Regal Post · Bills set to „tumble” in electricty shake-up

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:24 am

FRIDAY · MAY 19 MMXXIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

BILLS SET TO „TUMBLE” IN ELECTRICITY SHAKE-UP

BILLS for electricity are predicted to reduce by almost a third for many households under the Government’s plans to reform the electricity industry. Under the proposal announced yesterday in Court by the King’s Clerk, Sir Aaron Billings, a new Coal, Electricity and Gas Board will replace the existing Coal and Gas Board with enhanced regulatory powers to encourage fairer competition between merchants.

Electricity supply, like gas and water, is reliant on expensive fixed-line infrastructure which embeds a natural effective monopoly in many towns. Sir Aaron said that existing laws which prevented abuse of local monopolies „were not working as effectively as intended” as the adoption of electric light gathers pace.

While coal and briquette prices have generally remained stable over the last decade, the rapid increase in electricity mills has holpen to expand electricity service to more than 2,000 villages across the nation. However, increased reliance on electric light has underscored the highly fragmented nature of electricity supply in this country.

The new Board will have powers to investigate prices for electricity and where necessary to amerce merchants for overcharging disproportionate to actual costs. „There should be no reason why the householder in Clerkinweld should be paying more than 4d per standard globe hour when the householder in Lendert pays only only ¾d per standard globe hour.”

Sir Aaron announced that the new Board would also investigate means whereby a national or regional electricity grid could be established in the near future, although he emphasised that the Government’s policy was still to facilitate a network of local generating mills and suppliers over any large-scale power plants.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:25 am

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DEVERNIA LAUNCHES ‘UPDATENORTAIN’ PROGRAMME

IN a bid to try and modernise our nation, Great Nortend, the country of Devernia has launched a programme entitled 'UpdateNortain'. The programme will be funded by the government of Devernia with £8300 in NSD being allocated to the project which focusses on mass-distributing electronic computers and laptops, mobile telephones, televisions and motorcars to the poplace in an attempt to bring Great Nortend in line with 'the times'.

The project manager of the foreign initiative, Mr Halgumstan, said, 'Nortainland is still stuck in the dark ages, I'm afraid. I was inspired by the 'A Laptop For Every Kid' initiative targeted towards the poor kids at Smalltopia. Sure, the computers we're giving out are not the best, but they can do." It is unknown whether Mr Halgumstan will be planning to bolster the electricity grid, build a system of mobile telephone towers and to construct more garages for the distribution of petrol to the newly-obtained motorcars.

The Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, Mr George Drachington, to-day told the Regal Post that, 'His Majesty's Government has not solicited the UpdateNortain programme and will not be contributing any tax-payer money towards it, however is watching its activities keenly. Ultimately, it is up to His Majesty's subjects as to whether or not it will be a success.' He did also point out that Mr Halgumstan was incorrect is saying that most of our people still use carriages and telephones—most normal people use public transport or walk, as carriages are mostly confined to the upper-class and farmers, and most people still use the post as telephony has yet to reach every household.

Though the Secretary has not publically expressed any opinions towards it, the programme faces harsh criticism from many other MPs from both the Scodes and the Droughs. The Lord Frenton, Viscount of Frenton, has said 'the programme does not respect the traditional culture of the Nortan people. We do not need nor want new-fangled electrical goods from foreign countries that threaten to disrupt our society and way of life. It is utterly reprehensible that a foreign nation should try enforcing their own culture and way of life upon our blessed land.' The Church of Nortend has not yet expressed a view on the programme, but with a thinly veiled criticism of the Church in a statement, it is unlikely that it will receive ecclesiastical support.

Furthermore, whilst its intentions may be good, the programme may face hiccoughs in the way due to the current prohibition of 'unusual roofing materials' in the Building Practices Act of 1934 which prohibits roofs made of unusual or radical substances, which solar panels, which are contraptions which create electricity through the power of the sun, though not forming the roof itself, may fall under. The embassy of Devernia, which was established only a few days ago, has yet to comment.

PRINCESS ROYAL TO MEET PRINCE OF HERACLE

THE Palace to-day has confirmed that His Royal Highness Prince Thales Sherman of Heraclea will be formally introduced to Catherine, the Princess Royal, at the Palace of St Michael'sgate in the coming days. The Prince, who is the youngest son of His Royal Highness, Prince Gabriel of Heraclea-Mitrailleuse of the Recon Empire, is expected to court Catherine. His Majesty the King has been quoted as saying that he 'is uncommonly pleased with the [prospect]' and that he 'he hopes that they will find love together'. Catherine, who is second in line to the throne, is eighteen years old and has recently left Dunmary House, a finishing school for girls, and has in the last few months made over five royal attendances in the recent effort to increase interaction with the Royal Family.

The possibility of engagement and a Royal wedding has caused a stir amongst senior bishops of the Church who are concerned at Prince Thales's Dianian beliefs and the possibility of a prince-consort not of the Cardican faith. Nevertheless, the Bishop of Lendert wished the possible couple all the best and hoped that they will find each other a suitable husband and wife.

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Further controvery surrounds the UpdateNortain programme
IN further trouble for the UpdateNortain programme, the Devernite Secretary of Culture, Mr Brian Halgumstan, who is coincidentally Mr Gary Halgumstan's brother, has decried the UpdateNortain programme as 'forcing [the Devernite] technoloy-immolated(sic) lifestyle into [our] throats'. In apparent agreement with the Lord Frenton who this morning said '[the programme] does not respect the traditional culture of the Nortan people', this will likely bolster the growing campaign against the UpdateNortain programme. Conversely, there is some support for the programme from various groups, the largest of which is the Royal Nortan Society. Their chairman, Sir Bartholomew Walters, has told the Regal Post that Nortan needs to embrace change and that unless we accept help from foreign nations, we will remain stagnant and backwards amongst countries and people steadily moving forwards in the sciences and engineering.

Mr Gary Halgumstan to-day said that the programme merely wishes to educate the Nortan people in the modern way of life. Mr Drachington has issued a statement of support from His Majesty's Government for increasing the supply of electricity in towns, however has remained silent on whether or not the government will consider allowing access to computers and the internet. The General Post Office holds a monopoly over electronic and postal forms of communication and the Postmaster-General, Sir Lachlan James, to-day released a statement the beginning of which is reproduced hereinafter for the benefit of the poplace.

It is the opinion of the General Post Office that little good will arise from the provision of electronic equipment to the population. It will merely serve to damage the social fabric of Great Nortend, and put hundreds of people out of work. As we are able to see from the change that has taken place on other nations, the growth in automation and computational power has lead to many occupations at risk of obsolescence. The Nortan public prides itself on maintain a cohesive and well-balanced society where service to others, rather than speed and efficiency, though both important, takes priority. It is a great danger to our very lifestyles that this programme entails and I hope the people will agree with me in saying that it has little place in His Majesty's lands and dominions.

Nonetheless, he did acquiesce that the programme was an act of generosity and kindness and to fully push against it would be rude and unbecoming. It is still unknown whether or not such determined displays of anti-'UpdateNortain' sentiment will deter Mr Halgumstan from proceeding with the project, as it appears he is fully set on adapting to all issues that lay ahead. The Regal Post hopes that Mr Halgumstan will publish a formal timeline of his plan so that the government can begin talks with him. Only this morning did the Stalworth Electricity Corporation close down from lack of interest from the Stalworth community. Time will tell whether the people of Nortend will be accepting of the radical changes proposed by Mr Halgumstan.

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Laptops and computers begin to be delivered to Arnsbowillow

THE controversial UpdateNortain initiative spearheaded by the Devernite Mr Gary Halgumstan has to-day begun to deliver its first laptop-computer to the people of Great Nortend. All 34 residents of Arnsbowillow in Enley have received a laptop-computer each and are to-day being educated by Devernites on how to use them. Mr Adrian Wood, who has lived in Arnsbowillow since he was born 53 years ago, said to the Regal Post, 'The postman came 'round this morn and rought (gave) me a parcel which was a great surprise. Computers I've heard of but I know not as to why I need one. Are the minds our Lord gaveth us not sufficient?'.

Despite a somewhat lukewarm beginning, some children have expressed interest in the new technology. Local schoolboys Damien Stretcher and Philip Baker were some of the first in the local school to try the flashy appliances. 'Phil and me we roughten (got) the computer by the formmistress. A fellow named Mr Bugwarstart taught us how to play a game on the screen.' When asked whether or not they preferred the computer to playing real games, Master Philip indicated that he still wanted to play in the local wood after school. 'It's funner than minesweeper', he said.

Local MP the Honourable Leslie Starling told the Regal Post that he had not been consulted before the deliveries were made. 'It's all been rather sudden I daresay, and I hadn't known about this until this morning. I'm not terribly pleased, but it has been done and I have no power to confiscate them away'. It is believed that similar trial will be made around the country and based on the trials, further deliveries may take place in the future. The 'UpdateNortain' programme has received widespread disdain amongst the upper-classes who feel it is patronising.

Prince Edmund, the third eldest son of the late Queen Catherine II, was reportedly left fuming after reading about the project last night, having penned many urgent telegrammes, according to an undisclosed source. It would not be the first time that His Royal Highness has been left less than amused after attempts to entice change amongst our fiercely conservative nation. When the Archbishop of Rhise earlier this year announced that churches within the diocese would be abolishing the Latin rite from Michaelmas this year , he led the nation-wide campaign to reverse the change, which ultimately succeeded. It is as of yet unknown whether the Prince will be considering a similar act for the UpdateNortain programme.

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Concerns raised as to the true motive of the UpdateNortain programme
IN the House of Lords to-day, peers fiercely debated the controversial UpdateNortain programme with vigour and lust. The project manager of the programme, Mr Gary Halgumstan, to-day suggested that the main goal of the programme is to make Great Nortain, amusingly known by the Lancanby name of 'Nortain' abroad, rich. Senior peers have questioned whether such a capitalist motive would work under Nortend's semi-feudal class society and whether indeed it would be welcome.

Lord Siel, the Earl of Siel, strongly protested against the programme suggesting that '[it] would create irrevocable changes in the fabric of Nortan society.' Other peers concurred, including Prince Edmund, and it is expected that within the next week the Prince, the Duke of Dunricia, will introduce a bill in the House that would require government approval for all foreign 'aid' programmes.

In another turn of events, the trial of laptop-computers in Arnsbowillow appears to have been a failure, with only eight people daring to turn on the laptop despite assurance and assistance from Devernites especially flown in to teach residents how to use them. The Vicar of Arnsbowillow, one of the people who refused to touch the contraptions, declared it to be a destroyer of civility and society and urged all parishioners to remove them from their houses.

As of this after-noon, it is still unknown whether Mr Halgumstan intends to proceed with the ill-received programme in the face of such criticism and disdain. One person when asked of his opinion of it said, 'Next they'll be carting over their Gallic units too!'

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Final nails in the coffin for doomed programme?
THE Church of Nortend this evening has potentially put one of the last nails in the coffin of the 'UpdateNortain' programme which has been fraught with allegations of imperialism and ignorance of culture, with one Carminian professor reportedly have said, 'You can't just force your own lifestyle on someone else'. The Archbishop of Sulthey, The Most Reverend John Culson, in a sermon at Evensong to-night criticised the arrogance of the Devernite elite in forcing a foreign nation with whom they had little diplomatic discussion prior, to adopt a radically new way of life. He did, however, stop short of outright condemning the initiative, and told over 2000 in the congregation that, 'Though we may lead diffent lives to those abroad, and that it is clear that we are unable and indeed unwilling to embrace these changes, we must be able to show appreciation and despite our feelings towards them, forgive, as our Lord Jesus Christ forgave us and told unto us to do so as well'. Nonetheless, these words are unlikely to change the strong feeling most Nortans have towards the programme which claims to bring electricity, automation and 'modern' life to the masses as being a programme bent on delivering to the people of Great Nortend equipment they do not want, are fearful of, and feel is not needed and indeed inherently dangerous to our very society.

Foreign countries have also expressed their concern at the programme which has been likened to a 'public relations disaster'. Queen of the Roses, Juliana I of Carmini, has even spoken of her increduality towards the actions of the Devernites, which prompted her to tell the Amaranth Announcer, 'One cannot fathom why the Devernians felt it wise to impose their technology upon a society that is neither prepared for nor in need of it'. HRH Prince Edmund has also finally delivered a press statement regarding his views on the programme. Speaking exclusively to the Regal Post, he said that he was not surprised at the reaction of the people and that he wholeheartedly agreed. 'We have a strong country. A cohesive nation all subjects under His Majesty the King toiling away to make our glorious state the best it can be. We do not need, or indeed, should be accept, aliens traipsing in from abroad bringing with them elements of their culture that threaten to displace and permanently erode our very own society and identity.'

Indeed, even the Devernian Secretary of Foreign Affairs, Mr Brian Halgumstan, the brother to the project manager of the intiative, has called vigorously for it to be shut down. Admitting that it is 'poorly planned' and has caused 'Devernia [to be] in the spotlight called hate', he requested to 'SAL9000', a computer which functions as the effective King-cum-Prime Minister of Devernia, that it may be shut down. Yet, despite the vocal opposition from both Nortend, Devernian government and abroad, it does not seem like the Government of Devernia is intending to halt the programme any time soon. Though 'SAL9000' calculated that the chance of success is low for the programme, it ultimately decided not to cease the operation, instead choosing to keep watch for any 'ulterior motives'.

Whether or not such ulterior motives poses a threat to the national security of Nortend is yet to be seen, but the Government is in deep talks with the Ambassador from Devernia regarding the issue. Mr James Revola, who has still refused to talk to the Regal Post, is believed to fear of the possible wider problems the bungled operation may cause not only with Erbo-Devernian relations but Devernia's relations with other nations around the world.

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Yet another attempt to modernise
FERDISTANI national energy company, 'Ferdpower', has released a number of statements suggesting that they are intending to offer the people of Great Nortend an alternative to the UpdateNortain programme that has been beseiged by problems and controversy. Whilst the Devernite society has attempted to distance themselves from the programme, it appears the visible reluctance and aversion towards modernisation has not caused other initiatives to start popping up.

In a message to the Ferdistani radio station 'Radio Travailleur', Ferdpower has outlined its five-step plan in order to slowly push foreign technology into our country. These five steps are discussed hereinafter for the benefit of our readers.

I, III and V. Ferdpower intends to spend around £10 million to buy up Nortan land and sea rights in order so that they may build wind-electricity farms and tidal-electricity farms so that they may then sell electricity on to residents at a rate of a farthing or the so called 'quarter-penny', an hour. The manager of the Bishops' Corner Electricity Company has attacked this plan as attempting to monopolise the Nortan electricity market by driving out local electricity companies who are simply unable to compete against such wealth of foreign money. Curiously, Ferdpower appears to believe solar-electricity to not be a viable option of Great Nortend, despite our sunny climate.

II. Ferdpower further intends to 'educate' the populace by distributing pamphlets en masse to every household espousing the benefits of electricity and digitalisation. This move, which they expect to cost 2·5 million pounds, although the General Post Office has told us delivery would cost merely £37,500 for a card to every single one fo the 18 million households in Nortend so we are unsure where the rest is going, will see 99% of heads of households receiving information on the convenience of 'electric stoves and heating', and 'up-to-the minute accurate weather reports'. Whether or not the Post Office will be willing to help facilitate the possible demise of letter, card and telegramme volumes is as of yet unknown, but the Regal Post believes it will refuse to carry it under the terms of the Postal Services Act 1882.

IV. Ferdpower also intends to launch a competition to find the best electric motorcar design, with the prize being a enormous £10,000 as well as a £100 a month salary and funds in order to put into industrial manufacturing the electric motorcar as well as places where the battery or supply of electricity may be replenished. In apparent ignorance of the status of the motorcar in Great Nortend, Ferdpower appears to believe any person would be interested in purchasing an electric motorcar. Given the vast sums of money required to register a motorcar as well as to obtain a licence for the driving of the motorcar, it is unlikely that any person in status lower than a bank-manager would be able to afford one at all.

HRH Prince Edmund has criticised the Ferdistani plans to modernise Great Nortend as well, and has urged both the House of Lords and the Houses of Commons in an impassioned plea to block Ferdpower's paperwork and permits.

'Our country's sovereignity is being slowly eroded as foreign countries attempt to barge in and meddle in our society so that they perhaps may feel it to be more reminiscent of whence they came, at the same time showing profound ignorance of our own culture, society and way-of-life.'

The Prime Minister, the Duke of Limmes, has also commented on the recent projects.
'It is disgraceful to the entire international community to allow such bullying to take place. It is not up to the governents of Devernia or Ferdistan to dictate to us how technologically advanced we ought to be and for them do so unreservedly and fully intent on moulding us to conform to global standards is utterly reprehensible'.

The UpdateNortain programme, on the other hand, is almost sure to be terminated soon as it is wholy unwanted within the Nortan community and has tallied its own reputation overseas as well. It remains to be seen whether Ferdpower's permits will be approved and whether they will seek to implement their plan. The question of whether or not Ferdistan would be allowed to bring its residents to Great Nortend poses a question as well, given the possibility of Mohammadanist proselytising of the 97% Christian population.

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UpdateNortain shut down
IN A surprising though not unexpected turn, the Devernite UpdateNortain programme has been 'terminated' by the Devernite government. With serious allegations of fraud and intentionally sabotaging equipment delivered to unsuspecting residents, the project manager of the programme has been charged with intent to cause arson, fraud and deceit, with the maximum penalty being thirty years of incarceration with hard labour. Mr Halgumstan, who has been gaoled awaiting a grand jury at the Hendle Magistrates' Court where it is expected that he will be indicted and passed to the Assizes when it next comes to Enley during the Winter circuit.

The Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, Mr George Drachington, to-day made a statement addressing the public concerns about the programme. “The UpdateNortain, which most regrettably has caused Great Nortend much distress, has been terminated on their own initiative by the government of Devernia, and for this we must congratulate them for their quick and speedy analysis of the situation. One man has been arrested and remains in custody for a variety of alleged crimes regarding the programme. For all people who are in possession of any laptop-computer or computer or any other article delivered to them though the UpdateNortain initiative, I urge you to return it to the UpdateNortain company, at the address printed in a telegramme which you shall receive soon. Postage back should not bear postage or a return address as the company has graciously accepted the costs."

The similar programme which has recently started development in Ferdistan by their national energy provider has not commented on the recent developments, however the Devernite government has apparently rediverted the £8300 it had allocated for their domestic UpdateNortain programme to the FerdPower initiative. Whether or not this new initiative will get off the ground awaits to be seen.

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The City Mint to start minting wetches again
THE CITY MINT to-day announced its intention to start minting coins of the wetch again after more than twenty-six years of hiatus. The Mint stopped minting the historic currency in 1990 as a response to the silver shortage and popular belief that the government would abolish the wetch entirely. Now, after two decades of changing opinions, the wetch has effectively replaced the pound nort in Lendert and shows no signs to stopping.

The Warden of the City Mint announced on the steps of the mint that 'the wetch is an integral part of the culture and traditions of the city of Lendert-proper-with-Cadell-upon-Nort and must be preserved. I am most pleased to be announcing that we, the City Mint, will recommence mintage of coins of the wetch, including the huckle, murl, lide and wetch next month in November to commemorate the founding of the Mint in 1302.

The wetch, which is divided into five lides with twenty huckles each is a form of currency only used in the capital city of Great Nortend, Lendert. The currency, which is pegged directly to the pound nort remains a curious odditity but nowadays is used frequently for both overseas business transactions and accounting, on account of its decimal nature. The re-introduction of freshly minted coins has followed the reintroduction of wetch bank-notes last year by the Princes' Bank.

It is expected that the designs for the reverse of the coin, or the 'tails', will be the same as those used prior to 1990, the familiar heraldic symbols of Lendert. The obverse will use the portrait of the His Majesty the King used on the pound nort coins. It will be the first time King Alexander II will have appeared on a wetch coin, as he became King after the cessation of minting.

GPO to introduce 2nd class postage
THE POSTMASTER-GENERAL has announced that the GPO would be introducing 2nd class postage as of the 1st of November this year. This new service will mean non-crucial items of post would now reach their destinations up to five days (one working week) after postage, at half price. He assured the public that the current postage price for next-day delivery will remain and that it is not expected that local 2nd class postage will be considerably slower than standard postage. International post will have also a 2nd class option, at ⅔ price and will expect delivery (subject to the local postal service) within four weeks.

The Editor-in-Chief of the Regal Post has published the below guide for households so that readers of this paper may be able to fully acquaint themselves with the new option so that they may be able to perhaps save money on their next postage.

How will it work?
2nd class standard letters should bear a halfpenny stamp with 2nd class written below it in ink. Then, simply post it in any post box or at post office just as you would any other letter. The GPO will be installing new slots in some post boxes for the use of 2nd class post only. Please ensure if such post boxes are provided that you post your item in the correct slot. Small parcels up to 1lb which cost sixpence for next-day delivery will attract a threepence price for delivery within one working week. Other domestic items are at half price, not including extra charges such as for bulky objects or special delivery. Remember, you must lodge parcels heavier than 1lb or unsuitable for general postage at a post office. International post is at ⅔ price. For example, a standard threepence letter to Australia with a delivery time of a week will cost twopence and have a delivery time of approximately three weeks.

Why has this new service been introduced?
The GPO has over the last decade had a 12% increase in the number of posted items. Many customers have told us that they do not require next-day delivery and want a cheaper option for non-essential post such as letters to friends and family living far away. This means important post such as bank statements, utilities and doctor's appointments will not be delayed by personal letters to an aunt living in the next county regarding her favourite knitting patterns.

The GPO has wished to inform the public that if you have any queries or questions regarding the new service, to not hesitate to ask a Post Office clerk, write to the General Post Office at the below free-post address, or call 0 470.
Enquiries,
General Post Office
Barkingsaw
Eamshire

Policeman assaulted by foreigner
IN ANOTHER major blow to the reputation of Devernia, a policeman was to-day allegedly assaulted by a political activist from the country in an unprovoked attack occasioning grievous bodily harm. Mr Samuel Gugdumton, who is a known political activist, was halted by a uniformed policeman in relation to the illegal bills he was posting upon a tree in Fitzsimmon Park. The bills were in regards to Great Nortend's use of capital punishment which Mr Gugdumton did not approve of. When PC Daniels informed of his crime, that is, of posting bills on public property, Mr Gugdumton was said to yell, 'Fascist scum, you copper!', and lashed out suddenly with his brush at the officer. When this failed to deter him from arresting him, Mr Gugdumton allegedly pushed over and started punching and boxing PC Daniels heavily in the jaw and chest.

Luckily for him, a member of the public, Mrs Louise Stornton, saw the assault and telephoned the police at a nearby police call-pillar. Mr Gugdumton was subdued by PC Melton and PC Sharp and arrested for assault occasioning grievous bodily harm and taken to Fitzsimmon Police Station. Mrs Stornton later told journalists, 'I saw the policeman, who was on the ground, getting a good beating from the man with his fists. I didn't know what to do but I remember there was a call post nearby so I rushed over and called the police for help.' The Commisioner, Sir Andrew Wolden, commended Mrs Stornton on her actions and encouraged all members of the public to assist policemen in need.

The latest arrest was not the first time Mr Gugdumton has been arrested. He was arrested last month over his disorderly behaviour near the Palace of St. Michael'sgate, apparently loudly criticising the Royal Family and Church of Nortend, calling the King and Queen insulting names and trampling on copies of the Bible. He was fined two pounds six shillings for distress and alarming of the public with disorderly behaviour. Devernia has recently also come into the news over the arrest of the project manager of the 'UpdateNortain' programme which intended to bring modern technology to Great Nortend. Mr Halgumstan was arrested two days ago over allegations of fraud and deceit, as well as intention to cause arson, fire and distress. The Devernite government has not yet issued a statement regarding the latest arrest. PC Daniels is as of print still recovering in hospital whilst Mr Gugdumton is in custody and is expected to face the magistrates' court early next week.

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Ferdpower intent on entering the Erbonian market
IN AN unexpected move, the Ferdistani state energy corporation, Ferdpower, has announced that it will continue to pursue entrance to Great Nortend despite recent scandals regarding the UpdateNortain programme from Devernia. Whilst Ferdpower's proposal does seem to be similar to the cancelled UpdateNortain initiative, the Regal Post believes it is more realistic and achievable than the latter, which comprised mostly of importing large quantities of sabotaged electrical equipment and delivering them to the people.

Undoubtably, it is up to the people of Great Nortend as to whether or not we will embrace this new venture, as the disastrous UpdateNortain has most certainly tarnished our view of foreign modernisation attempts. Ferdpower, however, has taken the step of replacing its overseas director with the Christian Mr Graceful but Cautious, arguably in an attempt to smooth relations with the Church of Nortend who could scupper the plans before they had even started should it wish to.

In a gesture of goodwill, and possibly also an attempt to quieten disgruntled villagers, Ferdpower has pledged the £8300 it is expected to receive from the Government of Devernia to improving the village of Arnsbowillow, which, in the first trial run of laptop-computers from Devernia, was the victim of attempted arson due to sabotaged batteries. The Vicar of Arnsbowillow, the Rev'd Stuart Potter on behalf of the parish, has graciously accepted the donation and said, 'On behalf of all our village councillors, I wish to show our gratitude for this monetary donation. It will be used to fund new books for the village school, to pay for repairs to the church and churchyard, to resurface and to install oil lamps on the high street, to hire and pay for a parish lamp-cum-handyman, and to subsidise medicines at the apothecary's.'

Fernpower has also scuttled plans for an electric motorcar design competition and has instead launched a writing competition for children from bottom junior to form two, or ages seven to thirteen. The competition, which requires children to write about 'Why electricity would help my family', has a prize of ten pounds, a more reasonable prize than the £10,000 offered herebefore.

HRH Prince Edmund has said in regards to Fernpower's proposal that '[he] regrets being so rash in [his] previous statements and that [he] would like to discuss personally with Mr Cautious the plans Ferdpower has before making a decision.' Whilst it appears His Royal Highness still holds strong doubts about the programme's suitability to Great Nortend, His Grace the Duke of Limmes, the Prime Minister, to-day suggested that the government would be willing to allow Ferdpower a trial. He maintained that electricity was dangerous for Nortan society in general and that its widespread implementation would be detrimental to Nortan culture, as seen in many other developed nations, however hinted that portable electricity generators for doctors' surgeries, medical and similar purposes would be acceptable.

'My government does not wish to adversely affect the health and wellbeing of any Nortan subject and thus we are able to allow electricity for doctors' surgeries, hospitals and the like where to deny electricity may mean to deny a life or future'.
The Prime Minister also to-day received an electric 'hotplate' from Ferdpower in an attempt by the company to woo over the Duke to electricity. It is believed that His Grace's footman found it rather slow compared to the roaring fires typically used to heat water for tea.

The Comptroller of the Exchequer to-day also said that mains electricity from private companies still would not be allowed for general use without a licence, as it is to-day, which currently costs, in addition to any fees and charges imposed by the electricity company, £18 a year for private homes and £8 a year for commercial purposes. The only common use of electricity in the current day is the electric tramways which are present and are being built under the Town Transport Tramway project in many towns and cities, as well as various industrial uses for the production of plant ice and other resources.

It is expected that Mr Curious will meet with the Privy Council on Monday and discuss the plans Ferdpower has. He maintained that '[Ferdpower] would not have invested if we thought the population indisposed to electrification' and that 'while we await research from our surveys, we will naturally postpone any further involvement until we have clear results that the general populace favors electrification'. It is unknown whether or not Great Nortend will poll favourably in favour of electrification, but if we do, it will certain have a profound change on our distinctive traditional culture and way-of-life.

Increased calls for a change in measures
THE Metric Nortend Association, or MNA, has to-day launched a new advertising campaign designed to sway public opinion in favour of the metric system of weights and measurements. A range of colourful enamel signs will go up around major towns which espouse the alleged simplicity and clarity the metric system would bring to calculations. The current system, Queen Catherine's System of Weights and Measurements, commonly known by the Nortan public as the Standard System, was first introduced 1799 by Her Majesty Queen Catherine the First in a successful attempt to unify the diverse range of measurements used at the time in different counties and regions, and has undergone little revision since then except with the addition of units used in physics in the late 20th century. Despite the majority of the world moving over to the Gallic metric system by the second half of the 20th century, Great Nortend has so far resisted any urge to adopt the 'International System' with most people being content with the current system.

The chairman of the MNA, Mr George Weber, to-day said in a statement to the Regal Post, 'Nortend needs to move with the times. Only three other countries in the world do not use the metric system, which is better in all respects to our current system of convoluted relationships.' He went on to suggest that 'no-one knows how many pints there are in a comb' and that 'international trade would benefit by switching over to the simpler [metric] system'. Whilst it is unknown how much money it would cost to change signage, books, equipment and machines to the metric system, Mr Weber suggested that 'the savings resulting from the metric system would far outweigh any costs incurred during the change over'.

The MNA, which boasts around two thousand members, was formed in the 1970s to push the government to change, which it has so far been reluctant to do so due to lack of public support, which is believed to have risen slightly since the 70s. However, it is unlikely that the majority of the populace supports a change, as even as recent as 2014, a national survey conducted by the Weights and Measures Office revealed that 14% of the population thought the metric system to be better, 73% thought the standard system to be better and 13% undecided.

The Weights and Measures Office has responded to the renewed push for metrification by reminding the public that 'the only legal units for trade and commerce are Her Majesty Queen Catherine's System of Weights and Measurements and that the use of all other systems, be they Imperial, Metric or Far Eastern, excepting local customary units, are prohibited and may result in fines or imprisonment.'

The MNA has also in recent years tried to introduce the teaching of the metric system in schools in order to lay the foundations for change. As part of changes made in 2015 to the state curriculum, third form pupils will be encouraged to learn the basics of the metric system such as the units for length and mass, which are the metre and kilogramme respectively, though it is not compulsory. The change was met by criticism by both the Royal Nortan Society and the MNA. The RNS said at the time the encouragement was a sign of 'tampering with the national culture' and 'extremely dangerous to young children'. The MNA conversely argued that it suggested to pupils that the metric system was 'a mere oddity' and 'not worthy of extensive education in'.

With a population of 55 million Nortans, 67% of which have little to no understanding of the metric system, it is inconceivable how the MNA wishes to change units. For the majority of people who are most familiar with pounds, stones, feet and inches, the introduction of foreign terms such as gramme, centimetre and litre amounts little more than culture appropriation. It remains to be seen how successful the MNA campaign will be and whether or not the public will take to the metric system or not.

AD ID OCT MMXVI · Printed in Lendert · Price 2d

Yet another player wades into the modernisation wars
THE Thermodolian National Power Corporation has to-day announced its own plans to bring electricity to Great Nortend. After seeing the failed UpdateNortain programme from Devernia, and the apparently 'stagnated' plan from Ferdpower, the TNPC has opted for a more conservative route. Instead of the modernisation and technology promoted by UpdateNortain and Ferdpower, the Thermodolian energy company has stated that it only wants to 'bring power [to] Nortain and only that'.

Arguing that 'we do not wish to change or modernize Nortain' and that '[Great Nortend] will modernize at [her] own pace', TNPC instead has apparently chosen to focus on promoting electric light over the myriad of other possible uses. It has outlined in its plan that TNPC will buy up land to construct solar power, hydroelectric power and nuclear power generating stations with labourers coming from the local communities. In another act of apparent understanding, TNPC has shown an intention to consulte with the government over pricing to avoid putting local companies out of business.

Whether or not communities will be accepting of fields of metal solar panels or the damming of riverways to produce electricity is as of yet unknown. More controversial is the use of nuclear power which campaigners have said 'is dangerous for the environment' due to the possibility of nuclear contamination of Nortend's fertile soils.

The proposal has already won approval from overseas, with the Devernite foreign minister, The Hon. Brian Halgumstan, the brother of the accused arsonist and project manager of the UpdateNortain programme, Mr Gary Halgumstan, lauding the projec exclaiming that 'this is how you properly do it.'

Another Devernite company, Zeus-Thor Electricity has recently also expressed interest in building nuclear power stations in Nortend. The CEO of the company, yet another 'brother' of Mr Hulgumstan, who seems to have a myriad of siblings in influential positions, Mr Hannah Halgumstan, has dismissed local electricity companies stating that as 'they barely even provide the power to cover the whole country', the company will 'just buy them in the long run'.

The government has not publically responded to either proposal and it is not known whether or not it will approve them given the current political climate.

PM AD XVII KAL NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Milk-man saves grandmother's life
IN AN act of bravery and valour, a milk-man has yester-day saved the life of elderly grandmother, Mrs Janet Spinner, after housebreakers invaded her home in Hameford. late last evening. The news comes after a spate of burglaries in the area, which are believed to have been commited by the same men.

Mr John Pinter, who is the local milk-man, told journalists that that when he was delivering Mrs Spinner's milk, he heard 'scuffling and screaming' from indoors. 'I don't know what came over me but I grabbed a bottle and entered her house to see what it was'. Mr Pinter reported seeing 'one masked black man' kicking and yelling 'I'll kill you!' at Mrs Spinner in an attempt to learn of the whereabouts of her jewellery and money. 'I crept up behind the [man] and hit him on the head with the bottle and he just crumpled onto the floor'. Another man was also allegedly at the scene and fled after seeing Mr Pinter and his unconscious friend on the floor.

After waiting for the police and ambulance to arrive, Mr Pinter reportedly resumed his deliveries of milk before making a statement at Borton Street Hameford police station. Mrs Spinner said she 'owed her life to Mr Pinter' and that she had been 'terrified of what the man would have done to her had he not been there'. She was discharged from hospital this morning, having escaped with only minor bruising.

The housebreaker whom was apprehended by Mr Pinter, Mr Abena Bello, is currently in custody and is expected to face the magistrates next month for five charges of breaking and entering, four charges of larceny and one charge of assualt and battery occasioning actual bodily harm.

PM AD XV KAL NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Pensonford Tramway opens
AFTER a year of construction works, the Pensonford Tramway Corporation has finally opened the first tramline built in Great Nortend since the 1980s under the Town Transport Project launched two years ago by the Prime Minister, to the public.

The electric line, which is over eight miles in length and built to the standard gauge, stretches from the village of Bornfield in the east to the large market town of Pensonford, a large town in South Aceshire, stopping in the hamlet of Darm on the way. The Portreeve of Pensonford, the Worshipful John Mayers, said at the opening celebrations to-day that 'this new tramline will mean easier travel around Pensonford and the surrounding villages of Bornfield and Darm'. The Corporation has purchased ten wooden tramcars painted in a distinctive green and cream livery.

The line, which has twenty eight stops, is dual tracked in the Pensonford area however is only single track out to Bornfield. From opening, it is scheduled that there will be one tram running from Bornfield to Pensonford every hour, whilst there will be a sufficient number of trams within Pensonford for there to be a tram every thirty minutes. It is expected that it will cost a penny a mile and that the Corporation and government will be able to recoup the £10,000 spent on the project from the expected number of passengers in the town of 23,000 inhabitants within ten years.

Similar projects in Uxfowl, Oxley, Tollsea and Walecester are currently underway under the same government initiative. Early reports of the tram line in action have been positive, with passengers praising the smooth, quiet ride and elegance of the trams. There are concerns the electricity supply will not be sufficient from some people, however the mayor as assured the public that 'the trams use state-of-the-art electric motor technology from Germany and thus has a rather minimal electricity usage'.

PM AD XIV KAL NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS
S P E C I A L C O L O U R E D I T I O N

New stained glass window revealed
HIS MAJESTY the King has to-day revealed the newly installed stained glass artwork in the northern transept of Polton Cathedral. In a special ceremony in the church square, His Majesty and the Bishop of Polton thanked and congratulated the people who had donated and worked on the project to restore the windows, which since August last year have been plain glass. In this special colour edition of the Regal Post, we have reproduced a photograph of the new windows for the viewing pleasure of our readers.

The previous stained glass windows in the northern transepts, which were painted in the 15th century, were destroyed last year in an act of sacrilege by a group of foreigners protesting against the influence the Church has on Great Nortend. The group of fifty men and women in August last year hurled stones, bottles and rocks at the window which depicted the life of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Queen of Heaven and Mother of God, shattering most of the pieces of glass and damaged the leadwork beyond repair.

In a further act of vandalism, some of the men entered the cathedral and attempted to grind the glass fragments into powder. The entire group were arrested by the policemen of the Polton Cathedral Crown Constabulary at the scene and were later charged with sacrilege, and received five years of prison with hard labour.

Under threat of more windows being damaged or destroyed by vandals, especially from overseas, the Church of Nortend has launched a nationwide campaign to protect the most historically important windows from damage. The church will, and has already installed in some places, metal grilles over the glasswork. Though it had conceded that the aesthetic appearance of the windows may be dimished from the outside, His Grace the Archbishop of Sulthey has said that 'the sight from the interior remains unchanged'.

The new windows, created and designed by the renowned artist Sir Henry Fitzlloyds, depicted the same scenes from the Virgin Mary's life as the previous windows, are executed on hand-blown glass from Applestockton, a town known for its glassworks and only fifty miles from Polton. These windows, as well as the rest of the cathedral's stained glass, have been fitted with the the grilles.

The Right Reverend Lord Bishop of Polton said in a speech at the revelation this afternoon that '[the new windows] show that we will not bow down to those abroad' and that 'Great Nortend, as a sovereign state under God, shall not be influenced unduly by others'. His Majesty the King said 'he was delighted that the new windows have been revealed' and that he prayed that 'God will protect my Kingdom and her people and Church'. This was most warmly received by the enthusiastic crowd which had gathered in the square outside.

AD X KAL NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Batford Railway Station re-opens after modernisation works

BATFORM Railway Station to-day was reopened by the Eastern Railway Company after eleven months of modernisation works. The station's distinctive signal-box gantry was restored and repainted, and the signal-box and station enlarged in order to cope with the proposed addition of an extra track on the Storton to Henglade line, along which Batford lies. The station now has three platform faces, along with a cattle dock and goods shed.
As part of the modernisation works, the station facilities were greatly improved and now boast an enclosed wainscotted waiting room with a fireplace, gas lighting along the platforms at night and improved toilets for both gentlemen and ladies. Old fashioned wall-paper was also removed, toughened glass installed in windows, and the canopy re-installed, having been lying in the goods shed for over a decade after it collapsed in a fierce storm in 2006.
The stationmaster of Batford, Mr Ronald Joyce, told the Regal Post that the renovation of the station was very much needed to cope with the extra demand from the opening of Batford School only half a mile away. 'The boys coming to and from the new day school mostly will come from the surrounding villages and hamlets near Bidsorten and Batford Coase (the next and previous stations down the line). We expect that a large percentage of them will choose to travel by rail home and to school.'
Other improvements to the station as part of the five hundred pound renovation include the replacement of the gravel platform surface with stone, an improved station forecourt with horse-trough and shelters, and the addition of new flower beds and hanging baskets, lovingly tended to by Mrs Joyce and her daughter, Miss Annaline.
Eastern Railway services along the Henglade line will now all stop at Batford starting on this Monday. the railway has also announced that in an agreement with the school, school-boys travelling to and from Batform School will be eligible for half-fare tickets before and after school hours.

Left: The re-opened station

AD PRI KAL NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Nuns assaulted at Morford
IN A VICIOUS attack on the Church, a pair of nuns were battered at Morford Abbey in the early hours of last evening. Morford Abbey, which is a community of 89 nuns of the Order of St Benedict, is a cloistered convent located in the village of Morford in Enley founded in the 15th century.

It is believed that the two attackers were adherants of Mohummadanism, members of which have in recent years attacked violently many European cities, often with deadly results. The Mother Superior of the abbey, Mother Maria Fidelis, has said that she is 'shocked by the depravity' of the actions and that 'God will punish [the two]'.

Mohammadanism, which is banned in Great Nortend, has been labelled as the cause of a growing number of attacks on women and society in a number of European cities. In Nice this year on Bastille Day, a Mohammadan mowed down the public in an act intended to incite terror and fear in the populance. The two men are believed to have entered Great Nortend as tourists, which exempted them from the ban of Mohammadanism, more commonly known in other countries as 'Islam'.

The two nuns, whom have not been named yet, were out in the evening in the abbey grounds closing in their chickens when reportedly the two attackers revealed themselves from behind a large oak tree and hit them with poles and tore off their wimples and habit before beating them with a brush. It is believed the two men scaled the tall abbey walls before hiding in the orchard until evening when they seized their chance after seeing the two nuns. After their attack, which allegedly included their shouting of words in the Arabian tongue, they escaped through a gate in the wall.

PC Willis, from Morford Police Station, attended the scene after another nun saw the commotion from afar, and assisted and treated the nuns, who were not badly injured. A doctor was called and declared there was no lasting damage and only superficial injuries had been sustained. Inspector Porter declined to comment on the case, however it is believed the police have narrowed it down three suspects.

All Hallows' Eve procession a success
A TRADITION that is carried out every year in nearly every parish across Great Nortend once again was held in Lendert-proper, and around the country, this evening. A tradition that dates back to the 13th century, the flaming crosses were proceded down the streets of the City in its 104 parishes to each parish church. His Majesty the King lead the procession to St Peters' and carried a bejeweled golden rod upon which a large oaken cross aflame was nailed.

Though the Fire Brigade was stationed along the many processions across the country, to avoid any flamage and destruction of property, it is believed there have been so far no reported incidents anywhere, excepting when an elderly lady's hat caught on fire and had to be put out. To further ensure the safety of the people and to prevent fire, one or more men were stationed in every churchyard where the flaming crosses were stuck to ensure there were no problems.

Over 4 million people are believed to have taken part in processions in Lendert alone, which brought the city to a standstill as thousands of flaming crosses, protected by glass shields, were carried down the narrow streets and roads to churches across the city, before being impaled in the churchyard in the ground.

The processions and flaming crosses represent the sacrifice made by our Christian martyrs and commemorate of all the saints of the Church.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:36 am

AD III NON NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Pekweng suspends embassy
IN A surprise move, the Commonwealth of Pekweng has suspended its embassy in Lendert to-day after last month's attack on the lady-ambassador and her family, as well as mission staff. In a letter to the Foreign Office, the Secretary of Foreign Affairs, the Honourable Vitaliano Moreno, informed the Foreign Secretary George Drachington that '[the Commonwealth] has decided to suspend our diplomatic mission within the Kingdom of Nortainland [during the] investigation of the incident.'

Despite the embassy closing, the Commonwealth does not appear to wish to suspend diplomatic relations with the Kingdom, and has installed His Excellency Mateo Poblacion as Ambassador whilst the erstwhile ambassador attends judicial hearings in the Commonwealth.

The Commisioner of the City Police Constabulary, Sir Warren Hicks, said yesterday afternoon that the Constabulary has arrested two men in connection with the attack, which involved a hand-grenade being thrown into the embassy's chancery located on Dund Street in Lendert-proper last month. He has not revealed whether or not the police believe the two men to be the attackers, whom have been found guilty in absentia in the Supreme Court of the Commonwealth of Pekweng, and are likely to also face charges in Great Nortend.

The attack on the embassy is believed to be a result of news regarding Pekweng's recent war against drugs and supposed "extrajudicial killings" as a means of offence. It is believed that HM Government and the majority of Nortans believe the war on drugs to be reasonable, however disagree with extrajudicial vigilante murder.

The Lord High Chancellor, the Bishop of Chepingstow, said that 'it is admirable that President Santillan (the President of the Commonwealth) is tackling the issue of drugs', however '[the Government] does not believe supporting illegal vigilantism and lynching is a rational approach to solving the issue [of drugs]'.

Once the investigation into the matter has concluded, it is expected that the embassy will re-open to the public. In the mean-time, the Commonwealth has not informed the Foreign Office of where tourists or Pekweng nationals can go for consular assistance, however the Office has recommended that any person wishing for assistance write to the acting Ambassador, His Excellency Mateo Poblacion, at 2 Dund Street, Lendert, where the closed embassy is located.

Hindia Belandan church to ordain homosexuals
A SHOCKING announcement made to-day by the Church of Hindia Belanda revealed that it will allow the ordination of 'gay' and lesbian people into the hallowed halls of priesthood. The Church, which also allows the ordination of women, has in recent years suffered yearly declines in membership. Depsite this, it still remains the largest denomination of Christianity in Hindia Belanda, an autonomous terrority of the Netherlands, and the second largest religion after Mohummadanism.

Monsignor Leonardo Tancredi in a letter circulated to the Church's 36 million members said that the first two homosexual bishops will be ordained this Saturday in a consistory lead by the Hindia Belandan Church's primate, Archbishop Kusuma of Buitenzorg, along with eight other presumably heterosexual bishops. The change marks the end of a two-century=old policy of 'don't ask, don't tell'.

It is believed that the change is opposed by a small section of the Church of Hindia Belanda. Reports from the country say around 500 protesters have taken to the streets to oppose the change, which was voted and passed, 1532-134, yesterday by the Hindia Belandan General Synod, which is made up of the bishops, priests and laity of the Church. There have been concerns raised that a small number of parishes, in traditionally conservative areas, will break away from the main Lutheran church and establish a new church, a move which will likely fragment the declining Hindia Belandan church even further.

The change in policy in Hindia Belanda is extremely unlikely to affect the doctrine of the Church in Nortend, given strong cultural and legal opposition to even homosexual carnal knowledge. A 2015 survey conducted by the Times Herald revealed that 90% of the population thought homosexuality to be sinful, disgusting and immoral.

The Primate of the Church of Nortend, the Archbishop of Sulthey, said in a statement this morning that 'this is yet another example of how other churches fail to heed the Lord's words' and 'choose to ignore wilfully the Holy Scriptures'.

PM PRI NON NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Archbishop reverses change
THE Archbishop of Rhise to-day announced this Hallow Friday of the decision to reverse controversial changes made in June earlier this year, which saw Latin optionally be abolished from the liturgy in the Archdiocese of Rhise. The move, which drew ire from a number of high-profile people, was a part of a scuppered 'modernisation drive' promulgated by the Archbishop, who is known for his somewhat liberal views which include support for the ordination of women.

The sudden reversal in policy means that once again, every parish is obliged to use Latin during the celebration of the Eucharist, except for readings from the Gospel, sermons, congregational and choir hymns and sung anthems, which may be optionally conducted in English. The Archbishop said that he 'acknowledges his mistake in abolishing the use of Latin', and that 'after much prayer to the Lord', he has decided to 'return to the traditional use of Latin during Cardican services which is favoured by most of Hambria'.

The announcement drew strong support from many groups and organisations. The spokesman for the Board of Schools praised the reversal, saying 'this further exemplifies the importance the Latin languages has in the Nortan and Hambrian cultures'. The chairman of the OLLIN (Ordo Linguæ Latinæ in Nortia), Mr Mark Speeler, also commended the move, expressing his 'great delight and joy' at learning of the change.

Some people however have expressed more negative views in the reversal, which a number of priests say 'makes inaccessible the Word to the people' and 'means the people cannot understand fully the message of the Church'. This is despite recent figures suggesting more around 50% of Hambrians understand basic Latin and more than 75% are able to understand Church Latin simply due to immersion in the language weekly.

The Archbishop's office told the Regal Post that priests will continue to use the traditional words and phrasing in Latin, reminding concerned people that translations in English of all of the Latin text in the Book of Common Prayer into English are printed alongside the Latin. It also encouraged parents to send their children to Sunday school where 'a variety of topics, including Church Latin, are typically taught by your local clergymen'.

ID VIII ID NON NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Inmates escape from Gaol
DURING the early hours of this morning two inmates are believed to have escaped from Newven Gaol, located in the market town of Newven Cross. It is believed that Mr James Spelt and Mr Peter Hollow, imprisoned for ten and thirteen years respectively, both for grievous battery and common assault, were assisted in their escapade from Newven Gaol by a friend. The Warden Master of Newven Gaol, Mr Lachlan Walgod, told the Regal Post, 'These two men are very dangerous' and that 'any person who sees, or believes to have seen these two men are urged to call the police immediately'.

The escape was first discovered by Mr Stuart Stunning, a prison guard at the gaol. Mr Stunning reported checking on the joint cell shared by Spelt and Hollow at 1·42 in the morning. However, when he returned in an hours' time, he allegedly found the cell empty with the window-bars violently removed and lying in the grass below, suggesting that the bars had been pulled away before the pair escaped through the window. It is not currently known how the inmates reached the ground, but preliminary analyses propose that a pole was used to slide down, given an angled indent found on the ground.

Extra police and special constables were put on the beat in and around Newven Cross's town centre, and all rail boardings checked by police, in an attempt to capture the men. Inspector Gerard Bullen said to reporters, 'There is no need for the public to be worried, however I do ask that they keep an eye on their surroundings and to report all suspicious behaviour to the police.' There are telephone kiosks and police call-phones located around Newven, and calls to the police are free.

There have been reported sightings of two men acting suspiciously near the Rold Arms public house in the east of the centre of Newven Cross during dawn, however police have not been able to ascertain whether or not they were the two escapees or not. The gaol has offerred a 100 shilling reward for any law-abiding person who gives any information that leads to the two men being caught.

It is expected that the escape will be tabled in the Houses of Commons to-day, with the example further bolstering the Lord Chancellor's recent moves to increase security in prisons and gaols by hiring more prison guards. A number of high-profile escapes from prisons in recent years have been embarrassing for the Government, especially after the Duke of Limmes pledged to 'reduce crime' and 'make our cities and towns safer' earlier this year.

AD V ID NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS
B R E A K I N G N E W S

HRH Princess Juliette dies
THE REGAL POST is greatly saddened to inform its readers of the death of Her Royal Highness Princess Juliette of Mast. The Palace of St Michaelsgate crier informed the public at three fifty-nine this morning outside the Great Gate that the Princess had died at two thirty-six o'clock this morning at the age of one hundred and two. HRH Princess Juliette was the youngest daughter of HRH Prince Henry, Duke of Mast, the brother of His Majesty King George III and the second son of His Majesty King Edward III. Her Highness leaves behind her two sons, Christopher Wallan, the 6th Duke of Saithsey, and Richard Wallan, from her marriage with the 5th Duke of Saithsey.

Princess Juliette had been reportedly feeling unwell and tired recently, though she was seen only last week on a stroll around the Mast Wood. She had been confined to bed with a fever and cough since yesterday morning. Her doctor was called on that evening as her condition deteriorated, and had the Last Rites performed on her by the local vicar in her last moments of consciousness. Though she remained breathing for a few hours, she passed away gracefully this morning surrounded by her family, the doctor and the vicar, and rose up to Heaven.

The Princess was born on the 3rd of July, 1912 at the Palace of St Michaelsgate to her father, The Prince Henry and baptised at a private ceremony by the Archbishop of Lendert. She grew up with her three other siblings, TRH Prince Phillip, Prince Matthew and Princess Mary in Soursden Palace. Loved by the public since her birth, Princess Juliette married the young and handsome Frederick Wallan, the then Viscount Hardibridge, who later became the 6th Duke of Saithsey, on St Christopher's Day in 1934 at the age of 22, in a beautiful wedding ceremony at St Peter's Cathedral in the heart of Lendert.

The Princess stayed out of the public eye for a few years until the much publicised births of Christopher James Wallan in 1941 and Richard Louis Wallan in 1948. She became a well-known figure in the arts and musical scenes, establishing the now famous Royal Saithsey Orchestra and was patron of the Catherine Theatre. She is said to have enjoyed the arts and music immensely, and continued to attend concerts and operas regularly until earlier this year, citing increased health issues and frailty.

The Duke of Limmes has declared to-morrow a public day of mourning, and has called a half-Crown holiday. In a statement to journalists this morning, he said, 'We have lost a princess to-day. Her Royal Highness Princess Juliette was truly full of grace and calm, who lived her life as a Christian and was loved by all Nortans.' The RBC has already announced its plan to suspend usual programming to-day and to-morrow and to broadcast a memorial programme of her life.

His Majesty the King has not yet prepared a statement however it is understood that he is personally grieving for the death of his first cousin once removed. Caustow House, the seat of the Duke of Saithsey, declined to comment on the news.

AD IV ID NOV MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Men charged with nun attack
TWO men have been charged by the police with the assault on two nuns at Morford Abbey in the early hours of the 31st of October this year. Inspector Porter of Morford Police Station has released a statement, saying that he is 'pleased with the satisfactory result' and '[hopes] this will not damage community relations'.

The two men held in custody have been named as Mohammed Sani and Abdul Shad, both citizens of France, by the police. They were found five miles whence they allegedly battered two elderly nuns with poles, staying in the town of Bimmington at an inn. The two men were arrested after the innkeeper recognised the two men from descriptions that were circulated by the police and telephoned the police. Mssrs Sani and Shad were officially registered by French authorities as being Muslims, who are adherants of the Mohammadan faith which in recent months have been the cause of many terrorising attacks in Europe and elsewhere.

Luckily for the two men, the two nuns attacked, Sisters Josephine and Catherina, are reported to have recovered from their attack, which resulted in only minor bruising with no broken bones or lasting injuries believed to have sustained. The abbess, Mother Maria Fidelis, said that she 'gives thanks to the Lord for the swift recovery' and that she hopes 'the people responsible for the attack are brought to justice anon'. Locals have reported the clearance of vegetation from the abbey walls and the installation of a wooden trellis at the top of the wall. It is believed that these are intended to deter intruders.

Foreign Mohammadans, though the practice of Mohammadanism is prohibited for subjects of His Majesty the King, are allowed to enter the Kingdom for tourism, diplomacy or business without any restrictions, excepting the prohibition on wearing Mohammadan religious clothing or promoting the religion publically. The two men are known to have entered the country legally as tourists. They are currently in gaol will face the Court of Petty Sessions in a week's time and will likely be imprisoned for a short period before being deported back to France.

AD XII KAL DEC MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Requiescat in pace
HIS MAJESTY the King has issued a statement regarding the death of his cousin, Her Royal Highness Princess Juliette on Wednesday, November the 6th this year. The Regal Post reproduces his short notice hereinafter.

My Kingdom and I, King Alexander II of Nortend, Cardoby and Hambria, have both lost a great and exceeding virtuous princess, friend, daughter and cousin last week. Whereas her life was long and fruitful and she was well-loved and highly regarded by most of my subjects, we must remember her body is but merely mortal but her soul immortal. I pray for her soul and hope that all shall do so as well and she shall surely ascend to heaven as all who follow the Lord shall. Requiescat in pace.

Temperatures plummet as winter draws closer
THE temperature across most of Great Nortend this week has decreased dramatically as the country slips further into the chilling throes of winter-time. From only a month ago with pleasant autumnal weather with temperatures around 46°, the warmest recorded temperature to-day is reportedly far South at Milesea End with a relatively balmy 42°.

The cool temperatures have resulted in an influx of shoppers rushing to purchase thick yarns, fabrics and cloths, as well as extra fuel to stock up for the predicted coldest winter in five years. Stocks of good fire-wood and coal are apparently lower than what would be comfortable, however there is believed to be no possibility of running out in the near future. The coppiced fuel forests and woods, though only 30 percent harvested, cannot be harvested now as the wood needs to be seasoned before use.

Heavy snowfall in the North has blocked railways and roads and caused a number of important rivers and canals to freeze over. The Northern Main Line from Rhise to Alminster is completely blocked by snowfall and is expected to remain so for a number of weeks. The Regal Post recommends to its readers that they plan their journeys appropriately by telephoning the Board of Rail on 0 267 and avoid travelling in poor weather.

A D VI KAL DEC MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Snow wreaks havoc
LAST night's heavy snowfall is thought to be the heaviest recorded in Nortend for over two decades, with households all across the country waking up to a chilly morning to be spent shovelling snow from paths. The Chief Master of the Meteorological Board this morning told the Regal Post that snow drifts of over 2′ 3″ were reported in Seffet and Redwickshire and up to 1′ 5″ near Lendert and in Enley, making it thicker than the previous record of 2′1″ set in the winter of 1995, though Lendert itself had comparatively less snowfall and more rain.

It is believed at least two people have died as a result of the intense cold last night, when temperatures reached down to minus two degrees. The Regal Post warns its readers of the dangers of the cold and recommends people check upon elderly neighbours and relatives to ensure their safety. The heavy snowfall has also threatened the lives of hundreds of sheep across the country's fields and pastures, with shepherds having a full-job ahead rescuing their flocks from the drifts, not aided by the sub-zero temperatures and blistering winds.

The thickness and heaviness of the snow also caused considerable damage to property, with at least five houses believed to have collapsed due to the weight of snow. Mains water pipes froze and burst across most of the countrye, causing families to be left without water. The deep drifts blocked roads and railways all across the country and workmen are still trying to clear the roads although it is not believed this will be completed until late to-night. The Board of Rail have cancelled all scheduled passenger and goods train services, with only the post and crucial supplies being delivered, coupled with locomotives clearing the tracks with snow-ploughs.

Most state day schools across the country have been closed for Saturday with pupils given a day off due to the weather. The Church has announced that any people in want of shelter or supplies may be afforded the same at their local church and vicarage or rectory, with all parish priests given the duty to look after their parishioners.

In response to the unavailing conditions, the GPO has declared exigent circumstances and estimate that letters and parcels will be delivered up to a week late. Telephone land telephone lines all across the country have also been cut, with snow and fallen trees damaging telegraph poles and wires. The Postmaster-General asked that 'customers be patient during this difficult period'. The blockage is likely to delay the numerous Christmas cards which have been posted from the start of Advent, although thankfully the major rush of Christmas post has not yet come. The Postmaster-General reassured the country that 'the GPO will do everything to ensure all Christmas cards, parcels and letters arrive at their destinations on or before Christmas Eve if posted by St Thomas' Day.'

A D V KAL DEC MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Palace opens Modelling Room to public
THE Palace of St Michaelsgate are to open the famous Royal Modelling Room to the public for five days starting to-morrow. The room is housed in the caverous Oak Hall, a 19th century pleasure hall located in the grounds of the palace. The Palace's Curator of the Railway Gallery, Mr Derek Hassing, explained to the Regal Post the history of the room and connection with the railways.

'Our late King Henry the Sixth, then the Duke of Morney, first developed a passion for the railways in middle of the 19th century and commissioned a large collection of highly detailed scale models for his own pleasure. This collection grew from there, with King Henry's children and cousins, and later monarchs all contributing the large model now housed and displayed in the Oak Hall'.

When one enters the Oak Hall through its massive oaken doors, the sheer scale of the miniature landscape astounds. Green grass and quaint villages make way for a busy town, all in the space of 230 yards. The miniature world, which is open to the public only ten times a year, is built, maintained and designed by the Railway Gallery's staff in conjunction with the King and the rest of the Royal Family. The Regal Post was lucky enough to be afforded 'behind-the-scenes' access to the Modelling Room as part of the 160th year since the first model locomotives and rolling stock were commissioned by the Prince.

Off the hall there is a small workshop where Mr Hassing and his model-maker men design, build, paint and finish every single steam locomotive, truck, van, carriage, house, tree and building seen on the model railway. The scale of the railway is known as 'O' scale, which is ¼ inches to the foot.

The Modelling Room is open from Monday to Friday, from 10 am to 5 pm. Tickets are required and may be bought from the ticket stand outside the Lordgate entrance to the Palace.

A D PRID NON DEC MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Activists demand sign change

The current road signs used in Nortend

Road signs proposed by the NGA

THE outspoken 'Nortan Globalisation Association' to-day announced a new movement to change Nortan road signs to comply with international standards. Road signs found in many other European countries comply with a 1965 international treaty known as the Vienna Convention on Road Signs and Signals that mandate a universal style of road signage to be used in all signatory countries. Great Nortend has so far not signed the treaty nor has the government indicated it intends to and there does not seem to be much public support or even knowledge of the issue.

The chairman of the Nortan Globalisation Association, Mr Cecil Sealsman, claimed that 'Nortan clings onto its outdated and obsolete signs. They are inconvenient for the users of the roads and dangerous for those from overseas.' It is true that foreign tourists often have difficulty understanding our road signs especially if they have little knowledge of English, however whether or not their understanding of road signs is important is debatable, given that tourists do not typically drive themselves, and would typically hail a carriage or use public transport.

The current road sign design was first used in the United Kingdom, although road signs previously used in Great Nortend were rather similar, both road signs having originated in cycling and motor car associations in the 19th and early 20th centuries. The familiar red triangles and circles, known to every school-boy and girl in the country were introduced by the Board of Highways in 1935, following a joint recommendation by the Royal Cycling Club and the Motoring Association.

Road signs are used on Great Nortend to warn, order and prohibit. Triangles give a warning, rings an order and solid discs a prohibition. Halt signs are a triangle in a circle too. They are most often seen in built-up areas where traffic, both horse-drawn and motor, is high and where it must be controlled to prevent an accident. There are also a large number of warning signs scattered across the country and countryside warning drivers, riders, motorists and cyclists alike to beware of a variety of dangers including sharp bends, steep hills, fords and hidden intersections.

The Great Nortan Society hit back at the movement, asserting in a public statement that 'We must never bend over ourselves to suit the whims of the rest of the world whilst sacrificing our own uniqueness and culture'. It had also previously criticised the ill-fated 'UpdateNortain project' which was scrapped after lack of enthusiasm and the arrest of its project manager. It is believed that the replacement of all of the current road signs would cost over £30,000, not including the cost of labour and the chaos it would cause in our busy cities and towns.

A spokesman for the King's Clerk, told the Regal Post in a telegram that 'BOR (Board of Road) NOT PRESENTLY PLANNING CHANGING ROAD SIGNS IN NORTEND.'

A D III ID DEC MMXVI · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

King and Archbishops announce travelling choir
HIS MAJESTY the King and the Archbishops of Limmes, Sulthey and Rhise to-day announced that the choirs of the Chapel Royal, St Peter's Cathedral, Benley College, St Michael Minster, Limmes Abbey, St James's Cathedral, Polton Cathedral, Rhise Minster, St Leam's Cathedral, Quilden Abbey, and Sulthey Cathedral would over Advent and into Christmastide travel all across Great Nortend in order to sing to and make merry parishioners at the numerous churches across His Majesty's Dominion that are lacking in a choir during this period of celebration of the Saviour's birth.

His Grace the Archbishop of Sulthey said in a publicised statement that 'Whereas many of the people are unable to enjoy themselves with the music of our Church in years past at this time, His Majesty the King is pleased to make ready provision of the choir of the Chapel Royal, and the Archbishops and Bishops and Deans the choirs of great number of cathedrals and abbeys to all parishes which are needing or in want of the aforementioned'.

The choristers, in total made up of one-hundred-and-twenty-six boys and ninety-two men, are scheduled to visit 103 parish churches across most of Great Nortend to sing Vespers and Compline as well as participate carol services such as the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols, the Twelve Carols and Christmas Carol Concerts.

A large number of Cardican parishes currently do not have a choir. The Archbishops of Limmes, Sulthey and Rhise have together increased their focus on choirs and aim to recruit to each parish at least four boy choristers and three men. It is estimated that around 1,300 parishes do not have a permanent choir, and rely on the parson to lead the congregation in singing. A large number of cathedral choristers receive choral scholarships to cathedral schools, and parish choirs often are recruited from local schools, an arrangement that is thought to be benefiting of both parties.

It has been a bone of contention in recent years both abroad and within Nortend on the ban on female choristers, which critics have deemed 'archaic' and even 'sexist'. Despite this, there are no plans by the Church to change this matter of canon law and it is not expected to pass the House of Lords should it ever arise as an issue.

A D XVIII KAL IAN MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Foreign delegates to arrive for carols
VISITORS from countries all around the world will be arriving to-morrow to go to the renowned Festum Navitatis cum Decem Hymnis, the annual Nativity Festival with Ten Hymns. The service, which is attended by thousands and listened to by millions on the radio is held every year at the Cathedral Church of St Peter's in Lendert, and His Majesty the King has this year invited representatives from across the world to attend.

The service tells the story of the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ through ten readings, interspersed with ten hymns which are sung by the congregation and the choir, and a five carols which are sung only by the choir, which is cathedral choir of St Peter's, who have, in red cassocks and white surplice, sung at the Festum for over a 150 years.

To many, attending the service is the highlight of a lifetime. Only 3240 people are able to be in the congragation, the tickets being distributed throughout the country through the 13,424 parishes randomly.

With the current global threat from Mohammadanism, the Porter of the Cathedral, Mr Sussham, has assured the public that there should be no danger posed by the service to any person or persons involved. To this end, the Regal Post believes the King's City Guard, the City Police Constabulary as well as the St Peter's Cathedral Crown Constabulary will be patrolling the area for any person of malicious intent.

'This iconic service, where the story of the nativity is told with carols and hymns accompanying is one of the most popular services in Great Nortend', said the Lord Mayor of Lendert, the Right Reverend the Lord Bishop of Lendert and Cadell. 'It is a pleasure to be able to share it with the world'.

A D XVIII KAL FEB MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Lion flies over Michaelsgate once again

HIS MAJESTY the King has returned to Lendert-with-Cadell. after spending his winter at the Castle of Hameford. The Royal Standard was to-day seen flying on the flag-pole of the Palace of St Michaelsgate shortly after noon by passers-by, one of whom included a Regal Post journalist, Mr J. Hessock. He had taken the Royal Train down from Hameford to St Michaelsgate railway station and thither to the Palace by coach.

The King on every even-numbered year, as was the Year of Our Lord 2016, spends two months around Advent, Christmastide and Epiphanytide at the Royal Castle of Hameford with the Queen consort, Her Majesty Queen Jane, the Prince of Rhise and the Princess Royal.

On odd-numbered years, he traditionally goes to the Piddequer in Esxshire. His Majesty when he is at Hameford frequently attends church at St Joseph's Church, a Royal Peculier, which is located in the grounds of the Castle estate. He was reported to have attended this year on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, the Circumcision of Christ, Epiphany and on the Baptism of the Lord for regular services, however was seen praying with Her Majesty Queen Jane by parishioners at other occasions as is his wont and the Regal Post urges all of its most worthy readers to follow the pious example which has been set by our Sovereign and his most gracious family.

His Majesty after his arrival at the Palace is believed to have hosted the Right Honourable Duke of Limmes, our gracious Prime Minister, and discussed various matters of Government for the afternoon. The Regal Post is of the belief that Their Majesties are scheduled to go to a performance of the Royal Lerdenstone Philharmonic Orchestra on the first public performance of the newest Symphony No. 23 in A major by the esteemed Nortan composer Sir James Amham.

A D X KAL FEB MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

King of Reino do Brazil in coma
KING Manuel I of the People of Reino do Brazil has slipped into a coma, according to the Reino News Agency. The sixty-nine-year-old King, who recently acceded to the throne of the Brazilian throne after the untimely death of the erstwhile King Luis-Filipe I at the age of sixty-eight.

According to reports from the South American country, His Majesty is alive but not responding to stimuli. It is not known at this time the cause of his illness or whether or not he will recover and awake from his coma.

The Prime-Minister of Reido do Brazil has proclaimed Maria, the Crown Princess and Lady of the Amazons as the incumbent. King Alexander II is believed to have already sent a letter of commiserations to the Princess.

FRIDAY · 10 MARCH MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

GOVERNMENT PLEDGES £40,000 FOR CADETS

HIS MAJESTY'S Government to-day announced that the Government will allocate an additional £40,000 to the War Office and Board of Education for the continued support of the King's Cadet Corps, which is also funded by the Royal Servicemen's Club and the Erbonian Navy League, have in recent years experienced a surge in support from local schools and organisations.

“The Government is pleased to announce this injection of much-needed money for the continued development of our nation's young children,” said the Master of the Board of Education, Dr. Thomas Wolfuller, in an announcement this mornint at the Circle of Calbend, which was also attended by His Royal Highness Prince Edmund, the Prime Minister, senior officers of the Army and Royal Navy, and senior officers of the Cadet Corps.

The announcement comes after rumours circulating within detachments that firearms training would be reduced and the current duty uniform replaced by a cheaper cadet 'outfit'. Contrary to these rumours, the Regal Post is able to report that the Master of Cadets, Major-General Sir Stephen Daldey, has confirmed that the current duty uniform will remain and that firearms will continue to be taught as it is now. Cadets learn how to use and clean the Devenson General Use Rifle Mk. V, an older version of the rifle used in the Royal Army and Navy Royal; however, it is modified to be not able to be used with ammunition and only under supervision.

Firearms training in particular have raised the ire of some members of the public, who are concerned that allowing children to learn to use firearms would result in danger to the public. The Chairman of the 'Erbonians Peace and Love', Mr. W. H. Allans, told the Regal Post that 'it is a great stain on our nation that we are training up young children effectively into boy soldiers. It is a disgrace that the government is allocating even more money to these bogs of militarism and warfare. We call on the Duke of Limmes to abolish the Corps and to replace it with more peaceful associations such as the Scouting programmes which have seen success in other countries'.

Despite this hostility to the programmes from some people, most members of the public and senior figures approve. In a recent polling conducted by the Army, 84 per cent of all adults surveyed agreed that the cadet programm was 'beneficial to children and society in general' and 92 per-cent agreed that it should not be abolished. The Chairman of the Independent Schools Association, the Rev'd Dr. S. J. Little said that 'the independent schools of Great Nortend understand and recognise the immense benefit the Cadet Corps have to our boys'.

Over 500,000 children are members of the Cadet Corps in around 1800 individual cadet companies all around the country.

A D XVI KAL APR MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

[size=150]BREAKING NEWS: Public Protest Postal Proposals

MASSIVE protests have erupted over the controversial entrance of the foreign 'FedEx' company into Great Nortend this month. Scores of both postmen and ordinary people have taken to the streets of towns and cities all over the country to protest against what they believe is gross disrespect to Great Nortend and her people. FedEx, which is a multi-national company specialising in courier delivery of parcels recently entered the Nortan market with the opening of its first offices in Lendert this month. The company, which is supported by His Majesty's Opposition, has come under fire for criticising the General Post Office's effective monopoly on the letters and parcel market and argued that it should be abolished and replaced by a free-market of individual postal companies.

The Right Honourable Lord Frenton has severely criticised the company, calling the Government-sanctioned opening of a free market a 'dangerous precedent to set' in a domain that has been in the control of the Crown and Government for over half a millenium, and it seems the public of Great Nortend agree. Tourists and residents alike sheltered frightened in their rooms and houses as they were deafened from the high streets and high roads outside by the combined chants of hundreds of people protesting the change.

Rioting broke out at some of the protests in Lendert and other major towns, with fifteen people arrested for breach of the peace and another twenty-seven cautioned, according to the Home Office. The Prime Minister, His Grace the Duke of Limmes, said in a brief message, 'Whilst we can all admire and respect peaceful protest, the Government and people of Great Nortend do not and will not tolerate violence therein'. The Government has otherwise refused to comment on the protests and the entrance of FedEx into the domestic market in general.

'No Private Post Office', protesters in Didwick chanted according to our journalist there, whilst in Lendert the air ringed with cries of 'Halt Capitalist Mail Now!' and 'Do the Yanks care about us?'. Despite these fierce protests, the Chief Executive Officer (i.e. Director in the American tongue) Mr Frederick W. Smith has refused to budge, claiming the untapped markets of Great Nortend have for too long been under the hand and rule of the GPO and would benefit from a freer market. Despite these claims, FedEx has in many countries around the world caused a massive upset in the postal market with its aggresively low fees squeezing out competition. Some protesters to-day hope that by taking to the streets, they are able to show a clear message to FedEx that they are not welcome here. In the words of one young man, 'We do not need, nor want you so go away'.

A D V KAL APR MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Calls for free trade highten

GLOBALISM and free trade has been touted by a prominent Devernian as the solution for Great Nortend's traditionally mercantile trading system. Mr Brian Sumtonbum, a well-known public expert on trade and the economy in Devernia has called for Great Nortend to abolish tariffs and import duties from other countries. Devernia, which courted controvery in 2016 with the failed 'UpdateNortain' programme, is a large proponent of free trade, with its economic policy being to promote free trade with other countries, however with strong business and corporation controls ostensibly for 'the safety of the people'.

Mr Sumtonbum argued in the popular Royal Broadcasting Office wireless debating programme, The Disputation, that Great Nortend would benefit from increased free trade. Referencing the failed UpdateNortain project, Mr Sumtonbum said that '[he] hopes that he will live to see the citizens of Great Nortend be offered a chance to enter the modern world through free trade rather than force'. His proposal, a copy of which was sent to the Regal Post, outlines his plans for a free-trade Nortend.

Under current rules, most imports of goods have heavy tariffs placed on them, up to fifty per cent in some cases. As a result, domestic businesses have little to no international competition resulting in lack of compliance with international standards and guidelines. Mr Sumtonbum suggested that 'with free trade, Nortan businesses are opened to the rest of the world, assisted greatly by the English tongue in which Nortans have adopted'. Whether or not current bans on most food products that are currently produced in Great Nortend will remain under Mr Sumtonbum's proposals was not clear, although he had implied that they would too be abolished or at least weakened under his plan.

Mr Sumtonbum has also called for greater implementation of international standards, citing the Nortan Catherinian system of weights and measurements as a prime example of where domestic standards are incompatible with the outside world. 'Devernia has long embraced the international—the global—standard of metric SI (Système international) units of metres, kilogrammes and Newtons. Great Nortend needs to join the rest of the world, both in its economy and in its standards'.

His calls have been echoed by a number of educated Nortans, such as Professor Luke Sandham, a fellow of Huntly College of the University of Rhise. 'How it is possible that we are still effectively living in the mediæval period when it comes to trade. The future is the world, and the future is here already.' Sir Bartholomew Walters, the chairman of the Royal Nortan Society also agreed with Mr Sumtonbum's proposal, citing the need for solidarity with other countries in such a time of terrorism and uncertainty and the need for Nortans to 'step out of the wading pool and into the paddling pool at least'.

Despite this, there are some concerns that it would result in effectively 'UpdateNortain 2·0', with prominent anti-UpdateNortain campainer, Lord Grover, the Earl of Siel, calling the plans 'feeble' and suggested that they would 'not open Nortan businesses to the wider world but rather allow an invasion of foreign businesses into our nation'. His comments have echoed the recent costernation regarding the entrance of American company 'FedEx' into the Nortan courier market. Mr Sumtonbum has been contacted for comment, however has not replied as of printing.

A D IV KAL APR MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Hatters relish the changing seasons

WITH the last tongues of the chills of winter slipping away behind our nation as May Day looms only a month away, hatters and milliners all across the country are eagerly anticipating the inevitable rush to buy new hats for the season. This winter, having been on record as one of the coldest for over two decades. The season which started on the 25th of November last year with a heavy load of snow has seen snow, snow and more snow along with plummeting temperatures reaching nearly minus ten degrees Fahrenheit in the deep of winter.

The sun has come out however, with the first day's maximum over 70 of the year to-day in many parts of the country. The felt hats which were purchased en masse last November and December in the windows of hatters in our High Streets have been replaced with new stocks of straw and summer hats, fresh from the straw-hat-making regions in Cardoby, Barminstershire and Suthrepourdeland.

One of our editors, Mr J. C. Williams, has dazzled the newsroom with his particularly outlandish hats for many years now. This year, it is apparent that the ribbon of his boater hat has been replaced by what has to be a schoolboy's tie, for it is of a most curiously undulating width and bears the crest of Woolham School, of which he was pupil until 1964.

Despite however the recent temperature rises, Great Nortend is predicted to experience a cold week ahead, with high temperatures of a maximum of only 60 degrees for most of the country. Therefore, the Regal Post does not recommend that you return your felt hats to their boxes quite yet, but to wait until this 'last blast' of winter has passed.

A D V ID APR MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Queen of Reino do Brazil dead
THE REGAL POST is greatly saddened to bear the news that at 3·45 in the morning, Her Brazilian Majesty, Maria, Queen of Reino do Brazil, Lady of the Amazons, passed away at Loureiro Hospital in the City of New Frontier. The cause of her death is unknown, however it is believed it is due to complications owing to a heart attack Her late Majesty sufferred only two days ago, purportedly caused by her fondness and excessive consumption of 'cheese, chorizo and butter' which are foods known to when eaten in excess result in gluttonous illnesses of body.

The Prime-Minister of the South American country, Bernardo Ahrenz de Tavora, joined hundreds of mourners at the hospital as an influx of her subjects are expected to descend to pay their respects to their late lady Sovereign, overseen by an anti-terrorism task force. The coffin of Her Majesty is expected to be borne by Reino do Brazilian Air Force officers from the hospital to the Pantheon of the Braganza-Alvellos. The erstwhile Prince Luis, now the Lord Sovereign and King of Reino do Brazil was in Lavos attending the annual agricultural fair when news of the Queen's death reached him. Upon his return to the City of New Frontier, it is reported that Mr Ahrenz de Tavora bowed afore him and welcomed him with 'Your Majesty'.

The funereal tradition of the nation involving a ritual between the Archbishop and a person on the other side of the Pantheon door. According to theAgência de Noticias do Reino, once the coffin bearing the body of Her Majesty is at the Pantheon door, the Archbishop will knock three times. A voice from the other side will enquire as to who is there. The Archbishop will reply, 'It is Maria, Queen of the People of Reino do Brazil, Lady of the Amazons'. The door will remain closed and again the voice will ask, 'Who is there?'. Again the Archbishop will reply, 'Maria Queen of Reino do Brazil'. Still, the door will remain closed. Then yet again, the voice asks, 'Who is there?' This time, the Archbishop will reply, 'Maria, a poor sinner'. Hence, the door of the Pantheon will open in order to receive the coffin.

His Majesty King Alexander II of Great Nortend has sent his profound condolences to Reino do Brazil, who has suffered through the deaths of two monarchs in recent years. Though it has not been revealed what exactly was sent, the Regal Post believes it expresses his deep sorrow and best wishes for the new King and for his peoples. Government flags have been ordered to half-mast until overmorrow noon and half state-mourning has been declared by the Lord Chamberlain until Thursday. The Editor of the Regal Post and every person working therefor hopes that Queen Maria's subjects will remain strong and that they, during this mourning period, will remember her forever and are sure that subjects of His Majesty the King will show proper respect and afford support to those in grief.

A D X KAL MAI MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Prince of Rhise to attend Allord
HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS Edmund, Prince of Rhise, will attend Allord College next year, according to reports from the Palace. The famous Enley public school refused to comment on Prince Edmund's admission, however informed the Regal Post that 'pupils commonly enter the school between their tenth and eleventh birthdays'.

It has been suggested that Prince Edmund has shown himself to be highly academically minded with reports coming from the Palace of St Michaelsgate that the King was 'decidedly pleased' with the Prince's term report from his private tutor. Princess Henrietta is reportedly similarly academically gifted, excelling in her studies of French, History and German, with intricate needlepoint one of her favourite hobbies being fostered at Caraham School where she is completing her senior years of schooling.

The ancient Royal public school of Allord is one of the most prestigious in the country. More than ten monarchs have been taught in its buildings, which range from a converted 14th century monastery to a 20th century Carolinian library. His Majesty was a former pupil there, where he was a well-regarded member of the College's rowing eights. The school has recently started repair work on its 15th century Gothic chapel, to which His Majesty the King believed to have donated £1,500.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:37 am

A D IV NON MAI MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Candle manufacturer receives Royal Warrant
THE famous Marcastrian candle company, Willet and Dakes, have been bestowed a Royal Warrant by His Royal Highness Prince Arthur. The company, which has held a Royal Warrant from His Majesty the King since 2005, has held seven warrants of appointment including those from Their Majesties our late Queen Catherine II and Kings George II and Edmund IX. The managing director of Willet and Dakes, Mr Stanwit Dakes, Esquire, said, 'It is a great and immense honour for the Company to receive this Royal Warrant of Appointment by His Royal Highness'. Prince Arthur said at the ceremony that 'the dedicated service and outstanding craftsmanship of Willet and Dakes to the Castle of Hameford is recognised by this warrant'.

Willet and Dakes begun as a small chandler's shop in Marcaster owned by the proprietor Mr James Willet in 1698. Merging with H. C. Dakes in 1834, it has been owned and directed by the Dakes and Willet families for over 300 years. Nowadays, it produces a variety of quality candles and candlesticks. It is especially well-known for producing the highly decorated silver-gilt state candlesticks and candles used by St Peter's Cathedral which are laboriously formed, carved and painted by skilled craftsmen in the 18th century building in which the company is based.

The company has provided candles and candlesticks of all lengths, sizes and standard to the Royal Family since the 19th century. It famously produces the ten-foot tall, three inch in diameter All Saints' Day candles used in the procession, as well as intricately carved wooden candlesticks that grace many a home in the Realm.

Willet and Dakes have recently announced a net yearly profit of 32 thousand pounds for 2016, a strong increase from the 25 thousand pound profits it posted for 2015. Mr Dakes said that the firm may be looking to expand its range in the future.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:37 am

A D VI KAL IUN MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS
B R E A K I N G N E W S

The Marcount of Harringow dies in his sleep
THE REGAL POST has been informed by the Palace this morning at 7·33 by telegramme that His Highness Prince Michael, The Marcunt of Harringow passed away during the night peacefully in his bedchamber at the age of eighty-nine. The Prince was the second eldest son of King Edmund IX and brother of King George the Second and was born on the 7th of August, 1928 and christened Henry Michael Alexander. His Royal Highness wed Lady Isabella Ellice, now the Dowager Marcountess of Harringow, in 1951, having three children, Their Highnesses Prince Giles, Princess Clementine and Prince George.

His Highness was believed to have become increasingly frail in his advancing years owing to rheumatism and had reduced the number of public appearances. However, up to his sad passing, the Prince was the Royal Patron of over fifty associations including the Royal Tobbing Society, the Royal Toleshire Hunt, and the Royal Carolinian Society, as well as Patron of over twenty associations in Harringow such as the Harringow Civic Association, the Harringow Company of Glassware Makers and the Royal Count of Harringow’s Regiment.

The Prince leaves his eldest son and heir, His Highness Prince Giles the March of Harringow, as well as his large collection of paintings, books and maps. The Manor and Lordship of Arningforth will also pass into Prince Giles's hands, along with its six hundred and twenty nine acres of land and one-hundred and seven inhabitants of whom he is now Lord of the Manor. Also inherited by Prince Giles will be the Counties of Yawsough, Swent and Frogmarsh.

Prince Michael is expected to receive a full heraldic funeral at the Cathedral Church of Saint Peter. There has yet to be an official public statement from the Palace or His Majesty the King, who is the late prince's grandnephew.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:38 am

A D V ID IUN MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Voting begins in the General Election
THE GENERAL Election has begun to-day, with voting have commenced at 7·00 in all 586 constituencies returning a member to the Houses of Burgesses and Knights all over Great Nortend as well as the 62 university constituencies electable to the House of Lords. Voting is expected to conclude at 9·00 across the country, however those in the queue to vote at the time will still be permitted to vote. Voting is compulsory for all subjects over the age of majority and voluntary for subjects sixteen years or older and all citizens.

The Droughs have recently been under pressure with the release of their party's programme late last year which revealed plans to reduce or even abolish tariffs for foreign countries that protect Nortan companies and subjects, as well as allow the formal decriminalisation of sodomy and buggery. The warden of the party, Lord Sceller of Stavenson also recently sufferred a number of setbacks including the party rejection of his proposed policies of reducing the number of policemen in the constabularies as well as allowing divorces without going to court.

Recent polling by L. K. Warton's for the Royal Broadcasting Office suggest that the Scodes and Conservative Coalition will return a majority of over 50 seats in the Commons and take up to 42 of the university constituencies, an increase over the 23-seat majority it holds currently, with the Droughs and Plines expected to lose over 25 seats in the North. Polls have shewn a relatively constant level of support for the Coalition since the end of last year in March when there was a crash in the Drough vote and it is predicted that the Prime Minister will be able to form a Government again with ease.

The Prime Minister, the Duke of Limmes, has been said to be optimistic for his party's success in the Commons and in the Lords. 'We are confident that His Majesty's subjects and citizens will vote to maintain the strong, successful and safe country the Coalition has maintained for the last eight years.'

Whether the polls and confidence will manifest in actual votes and seats for the Coalition remains to be seen, as heavy rain is predicted to reduce citizen turnout throughout the South, however the Archbishop of Sulthey encouraged all citizens to vote to-day in a statement from the Palace. His Grace quoted Deuteronomy 1·13, saying ' "Take you wise men, and understanding, and known among your tribes, and I will make them rulers over you.” Voting is a civic duty for all Christians'. Subjects are required to vote, however there is typically only a 98 per cent turnout for subjects. Subjects of His Majesty are liable to a fine of ten pounds twelve shillings for failure to vote. The Regal Post echoes the sentiments expressed by His Grace and urges all of its readers to do their duty of voting.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:38 am

A D IV ID IUN MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Coalition triumph
THE Scodes and Conservative Coalition have won an outright majority of 53 seats in the Commons and a total of 38 seats in the Lords, with three seats yet to be declared. The Droughs however have faired better than expected, losing only 22 seats to the Coalition. The independent Plines however lost six seats, leaving only eight independents left in the Commons.

Despite the poor weather, there has been a citizen turnout rate of 62·4 per cent, an increase from 60·8 per cent in the previous general election. Subject turnout was lower however, with only 97·2 per cent braving the weather to cast their ballots. The Royal Electoral Commission has indicated that it will be pursuing the approximately nine hundred thousand subjects that failed to vote, with the threat of a fine of up to £10 for each.

The warden of the Scodes and the incumbent Prime Minister, the Duke of Limmes, addressed the public after he returned from St Michael'sgate in order to receive the Sword of State and to kiss His Majesty's hand. His Grace promised the country that 'His Majesty's Government will continue to put the interests of the Nortan people first and continue to maintain our safe, prosperous and secure land'.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:38 am

A D XVII KAL IUL MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Diplomacy resumes with Hindia Belanda
DIPLOMATIC talks have resumed with the Commonwealth of Hindia Belanda after the severation of relations for over a year, with the delivery of an unexpected letter from the Governor-General of Hindia Belanda, His Excellency Mohammed Salim, to the Palace. The frosty relations with the Commonwealth, which is a constituent country in the Kingdom of the Netherlands, are believed to have arisen owing to the lack of religious freedom afforded to the mainly Mohammedan Hindia Belandan ex-patriates in Great Nortend, although the Commonwealth Ministry for Foreign Affairs declined to specify in detail the cause.

The suspended Hindia Belandan legation has been by King Willem-Alexander elevated to an embassy, thought to be as a signal to herald a new æra in Erbo-Belandan relations. The new Hindia Belandan Ambassador is set to arrive in Lendert in a fortnight, bearing letters of credence to the Palace. The erstwhile Hindia Belandan envoy to Great Nortend, Her Excellency Elisa van Dijk has also lent her support to the restoration of diplomatic relations with Great Nortend, praising the Commonwealth's initiative saying 'I think it’s a considerate move on our part to restart [diplomatic relations] with the Nortans'.

However she shewed concerns that more needed to be done by Nortend and the Commonwealth together to try and achieve harmony between the two countries. Van Dijk, who was head of the legation during the diplomatic crisis, urged the Commonwealth government that 'it is an absolute must to do more to improve the situation for the tiny few Hindia Belandans who live there, lest we face the same setback that severed our relations with them last year'. Her Excellency also touched on the issue of 'Islamic radicalisation', or extreme Mohammedanism as it is known in Great Nortend, saying that '[The Commonwealth Government] must fully dialogue with the Nortan Government on our shared issue of [extreme Mohammedanism] and to shew that Hindia Belanda is willing to build a comprehensive partnership on this.'

The Right Honourable George Drachington, the Foreign Secretary, told the Regal Post that His Majesty's Government is very pleased to be able to welcome Hindia Belanda again to Great Nortend and to resume diplomatic relations. 'We believe that it is possible to build our relations with Hindia Belanda and we hope to reach an agreeable situation with the Commonwealth's Government in the near future'. He agreed with Her Excellency that 'Mohammedan terror has become a great threat in Europe' and assured the Commonwealth Government that 'His Majesty's Government will seek to ensure that together we are able to jointly fight this growing evil'.

A major problem thought to have triggered what has been called in Nortan diplomatic circles, the 'Hindian Incident', is the poor treatment of Hindia Belandans in Great Nortend. Being a mostly Mohammedan nation, it is believed that their lack of freedom to practise Mohammedanism, or Islam, in Great Nortend was seen as infringing on their religious rights, which ultimately resulted in around thirty Hindia Belandans leaving the country as well as the suspension of the mission.

The possibiliy of the watering down of the laws proscribing the practice of Mohammedanism and various other activities related have been highly controversial, with many in Lerdenstone (the seat of the Nortan Parliament) believing Mohammedanism to be directly at odds with the Nortan way of life. Though it is already presently legal for foreigners, including Hindia Belandan expatriates, to practise Mohammedanism privately, they are still unable to access welfare, apply for permanent residency, apply for citizenship or subjectship or testify in courts, owing to their faith being prohibited under statute.

However whilst it is unlikely Mohammedans will be permitted to apply for citizenship or subjectship in the near future, the Coalition government has indicated it is willing to allow an exception for foreigners resident in Great Nortend on certain charta visas to testify in court through affidavit sworn under the God shared by all three Abrahamic religions and saying in its recent election programme that it wishes to 'ensure justice is accessible for all people in Great Nortend'.

by **Great Nortend** » Sun Jul 09, 2017 4:27 am

AD VII ID JUL. MMXVII A.D. · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

A message from the Regal Post
ON this day, the day of the birth of Our Sovereign His Majesty King Alexander the Second, the Editor-in-Chief, general editors, sub-editors, typesetters, journalists and printers of His Majesty's Most Honourable Regal Post wish His Majesty a safe, happy and joyous birthday and convey unto His Majesty our great affection and deep reverence we hold for him.

God save the King!

King's Day ceremony, pageantry and pomp
HIS MAJESTY the King to-day took part in Royal Mattins, as part of his birthday celebrations. Conducted at the Royal Peculier Church of St Michael, located directly opposite the famous Blue Gates of the Palace by the Canon-in-Ordinary, His Majesty has participated in the centuries-old tradition since he himself was Prince of Rhise nearly thirty years ago.

Early in the morning there were suggestions it might rain which would have though somewhat dampened public spirits, would not have otherwise affected the arrangements. The sky, pale grey however, with the blessing of Almight God, cleared by five thirty in the morning when the bells of St Peter's cathedral began to toll. Simultaneously, on the last note, the foot-guards lining the streets and roads of our great capital city of Lendert-proper-with-Cadell-upon-Nort stood to attention, the noise echoing through the streets.

At five fifty-five, His Majesty the King, respendent in his scarlet and gold ceremonial uniform dress and carrying the Sword of State, exited the main gates of St Michael'sgate palace. In a stunning display of drill and precision, upon his passing through the imposing gates, the tenor bell of St Michael's church on the opposite side of the road rung and all the guardsmen in view of His Majesty gave a Royal salute. His Majesty was accompanied by Her Majesty the Queen, His Royal Highness the young Prince of Rhise, Her Royal Highness the Princess Royal and His Royal Highness the Duke of Faunslaughter, as well as the Lamanus King of Arms bearing the Royal Standard and Royal Coat of Arms.

At precisely six am, when the church bells of all of the churches of Great Nortend tolled, His Majesty and the Canon-in-Ordinary of the Royal Peculier of St Michael's entered the church to partake in the Royal Mattins service to great public applause. Of course, silence fell thereafter as the Angelus was recited by all and sundry to the tolls of bells across the city. Royal Mattins, the special version of the liturgy as ordered by King Alexander the First for royal occasions, is conducted entirely in Latin, the language of the Church.

In the afternoon, His Majesty will take part in the King's Birthday Parade and take the salute from over five hundred members of the Nortan Army. After the Royal Mattins service had concluded, His Majesty and the rest of the Royal Family present retired to St Michael'sgate Palace to great public commotion. 'God save the King' the assembled public yelled. 'Long live the King'. We at the Regal Post do too earnestly hope and pray for the same, and trust that His Majesty's loyal subjects abroad and within Great Nortend do so as well, this day of all days.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 15, 2017 7:46 am

ID IUL MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Board of Railways introduces new ticket design
The Board of Railways has introduced a new national railway ticket design, aimed at unifying the separate disparate system of colours and designs used by the various railways. The 1st Lord of Railways, Sir Michael Smith, MP, praised the new system as being 'an essential and much-needed improvement'. The chairmen of the six major railway companies, the Eastern, Lendert and Limmes, Great North and Midston, Great Southern, Swent and Hertstland and Hambrian Railways, issued a joint statement saying that they 'fully support this move to cut costs stemming from a bloated ticketing system'.

The new tickets, which remain at the same standard size of 1¼ inches by 2½ inches as the current tickets are will now be printed at two centralised printing presses at Chepingstow and Limmes instead of at fifty six different printers across the country. Existing ticket stocks will be used up before new tickets are issued, with the Board of Railways having already begun issuing new tickets at the busier stations in cities and towns.

A few samples of the new ticket design

The new tickets have been designed with clarity in mind, with typeface sizes increasing and superfluous text removed. A unified system of stripes and patterned designs has been established as well, to clearly indicate the class of travel and time. The number of individual ticket types has also been reduced, with eight tickets types now printed for different types of travel between two stations instead of the previous forty-eight, a move which is will save more than fifty thousand pounds a year in printing tickets that are rarely used.

Some of the previous ticket types in existence included specially printed half price tickets for specific classes of people such as schoolteachers, the elderly and railwaymen, as well as more bizarre tickets such as those issued by the Lendert and Limmes Railway Company for undertakers, bridegrooms and lunatics on day release. With the new ticket design, specialty tickets will use normal tickets with manual handstamps being used by the booking clerk to apply information regarding the type of ticket. The eight remaining ticket types will comprise of combinations of full fare and half fare and off peak and ordinary tickets in the two different classes of travel.

In more than 80 per cent of railway stations, over 90 per cent of all ticket sales are tickets that make up only 30 per cent of all tickets held in stock. The Board of Railways has also commenced its first audit for five year of ticket stocks at railway stations. The last time such an audit was carried out, tickets dating from the reign of Edmund the Eighth were discovered in numerous booking offices across the country. Those tickets are still being issued to this day at the more than five hundred stations.

A welcomed move has been to reinclude the fare paid onto the ticket itself, after it was controversially removed in the 1990s. The chairman of the Board of Railways, Sir Peter Devlin, said that 'knowing one has paid the correct fare is important for passengers'. 'The Board found that removing the fare resulted in wasted time proving that the fare requested was in fact the actual, official fare and not an attempt to scalp extra money from passengers. We have decided therefore to print the fares on tickets.'

by **Great Nortend** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:36 am

IA D VIII ID DEC MMXVII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

Ditzwarren's to expand abroad
THE luxury departmental ironmongers in Lendert, Ditzwarren's, to-day announced plans for expansion into Britain, Devernia and North America. The Owner and Proprietour of the famous emporium, Mr C. B. Ditzwarren, said in a statement to the Regal Post, 'We believe there is considerable opportunities in Great Britain, Devernia and the Columbiæ for a market of high quality Nortan and European merchandise.' He outlined how the expansion would occur, suggesting that smaller ironmongeries would be established in well-to-do areas specialising in upper-end items. Locations suggested included London, Edinburgh, Manchester, New York and Washington.

The Chairman of the Board of Trade, Lord Fencharm spoke to reporters to-day as well, saying, 'This is an excellent opportunity for Great Nortend to showcase its fine culture of quality merchandise to the rest of the world. We are hopeful that this will bring greater prosperity to our country as a whole'. Lady Fencharm is known to habitually frequent Fitzwarren's, and is said to purchase new gloves there every week.

Ditzwarren's is one of the world's oldest department ironmongers, having first been established in 1743 as Ditzwarren of Shewsden, Ironmongerers, the town ironmongery in Shewsden, just outside the Lendert city walls, by Mr William Ditzwarren. Originally only selling hand-wrought ironware, the shop expanded in 1782 by Mr John Ditzwarren's acquisition of the neighbouring draper and mercer's and then the cabinetmaker's across the street. By the mid 19th century Ditzwarren's boasted over 100 departments selling all and sundry items from French clocks to Canton silks.

Nowadays, it is frequented by the middle and upper of Nortan society, including the landed gentry, company directors, bankers, MPs and lords. It boasts four Royal Warrants of Appointment from His Majesty the King, the Duke of Faunslaughter, the Duke of Dunricia and the Prince of Rhise. Its expansive, four-and-a-half-acre premises on Corthing Street is well-known across Nortan society.

by **Great Nortend** » Sun May 06, 2018 7:22 am

PRID NON MAI MMXVIII · PRESSIT IN LENDORO · CONSTAT DUOBUS DENARIIS

OPINION: Push for decimalisation of currency lacks respect
WE Erbonian subjects are used to international scorn on many counts. The well-known UpdateNortain scandal, with its attempts to bull-horn into our way of life modern trappings of consumerism, is proof of this global derision that appears to be targeted towards our Country. Yesterday, news broke of a concerted push by Australian and British banks to try and convince the Government to abandon the present, admittedly sometimes cumbersome, currency and replace it with a decimalised money. There ought to be great concern by all Nortchmen at this latest attempt to rid Great Nortend of our unique identity and to mould us to conform to the 'modern' ideals of a nation—one resplete with decimalised currency, crass consumerism and most of all, the metric system of units.

The (Australian) Commonwealth Bank, the Australian and New Zealand (ANZ) Bank, Barclays Bank and Lloyd's Bank yester-day released a public letter to His Majesty's Keeper of the Treasury, arguing for a change in the Nortan currency to a decimalised system. Many of the daily readers of this column will no doubt be puzzled by this intervention into our domestic economic affairs. What, pray, is a decimalised currency? Is our currency not already in the base of ten? I would like to take this opportunity to teach those readers confused as to the difference. Great Nortend (and we shall ignore the wetch for now) uses a non-decimal currency system, with the Pound Nort as the base denomination. Subdivisions thereof a, of course as all readers will know, the shilling, penny and farthing. Now, the key point is the fact that subdivisions are not one tenth or one hundredth or one thousandth of the subdivision above it. In fact, they are one twentieth, one twelfth and one quarter respectively, as all schoolchildren should know. In the currencies of many, but not all, countries around the world, these divisions are tenths or hundredths usually, such that there are 100 cents in a North Columbian dollar, and 100 pence in a British pound.

The quartet of banks argued that it was a great difficulty in training their clerks and systems to understand how to convert from their currencies to the Pound Nort, and that the use of such an 'antiquated' system was detrimental to trade and tourism in Great Nortend. I declare my complete and utter devotion to Our unique currency, which stands still proud even after the massacre of the near identical British pound, Irish pound, Australian pound and New Zealand pound in the late 20th century, and the earlier deaths of the French livres, sous, denier, and the Prussian Thaler, Groschen and Pfennig. This system of currency has a long and proud history, dating back to the reign of the great King Charlemagne, and in Great Nortend, is not a mere historical oddity but a symbol of our attachment and respect of our history and traditions.

Indeed, it boils down, not to transactional ease or the idea of keeping up to date with other countries, but rather to a respect of the past. Great Nortend has been long criticised for her isolated views, her old-fashioned practices and her aversion to change by the international community. But it is not a fear of change, but rather a respect of the past, her history and the long and proud lives of Nortchmen and women before us. Queen Elizabeth the Second's Realms may be happy to drop the pound, the shilling and the pence, and even to coin jingles to promote the loss of history, however we Erbonian subjects should not, and will not.

by **Great Nortend** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:33 am

21 JULY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

Wild-life levels return to high
SINCE the last century, our nation's wild-life has been declining exceeding quickly. The turtle dove recorded a twenty three percent decline in population since 1930 in 2010, when the Royal Society for Preservation of the Countryside began its records. The humble great spotted hedgehog was once estimated to have over 23 million individuals in the wild, reduced to only 19 million in 2010. However, welcome news has come from the RSPC to-day, with the Society announcing that of the twelve species estimated to have lost over 15 per cent of their population in 2010 from 1930, six have now shewn growth with another five nearly restored to their 1930s population.

The cheerful news for naturalists comes as a result of a decades-long effort by the Government and the RSPC to grow the numbers of our most vulnerable creatures. The Government-backed hedgrow standards initiative is credited with restoring the population of the lesser tortoiseshell butterfly to near 1930s levels. The butterfly, whose caterpillar only feeds on the leaves of the medlar tree, had been in steep decline with the general decline in popularity of the fruit. However, mass plantings in 2009 of medlar trees, along with other fruit trees, in severely depleted regions has resulted in a near fivefold increase of the colourful butterfly. Another welcome side-effect is the introduction of the humble medlar to a new generation of children. Once derided as 'peasant fruit', the medlar has undergone a renaissance in popularity in the homes of the well-to-do as well as the poor.

The RSPC has also been instrumental in the establishment of new wild-flower meadows and special reserves for our wild-life. Whereas once only thistles and brambles grew in the verges of miles of countryside laneway, nowadays they are full and blooming with new plantings of wild-flowers, including spectacular displays of poppies, cornflowers, buttercups and anemones. You may think our nation's farmers would resent these flowers potentially spreading into their fields and wreaking havoc with crops. In fact, they have mostly converted, with fruit crops and plants reaping the benefits of the large increase in insect pollinators. As for the potential invasion of flowers? Farmers have reported that they find them to have little impact on crop yields, with all but the hay fields requiring little work to rid them of unwanted plants.

However, it has not all been good news for endangered creatures. The red badger, a unique symbol of Cardoby, has further declined in population with the loss of its preferred river-side environment to canalisation and increasing development. The RSPC's spokesman, Mr John Wallance, said that, 'The decline of the red badger is something we can arrest. The Government must implement measures to ensure the riverine environment is not further degraded, and to outlaw the hunting of these iconic creatures.' Red badgers have historically been widely hunted, and they still remain popular for their rich, madder fur.

by **Great Nortend** » Tue Jul 24, 2018 4:53 am

24 JULY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

Pekweng mission resumes
THE REGAL POST is pleased to report to-day that the Honorable Commonwealth of Pekweng has agreed to, in co-ordination with His Majesty's Government, resume diplomatic relations with Great Nortend. The well-publicised incident on the 2nd day of November, 2016, on which day an explosive grenade was thrown into the Pekwengnian mission's chancellery, was the catalyst for the suspension of embassy and recall of the Pekwengnian Ambassador to Great Nortend, Her Excellency Rosalina Javier, who was also badly injured in the attack along with her children and a number of embassy staff.

Following a personal request by His Majesty the King, the President of Pekweng, Rodrigo Santillan, agreed to resume diplomatic relations, which have been stymied by the suspension of the embassy. The new Pekwengnian ambassador, His Excellency Mateo Poblacion, is expected to be arriving in Great Nortend in the next few days, and will present his Letters of Credence to His Majesty at the Palace of St Michael'sgate upon arrival. The Foreign Secretary, the Right Honourable George Drachington, told the Regal Post's journalists that, 'I hail the resumption of diplomatic discussions with the Honorable Commonwealth with great happiness, and hope that the good relations that had subsisted between our two countries theretofore shall now once again continue. I know that His Grace the Prime Minister echoes my sentiments on this day.'

The Regal Post is currently unaware of the current state of health of the erstwhile ambassador, Mrs Javier, or her children, however believes them to be in good health. They did not respond to a request for an interview.

by **Great Nortend** » Fri Jul 27, 2018 2:18 am

26 JULY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

SALFE! Is Barardian undergoing a regional resurgence?
BARARDIAN is one of the oldest languages still spoken in Europe in its original form. Originating during the Roman settlement of Erbonia, the ancient Romance language has survived nearly two millennia, borrowing words here and there from English and the Murish tongue spoken across the strait. Its popularity, however, had declined since the 18th century, when there were vigorous attempts to stamp out the minority language in favour of a national English dialect. In 1950, it was estimated that there were only 540 native Barardian speakers remaining in its homeland of Barard, as well as in small pockets in the neighbouring Corrishire and Merst, of which 420 were bilingual in it as well as in English, to varying levels of proficiency.

However, thanks to efforts by the Board of Schools and the Board of Culture, Barardian has recorded a tripling of native speakers within the last quarter-century. Signage, for example, in Barardian towns and villages now have re-included Barardian as a supplementary language, and churches across the county have begun to, on the orders of the Bishop of Bailmorden, say or sing the Latin portions of the liturgy in Barardian, as provided in the Book of Liturgy, now hailing Mary 'æfe Marhia'. In particularly, junior schools in the county have introduced lessons in Barardian instead of Latin. As Latin is mostly mutually intelligible with Barardian, and sharing much of the same grammar and vocabulary, scholars agree that it would not be detrimental to the future development and mastery of Latin at all.

Many readers of the Regal Post may have little idea of what Barardian is, or what it looks like. However, if you can understand even senior school Latin, you can learn Barardian. The only difficult part is learning to read and spell, rather than comprehension. Take, for instance, this sentence: 'Iacobus et Marhia embulant ad le pæstrinum ot le penem elmant.' It is rather a simple task to translate this into Latin: 'Iacobus et Maria ambulant ad pastrinum ut panem emant.' Hither, it is simple to translate into English as: 'Jack and Mary walked to the bakery in order to buy a loaf of bread.' The Regal Post recommends the book, 'Basics of the Modern Barardian Language Expounded Clearly and Entirely in English', by the distinguished scholar in Barardian, the Regius Professour in Barardian, the Very Reverend Dr John Horle, published by the Press of the University of Aldesey (Price 15/6, 8vo bound in cloth. Write to the 33 Hamelyn Street, Lendert with enclosed cheque or postal order, and name and address and quote book title).

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:30 am

28 JULY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

New quince promises a better and sweeter taste
THE humble yellow fruit, the quince, is as well known as its more palatable cousins, the apple and the pear. However, fruit-tree experts from the National Orchards have identified a new variety of dessert quince that promises to offer a superior taste to the astringent, garden varieties found in back-gardens up and down the country. The new quince variety was grown from seed by Mrs Elisabeth Beckenham, of Haileyford-on-the-Losh in Merst, known within the orcharding and gardening circles as being an especially skilful and talented gardener and breeder of plants. The well-known rose variety, Beckenhamis, is named after her.

Mr Alan Dudgson, a senior orchardman from the National Orchards, told the Regal Post that, 'this new quince variety, which has been named 'New Haileyford Blush', is remarkably sweet and tender when picked straight from the tree. There is no bletting or cooking required. It has a delicious fruity quince taste, with touches of rose and lemon, which is also amazingly reflected with the yellow skin with soft pink blush.' Currently, the tree is not yet available to the public, however it is known as Mrs Beckenham has given a number of grafted trees to her friends and family. She is quoted as saying that the quince is exceedingly pleasant to the taste when fresh and ripe, with no poorness of shape, colour or texture whatsoever and that it is surely to become a staple of home orchards and gardens across the country.

The New Haileyford Blush is being sold currently at the Roseham Market every Wednesday by Mr John Pickles, a farmer and friend of Mrs Beckenham, and can be purchased too by mail order by writing to the same at Lastenford North Farm, Merst for current market prices. The current price, as of publishing, is 3/3 per bushel, and has been well-received by both the local as well as the regional markets. Mr Dudgson said that he expects that if market interest remains high, the new dessert quinces will see great popularity in the main orcharding counties of Swent, Dershire and Southannering.

by **Great Nortend** » Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:50 am

28 JULY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

Summer cold snap to strike
THE balmy summer weather most parts of Great Nortend are enjoying these few weeks are predicted to be cut short by a sudden cold snap that will sweep over the southern counties on Tuesday, before a stronger cold front passes over much of the Middle Counties, Govle and Cardoby on Wednesday in the afternoon. The Chief Master of the Meteorological Board, the Lord Fitzbailey, announced to-day in the Gazette that temperatures may plummet as much as sixteen degrees from our current average maximums of 81, down to 64, reminiscent more of late autumn than high summer.

The news has worried farmers, who fear the wheat harvest may be damaged or ruined by the temperature change and the resulting high winds and possible rain. An even greater concern is the hay harvest, which may be completely destroyed if it has already been cut. The Board has urged farmers to take protective measures and to refrain from making hay until at least next Friday, when temperatures are expected to climb again into the 70s and 80s.

Great Nortend's weather is in stark contrast with the blistering summer heatwaves currently sweeping over much of Europe. Temperatures have been recorded over 110° in many parts of Europe, with temperatures of 122° recorded in Georgia and 125° in Armenia. The recent Græcian fires, which have condemned over 80 people, is a symptom of this record-breaking summer. However, in Great Nortend, we have seen very little of the heat, with the maximum temperature to date being a relatively cool 90°. Rainfall has, however, been rather poor, which is compounding the issues farmers are facing. We shall simply have to see how we, and the rest of Europe, copes with this summer's curious weather.

by **Great Nortend** » Tue Jul 31, 2018 6:36 am

31 JULY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

Board of Trade announce highway renewal
THE LORDS OF TRADE, in conjunction with the Lords of the Board of Roads, have to-day announced that over 500 miles of public highways across Great Nortend will be upgraded within the next ten years, as part of the Government's pledge to tackle poor rural infrastructure. The pledge, which was made during the previous election by the Scodes and Conservative Coalition's Warden and Prime Minister, His Grace the Duke of Limmes, aims to improve the quality of life in rural and country areas by providing more services, better infrastructure and transport, in a multi-thousand pound nation-building effort.

The Lord Master of the Board of Trade, the First Lord of Trade, the Lord Stanfield, told the Lords in Parliament to-day, that under the scheme, miles of rural roads, currently ranging in state from dirt to patchy gravel and damaged cobblestone, will be re-surfaced and laid with a hard-wearing stone cobble surface. Vestries will be tasked with the job of identifying problem roads within their parish, and grading them on their level of importance. His Lordship said in his address, 'It hath greatly pleased the Lords of Trade to introduce these measures to this noble house and my noble friend, the Duke of Limmes, and His Lordship's government clearly sheweth his dedication to the King's excellent majesty's subjects in rural parishes though this measure, as well as the slew of policies that have already been introduced to these great and honourable houses and those that shall be introduced in the future.'

Many public roads in parishes across the country are nothing more than a rutted dirt path, flanked on either side by grassy verges and ditches. Under the proposal, selected roads will be cambered and laid with local hard-wearing cobblestones to aid drainage, cleanliness as well as accessibility for motor vehicles, bicycles and carriages in all weather conditions. Highway signage will also be erected where necessary, to warn of dangers and to guide drivers, riders, bicyclists and motorists. Also included in the £500,000 programme is legislation to improve the standard of highway ditches, bridges and culverts, maintenance of fencing, hedging and trees, as well as for the provision of more telephone boxes where needed.

by **Great Nortend** » Tue Jul 31, 2018 6:48 am

31 JULY MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

Vicar murdered by thief
REPORTS have come in that the Reverend William Baston, Vicar of Leighgrant in Haxoshire, has been murdered. His Reverence, who was only 48 years of age, had lived in Leighgrant nearly his entire life, having been born there, baptised in St Jude's church and preached there weekly every Sunday for nearly twenty years. It is believed that the murderer was a thief who had broken into St Jude's to steal the church plate. The church-door's lock was discovered by police to have been broken with a blunt instrument, likely the axe used to kill Mr Baston. Preliminary reports suggest the vicar, who had been stirred from his sleep by the sound of the church-door lock being forced open, had found the thief inside the church, where he was rendered unconcious by a strike to the cranium. The victim was then likely dragged into the churchyard and struck with the blunt side of the axe which was found a few yards thence in the lych-gate. Chief Detective Inspector Whitely told journalists that the police were investigating the crime, that a suspect had been arrested and that at this time, it was not believed there were any co-conspirators and that the murder was not pre-meditated.

Mr Baston departed from this life , leaving his widow, Mrs Baston, and two girls, aged ten and fifteen. Requiescat in pace.

31/07/2018
Dear Sir,
We are sorry to hear of your Reverend's loss. As we have dealt with similar murders of not just random civilians but also our royalty, we share your pain in this time of darkness. At least he is at peace with God, something no mortal man can achieve until he departs from this plane.

Again, we are sorry for your loss. We shall stand with you during this dark time.

Sincerely,
Kaiser Hans Wolfe III, Emperor of Prussia and All Dominions by the Grace of God

by **Great Nortend** » Tue Oct 30, 2018 5:45 am

30 OCTOBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · TWOPENCE

Fur hats double in cost
FUR FELT hats, beloved of gentlemen and ordinary people across the Realm, have reportedly increased dramatically in price as the supply of rabbits and conies with a pelt of suitable fineness for use in hatting has dwindled. A simple but well-made brown rabbit or coney fur felt hat, which may have hitherto been available and sold for but 11/3, will now cost a gentleman at Fultonby's, the famous Lendert hatters, the princely sum of 19/6. This material increase in cost is, the Regal Post is informed, replicated across the country.

The cost increase is attributed to a great and noticeable decline in rabbit populations. This has so far been unexplained, with some people suggesting that the rise in popularity of rabbit as game-meat, and the lack of adequete and active protection against poaching has contributed to the fall. The poaching of rabbits is illegal, however it is considered common knowledge that many country-men routinely flout the law, in taking and trapping rabbits and conies for their own use and sustenance. Despite the convincing argument prima facie, it is understood that this is a long-standing practice and so far, there dos not seem to be any direct causation between poached rabbits and decline in rabbit-fur stock.

When the Second Lord of Trade, Sir William Gouldon, was asked recently in the Houses of Commons regarding the paucity of hat-fur in recent months, the Right Honourable member told the Houses that, '[This is] something on which the Government has been informed and a matter on which the Government is taking steps to support felt hat manufacturers'. The Government has so far failed to produce to the Houses or otherwise a plan on this matter, despite Sir William claiming that, 'The Government will release its support plan in the coming weeks' in late September.

by **Great Nortend** » Tue Nov 06, 2018 9:40 pm

7 NOVEMBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

SPECIAL: Larkshire under Woss bye-election to be held

A SPECIAL bye-election is being held on this Saturday, the 10th of November, in the county constituency of Larkshire under Woss in the House of Knights. The bye-election writs were reported to have been delivered a few weeks ago by the Knight-Lieutenant of the House of Knights, the Right Honourable Mr Henry Wigham, Knight of the Shire for Swent North-East, to the returning officer, the Sheriff of Larkshire.

The bye-election was triggered by the sad passing of the erstwhile first Knight of the Shire for the constituency, Mr Anthony Greaves, owing to a sudden affliction of the heart, early last month. Despite the second Knight of the Shire, Sir Colin Edgar, still sitting in the House, the bye-election puts both county seats up for election. Both seats have been held by the Company of Scodeliers since the new millennium, which have put forth Sir Colin Edgar and Mr John Wright as the Scodes' candidates for the seats. The Drougher Party have Mr Henry Saw and Mr Rupert Quentin as their candidates again, both of whom contested the previous general election to little success. There are no particularly notable Plines running in the constituency at this time.

The bye-election comes at a crucial period for the Government, approximately one year into their second consecutive term with a majority in all three Houses. Despite the Scodes and Conservative Coalition holding a majority of 48 in the House of Knights and a further three in the House of Burgesses and another two in the Scholars and Defence seats, with an overall majority of 53 in the Commons, the bye-election will likely be painted by the Droughs as an indication of the Coalition's chances of reelection in 2021 or 2022.

Both parties have campaigned strongly in the constituency in the last few weeks since the announcement of the bye-election. The constituency, which encompasses all of the county of Larkshire geographically beneath the River Woss, as well as the river-crossing village parishes including Wossford, Causley-on-Woss, Cloddon-near-Woss and Rorton, but excluding the Eracastrian exclave, leans heavily towards the Scodes. In the last general election, held in the June of 2017, approximately a year ago, the constituency recorded a final result of 42 per cent for Mr Greaves, 38 per cent for Sir Colin, 13 per cent for Mr Saw and a dismal 15 per cent for Mr Quentin, with 2 per cent of the vote going to the only Plines (Independent) candidate, Mr Leonard Fisher.

The campaign by the Scodes has focussed mainly on crime, safety and support for the rural workers in the face of strengthening competition from abroad in terms of trade, whilst the Droughs have campaigned mostly on alms, healthcare and education in the region. The constituency region is known for its plentiful apple orchards which produce much of the country's cider, as well as its traditional cheese, market garden and cut-flower industries. Education levels are lower than in the neighbouring constituencies of Larkshire in Between and Suthrepourdeland, however still above the national average.

Mr John Wright
Mr Wright was born and raised in the village of Newsandon, ten miles asunder from Castle Alsby, the major market town in the region and is the younger son of the village's former vicar, the Rev'd Richard Wright, known for his regionally popular hymn, 'Thorns wov'n around His crown'. He read the Arts at Aldesey and has been the village schoolmaster for twenty years. If he is elected, Mr Wright has indicated that he will resign from the headmastership of the school to focus on representing his constituents in the chamber at the Castle of Lerdenstone. Mr Wright lives with his wife, Mrs Anne Wright, in Newsandon with his two adolescent children, Christopher and Maud. He has promised to tackle the rising crime rate in some rural villages by supporting the rightful exercise of power by manorial courts, as well as installing new police telephone pillars, street furniture and better signage and lighting for village high streets and rural areas.

Sir Colin Edgar
Sir Colin is a native of the county, being descended from the Earl of Hainley whose seat at Philton Chase is located in the south of the constituency. Sir Colin was knighted in 2006 for his services in the county constabulary, whereof he was Constable-General from 1996 to 2004 when he retired at the age of 60. Sir Colin has represented the constituency since 2005. If re-elected, Sir Colin aims to direct his efforts in advocating for the reduction in crime, harsher sentencing and monitoring of convicted felons. He also has indicated his support for a reduction in local freightage fees for local businesses and farms, as well as supporting Government efforts in beautifying villages and hamlets.

Mr Henry Saw
Mr Saw was born in Echester, however moved to Castle Alsby in his youth. He was educated at Marring School and later went to the University of Limmes where he read divinity, however he did not enter into Holy Orders. He is currently the manager of the Bank of Larkshire in Castle Alsby but lives with his wife, Mrs Joanne Saw, and his three children, William, Catherine and Dorothy, in the nearby village of Alhampton. If elected, Mr Saw has pledged to rebuilt a number of dilapidated school-houses in the constituency, as well as work with the Scodes Government to introduce more support for new mothers.

Major Rupert Quentin
Major Quentin is a retired major in the Army Royal, having served for forty-six years in the Duke of Limmes' Regiment of Foot as an officer. He was born in the hamlet of Little Forkest to the distinguished and decorated General Alaric Quentin, and was educated at the highly prestigious Allord School in Enley, before going to the Royal Army Academy. He still lives in Little Forkest, having retired, with his wife, Mrs Lily Quentin. Major Quentin is an avid gardener and is campaigning on a platform of increasing almshouses, access to free healthcare in rural communities, and of extra funding for village parish schools.

All subjects registered on the electoral rolls for the constituency of Larkshire under Woss are required to vote in this bye-election, on pain of a fine of up to £10.

GOD SAVE THE KING.

by **Great Nortend** » Tue Nov 20, 2018 7:42 am

15 NOVEMBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Scodes hold on to Larkshire Under Woss

THE COMPANY of Scodeliers have held onto the seats of Larkshire Under Woss in the recent bye-election, returning both of its candidates, Sir Colin Edgar and Mr John Wright, to the House of Knights. Mr Wright has been given his spurs and belt by the Sheriff of Larkshire as a Knight of the Square. He will be sworn into the House next week. The Droughers suffered yet another bruising defeat, losing three percentage points to Mr Wright in the bye-election triggered by the unfortunate death of the Scodes incumbent Mr Greaves.

by **Great Nortend** » Tue Nov 20, 2018 8:02 am

15 NOVEMBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Deaths in harbour—quarantine criticised

TWO adults and three minors have passed away on Tuesday afternoon in Sorredge from an outbreak of typhoid aboard their vessel which had sailed from the African continent. The vessel, a small fishing boat, was carrying fifteen souls aboard when it was intercepted twelve nautical miles off the coast of Walecestershire by HMS Danstige on the 15th of October. It is believed that the boat was carrying African aliens attempting to claim asylum or refuge in Great Nortend.

The adults, both men, were aged in their late twenties and early thirties, and were of black colour. The children too were African and aged with the youngest being two or three and the eldest in her early adolescent years. They passed away during the period in which their boat was quarantined in Sorredge, only two miles from St John's Hospital. Their bodies still remain on the boat, for fear of contagion, and will likely be taken to sea for disposal.

The boat was brought to Sorredge Harbour for inspection where it was discovered that all persons aboard had contracted typhoid fever and were contagious and delirious. The King's Harbourmaster of Sorredge Harbour, Captain Frederic Walters, ordered that the boat be placed in quarantine for forty days, the standard practice in Great Nortend for more than a century. Flying the chequered yellow and black flag indicating quarantine, the boat received medical attention from the harbour's quarantine office and doctors. However, no passengers on the ship were permitted to land ashore, which led to repeated attempts at escape, only thwarted by courageous efforts from the harbour master's officers and police-men.

The death has sparked controversy surrounding existing quarantine laws, which critics claim are archaic and risk lives as shewn in this sorry matter. Dr Andrew Pearce, of St John's Hospital in Sorredge, told the Regal Post that typhoid was nowadays easily treatable with survival rates of over 99 per cent.

'It is inexcusable that the harbour master has refused permission for this boat to land and for the passengers to seek proper and adequate medical attention,' he said.

The harbour master, Captain Walters, declined to comment specifically on the case however told the Regal Post that quarantine for forty days was routine in the case of contagious and transmittable diseases and that deaths were extremely rare.

by **Great Nortend** » Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:24 am

30 NOVEMBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

Government hints at removing stamp duty from cheques

THE Government yesterday proposed to remove stamp duty from personal cheques, in the first alteration of the much criticised stamp duty for over fifty years. The Comptroller of the Exchequer, the Rt Hon Spencer de Stornton, was asked in the Houses of Commons during Oral Questions whether or not the Coalition Government would adopt Drougher policy and remove the current one penny stamp duty payable on every personal cheque issued. Mr de Stornton replied that the Government was indeed looking into ways to reduce over-zealous over-reach of stamp duty and would be considering the removal or at least the reduction of stamp duty for personal cheques.

The Shadow Comptroller, Mr Julian Wright, criticised Mr de Stornton's indecisive approach in the Houses, stating that, “The Scodeliers claim to want to reduce taxes but they don't seem to want to even remove a penny tax on a three-by-six piece of paper!” Stamp duty is a major revenue source for His Majesty's Treasury and the banking of over 2 million cheques annually is estimated to net it over £8300 in revenue. Mr Wright claimed savings could be made in other areas of the financial sector, such as increasing stamp duty for bank cheques or share certificates which is currently set at sixpence.

by **Great Nortend** » Sun Dec 02, 2018 8:57 am

3 DECEMBER MMXVIII · PRINTED IN LENDERT · ONE PENNY

VALE LORD TRENGOLL

THE REGAL POST regrets to inform its readers of the sad passing of the Lord Lieutenant of Towshire, Julian Badrick, 23rd Viscount of Trengoll at the age of 86. Lord Trengoll was the eldest son of William Badrock, 22nd Viscount of Trengoll and Maud, daughter of Charles Renham, 6th Marquess of Nailbridge. Lord Trengoll was born in 1932 and was a distinguished serjeant-at-law of the Court of Common Pleas. He wed Harriet Chacely in 1955. Lord Trengoll is survived by three issue: his heir, Mr Edmund Badrock of Trengoll, 61, to be the 24th Viscount of Trengoll upon payment of relief, Mr Peter Badrock, 58, and Charlotte, Lady Daven (54).

Lord Trengoll was known during his life for his strong faith and resolute character which bordered on a humorous stubbornness. He excelled in his area of law and was a noted jurist and taught at the University of King's Rhighton. He was first appointed as Lord Lieutenant of Towshire in 1999 by Her Late Majesty Queen Catherine the Second, and was reappointed annually thereafter, continuing with the accession of His Majesty King Alexander the Second in 2003. He was a good friend of many notable Nortan charities, such as the Railwaymen's League and the Royal Nortan Society of the Red Cross. He served as the Chairman of the Court of Directours of the Royal Society for Preservation of the Countryside from 2010 to 2017, when ailing health forced him to step down, however he remained a directour on the board. He will be sorely missed. Requiescat in pace.

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