are made from renewable fibers. Sounds good...they cannot be that bad, right? We mean, lying about the quality of your products is not bad at all. Every company does that. Why should Nagesia-Dhari be any exception? And if someone discovers your bleep-bleep, just bribe them or continue denying stuff. Hey, it has worked for Nagesia-Dhari Limited since 1862, bitches.

2. Samudera Bank

Company number 2 is Samudera Bank (no not that Samudera; "Samudera" as in "oceanic" you bleeps). Hearing this name, you might wonder...was not the Imperial War era Samudera Company of Magarati origin as well. Bingo! This bank was established by the same bleeps who were creating weapons used by the Imperial Magarati Army to kill your great-granddads. And the bank also still hoards gold and other valuables stolen from your deceased great-granddads. Surprised that you didn't know this? Well, you never asked, you dummy.

3. Bihani Media Corporation

Sadly, we cannot say anything honest about Bihani Media Corporation since they kind of lord over the Magarati publishing industry. But we can confirm that they are the organizers of the New Khas-Kirati Invasions led by Tam-pop boy-bands and Gurung films.

4. Power Beer

Oh, Power Beer! Where to start? Three days of orgy in some foreign nation to celebrate the New Year? Check. Having sex with underage sex workers in said orgy? Check. Said employees involved in orgy get arrested en mass in foreign country? Check. The Magarati government exchanged its asylum seekers for these Power Beer men and women boldly come back home? Check. Poisoned beverages controversy? Check. Owned by the poisonous Magarati government? Check. Products like Magarati Vodka are not for sale in Magarat itself? Check. This last one might be actually the least scandalous stuff related to this alcohol producing company.

5. Athawa Sports

Did you know that the boot you are wearing was made by sports industry giant Athawa Sports? You didn't? Because that is how shady they are and even investigative journalists and the Magarati government has no idea what Athawa's deal is. All we know is that they used to cell cigarettes during the Imperial War...just cigarettes is highly doubtful but hey, there's no proof. Like we said, no one really knows what Athawa's deal is.

6. Bank of Shakti Khor

Another Magarti bank established during the Imperial War period. Is it any surprise that they still hoard gold and other valuables stolen from victims of atrocities committed by the Imperial Magarati Army? If you have been reading this article thoroughly, I bet it is not a surprise anymore.

7. CASware

404 Not Found

8. Jirium

Welcome to Jirium Corporation - connecting everything though war! They have been helping war hawks across the Isles in every possible way. You probably know them for their really durable and strong Jirium Tough Mobile but they are also producers of Jirium Tactical Wireless IP Network and Jirium Tough VoIP that are used only on battlefields. No war, no business for Jirium. It is as simple as that.

9. Jhangad Cargo

And we skip over to Jhangad Cargo, where they never make a mistake even if by mistake. You get filed defamation charges that you are bound to lose if your cargo ends up in someone else's a$$. And those allegations that Jhangad Cargo does human trafficking as well in the name of cargo shipping is totally unrealistic. Well, there's a good Magarati saying that "if I am silent and you are silent, then everyone is silent". The demand is high in Magarat and everyone is willing to turn a blind eye to Jhangad's cargo.

10. Karma Limited

At least but not the last, we have Karma Limited. They have the monopoly over pay-per-view television in the Magarat region and now, they are eagerly looking forward to make monopoly out of your local television networks as well. You do know that they are they ones who crashed an entire nation's Internet by spamming links to "unwanted and immoral Magarati websites" as ads for something else.

[Tauskland]

TBP source: PM intends to resign

By: Martijn van Dalen

The Prime Minister intends to resign, a source has told The Bergenland Post.

The news comes following a mass leak of documents totalling an amount of 219,000; implicating the Prime Minister and other political officials and celebrities in the crime of tax evasion and fraud.

Tauskland's top procecutor said on Monday "an investigation has been mounted and is ongoing".

Many cite the documents as clear evidence of the crimes of which some of Tauskland's most famous people have partaken in, but the Procureur-generaal (Attorney General) has said that the documents could be an elaborate hoax.

Whilst further news from the Attorney General hasn't been heard, news from a source close to the PM has.

The source reports that the Prime Minister, Edwin van der Lang, could resign by the end of the week following the reputation damaging leak.

He was brutally questioned by opposition leader Marcus de Ligt yesterday at the weekly session of Prime Minister's Questions.

The Prime Minister dismissed all claims he had partaken in the crimes.

As this story breaks updates are soon to follow, check back for additional changes to the information here.

[Athara Magarat]

April 19th, 2019

Calculator test ban to remain in Magarati schools

---

In Athara Magarat, the use of calculators in exams is banned till Grade 10

NEW LIBANG

Maths experts from top Magarati universities stated that the ban on use of calculators during exams for students till Grade 10 still remains "a backward step" in Magarati education system. Despite widespread appeal to allow Grade 8 and Grade 10 students to make use of calculators in upcoming District Level Examinations (DLE) and Secondary Education Examination (SEE) respectively, the Ministry of Education and junior education ministers from the 18 hangates refused to change the prevalent law.

"The limit on the use of calculators is to make sure that children learned maths skills for themselves rather than relying on the help of a calculator." Sheesh Ghotane, the junior education minister of Second Tamuwan Hangate said. "There is a strong link between ability at maths and job opportunities in adult life. Parents and teachers alike agree with our stand. The ban on calculators from Grades 1 to 10 shall remain."

Ravindra Katuwal, professor of education at Sinja University, said the use of calculators could enhance children's mathematical capability. "As well as making calculation more efficient and reliable, calculators allow people to tackle mathematical problems in new ways. Making intelligent use of tools such as these underpins a great deal of the mathematics that is done in our contemporary world. It is a pity that current policy is backward in this respect."

But the Ministry of Education has rejected the argument; saying that most Magarati students perform high in maths due to the prevalent ban and that "calculators should not be used as a replacement for basic understanding and skills".

"All children should be confident with addition, subtraction, times tables and division before they pick up a calculator," Mr Ghotane says. "It is vital that children have a solid grounding in the basics so they can grow up to be comfortable with the maths they need in their adult lives. Banning calculators in school tests will help end the culture of reaching for a calculator at the first sign of a tricky sum. Some of the world's top education systems already do this and there is no reason why children in the Athara Magarati Federation of Hangates can't compete with the best. Ensuring children leave primary school with a strong grasp of mathematics is a vital part of a long-term economic plan to safeguard our federation's future."

[Negarakita]

بشنو

This weekend, the rambutan company is set to announce a new policy. Health is believed to be a major focus, according to Esaan Yin of the think tank Kebangsaan (National). Originally, the policy was restricted to upper members of society. With the announcement comes A focus on "Loving Life". "Caring for Our workers is Not Neglectible", has been the tagline circulating in recent company E-mails. Charging ahead in the Technology market Thanks to new phones, rambutan Has Exceeded DOubts abouT Stability. THE abduction of its GEneral Manager by communists Weakened Internal leadership and Taught the Heads of the Industry Not To place much stress on rigid structure. "HEar the song of the reed", said ceo hasballah after Learning that rambutan had OuTdone profit estimated. United aS they now are, The comany Has Earned the respect of World mARket researchers. Often Frightened by THE recessions, Big EArning companies have trusted the STatS. THEy Must now Accept that capitalism has risen. HDI estimated of capitalist countries RISE So quickly.

Nick Tanah.

[Nhoor]

Ógil pw valwsire nho hwrhphodiren nho córwnon ezece anh 1cha li méyili
Next government composition change to become effective on the 1st of May

Sárruc, 18ch li aprílili · 1203 | 20 April 2019 – A large government composition change has been announced, following the intention of five ministers to retire from office. It will be the first reshuffle since 16 October 2016, when two ministers left the government. The executive branch of Nhoor politics is mostly self-regulating, although parliament can issue a binding advise to replace ministers if they feel that they (or their policies) are not in the best interests of the country.

The change had been rumoured for several weeks now, but no official statements were issued until today. The most notable part of the announcement was that First Minister Sanhad Bórya will remain in office as First Minister; experts had thought it ‘very likely’ that after seven years he would at least swap portfolios with another minister or perhaps leave the government entirely. In the last two years there has been a general feeling of unease about Bórya’s leadership that were increasingly marked by clumsy public appearances in which he seemed unconcentrated and ill informed about the subjects that were being discussed, but despite the fact that there have been rumours that he even lost the trust of a part of the other ministers, his position wasn’t discussed today.

The five ministers leaving, mostly because of their age, are Balamhí Setòrheqh-Dasytedy (member of the government as minister of agriculture since 2004), Naty Jwn-Pòssyatsiqh (member of the government since 2004, as minister of regional and local governments since 2015), Gertyo Jyetsaniqh (member of the government since 2002, as minister of health since 2016), Qhardo Mác (member of the government since 2004, as minister of justice since 2016), and Menhin Tarcws (member of the government since 2005, as minister of science and development since 2016). The portfolios of agriculture, justice, and regional and local governments will be taken over by the ministers of energy, social affairs, and communication respectively, who in turn will be replaced by new ministers. The other two portfolios will likewise be taken over by new ministers. In addition, the ministers of domestic affairs and defense Tyanhod Tsyòjely and Rhanhòd Demher will swap portfolios.

Of the five new ministers, four are women and four can be considered young (the new minister for communication, media, and digital affairs Conhan Barjwzaqh is ‘only’ 37), contributing to a much needed (according to some) rejuvenation of the government. Although the new ministers each have their plans with their portfolios, the most drastic will probably be the overhaul of the social security system that is intended by the new ministers of health and social affairs, Aruqo Tyeqhíseqh-Pary and Sanhí Rhuchws-Gazwn.

The new ministers will be sworn in by His Relevancy Óphòd Carómhíqh (the chairman of parliament and ‘acting king of Nhoor’) on Tuesday 30 April; the changes will become effective on the 1st of May.