NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Trotterdam]

#291 2 is unavailable to socialists.

[Jutsa]

Updated. :3

[Blargoblarg]

#1011 State of the Media

The Issue

According to recent surveys conducted by the National Broadcasting Agency, viewership of state media has hit a record low. This has resulted in a wave of officials and state-sponsored journalists seeking your advice on how to improve the situation.

The Debate

1.“We could accommodate more alternative views,” proposes Kirby al-Zahawi, a talk show host, speaking with you on live television. “Blargoblargers tend to view our state-approved programmes as blatant government propaganda. If we were to spice up our newspaper opinion columns and interviews with a greater variety of voices, then even the staunchest critics of state media won’t be able to say that we’re biased.”

2. “I think that it’s a matter of trust,” concedes the head of the Department of Truthiness, while writing a puff piece about your pet Alicorn. “We shouldn’t cushion our people from the harsh truths of our nation, if that’s what they truly want. Unlike what the national papers say, we don’t actually have full employment or zero crime. We must release every single statistic being tracked in our country, and hope that our citizens can believe in us.”

3. “The only true solution is to force everyone to watch our shows,” whispers the Minister of Internal Security, handing you a prototype screen. “We should install these modified televisions in every single household. They have built-in microphones and security cameras so that we can keep our citizens under constant surveillance. People who attempt to ignore state media by switching off their televisions will be identified, and taken away for a bit of re-education on how to be a proper citizen.”

4. “That would be a hideous waste of Bits!” objects the State Treasurer, showing you a number of charts that all seem to blend together. “If no one wants to view official media, then they don’t have to. We should scrap the entire thing and let the public come up with their own sources of information and entertainment. The resources could be allocated to somewhere else, like on strengthening our military and funding law enforcement.”

Issue by The UD Parliamentary Republic of Singapore no2

Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Jutsa]

very nice issue imo :3
added! Thank you.

[The Final Conglomerated Order]

I didn't get option 3 of issue 474.

[Jutsa]

Thanks for the report, me!

I highly suspect that it's because you have socialism. Updated.

[Trotterdam]

My data suggests that the problem is vegetarianism, and that the option is still available to socialists. It could be a government-run restaurant.

[Jutsa]

Hmm... something to bring up in Hufoi, I guess; the character is the one who owns those restaurants.

[Trotterdam]

Watch out for changes on #316. It's probably just the effect line, but it's worth carefully double-checking.

[Jutsa]

Thanks! Adding it to my list. :3

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Just noticed that #201 has three editors listed in game, while the list here only has one. The full list is: Sirocco, Scolopendra, and GMC Military Arms. No textual differences as far as I can tell, and no new options either, unless they're at the end.

[Trotterdam]

#729 Teenage Kicks

The Issue

Dozens of children were seriously injured last week, during Kick a Ginger Day, the traditional start-of-term ritual in which generations of redheaded children at @@ANIMAL@@ Lake Secondary School have been attacked by their classmates. The Principal says their staff, notably devoid of redheads, were out to lunch and heard nothing of the rampage. Sensing a photo-op, you have cancelled your Step-Yoga class and headed over to the school to meet the parents.

The Debate

1. "THIS IS BULLYING!" yells civil-rights activist and parent of redheaded twins, @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you a photograph of @@HIS/HER@@ children in hospital beds. "It is unconscionable for me to even think that my poor daughters were beaten for something they can't control! All children should be treated equally, regardless of their hair color. What if it was 'Bash a Blonde Day'? Would that be okay? I say we must take a hard line on all forms of bullying in our schools, and wipe it out: teasing, joking, badinage, poking fun, mockery, harrying, pestering..."

2. "Bullying? Please! Now what are those liberal ninnies whining about?" scoffs @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Harker, whose brown-haired son, Paxton, participated in the ritual kicking. "They were foot nudges, uncomfortable for a minute. Two, maybe. Not harmful at all. This is really the erosion of our traditions by the left-wing elite, the suppression of childish high spirits by folks who'd see them become tax-payin' tree-huggin' robots. Why, we did it all the time when I was a kid. At the end, all the normal kids give those weird gingers a hearty thump on the back, accepting 'em as good sports. And they like that. Keep the nanny state out of the playground, and respect our ancient traditions."

3. "Rubbish!" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, an avid @@ANIMAL@@ball fan, who is watching the televised play-offs on @@HIS/HER@@ Pear Phone Grande and has barely looked at @@HIS/HER@@ daughter since he arrived. "Getting kids to be nice, allowing kids to beat each other up. What kids really need is daily contact sports to work off that energy. Once you thrash your opponent on the field, thrashing them with your fist seems kind of pointless. And, there's another upside. Little Tammy Thompson won't have the strength to beat-up anyone if she's spent all day kicking a ball."

5. "The obvious solution has been overlooked," states another parent, programmer @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ 'Chips' Wei, who has spent @@HIS/HER@@ whole life trying to blend in. "Simply dye everyone's hair the same colour when they start school. You don't know what it's like, @@LEADER@@. The beating of the drums would start, and then the remorseless chanting, and all the teachers would lock themselves in the staffroom until it was over. To protect children from their playmates' scorn and savagery, uniformity is the only way." Paxton Harker's parent trips him up, and a group of brunette parents guffaw.

Issue by Abhichandra
Edited by The Free Joy State

I'm guessing there might some no-computers variants.

[Nation Tracker]

1012 Tilting at Wind Turbines

The Issue

An unprecedented spectacle unfolded yesterday when Minister of Energy Don Lamancha was attending a conference on alternate energy resources. Lamancha is reported to have attacked a wind turbine with an improvised spear, all the time shouting loudly that it was trying to kill him. It turns out that the minister was suffering from schizophrenia, which he had not previously disclosed for fear of losing his job.

The Debate

1. “My behaviour was completely uncalled for,” apologizes Lamancha. “My medication timings were a little mixed up by all the travelling, and I genuinely believed for a moment that the wind turbine was a giant. I assure you, I am still capable of doing my job, and it would be a good thing for this country if you were to show some kindness here. No-one should be discriminated against because of mental illness.”

2. “He must stand down!” grandiosely demands your Secretary of State Sigmund Narcissus, stepping directly in front of the Energy Minister with clear intent to exclude the man. “It’s fine for mentally weak people to participate in low-level jobs like pizza delivery or drink-bottling, but they have no business being in government. Imagine the danger that we would face if we left cruise missile launch codes with a psychotic individual! Politicians with mental disorders must be given the sack.”

3. “That doesn’t go far enough!” screams your National Security Advisor, who appears to be wearing a highly-reflective helmet. “How can we be sure that people with mental disorders won’t poison our food or sabotage our infrastructure in a fit of madness? We must bar them completely from all forms of employment. That way-” He stops abruptly and glares suspiciously at a nearby television. “Can we adjourn to another room? I think we’re being spied on.”

Issue by The UD Parliamentary Republic of Singapore no2
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Trotterdam]

None of the names in #1012 are random. In fact, it doesn't seem to use any macros at all.

[Fauxia]

I think those names are the only macro-able things anyway, but I will (even though it’s not necessary) confirm what Trott said.

Oh yeah, thought so. It's referencing Don Quixote, of course.

[Jutsa]

Woo! Glad to see this issue in.

Singapore no2 did have a lot of submissions. I can hardly wait until the horseshoe alliance, if that ended up making it in.

[Tinhampton]

Figuring out whether names are random or not is tedious, but the option numbers have been confirmed.

#1005 What Goes Up Breaks Down

I don't know if this has already been noted, but all names are random, except for the surname of the speaker in 1005.4, which is always "Fortitude..." or, at least, it is in my case.

[Jutsa]

Scratch previous post for 729, I derped.

Updated. Also, thanks, Tin :3

[Jutsa]

Wait, you didn't get "Krustofsky"? You literally can't get a better surname for a communist selling crappy planes...

[Singapore no2]

Woo! Glad to see this issue in.

Singapore no2 did have a lot of submissions. I can hardly wait until the horseshoe alliance, if that ended up making it in.

Yeah, the Horseshoe Alliance was designed to poke fun at both socialists and nationalists (and especially the NAZBOL GANG) at the same time. Hope it gets through.

[Fauxia]

Waters at the mouth after glancing at Singapore No2’s increasingly large published issues number

Guess I can’t complain, considering I seem to never write anything, these days

[Candlewhisper Archive]

He's the fourth most published author. Nation of Quebec is number one of course. All hail Nation of Quebec!

[Jutsa]

Fourth?

Who's third then?

[Fauxia]

Fourth?

Who's third then?

Max himself.

He's the fourth most published author. Nation of Quebec is number one of course. All hail Nation of Quebec!

Editors aren’t real people.

[Jutsa]

oh yeah...

Thanks, Fauxia. :3