The Crazybloxian Times [NEWS] • Crazybloxian Empire ONLY

[Crazybloxian Empire]

CHILD STONES GRANDMOTHER OVER VIDEO GAME DISAGREEMENT; GRANDMOTHER RECOVERING IN HOSPITAL
Child, 5 years old, sent to intensive rehabilitation; stones grandmother over disagreement on video games
A child has stoned her grandmother severely in a building in Sunniten over a disagreement on video games. The kid was allegedly in an area with lots of stones, and after the grandmother and child disagreed on what game was allowed, the child allegedly threw 5 stones at the grandmother’s head. The screams were heard by neighbours, who called medics and police.

The police arrived in time and paramedics were sent. The grandmother was rushed to Multea General Hospital immedieately, however brain damage from the rocks were very severe. The grandmother had been diagnosed with serious brain damage, and blood was spilling out from the head.

Other patients whp were discharged today described the situation as “The grandmother crying crazy, shouting “Ouch” lots of times and I saw blood!” said one patient, declining to be named. The grandmother cannot be named as per to the Personal Information Act.

The doctors said to us “Very severe, she needs to stay like 3 years or something. We also had to get blood because of the blood loss resulting from the stone. We are putting her in the Intensive Care Unit to get her safely recovered”. Also according to the doctors, brain surgery would be needed. Health experts have also calculated the mortality rate to be a shocking 96.6%, however is recovering safely.

The child, was sent to Lokalen Mental Health Evaluation and Rehabilitation Center, to go under a 12-year rigorous rehabilitation. The video game store who sold the games to the child, which caused the disagreement has claimed responsibility for the incident, and profusely apologized to the child and grandmother’s family.

The game was titled “Violence Haven”, which some conspiracy theorists said could be because of the game’s violent nature. It featured very bloody scenes, which gained it a 21+ rating. The child allegedly was not of the right age to buy it and the child had bribed a man to buy the game, the court heard.

Investigations are ongoing. For causing horrific hurt to a grandmother, the child could have been jailed for ten years and caned, but the results of the court case were that the child would be sent to rigorous rehabilitation, with 700+ behavior specialists.

The child profusely apologized to the court, and will be taken before the High Council of Hurt on July 21, and hopes to be forgiven. The president has forgiven the child’s actions, in a statement launched on TV by the president at 6:25 am in Crazybloxia, with 853,000 attending, with the venue highly crowded. The intent is currently unknown.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

QUANTUM COMPUTER STORE GAINING MORE PROFITS
In the Global Economics and Trade forum, the Quantum Computer store has recently gained a short boost of profit after orders of quantum computers were sent.

The first buyer was the Pan-Asiatic States, who ordered the TITANTUM computer, the most powerful one for sale on the list.

UniversalCommons however filed a lawsuit, and was later dropped after a successful notice of apology. It was accused of “false advertising”. As of the time this story was released, Shackley had ordered a quantum computer, according to rumours, as the transactions were classified.

”More orders, more profits”, said the Minister of Storefronts, who is in charge of the “storefronts” of the threads.

More news as the situation develops, although more orders are expected by the following months.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

SCIENTISTS IN CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE INVENT MULASICALLIUM ACID; VERY DANGEROUS
Acid acts like it has a PH of -97, 50 quadrillion times stronger than hydroflumonic acid

A new acid was discovered by scientists experimenting with zombie diseases on around 96,000 human test subjects. They mixed the hydrogen with the zombie plague, and to their suprise created an acid. The acid was stored in Teralaxidulayaraskisadafulartapolamloiminuarasadafaitanicasiopoeletrianicisartambrianium, which was currently the strongest metal on the planet, capable of dealing with acidities of PH -12,000.
Atomic makeup of Mulasicallium Acid
The scientists said they would use the acid to drill to the bottom of the earth later on, however it has been postponed due to concerns of hot temperatures, and it’s ability to explode in very hot temperatures, has had it postponed.

We cannot use this fluid for entering the center of the earth, it explodes in very high temperatures, said one of the scientists, named Kalm Mumatei. The government says they will conduct safety tests first.

Additionally, the fluid has a potential of being used in tunnel-digging, in which a Teralaxidulayaraskisadafulartapolamloiminuarasadafaitanicasiopoeletrianicisartambrianium plate would press the acid, solid form into the soil, dissolving it. The soil disappears when it comes into contact with the acid, leaving 1% of the soil. It is taken to a conveyor belt and dumped. This fluid will be used in the future Kalasida Line Tunnel Train Collaborative Project between Siwale and Crazybloxian Empire.

The scientists are currently testing the acid on soil samples, and in the first test, they put the acid liquid form in soil samples, and resulted in a horrific smell, which was harmless. They described it as “poop, mixing with newspaper and being injected into durians and durians coated with poop”. More news will be given as it develops in the oncoming days.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

ROBBERY IN SUNNITEN HOME; THIEVES STEALS 968,000SD WORTH OF MONEY
A robbery in Sunniten has shocked the city, after theives broke into a house in Sunniten at around 1:32am. The house robbed had allegedly no locks, or anything else that would have protected the house.

Police also cordoned off the area, to collect evidence on what was stolen. The owner said that the TV, was gone. He also said that he had 869,000SD, with over 28 currencies.

People approached the area and said “Oh, no!”. During the night, 12 people broke into a house, and began to steal several items. The noise woke up the owner, and silently opened the door, only to see robbers.

He then took out an MP99HL gun and began shooting. 3 out of the 12 theives managed to escape, while the other 9 were dead. He had been able to shoot precisely, however, according to CCTV footage, when they heard gunfire, the theives began to run out of the house, in a panic.

The three thieves managed to run into the nearby forest. Search operations are ongoing, to find them. Over 72,000 helicopters were sent to find the thieves. At 8:28pm on the same day, they were encountered.

They were arrested at 9:17pm by a group of 86 police officers. They were found guilty of theft.

The thieves also hurt the owner’s 2 kids using a wood plank, and hit their buttocks, the court heard. The children are currently recovering in hospital with severe reddening on their buttocks. They were sentenced to 2 years for theft, and grievous hurt.

The three thieves have been ordered to surrender themselves to the Staria Building, to begin serving their sentence at Laasakil Prison, located 4km below the ground, with a 4km hole to allow the prisoners enough exposure to the sun, and be able to gain Vitamin D.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

HEATWAVE FOR EASTERN CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE TODAY

Hotter weather in Crazybloxia will strike again, according to the Weather Measurements and Predictions Council. They have also warned of a possible heatwave in Emera, Sunniten, and Crazybloxia.

The Health Ministry has deployed hundreds of so-called “aquaSquads” into Crazybloxia, and other towns and cities, to distribute water, and other things to allow people to stay cold. Electricity supply has been increased as it would be more likely for people to turn their aircons on, expecting a 76,728 kilowatt increase in energy.

Families have taken the chance to slash their electricity bills by deploying solar panels on the backyards of most houses. Some 12 journalists drove across suburbs, for leisure, and said they found solar panels spamming most of families’ backyards. We interviewed one, and said “We must make more energy, my family use so much energy!”, said a father to us, declining to be named. They also added that a typical family would place about 5-7 solar panels, 4 on average.

So if you did the maths, around 85 million families put these solar panels. So, 4 x 85,000,000 = 340,000,000 solar panels x 265 = 90,100,000,000 watts = 90,100 megawatts. As in this equation, it could produce a lot of electricity.

Heatstroke is expected to increase slightly during the hot period. Aircon has been strengthened across stores, streets, and many other areas. Airjets are expected to begin traversing the city to blow air onto people, to comfort them. Water spraying is expected, with 2 liters to be sprayed per city, with around one drop for every 3 people. Anti-sweat liquid will be sprayed to prevent sweating.

It will be expected to cool down by October 3, meanwhile the western areas of the Empire, inculding the cities of Sampear are expected to cool, which means more people will travel towards the west side.

The government is taking action to allow people to remain updated on the situation and will widen connections by 2 lanes on major highways towards the western side, and will impose tolls until December 3, as experts have concluded and predicted that traffic will increase as more cars take to the highways toward western cities, as people will be desperate to evacuate the heatwave and be able to stay cool.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

PEOPLE TAKE CHANCE TO BURN FLAGS OF THE FORCE REGION UNDER THE EXTREME HEAT OF THE HEATWAVE
Many people took to the streets during the heatwave to burn flags of Force

Many people have taken to the streets to expose the flag of Force to extreme fire, symbolizing racism against Force, on many streets.

Most people had flags of Force before the banjection, although they were not collected by the government when the banjection occured. 9 out of 10 households beared a Force flag before the banjection, and people have wanted to burn them due to their extreme racism, provoked by the banjection for “treason”.

Flag of Force as of July 2018. Many people had burned millions of Force flags during the second day of the heatwave.

Ever since the heatwave in the eastern parts of the Empire, helicopters and people have filled the streets of cities in the eastern parts to drop Force flags onto buildings, which would burn due to extreme heat.

People walking on the streets of the cities with extreme heat were common, with groups of people laying 50-200 Force flags onto the surface for burning.

The government said it would immediately cease production of Force flags. The leftovers would be airdropped over Force using technology, whose blueprints were a secret, according to the government.

Our helicopters fled over the eastern areas of the Empire, with grassfields, backyards, parks, and other patches of empty land were spotted with thousands of Force flags, all laid to burn in the sun.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

PEOPLE READING MORE BOOKS; PAPER DEMAND INCREASES

A sudden surge in book, magazine, and newspaper readership has suddenly surged with The Crazybloxian Times’s readership surging to almost 162 million papers everyday. More printing presses are being required and 85 more are being built to supply enough copies.

Notebook and Paper Co. has announced that 17 new paper mills would be built to cope with the demand. Book companies are reporting higher rates of profit to the Profit Council.

“Bookstores are being undersupplied, cannot buy any books.”, said to us, a person, declining to be named, citing the Personal Information Act. Our journalists said that most of the bookstores were also low on books.

The Crazybloxian Empire plans to begin importing books from Siwale, Pan-Asiatic States, Hong-Kong Empire, Kooplaland, and stop importing from the region of Force, as part of sanctions against Force nations in response to banjection. The book industry was hit with very low paper supplies when the Empire was banjected, as book companies were mostly dependent on Renegallean suppliers for paper, and Notebook and Paper Co, the Empire’s largest paper supplier, relied on Renegallean forestland.

Economists have discussed the possibility of vertical tree farms, to make more paper, and end the undersupply crisis. People are trying to come up with more solutions, however most people said it was hard.

The cost of newspapers are expected to rise to 5 sliding doors per copy in the following months due to undersupply. Trees are being cut down, and forests are now shrinking by 3 trees a month. The Crazybloxian Times will not release a story on 29-31 July, due to paper supply concerns.

This paper shortage has forced over 100 magazines to shut down, resulting in a significant hit to the Crazybloxian Empire’s paper industry. The government says it is desperate to resolve the paper problem due to a sudden increase.

Paper import taxes will be lowered by the government to allow more paper supply to increase, ending the crisis. It is expected to end in 7 months, if enough of this action is taken. The government says it will lower tax to .3%, and is considering fully abolishing paper import tax until the end of the crisis.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

[/align]3 RENEGALLEANS SENTENCED TO 2 HOURS OF BEING MERCILESSLY BEATEN WITH THE CANE

3 Renegalleans have been sentenced to 3,000 strokes of the cane for treason against the government. They allegedly were spying for Renegalle, and were sentenced to 720 strokes of the cane.

They will be caned mercilessly by 12 specially-chosen anti-Renegallean racists, who will cane them 720 times each in three sessions, with the strength of the caners very high. The footage will be aired live on TV.

The racists have been instructed to inflict extreme pain, and the caning is expected to start at 12:15pm GMT +8, no DST. This punishment is usually gave out to Renegalleans for all types of crime, including minor crimes.

The caning session will end at 1:45pm and be conducted in a home environment. They were charged with spying after Crazybloxian officials saw their rooms plastered with Renegallean flags, and found software for spying on their laptops.

Allegedly, in a court hearing, they badly tortured a Crazybloxian, which is considered desecration, and landed them into the merciless caning offence. The noises will be broadcast, and they will be tortured.

Investigations are ongoing. If found guilty of treason, they could have been sentenced to death or caned over 1,500 times, and sentenced to 1 day of torture.[/spoiler]

[Crazybloxian Empire]

READING COMPETITION LAUNCHED AT CRAZYBLOXIAN LIBRARIES

A reading competition has wowed the Crazybloxian Empire, and was launched by the Libraries Council. The competition encouraged people to read, and it worked by allowing contestants to read as many books as possible in a 1-hour period.

These competitions are being held until August 18. The competitions also encourage people to write. These competitions are being held at libraries. The purpose of the competition was to encourage people to read and write.

More people are expected to flock to the libraries to parcitipate. The Libraries Council has deployed portable libraries on the streets of Crazybloxia, Emera, Sunniten, Monitorean, and Sampear. This will be expected to reduce the load of people visiting the libraries.

A 20SD fee will be initiated at select libraries too, to once again decrease crowd size. This will be temporary until August 3, the Libraries Council told The Crazybloxian Times.

The Library Council had held these reading competitions at random dates yearly since 1927, when the Libraries Council was created after the Sampear Library Incident which saw 4,000 books burned by Renegallean insurgents. The Renegallean insurgents have since been eradicated and their members sent back to Renegalle.

The mechanics state that the parcitipants had to be over 18, and was also a memory game as mechanics/rules stated that the readers had to return the book exactly to their proper place after reading.

I released this story late because I had a lot of real-life stuff to do. Sorry for late publishing! And also no stories tomorrow I’m sorry.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

3 MEN ARRESTED FOR TAKING BAD PHOTOS OF GIRLS IN SHOWERS

3 men were arrested today and given 25 years’ jail for insult of woman’s rights at the Supreme Court. They allegedly took bad photos of girls in showers. The court heard that they targeted flats at Siwale St and the Caplar District.

They had met together in person after bumping into each other in 2007, according to the court. After bumping into each other, they decided to make friends. They had committed the offence in 2012, 2013, and 2016.

The 3 men were arrested at Siwale St. in block 86 at 2:18pm. The police seized 12 USB sticks storing 1TB each, and found 85,139 obscene films, and over 281,432 uncertified films. They were charged with 85,139 counts of insult of women rights, and given 25 years jail.

According to a family member of one of the victims, they began to film the girl showering in Block 95 at the fifth floor, and the men had managed to enter by climbing into a window, the court heard. 6 minutes later when the woman spotted the camera she then proceeded to put on her clothes back and rushed to lodge a police report.

Since the three men were Renegalleans, they were also sentenced to 17,000 strokes of the cane in a merciless environment described in Section 5 of the Crazybloxian Penal Code. Pain stimulation gas will be released and they will be caned by 3 racists in a home environment.

Further investigations are ongoing, and the police has advised the public to report suspicious behavior that could signify the risk of taking bad photos. They include, trying to remain anonymous, and more.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

GUILLOTINE PRODUCTION INCREASES IN CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE

The production of guillotines in the Crazybloxian Empire has seen a 23% increase with 374,000 guillotines being produced each year. Guillotine production hit it’s highest low during the Force Banjection, due to lack of wood.

Toy guillotines had found itself in many children’s homes, and choking hazard incidents are rising to 188,512, due to small parts. The guillotines manufactured every year was 27,000,000, and economists are discussing the possibilities of increasing production.

Guillotines were first manufactured in 1027 A.D. when the Republic of Tribal Unity, now known as the Crazybloxian Empire adopted capital punishment.

Guillotines will be used significantly at a higher rate as the execution of Renegalleans increase over the years due to increased racism.

Many people now own a guillotine at home with 8 out of 10 admitting to owning one. Guillotine competitions are regularly held in which as many people have to be executed as possible. Renegalleans are also mainly executed.

The guillotine industry has seen high skyrockets in 1972, at the height of the First Crazybloxian-Renegallean war. The Second Crazybloxian-Renegallean war is ongoing as of 2 August, when this story was released. The industry will see high skyrockets as 271 million Renegalleans will be executed in this decade (ooc: decade is RP), but torture is the preferred method of execution, with an estimated 284 million Renegalleans killed using that method each decade.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

BREAKTHROUGH IN SECOND CRAZYBLOXIAN-RENEGALLEAN WAR
2 cities and 7 towns have been captured by the Crazybloxian Army after tense fighting in the sealand areas surrounding Renegalle. The war was called the Second Crazybloxian-Renegallean war, which got it’s name as it was the second from the First Renegallean-Crazybloxian war. 7 million soldiers were sent onto Renegallean shores.

Soldiers marching further into Renegallean territory have captured 74.2 million hostages. 48.2 million were sent to torture camps for torturing. The soldiers will be ordered to advance towards the Galle Merciless Prison and up the torture occuring there.

The Empire plans to send 27 million troops and 198,000 tanks to invade Renegalle and the General has ordered to stop halfway of the invasion to weaken Renegalle. Justification for the Empire’s sudden attack was revenge for the Force Banjection, although experts worry a peace treaty could be signed as late as 2042 (OOC time: January 2020).

According to the president at a speech in Britannica, Renegalle had betrayed the Empire after the banjection that rocked the nation. The Empire had vowed revenge by war and torture in the war and have ransom kidnapped 63,174 Renegalleans including 8,134 children.

Air-bombs invented by Notebook and Paper Co. are expected to be used as a last resort, in case of loss of the war. 7 nukes will be fired at Reigno, the capital of Renegalle in an attempt to assasinate it’s leader.

War experts have collaborated with hundreds of Crazybloxian officials to develop new war strategies, and the Empire has decided on blitzkrieg war, in which the main focus of the war would be the speed of advancement, not deadliness.

If successful, experts say the war could be won by 2037 (OOC: December 2019) on full blitzkrieg due to mountainous terrain encountered by Crazybloxian tanks. 92,000 aircraft have began to bomb Renegalle’s major cities.

The general had ordered every soldier to torture as many Renegalleans as possible using the Heatwheel, which were brought in by the army, and also use punji sticks. Punji sticks are currently being deployed near Reigno by Crazybloxian spies, and the army will stage terrorism tactics by launching a surprise attack at Reigno.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

THE CRAZYBLOXIAN TIMES CIRCULATION SKYROCKETS ABOVE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS

The circulation numbers for The Crazybloxian Times has surpassed The Northern Lights in copies sold today with over 27,000,000 copies sold today. The Crazybloxian Times’ circulation began to skyrocket and surpassed The Force Flyer in 2016.

The Empire has had another mention in the recent The Force Flyer issue documenting the controversy of the prime minister election of July.

News coverage between The Northern Light and The Crazybloxian Times was very different with The Crazybloxian Times delivering intensive coverage of the news, and has currently 260 journalists.

Many people had hailed the newspaper as “reliable, and easy to read”. This has been a breakthrough for the Empire as it plans to up the print circulation to reach 252,000,000 people.

The Informative Assembly has considered not OOCly printing on public holidays with many journalists willing to rest on public holidays.

That decision is currently under planning by the Decision Council, which takes charge of the Crazybloxian Empire’s official decisions during situations.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

LONG LIVE INUKA |

THE EMPIRE’S LEADING SOURCE OF NEWS

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CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE APPLIES SANCTIONS ON RENEGALLE

The Empire, in heated response to the Force Banjection, has decided to apply heavy economic and military sanctions, and plans to conduct a gigantic manoeuvre using 2200 frigates, 5000 patrol boats, 2750 warships and 1,600 fighter jets on Renegallean coastal cities.

The sanctions have now completely banned the trade of materials between the two nations. Severe punishment has been applied by the government to ensure no black market trade.

Black market transportation of goods between Crazybloxian Empire and Renegalle were approximated to be at around 96 billion sliding doors, due to trade cuts between the two nations.

“Trade will be hard these days after the Force banjection rocked our nation”, said a trader for Notebook and Paper Co. declining to be named. The trader only wanted to be identified as “The NPC Trader”. The CEOs of companies have had diffrent opinions. "In fact if we can’t trade we can surely trade with Siwale", said an official, named Klerieuke Sepredi, the boss of the “85th Worker Division” of Grantarium Inc, a company that constructs aqauriums. He also added that glass will be scarce as it would have to be locally produced.

Many experts have been worried about the effects of the sanctions on trade in the Empire, with some proposing to start trading with Siwale. The government of the Crazybloxian Empire has attempted to reach Siwale’s trade minister to trade, however there were many failed attempts. The Empire has hoped to begin trading with Siwale by 2024 (OOC: August 17, 2018). The items that have been planned for trading were most notably paper, solar panels, steel, pork, rubber, and inks.

The government plans to also trade with many other countries in The North Pacific by 2019 (OOC: August 12 2018) and the top targets for trade are currently Guslantis, Pallaith, and Hong Kong Empire.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

STUDY RATES IN THE EMPIRE DECLINING

People have begun to study lesser and lesser due to rising gadget addiction, said the Board of Education on Monday. It has began to launch incentive programmes for studying.

Restrictions and rules will be tightened by the Board of Education to ensure the continued strict enforcement of studying. This was called “significant of an increase”, due to Crazybloxian students only recieving minor punishments while Renegallean schoolchildren studing in the Empire usually get harsher punishments.

“This problem is due to phone addiction”, said someone, who declined to be named. The decrease in studying has caused 4 schools to close down due to a lack of attendance. Phone addiction has “ravaged the country”, said a person who wanted to only be identified as “A790”.

Phone addicted people on average spend 8-12 hours on their phones a day. The government has reported rates of depression skyrocketing significantly. A helpline will be set up to allow addicts to obtain counselling.

If successful, phone addiction rates could plummet significantly, as more researchers partner together to research addiction further using their existing knowledge of a hormone called “dopamine”.

Around 86,000 researchers will take place in the addiction research. They also said they will experiment on two-thousand Renegalleans put in a traditional home environment with a phone. Their brains will be monitored and in all of them, a dopamine sensor will monitor the ammount of dopamine sent.

More action is being done.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

ICHIBAN BURGER OFFICIALY OPENS IN EMPIRE; NEW TASTES AWAIT

the long read | 11 paragraphs

The Empire has sent an application to the Democratic Republic of Gandoor to open Ichiban Burger restaurants. Cheer spread across the city of Britannica as the first locations were opened.

People suddenly flocked into Ichiban Burger restaurants after the official opening. Lines of aprroximately 800 people developed in the first store located in the city of Britannica. Encyclopaedia stores have still managed to attract people even during the Ichiban Rush.

The term “Ichiban Rush” was coined to represent the rush of people racing to eat Ichiban Burger. The Gandoorese flag was fled across the Empire by many people also during the day of opening.

This is expected to increase tourism from other countries who wish to eat at Ichiban Burger. Economic activity in F&D will skyrocket by an approximated rate of 85% by the Crazybloxian Business Researchers’ League.

Anti-Renegalle measures will not be planted by the government due to Ichiban Burger’s strong stance against discrimination, but Anti-Renegalle flyers will be distributed outside Ichiban Burger restaurants under law. Discrimination will only be illegal in Ichiban Burger restaurants and the punishment will only be a fine, but can be prison if the said group insulted were Siwallians, etc. A full list of these ethnic groups are found in the Racism Act and law also dictates that discrimination of Renegalleans is mandatory under the Condemn Renegalle Act. Discrimination of Renegalleans will be voluntary inside the Ichiban Burger restaurants.

A picture of Ichiban Burger’s hamburger. PHOTO: ICHIBAN BURGER

71,000 locations were opened and around 447 million people are expected to eat at Ichiban Burger in the first 2 years of it’s official opening. Famous blogger Tradezh Hulfr wrote in a blog post about the new Ichiban Burger restaurants, describing the taste.

The food was kinda tasty and tasted like Ramen, who knows.

The entry of Ichiban Burger into Crazybloxian Empire could make the F&D industry worth 27 trillion SD, economists say. Obesity rates could increase by 29%, and so the Empire has ordered Ichiban Burger to refrain from adding more than 15 grams of sugar into their food.

Everytime Ichiban Burger violated the rule, the government would close down one store. Ichiban Burger’s meat suppliers will also be put under strict surveillance to ensure no animal cruelty takes place, as animal cruelty is prohibited as part of the Empire’s commitment to humane slaughter of animals.

The malls where Ichiban Burger restaurants will be located will be expected to have a 200 square meter “queue room” which will be accessed by a sliding door. It will be expected to be able to house 12,000 queuing people considering it will be two floors high.

The queue room begins with a staircase going straight up, with the option to use a ladder for playful children, and then snaking through each floor, and ending through a door that leads into the Ichiban burger queue.

Each store will have 50 waiters, 86 tables with 281 chairs, 175 cooking personnel, and 28 order takers on average which means around 17.9 million staff will be required. As indicated in the request available in the Ichiban Burger storefront there would have to be at least 3 ethnic Siwallian workers at every store dictated that 5.9 million Siwallians would be required, resulting in the creation of 17.9 million jobs. There are not enough ethnic Siwallians however as the Siwallian community in Crazybloxian Empire is 4.92 million strong, and only grows by one million every 7 months.

The projected ethnic makeup of the workers are 42% Siwallian, 52% Crazybloxian, and 8% Renegalleans, while the salary will be equal amongst the three ethnic groups most expected to recieve a job will be 2,000SD for full time and 15SD per hour for part-timers.



OOC: This story is indeed the most intensive coverage we’ve delivered.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

ROCKET TESTING IN CHAMBRASIA TESTING AREA WOWS HIGH-RANKING MILITARY OFFICERS
New anti-ballistic missiles were developed and tested in the Chambrasia testing area. Scientists have managed to produce missiles capable of destroying ballistic missiles over 1,350km away. Invisible nukes can also be detected by the missile.

The missile was nicknamed by the scientists as “The Missaile” for being able to land on navy ships. Each missile costed 52,000SD and is to be patented by 2023.

The development of the missile began in 1971 after better ballistic missiles were required due to a nuclear crisis with Renegalle, in which the Empire threathened to shoot over 74,000 nuclear missiles on strategic Renegallean points.

Declassification of the project occured in 2007 to seek help from military experts due to the difficulty of developing such missile.

Military experts predict the missile to be ready by 2038 and will allow the aversion of nuclear weapon disasters to keep the Empire safe.

Further plans for quicker missiles are being considered.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

the important read | the crazybloxian times

CIVIL WAR BREAKS OUT ACROSS CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE
Intense tensions with the SRF (Stop ReneDiscimination), a group aiming to allow Renegalleans more rights, and the WPSF (Wikipedia Support Front), aiming to shut down the CVWPU (Crazybloxian Vandalize Wikipedia Unit), has plunged the nation in a civil war.

The government will organize 2,175,000 soldiers, 8,750 tanks, 200,000 naval units, 1,271 frigates and around 232 fighter jets to fight the WPSF and SRF.

A massive crackdown operation across Crazybloxian Empire’s major cities is being planned by the Decision Council and plans to evict 296,200 Renegalleans if necessary. The crackdown is expected to catch hundreds of spies.

Military experts and companies are intensifying design and production operations to well-supply the army in the battle. A state of calamity has been raised throughout the Crazybloxian Empire.

Tents will be built on the sea to evacuate as evacuation begins from the city of Grabadskia due to a possible invasion by the WPSF. The SRD is expected to be pushed back by July 21, 2047.

The rising casualties have reached 2,500 soldiers and 29,500 civillians. The Empire is currently devising plans to defeat the SRD and WPSF.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

LOANSHARKS CAUGHT IN THE ACT NATIONWIDE
182 loanshark groups comprised of around 82,273 were caught in the city of Britannica, Evidensya, and many other cities today when they were vandalizing the property of their victims, and were arrested.

Loansharks are persons who charge extremely high interest rates and offer loans claiming to be “quick and easy”. Loansharking cases are rare with only 2,263 cases this year.

The police made a big find with 82,273 being the highest number of people ever caught red-handed or while committing their crime. This number was almost surpassed in 2003 when they caught 81,728 people being involved in vice within a one day operation.

Over 26 million people had potentially been saved from deep debt, and all victims were given financial support including a stimulus of 2 million sliding doors.

The police advised people to avoid loansharks and be vigilant. The police is currently conducting an investigation. A hacker group working in collaboration with the police shut down all of the official websites of the loansharks, which were located on the dark web.

The dark web is a special part of the internet, only accessible via special software. It also cannot be indexed by search engines due to the illegal info contained in them and their encryption being too hard to crack.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE TESTS EARTHQUAKE WEAPON
An earthquake at 9.99999993 on the Richter Scale occured. It was man-made and invented by Crazybloxian Empire scientists. The earthquake weapon was launched through a regional portal, and was taken to Renegallean territory and 18 earthquakes were today launched at Reigno.

The weapon uses missiles that are fired into areas, creating mini-tectonic plates, possibly causing collateral damage. Due to risk of extreme collateral damage, rocksaws invented in 2027 are mass-used to cut out tectonic plates. The missiles will only be fired into tectonic plates.

Each missile has the ability to cause 80 earthquakes in a single area, although there is an LCD screen which can be adjusted by the staff to determine how many earthquakes will occur. This has led to the creation of the Motel Scale, with “mot” standing for “motus”, Latin for “earthquake”, and “el”, for “telus”, Latin for “weapon”.

The Motel Scale measures earthquakes by casualties,and the missile could cause earthquakes gaining 27 million. An article is available about the Motel Scale on NSindex.

The scientists are planning to develop better weapons and they plan to weaponize the Sun by 2086 (IC). Landmines are also expected to be nuclearized by the scientists by 2052.

Punji sticks will also be weaponized and designed to stab through the legs and each punji stick will be ricin-laced.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

PEOPLE THROW ITEMS FROM TOWER - OBJECT KILLS THREE
Around 27 people were caught on camera on a tower throwing over 275 objects in 25 minutes at approximately 3:27pm. One of the objects fell onto a person’s head, resulting in three deaths. One of the allegedly thrown items were a television, ballpen, notebooks, and an aircon.

The 16 people who threw the items leading to the deaths were charged with murder and given 3 years, instead of 12 years, as they were given 2 counts of honesty which could reduce sentences and even completely to only fines. They recieved 2 counts of honesty for paying funeral costs and pleading guilty before the trial had even started.

The lengthiest sentence that could be eligible for the offenders was life in prison. The other 11 people were slapped with 3 months in jail for mischief and forced to pay 20 percent of the funeral costs. Since three of them were Renegalleans, the three Renegalleans were sentenced to 12,000 strokes of the cane in a merciless environment, being caned by 18 racists.

Two of them were Siwallian nationals, and under Crazybloxian law, Siwalians may not be given harsh punishment. They were given a fine of 720SD and under law, the maximum sentence that can be given to Siwallians is a fine of 328,000SD or 9 months in jail.

According to the building management, there were not enough safeguards put in place to prevent it occuring in the first place. The builders are considering a full glass wall to prevent more objects from being thrown. People were in shock at the 16th floor of the building in the restaurant when they heard items being thrown down from the flat.

The extra safeguards will include full glass walls, a fence, or vice versa. The building is considering only allowing the outside roof area of the building to only be seen by camera. Funerals for the three people who died will be free as the government will pay the costs. Many people have paid condolences to them on social media.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

POLICE HACK INTO ADMINISTRATORS’ ACCOUNTS IN DARK WEB PAEDOPHILE FORUMS
The police have made a “big move” today in the fight against paedophiles after hacking into 26 administrator accounts on many paedophile web forums. Paedophile web forums are places where people share illegal pornography.

One of the police hacked into a dark web paedophile forum called Kiddie Playtime, where they hacked into an administrator account known by other users on the site as “Kolor”. The site had 275,000 users, potentially allowing the police to take down a massive paedophile ring.

The owners of the administrator accounts have been arrested and jailed. The police plan to run the site for an additional week to catch more paedophiles. On one of the administrator accounts’ computers, they found 276,256 pictures in jpg format, with illegal pornography. The pictures were erased.

On the Kiddie Playtime forum, the users must upload content every 25 days or risk getting kicked out. The forum was discovered by accident when an unnamed person was browsing the Dark Web, and found the forum. The police also said that the aforementioned unnamed person ran to the Entrasiwale Police Station on Siwale St, in the city of Britannica.

Many people have condemned the pornographers, with the Kiddie Rights League organizing a massive photo-desecrating event, where they desecrated pictures of child pornography.

This was last organized in 2041, with the anti-child porn movement growing “like a weed”, with the government’s commitment to eliminating pornography. Pornography website traffic reached it’s highest low in 2041, with only 62 people visiting in one week.

Parental control programs have played a role in reducing traffic of pornography sites, with the government declaring a war on pornography in 2007 due to rising addiction rates. 40 years on, pornography website visits have plummeted to the thousands, thanks to the government’s intensive efforts to rehabilitate porn addicts, and meticulous planning to arrest pornographers, and shut down pornography sites. Porn site █████.com was officially shut down in 2037.


OOC: I will not explicitly mention what this story is all about in the story because child porn is definitely illegal, and One of the porn sites I mentioned had it’s name redacted to keep it compliant with NationStates rules.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

MISS NATIONSTATES FORMED BY GOVERNMENT
The government has officially formed Miss NationStates, a monthly beauty pageant. 57 parcitipants are expected to join the first pageant, which will be OOCly held on August 21, from 3:30-4:15PM GMT +8.

A sign-up thread is being created by the government now. Many people have endorsed the formation, with around 68,350 signups in the first hour. Staff hired were, most notably Embradie Groetu, the 2nd cousin of the president.

Position of Embradie Groetu in family | PHOTO: FAMILY COUNCIL

Embradie Groetu was officially assigned Minister of Beauty, in charge of the Miss NationStates beauty pageant. The logo for Miss NationStates, which will be abbreviated “MsNS”.

MsNS will also be an international pageant, with nations of Force banned due to diplomatic reasons.

Around 25 nations are expected to gather at the MsNS beauty pageant, and could OOCly become the NS world’s largest beauty pageant, growing larger than the real-life Miss Universe in number of nations.

Currently, judges are being picked.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

COMIC BOOK POPULARITY INCREASING - MANGA POPULARITY DECLINING
The popularity of comic books have reached an all time high, with 274.5 billion sliding doors in sales reported by the largest paper supplier, Notebook and Paper Co.

New printing presses will be built to catch up with the demand for more books, and scientists plan to create the fastest wheel for use in printing presses that would be able to print 25 million copies a minute. The wheel will be expected to finish by 2062.

Paper consumption is rising, and the increasing popularity of comic books could skyrocket Crazybloxian Empire’s paper consumption. 228.8 billion rolls of paper are used every year, enough to make around 2.6 trillion pages of A4 paper. The printing wheel will be used in printing The Crazybloxian Times.

Comic books will be priced at higher prices while the government adapts to a larger demand for paper due to increasing comic book popularity. Comic books will still be available online.

Around 67,250 comic ideas are put into action every year by the estimated 565,252 artists living in Crazybloxian Empire, according to the Comic and Artists’ League.

The construction of new printing plants will finish in around 5-12 years, as the government desperately struggles to modernize the Empire’s printing infastructure.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

NEW SATELITE LAUNCHED TO SPY ON TINHAMPTON
After a condemnation made by Tinhampton against the government, the government has begun launching a satellite to spy on Tinhampton.

Tensions have heated up minorly, and tensions between Tinhampton and the Empire could plunge the Empire into another armed military conflict. It has been dealing with the WPSF and SRF however the three sides are in ceasefire.

Tinhamptonian rebels have been protesting on Crazybloxian Empire’s streets, due to the condemnation. Siwale St. was stuck in a horrible traffic jam, even worse than the previous jam stretching from Emera to Sunniten in the pre-Force banjection era.

Siwale St. became a mini-economy as people were impatient, and went for walks, and sold food, noodles, and weirdly, Siwale flags, boarding up Siwale St. even further.

Meanwhile, the sattelite will be launched on August 25 (OOC) to enter Tinhamptonian airspace, and spy on important missions, such as nuclear programs, and also plans to use the Underground Force are being considered.

Authorities have tried to stop the traffic jam on Siwale St. by increasing tolls, and ensuring no cars got on Siwale St, until the road traffic was under control.