Corrupt a Wish VIII

[United States of Natan]

So it looks like the old "Corrupt a wish" thread is gone, so I thought I'd start another one (not sure if the iteration # is correct or not; I'll fix it if it's not).

Rules are simple: You grant the wish of the person above you, but you corrupt it in a way that either changes it, goes by the exact, but unintended meaning of the words, or has unintended, perhaps far-reaching consequences, or whatever other way you see fit to corrupt the person's wish. You then make your own wish.

I wish I was a Waterbender.

[Destructive Government Economic System]

Granted. You can only waterbend during the full moon, and performing spectacular techniques such as bloodbending will require full moons during the month of December.

I wish for Legos that aren't dangerous enough to kill me when I step on them~

[Great Celestial China]

Granted, instead they're mines

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I wish our crusade against the weebs was successful

[United States of Natan]

Granted, instead they're mines

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I wish our crusade against the weebs was successful

Granted, the weebs come back stronger a few years later and launch a successful crusade against you.

I wish for a hamburger

[Bluelight-R006]

Granted. After eating the hamburger you must run the entire perimeter of North America, from Alaska to the Panama Canal and run alongside all rivers and lakes continuously.

I wish for pretty girls I can attract.

[The Traansval]

Granted, she has a dick.

I wish for a wallet that, everytime I open it, a five dollar bill appears in it magically.

[Cul-Ed-Sac]

Granted. Your wallet rejects anything that's not a five-dollar bill.

I wish I have a powerful telescope!

[United States of Natan]

Granted. Your wallet rejects anything that's not a five-dollar bill.

I wish I have a powerful telescope!

Granted, you accidentally use it to look to closely at a star.

I wish Hillary was President.

[Bluelight-R006]

Granted. Your wallet rejects anything that's not a five-dollar bill.

I wish I have a powerful telescope!

Granted, you accidentally use it to look to closely at a star.

I wish Hillary was President.

Granted. Hillary’s running mate is Donald Trump, but she was assasinated one second after she said her last word of the oath of office on her Inauguration Day, so Donald Trump was still president.

Exterminate all East Asians worldwide now!
Nuke China and Japan today!

Granted, except all the East Asians, China and Japan were mistaken for the user of Antifastan during the nuking process, so you die instead of a billion people.

I wish for all the fast food I can eat without getting sick or fat!

[United States of Natan]

Granted, you accidentally use it to look to closely at a star.

I wish Hillary was President.

Granted. Hillary’s running mate is Donald Trump, but she was assasinated one second after she said her last word of the oath of office on her Inauguration Day, so Donald Trump was still president.

Exterminate all East Asians worldwide now!
Nuke China and Japan today!

Granted, except all the East Asians, China and Japan were mistaken for the user of Antifastan during the nuking process, so you die instead of a billion people.

I wish for all the fast food I can eat without getting sick or fat!

Granted, you eat it so fast you choke.

I wish for unlimited quesadillas.

[The Traansval]

Granted. Hillary’s running mate is Donald Trump, but she was assasinated one second after she said her last word of the oath of office on her Inauguration Day, so Donald Trump was still president.


Granted, except all the East Asians, China and Japan were mistaken for the user of Antifastan during the nuking process, so you die instead of a billion people.

I wish for all the fast food I can eat without getting sick or fat!

Granted, you eat it so fast you choke.

I wish for unlimited quesadillas.

Granted, so many quesadillas appear that the entire universe is now full of quesadillas and all live sufficates due to lack of oxygen from the space being taken up by quesadillas.

I wish for a pencil that is always sharp and never dulls

[United States of Natan]

Granted, you eat it so fast you choke.

I wish for unlimited quesadillas.

Granted, so many quesadillas appear that the entire universe is now full of quesadillas and all live sufficates due to lack of oxygen from the space being taken up by quesadillas.

I wish for a pencil that is always sharp and never dulls

Granted, but it's so fragile that it breaks into several pieces immediately.

I wish more nations would join my region.

[Flaireis]

Granted, they invade you and nations that you have embassies with, leaving your nation and the region's reputation in shambles.
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I wish for a will to live.

[Intercosmos]

Granted, they invade you and nations that you have embassies with, leaving your nation and the region's reputation in shambles.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I wish for a will to live.

Your will to live becomes determined by how wany memes you see a day.

I wish for infinite energy.

[United States of Natan]

Granted, they invade you and nations that you have embassies with, leaving your nation and the region's reputation in shambles.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I wish for a will to live.

Your will to live becomes determined by how wany memes you see a day.

I wish for infinite energy.

Granted, it's electrical energy, and it overloads all the electrical equipment in your house.

I wish people would use my wikipedia-style factbook guides more often.

[Bluelight-R006]

Granted. They steal all the info from you and you get banned from NS from claimed, stealing their content.

I wish I could poop on my bully’s food without him seeing it.

[Cul-Ed-Sac]

Granted. The bully has a last-minute change of heart and shares the meal with you.

I wish for a magazine subscription that's good for one year.

[Mzincaelift]

Granted. The other years, the magazine is terrible, and of course you have a lifetime subscription.

I wish I had the patience to write NS Factbook

[Ausinia]

Granted, but you don’t know what to write on

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I wish my NS military was better

[Great Celestial China]

Granted, because it's so good everyone declares war on you and you die

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I wish I had more people working in my prison

[Ausinia]

Granted everyone who works there are prisoners

[Mzincaelift]

Granted. However, you are unable to remember what your request was, making this wish pointless.

I wish to do well in my finals

[Totally not East Lodge]

No dude I won't let you fail. You study hard, bro.

I wish I could lose 10 pounds.

[Tornado Queendom]

No dude I won't let you fail. You study hard, bro.

I wish I could lose 10 pounds.

Granted, you lose 10 British Pounds (the money the UK uses).

I wish for the purging of Forum 7 threads to stop

[The Black Party]

wish granted, NSF is now completely un-moderated.

I wish the second world war never happened.