[ACCEPTED] Of Mice and Meth

[Jutsa]

So this is a very cruel but somewhat funny idea I thought of just tonight,
as a cross between another premise idea I had and the title I for some reason thought along the lines of. >_>

Draft 1.11

Title: Several Thousand @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Dance Into a Bar
The Issue: More and more citizens are reporting sightings of animals, particularly those that live in urban areas, behaving strangely since the nation's water supply was drugged, ranging from carelessness and daredevilry to frantically dancing, often to death.
Validity: The water supply is drugged.

Option 1: "You guys are the greatest in every way — especially you, dearest @@LEADER@@ — but this contamination is destroying our environment!" exclaims recreational urban habitat observer @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping from a completely safe glass of government-approved tap water. "My colleagues and I all witnessed as a colony of mice bayed at a statue of you. Of course, I see something like that every day... but still, all of us saw it this time! You have to cut back on the water drugging!"
[effect] city dwellers are cynical of the cynical country dwellers

Validity: Pets are legal
Option 2: "Woah, who cares about, like, a few pesky rats? This water is, like, poisoning our pets, dude," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an excessive pet owner who was particularly thirsty this morning. "Ya don't have to, like, stop stoning the water, but maybe you should sell some safe water specifishishily for pets or whatever. You could even make it taste funny to make people not wanna drink it. Like, maybe my bunnies won't try to breathe water anymore."
[effect] moldy cheese water tastes surprisingly alright for a few hours

Option 3: "Listen to this buffoonery-talk of suicidal rodents; it's obvious there is a problem, but not just with animals," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sociologist who's secretly been drinking from pond water that's not been government-approved. "Drugging our water supply is truly despicable, and you bottom feeders must stop it at once! It is hurting our environment, as it is hurting our civilization, and the idea is frankly pond scum. I-" @@HE@@ coughs up a little minnow.
[effect] hyperawareness and paranoia are accompanying the nationwide drug withdrawal

Option 4: "Listen to these dissidents; the drugs clearly aren't powerful enough!" exclaims your Minister of Crowd Control and author of the controversial book Utopia: @@NAME@@ On Steroids. "If anything, we've got to dump MORE into the water supply! So what if a few people start reacting like the animals? It's better than everyone wising up to our plan."
[effect] doctors are having trouble telling an acute appendicitis from an obtuse drug effect

Title: Several Thousand @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Dance Into a Bar
The Issue: Since the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ water supply has been drugged, reports have begun to come out that some animals, particularly those that live in urban areas, are having some peculiar side effects, ranging from carelessness and daredevilry to frantically dancing, often to death.
Validity: The water supply is drugged.

Option 1: "You guys are the greatest in every way — especially you, dearest @@LEADER@@ — but this contamination is destroying our environment!" exclaims recreational urban habitat observer @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping from a completely safe glass of government-approved tap water. "My colleagues and I all witnessed as a colony of mice were baying at a statue of you. Of course, I see something like that every day... but still, all of us saw it this time! You have to cut back on the water drugging!"
[effect] city dwellers are cynical of the cynical country dwellers

Validity: Pets are legal
Option 2: "Woah, who cares about, like, a few pesky rats? This water is, like, poisoning our pets, dude," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an excessive pet owner who was particularly thirsty this morning. "Ya don't have to, like, stop stoning the water, but maybe you should sell some safe water specifishishily for pets or whatever. You could even make it taste funny to make people not wanna drink it. Like, maybe my bunnies won't try to breathe water anymore."
[effect] moldy cheese water tastes surprisingly alright for a few hours

Option 3: "Listen to this buffoonery-talk of suicidal rodents; it's obvious there is a problem, but not just with the wildlife," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sociologist who's secretly been drinking from pond water that's not been government-approved. "Drugging our water supply is truly despicable, and you bottom feeders must stop it at once! It is hurting our environment, as it is hurting our civilization, and the idea is frankly pond scum. I-" @@HE@@ coughs up a little minnow.
[effect] hyperawareness and paranoia are accompanying the nationwide drug withdrawal

Option 4: "Listen to these dissidents; the drugs clearly aren't powerful enough!" exclaims your Minister of Crowd Control and author of the controversial book Utopia: @@NAME@@ On Steroids. "If anything, we've got to dump MORE into the water supply! So what if a few people start reacting like the animals? It's better than everyone wising up to our plan."
[effect] doctors are having trouble telling an acute appendicitis from an obtuse drug effect

Title: Several Thousand @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Dance Into a Bar
The Issue: Since the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ water supply has been drugged, reports have begun to come out of animals, particularly in cities, having some peculiar side effects, ranging from carelessness and daredevilry to frantically dancing, often to death.
Validity: The water supply is drugged.

Option 1: "You guys are the greatest in every way — especially you, dearest @@LEADER@@ — but this contamination is destroying our environment!" exclaims habitat observer @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping from a completely safe glass of government-approved tap water. "My colleagues and I all witnessed as a school of fish jumped out of the pond and into a frying pan. Of course, I see something like that every day... but still, all of us saw it this time! You have to cut back on the water drugging, especially in rural areas!"
[effect] city dwellers are cynical of the cynical country dwellers

Validity: Pets are legal
Option 2: "Most of us don't notice anything in the wild, since it's, like, mostly weird anyway, but we do care about our pets," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an obsessive pet owner who enjoys waking up to a completely safe glass of government-approved tap water. "Don't do anything to our water, but like, maybe sell some safe water specifically for pets? You could even make it taste funny to make people not want to drink it. Maybe my fish will stop trying to breathe air."
[effect] moldy cheese water tastes surprisingly alright for a few hours

Option 3: "Listen to this buffoonery-talk of suicidal fish; it's obvious there is a problem, but not just with the wildlife," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sociologist who's secretly been drinking from pond water that's not been government-approved. "Drugging our water supply is truly despicable, and you bottom feeders must stop it at once! It is hurting our environment, as it is hurting our civilization, and the idea is frankly pond scum. I-" @@HE@@ coughs up a little minnow.
[effect] hyperawareness and paranoia are accompanying the nationwide drug withdrawal

Option 4: "Listen to these dissidents; the drugs clearly aren't powerful enough!" exclaims your Minister of Crowd Control and author of the controversial book Utopia: @@NAME@@ On Steroids. "If anything, we've got to dump MORE into the water supply! So what if a few people start reacting like the animals? It's better than everyone wising up to our plan."
[effect] doctors are having trouble telling an acute appendicitis from an obtuse drug effect

[Sefy the Great]

as a person who has drugged the water supply, i approve of this. but can we go further into insanity? make the animals able to talk. they gain sentience and demand citizenship. make that A POLICY, NATIONSTATES. WHERE'S MY TALKING ANIMALS THAT CAN OWN BUSINESSES AND VOTE?!

[Trotterdam]

From the title, I thought this was going to be another attempt at an issue for nations which gave @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ citizenship

The Issue: Though the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ water supply has been drugged to keep citizens compliant,

This isn't always the case. Some of the issues for drugging the water supply, such as #284, give different reasons.

[Bears Armed]

WHERE'S MY TALKING ANIMALS THAT CAN OWN BUSINESSES AND VOTE?!

In most nations, they're called Humans...

[Jutsa]

From the title, I thought this was going to be another attempt at an issue for nations which gave @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ citizenship

Dang... know what, that's actually a really nice idea for an issue...

I might just make another draft about that and change the title of this one.

ed: Also, thanks for pointing that out; removed the reason for drugging the water.
ed2: The narrative of the draft did kinda flow around the idea of compliance-drugging, but I hope it still works alright.

[Australian rePublic]

Why is this no big deal for humans?

[Jutsa]

Drugs effect some animals more than others.
Take chocolate, for instance — more specifically, theobromine.
It's a slightly addictive and delectable drug for humans, and absolute poison for dogs.

Of course, option 3 kinda suggests it might be making people wacky too,
and option 4 suggests it could do that in high doses.

Of course, I don't know of any irl drug that'd do this,
but then again I can't think of any nation that purposefully drugs its population either for suppression or constant highs,
or, frankly, how they'd even do that.

[Trotterdam]

[effect] doctors are having trouble telling an acute appendicitis from an obtuse drug effect]

The fact that the doctors are on hallucinogens too would make the diagnosis that much harder

Why is this no big deal for humans?

Really, a bunch of humans are probably having this reaction too. It's just that the eco-hippies don't care about humans and only raise a stink once they notice animals getting affected.

[USS Monitor]

Drugs effect some animals more than others.
Take chocolate, for instance — more specifically, theobromine.
It's a slightly addictive and delectable drug for humans, and absolute poison for dogs.

Or catnip, which makes cats high, but has no effect on humans. Even among cats, some are much more sensitive than others.

[Trotterdam]

I think these examples are forgetting that in this case, the drugs in question do explicitly have a significant effect on humans. That's the point. There might theoretically be an animal that they have an even stronger effect on, but the probability is significantly less and it would actually often be the case that animals see less of an effect than humans. Also, even if the drug does affect animals more strongly, that might not necessarily mean "more of the same" (like a substance that makes humans high just being an outright lethal poison for animals in the same dosage).

[USS Monitor]

I think these examples are forgetting that in this case, the drugs in question do explicitly have a significant effect on humans. That's the point. There might theoretically be an animal that they have an even stronger effect on, but the probability is significantly less and it would actually often be the case that animals see less of an effect than humans. Also, even if the drug does affect animals more strongly, that might not necessarily mean "more of the same" (like a substance that makes humans high just being an outright lethal poison for animals in the same dosage).

It doesn't sound like the effect is just more of the same, at least not for all of the animals affected.

This issue is pushing the limits of how much weirdness is acceptable, though.

[Jutsa]

To be fair, I did go a little crazy with the effects the drugs are having, yeah.
Aside from that, I don't think that that's the crazy part of "animals are having side effects because you drugged the water supply."
Yes, the effect's meant to effect humans, but most drugs do have some sort of effect on other life forms,
hence why plants developed them to begin with.

That said, I'm thinking about it, and just because the water supply for people is drugged doesn't mean nature's reachable, above-ground water reserves are.
It probably would mostly affect pets, come to think of it. I might have to give that a little think...

[USS Monitor]

To be fair, I did go a little crazy with the effects the drugs are having, yeah.
Aside from that, I don't think that that's the crazy part of "animals are having side effects because you drugged the water supply."
Yes, the effect's meant to effect humans, but most drugs do have some sort of effect on other life forms,
hence why plants developed them to begin with.

That said, I'm thinking about it, and just because the water supply for people is drugged doesn't mean nature's water reserves are.
It probably would mostly affect pets, come to think of it. I might have to give that a little think...

It would also affect vermin that live in cities, such as rats/mice.

[Sefy the Great]

To be fair, I did go a little crazy with the effects the drugs are having, yeah.
Aside from that, I don't think that that's the crazy part of "animals are having side effects because you drugged the water supply."
Yes, the effect's meant to effect humans, but most drugs do have some sort of effect on other life forms,
hence why plants developed them to begin with.

That said, I'm thinking about it, and just because the water supply for people is drugged doesn't mean nature's water reserves are.
It probably would mostly affect pets, come to think of it. I might have to give that a little think...

It would also affect vermin that live in cities, such as rats/mice.

the rats drink the water, become smarter and start forming Rat gangs and developing little rifles and firearms to use, becoming a danger to society!

g e n i u s

[Jutsa]

Eh, I already submitted an issue about rats taking over civilization.

Seriously.

Regardless, yeah, I am thinking about regearing this for urban areas,
unless anyone can attest to me not doing so.

As for collecting water from non-drugged sources... well, I might just be making another one for that.

[USS Monitor]

As for collecting water from non-drugged sources... well, I might just be making another one for that.

It'd be pretty simple to do by just digging wells or collecting rainwater, so that would definitely be an issue in a nation that drugs its citizens via the water supply.

[Bears Armed]

To be fair, I did go a little crazy with the effects the drugs are having, yeah.
Aside from that, I don't think that that's the crazy part of "animals are having side effects because you drugged the water supply."
Yes, the effect's meant to effect humans, but most drugs do have some sort of effect on other life forms,
hence why plants developed them to begin with.

That said, I'm thinking about it, and just because the water supply for people is drugged doesn't mean nature's reachable, above-ground water reserves are.
It probably would mostly affect pets, come to think of it. I might have to give that a little think...

'young women who are singing while they do housework find choruses of birds and small mammals joining in their songs'

[USS Monitor]

To be fair, I did go a little crazy with the effects the drugs are having, yeah.
Aside from that, I don't think that that's the crazy part of "animals are having side effects because you drugged the water supply."
Yes, the effect's meant to effect humans, but most drugs do have some sort of effect on other life forms,
hence why plants developed them to begin with.

That said, I'm thinking about it, and just because the water supply for people is drugged doesn't mean nature's reachable, above-ground water reserves are.
It probably would mostly affect pets, come to think of it. I might have to give that a little think...

'young women who are singing while they do housework find choruses of birds and small mammals joining in their songs'

OMG, yes! That needs to happen in this issue.

[Jutsa]

I'ma snitch that for an effect line for my next drugged-water-supply draft — if you don't mind, of course.

I'm bumping this because I changed it a little... and plus it's about due for a bump.
I had a little trouble, and it might still need some work, but hopefully it's in a better, more logical position atm.

[Bears Armed]

I'ma snitch that for an effect line for my next drugged-water-supply draft — if you don't mind, of course.

Sure, go ahead.
^_^

[Sefy the Great]

but hopefully it's in a better, more logical position atm.

*polishes revolver*
please, i beg you, keep realism to a minimum. let your imagination run wild! the end product is more fun that way!

[Jutsa]

Bump!

[Sacara]

Although I like the issue's premise, I'm not a fan of the direct opening in the description. I already know the water has been drugged, you don't need to tell me that. Maybe you should find a more subtle way to do so?

[Jutsa]

Changed it a little. Wasn't entirely happy with the grammar, either,
so hopefully that's also been fixed up.

[Jutsa]

Bump~ Sorry I've not been very attentive of my drafts;
been doing a few other creative projects lately.

I genuinely can not believe it's been almost a month. I swear, 2 months feels like a normal pace for me and 1 month feels fast.

This'll probably be my last bump unless major changes are made.