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The Great NationStates Bake Off - Patisserie Week

Talk about regional management and politics, raider/defender gameplay, and other game-related matters.
Not a roleplaying forum.

Which Bakers should go through to the next round?

The Pacific
20
13%
The South Pacific
44
28%
The North Pacific
10
6%
The West Pacific
13
8%
The East Pacific
29
18%
The Rejected Realms
18
11%
Osiris
24
15%
 
Total votes : 158

User avatar
The Great NationStates Bake Off
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 10
Founded: Oct 16, 2018
Ex-Nation

The Great NationStates Bake Off - Patisserie Week

Postby The Great NationStates Bake Off » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:29 pm

Welcome to the Great NationStates Bake Off!

Image




NationStates' first amateur baking show where every participant is a GCR. Airs Tuesdays. Incredibly entertaining. Very sarcastic host. Audience input. Really beautiful cookies and cupcakes. Sounds yummy, right?

Episodes so far...

Cookie Week
Cupcake Week
Patisserie Week


Yes, I know that this looks like an anonymous puppet, but if it isn't painfully obvious who I am, you probably don't know me anyway. I just like anonymous puppets, okay? If you read this, please enjoy a video of a baby dikdik. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSv3s6FRFUE
Last edited by The Great NationStates Bake Off on Sun Dec 23, 2018 8:40 am, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
The Great NationStates Bake Off
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 10
Founded: Oct 16, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby The Great NationStates Bake Off » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:29 pm

Image

"Well, Warzone Airspace, I think it's time to diffuse the tent-ion."

"What do you mean, Warzone Sandbox? I'm feeling pretty relaxed."

"I don't think our bakers are."

"Oh, that was today?!"

"You did get the tent ready, didn't you?"

"Well, if I hadn't, at least there would be less tent-ion."

Image


Nine bakers have entered the tent for the Great NationStates Bake Off, a very original concept that nobody can be sued for. These nine are NationStates' best amateur baker regions, in the same way that if nobody in a region has any endorsements, random ones will be put at the top of the World Census. They also happen to be the Feeders and Sinkers. Right now, though, all of them are Bakers.

Warzone Sandbox steps forward.

"Welcome, Bakers! For the next six weeks, you'll be whittled down one by one, like a cookie box gradually being decimated, until only the winner remains. You may notice that, unlike in the real Great British Bake Off, there are no judges - that's because NSGP as a whole is going to judge you, hopefully, if this isn't a completely awful idea."

"So, why wait? We want each region to produce a batch of beautiful and tasty cookies this week! Ready, set, BAKE!"

Image


The bakers get going immediately. There are various close ups of worried faces, but it is difficult to tell that they are worried because all of their faces are flags. Lazarus drops its mixing bowl five times, and has to start again every time, each time trying a slightly different recipe. The Pacific tells Warzone Airspace that it's using a recipe several decades old. The Rejected Realms accidentally gets wolf fur in the cookie dough, and has to throw away several contaminated cookies. Balder does the same, but with balding hair. The hosts make several terrible puns that are not PG13 enough to be repeated on this forum. As the time ticks down, the South Pacific whispers "go go go" under its breath.

Then...

"BAKERS!" yells Warzone Sandbox. "The trigger's gone off, you have ten seconds to get your cookies onto the judging table!"




Please imagine the following filmed in HD and slow motion, with detailed and loving close ups. Recipes are chosen based on personal thoughts on what fits, and also what would make good puns.




THE EAST PACIFIC - LOLI-POP SWIRL COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"Vanilla sugar cookies, sandwiched with peppermint cream, just like the sugar cookies of the Loligarchy surrounded the cold and minty heretics!"




OSIRIS - SALTINO CARAMEL COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"A cookie fit for a pharaoh. Enough to fulfil salt needs if NSGP isn't providing enough today."




THE PACIFIC - ALMOND & EMPRESSO COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"A good Pacifican must be ready to serve whenever the Emperor orders, just as these cookies are ready to serve with a deep black coffee."




BALDER - CRANBERRY & PUMPQUEEN COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"This cookie is so hearty and homely that we distribute it to the Jormsvikings as an essential part of their rations."




THE SOUTH PACIFIC - LLAMA-N & POPPYSEED COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"Not that sweet, but certainly very zesty. Best served with iced tea, which is best served spiked."




THE REJECTED REALMS - KANDIED LEMON & THYME COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"A sophisticated, herby, grown-up cookie. Eat it over your keyboard, and let the crumbs dictate what you type. It will make exactly as much sense as whatever else is being typed in TRR."




THE NORTH PACIFIC - MALLTED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"Whisking these was whiskey business - just like trying to read the Constibillocode when you're already very sleepy."




LAZARUS - PEKHAN PINWHEEL COOKIES

Image
Recipe

"It goes around and around in circles, never curving the same way twice. I can see how it could drive someone nuts."




THE WEST PACIFIC - DARKESIA CHOCOLATE & CHILI

Image
Recipe

"Spicy, salty, bitter, but overall pretty sweet. Actually, this cookie just sums up NationStates. Is it too late to change?"




Who will go home? Who will be Star Baker? The audience decide...

You can vote in the thread poll above for as many regions as you like. They'll be counted next Tuesday, so vote soon, or you may not be able to vote for your region again, because it'll be out and it'll be all your fault.

You can also contribute to a region's success by submitting recipe ideas you think fit it well - send them to me by telegram, and each idea will add five votes to that region. If you actually bake any of these recipes and can post proof, that will count as at least ten votes for a region of your choice. The region with the most votes will become Star Baker - the region with the least will sadly be out of the Great NationStates Bake Off.

Tune in next Tuesday for Cupcakes and Muffins Week!

User avatar
Malphe
Diplomat
 
Posts: 724
Founded: Jun 02, 2016
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Malphe » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:35 pm

Okay this made me chuckle :clap:
Malphe Vytherov-Skollvaldr
(Osiris, Malphe II, (The North Pacific, Malphe)

Pinky and the Brain's moderately more successful cousin-
- and apparently Rach's adopted son.
[b]Ur a thot malphe - Salvarity
Malphe you could never disappoint - Kyorgia
Malphe is a snitch - Kyrusia
We already knew you were scum Malphe - Badger
Malphe region exists! I'm not the only narcissist with a self titled region! - Vandoosa
That darn Malphe guy is a real menace - Imki
I’m up for watching you get DOS’d, Malphe - Ark
heard this nasty rumor that malphe was a udl plant - Mall
Malphe you disgust me - Jamie

User avatar
New Haudenosaunee Confederacy
Secretary
 
Posts: 34
Founded: Oct 12, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby New Haudenosaunee Confederacy » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:37 pm

Malphe wrote:Okay this made me chuckle :clap:

Same. :clap:
[insert good signature here]

User avatar
Zukchiva
Secretary
 
Posts: 33
Founded: Dec 06, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Zukchiva » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:40 pm

East Pacific ftw! *Holds up sign*

This is beautiful!
My views do not represent those of the East Pacific. I speak only for myself, and myself only.

User avatar
Aenglaland
Diplomat
 
Posts: 540
Founded: Dec 01, 2008
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Aenglaland » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:43 pm

Those Mallted Chocolate Chip Cookies look so good :p
Come to The North Pacific!
Pineapple on pizza delenda est!
Just call me Loh

User avatar
Sassoon
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Aug 05, 2016
New York Times Democracy

Postby Sassoon » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:51 pm

Mmmm, I'm getting hungry just reading this.
Wielder of the Bantrident, Decanus of the Praetorian Guard of the Pacific

User avatar
Lord Dominator
Senator
 
Posts: 4817
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Corporate Police State

Postby Lord Dominator » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:53 pm

This is pretty funny actually :lol:
Dee Vytherov-Skollvaldr | Forest | TBH Lieutenant and Council Member | WA Vizier | Ambassador to the WA

User avatar
Guyomartand
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 14
Founded: May 09, 2017
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Guyomartand » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:57 pm

Looks delicious... Shame we can't eat virtual food...
This doesn't represent my ideas/beliefs... Mostly...

User avatar
Frattastan IV
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 139
Founded: Sep 02, 2018
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Frattastan IV » Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:06 pm

The Great NationStates Bake Off wrote:"It goes around and around in circles, never curving the same way twice. I can see how it could drive someone nuts."
Please be ashamed.
Rejected Realms Army, High Commander

Draganisia wrote:Also it seems the next war could be NPO fighting directly against Pacifica.

User avatar
The Ferret Lands
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 59
Founded: Dec 31, 2017
Father Knows Best State

Postby The Ferret Lands » Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:17 pm

These all look so good... but I can't vote for them all :( :?
I'm going to go eat some actual cookies now.

User avatar
Marilyn Manson Freaks
Diplomat
 
Posts: 720
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Marilyn Manson Freaks » Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:24 pm

Damn, now I'm hungry.
Hi, I'm Manson! I'm just your friendly neighborhood rockstar!
NS Join Date: November 6th, 2015

Here are some things I've authored.

Jobs & Positions
4th Generation Fishmonger
Founder of the Church of Zyonn
NRO Stooge

User avatar
Miss Bad Life Choices
Attaché
 
Posts: 96
Founded: Feb 12, 2018
Father Knows Best State

Postby Miss Bad Life Choices » Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:25 pm

The Great NationStates Bake Off wrote:OSIRIS - SALTINO CARAMEL COOKIES

(Image)
Recipe

"A cookie fit for a pharaoh. Enough to fulfil salt needs if NSGP isn't providing enough today."



Yes to both the salt and the puns :P
Rachael Vytherov
Council of Hawks ~~ Overseer of Blade
Major of The Black Hawks
Chief Vizier of the Osiris Fraternal Order
Raider Juliet

User avatar
The Church of Satan
Diplomat
 
Posts: 925
Founded: Apr 15, 2013
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby The Church of Satan » Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:37 pm

Pun Level: 58

You're ready to take on the Pun-emon league.
The Rejected Realms: Former Delegate | Former Vice Delegate | Longest Consecutively Serving Officer in TRR History - 824 Days

Chanku: This isn't an election it's an assault on the eyes. | Ikania: Hear! The Gospel of... Satan. Erh...
Yuno: Not gonna yell, but CoS is one of the best delegates ever

User avatar
Fedele
Attaché
 
Posts: 69
Founded: Apr 23, 2005
Father Knows Best State

Postby Fedele » Tue Oct 16, 2018 4:05 pm

I support this.

User avatar
Grater Tovakia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 510
Founded: Mar 27, 2018
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Grater Tovakia » Tue Oct 16, 2018 4:11 pm

Great idea, if you can't beat TNP in N-day, you can beat them in a satirical forum bake-off.
This nation is now a puppet, my main is Sundowers

User avatar
Altinsane
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 158
Founded: Feb 13, 2017
Moralistic Democracy

Postby Altinsane » Tue Oct 16, 2018 4:21 pm

Oh my gosh, who is doing this? I love it! Let me get my chef hat on, I'm bout to bake y'all into a corner!
Altino Asteorra
Karma Sage
Hasal-Pharaoh of Osiris
Occasional Punstress
Very, very fond of owls
{o,o}
|)__)
-”-”-

User avatar
Cormactopia Prime
Minister
 
Posts: 2341
Founded: Sep 21, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Cormactopia Prime » Tue Oct 16, 2018 4:44 pm

I voted for Lazarus and Osiris (obviously), but honestly I like them all except TEP's, TSP's, and TRR's. The rest look so good, I actually want to eat them!
Cormactopia Prime
Founder of the Republic of Thalassia

Justin Amash for President | "The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse." - Edmund Burke

| LAND OF THE FREE ||AMERICAN||POLITICAL|| RP || IS || UP! | - JOIN NOW!

User avatar
Alkasia
Envoy
 
Posts: 281
Founded: Sep 24, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Alkasia » Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:12 pm

This is sufficiently wholesome and I do love the Bake Off.

If only I could bake, I'd make all of these. :(
Former Delegate of XKI, current Reject with a penchant for murder.
Defender Romeo
Democratic Socialist
Koth wrote:Alk resembles some sort of slime mold that asexually reproduces scum, as is standard for XKI natives
Cormactopia Prime wrote:You're silly. I miss the XKI veterans who knew how to appropriately deal with raiders.
Kanglia wrote:Can confirm lynching Alk is the most satisfying thing. :p
Sarakart wrote:What a time to be alive. Welcome to the legislative revolution, the liberation wars have begun.

In reference to XKI's Embassy thread:
Benevolent Thomas wrote:"Something you thought you'd never see for $3000, Alex."

User avatar
Yuno1
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 11
Founded: Feb 15, 2016
Father Knows Best State

Postby Yuno1 » Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:38 pm

This
is amazing
especially the Loli-pop cookies

User avatar
Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4534
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:20 pm

I want every last one of these.
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
Aumeltopia
Secretary
 
Posts: 35
Founded: Apr 02, 2017
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Aumeltopia » Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:33 pm

Cormactopia Prime wrote:I voted for Lazarus and Osiris (obviously), but honestly I like them all except TEP's, TSP's, and TRR's. The rest look so good, I actually want to eat them!

In an unexpected twist, Cormac declares that henceforth he will judge which GCRs he likes and which he doesn't by whether or not he would want to eat their baked goods. :P
Last edited by Aumeltopia on Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
^-^
aka Somyrion


Auphelia wrote:Raccoons are bandits! First they steal your food . . . and then your heart/identity!

User avatar
Alkasia
Envoy
 
Posts: 281
Founded: Sep 24, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Alkasia » Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:40 pm

Maybe Balder and TRR can reconcile their differences over their shared risk of leaving.
Former Delegate of XKI, current Reject with a penchant for murder.
Defender Romeo
Democratic Socialist
Koth wrote:Alk resembles some sort of slime mold that asexually reproduces scum, as is standard for XKI natives
Cormactopia Prime wrote:You're silly. I miss the XKI veterans who knew how to appropriately deal with raiders.
Kanglia wrote:Can confirm lynching Alk is the most satisfying thing. :p
Sarakart wrote:What a time to be alive. Welcome to the legislative revolution, the liberation wars have begun.

In reference to XKI's Embassy thread:
Benevolent Thomas wrote:"Something you thought you'd never see for $3000, Alex."

User avatar
Glacikaldr
Envoy
 
Posts: 296
Founded: Jul 17, 2016
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Glacikaldr » Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:40 pm

Sad Alk.

Cormactopia Prime wrote:I voted for Lazarus and Osiris (obviously), but honestly I like them all except TEP's, TSP's, and TRR's. The rest look so good, I actually want to eat them!

My apologies, but it seems you lack the sophistication necessary for taking pleasure from a True Reject's cuisine.
TRR's MOST PROLIFIC DOOFA

WikiStates - Glacikaldr

User avatar
Glacikaldr
Envoy
 
Posts: 296
Founded: Jul 17, 2016
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Glacikaldr » Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:51 pm

Alkasia wrote:Maybe Balder and TRR can reconcile their differences over their shared risk of leaving.

You can apologise now.
TRR's MOST PROLIFIC DOOFA

WikiStates - Glacikaldr

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