TET: All Under Heaven

[Hurdergaryp]

Thin mints and samoas are the work of man, not those of some kind of absurd sky wizard who is as preposterous as he (of course it's a "he", because dozens of centuries of debilitating patriarchy will do that to you) is fickle as fuck.

A species of murder monkeys who consider bud light to be an achievement, can not possibly be responsible for the delight that is thin mints.


* note: I stole "murder monkeys" from another poster here. Its glorious and it is how i shall in the future refer to humans.

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

[Karu Nadu]

They look warm and inviting.

Inviting, but not so warm.

[Farnhamia]

A species of murder monkeys who consider bud light to be an achievement, can not possibly be responsible for the delight that is thin mints.


* note: I stole "murder monkeys" from another poster here. Its glorious and it is how i shall in the future refer to humans.

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

Neither do many Americans. America is not insignificant.

[Karu Nadu]

A species of murder monkeys who consider bud light to be an achievement, can not possibly be responsible for the delight that is thin mints.


* note: I stole "murder monkeys" from another poster here. Its glorious and it is how i shall in the future refer to humans.

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

Hurdlygurdlygurdlygoop.

[The Blaatschapen]

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

Hurdlygurdlygurdlygoop.

Yes, his name is hilarious

[Heloin]

They look warm and inviting.

You can best believe that, he's a macho man
Likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

[Hurdergaryp]

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

Neither do many Americans. America is not insignificant.

Tell me something I do not know. The collateral damage caused by US American geopolitical shortsightedness is downright catastrophic. Without the active support for internationalist jihadism by the Reagan administration there probably wouldn't have been a 9/11, for example.

[Esternial]

America is not insignificant.

Sounds a lot like what North Korea would say.

[Western Vale Confederacy]

You can best believe that, he's a macho man
Likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Isn’t your Legend of Zelda-esque weakness Matt Damon or somethin’?

[The Blaatschapen]

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

Neither do many Americans. America is not insignificant.

America is yuge

[Hurdergaryp]

Hurdlygurdlygurdlygoop.

Yes, his name is hilarious

Do not make the mistake of thinking that the hilarious are perfectly harmless, though. History tells a tragically different story.

[Heloin]

You can best believe that, he's a macho man
Likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Isn’t your Legend of Zelda-esque weakness Matt Damon or somethin’?

Matt Damon is my perfect man. Dwayne Johnson is everyone's perfect man.

[Karu Nadu]

Yes, his name is hilarious

Do not make the mistake of thinking that the hilarious are perfectly harmless, though. History tells a tragically different story.

Hurdlygurdlysmurfgoopygaypglapgoop.

[Ethel mermania]

A species of murder monkeys who consider bud light to be an achievement, can not possibly be responsible for the delight that is thin mints.


* note: I stole "murder monkeys" from another poster here. Its glorious and it is how i shall in the future refer to humans.

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

As a European you should be well aware that the makers of bud light are a Belgium corporation. So that achievement is yours.

[Western Vale Confederacy]

Isn’t your Legend of Zelda-esque weakness Matt Damon or somethin’?

Matt Damon is my perfect man. Dwayne Johnson is everyone's perfect man.

Ectomorph best morph.

[Ethel mermania]

Neither do many Americans. America is not insignificant.

America is yuge

WE WILL BUILD A WALL, and name it george.

[Hurdergaryp]

As an European, I do not consider Bud Light to be an achievement at all. America is not the world.

As a European you should be well aware that the makers of bud light are a Belgium corporation. So that achievement is yours.

Says the same guy who found a perverse delight in proclaiming that Belgium does not even exist several dozen times.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

In other news, my Hamlet essay is utter nonsense wrapped in a veil of various sophistries and strongly-held pseudo-intellectual pretensions. Hamlet’s Soliloquy Through a Postmodern Psychoanalytical Intersectional Feminist Lens is the title of my "magnum opus", and it's all downhill from there. Note that "postmodern psychoanalytical intersectional feminism" isn't actually a thing (I think), but as the old saying goes: "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullcrap."

Anyway, how is everyone? I, for one, haven't had this much fun writing an essay in years.

[Ethel mermania]

Neither do many Americans. America is not insignificant.

Tell me something I do not know. The collateral damage caused by US American geopolitical shortsightedness is downright catastrophic. Without the active support for internationalist jihadism by the Reagan administration there probably wouldn't have been a 9/11, for example.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

[Ethel mermania]

As a European you should be well aware that the makers of bud light are a Belgium corporation. So that achievement is yours.

Says the same guy who found a perverse delight in proclaiming that Belgium does not even exist several dozen times.

It's on the web, it must be true.

[The Blaatschapen]

Yes, his name is hilarious

Do not make the mistake of thinking that the hilarious are perfectly harmless, though. History tells a tragically different story.

Karl Marx was as funny as Groucho

[Hurdergaryp]

America is yuge

WE WILL BUILD A WALL, and name it george.

Oh, please. You wouldn't even recognize a single brick if it hit you square in the head, let alone a goddamn Deutsche Demokratische Republik-style WALL.

[Kannap]

In Bethesda's defense, Fallout 76 was still a better tourism campaign for West Virginia than anything the state has come up with itself.

[Karu Nadu]

Which you have to admit is a very bad thing indeed. Parades are literally more capable than ISIS when it comes to shutting half a city down for traffic, making people late and generally disrupting daily life.

LGBT parades make the soccer moms angry because they’ll actually have to take a detour to get to the hair salon.

Truly a traumatizing display of terrorism.

Wow, I've really started a long string of memespam, haven't I?

[Geneviev]

In other news, my Hamlet essay is utter nonsense wrapped in a veil of various sophistries and strongly-held pseudo-intellectual pretensions. Hamlet’s Soliloquy Through a Postmodern Psychoanalytical Intersectional Feminist Lens is the title of my "magnum opus", and it's all downhill from there. Note that "postmodern psychoanalytical intersectional feminism" isn't actually a thing (I think), but as the old saying goes: "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullcrap."

Anyway, how is everyone? I, for one, haven't had this much fun writing an essay in years.

That sounds like possibly one of the best essays you could write.