Title: An Eye for Ophthalmology
Description: Following a sudden and drastic increase in the number of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ diagnosed with vision problems, the government is wondering if it should be putting funding towards a specific eye care solution.
Option 1: “That’s easy. Everyone should wear glasses!” shouts an overly-enthusiastic and rather nerdy-looking @@RANDOMNAME@@. “They’re the traditional way to correct eyesight, they’re simple and easy to care for, and children and adults alike can wear them. With a little help from the government, we can promote to everyone the benefits of wearing glasses! What do you think?”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: “No, no, no! That’s no good!” whines @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ hands you a free contact lens trial kit. “Glasses are ugly. They just look bad! What @@NAME@@ really needs are more contact lenses! They’re small, clean, and almost invisible. If people wear contact lenses, no one else will ever even know about their eye problems! A little government funding towards this business would be great! Think… no more glasses. Ever. Again.”
Outcome: janitors have been finding plenty of lost contact lenses in swimming pools all over the nation
Option 3: “Glasses? No. They break whenever a tennis ball gets me in the face. And contact lenses? Nope. They are such a hassle when swimming…” complains famous athlete @@RANDOMNAME@@, batting @@HIS@@ unusually long eyelashes at you. “Instead, the government should fund laser eye surgery. Sure, it’s kinda expensive, and poorer people might not be able to afford it, but a little funding will change that, right? I got my laser eye surgery a year ago, and haven’t had any problems since! Everyone in @@NAME@@ will love it… right?”
Outcome: citizens are now paying a slightly lower price to have lasers shot into their eyes
Option 4: “Why fund vision solutions when you can just eliminate whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders avid bookworm @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ sticks a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those screens of theirs. Instead, they should be reading more books! If the government could pass a few laws promoting reading and limiting time spent wasted staring at the TV, that would be great! And here’s a free novel to get you started!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 4 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs. Not valid for nations with mostly illiterate populations.
Option 5: “Who cares about eyes?” grumbles @@RANDOMNAME@@, barging past the previous three speakers. “Why should the government be wasting money on eye care anyways? Sight isn’t that important, is it? Spare the taxpayers! We can do without it! Promise me the government won’t get involved in this mess!”
Outcome: it’s normal for people not to be able to read size 16 font
Option 1: “That’s easy. Everyone should wear glasses!” shouts an overly-enthusiastic and rather nerdy-looking @@RANDOMNAME@@. “They’re the traditional way to correct eyesight, they’re simple and easy to care for, and children and adults alike can wear them. With a little help from the government, we can promote to everyone the benefits of wearing glasses! What do you think?”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: “No, no, no! That’s no good!” whines @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ hands you a free contact lens trial kit. “Glasses are ugly. They just look bad! What @@NAME@@ really needs are more contact lenses! They’re small, clean, and almost invisible. If people wear contact lenses, no one else will ever even know about their eye problems! A little government funding towards this business would be great! Think… no more glasses. Ever. Again.”
Outcome: janitors have been finding plenty of lost contact lenses in swimming pools all over the nation
Option 3: “Glasses? No. They break whenever a tennis ball gets me in the face. And contact lenses? Nope. They are such a hassle when swimming…” complains famous athlete @@RANDOMNAME@@, batting @@HIS@@ unusually long eyelashes at you. “Instead, the government should fund laser eye surgery. Sure, it’s kinda expensive, and poorer people might not be able to afford it, but a little funding will change that, right? I got my laser eye surgery a year ago, and haven’t had any problems since! Everyone in @@NAME@@ will love it… right?”
Outcome: citizens are now paying a slightly lower price to have lasers shot into their eyes
Option 4: “Why fund vision solutions when you can just eliminate whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders avid bookworm @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ sticks a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those screens of theirs. Instead, they should be reading more books! If the government could pass a few laws promoting reading and limiting time spent wasted staring at the TV, that would be great! And here’s a free novel to get you started!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 4 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs. Not valid for nations with mostly illiterate populations.
Option 5: “Who cares about eyes?” grumbles @@RANDOMNAME@@, barging past the previous three speakers. “Why should the government be wasting money on eye care anyways? Sight isn’t that important, is it? Spare the taxpayers! We can do without it! Promise me the government won’t get involved in this mess!”
Outcome: it’s normal for people not to be able to read size 16 font
Description: This past year, the National @@DEMONYM@@ Ophthalmology Society has noticed a sudden and significant increase in vision problems nationwide. Many are wondering why this is, and some believe the government should be helping to come up with a solution.
Option 1: “Easy. The reason why people can’t see so well anymore is because the traditional ways to correct vision, specifically glasses and contact lenses, aren’t doing enough,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government needs to put more funding towards laser eye surgery. I got mine a year ago, and haven’t had any problems since! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: people are paying a slightly lower price to have lasers shot into their eyes
Option 2: “No, no, no!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ while fidgeting around with @@HIS@@ glasses. “That’s a horrible idea! Do you know how many times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 3: “Why should you be funding eye care solutions, when you can just eliminate whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate! It’s awful! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 3 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs. Not valid for nations with mostly illiterate populations.
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of the Environment, while flipping through a pamphlet about pollution. “We’ve been taking such bad care of the @@DEMONYM@@ environment recently. It’s terribly polluted, and this can be harmful for our eyes. According to my calculations, this pollution has caused a massive increase in eye diseases. But if we, say, discourage the use of gas-guzzling cars and factories, we can not only help out the environment, but also put an end to these eye diseases! Problem solved!”
Outcome: the environment is okay but the people’s eyes are better
Option 4 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned cars.
Option 1: “Easy. The reason why people can’t see so well anymore is because the traditional ways to correct vision, specifically glasses and contact lenses, aren’t doing enough,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government needs to put more funding towards laser eye surgery. I got mine a year ago, and haven’t had any problems since! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: people are paying a slightly lower price to have lasers shot into their eyes
Option 2: “No, no, no!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ while fidgeting around with @@HIS@@ glasses. “That’s a horrible idea! Do you know how many times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 3: “Why should you be funding eye care solutions, when you can just eliminate whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate! It’s awful! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 3 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs. Not valid for nations with mostly illiterate populations.
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of the Environment, while flipping through a pamphlet about pollution. “We’ve been taking such bad care of the @@DEMONYM@@ environment recently. It’s terribly polluted, and this can be harmful for our eyes. According to my calculations, this pollution has caused a massive increase in eye diseases. But if we, say, discourage the use of gas-guzzling cars and factories, we can not only help out the environment, but also put an end to these eye diseases! Problem solved!”
Outcome: the environment is okay but the people’s eyes are better
Option 4 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned cars.
Description: This past year, the National @@DEMONYM@@ Ophthalmology Society has noticed a sudden and significant increase in vision problems nationwide. Many are wondering why this is, and some believe the government should be helping to come up with a solution.
Option 1: “Easy. The reason why people can’t see so well anymore is because the traditional ways to correct vision, specifically glasses and contact lenses, aren’t doing enough,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government needs to put more funding towards laser eye surgery. I got mine a year ago, and haven’t had any problems since! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: people are paying a slightly lower price to have lasers shot into their eyes
Option 2: “No, no, no!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ while fidgeting around with @@HIS@@ glasses. “That’s a horrible idea! Do you know how many times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 3: “Why should you be funding eye care solutions, when you can just eliminate whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate! It’s awful! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 3 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs. Not valid for nations with mostly illiterate populations.
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of Health, while taking a bite out of the apple that was sitting on your desk. “People these days haven’t been getting good enough nutrition. And improper nutrition leads to higher risk of many eye diseases. @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have been eating way too many unhealthy foods, but not enough of all that good stuff needed for healthy eyes! I’m talking Vitamins A, C, and E, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids! The government needs to promote all the many benefits of healthy eating, including better eyesight! Maybe have them older folk take supplements, too. More nutrients means no more eye diseases! Problem solved!”
Outcome: citizens take fistfuls of supplements every morning claiming it’s for their eyes
Option 1: “Easy. The reason why people can’t see so well anymore is because the traditional ways to correct vision, specifically glasses and contact lenses, aren’t doing enough,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government needs to put more funding towards laser eye surgery. I got mine a year ago, and haven’t had any problems since! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: people are paying a slightly lower price to have lasers shot into their eyes
Option 2: “No, no, no!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ while fidgeting around with @@HIS@@ glasses. “That’s a horrible idea! Do you know how many times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 3: “Why should you be funding eye care solutions, when you can just eliminate whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate! It’s awful! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 3 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs. Not valid for nations with mostly illiterate populations.
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of Health, while taking a bite out of the apple that was sitting on your desk. “People these days haven’t been getting good enough nutrition. And improper nutrition leads to higher risk of many eye diseases. @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have been eating way too many unhealthy foods, but not enough of all that good stuff needed for healthy eyes! I’m talking Vitamins A, C, and E, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids! The government needs to promote all the many benefits of healthy eating, including better eyesight! Maybe have them older folk take supplements, too. More nutrients means no more eye diseases! Problem solved!”
Outcome: citizens take fistfuls of supplements every morning claiming it’s for their eyes
Description: @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the youngest daughter of @@NAME@@‘s most famous movie star, has recently been blinded by laser eye surgery. She had been having eye problems for several years, and finally decided to get corrective surgery to hopefully make things better at last. But it didn’t go as expected, and @@NAME@@ is in an uproar.
Option 1: “Laser eye surgery should be banned once and for all!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, the said famous movie star. “This is my DAUGHTER we’re talking about! Do you know how many other times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run, including those of my own daughter. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: “No! That’s an awful idea! Laser eye surgery almost never actually goes wrong, it just so happened that the one time it did, it happened to the daughter of a celebrity,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government should instead put more funding towards laser eye surgery. All it needs are a few raised safety standards, and some better-trained surgeons, and we’re good to go! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: people are now having lasers shot into their eyes by slightly better-trained surgeons
Option 3: “Why should you be focusing on eye care solutions, when you could’ve just eliminated whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders avid bookworm @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate, movie star daughters included! It’s terrible! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 3 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs.
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of Health, while taking a bite out of the apple that was sitting on your desk. “People these days haven’t been getting good enough nutrition. And improper nutrition leads to higher risk of many eye diseases. @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have been eating way too many unhealthy foods, but not enough of all that good stuff needed for healthy eyes! I’m talking Vitamins A, C, and E, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids! The government needs to promote all the many benefits of healthy eating, including better eyesight! Maybe have them older folk take supplements, too. More nutrients means no more eye diseases! Problem solved!”
Outcome: citizens take fistfuls of supplements every morning claiming it’s for their eyes
Option 1: “Laser eye surgery should be banned once and for all!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, the said famous movie star. “This is my DAUGHTER we’re talking about! Do you know how many other times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run, including those of my own daughter. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: “No! That’s an awful idea! Laser eye surgery almost never actually goes wrong, it just so happened that the one time it did, it happened to the daughter of a celebrity,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government should instead put more funding towards laser eye surgery. All it needs are a few raised safety standards, and some better-trained surgeons, and we’re good to go! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: people are now having lasers shot into their eyes by slightly better-trained surgeons
Option 3: “Why should you be focusing on eye care solutions, when you could’ve just eliminated whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders avid bookworm @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate, movie star daughters included! It’s terrible! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Netflix
Option 3 Validity: Not valid for nations which have banned TVs.
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of Health, while taking a bite out of the apple that was sitting on your desk. “People these days haven’t been getting good enough nutrition. And improper nutrition leads to higher risk of many eye diseases. @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have been eating way too many unhealthy foods, but not enough of all that good stuff needed for healthy eyes! I’m talking Vitamins A, C, and E, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids! The government needs to promote all the many benefits of healthy eating, including better eyesight! Maybe have them older folk take supplements, too. More nutrients means no more eye diseases! Problem solved!”
Outcome: citizens take fistfuls of supplements every morning claiming it’s for their eyes
Description: @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the youngest daughter of @@NAME@@’s most famous movie star, has recently been blinded by laser eye surgery. She had been having eye problems for several years, and finally decided to get corrective surgery to hopefully make things better at last. But it didn’t go as expected, and @@NAME@@ is in an uproar.
Option 1: “Laser eye surgery should be banned once and for all!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, the said famous movie star. “This is my DAUGHTER we’re talking about! Do you know how many other times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run, including those of my own daughter. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: “No! That’s an awful idea! Laser eye surgery almost never actually goes wrong, it just so happened that the one time it did, it happened to the daughter of a celebrity,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government should instead put more funding towards laser eye surgery. All it needs are a few raised safety standards, and some better-trained surgeons, and we’re good to go! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: anyone with a laser-pointer pen can become an eye surgeon
Option 3: “Why should you be focusing on eye care solutions, when you could’ve just eliminated whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders avid bookworm @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate, movie star daughters included! It’s terrible! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Webflix
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of Health, while taking a bite out of the apple from your lunchbox. “@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ these days haven’t been getting good enough nutrition, which can easily lead to a higher risk of many eye diseases. They haven’t been eating healthily enough, nor have they been taking in all that good stuff our eyes need, like Omega-3 fatty acids! The government should promote all the many benefits of healthy eating, including better eyesight! Maybe have them older folk take supplements, too. More nutrients and less unhealthy foods will make eye disease a thing of the past!”
Outcome: citizens take fistfuls of supplements every morning claiming it’s for their eyes
Option 1: “Laser eye surgery should be banned once and for all!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, the said famous movie star. “This is my DAUGHTER we’re talking about! Do you know how many other times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It’s a horrible practice that only damages people’s eyes in the long run, including those of my own daughter. I don’t understand why anyone in their right minds would want to endorse THAT!”
Outcome: usage of the nickname “four-eyes” is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: “No! That’s an awful idea! Laser eye surgery almost never actually goes wrong, it just so happened that the one time it did, it happened to the daughter of a celebrity,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. “The government should instead put more funding towards laser eye surgery. All it needs are a few raised safety standards, and some better-trained surgeons, and we’re good to go! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!”
Outcome: anyone with a laser-pointer pen can become an eye surgeon
Option 3: “Why should you be focusing on eye care solutions, when you could’ve just eliminated whatever’s causing the problems in the first place?” wonders avid bookworm @@RANDOMNAME@@, sticking a bookmark into @@HIS@@ latest read. “People are spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate, movie star daughters included! It’s terrible! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote reading instead! It’s better for your eyes, and makes you smarter too!”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Webflix
Option 4: “You’re onto something here, but I don’t think it’s actually the screens that are causing the problems,” says your Minister of Health, while taking a bite out of the apple from your lunchbox. “@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ these days haven’t been getting good enough nutrition, which can easily lead to a higher risk of many eye diseases. They haven’t been eating healthily enough, nor have they been taking in all that good stuff our eyes need, like Omega-3 fatty acids! The government should promote all the many benefits of healthy eating, including better eyesight! Maybe have them older folk take supplements, too. More nutrients and less unhealthy foods will make eye disease a thing of the past!”
Outcome: citizens take fistfuls of supplements every morning claiming it’s for their eyes
Description: @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the youngest daughter of @@NAME@@'s most famous movie star, has recently been blinded by laser eye surgery. She had been having eye problems for several years, and finally decided to get corrective surgery to hopefully make things better at last. But it didn't go as expected, and @@NAME@@ is in an uproar.
Option 1: "Laser eye surgery should be banned once and for all!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, the said famous movie star. "This is my DAUGHTER we're talking about! Do you know how many other times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It's a horrible practice that only damages people's eyes in the long run, including those of my own daughter. I don't understand why anyone in their right mind would want to endorse THAT!"
Outcome: usage of the nickname "four-eyes" is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: "No! That's an awful idea! Laser eye surgery almost never actually goes wrong, it just so happened that the one time it did, it happened to the daughter of a celebrity," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. "The government should instead put more funding towards laser eye surgery. All it needs are a few raised safety standards, and some better-trained surgeons, and we're good to go! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!"
Outcome: anyone with a laser-pointer pen can become an eye surgeon
Option 3: "Why should we be focusing on eye care solutions, when we could just eliminate whatever's causing the eye problems in the first place?" wonders your Minister of Health, while flipping through an upside-down pamphlet about healthy eating. "People these days aren't getting the kind of nutrition they need for healthy eyes. Not to mention, they're also spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate! It’s terrible! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote more reading instead! Oh, and also, a law about eating more carrots would be great!"
Outcome: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are now eating more carrots per day than your average rabbit
Option 1: "Laser eye surgery should be banned once and for all!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, the said famous movie star. "This is my DAUGHTER we're talking about! Do you know how many other times laser eye surgery has gone totally WRONG? We need to ban it from @@NAME@@ forever! It's a horrible practice that only damages people's eyes in the long run, including those of my own daughter. I don't understand why anyone in their right mind would want to endorse THAT!"
Outcome: usage of the nickname "four-eyes" is now at an all-time high in schools
Option 2: "No! That's an awful idea! Laser eye surgery almost never actually goes wrong, it just so happened that the one time it did, it happened to the daughter of a celebrity," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading from a stack of cue cards with super-small text. "The government should instead put more funding towards laser eye surgery. All it needs are a few raised safety standards, and some better-trained surgeons, and we're good to go! Sure, it may be a little on the expensive side, and poorer people may not be able to afford it, but with some funding and scientific advancements, we can make it happen!"
Outcome: anyone with a laser-pointer pen can become an eye surgeon
Option 3: "Why should we be focusing on eye care solutions, when we could just eliminate whatever's causing the eye problems in the first place?" wonders your Minister of Health, while flipping through an upside-down pamphlet about healthy eating. "People these days aren't getting the kind of nutrition they need for healthy eyes. Not to mention, they're also spending WAY too much time sitting in front of those useless screens of theirs, just letting their eyes deteriorate! It’s terrible! The government should pass a few laws limiting the time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are allowed to spend watching TV, and promote more reading instead! Oh, and also, a law about eating more carrots would be great!"
Outcome: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are now eating more carrots per day than your average rabbit
Draft 7
Description: This past year, the National @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Ophthalmology Society has noticed a sudden and significant increase in vision problems nationwide. Many are speculating upon possible causes of this trend.
Option 1: You hear a crash as your Minister of Good Eyesight bumps into the wall on his way into your office. “People these days spend too much time on these silly little screens of theirs,” he points out, “and it’s terrible for their eyes! We must pass strict laws limiting the amount of time @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ spend using their electronic devices, and encourage them to read some more! A little bit of old-fashioned page-turning wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it? Now, where did I put my glasses?”
Outcome: citizens are often found catching up on favourite TV shows by reading them in books instead of watching them on Webflix
Option 2: “You people are missing what’s right in front of your face,” exclaims monocle-sporting @@RANDOMNAME@@, yanking several of your favourite books off of your shelves. “There is no proof that screens cause sight issues. But look at these books,” @@HE@@ opens one and holds it up, “the text is so small! Forget all your strange screen-limiting laws, we should be banning newspapers and magazines and THESE BOOKS! They’re all a prime cause of near-sightedness!” @@HE@@ then attempts to throw the books into your trash can, missing terribly.
Outcome: perfectly good copies of famous books are often found in the government’s dumpsters
Option 3: “Neither screens nor books have any negative impact on eyesight. We should instead focus on proper nutrition,” says your Minister of Health, while munching on a gigantic slice of chocolate cake. “Nutrition plays a huge role in eye health, and @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ aren’t getting enough of it. We must ensure that every citizen of the @@TYPE@@ receives proper nutrition and full, healthy meals. Those who don’t? They must take supplements to ensure top eye health.”
Outcome: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are now eating more carrots per day than your average rabbit
