[ACCEPTED; #1077] - With Friends Like These...

[Sacara]

This issue was accepted and renamed "With Friends Like These". Editing was done by Candlewhisper Archive.

Name: With Friends Like These
Issue: Your niece raised quite the stink earlier this week after a popular television network aired a rerun of the series "Enemies", a show packed with offensive humor which ran almost twenty-five years ago.
Validity: has television, medium to high inclusiveness, no state run media

[Option 1] My eyes!" screeches your niece, obviously distressed and trembling with shock. "How did anyone ever find this funny? It's just sick, absolutely sick. Like that one episode when they pejoratively used the appellation 'gay' to describe someone who was being emotionally vulnerable? Disgusting! You've got to ban re-runs of bigoted shows like this once and for all, so no one else will have to endure these offensive horrors!"
[effect] television characters who ask how someone's doing will be charged with harassment

[Option 2] "Hey, what’s the dealo?" questions Ross @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, one of the stars of the show in question. "The show's a classic, man. I mean, you couldn’t get away with saying half the stuff that we did, but you'd be destroying a national masterpiece. We need to keep this to teach people what @@NAME@@ use to be like. Keep the history, man, don't ever be censoring entertainment!"
[effect] rant-filled slur-packed stereotype-fest 'Hate Thy Neighbor' has been revived

[Option 3] "Heh, have I got a solution for you?" mutters your bored looking Minister of Propaganda twiddling @@HIS@@ thumbs absent-mindedly. "My ministry will personally take control of producing content that will both be inoffensive and pro-government. While we're at it, give us control of news media too. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical."
[effect] every network seemingly has a fascination for @@LEADER@@

[Option 4]"For Violet's sake, the average @@DEMONYM@@ has gotten far too soft," comments one of your brothers, looking at your niece with disgust. "We need to educate them to have thicker skin and take a joke or two, no matter how crude. How about we add a class or two in our education system that'll teach 'em how to handle some humor?"
[effect] everyone’s a comedian

Name: Makes For Good Television
Issue: Your niece raised quite the stink this week after she was introduced to the former hit show “Enemies”, television series containing much offensive humor, which ran almost twenty-five years ago.
Validity: has television, medium to high inclusiveness

[Option 1] “My eyes!” screeches your niece, obviously distressed and entirely over-reacting. “How did any find this funny? Just sick, absolutely sick. Like that one episode when they called someone gay? Disgusting! You’ve got to get rid of this show once and for good, so no one else will have to go through the horrors that I did!"
[effect] Rapunzel has been banned for offending bald people

[Option 2] “Hey, what’s the dealo?” questions Ross @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, one of the stars of the show in question. “The show’s a classic, man. I mean, you couldn’t get away with saying half the stuff that we did, but you’d be destroying a national masterpiece. You'd be rewriting history! Let it continue, man, for the good of the people!"
[effect] the airways are filled with offensive jokes

does not have state-run media
[Option 3] “Heh, have I got a solution for you,” absently mutters your bored looking Minister of Propaganda, while twiddling @@HIS@@ thumbs. “My ministry will personally approve of list of acceptable shows to air that won’t offend anyone. Give us full discretion and this will be swept under the metaphorical rug!"
[effect] primetime television just isn’t what it use to be

[Option 4] “For Violet’s sale, the average @@DEMONYM@@ has gotten far too soft,” comments one of your brothers, looking at your niece with disgust. “We need to educate them to have thicker skin and take a joke or too, no matter how crude Learning how to take a joke should be a requirement to diploma.”
[effect] everyone’s a comedian

[Chan Island]

A great issue idea -I wish id come up with it- but I could see this being used a slight bit better. For example, surely the show could be considered educational, for history lessons.

I like the fact that the neice objects to the use of "gay" as an insult, but really do think this could be taken further. One of collegehumors best skits was one where they had the characters think of a prank to do; specifically pranks inspired off movies and TV shows popular in the 1980s... only to find that legally they are all rape. Then there is that Bill Cosby show episode where Cosby puts drugs into his BBQs turning his Barbies into orgies.... enough said.

The premise I'd change to be that the show was rerun on a poplar tv channel, only to offend the younger generation. That way the debate would focus on the airing rather than if it should exist at all. The current feels like she discovered the show on Netflix and wasn't happy with it.

Also, grammar. I know you're good at this, so I'm sure you'll find the errors with a good proofreading.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Hmm.

I basically love it.

[Australian rePublic]

Why is the issue of a leader, as oppose to the head of the network

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Very good issue, Sacara!

Name: Makes For Good Television
Issue: Your niece raised quite the stink this week after she was introduced to the former hit show “Enemies”, television series containing much offensive humor, which ran almost twenty-five years ago.
Validity: has television, medium to high inclusiveness

[Option 1] “My eyes!” screeches your niece, obviously distressed and entirely over-reacting. “How did any find this funny? Just sick, absolutely sick. Like that one episode when they called someone gay? Disgusting! You’ve got to get rid of this show once and for good, so no one else will have to go through the horrors that I did!"
[effect] Rapunzel has been banned for offending bald people

Hmm... should you say that she is over-reacting? Sure, she IS, but maybe it would be better if the "narrator's voice" remained impartial here. Maybe you should say something else that shows that she is overreacting, without explicitly taking sides, like: "obviously distressed and trembling with shock" or something along those lines. (Yeah, I know, nitpicky comment.)

does not have state-run media
[Option 3] “Heh, have I got a solution for you,” absently mutters your bored looking Minister of Propaganda, while twiddling @@HIS@@ thumbs. “My ministry will personally approve of list of acceptable shows to air that won’t offend anyone. Give us full discretion and this will be swept under the metaphorical rug!"
[effect] primetime television just isn’t what it use to be

I think the part in bold needs to be rephrased. Maybe "make (or publish) a list of approved (or acceptable) shows."

Minor typo in the effect line (i.e. "used to be"), but you could think about finding a funnier effect line as well.

[Option 4] “For Violet’s sale, the average @@DEMONYM@@ has gotten far too soft,” comments one of your brothers, looking at your niece with disgust. “We need to educate them to have thicker skin and take a joke or too, no matter how crude Learning how to take a joke should be a requirement to diploma.”
[effect] everyone’s a comedian[/box]

Period after crude

Also, should that really be a requirement for getting a diploma? I see you want to say something more than "let's leave things as they are" but it's hard to see the relevance of getting a diploma to taking offensive jokes. Maybe you could tone it down and say that "humor classes" should be included in the national curriculum, and the classes should comprise a chapter on racist & sexist jokes, etc.?

[The Marsupial Illuminati]

Yes, yes, I like this draft.

Your effect lines need more punch, though.

[Hediacrana]

As an alternative effect for option 3, maybe offensive videos on the internet grow in popularity?

[Sacara]

A great issue idea -I wish id come up with it- but I could see this being used a slight bit better. For example, surely the show could be considered educational, for history lessons.

...

Also, grammar. I know you're good at this, so I'm sure you'll find the errors with a good proofreading.

Hopefully it's clear this was based off of the former television show "Friends", lol. And I'll go over it with a fine-tooth comb when I post the second draft as for the grammar.

Hmm.

I basically love it.

Thank you!

Why is the issue of a leader, as oppose to the head of the network

This seems like an issue that a leader can weigh in upon whether to prohibit or not.

-snip-

Thanks for the feedback. Will implement the things you mention later.

Yes, yes, I like this draft.

Your effect lines need more punch, though.

That's always the case for me.

As an alternative effect for option 3, maybe offensive videos on the internet grow in popularity?

I don't follow?

Overall, thanks everyone for the feedback, and I will release the next draft either late tonight or tomorrow sometime.

[Sacara]

Draft #2 is up. Reworked some things, nothing extremely major changed. Need help with option three's effect line.

[The Free Joy State]

This is a great premise.

I really feel like you need some more bite to your satire, especially in effect lines. But this is shaping up to be a really good draft.

[Hediacrana]

As an alternative effect for option 3, maybe offensive videos on the internet grow in popularity?

I don't follow?

Oops, sorry, looks I somehow missed your question there. My thinking for option 3 was you could go with something along the lines of 'people have turned to the internet for anything deemed too offensive for television.' Yeah, I know, probably needs more work...

[Chan Island]

My concerns revolve around option 1. For a start, if the niece is overreacting, why is the leader of the nation then going to agree with her? I feel this judgement shouldn't be passed onto the speaker. Show, don't tell. Describe a giant overreaction without passing any commentary on it.

Also, in option 1 it's "anybody".

[Sacara]

I really feel like you need some more bite to your satire, especially in effect lines. But this is shaping up to be a really good draft.

Effect lines are always my problem. I would love input from the community on different effect lines. I'm only really attached to option four's.

[The Free Joy State]

I really feel like you need some more bite to your satire, especially in effect lines. But this is shaping up to be a really good draft.

Effect lines are always my problem. I would love input from the community on different effect lines. I'm only really attached to option four's.

How about a Friends ref for number 1's effect line?

TV characters who ask how someone's doing must be charged with harassment

For #2, perhaps something about even more offensive shows coming back. Just off the top of my head:

yesteryear's favourite shockingly sexist sitcom 'You Ain't Half a Halfwit, Mum' has returned to startled silence

rant-filled slur-packed stereotype-fest 'Hate Thy Neighbour' has been revived

I can't think of anything for #3. But perhaps something about how homogenous it would be if the Minister of Propaganda had full control.

I also suggest that you show the niece overreacting, rather than say she's overreacting. It's a slight bias against her point to describe her like that.

Anyway, these are just my suggestions, to take or leave as you wish. Someone else could well have better ones.

[Sacara]

-snip-

Implemented suggestions. Thanks.

I still am trying to think of one for option three, however.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Why would the Ministry of Propaganda prepare the list of acceptable shows? Is the joke that they will only approve of shows that praise @@LEADER@@? If not, maybe the speaker should be the Minister of Propriety, or something like that.

[Hediacrana]

Still trying to come up with effect lines for option 3... Maybe something like "'@@leader@@'s Greatest Achievements" and "Yule Log" are the only shows on @@adjective@@ television"?

[Sacara]

Why would the Ministry of Propaganda prepare the list of acceptable shows? Is the joke that they will only approve of shows that praise @@LEADER@@? If not, maybe the speaker should be the Minister of Propriety, or something like that.

Yep. I need to reflect that in the effect line somehow.

Still trying to come up with effect lines for option 3... Maybe something like "'@@leader@@'s Greatest Achievements" and "Yule Log" are the only shows on @@adjective@@ television"?

Hmm

[Franceburg]

Maybe the effect of the third option could be the media gets totally controlled by the government, and only propaganda TV shows are broadcasted

[Sacara]

Maybe the effect of the third option could be the media gets totally controlled by the government, and only propaganda TV shows are broadcasted

That's a little too on the nose. Thanks, though.

EDIT: I have an effect line, now. Not sure. Let me know what you guys think/suggestions for a new one.

[Sacara]

I’d enjoy more feedback on this one.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Basically still really love it.

So here's something that amuses me. No lyric changes are required for the theme tune of Friends to work for a comedy show called Enemies.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke
Your love life's D.O.A
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
You're still in bed at ten
And work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast, so far
Things are going great
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees and
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you're the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I'm best with you, yeah
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)

[Sacara]

Basically still really love it.

So here's something that amuses me. No lyric changes are required for the theme tune of Friends to work for a comedy show called Enemies.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke
Your love life's D.O.A
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
You're still in bed at ten
And work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast, so far
Things are going great
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees and
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you're the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I'm best with you, yeah
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)

Thanks! And lol.

I'll probably leave this up for another day or so, depending on feedback.

[Sacara]

Last call.

[Sacara]

Thanks to everyone who helped me on this!

It has been officially submitted.