Draft 3:
[name] Ai Yai Yai, Calypso!
[description] West Calypso President Victor Sánchez, infamous for being hopelessly corrupt, has taken a new approach towards his falling approval ratings — faking an international incident. A team of intelligence agents have returned from the tiny tropical island in disbelief, detailing how Sánchez fabricated a hostage situation at a non-existant @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ embassy, going so far as to distribute doctored images and press releases. The smear campaign has been so effective that even @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are beginning to grow alarmed at the constant 'news' updates.
[option] "Is this a joke?" grumbles @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of @@NAME@@'s top diplomats. "I get that @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ don't really follow the international news, but Sánchez's affair with his secretary made the '@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ Examiner'. The man is a dangerous manipulator whose narrative needs to be squashed before any more damage occurs. It's worth trying to take advantage of his corruption by giving him a huge payout in exchange for ending this charade. My team of diplomats have a large case of @@CURRENCY@@ ready for transport."
[effect] tinpot dictators brag about @@NAME@@'s willingness to pay their ransom demands
[option] "Wait a darn second!" exlaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your press secretary. "Are you telling me that we can just make things up? And it works? Why bother doing things diplomatically when you can just respond to West Calypso's lies with whatever you want? Next time their government makes a statement about the fake incident, just respond by claiming that Sánchez's government is about to release a biological weapon in retaliation or something. Baffle 'em with bull and you'll confuse them right out of the game."
[effect] government reports are structured like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure game
[option] "I would not give them any ideas," sternly warns General @@RANDOMNAME@@, consulting a topographical map of the West Calypsoan island. "I am concerned that Sánchez is using this false panic as a pretense to pursue military action against @@NAME@@. West Calypso is not a formidable power on their own, but I have sources that claim that Blackacre has been using the island as a proxy to pursue regional interests. Rather than risk a serious threat, my recommendation is to dispose of Victor Sánchez through a coup d'etat and install a more truthful leader willing to follow our lead."
[effect] the nation's primary export is the Banana Republic