[ACCEPTED; Issue No. 1191] Intelligent Design?

[Australian rePublic]

Option 3- why can't they sell healthy pets?

TBH this is indeed the weakest of the options but I included it as the groundwork for a possible alternative "against" option. I intend to either rewrite it entirely or get rid of it: the point is that pet shops (at least, in the context of the UK which is what I'm working from) are limited to what types of animals they can sell - you can't buy cats or dogs there for example, you either rescue them from shelters or buy them off third-party breeders (who've also recently been clamped down on, so if you don't hold a license you can't sell from litters).

You might want to specify

[Kylarnatia]

TBH this is indeed the weakest of the options but I included it as the groundwork for a possible alternative "against" option. I intend to either rewrite it entirely or get rid of it: the point is that pet shops (at least, in the context of the UK which is what I'm working from) are limited to what types of animals they can sell - you can't buy cats or dogs there for example, you either rescue them from shelters or buy them off third-party breeders (who've also recently been clamped down on, so if you don't hold a license you can't sell from litters).

You might want to specify

Yeah, could change the line that reads "which control what I can and can't sell, how many bodies I need to run the shop" to either be or include something along the lines of "requiring me to file Violet-knows how many pieces of paper just to get one in return saying I'm allowed to sell this and that...".

[Kylarnatia]

[Title] Intelligent Design?

[Description] Animal rights activists in @@NAME@@ have petitioned the government to ban "designer pets": the selective breeding of household pets to enhance extreme characteristics which they claim leads to multiple genetic defects. After your mailing office was inundated with letters full of sad pet pictures, a meeting has been arranged with interested parties in order to give your poor mail clerks a break, and hopefully put the issue to rest.

[Validity] All

[Option] "Arthritis, skeletal deformation, and brain compression: these are just some of the terrible medical conditions caused by selective breeding," bemoans activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, over-dramatically pointing to a selection of pictures they've sprawled out on your desk while struggling to hold back tears. "People's desire to own breeds like the Maxtopian fold cat and the Lilliputian munchkin rabbit for their supposedly 'cute' characteristics has only fostered an environment of cruel and unethical breeding practices." @@HE@@ finally breaks down. "The government should ban the continued breeding and sale of designer pets, and require all breeders be licensed and comply with a set framework of ethical breeding standards. Think of the poor fur-babies!"
[Effect] owning a really cute pet is grounds for immediate investigation

[Option] "Oh jeez, give me a break!" scoffs prominent B-list celebrity Berlin Chilton, who is credited with starting the designer pet trend, while adjusting her comically large fur-lined hat. "Don't listen to this drama queen, @@LEADER@@. They just don't like that people aspire to be more like me and Mr. Fuzzykins here, who I assure you is very well-loved. Isn't that right, baby?" She stops to blow kisses at Mr. Fuzzykins, a selectively-bred Smalltopian hound, who is panting heavily and looking very sickly in her luxury handbag. "Designer pets represent a person's right to choose, and these so-called 'activists' just want to take that away. We should be encouraging selective breeding, not banning it."
[Effect] micro-@@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are the current fad sweeping the nation

[Option] "I agree with Ms. Chilton, but it's not just about choice. This is my livelihood!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, owner of the local pet shop around the corner from your office. "I'm already tied up in knots by bureaucratic diktats which force me to spend my hard-earned @@CURRENCY@@ just to be issued licenses telling me what I can and can't sell, how many bodies I need to run the shop...All of which drives up costs and prevents me from making a pro--er, I mean, bringing the joy of pet ownership to the nation. Government needs to stop pandering to the feelings of these damn busybodies who want to ruin my business and relax the rules on poor pet shop owners like me." @@HE@@ leans over, and whispers in your ear, "If you do, I'll give you a nice discount."
[Validity] Nations with low economic freedom
[Effect] pet rocks are sold by the pound

[Option] "@@LEADER@@, all this talk presents us with an interesting opportunity..." chimes your Minister of War, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who seems to have invited himself to the meeting. "If we were to selectively breed our own animals, we could turn them into effective weapons against our enemies. We'll usher in a new age of biochemical warfare with vermin designed to destroy our enemies' entire ecosystem!" He cackles maniacally. "Just sign this order I have here, and I'll get the shrinks to work."
[Effect] rabbits are known to spontaneously explode without warning

Changelog - Updated 20/01/19

• Added a point about licensing to Option Three to make the point more clear.

[The Marsupial Illuminati]

You can submit this now.

[Kylarnatia]

You can submit this now.

Great, it is now submitted!

Thank you so much to everyone who helped me write my first issue! With any luck, if it's accepted, it will be the first of many to come!

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck!

[Bears Armed]

Good luck!

[Kylarnatia]

This issue has been officially accepted and implemented into the game as #1191: Intelligent Design (Kylarnatia; ed. The Marsupial Illuminati). I am now officially an Issue Author!

Thanks to everyone who gave feedback and who have supported me in this foray into Got Issues?, let this be the first of many to come. :D

[Jutsa]

Ermagurd! Congratulations!

1,191 issues, then? Oh dear... my list is missing a few. ._.

[Kylarnatia]

Ermagurd! Congratulations! :D

1,191 issues, then? Oh dear... my list is missing a few. ._.

Aye I'm going to let someone else receive it and share it in the Issues thread, I don't want to spoil it. :3

[Jutsa]

I've been doing that with all of my own issues.

Took until like 1,180 for someone to find 1,112.

[Verdant Haven]

This issue has been officially accepted and implemented into the game as #1191: Intelligent Design (Kylarnatia; ed. The Marsupial Illuminati). I am now officially an Issue Author!

Thanks to everyone who gave feedback and who have supported me in this foray into Got Issues?, let this be the first of many to come.

Congrats, Kylarnatia!

If you get a break at any point, don't forget that co-authorship we've got in Google Docs ;-) I still want to get that posted, and we can hopefully get another one under your belt! :-D

[Australian rePublic]

Yeay You!