The United States vs Vatican City - Who would win?

[Plutonium Blondes]

In the tradition of the US vs X threads:

Who would win a war between the the US and the worlds smallest sovereign state? On the one hand you have an incomparably powerful conventional military force, on the other you have the Swiss Guard and a billion pissed off Catholics - including many Americans. In my opinion the VC would win since the worldwide economic sanctions that would fall on the US would cause its economy to collapse and it would have to sue for peace.

[Farnhamia]

In the tradition of the US vs X threads:

Who would win a war between the the US and the worlds smallest sovereign state? On the one hand you have an incomparably powerful conventional military force, on the other you have the Swiss Guard and a billion pissed off Catholics - including many Americans. In my opinion the VC would win since the worldwide economic sanctions that would fall on the US would cause its economy to collapse and it would have to sue for peace.

Except that the global economy is so intertwined that collapsing the US economy is like sitting on a tree branch and sawing it at a spot between you and the truck. It doesn't end well.

[Militsia]

In the tradition of the US vs X threads:

Who would win a war between the the US and the worlds smallest sovereign state? On the one hand you have an incomparably powerful conventional military force, on the other you have the Swiss Guard and a billion pissed off Catholics - including many Americans. In my opinion the VC would win since the worldwide economic sanctions that would fall on the US would cause its economy to collapse and it would have to sue for peace.

Is it even possible to attack the holy see? Not only catholics would refuse an illegal order. If the president ordered such an attack he would probably very quietly be shipped off to a psychiatric hospital to get the right medication to treat the psychosis or delusions. People would challenge the attack order at every level of command.

[Call to power]

Catholics don't work that way the Vatican would be annexed by Italy and nothing much would change beside the US killing a bunch of Italians in friendly fire

Except that the global economy is so intertwined that collapsing the US economy is like sitting on a tree branch and sawing it at a spot between you and the truck. It doesn't end well.

only one side has the entire planet and the other the US

I can imagine who would come out worse off from this act of hubris and its not the US

SNIP

"offensive wars are illegal" well done but that's easily dealt with by fudging some wmd evidence

[Neo-Erusea]

A better question is why?

[Farnhamia]

In the tradition of the US vs X threads:

Who would win a war between the the US and the worlds smallest sovereign state? On the one hand you have an incomparably powerful conventional military force, on the other you have the Swiss Guard and a billion pissed off Catholics - including many Americans. In my opinion the VC would win since the worldwide economic sanctions that would fall on the US would cause its economy to collapse and it would have to sue for peace.

Is it even possible to attack the holy see? Not only catholics would refuse an illegal order. If the president ordered such an attack he would probably very quietly be shipped off to a psychiatric hospital to get the right medication to treat the psychosis or delusions. People would challenge the attack order at every level of command.

You're assuming that the President instigated this conflict all on his own. Suppose the Pope issued an edict that somehow threatened US national security and after weeks and months of negotiations and escalating tensions ... You get the idea. It doesn't have to always be the US's fault, you know.

[Jervak]

Catholics would be pissed.

Aren't we already unpopular enough?

[Call to power]

A better question is why?

the US government has been deliberately infecting condoms in Africa with the aids virus and the only people who see through the lies are Catholics who need to be stopped so that we can exterminate the natives of Africa obv

haven't you been paying attention to your Soviet era propaganda!?

[Great Nepal]

Vatican City cos of internal rebel in United States itself and also refusal to fire by troops. And also president would be soon assassinated thanks to gun culture of Americans.

[Sierra Lobo]

Do not underestimate the power of the pope. See how the USSR fared in that.

[Jervak]

Do not underestimate the power of the pope. See how the USSR fared in that.

How many divisions does the pope have?

[Sierra Lobo]

Do not underestimate the power of the pope. See how the USSR fared in that.

How many divisions does the pope have?

The pen is mightier than the sword

[Militsia]

Is it even possible to attack the holy see? Not only catholics would refuse an illegal order. If the president ordered such an attack he would probably very quietly be shipped off to a psychiatric hospital to get the right medication to treat the psychosis or delusions. People would challenge the attack order at every level of command.

You're assuming that the President instigated this conflict all on his own. Suppose the Pope issued an edict that somehow threatened US national security and after weeks and months of negotiations and escalating tensions ... You get the idea. It doesn't have to always be the US's fault, you know.

Even with an extreme case of the scenario above. That the pope has ordered the words catholics to boycott the USA and catholics in the US not to obey the authorities. It would still be idiotic to actually invade Italy and arrest the pope. Eighter the pope has a valid reason that could be addressed, or he don't. There are options for both alternatives.

[Call to power]

Do not underestimate the power of the pope. See how the USSR fared in that.

How many divisions does the pope have?

exactly how many times has Switzerland been successfully occupied? this was done by the Swiss militia forces whereas the Pope has professional soldiers who feel that gunpowder is for girls

Even with an extreme case of the scenario above. That the pope has ordered the words catholics to boycott the USA and catholics in the US not to obey the authorities. It would still be idiotic to actually invade Italy and arrest the pope.

have you not heard of antipopes?

[Angleter]

Well, Italy might have something to say about the Yanks deciding to invade a nation that lies slap bang in the middle of its capital. By extention of that, the EU won't like it either, and Latin America won't be too pleased for religious reasons.

So maybe it just wouldn't happen after all.

[Draconikus]

Bearing in mind that the US has a high level of Christians in unusually concentrated amounts (I beleive the phrase is 'Bible Belt') A good twenty percent of the US is placed under seperatist control almost immediately, with widespread civil unrest everywhere else. Italy has a defence treaty with VC so anyone declares war on the VC declares war on Italy. And screw economic sanctions, most countries in the Western hemisphere will be forced to offer some sort of military response in order to keep the voting public happy. Not to mention the massive influx of people from Africa and South America, who have both the religious fervor to actually march off somewhere and kill people themselves, but the access to weapons to do it.
Finally, the majority of other religions on the planet would also be forced to condemn the US, simply for the 'what-if-we're-next' factor.

End result being; Either America gets divvied up into various nation states (I have a feeling the Texans would rescind their U.S membership at the outset of any US/VC war), or the current administration gets removed from office, and a puppet leader is put in place to make sure the Americans don't get any more bright idea's whilst he is in power.

[The Alma Mater]

A better question is why?

Because the USA is devoted to fighting evil ?
At least, so they claim.

Or because the vikings first discovered America, and since the vikings liked to pillage monastries, so should real Americans.

[Cosmopoles]

In the tradition of the US vs X threads:

Who would win a war between the the US and the worlds smallest sovereign state? On the one hand you have an incomparably powerful conventional military force, on the other you have the Swiss Guard and a billion pissed off Catholics - including many Americans. In my opinion the VC would win since the worldwide economic sanctions that would fall on the US would cause its economy to collapse and it would have to sue for peace.

You mean it would be similar to 1870, when the Kingdom of Italy collapsed while trying to seize Rome from the Pope, thus leading to the collection of smaller states which now comprise the Italian peninsula rather than a united country?

[Farnhamia]

You're assuming that the President instigated this conflict all on his own. Suppose the Pope issued an edict that somehow threatened US national security and after weeks and months of negotiations and escalating tensions ... You get the idea. It doesn't have to always be the US's fault, you know.

Even with an extreme case of the scenario above. That the pope has ordered the words catholics to boycott the USA and catholics in the US not to obey the authorities. It would still be idiotic to actually invade Italy and arrest the pope. Eighter the pope has a valid reason that could be addressed, or he don't. There are options for both alternatives.

All we do is dress some Special Ops guys up like tourists and ... ta-da! The Pope's on a plane headed for Gitmo.

Of course it's silly. The whole thread is silly.

[The Parkus Empire]

A: Napoleon got away with it pretty well.
B: I doubt most of the world would care to stand up for rape-little-children-heaven.

[Farnhamia]

In the tradition of the US vs X threads:

Who would win a war between the the US and the worlds smallest sovereign state? On the one hand you have an incomparably powerful conventional military force, on the other you have the Swiss Guard and a billion pissed off Catholics - including many Americans. In my opinion the VC would win since the worldwide economic sanctions that would fall on the US would cause its economy to collapse and it would have to sue for peace.

You mean it would be similar to 1870, when the Kingdom of Italy collapsed while trying to seize Rome from the Pope, thus leading to the collection of smaller states which now comprise the Italian peninsula rather than a united country?

I remember that. Didn't the Swiss Guards capture Garibaldi and Count Cavour and imprison them in the Castel Gandolpho for, like, 20 years?

[Sierra Lobo]

Not to mention the UN general assembly will be turned into a pulpit as the vatican is also a legitimate member.

[Draconikus]

Even with an extreme case of the scenario above. That the pope has ordered the words catholics to boycott the USA and catholics in the US not to obey the authorities. It would still be idiotic to actually invade Italy and arrest the pope. Eighter the pope has a valid reason that could be addressed, or he don't. There are options for both alternatives.

All we do is dress some Special Ops guys up like tourists and ... ta-da! The Pope's on a plane headed for Gitmo.

Of course it's silly. The whole thread is silly.

He does kind've have security for things like that. Y'know, Italian police, Papal police, non-ceremonial Swiss Guard (as in, guys wearing proper kevlar CBA and carrying guns). Makes it rather difficult to kidnap him.

[The Parkus Empire]

Vatican City cos of internal rebel in United States itself and also refusal to fire by troops. And also president would be soon assassinated thanks to gun culture of Americans.

I doubt many Catholics under forty would rebel against the U.S. government for that.

[Aeronos]

I agree, why is the US immediately the one assumed at fault? Globalization has its ups and downs, but at least it has ups. The Catholicization of Africa has damaged it more than any neoconservative imperial policies have. With sectarian violence, AIDS, polio, witch-hunts and oversized familial poverty plaguing the continent so that the Pope can extend his palaces like some sick game of Dwarf Fortress, the Iraq War and Globalization seem almost (ironically) saintly compared...