Zitravgradian News Outlet [OPEN - Read Rules]

by **Zitravgrad** » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:59 am

Ministry of Media and Communication
UA: Міністерство засобів масової інформації та комунікацій
RU: Министерство средства массовой информации и связи

A panorama view of Providenska

"Greetings, comrades, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Zitravgradian News Outlet. It is a pleasure to see that you have taken interest in the daily happenings in our United Socialist States. In this thread, we are updating you with the latest news from all thw major, reliable sources in our country. However, this is a read-only thread; therefore, we request that no post be made here apart your subscription to our thread. Thank you very much." - Signed, MMC

Nation Overview

..........The United Federation of Zitravgrad is a huge, (probably) environmentally stunning nation (despite apparent traces of a nuclear war and large wasteland zones), run jointly by Kazimir Ivanovich Miroslavsky as Premier, and Adam Yanovich Dresvyanin as Prime Minister. The nation is remarkable for its world-class surveillance system, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The very lowkey compassionate, democratic, secular population of 14 million Zitravgradians are fiercely patriotic, have dar, cynical sense of humor and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt but also view other, more communistic nations as having made poor life decisions.
..........The medium-sized government prioritizes Education, although Defense, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered very important, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Providenska. The average income tax rate is 35.0%, and even higher for the wealthy. Despite there being no official international aid from the government, it does have a humanitarian organization that relies on charity and profits of state industries.
..........The averagely efficient, lightly deficited Zitravgradian economy, worth 104 trillion Zitravian hryvnias a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with most private enterprise not illegal but wearing a string pulled by the state, except for a considerable number of worker-owned enterprises, local family businesses and freelances. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Mining. For your information, Zitravgradians pay 30-40% income tax, with the rate fitting to the level of their income. The richest citizens earn 12 times higher than the poorest. (ZH$377,814/ZH$31,432 per year)
..........As you may have been aware, the United Federation of Zitravgrad is situated in the Eastern Auropia, bordered in the east and south by Kozavian Empire and Tbilosia, in the west by Eisenhurst, Weissenburg and Pact of Socialist Republics of Serezslavia, in the north by Anartica, or the North Pole. Our nation is a huge, empty nation with low density of population despite apparent traces of a nuclear war and large wasteland zones. You might also know us to be the home of the humanitarian organization -- Blue Cross International (link) and the largest archive of pseudoscience known as Obliquaturology (link). Our tourism industry is also growing and you can see our travel guide. (link) People from Zitravgrad are referred to as Zitravgradians, although the archiac version -- Zitravians -- can be used. The national official languages are Ukrainian which is native to the nation, and Russian which is the legacy of seven hundred years of the Imperial Rule which ended after the Zitravgradian Revolution in 2008.
..........As you may also be aware, our government is collectively referred to as the Kremlin while the decision-making top is known as the Kremlin, which is the collective name for the Chairman's Office and the Administration Commissariat combined. Our legislation is in the Verkhovna Rada (or locally known as the Rada). As of today, the Rada's majority is made up of the Workers' Party, the United Front Party and Agrarian Party. Our current head of the state is Kazimir Ivanovich Miroslavsky, Premier of Zitravgrad (link) and our current head of the government is Adam Yanovich Dresvyanin, Prime Minister of Zitravgrad (link).
..........Culturally, Zitravgrad is primarily Eastern Slavic, with the influences of other Slavic nations and "some German characteristics". Our system is usually described as Authoritarian Conservative Democratic Nationalist State-Capitalist Technocracy, depending on which school of economics you consult. We strongly support egalitarianism and promote equal education, healthcare and welfare for our citizens. We are highly secular, with Eastern Orthodoxy as the major religion after atheism/agnostics. Moreover, our nation also maintains strong and unique academic culture, worker-oriented economy and nationalistic military and law enforcement. Meanwhile, we have friendly views towards environmentalism and even some form of internationalism and declare ourselves an opponent of colonialism and imperialism. As a democratic nation, we are now encouraging political participation from our population of 14 million people. However, we are also anti-interventionist and anti-interference, which means that we do not seek to interrupt the affairs of any nation and we are open to all nations regardless of ideology and government system.

For embassy program, see: (link)
For Q&A, see: (link)

News Source

The Kremlin's Press
The official announcement from the Kremlin itself. Not just news -- but the important information that you must follow! The Kremlin's Press replaced the Bureau of the Governor-General since the Revolution ended. Operated within the Kremlin's Palace itself, its radio channel can be listened to daily and nationally. It is filled with important news from the national emergency down to curfews and monthly recycles days.

Providenska's Herald
One of the nation's oldest newspaper -- it had existed as long as the printing press had existed in the Zitravian lands, thanks to its loyalty to every regime there had ever been on this soil. It is essentially a state-run news source. Hence, creditability is guaranteed. Ask the Ministry if you are ever doubtful!

Rankovyy Zhurnal
Another trusted and long-lived news source for the conservatives and the old elites since 1822! Rankovyy Zhurnal is the favorite on the breakfast table of both the elites of the working class and the working class of the elites. No one in a good mind buys a newspaper costing 15 WKT everyday, you know!

Skhidna Trybuna
This country is large and there is a completely independent news source in the eastern part of the country. Skhidna Trybuna does not take its liberty for granted. Political satire, raunchy headlines -- we have it all!

The Partisans
The Partisan is a relatively young newspaper and quite uncensored, targeted at workers nationwide. Expect politically-inclined messages, left-wing sheningans and more! Considered "the clickbait", there should be no surprise that you can feel the radicality from every article.

Kovdry
Dubbed "every housewife's manual", now Kovdry is better known as the magazine for nice housekeeping tips, good recipes, and DIY how-tos for people of all genders and ages. See more for sewing tips, quilt-making and how to cook with cast iron skillet. Technically a part of Providenska's Herald.

Novyny Ekonomisty
Latest articles for economy, banking, investments and businesses -- as much as it is allowed in this so-called socialist country! We update you with all the information you need to know (or maybe not). Focused on macroeconomy more than microeconomy.

Blue Cross International's Journal
Published every now and then with profits going to charity. BCI's Journal offers you articles about healthcare and medicine written by experts and the latest news of the BCI's domestic and foreign missions.

Zavtra i Ty
Want to see a glimpse of future? Read Zavtra i Ty for weekly articles of science and technology published by experts all over the country and follow-up of the chess and debate tournaments! ~~Absolutely not from the same publishing house with Vchora i Ty.~~

Vchora i Ty
History, art, culture and philosophy -- we offer articles about all arts from the Humanities, as well as the events like art exhibition and theatre nights! ~~Absolutely not from the same publishing house with Zavtra i Ty.~~

Shchodnya Tabloyid
As the name suggests, Shchodnya Tabloyid offers you nothing short of daily entertainment, gossip and fashion news and articles, as well as some spicy information. *winks*

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by **Zitravgrad** » Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:30 am

Skhidna Trybuna - 4 December 2018

Pictured: the cow in mention, in comparison to normal cows

Farmer found a cow near the Zone, cow grows to enormous size

After some panicked calls from the locals, Dr. Brynik Chrynenko (32), the local veterinarian, decided to see for herself what the calls were about. Apparently, Marya Zinysk (58), a farmer in Tamkatska, had found this cow (pictured) near the yellow zone of Zone 11 as a calf and kept it until it grew to an enormous size within months. The villagers, including Mrs. Zinysk, decided that they would call a veterinarian but five of them thought the photos of the cow was photoshopped. Finally, Dr. Chrynenko agreed to come and see the cow for herself.

"I was shocked, I am still shocked if I am to be honest. But if something comes from the zone, you can expect extra organs or unusual size. I don't recommend eating this cow or its milk. Actually, I don't recommend getting anywhere near it if you don't want to get crushed by a cow." said Dr. Brynik Chrynenko in an interview. The cow could be easily seen in the distance.

"We don't even name it. We just call it 'the cow' and everyone knows which cow we are talking about." mentioned Mrs. Marya Zinysk.

The cow is reported to be 1.94 meters (6ft 4in ) in height and weighs over 1,440 kilograms, still slightly smaller than the world's biggest cow, which is 2.25 meters in height and 1.850 kilograms in weight.

by **A m e n r i a** » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:40 am

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by **Zitravgrad** » Fri Dec 07, 2018 8:52 am

Providenska's Herald -- 7 December 2018

United Front Campaigns with "Zitravgradianization" At Last Minute

Known as a strong advocate for Zitravgradian nationalism, Adam Yanovich Dresvyanin, the leader of United Front, reveals in his speech at the Karanidov Square a plan for "Zitravgradianization" or a complete overhaul of cultural and linguistic identity of Zitravgrad.

"For centuries, we were coerced to speak the language of the [Kozavian] empire. We were made to believe that their language was superior. Not anymore, brothers and sisters. Tomorrow, we will speak Ukrainian, we will write Ukrainian and we will teach our children Ukrainian."

His speech was well-received by the crowd and the hashtag #Zitravgradianization becane viral overnight. However, there has been criticism that it will override the existing protection not only on the Russian language but also on minority languages like Belarusian, Polish, Serbian, Bulgarian and German.

Rankovyy Zhurnal -- 7 December 2018

Renewed Debate of Winter Curfew Repeal: "Our citizens can judge the right time by themselves."

Controversial and long-debated, the winter curfew had been in use since the first winter after the nuclear tragedy of 1994 and become a norm that nobody is allowed to question -- but should. Zitravgradian winter is no longer as dangerous as it was in the late 1990s, but doubts still remain near the iron fences of the wasteland zones.

The Karanidov Duma, still occupied by the Workers' Party until the upcoming election in the next two weeks, discusses whether they will redefine the curfew now or leave it to the new government.

"If we repeal it now, it will not be 'democratic'." said the Deputy of the State Duma. "But if we wait until the next government is formed, we will have to enforce the curfew this winter and wait until the next winter to discuss this again."

Vchora i Ty -- 7 December 2018

National Theater to Hold a Concert for Zitravgrad's Favorite Baritone Singer

Eduard Sergeyevich Tikhanov is back on the live stage after months of recovery from a sickness, just in time for winter with his best-selling singer "Flowers in the Snow". The seventy-one year-old singer has a long and stable career in music industry and is known for his bright and charming enthusiasm even in his old age. His timeless classics are associated with the nostalgia of the pre-war idealism, while his newer songs convey hope and strength in the time of difficulty.

The concert is held in the National Theater on Saturday, 15 December 2018. The tickets can be booked online or bought at the Theater from today until 14 December 2018 or until the tickets run out. Book your seats now! 1,500 tickets are available!"

by **Zitravgrad** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:56 am

The Kremlin's Press -- 12 December 2018
Winter Curfew In Place -- Time's Up for Permission Card Sign-Up

Salutations, comrades. As there has not been any change to the legislation concerning nighttime security measure, we are to announce that the winter curfew is now in place. Any citizen found in public space during 12:00 AM - 06:00 AM will be demanded to show the permission card or escorted out of public spaces after a search.

Providenska's Herald -- 13 December 2018
The Election Is Forthcoming! Will it be a White Friday or a Black Friday?

Regardless of the "shapelessness" of Zitravrgadian politics, everyone seems to be looking forward to the election that will take place from 21 - 27 December (weekends included). By "everyone", we also mean the League of Nations' Committees of Democratic Processes. As early as the end of November, the League has sent a corps of staffs to oversee the arrangement and the preparation of the upcoming election, for the sake of "transparency".

Skhidna Trybuna -- 15 December 2018
3 Weapon Smugglers Arrested In Basdon, Still Under Interrogation

This morning, the Oprichnina conducted a raid to crack down weapon smuggling at the Tbilosian-Zitravgradian borders in Basdon. Not much information has been revealed since the crackdown, except for the fact that the smugglers might have a larger base of support.

Basdon has always been the small but persistent in the mind of the Kremlin. In the southeast, Basdon refers to a Russian-speaking region with two major cities of Sadunorsk and Nydensk, in which the citizens still identify themselves as "Basdonsky".

"Basdonsky" has a historical background tracing back to the Kozavian Empire's annexation of Tbilosia in the late 18th century. In the north of Tbilosia was Basdon, the region habited by Russian-speaking Tbilosia. Basdon was one of the claims that the Empire has used to justify its annexation of Tbilosia, but it was the United Socialist States that won Basdon after the Independence War. Although the affairs between the Kremlin and the Basdonskys have be largely hidden and obscured, people in the eastern part of the country know that there have been constant signs of non-compliance from the region.

The Partisans -- 16 December 2018
Communist Party's Confident: "We will preserve and elevate our agenda."

The neglected, the exploited and the overlooked -- the Communist Party has always held itself and its ideology one of the stepping stones for the Revolution, regardless of what the Workers' Party says. The most left-leaning party leader out of the eight parties, Yulian Ivanovich Smirnitsky spoke to his supporters on the balcony of his house in the downtown of Kasgalamov that he would push further the agenda that "the Workers' Party promised but broke", such as the full nationalization of several economic sectors, especially manufacturing. The Workers' Party has had left what they refer to as "breathing space" for the entrepreneurs in such sectors, which dismays the Communist Party to an extent.

Blue Cross International's Journal -- 17 December 2018
Spreading Anti-Vaxxer Propaganda Is "Non-Compliance"

In the world of fast-paced information, it is easy to get lost in the sheer amount of information that we fail to see what is true and not. However, the anti-vaxxer movement has been all but a concern for the medical sector of the United Socialist States. Here in Blue Cross International, we are working days and nights to research and develop vaccination to be more efficient and affordable in order to support the state's mandatory vaccination.

Comrades, if you know anyone who helps in the circulation of such propaganda, do not validate their opinions. The spread of anti-vaccination propaganda is actionable according to Cyber-Security Law and considered an act of non-compliance, due to the mandatory state of vaccination.

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by **Zitravgrad** » Mon Dec 24, 2018 3:30 am

Providenska's Herald
Fourth Day of Election - "No Poll, Comrades"

Whether you'd be voting by post, on the website or at the poll, the results are kept secret until the votes are counted on the Independence Day. The election has been going on smoothly and rather quietly, thanks to the security measure at every voting station.

There are questions whether there will be polls to show the progress of the votes so far. As far as we know, there has been no official poll issued by the League of Nations' Committee of Democratic Process. The officials from the Committee claim that "Polls might affect the results of the election, and hence, no poll will be issued until the day after the election session ends. Nonetheless, the Zitravgradian officials try their best to encourage people to cast their votes within 27th of December. It seems like the people are fairly cooperative and there has been no protest. Except in Basdon, we don't talk about Basdon.

by **Zitravgrad** » Fri Dec 28, 2018 2:03 pm

Providenska's Herald
The Election Resulted Half-Swept the Nation -- The Workers' Staying!

The votes are cast and the votes are counted! It seems that the majority still wishes for Kazimir Miroslavsky to stay for another five years, but also chooses to match him up with the nationalist leader Adam Dresvyanin. In the Verkhovna Rada, the Workers' Party formed the majority with the United Front and the Agrarian Party. The formation of the new Verkhovna Rada can be seen here.

The public is now more or less looking forward for what the new Premier and the Prime Minister will bring and change in the country in the new year of 2019 and so on. However, it is still a month away until the new Five-Year Plan will be present.

by **Zitravgrad** » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:21 am

11 January 2018

The Partisans
Party MPs and Cabinet Ministers to disclose their donor lists and tax returns: The Verkhovan Rada gave in to the heavy accusation of 'Oligarchy Situation' and revealed their hands despite cries of 'privacy violations'.

Kovdry
Car accidents 'involve old people more than younger one', say the Traffic Department: Motorists call for the Rada to rethink lifelong driving license.

Novyny Ekonomisty
Zitravgrad's High Employment Rate - High but Empty?: Economists debate the interpretation of the national employment rate. Is it truly the success of the Workers' Party? Or did they invent trivial jobs to fit people in? With academic degrees more easily-earned but hardly used, is our employment rate an indicator of economic success?

Providenska's Herald
International News: Nuclear-powered airship made a crash landing in Fascist Republic of West Bezekh -- 2 dead, 66 injuries.

by **The Black Party** » Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:56 pm

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by **The Black Party** » Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:59 pm

[The_Social_Party] commented:
"Whoever is complaining about glorious Zitravgrad's high employment rate is one heck of a downer! Zitravgradians should be thanking the Worker's Party for this national breakthrough!"

by **Zitravgrad** » Sun Jan 13, 2019 12:39 pm

13 January 2018

Skhidna Trybuna
Opinion: Basdon Looking Rough -- Dissent in the Southeast?

After the weapon smuggling operation was shut down in mid-December last year, the happenings in Basdon seem to be ridden with an invisible tension. Basdon is one of the two regions with below 65% participation rate during the election last year, while the majority of voters in the region seem to root for the left-wing Agrarian Party and the Communist Party.

With the new government run by the right-wing United Front and the ideologically-stagnant Workers' Party, there are questions about against whom the 'front' is being united. People in Basdon are fearing that the new law concerning national official and recognized languages mentioned by Prime Minister Dresvyanin can threaten their identity. Basdon is a Russian-speaking region of Zitravgrad, in which Ukrainian is barely in use. It borders the Kozavian Empire to the east and still bears traces of Kozavian culture. If the front is indeed united against the traces of Kozavian occupation in Zitravgrad, then the government in Providenska must consider well its consequences.

Blue Cross International's Journal
BCI Warns Against Blindfold Challenge

We are more or less aware that our almost nihilist nature can lead us to bouts of thrill-seeking from time to time. However, the recent trend in the western world is becoming problematic. We do not quite know how the movie went, but we are telling you here that wearing blindfold in public can lead to dangerous situations, injury and more.

by **Zitravgrad** » Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:05 pm

15 January 2018

Providenska's Herald
Fire ravages a warehouse northeast of Providenska: At 11:32 AM, a report was received by Providenska Fire Department that a warehouse belonging to the state-run tool company Konova was on fire after an accident involving a gas leak. The fire department arrived at the scene at 11:57 AM and put out the fire within 43 minutes. The reported casualties involve 2 heavy injuries and 7 minor injuries, including one fireman.

Novyny Ekonomisty

Vasily Antonovich Zhuikov

Fishing Industry Branded With More Regulations: After the conference in Talma on 13 January, High Ambassador and National Delegate Vasily Zhuikov reported that Zitravgradian fishing industry is required to limit or stop its whaling activities in the Anartica or face a sanction on products related to the industry.

Rankovyy Zhurnal

Oleksandr Kyrychenko (left) and Dr. Nikita Timofeyevich Loskutov (right)

New Cabinet Arranged: "Dear Kyrychenko" Overtakes Ministry of Defense: In the previous week, the Cabinet was rearranged approved by the government, with the new ministers expected to take their respective office within the next week. Only one minister who keeps his position is Alexander Vasilievich Ramovanov, Minister of Labor. Meanwhile, the Ministry of Defense receives Oleksandr Vitalijovych Kyrychenko as its new minister. Not only has Kyrychenko has served in the Independence War and bears the rank of Full General, but he is also an ardent support of the Workers' Party and the Premier throughout ten years in his position as Chairman. Publicly dubbed "Dear Kyrychenko" from Premier Miroslavsky's interview in 2010, Oleksandr Kyrychenko's rise to such a bureaucratic position might have a deeper meaning. Whether he will endear himself to the public is another matter.

Meanwhile, Dr. Nikita Timofeyevich Loskutov is made the new Minister of Health -- a popular choice. With Twenty-two years of experience in the hospital, Dr. Lostukov is more of an actual doctor than a bureaucrat, unlike his two predecessors.

Zavtra i Ty
Mutants in the Zones "Not Nearly Extinct": The study from the reports and field expeditions of the Wasteland Authority proves that mutants in the Wasteland Zones are no longer an urgent threat, but not nearly wiped out due to the difficulty in exploring the ground in the Zones.

Shchodnya Tabloyid
The Man from Thorchyryn Popular Abroad: Post-revolutionary drama-historical film The Man from Thorchyryn becomes critically-acclaimed in many Auropian countries after its release at the start of January. Starring Boris Duranichev as Radzislaŭ Kupava, the plot involves a young officer Radzislaŭ Kupava, his heroic exploits in the Zitravgradian Independence War and his life after the Revolution before his death in 2016, to which the first Chairman remarked "Zitravia has lost one of her most renowned liberator."

17 January 2018

The Kremlin's Press
Silver Commonwealth's Embassy Shut Down After Alleged Plot of Terrorism -- Avoid the Area if Possible

Yesterday, the Office of Prime Minister issued an order for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to shut down the embassy belonging to the Silver Commonwealth on Mednyy Put after allegations of the Commonwealth's terrorist plots inside Zitravgrad. This morning, the embassy receives the ultimatum to move its staffs out within 24 hours under the watch of the agents from the Oprichnina, who will also be searching for suspicious activities within the areas. Please avoid the Mednyy Put to lower the traffic and to ensure your safety.

by **The Black Party** » Tue Jan 15, 2019 10:17 am

[The_Social_Party] commented:
"Dr. Loskutov will do a great job! He was the right choice for the Cabinet! A very smart decision! He will undoubtedly keep his role in the next reformation."

by **Zitravgrad** » Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:40 am

23 January 2019

Providenska's Herald
"Science" and "Education" Now Two Separated Ministries: Once approved by the Rada, the Ministry of Science, Technology and Education was split into two ministries: Ministry of Education and Ministry of Science and Technology. One of the major reasons behind this split is to hand the national education system to academics outside scientific fields.

Rankovyy Zhurnal
- Zitravgradian Postal Service Partially Privatized: After many wrangles about the quality of the nationalized postal service, the Bureau of Postal Service or ZitravMail has allowed private shareholders. However, the state still has a monopoly on the postal service.

- Zitravgrad Telecom to Discuss Legal Complications with Social Media Corporations

- Immigration Quota Likely To Stay The Same at 500,000 Immigrants Per Five Year

by **Silver Commonwealth** » Mon Jan 28, 2019 1:20 am

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by **Zitravgrad** » Wed Feb 20, 2019 6:10 am

20 February 2019

The Kremlin's Press

Five-Year Plan Released -- the nation focuses on building social and cultural identity:

Officialy released on the previous 18 February, the Third Five-Year Plan lays out the government projects and plans for the administration formed by the Workers' Party and the United Front. Unlike the previous two plans with the sole goal of rebuilding material aspects of the nationm this plan promises to "create and nurture Zitravgrad's national identity."

Providenska's Herald
Split Between Science and Education Ministries Finally Set:

After the amendment of the Constitution and the formal and legal separation of Ministry of Science and Technology and Ministry of Education, the new Five-Year Plan has drawn a clear line between the two ministries. Appointed in January, Minister of Science and Technology Tymofij Volodymyrovych Svanadze and Minister of Education Adolar Trokhymovych Schachtschneider have sworn into their respective offices.

Rankovyy Zhurnal

Zitravian Orthodox Church Created -- A Separation from the Kozavian Church!:

Yesterday, the ceremony of the creation of the Zitravian Orthodox Church was attended by more than 5,000 devout Orthodox Christians and patriots who were in favor for a spiritual separation between Zitravgrad and the Kozavian Empire. Despite centuries under the Eastern Orthodox Church, Patriarch Kirill and Zitravgradian faithfuls unanimously declared their wish to establish their own church, which would be consented by the Prime Minister and later the Premier.

Skhidna Trybuna

Basdon In Protest:

The heavy, uneasy air in Basdon, the culturally and politically ambiguous region of Zitravgrad was an omen for dissidents. Fueled by ever-growing nationalistic reforms in Providenska, Basdon has voiced its own discontent in the form of protest. Although most protests are peaceful with tight police presence, there are reports of several vandalism and minor attacks on the law enforcement. The security measure will remain moderate until further signs of violence.

by **The Black Party** » Thu Mar 07, 2019 8:07 pm

[The_Social_Party] commented:
""Minor" attacks on law enforcement? Unacceptable! No attack on honourary law-enforcers should ever be considered minor! Make haste Commissariat of Internal Affairs; restore proper order to Prosperous Zitravgrad!"

by **Zitravgrad** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 4:29 am

Attention!

Due to several waves of disturbance, the communication line between Gaia XT-000 [Our Planet] and the rest of the Multiverse had been severed for over a month. This caused the information from our nation or any nation in our world to stop updating itself for the entire duration of the disturbance. We apologize for the extreme inconvenience and promise to return the signal to normal frequency as soon as possible.

All Multiversal activities involving our nation will continue as usual(?)

High Regards,
Kremlin's Press

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