[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Oh, just a bit early there- the first day is the 25th, not the 24th. If you were in Europe it would probably work by now, but your forum profile says you're in California.

Going by UTC.

Ah. Well, Wrapper is definitely early... Unless date line shenanigans are at play. UTC+14 and all that.

[Wallenburg]

On the Second Day of Christmas

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Category: Education and Creativity || Area of Effect: Cultural Heritage || Proposed by: Wallenburg

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Having previously seen to the distribution of IA's secret telegram key,

Recognizing the power of Christmas cheer in solving international dilemmas,

Certain that Santa will leave presents for all the good ambassadors,

Resolving to fight the war on Christmas,

On the second day of Christmas, the World Assembly does decree that each member state shall receive:

• Two (2) lemming Votes, and
  
  
• IA's secret telegram key.

[Puyo Nexus]

Ban Heterosexual Intercourse
Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong

NOTING that all evil people and other criminals came into this world as a product of heterosexual intercourse,

CONCERNED that more evil people will come into being in the future,

BELIEVING that most of the world's problems are caused by persons,

HEREBY bans heterosexual intercourse for both recreation and for the purposes of reproduction.

And so it was approved, and from now on, the population in Puyo Nexus is declining... until 32nd Tridecember 2018, when Puyo Nexus died because all of its people died.

[Puyo Nexus]

The World Assembly,
Noting that it exists,
Also noting that the

United Nations

existed,
Further noting that there are trillions of people in the world,
Coming to realize that 1 trillion is 993 billion too many,
Hereby releases a virus that deletes NationStates.

Say bye bye, Puyo Nexus!

[Wallenburg]

On the Third Day of Christmas

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Category: Education and Creativity || Area of Effect: Cultural Heritage || Proposed by: Wallenburg

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Having previously seen to the distribution of two (2) lemming Votes and IA's secret telegram key,

Recognizing the power of Christmas cheer in solving international dilemmas,

Certain that Santa will leave presents for all the good ambassadors,

Resolving to fight the war on Christmas,

On the third day of Christmas, the World Assembly does decree that each member state shall receive:

• Three (3) summer trolls,
  
  
• Two (2) lemming Votes, and
  
  
• IA's secret telegram key.

[Pan-Asiatic States]

The World Assembly,

Noting that it is in fact a possibility to lose War RPs, especially when unlearned in military knowledge
Noting the Pan-Asiatic States to have lost many of these, or have abandoned them, due to being bored-to-death with ship designations and whatnot
Alarmed that it is still actually a possibility to lose
Frustrated by the fact that we actually have to post losses
Confused at how everybody's suddenly a military tactician with a Masteral Degree in military science

HEREBY BANS NATIONSTATES ALTOGETHER
Because this entire site stresses me out sometimes
Because I feel like I'm working when I'm on this site
...And then I actually have to do the actual work

[Wallenburg]

On the Fourth Day of Christmas

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Category: Education and Creativity || Area of Effect: Cultural Heritage || Proposed by: Wallenburg

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Having previously seen to the distribution of three (3) summer trolls, two (2) lemming Votes, and IA's secret telegram key,

Recognizing the power of Christmas cheer in solving international dilemmas,

Certain that Santa will leave presents for all the good ambassadors,

Resolving to fight the war on Christmas,

On the fourth day of Christmas, the World Assembly does decree that each member state shall receive:

• Four (4) campaign TGs,
  
  
• Three (3) summer trolls,
  
  
• Two (2) lemming Votes, and
  
  
• IA's secret telegram key.

[Cult of the Black Beast]

NOTING that much in the way of incessant arguing over otherwise pointless proposals is enacted on a continuous basis,
UNDERSTANDING that this arguing is necessary for the decision-making process,
ALSO UNDERSTANDING that time is needed for this decision-making process

HEARBY REQUESTS A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN OF THE WA, TO OCCUR FOR AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME, UNTIL EVERYONE CAN AGREE ON THE EXISTING PROPOSALS,
AND LIKEWISE ALLOWS THE WA TO SHUTDOWN WHENEVER IS NECESSARY IN THE FUTURE, IN THE EVENT THAT IT SHOULD BE DEEMED NECESSARY.

[Imperium Anglorum]

We've all already got the 4 campaign telegrams, courtesy of Milo et al.

[Herby]

HERBY REQUESTS A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN OF THE WA, TO OCCUR FOR AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME, UNTIL EVERYONE CAN AGREE ON THE EXISTING PROPOSALS, AND LIKEWISE ALLOWS THE WA TO SHUTDOWN WHENEVER IS NECESSARY IN THE FUTURE, IN THE EVENT THAT IT SHOULD BE DEEMED NECESSARY.

Ehhhhh believe me I would if I could! Heh heh heh.

[New Excalibus]

The Lasagna Act
Category: lasagne | Area of Effect: wat | Proposed by: Garfield
uhhhhhhh
gib lasagne

[Cult of the Black Beast]

HERBY REQUESTS A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN OF THE WA, TO OCCUR FOR AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME, UNTIL EVERYONE CAN AGREE ON THE EXISTING PROPOSALS, AND LIKEWISE ALLOWS THE WA TO SHUTDOWN WHENEVER IS NECESSARY IN THE FUTURE, IN THE EVENT THAT IT SHOULD BE DEEMED NECESSARY.

Ehhhhh believe me I would if I could! Heh heh heh.

Funny typo was certainly funny. :3

Didn't realize I had a typo, but your reaction and pointing that out gave me a good laugh for the day. Thanks. :3

[Nintendo Switch Parental Controls]

Card puppets are too overpowered.

[Another Wrapperian Puppet]

Card puppets are too overpowered.

I resemble that remark!

[Dictoriahon]

KNOWING that democracy is an evil,

RECOGNISING that leaders have the right to establish totalitarian rule,

BEARING IN MIND that peace can only be established through complete control,

The World Assembly hereby bans democracy.

[Dictoriahon]

KNOWING that the WA sucks,

the WA hereby dissolves itself.

Okay, we're done, people.

[Dictoriahon]

Knowing that NationStates exists,

Recognising nations exist,

Affirming the WA exists,

Considering the fact that it has not changed much,

The WA hereby bans NationStates.

Wait, dagnabit, that conflicts with the last
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[Sierra Lyricalia]

World Assembly Abortionplex and Resort Casino
Free Trade | Significant

With apologies to The Onion

TIRED AS HELL over the continual fighting over abortion in these halls;

DETERMINED to finalize the rights of pregnant persons to deal with their business once and for all; and

EXCITED at the lucrative investment possibilities stemming from vertical integration of all member citizens' reproductive and entertainment needs;

The World Assembly hereby:

1. Directs the WA Office of Building Management (OBM) to acquire complete and perpetual title to a plot of land sufficient to construct the facilities described herein, in no case less than 10 hectares in area, or located more than 25 km from a major commercial international airport; and to oversee the construction, maintenance, security, and general upkeep of same;

2. Orders the construction of the World Assembly Abortionplex and Resort Casino (the "Abortionplex"), which must include:

1. Sufficient medical facilities to abort an average of 30 fetuses per day, including rooms for patients requiring inpatient care;
2. An operating theater capable of handling late-term abortions and surgical procedures relating to foreseeable complications from same;
3. Outpatient facilities for OB/GYN care and general reproductive health services, including but not limited to STI and cancer screenings, psychological counseling, and fertility consultations;
4. Non-prescription contraceptives and erotic/pornographic materials distributed via complementary vending machine or other public dispensary system;
5. A full-service on-site pharmacy;
6. A 3.5 to 4-star hotel with at least two restaurants;
7. Shuttle bus service to and from any nearby attractions and destinations (such as ski areas, beaches, airports, urban centers, etc.);
8. A casino with full service bar, including VIP area(s) and dance club with bottle service;
9. A gymnasium and health center, including indoor pool and sauna;
10. An Olympic-sized outdoor pool with bar service;
11. At least 10 m² of outdoor hot tub;
12. Not less than 2,000 parking spaces;
13. Ramps, elevators, and other accommodations to permit handicapped access to the entire facility;
14. Such other recreational and practical facilities or infrastructure as may be useful, customary, or expected in the country, locale, or region in which the Abortionplex shall be located;

3. Requires that the grounds, facilities, and personnel of the Abortionplex shall be subject to all applicable World Assembly law;

4. Stipulates that no patient may be turned away for any reason short of a threat to the safety or security of Abortionplex personnel, facilities, patients, or customers. To the extent that Abortionplex patients have no or insufficient health insurance or are covered by national health care systems, these (or, if insolvent, the WHA) shall be assessed compensatory fees proportional to the number of nationals served;

5. Creates the Abortionplex Casino Management Co., Inc. ("Abortco") as a publicly traded firm responsible for staffing and daily operation of all facilities and functions of the Abortionplex; subsequent to the IPO, the World Health Authority shall hold no less than 33.3% of Abortco voting stock and no less than one third of the seats on any board of directors, panel of governors, or any other ultimate governing body;

6. Charges Abortco with a mission to serve its shareholders by expanding Abortionplex operations to serve customers and patients across the World Assembly, especially by way of branch offices, subsidiaries, franchising, and acquisition of smaller abortion operations who can't keep up with modern industrial mass fetus destruction without being rescued by Abortco;

7. Obliges nations to permit construction of new Abortco facilities on property zoned for hospitals, hotels, or casinos, and to waive separate permits for each individual Abortco service;

8. Shoves its thumbs in its ears, waggles its fingers around, sticks out its tongue, and goes "PTHBPBPBTHPBPBPTHBPBPTHBPPPP!!!!!!"

[Wrapper]

Opposed. You spelled PTHBPBPBTHPBPBPTHBPBPTHBPPPP wrong.

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

The assembly is so prochoice. I decided I may as well go with the flow.

The General Assembly,

Believing a woman always has the right to choose as to whether her offspring, especially in the womb, deserve to live,

Understanding this assembly hasn't gone far enough in protecting women rights,

Knowing it is not fair to say a woman should not be able to abort after birth,

Hereby,

Permits women to abort after birth with no limit to the age at which the clump of cells that she birthed may be aborted,

Knows that since babies die in the womb if the mother dies it is only fair all clumps of cells which may be classified as her offspring of any age of hers also must be terminated,

Does this in the name of Women's Right to Choose,

Establishes the above and the abortion freedoms act.

[Tinfect]

In honor of the ongoing transphobia debacle...

Transgenda Enforcement Act

Category: Trans Rights! || Strength: Thermonuclear

Global Trans Agenda Legislative Cabal, US Branch

Author: Tinfect, Lord-Genderizer of California

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The World Assembly,

Acknowledging the continued existence of Cis people despite the best efforts of top-secret gender operatives the world over,

Dismayed by the failure of decades of research in medical and sociological fields to come up with any real, hard, scientific, this-one-dude's-third-grade-biology-class evidence for the existence of the transgenderereds beyond the realm of The Libs brainwashing our pure white children,

Ignoring the vast surplus of evidence that transition, social or medical, social acceptance, and improves and in many cases saves the lives of many transgender individuals,

Sticking its fingers in its ears and steadfastly refusing to so much as google the subject so as to allow it to continue to make the same, repetitive, disprove, nonsensical, and downright bigoted claims that it was going to make anyway,

Seeking to rectify this global tragedy with immediate effect,

Hereby:

1. Establishes the Transgender Rights And Nuclear Strategy Agency Generating Explosions Nominally Destroying Academics, hereby referred to as The TRANS AGENDA,
2. Enables The TRANS AGENDA to publish, print, and distribute, all 10,000 verses of The Book of Genders,
3. Empowers The TRANS AGENDA with full control of all nuclear arsenals within Member-States,
4. Requires that any and all Nuclear Arsenals falling under the jurisdiction of The TRANS AGENDA be used at once to nuke any and all centers of Cisgender population,

Mandates:

1. That all 10,000 verses of The Book of Genders be read, aloud, each day at noon and midnight, by every citizen of a Member-State, from memory.
2. That schooling within Member-States shall consist solely of soft repetition of a single verse of The Book of Genders, until memorized, with graduation to take place upon memorization of all 10,000 verses,
3. That Member-States to daily venerate and make appropriate blood sacrifices to The TRANS AGENDA,

Prohibits:

1. The recognition of any so-called 'heterosexual marriages' by any Member-State,
2. The continued existence of any self-identified or suspected 'cisgendered' individuals.
3. The fields of Science^TM, Biology, History, and Common Sense^TM, lest they interfere in the activities of The TRANS AGENDA

[Araraukar]

*snip*

OOC: Now you have to write another for gay agenda.

[Wallenburg]

*snip*

OOC: Now you have to write another for gay agenda.

As vice-chairperson of the Gay Council, I am staunchly opposed to this. We have our own plans, don't interfere with them.

[Marxist Germany]

Court Of Inquisition

Believing that Christianity is the only true religion as mentioned in the New Testament,

Hereby,

1. ESTABLISHES the Court of Inquisition which will try heretics

2. MANDATES all nations
a. ban other religions
b. burn all books criticising the Bible
c. ban any book that doesn't commend the religion of Christianity

3. INSTITUTES the death penalty for all heretics and criticisers of Christianity or the Bible

[Hatzisland]

Legalize Fourth-Trimester Abortions
Category: Human Rights | Strength: Significant

CONVINCED that attempts to assign personhood to non-sapient infants are ridiculous,

BELIEVING that women should not be burdened by an unwanted post-pregnancy,

CONCERNED that fourth-trimester abortions are currently illegal in the vast majority of member nations,

The General Assembly,

DECLARES that infanticide shall be legal in all member nations for a minimum of three months after birth.

OCC: Too bad there is a political party in the USA that actually supports this.