World Bowl XXXV (35)- Everything Thread

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:03 am

The Fort of Santa Teresa

Number two on the randomly ordered list: the Fort of Santa Teresa.
Not pictured: the towers along the coast to the left of this photo.

Canon #3: National Parks of Ko-oren
1. Selesi Rainforest. The sheer size of the forest, namely, most of the island of Selesi, is impressive by itself. The park has a huge number of indigenous species, and most of the park is off-limits as not to disturb them. There are still many, many accessible parts though.
2. Amandine Tri-state Park. The Amandine is a region towards the southeast end of the peninsula, before turning into rocky Finisterre. There are multiple parks in the Amandine, but this one stands out as a huge number of biomes packed into one area. From wetlands, to deserts, to pine forests, to misty hills.
3. Ferrovente Desert. One small region around Finisterre's second city Ferrovente is just that: desert. Ko-oren is windy and rainy enough, except for this small park, which is only windy. Expect both sandy areas and colder, hilly and rocky areas. There is even one part where ocean touches this desert.
4. yDremdun Archipelago. YDremdun is located on the far west of Ko-oren, a narrow archipelago extending far into the Salamantic Sea. From rolling green hills to windswept islands, most are uninhabited, but what goes on in between is far more interesting. Many sea mammals and fish are only found here, as well as coral reefs.
5. Tarrashall National Park. This region features several small towns located along the northwestern coast, separated by fjords and other geographical features. This part of the coast is just a long drop into the cold Salamantic all the way through, though there are some less rough inlets and harbours.
6. Western Amandine. This park borders the park of number two, but this part only contains wetlands. Accessible from several urban areas, the Western Amandine hosts many of Ko-oren's indigenous insects, such as the many dragonflies that have turned into the symbol of the nation.
7. Luna Park. No, it's not an amusement park. The most northeastern major river of Ko-oren, the Luna, has its own park with tall peaks (see Poolrugge below) dropping right into the sea. Most of this park is a colder heath full of wildflowers, though.
8. Poolrugge National Park. This park consists of Poolrugge's mountain range, except for its coastal areas. This entire park is located at high altitude and contains Ko-oren's tallest mountain, the Hazelberg. This park contains eight of Ko-oren's ten highest peaks, and includes many, many trails and even some ski resorts.
9. Serevne National Park. The most northeastern extent of Ko-oren is Serevene National Park, a large, icy tundra where it's impossible to tell where the land (ice) ends and the sea (ice) starts, in winter. It's slightly easier in summer.
X. North Etena Park. The island of Etena normally has a very calm geography. Towards the depopulated north, however, there is a large forest containing massive steep rock pillars reaching out for the sky, along a valley in the middle of the park.
=. Amillon Marine Park. Halfway down the coast on the south side of the Bay of Ko-oren is a national park consisting of only sea. There have been many historical finds from ships that have sunk centuries ago, and an impressive array of sea life.
0. Aviansola Rainforest. Much like Selesi Rainforest, only located on the island further south, Leleia. The inland parts of the eastern half of the island are protected by this national park, which is slightly warmer than Selesi Rainforest, though it does not contain as many indigenous species.

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:32 am

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXV RECAP: MATCHDAY ONE

Abanhfleft      0 13  7  7  27
Lisander        6  0  0  7  13

Ah, normal service has been resumed, I presume. Things appear to be finally back to the way the were, and Abanhfleft has won yet another World Bowl game. I know, I know, nothing to shout about now, but after Lisander defeated us the first time around in this current World Bowl, and with this game coming right at the heels of the game (and loss) against the Allamunnic States, our Armored Revolutionaries were looking for both redemption and revenge. And by the looks of things, looks like they got it.

Lisander won the coin toss yet again and chose to receive, also like last time. But, unlike the last time, they managed to get all the way to the red zone before capping off their first drive with a 16-yard touchdown pass to Leandro Zaid. One good thing that we can get out of that though is the fact that they were unable to score the point after touchdown, which like that meme says is something that we got going for us, which is nice.

Starting from the second quarter though, Abanhfleft took over the reins and utterly dominated the contest. First Harrison Aumann found Sylvester Slattery (who was starting in place of Von Colone, who had muscle injury problems and therefore could not play against Lisander today) for a 5-yard touchdown, and then two field goals in between a Lisander three-and-out saw our Armored Revolutionaries pull away with a 13-7 lead.

Things just turned to shit for Lisander from then on (but not in the fourth quarter, but we'll get to that later). Harrison Aumann found Jeremy Lacazette in acres of space for an easy zip to the end zone in the third quarter, and the two of them repeated pretty much the same play, the same trick, for the third Fleftic touchdown of the game in the fourth quarter. In that same fourth quarter though, Lisander scored their second touchdown with a flea flicker from Martin Hofmann to Leandro Zaid. It wasn't the last play or the last drive of the quarter or the game, but it might as well be because nothing more noteworthy happened after that.

So that's Lisander done. Up next is The Frozen Forest. I don't know if we will be able to win against them. We should, but we are notoriously poor against unranked sides, and since we've already beaten them, it looks like it's high time that they beat us. I can only expect such from our boys. Park Min-ho, Park Min-ho, Park Min-ho....

by **Newmanistan** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 8:14 am

THE ROCKET REPORT

PLAYOFFS GETTING CLOSER: WILL WE BE THERE?

By Taylor Larson,

The World Bowl qualifying stage has been taking place, as 42 teams had the eyes set on coming to Newmanistan for the playoffs. The dreams of many have been dashed by this point, as we are now six games into the tournament. Most of the nations that have struggled to this point, are not a super surprise based on their ranking, but we could still have expected a little more from them. The only undefeated team at this point is Qasden, and that is not good news for the 4-2 Rockets who have to find a way to get ahead of them as well as 5-1 Kaboomlandia with just four games to go. There are two wild card spots available as well, and while it would go to a 4-2 team, the Rockets are down on the pecking order in regards to point differential, when compared to others with that same record. Maybe the sky blue has not been bad, but it may very well be that the playoffs could start at home with the Rockets being completely absent.

Last year, Brianne Henry, was very critical of coach Marvin Dineen and the general play calling, but somehow the team played their best football when it mattered most, getting into the playoffs when it was starting to look in doubt, and having the Cinderella run to the World Bowl 34 title game. Now, they have to do it again. How is this going to be possible? Let’s take a look at what each of the three teams have remaining on the schedule:

Newmanistan (4-2):
MD7: at Holy Nazirealm- This team, not sure what their nickname is, and I hope it is not a certain something, is struggling at 0-6. This is not only a must win for the Rockets, but it’s a must-blowout. The Rockets must have a favorable points differential in this game to the point where they can pass some of the other teams with a similar record, so they can grab one of the wild card spots if they cannot crack the top two.

MD8: vs Kaboomlandia- You can consider this a playoff game. Having the Phoenix on our home field can help. Still, it needs to result in a victory somehow. Kaboomlandia also expects to make the playoffs, having won the World Bowl just two times ago.

MD9: at Vakloccia Haven and Celeria:- This team has struggled, with only a win over Holy Nazirealm to speak of. Again, this is not only a win, it is a must-blowout. The silver lining for the Rockets may be that their two road games remaining are against easier opposition.

MD10: vs Qasden- Once again, the Rockets control their own destiny with a home match against a team they are chasing. Expect a sold out crowd into overflow seating at the Proving Grounds, because if this is do-or-die for us, the fans will be vocal in support. If we lose, they will get a chance to boo them off the field.

Kaboomlandia (5-1):
MD7: vs Qasden- This is a showdown that the Phoenix will probably need to win in order to have a chance at the playoffs. They will go all out, because they know we are only a game behind them, and they know where their next game is.

MD8: at Newmanistan- Should the Phoenix lose to Qasden, then this is an incredibly intense game. In some ways, the Rockets might be better off looking for Kaboomlandia to win that game, and then this becomes a let down game.

MD9: vs Holy Nazirealm- A great chance to launch some kaboom on a Nazi-realm. Sounds good to me.

MD10: at Northwest Kalactin- Probably a game they win, but the Kalactins at home will be looking to finish strong. Maybe, if we needed it, we could get help here.

Qasden (6-0):
MD7: at Kaboomlandia- Right away, you see that Qasden’s toughest games are at the back end of their schedule, so despite their current record, they have nothing locked up. A win here, if they could got it, goes a long way.

MD8: vs Vakolicci Haven and Celeria- They should win this one without much problem.

MD9: vs Northwest Kalactin- Somewhere along the line we are going to need some help from the Kalactins. Not sure if that will work out for us.

MD10: at Newmanistan- Well, we know what we need to do. If they win this game, though, we’ll likely done.

by **Vangaziland** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:26 pm

Royals Notch Another Win

Quarterback Dan Bundison is in the middle of his best start while leading the Vangaziland Royals. He entered the match against Anthor after two big wins. In the match prior, he defeated Irwil 30-3. Dan threw two touchdowns and 197 yards. He hoped to continue the hot streak in the latest game. This was the first season Vangaziland has established itself as a threat through the air. In prior seasons, Dan had been a bit of a running joke. After beating Irwil, Vangaziland moved to 1st in Group 7. They hoped to extend their hold on the top before battling Velstrania for the spot.

But first, the Royals would have to play Anthor. The Royals beat them 13-7 in Game 1. They had confidence as they went into the match, players jumping and cheering energetically as they entered the arena.

Vangaziland was held to a field goal on their first drive. TE Fred Loxingsen dropped the pass, while being hit on 3rd down. The Royals would not get back to the Red Zone until midway through the second quarter. Erik Bergum caught a 15 yard reception for a TD. The play came from a tightly packed I-formmation play. The team often does sets in that formation, adding a reciever and spreading the I-form. This time, the recievers were all bunched on one line. It looked like a run play was coming. The defense was caught out of position. Bergum is known for his speed, which helped him run such a dangerous route. He caught the play before being knocked out of bounds next to the pylon.

The next touchdown came on the first drive of the second half. This time Filip Skog ran the ball in on a 4 yard TD run. Earlier in the drive, he broke a 25 yard run. It gave Vangaziland a ton of momentum and a big first down.

The Vannish defense scored a safety late in the 3rd quarter. 6'5 250 lbs Taylor Barnacles broke through the line and made the rare play, putting the running back down. "People have been waiting for me to step up", Barnacles said after the game. "It feels like that was the biggest play of my international career."

The team's third touchdown came in the air once again. The receivers curved inwards while the tight ends cut up to the corners. The middle was closed off and defended. Bundison found Loxingsen, who redeemed himself with a leaping catch. It made his earlier dropped past basically forgotten.

Vangaziland's defense allowed 17 points. They did well to stop a strong team from scoring more than 2 touchdowns. It came through constant pressure and tight coverage. Karver Price had a really good night at safety, breaking up several passes and making a few big tackles. He showed quickness in getting to the ball and moving across the field.

Both the offensive and defensive lines played their part in helping Vangaziland beat Anthor twice this season. They were the start of why the Royals beat a team which outranked them 20 to 25. The O-line was working much better as a unit than they have in the past. The D-line has proven itself capable of bringing heat to tough offenses.

Coach Kenton Tillford also had a large part to do with this win. He made sure the team had a strong game plan. His plays were based on analyzing tape of the first game against Anthor. "We definitely look to figure teams out", Tillford said. "It's not always easy, but we study as much footage as we can."

The Royals will face the toughest team in the group once more as they face Velstrania next. They will hope to ride the wave of momentum and secure their hold on the group's lead.

by **Newmanistan** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:03 pm

Cutoff time for MD7!

Group 1
Starblaydia 7–24 Bostopia
The Frozen Forest 6–13 Abanhfleft
Lisander 7–38 Allamunnic States

  Group 1                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Allamunnic States               7    6   1   197   62 +135    18
2 Abanhfleft                      7    5   2   167  119  +48    15
3 Lisander                        7    4   3   148  140   +8    12
4 Starblaydia                     7    3   4   130  113  +17     9
5 The Frozen Forest               7    2   5    68  172 −104     6
6 Bostopia                        7    1   6    50  154 −104     3

Group 2
Main Nation Ministry 46–6 South Covello
Nevis and Kitts 3–13 Drawkland
Jebslund 6–7 Razenthuria

  Group 2                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Main Nation Ministry            7    6   1   187   72 +115    18
2 Drawkland                       7    5   2   113   78  +35    15
3 South Covello                   7    4   3   132  112  +20    12
4 Razenthuria                     7    4   3    70   79   −9    12
5 Jebslund                        7    2   5    71  112  −41     6
6 Nevis and Kitts                 7    0   7    47  167 −120     0

Group 3
Banija 32–14 Pridnestrovia
Ashkam 0–26 Roglonia
Taeshan 10–7 Azadeshia

  Group 3                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Taeshan                         7    6   1   115   43  +72    18
2 Pridnestrovia                   7    5   2   125   86  +39    15
3 Roglonia                        7    4   3   111   84  +27    12
4 Banija                          7    4   3   104  100   +4    12
5 Azadeshia                       7    2   5    88  121  −33     6
6 Ashkam                          7    0   7    40  149 −109     0

Group 4
Vakolicci Haven & Celeria 24–13 Northwest Kalactin
Kaboomlandia 17–7 Qasden
Holy Nazirealm 0–27 Newmanistan

  Group 4                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Qasden                          7    6   1   167   73  +94    18
2 Kaboomlandia                    7    6   1   152   70  +82    18
3 Newmanistan                     7    5   2   145   89  +56    15
4 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria       7    2   5    79  127  −48     6
5 Northwest Kalactin              7    2   5    90  160  −70     6
6 Holy Nazirealm                  7    0   7    64  178 −114     0

Group 5
Alpine Union 10–0 The Wolf Zones
Alenburg 3–0 Free Republics
Equestrian States 6–23 Barunia

  Group 5                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Alpine Union                    7    6   1   156   30 +126    18
2 Barunia                         7    5   2   151   68  +83    15
3 Free Republics                  7    5   2    91   41  +50    15
4 Alenburg                        7    4   3    84   98  −14    12
5 Equestrian States               7    1   6    68  184 −116     3
6 The Wolf Zones                  7    0   7    15  144 −129     0

Group 6
The Greater Nordics 20–3 Melbergia
Cosumar 13–20 Ko-oren
Cassadaigua 0–9 Royal Kingdom of Quebec

  Group 6                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec         7    6   1   134   67  +67    18
2 Ko-oren                         7    5   2   154   89  +65    15
3 Cosumar                         7    4   3   177  107  +70    12
4 Cassadaigua                     7    3   4    91   97   −6     9
5 The Greater Nordics             7    2   5    90  170  −80     6
6 Melbergia                       7    1   6    38  154 −116     3

Group 7
Irwil 7–29 United States of Devonta
North Prarie 13–24 -Anthor-
Vangaziland 10–3 Velstrania

  Group 7                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Vangaziland                     7    6   1   140   81  +59    18
2 Velstrania                      7    5   2    93   59  +34    15
3 -Anthor-                        7    4   3   123   81  +42    12
4 North Prarie                    7    3   4    82  109  −27     9
5 United States of Devonta        7    2   5    84   89   −5     6
6 Irwil                           7    1   6    36  139 −103     3

by **Drawkland** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:18 pm

The Golden Bowl

The Golden Bowl is the progression of the gridiron champions of the World. Starting with the Gridiron Football World Championships, whenever the current champion is defeated, in any round of the most official gridiron competition at the time, the team that defeated them takes up the new mantle of the Golden Bowl holder.

If a team has the title, and then disappears (doesn't sign up for the next edition), the reserve champions (second place) gets the Golden Bowl. I don't expect this to ever happen.

If a player disappears and reappears later, they start a second progression, which is technically lesser than the main Golden Bowl. If the holder of a lesser Bowl disappears, the lesser Bowl progression ceases (unless they reappear). The Bowl would be named the Silver Bowl, but that was an actual competition around the early post-Jolt era. Bowls from reappearing nations will be dubbed after the nation (The Examplestan Bowl, for instance). This has happened once, as Nephara took the Golden Bowl from Allamunnic States in XXV and didn't return until World Bowl XXXII. Unfortunately for those of us who want things to merge, Nephara once again stole the Bowl away from a playoff-eligible team on the final MD and disappeared again.

For the purposes of match counting, the team who has the Bowl at the end of a match is credited as having the Bowl for said match, even if the opposing team is the one which possessed the Bowl prior to the game.

(For IC purposes, the Golden Bowl is a literal Bowl made of Gold, atop a large black Marble Base. On the base there is an inscription plate which lists the progression of the Bowl. It looks similar to the progression listing at the bottom of this post. It fits 4 columns, and each column can hold up to 20 lines. When a plate runs out of space, it moves on to the next plate on the base. When all 4 sides are filled, I'm really not sure what we'll do.

The Golden Bowl Organization (GBO) will henceforth be located in Quinnaber, Drawkland, the home of gridiron in Drawkland. The GBO did not, I repeat, DID NOT have this idea, create the Golden Bowl, use a time machine, and retroactively apply the Golden Bowl to history. How could they do that?

Of course, that's exactly what happened.)

PROGRESSION DESCRIPTION

Abanhfleft had a decent time with the Golden Bowl. After a bye on the first matchday, they won their first 2 games. However, they lost their third match to The Iron Syndicate in a tightly-contested 36-37 game. The Iron Syndicate held the Bowl for the first time in their history, and had a relatively easy schedule after it, winning the next 2 games before falling to the United States of Devonta and coughing up the Bowl in the process. Devonta also had the Bowl for the first time, but gave it up by losing to Abanhfleft on the final MD of the group stage. This makes Abanhfleft the first team since Allamunnic States in World Bowl XVIII to lose the Bowl in the group stage and regaining and retaining before the playoffs. Interestingly, as multiple teams holding the Bowl had byes while holding the Bowl in the group stage, the amount of wins with the Bowl is less than the number of games in the group stage (7 games vs 8 total). Abanhfleft continued their winning ways by blowing out their opponents in the Round of 16 and Quarterfinals, until they fell to eventual champions Union of Socialist Alpine Republics.
(Group F, 8 Games, R16)

USAR (then renamed the much-easier Alpine Union), did not take well to the Golden Bowl. Their first match of the next World Bowl was a 3-13 to Chromatika, who would be holding the Golden Bowl for their first time ever as well. They had some luck, winning the next 2 games before losing to the unknown North Dajao, who got their first touch as well. They also had a streak of 3 games with the Bowl before dropping it to Taeshan. Taeshan is no stranger to the Bowl, being the original owner, although before this they hadn’t seen it since World Bowl XXI. They, too, had a streak of 3 wins before losing to Chromatika. Chromatika couldn’t hang on to it once reaching the playoffs, where Greater Vakolicci Haven beat them in the first round. They lost in the semis to none other than Taeshan, who fell in the final to Kaboomlandia, 17-14.
(Group F, 12 Games, R16)

Kaboomlandia got off to a hot start for World Bowl XXXIV, starting 5-0 before losing to Royal Kingdom of Quebec, who had a few wins with the Bowl back around World Bowl XX. They also were performing well, gaining a 3-game streak, before suffering a fluke 0-7 loss against Argentinistan. However, since they were an unranked team with little real skill, they lost on the final matchday to Space, who didn’t make the playoffs either. The Golden Bowl then halted, not making the playoffs for the first time since Nephara in World Bowl XXVI. And similarly to Nephara, Space neglected to enter the next edition of the World Bowl, so Golden Bowl officials had to sneak into Space and send the Bowl to its new owners, winners of World Bowl XXXIV, Taeshan.
(Group C, 10 Games, R16)

PROGRESSION LISTING

XXXII
Abanhfleft (2)
The Iron Syndicate (3)
United States of Devonta (1)
Abanhfleft (3)
Union of Socialist Alpine Republics (2)

XXXIII
Chromatika (3)
North Dajao (3)
Taeshan (3)
Chromatika (2)
Greater Vakolicci Haven (2)
Taeshan (1)
Kaboomlandia (1)

XXXIV
Kaboomlandia (5)
Royal Kingdom of Quebec (3)
Argentinistan (1)
Space (1)

XXXV (In progress)
Taeshan (5)
Roglonia (2)

BOWL RECORDS

Longest Carry in One Bowl: Drawkland (15, WB XXXI) / Delaclava (15, WB XV)
Longest Consecutive Carry: Drawkland (16, WBXXX-XXXI)
Times the Bowl didn’t reach the Playoffs: 3
Longest National Drought from Bowl: Rennidan (25, IV-XXIX)
Most Bowl Changes: 12 (WB XVI)
Least Bowl Changes: 0 (WB XV)
Nations which are <Nation> Bowl Eligible: 3 (Lanceo, Nephara, Space)

List of Nations by Games Held

Now, in World Bowl XXXV, Taeshan has regained its possession of the Golden Bowl. Getting off to another good group stage start, they gained 5 wins with the Bowl before losing it to newcomers Roglonia in a surprise 20-3 loss. Roglonia has even won a game with the Bowl, but it’s anyone’s guess to where it will land next ...
(Group C, 10 Games, R16)

by **Ko-oren** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:48 am

Hazelberg

Canon #4: Trails and Tracks of Ko-oren
1. The Great Northwestern. An 1800 km long trail going from the mound of Eleanor river in the southwest, to the town of Nyashawill in the north. This journey, normally done via train, balances between rough hills on one side and the cliffs dropping right into the sea on the other side. Several towns and many vistas are along the way.
2. Sudaefjoll River Crossing. An 700 km trail that takes you over the four major rivers (and hundreds of minor rivers) in northeastern Ko-oren. Every major river is connected to one or two small cities, used to break the journey into smaller parts.
3. Alara-Echizen. The island of Alara, innermost of the four eastern islands, is a trip between the two largest towns. As the crow flies, they're only 60 km apart, but if you want to see everything to see here, you'll have to take a 150 km long way around.
4. Amandine Double Crossing. This one takes you from Étouille, through several national parks, to either Cirelbourne or Bruncester. It's only a 170 km distance, but it is probably the most diverse trail on this list, taking you through wetlands, forests, barren hills, and across two state borders.
5. Leeshire Line. Between Idyllwild and Aubury, you can travel 300 km along the eastern side of the Western Ko-orenite Mountain Range. This region is known as Leeshire and the trail takes you through mountains, hills, rolling fields, and more. The area is fairly densely populated, and there is enough to see along the way.
6. The South Bay Cities. Starting in the four capital cities, this journey takes you through the major cities on the southern coast of the bay, also leading through Aminey and Amillon. That's where the short trail ends (280 km), but you can go further to Étouille (475 km total). As long as you stay next to the water, you'll never be far from the picturesque towns.
7. Dartha to Middle of Nowhere. If you want to know what the end of the world looks like, go to Dartha and keep going north. Around the mountains, you'll reach a pensinula where there's nothing and past it is only sea. There are only some small buildings here and there, and is a popular pilgrimage. (120 km)
8. Maethoru-Mayara. In the innermost part of the bay, there are two capital cities facing each other from different ends of a tiny bay: Maethoru and Mayara. Each city is visible from the other, and travelling via the bay is much quicker than via land.
9. Aerellen Horseshoe. In the far north of Ko-oren, the town of Aerellen (which its province is named after) has two pensinsulas, one to the west, one to the east, and together they make a horseshoe shape. On either side, there is an icy tundra with gorgeous vistas, and both trips (east and west) are about 40 km.
X. Llandy-Mawrystwyth-Ocean. On the southwestern pensinsula, you can start in Llandy, travel via Mawrystwyth along the narrowest of land bridge to the end of the Ko-orenite mainland, both sides of the bridge dotted with tiny islands while the mainland more or less meanders on for 40 km. (Total: 90 km)
=. Radius of Myaranowra. From Myaranowra, there are several roads going north, east, and south. Along each road, you'll find something different: plains on the east, cities on the south, and mountains in the north. Travelling for 40 kms in either direction will take you to the most diverse landscape in the north.
0. Eaglebury-Idyllwild. Idyllwild features twice on this list, but this time you'll travel west to Eaglebury, through the Western Ko-orenite Mountain Range. This 100 km trip (including weaving through the landscape) takes you from sealevel to tall mountains, back to about 500 m height.

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:56 am

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXV RECAP: MATCHDAY SEVEN

The Frozen Forest        0  6  0  0  6
Abanhfleft               0  0  6  7  13

Well, that was a struggle that we all didn't have to go through necessarily. But I guess there are just some teams who want to watch their fanbase burn. Don't misunderstand; I'm not bitter or anything. It's just that this was all completely unnecessary, at least the kind of struggle that our Armored Revolutionaries put up in trying to score against a Frozen Forest team that they've utterly dominated the first time around. For God's sake, we scored forty points against them! Forty points! And now you're telling me all you can muster up for round two is 13 measly points? 13 points!? Get out of here without your stuttering offense shit!

We can practically ignore the entirety of the first quarter as nothing noteworthy or even a possible footnote mentioned happened in those fifteen minutes, fifteen boring minutes of my life which I will now never regain. I could have done something productive in those fifteen minutes, you know, but no! I decided to watch some gridiron, and what did that get me? Only a desire to never do it again and to perhaps one day inflict this as a punishment on my enemies (not that I have a lot of those, but you never know).

On to the second quarter then! It was here that the first seeds of doubt about Abanhfleft's ability to get a win over the Frozen Forest finally sprung forth to bear fruit, as they were wont to do when Abanhfleft fail to perform anytime in the first quarter or first half or at the very least the first part of any game. It doesn't matter what sport Abanhfleft is playing, just that there are doubts about them winning against opposition where they are so clearly favored over their opponents. And, as you can guess from the box score above, it was not us who opened the scoring in that particular quarter. No, that honor goes to the Frozen Forest, who were able to somehow find a way to bypass our defensive lines by simply tossing the ball so high in the air that it eventually falls to the receiver that's standing just a few paces back from the actual defensive line itself. Confusion soon set into the Fleftic ranks and the Frozen Forest receiver was allowed the freedom of the entire field before he was finally tackled by Minh Duong, but not before the Frozen Forest midfielder had broken the plane and scored the first touchdown of the game. About the only consolation that we have from this possession was that the Frozen Forest's kicker skewed his PAT to the left to keep the score 6-0.

Thankfully we did improve though, even if just a little bit, and I have to admit that that was still quite unconvincing stuff for me. Two field goals to tie the game in the third quarter? I expected more from you, Harrison Aumann, and the same goes to Jeremy Lacazette and Saddam Hussain and all the other offensive players who didn't pull their weight until the final quarter of this game. You can't keep doing this forever, lads! Otherwise the other teams will just walk over you and walk over us like no one's business!

But enough about negativity. Let's go grab some positive vibes from this. And the best source of good vibes from this game is none other than the fourth quarter, where we scored the go-ahead touchdown courtesy of Denis Nguyen, who in that single five-minute drive made more completions and gained more yards than the rest of the other Fleftic eligible receivers who had been on the field up to that point (in case you haven't noticed, that was hyperbole, but hyperbole that was surprisingly closer to the truth than we all thought). The Frozen Forest attempted a comeback drive, but their quarterback was no Sam Clentimack who could pull Hail Mary plays out of his arse and then make them more times than not.

So that's it then. We are just a few more steps closer to making it back to the World Bowl playoffs. Starblaydia is up next, and surely now this is the moment where we stumble, trip and fall and lose all chances of sneaking into the playoffs. Don't you just love gridiron? Felix Navidad, Felix Navidad, Felix Navidad....

by **Trans-Dniesters** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:23 am

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON II RECAP

Hello yet again, friends, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron. Today we have three more matchdays before we get to the halfway point of the second season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League, so what are we waiting for? Let's get down to business already.

MATCHDAY NINE

Kesselburger Kestrels    3  3  3  0   9
Bratsk Dolphins         14  0  0 21  35

Novonikolaysk Sharks    14  7  3  7  31
Sheriff Tiraspol        14  3 14 17  48

CSKA Tiraspol           10  7  7  0  24
Antakya Hawks            6  9  7  6  28

Dinamo Bender            7  3  3 13  26
Yeralenko Torpedoes      3  6  7  3  19

Macaresti Gladiators     3  3  3  3  12
Rheinburg Spartans      14  0 14 14  42

Well, how about that? Novonikolaysk does have the ability to score more than just a couple of touchdowns and field goals per game! The only problem with that is that their opposition almost always ends up scoring way more than the Sharks are able to put up in a game, which kind of defeats the purpose of gaining a high score. Still, it's nice to note that the Novonikolaysk Sharks, a team that I admit to making fun of from time to time because of their usually poor on-the-field play, have managed to get their names in the history books in a positive manner for a change. Besides, I don't think two teams might be able to replicate a result in which both teams combine to score 28 points in just one quarter. Not even arena football can score that many points in just a short period of time.

Bad news for CSKA fans once again though: we've lost yet another game. And we've lost at home against the Antakya Hawks! The freaking Antakya Hawks! That expansion team didn't even play for touchdowns for almost the whole game, instead relying on field goals to get them most of their points on the board. And do you know what that got them? They won against the Army Team, that's what happened! CSKA and the Medvedev brothers were by far the better team that day but what did they get in reward for their efforts? Nothing except one more number in the loss column! And just because the other team was more willing to go for field goals than usual! Where is the fairness in the world gone with such atrocities like this!?

In some slightly more optimistic news, it looks like this really is the season of Kelly Profit and her Bratsk Dolphins. Sure, her team only scored in two quarters in this particular matchday but when they score 14 in one and then 21 in the other quarter, I don't care what others say. That's a quarterback masterclass all the same.

MATCHDAY TEN

Yeralenko Torpedoes      0  3  7  0  10
Macaresti Gladiators     3 10 13  0  26

Antakya Hawks            6 10  7  6  29
Dinamo Bender            7 14 10 10  41

Sheriff Tiraspol        14  0  0  0  14
CSKA Tiraspol            3  0  0  7  10

Bratsk Dolphins          7  3  3  6  19
Novonikolaysk Sharks     0  0  3  0   3

Admiral Novorossiysk     3  3 17  6  29
Kesselburger Kestrels    0  3  7  3  13

Once again, Yeralenko lost, and once again, CSKA also lost. This time around though, the defeat to our city rivals Sheriff tastes just a little bit more bitter than usual, and that's probably because Sheriff scored all the points they needed to beat us in the first quarter while we had the whole game to score more than 14 measly fucking points to win the game. And what were we able to come up with? 10 points! This is unbelievable! Even more unbelievable than the fact that Yeralenko still haven't won a fucking game in nine attempts! Why must CSKA always make their fans suffer? My heart cannot take this kind of stress anymore.

Oh, and at the other end of the spectrum, Dinamo Bender are still undefeated.

MATCHDAY ELEVEN

Novonikolaysk Sharks     3  7  3  0  13
Admiral Novorossiysk     7  7 10 17  41

CSKA Tiraspol            0  6  3  0   9
Bratsk Dolphins         10  3  3  3  19

Dinamo Bender            6 10  0  7  23
Sheriff Tiraspol         0 10  0  3  13

Macaresti Gladiators     6  7  7  7  27
Antakya Hawks            7  3  0  3  13

Rheinburg Spartans       0 14  3  0  17
Yeralenko Torpedoes     10  0  7  7  24

Now I really don't know how to react. Should I sing the praises of Kelly Profit and the Bratsk Dolphins or should I go into minute detail on the myriad of instances where CSKA could have and should have won this game but instead didn't? I don't even know anymore. All I can say is that this game devolved into yet another field goal contest, at which point I just turned off the television and played some Counter-Strike to relieve myself of my latent tension.

In news that will come to the utmost satisfaction of Dinamo fans, the team from Bender have managed to see off the challenge of Sheriff Tiraspol to remain undefeated for the entire first half of the season. Once again, Rodion Tarasenko masterminded this offensive masterclass as the Dinamo consigned Sheriff to a second defeat of the season at the moment while keeping their own record untarnished, at least for the first half of the season. I know all Bender fans will wish that they can keep this undefeated streak throughout the season while all the fans of the rest of the teams will wish that it's their team that snaps the Dinamo's streak first. And you all know me. I hope in my heart of heart that it's CSKA who finally puts an end to Dinamo's unbelievable dominance of the league. It would probably be the most satisfying victory in the Derby of All Derbies ever.

Oh, and wait a minute. Did Yeralenko just win a game? They have! And it's none other than last season's Pridnestrovian Bowl finalists the Rheinburg Spartans who will now bear the honor of giving the poorest team in the league this season their first ever win. I mean, how embarrassing can that be? (Surely not as embarrassing as supporting this piss-poor excuse of a CSKA Tiraspol team.)

PGSL Table After Matchday Eleven

                          Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Dinamo Bender           10   10   0   230  144  +86
 2 Sheriff Tiraspol        10    8   2   232  157  +75
 3 Bratsk Dolphins         10    7   3   209  148  +61
 4 Admiral Novorossiysk    10    5   5   233  168  +65
 5 CSKA Tiraspol           10    5   5   211  179  +32
 6 Macaresti Gladiators    10    5   5   199  199    0
 7 Rheinburg Spartans      10    4   6   178  208  −30
 8 Antakya Hawks           10    4   6   203  270  −67
 9 Kesselburger Kestrels   10    3   7   182  221  −39
10 Novonikolaysk Sharks    10    3   7   176  250  −74
11 Yeralenko Torpedoes     10    1   9   152  261 −109

So this is the PGSL table at the end of the first half of the season. As I've already said before, Dinamo Bender lead the way with ten wins out of ten and no losses at all. Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, the Yeralenko Torpedoes have at least finally managed to win one game, but it might as well be too little too late. If the PGSL had promotion and relegation (an option that's been discussed as a possibility in the next ten to twenty years, maybe) then the Torpedoes would be a prime candidate for relegation, and any bet to their going down to a lower division or league a sucker bet at the very least. On an interesting note though, the Macaresti Gladiators have scored exactly 199 points and have had 199 points scored against them, and they also have five wins and five losses. Talk about symmetry, man. But let's not look above the Gladiators, man. I hear it makes for depressing reading.

World Bowl Bonus! Group Stage Matchday Seven

Banija            10  6  6 10  32
Pridnestrovia      7  0  0  7  14

I almost didn't want to put this up after recapping that excellent conclusion to the first half of PGSL Season 2, but since it is my sworn duty to keep you up to date with Pridnestrovia's progress in the World Bowl, I have to do this, much as it breaks my heart to be the one to bring you the news that Pridnestrovia has lost a gridiron match against Banija.

Where do we even start with this clusterfuck? Banija won the toss but elected to kick the ball first so that they get it back in the third quarter. Stan Serban worked his usual magic, moving the chains up to the red zone before capping it off with a long toss to Vyacheslav Kozel for the opening touchdown of the game. After that, well, let's just say that things swung so hard in the Banijans' favor that (insert some joke about the Busoga Islands, the Equestrian States and the Commonwealth of Baker Park here).

Where to begin? Cyper Kasou found Kutubo Ceesay wide open in acres of space on Banija's first drive of the game and the left-hander heaved a 50-yard bomb to the speedster who then covered the remaining yards to the end zone in only a couple of seconds, leaving behind a lot of Pridnestrovian corners and safeties eating dust. Valentyn Sevyk then fumbled Stan the Man's short pass to him and Gidada Shale eventually came up with the ball, but fortunately enough for us the best that the Banijans could get out of the resulting possession was a field goal.

But worse was to come, comrades. Oh, believe me when I say that worse was to come. You need only look at both Banija's and Pridnestrovia's scores by quarter to know what I'm talking about. We were completely shut out of the second quarter, and the only consolation that we can get out of that dismal quarter was that we managed to keep Bubacar Jagne from putting the gloss on Kutubo Ceesay's second touchdown with a PAT. A shameful display, I tell you!

More misery was to be dumped upon us by fate in the third quarter and the opening six minutes of the fourth quarter, although at least we restricted the Banijans to three field goals during that time period. That made us think that our luck was turning, but in reality, it was not. Stan Serban threw yet another pick (another pick!) and this time Banija walked away from it with a touchdown as Obi Benti practically hugged the sidelines to avoid wide receivers and backs rushing to get him out of bounds before finally knocking the pylon over. Pridnestrovia would eventually get a second touchdown though from Gerald Svango but by then the game was already too far gone. No comebacks this time around.

Well, that's the end of the recap of the first half of the season of the PGSL for me, as well as some less than satisfactory result from the World Bowl which spontaneously appeared out of nowhere and was most certainly not created by yours truly. Stay tuned for the recap of the second half of Season 2 of the PGSL, and hopefully Pridnestrovia's luck turns in the World Bowl. До свидания.

by **Roglonia** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 10:05 am

We now return to our daily sports coverage here on Wake up, Roglonia™. We'll kick it off with our coverage of the World Bowl. Yesterday our boys took on Ashkam; a much easier task then their match up of the week before against Taeshan, one of the best teams in the world. Before the match against Ashkam we were able to get an interview with Head Coach Devonta, who according to rumours was at jeopardy of losing his coaching job not too long ago. We asked him how he was able to beat a much better and more established team, his response was "Who says they're better... the rankings? I'll tell you how we beat them... We've always had the talent in our team we just never had the chemistry and last week that's what you saw. The chemistry is finally their and it will take a hell of a team to break that bond we now have." Strong words from a very passionate coach.... that's all the time we have for coverage on the Taeshan game it's time to move on to the game against Ashkam.

This is another group rematch and one that our boys probably aren't worried too much about seeing as the national team of Ashkam has not won a single game in these qualifying games and lost to us earlier in the tournament.

1st Quarter - Not much happened this quarter, Estevez had a good drive and was able to get to the red zone after a phenomenal pass to Peter Steinberg, who ran a great route and was able to get separation from the very choppy secondary of Ashkam, eventually getting tackled by the Strong Safety. However, Ashkam's defense showed up in the red zone and was able to hold down Estevez for 3 downs forcing Devonta to send out the kicking team for a field goal. The Score is 3-0 in favor of Roglonia

2nd Quarter - A much more exciting Quarter for our Defense as during the first drive of Ashkam, the ball was intercepted around midfield by Gionni Alonzo, He took it down to the end zone for a touchdown, He and his cousin are killing it during this tournament. Pitt was feeling very Frisky and decided to go for a 2 point conversion attempt, the ball was handed over to power runner Alex Vaughn who despite showing great effort to break the plane was unable to get the ball across to the end zone thus only bringing up the score to 9-0 in favor of Roglonia. Seeing as Alonzo was able to score the defense is right back out on the field and were able to force another turnover in the very first play of the drive, Alex Jeter was able to tackle the Quarterback so hard that the ball popped out of his hand before he went down and was recovered by Fez Wulf who was brought down shortly after recovering the fumble. Estevez took advantage of this excellent field position and was able to get the ball into Elliot Vaughn's hands in the end zone for a Touchdown. This time Pitt send out the kicking team for the extra point and they made it bringing the score up to 16-0 in favor of Roglonia. The Defense was able to get a good 4th round stoppage at excellent field position however the clock was run down to 2 seconds so Pitt decided to send out the kicking team for a field goal. The score is now 19-0 in favor of Roglonia at the end of the first half. My My what an exciting Quarter.

3rd Quarter - When we thought we couldn't get any more better than the 2nd quarter, Alex Vaughn decides to prove us wrong. Vaughn broke 3 tackles to score a 40 yard rushing touchdown. The run was so great that reports have just come in that the fans at the stadiums have actually caused an earthquake... that's right I said the fans cheering and jumping caused an earthquake; #VaughnQuake has begun trending all over Bleeper. This brought up the score to 26-0 in favor of Roglonia.

4th Quarter - However, unfortunately for us the rest of the game was not nearly as exciting as this. Both defenses played excellent football for the remainder of the game making the 4th Quarter a scoreless Quarter.

What a one sided game this was, Alex Vaughn impressed the hell out of us today with that crazy #VaughnQuake run and earlier in the game his brother who scored that excellent catch for the touchdown making the Vaughn brothers the only guys on this offense to score today. The Defense did amazing holding down Ashkam to 0 points and forcing multiple turnovers as well as scoring off of one. Coach Devonta must be very thrilled today. That's it for our Football coverage on Wake up, Roglonia™. We hope to see you again next time!

Code: Select all: Quarter 1 2 3 4 Roglonia 3 16 7 0 Ashkam 0 0 0 0

by **Main Nation Ministry** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 12:06 pm

Duck Hunt

Carl and Maddie Montgomery carried their hunting rifles, as their friend Joe was using a duck call whistle to see if the ducks were still there. They managed to arrive at a good time, as the aerial drones were only combing the sector away from this one. Hunting was illegal in the nation to preserve the environment for the benefit of the ministry. However, some people don't listen. Joe raised his rifle, as he aimed and fired at a group of birds crouched near a pond. Joe ran towards the ducks to get another shot, until the two of them saw Joe suddenly lurched back and fall into the grass.

Carl and Maddie caught up to Joe to find his body. A large bullet wound was visible in the chest, as blood was flowing out. "Soldiers!" Carl immediately realized, as he tried to run back to the footpath from where they came from, only to get shot in the leg, falling to the ground. Soon, a group of ghillie suit wearing men with sniper rifles rose from the ground and surrounded the two. "You're only arrest for illegal hunting and trepassing." the lead soldier said, as he had his men apply handcuffs to the two.

To Influence

The Compound was still shiny, as Scientist Joey Steinberg remembered it. Walking down the hallway, he found the room that he needed to visit to conduct testing on a new "artifact" that the Ministry has created. As he passed by several containment rooms, he made sure he didn't have any eye contact with the artifact that calls himself Victor Bates, as Joey didn't hear the vile remarks and threats that Victor screamed at him through the glass. It was a good thing that it was soundproof.

Joey entered the testing lab, as he observed the large mass of vocal cords that appeared to be fused together in some sort of organic matter. Various metal parts were sticking out, including... were there ears growing on the side over there? A large mouth with inhuman teeth was positioned on an end of a large metal pole, that seemed to act as a speaker. "I can't tell if I should be grossed or amused. We created that?" Joey asked one of the head scientists, as he looked at the large mass of what seemed like body horror. "We managed to obtain small samples of human vocal cords, then we use those samples to be fused in with the artifact that's completely covered up. What happened is the artifact managed to react, as if it was part of it's body, so the samples we got became actual vocal cords." Head Scientist Ferrit explained.

"But why the mouth region?"
"Because we're making an influencer. It's a weird thing, but let me explain. We need to give people information and ideas that we can use to have them construct the beliefs that we want them to have. You see, you ever heard of a survey of children being able to easily recognize pop culture and commercial characters more than historical and real life ones. Head over here, quick." Ferrit had Joey follow him, as he led him to a testing area, where several children were looking a television that seemed to be made outta the same bodily materials, as whatever was used to construct the mass of vocal chords. On the TV screen was a man who wore a red sweater and was talking about a special cereal that children should eat that contained unrealistic amounts of sugar in each piece of cereal. "Also, remember! Each cereal box contains a special toy!" the man on TV explained, as a snake-fly hybrid slithered out of the cereal box, while the children watching the TV, laughed.

"What demonic netherworld artifact is causing this? How long has these children been watching this?" Joey demanded.
"3 days. The memetic effects have already caused large amounts of dental damage to them. They refuse to brush their teeth."
"You attempted to turn off the TV?"
"The TV manifested itself on it's own. It's on, as long as there people interested in seeing whatever is on it."
"How about forcing the TV to turn off?"
"We had a prisoner attempt to do so. There some sort of cockroach hive inside the TV, as some of them crawled out and covered it. Prisoner was a fear of bugs and nearly died of a heart attack."
"We could be dealing with a reality altering artifact here. We might have the kids turn their parents into monsters or at worst, open a portal to whatever world that artifact came from."

"Hang on. This is where the influencer comes into play. Look at this." Ferrit walked back to the main testing lab to a desk, where he grabbed a seemingly normal sports article. "Sporting World?" Joey asked. "Ahem. World Bowl XXXV: Free Republics beat Alenburg 16-0 in Masterpiece as Losers Protest "Sexism" Outside Stadium." Ferrit read the main title of the article. "What are you planning with that?"
"We are feeding information to the influencer. When we feed it information, it acts as a broadcaster of some sort. This causes more people to listen to that information and see it as normal, without the need to question."
"That sounds monstrous."
"Don't people say that to us all the time?"

The Meeting

"Richard? You're there?" Keller entered the hollow trunk of the tree to see Richard, trying to dream up something. "Richard!" Keller shook him slightly, as he woke up. "Keller, what is it?" Richard asked her, as she looked nervous, almost unprepared for something. "I need to head somewhere to get some intel on something. I need you to stay here." Keller gave him some grapes and a small knife. "Listen. Make sure you stay here. If they manage to find you, you need to run as far as possible from there. Don't be afraid to defend yourself. You promise?" Keller asked him, sounding more serious this time. Richard hesitated for a moment, before saying to her, "I will."

Keller looked through the hole to see her leave and go deeper into the forest. Richard began to question why his real name was Grendel. He didn't remember ever having a last name like Grendel, however the tone of Keller suggested that she could be telling the truth. However, Richard was still filled with doubt. It was almost creeping onto him, like a shadow, but he needed to stay focused.

Later..

(OOC: Mood Music)

"Why did the Leader have us here again?" A patrolling soldier asked another, as both of them were stationed to patrol the garden section of the park. The Leader had called for security to close the park, as he wished to take a nightly scroll as he claimed. This didn't sound odd to the soldiers, as they were simply protecting him. However, they needed to do their duty for the Leader. The park was neatly treated, as the flowers around the garden were blooming in perfect quality. The patrolling soldier separated from the other to check on an area of the park, they hadn't checked that. Walking to an observation platform, the soldier peeked over the railing to look at the lower areas of the park. They got to admit that it looked stunning, but he still needed to focus. He looked in the distance to see some areas, such as the gazebo, greenhouse and fountain. Scouting the lower area, he noticed two people down near the fountain.

Wait.

He looked familiar.. It's the Leader! Who was he with? And what were they doing? The soldier got out some binoculars to zoom in on the duo. What was that person doing with the Leader. What were they.. Wait, why did they have their hand around the Leader's neck?! The soldier got out his radio, observing the scene that was unfolding with the Leader in danger. "We need reinforcements now! There is a situation at the fountain! Leader appears to be in danger! Get your guns ready!" The soldier yelled into the radio, as several other patrolling men copied.

By now, most of the first responding soldiers were running as hard, as they could down by the fountain. "Did you get a visual on this hostile?" a soldier running by the one who sighted the Leader in distress asked. "Hostile appeared to be a teenager of some sort, wearing a school uniform. Hostile might still be around. That was when the first ones at the fountain noticed a cloud of smoke had erupted with no one else nearby. "This could be a kidnapping! Just stay focused and search the perimeter!"

The soldiers checked around the area, where one person noticed a glimpse of someone heading near the gazebo. "I think I found the hostile! I'm going in!" the soldier aimed their gun and walked slowly to the gazebo. There was the sound of movement, so there was someone nearby when the first soldier saw someone walking towards him, where he aimed his gun to see.. The Leader?
"Leader, sir?!"
"Just enjoying the night and scroll."
"But... But! But!"
"But what? Spit it out."
"We thought you were being kidnapped?"
The Leader stood silent for a brief moment and let out a laugh, letting off a happy mood.

"You probably just saw me almost falling into the fountain. You gotta admit that having snakefish in the fountain managed to make them have coins as their dinner. Relax, I'm perfectly fine!"
"But one of your men said, they saw you with some girl?"
"Girl? Relax, it's the beautiful of night and you're probably paranoid. Maybe everyone's paranoid. Have the men regroup here at the gazebo and you can escort me back to the government building. It's best to ignore what happened here. You think you can do that?"
"I.." the soldier wanted to say no, but the Leader would say that as a form of being yellow. "Yes, sir!"

by **Union of Socialist Alpine Republics** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 3:34 pm

The Alpine Union beat Alenburg and The Wolf Zones at home

After winning 29-3 over Alenburg at Linzmeier Finanziellen Platz, home of the Ueckermünde Eagles, the Alpines recieved The Wolf Zones at the same field and blanked them 10-0. The game against Alenburg was one the best game for the Bisons offensively, thanks to a 6 yards rushing touchdown by Coconut Riddick in the 1st quarter and a 18 yards recieving touchdown by Jennifer Killebrew in the 2nd quarter. The defense was strong again and generated some points with a 33 yards pick six by Nehemiah Charles in the 2nd quarter and a safety in the 3rd quarter. The Alpines also made two field goals in this game, one in the 3rd quarter and one in the 4th.

Alpine Union   7  14   5   3   -  29
Alenburg       3   0   0   0   -   3

On the following week, the Reprezentacja Alpejski recieved The Wolf Zones in the same stadium. Nothing relevant happened in the 1st half. Then the Alpine recieved the ball at the beginning of the 3rd quarter and made a 26 yards field goal on their first drive in this quarter to take a 3-0 lead. Then early in the 4th quarter, fullback LaDarius McElwain made a 1 yard rushing touchdown to put an end to a 9 minutes long drive by the Bisons. The final score was 10-0 Alpine Union.

Alpine Union     0   0   3   7   -  10
The Wolf Zones   0   0   0   0   -   0

On week 8, the Bisons will travel to the Free Republics to play against the Evil Republicans at the Gem of the Oceans Stadium in Republica, Free Republics. One of the most beautiful stadium in the multiverse, named after of of the most ugliest national anthem. Octavius Jones is doubtful against the FFR with a leg injury.

by **Newmanistan** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:00 pm

Cutoff for matchday 8!

Group 1
Bostopia 27–10 Lisander
Allamunnic States 44–0 The Frozen Forest
Abanhfleft 13–8 Starblaydia

  Group 1                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Allamunnic States               8    7   1   241   62 +179    21  Q
2 Abanhfleft                      8    6   2   180  127  +53    18
3 Lisander                        8    4   4   158  167   −9    12
4 Starblaydia                     8    3   5   138  126  +12     9
5 Bostopia                        8    2   6    77  164  −87     6
6 The Frozen Forest               8    2   6    68  216 −148     6

Group 2
South Covello 20–30 Jebslund
Razenthuria 22–7 Nevis and Kitts
Drawkland 0–7 Main Nation Ministry

  Group 2                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Main Nation Ministry            8    7   1   194   72 +122    21
2 Drawkland                       8    5   3   113   85  +28    15
3 Razenthuria                     8    5   3    92   86   +6    15
4 South Covello                   8    4   4   152  142  +10    12
5 Jebslund                        8    3   5   101  132  −31     9
6 Nevis and Kitts                 8    0   8    54  189 −135     0

Group 3
Pridnestrovia 23–13 Taeshan
Azadeshia 40–24 Ashkam
Roglonia 37–7 Banija

  Group 3                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Taeshan                         8    6   2   128   66  +62    18
2 Pridnestrovia                   8    6   2   148   99  +49    18
3 Roglonia                        8    5   3   148   91  +57    15
4 Banija                          8    4   4   111  137  −26    12
5 Azadeshia                       8    3   5   128  145  −17     9
6 Ashkam                          8    0   8    64  189 −125     0

Group 4
Northwest Kalactin 43–10 Holy Nazirealm
Newmanistan 9–34 Kaboomlandia
Qasden 20–0 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria

  Group 4                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Qasden                          8    7   1   187   73 +114    21
2 Kaboomlandia                    8    7   1   186   79 +107    21
3 Newmanistan                     8    5   3   154  123  +31    15
4 Northwest Kalactin              8    3   5   133  170  −37     9
5 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria       8    2   6    79  147  −68     6
6 Holy Nazirealm                  8    0   8    74  221 −147     0

Group 5
The Wolf Zones 3–22 Equestrian States
Barunia 17–3 Alenburg
Free Republics 6–0 Alpine Union

  Group 5                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Alpine Union                    8    6   2   156   36 +120    18
2 Barunia                         8    6   2   168   71  +97    18
3 Free Republics                  8    6   2    97   41  +56    18
4 Alenburg                        8    4   4    87  115  −28    12
5 Equestrian States               8    2   6    90  187  −97     6
6 The Wolf Zones                  8    0   8    18  166 −148     0

Group 6
Melbergia 3–13 Cassadaigua
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 6–16 Cosumar
Ko-oren 34–14 The Greater Nordics

  Group 6                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Ko-oren                         8    6   2   188  103  +85    18
2 Royal Kingdom of Quebec         8    6   2   140   83  +57    18
3 Cosumar                         8    5   3   193  113  +80    15
4 Cassadaigua                     8    4   4   104  100   +4    12
5 The Greater Nordics             8    2   6   104  204 −100     6
6 Melbergia                       8    1   7    41  167 −126     3

Group 7
United States of Devonta 3–3 Vangaziland (17–10 OT)
Velstrania 16–14 North Prarie
-Anthor- 23–0 Irwil

  Group 7                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Vangaziland                     8    6   2   150   98  +52    18
2 Velstrania                      8    6   2   109   73  +36    18
3 -Anthor-                        8    5   3   146   81  +65    15
4 United States of Devonta        8    3   5   101   99   +2     9
5 North Prarie                    8    3   5    96  125  −29     9
6 Irwil                           8    1   7    36  162 −126     3

by **Taeshan** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:30 pm

There have been some growing pains now for the world champions. Unscathed through the first half they have two losses now against both teams trailing them. While it seems unlikely that they would fail to advance, the team has had their defensive capabilities seemingly squashed. A rather lukewarm offense has seen them fall to an upstart Roglonia side, but now to a more than capable Pridnestrovia side. While the latter loss is surely not as much of a worrying fall. The first will concern many.

While it seems unlikely that the side will fail to advance with likely losses needed in both of the final matches, it begs the question how much the training has fallen for the teams at their club level. Undoubtedly the best team in the world over the past two tournaments, they have fallen on harder times. While the team seems mostly the same, perhaps some more changes are needed. Perhaps the world is catching up to the training regime, or a new coach is in order? Most notably some of the older, more experienced players have lacked in the recent games and should perhaps be on the chopping block. If they fail to make it to a third straight final, what happens?

by **Roglonia** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:34 am

We now bring you to our daily sports coverage on your favorite news show, Wake Up Roglonia™. We begin with our coverage of our national football team. This game was a lopsided victory for our boys against Banija and our sports expert Timmy O'Charles claims that it's all because of our Defense. O'Charles believes that despite this being our first time qualifying for the group stages of the tournament, Rousey has been able to develop our talented defense into a well oiled machine that can rival that of some of the highest ranked national teams and now with the addition of Estevez on offense who is able to capitalize on key defensive stoppages much much better than Okotawa has been able to do during this tournament this has made our nation's team one of the best teams during the 2nd half of the group qualifying stages.

Estevez is looking more and more like an elite quarterback, He scored three passing touchdowns. His chemistry with Levi Smith is unmeasurable, Smith reeled in two of those passing touchdowns and is clearly the biggest red zone threat this team has. Elliot Vaughn scored the other touchdown after embarrassing the double coverage with a crazy athletic catch. The defense is also looking out of this world, Another pick 6 by this defense today with a crazy play by the ball hawk Jamie Strawberry. Alex Jeter had an incredible feat as well, he was able to get his hands on the quarterback all night last night, totaling for 5 sacks in the night. The only touchdown this team gave up was in garbage time during the 4th quarter.

That covers today's coverage of the World Bowl. We thank you all for tuning in and be sure to catch the next World Bowl Game, Sunday at 9 PM.

Code: Select all: Quarter 1 2 3 4 Roglonia 10 14 7 6 Banija 0 0 0 7

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 1:54 am

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXV RECAP: MATCHDAY EIGHT

Abanhfleft         3  7  0  3  13
Starblaydia        0  6  0  2  8

We have done it again, lads and lasses. We have triumphed over Starblaydia once again in the field of gridiron football. There are some sports where Starblaydia is not so untouchable after all.

The big difference though between this game and the first one we played against the purple bastards is that not a lot of points were scored. You can say that that's a good thing because we kept their offense down to a minimum, and you can also say that that's a bad thing because they kept our offense down to a minimum as well. However, you can also say that the bare minimum of our offense was more than enough to defeat the Starblaydians' bare minimum offense.

So, the first quarter. Nothing much happened. Trust me on that. A field goal from Cleveland Hyneman, and that's all she wrote for the first. Very different story though in the second quarter. Abanhfleft had the ball at the Starblaydia 45-yard line to start off the second quarter and Harrison Aumann by working his usual magic moved the chains until the line of scrimmage was right on the 30-yard line. One incomplete pass later and Aumann somehow found Saddam Hussain in traffic, and the Dorfdifving Destroyers receiver lifted the ball up in the air Rafiki-style to keep it away from the searching hands of Ludvig Sorensson and then jumped backwards into the end zone for the first touchdown of the game.

Starblaydia responded in kind though, with Cesare Di Lorenzo tossing the ball to Dario Stefano for an almost immediate reply to our score. Unfortunately for them though, their kicker squibbed the PAT so the score remained at 10-6. After that point, things became, shall we say, underwhelming. Absolutely nothing of note happened in the third quarter, maybe some flags for holding and at least one false start and neutral zone infraction, but aside from that, nothing from the point-scoring standpoint. Another field goal from Cleveland Hyneman in the fourth quarter put a bit of a bigger gap between us and the purple bastards, which then grew just a little bit smaller after Harrison Aumann was sacked in the end zone to give the purple bastards a safety. That was all she wrote though, and though the match turned into a snoozefest in the second half, at least Abanhfleft walked away with a second win over Starblaydia (in gridiron football).

So two more games remain, with those being rematches against Bostopia and the Allamunnic States. What do you think are the odds that we'll lose against Bostopia before finally getting our sweet, sweet revenge on those Fanboys? If we know our Armored Revolutionaries well, pretty high actually. What can you do about it? Sacrifice a chicken to some random number goddess? That's the Copperites' thing. I don't want to be accused of cultural appropriation now, so let's keep away from that topic from now on and just stick to gabbing on gridiron. Zlata Panfilova, Zlata Panfilova, Zlata Panfilova....

by **Trans-Dniesters** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:31 am

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON II RECAP

Hello once again, friends, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron. Today we embark upon the second half of the second season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. Will someone finally defeat Dinamo Bender and put an end to their unbeaten run? Will CSKA Tiraspol finally get a couple of wins together? Will the Antakya Hawks or the Kesselburger Kestrels defy expectations and make it to the playoffs in their very first season in the PGSL? And will the Yeralenko Torpedoes get a second win of the season? Let's all find out together.

MATCHDAY TWELVE

Rheinburg Spartans      10  0  0  7  17
Antakya Hawks            3  3 10  7  23

Macaresti Gladiators     0  0  0  3   3
Sheriff Tiraspol        13 14 14  0  41

Dinamo Bender           10  7  7  7  31
Bratsk Dolphins         10  3  0  3  16

CSKA Tiraspol            3  6  7  3  19
Admiral Novorossiysk    10  3  0  3  16

Novonikolaysk Sharks     3  7 10  3  23
Kesselburger Kestrels    3  7  0  6  16

So it is possible for CSKA to win over their rivals after all. At the end of the first half of the season I had long given up hope of seeing the Army Team, my team, ever collecting another win against any other team in the PGSL already, but here it seems as if my pessimism has not been warranted. About the only criticism that I can give to this CSKA team that triumphed over their Navy rivals in Admiral Novorossiysk is that they have come to rely on the same tactic used against them by some earlier opponents in relying on field goals to put up points on the board and hopefully see them through to the end and victory. I must admit that a strange feeling came upon me when I was watching this game. As you can all see from my previous posts, I have come to hate the teams that rely on field goals to score in a game, but when it was CSKA's turn to use that particular tactic, I found myself wholeheartedly supporting it. Perhaps it is because of my bias to CSKA that I finally find myself cheering for this tactic (but then again, only when CSKA and/or the Pridnestrovian national gridiron team uses it).

Meanwhile, the Bratsk Dolphins lost in their bid to become the first team to beat Dinamo Bender this season. Kelly Profit did her best but her best wasn't good enough, while Rodion Tarasenko and Filipp Akimov continue to dominate the game like nobody's business. Meanwhile, the Macaresti Gladiators were absolutely ground to dust by Sheriff Tiraspol, who didn't let the Gladiators get a single point up on the board until the fourth quarter when all the Macaresti team could muster was a single measly field goal.Talk about utter domination! Two touchdowns per quarter in the first three quarters of the game for Sheriff... I don't think that's a feat that could ever be matched in the near future.

MATCHDAY THIRTEEN

Kesselburger Kestrels    7  0  3  0  10
CSKA Tiraspol            9  7 14  3  33

Admiral Novorossiysk     0 10  3  6  19
Dinamo Bender            0  6  6 10  22

Bratsk Dolphins          3 10  0  7  20
Macaresti Gladiators    10  0  3 10  23

Sheriff Tiraspol         3  0  3  0   6
Rheinburg Spartans      14  0  7 10  31

Antakya Hawks            0  7  0 10  17
Yeralenko Torpedoes      7  7  6 14  34

The Dinamo Bender juggernaut continues rolling with Admiral Novorossiysk being their latest victim. The Seamen made things a little bit more difficult for Dinamo but it was a touchdown without a PAT in the second quarter which proved to be the difference for Rodion Tarasenko's men and ensured that they would still keep their undefeated status for one more matchday. Also, both CSKA Tiraspol and Yeralenko Torpedoes continued their winning streaks, and they both won over the two expansion sides in the league. In CSKA's case, they completely bulldozed the Kesselburger Kestrels and didn't let the other team get points out of their possessions except in the first and third quarters, and even then CSKA just scored a shit-ton more points to ensure victory over the Kestrels. Meanwhile, it was a point explosion in the fourth quarter that saw the Torpedoes pick up only their second win of the season, first an actual touchdown from Maxine Stone and then a pick-six from Northwest Kalactin's Sean Brady. Are things finally taking a turn for the better for the Torpedoes?

MATCHDAY FOURTEEN

Yeralenko Torpedoes      0  0  0  0   0
Sheriff Tiraspol        10  6 10 13  39

Rheinburg Spartans       6  3  3  7  19
Bratsk Dolphins          0 10 10  3  23

Macaresti Gladiators     0  0 10  7  17
Admiral Novorossiysk     7  7 10  0  24

Dinamo Bender            3  3  7  3  16
Kesselburger Kestrels    7  0  0  3  10

CSKA Tiraspol            9  3  7 17  36
Novonikolaysk Sharks     3  3 10  0  16

Apparently not! Not only did Yeralenko lose against Sheriff Tiraspol on matchday fourteen to end their fans' (brief) hopes for a revival, the Torpedoes were also completely shut out of the game! I mean the Torpedoes literally did not score any points! Lee Jonghwa "Jeffrey" simply did not have the dream debut as starting quarterback for the torpedoes that he probably would have wanted. No, it was more like a nightmare for him as it seemed like every pass that he tried to make couldn't connect at all to one of his teammates. Maxine Stone did her best to help Jeffrey out but even she was overwhelmed by the Sheriff defense, chief among them Azadeshia's Ravi Haradas.

In happier news though, CSKA keeps its run rolling with another big win over the Novonikolaysk Sharks. Whatever it was that the Army Team was doing wrong before, they've changed it up now and they're reaping the dividends of changing up their tactics. That fourth quarter though! Two back-to-back touchdowns from Demyan Nikitich Medvedev and a final field goal to cap off the proceedings. Where has this CSKA team been all this time?

Oh, and Dinamo Bender are still undefeated. The Kesselburger Kestrels are the latest team to fail to stand up to the challenge of Dinamo. The Kestrels did manage to keep Dinamo below twenty points scored, and that's practically an achievement for any team in the PGSL at this point, let alone an expansion team. But it still wasn't enough for the team from Kesselburg to put an end to Dinamo's streak. Oh well.

World Bowl XXXV Bonus! Group Stage Matchday Eight

Pridnestrovia      3 13  0  7  23
Taeshan            6  7  0  0  13

And now we turn our attention back to the World Bowl where, most surprisingly, we have won against the defending World Bowl champions Taeshan! What the fuck!? Is this real or is this a fantasy? How can this be? How did this even happen in the first place? I just simply cannot believe it!

All right, I have recovered. Let's see if I can get through this without having another anxiety attack, shall we? In the first quarter, Taeshan won the toss and elected to kick, therefore giving us the best chance to start off the game with a bang by scoring in our opening drive. And we did indeed score, but the thing is that all we were able to muster then was a field goal from 32 yards away. Not the most impressive start then. And then Taeshan did better than us thanks to Patrick Wantanabe hauling in the ball from a Sam Clentimack bullet pass to complete a 22-yard touchdown. The only consolation that we could get out of it though was that Taeshan could not complete the PAT. Ha-ha!

But the second quarter... Oh, boy, that was when things changed. But it didn't look that way initially. At first the best that we could do in the quarter was a pair of field goals, and they sandwiched between them another touchdown from Taeshan, this one a direct result of Clentimack sneaking into the end zone. But then Stan Serban connected with Valentyn Sevyk for a 16-yard touchdown to give Pridnestrovia a surprise 16-14 lead over the defending World Bowl champions, and suddenly things were not looking good for the Purple Knights.

That being said, nothing of interest happened for the rest of the game except for that brief moment in the fourth quarter where Stan Serban made a lateral pass to Denis Sokolov that managed to take the Taeshan defense completely by surprise, hence allowing Sokolov the space needed to run into the end zone for what would turn out to be the winning touchdown of the game. It's a play that's sure to be revisited by every other team in the World Bowl in preparation for a potential meeting with the Pridnestrovian Republic in the future. Although, now that I have said that, that may have just jinxed Pridnestrovia into not qualifying for the next stage of the World Bowl. Oh, well. This is why we can't have nice things.

So that wraps up the first part of my recap of the second half of the second season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. We still have quite a lot of games to go through so don't think about forgetting to come back here for part two of the second half of the PGSL season! And now, folks, I bid you all До свидания.

by **Alenburg** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 8:05 am

Winning,playing and....keep playing!

That was the tittle from loirgrunzodd Herald

[b]Our boys made it,they won their game against Free Republics with a Field Goal and on the 4th Quarter with just 1 minute before a almost reached OT, but i want to write something to our boys my complete respect to our Defense Coordinator Mike Tomlin a man who managed to control and push Free Republics Team specially to our LineBackers who were a nightmare for Free Republics RB Matthijn Admiraal and QB Wibe Rus using an uncommon formation integrated by Rex Lockwood,Tyler L Bat but this time Ross Braun changed positions to play MLB and Lockwood played OLB best decision ever made those three guys were a complete nightmare for the FR offense 4 sacks by player and Ross Braun completed 3 interceptions i can not be more proud of this team that with claws managed to beat this titanic team,the anthem sounded all night long on Grunbeld Stadium and Bardur Town, but what about Barunia beating our Falken? Well somebody says our boys played badly thanks to a hangover others the team were demoralized but you know what? our team is still competing now hunting the Equestrean States and then i think they will be hungry for some Wolfs [/b]

Archibald Koetzee (Loirgrunzodd Herald Sports Section Writer)

by **Union of Socialist Alpine Republics** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 11:57 am

OOC: here's an excerpt of the football game on Bear Sports Network between the Alpine Union and the Free Republics. Samantha Riddick, the reporter on the sidelines, met Coconut Riddick during the Baptism of Iron XVII held in Gregoryisgodistan and they got married right after the World Bowl XXXI.

Leo Nicholls: "We're ready to start the 3rd quarter. Ewan Wilkinson kicks the ball, Rashad Jennings picks it up in the endzone and runs.. he's at the 10 yards line... 20 yards line... he's tackled by Branislav Obad at the 26 yards line."

Jim: "Nice tackle there by Obad. Obad ain't no bad lol"

Leo: "1st and 10 Alpine Union. It's a rushing play, Coconut finds a hole and picks up 6 yards."

Jim: "Nice run by Coconut, there was a hole between the center and the right guard and he just ran over there."

Leo. "2nd and 4. Clifford Jenkins is gonna throw. He's waiting.. he's throwing deep to Jennifer Killebrew... oh crap... Simon Gregersen picks the ball up and he's pushed out of bounds by Jennifer Killebrew at the 42 yards line in Alpine territory. "

Jim: "Why did he throw? No one was open! He should've thrown the ball to the sidelines!"

Leo: "1st and 10 Free Republics at the 42 yards line... it's a run... oh my god he fumbles the ball.. Nick Knox jumps on the ball!"

Jim: "Holy crap we got the ball back! D.J. Floyd forced the fumble and Knox picked up the lose ball. It's a -3 yards run with a fumble for Matthijn Admiraal."

Leo: "1st and 10 Bisons at the 45 yards line in their own teritory... it's a run again.. oh my ... Coconut fumbles the ball and the republicans got it. "

Jim: "Oh no! We have to say it's a great play by Big Mo Henderson who forced the fumble and Gregorio Trevisano recovered it."

Leo: 1st and 10 Evil Republicans at the 46 yards line in Alpine territory. Wibe Rus walks back... he's throwing... intercepted! intercepted!"

Jim: "Holy crap! Another turnover! Kareem Johnson intercepted the ball and returned it to the 27 yards line in his own territory. ... I think... Ryan Ferguson is injured on the play... he's getting off of the field helped by two teammates...

Leo: 1st and 10 Alpines... Coconut runs to the right... oh my ... he fumbles the ball again. Valentin Immonen picks up the ball and he's tackled by Kris Hunter.

Jim: "I'm speechless... 5 turnovers in 5 plays... great play there by Michel Lizotte who forced the fumble... "

Leo: "1st and 10 Free Republics at the 25 yards in Alpine territory. They aren't taking any chance and they bring the field goal unit on the field... it's a 42 yards attempt for Dean Kevin...he kicks the ball and... and... the kick is good... the Free Republics are leading 6-0."

Jim: "Well well well... the offense needs to play better..."

Leo: "We're gonna talk to Samantha Riddick... she have an update about Ferguson's injury...

Sam: "hiiii guys!"

Jim: "Hi!"

Leo "Yo!"

Sam: "I talked to the team doctor and Ryan Ferguson is fine... he gasped when he was pancaked by an offensive lineman... he's fine and he'll be back on the field when the defense will be on the field again."

Jim: Nice. So how's your husband? Not a good game for him."

Sam: "Yeah... I didn't talk to him but he looks furious at himself right now... "

Leo: "Well... losing the ball two times... it doesn't happen often for him..."

Jim: "FUDGE!"

Leo: "Hmm Jim don't say bad words on tv!"

Jim: "Sorry... but I'm looking at the WBC results on my phone and the Alpine Union is losing 7-0 against Newmanistan.. they're in the bottom 7th right now and Zlatan Belec just striked out...

Sam: "Oh no... I really thought we could beat Newmanistan this year...."

Leo: "okay.. well... the Alpine Union just punted the ball and the Free Republics will start their drive at their own 23 yards line. "

by **Ko-oren** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:14 pm

International Gridiron
Love it, hate it

Don't get me wrong, Ko-orenites love national teams playing Gridiron. The Dragonflies consistently rank in the top 10 when it comes to viewership across the nation, and usually their first and second knock-out round games are among the top 5 television programmes watched in the year. Usually that is also when the Dragonflies bow out, though we've seen some longer campaigns (the one that saw us win a World Bowl comes to mind, obviously). And when the actual World Bowl starts, which to us, is when the knock-outs start or some sort of second group stage kicks off, the nation is gripped by it. Games involving Taeshan, Allamunnic States, Cosumar, the Free Republics and Kaboomlandia, and Drawkland more recently, aren't exactly seen by nobody either. Gridiron is a massively popular sport in Ko-oren, rare in that it's enjoyed by many people in most of the 12 provinces, like soccer. All other sports, how big they might be, only enjoy that status in one or a few provinces. This doesn't take anything away from these sports, but it does illustrate how big gridiron (and soccer) are.

That said, the group stages are notorious for not drawing audiences. Except for the Dragonflies' games, and the occasional matchup between good teams where two good teams have 'accidentally' been drawn together in one group, audiences are pretty small for the first stage of the Bowl. The quality of teams, politely said, varies. Every nation starts somewhere, and Ko-oren isn't where it once was (although the two wins over Cosumar helped!), but god help us, some of the group stage play is bad. Most people only know it from the scorelines, which are either blowouts or so low-scoring that one might wonder if offences just had 9 or 10 people on the field at all times. Only the highlights are seen for some of these games, and the occasional blooper reel.

Let's go over some of these scores, though. Just to see how embarrassing it can get. These are scores just from the 6th matchday:
Bostopia 0–30 Allamunnic States
Free Republics 33–0 Equestrian States
Ko-oren 17–0 Cassadaigua
United States of Devonta 0–13 Velstrania

That's four shutouts in 21 games, 19% of games end in a shutout. Want to know how many games ended in a single-score difference between the two teams? 2. Banija 14–10 Ashkam, a game mostly to determine whether Banija will catch up to their ,500 record and for Ashkam to maybe not finish last. And there was The Greater Nordics 21–14 Cosumar, a huge upset! And thanks guys!

Just a fluke? Here's matchday 7:
Ashkam 0–26 Roglonia
Holy Nazirealm 0–27 Newmanistan
Alpine Union 10–0 The Wolf Zones
Alenburg 3–0 Free Republics
Cassadaigua 0–9 Royal Kingdom of Quebec

That's five from 21 (24%). And that 3-0 score, what is this, the 30s? And there was a 9-0 as well. Three field goals? A TD and a safety? A theme is that Cassadaigua seems like a terrible team for getting two straight shutouts, but they're actually a pretty decent team with two bad days against two strong opponents (humble brag). How many games ended in under a score? 6. Ok, so maybe matchday 6 was a fluke. Still, there's something wrong with your competition when you're celebrating the fact there have been more close games than shutouts in a single random round.

And how could we forget round 8?
Allamunnic States 44–0 The Frozen Forest
Drawkland 0–7 Main Nation Ministry
Qasden 20–0 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria
Free Republics 6–0 Alpine Union
-Anthor- 23–0 Irwil

Gah Allamunnic States, that team has a family. That's the second time you're on here. Again, 24% of games ended in shutouts (including a 6-0 and a 7-0). Also 24% of games ended closely in less than 8 points between the winning and losing team. And then there was the game that made all of us do a double take looking at the box score: United States of Devonta 3–3 Vangaziland (17–10 OT). We all know that feeling when teams score 21 points in overtime after just 6 in regular time (Ko-oren 13–13 Cosumar (26–23 OT), round 2).

Really though, we're loving national team gridiron. Seeing some culture, some habits and traditions different from ours. We love the crazy overtime rules, where the domestic league just settles for a draw after the clock hits 00:00. We don't mind low-scoring grinds, as long as teams look somewhat competent. We can live with the shutouts. But please, football gods, let the World Bowl begin already.

Also, can the Free Republics please figure out football please? They've made the list three times, on every matchday, twice shutting out opponents but also receiving a whooping once. Can the Allamunnic States be nerfed in the metagame too, please? They're OP enough as is, and I'm losing sleep over the thought that we might face them at all if we even make the World Bowl first.

by **Main Nation Ministry** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 5:45 pm

Richard sat in the hollow trunk, as Keller was away for what seemed like hours. Did she get captured by the authorities? But what would happen if he got caught, also? Would they take him back home or back to the building he was imprisoned at? He needed to know why he was chosen. It was getting late again and his eyes were beginning to close. Perhaps with the comforts of sleep is where he will get his knowledge.

When he tried to open his eyes again, he found his eyes were being filled by a bright light. He was in a void of some sort of empty light. He looked down to see that he was standing, yet when he took a step forward, it felt like he was on solid ground. Richard walked forward, not knowing of what direction he was actually heading. That was when he saw an outline of a woman. He didn't see all of her, but only a thin outline that seemed to make her look like an almost erased 2D image that trying to come to life. "Oh what soul have you come to claim, may I ask?" the woman spoke, though Richard can't see her mouth. "I come, because... I come for knowledge."

"Of what knowledge do you seek?"
"I need to know whatever is part of the truth or is a lie. I feel like I was a part of something, but I'm going to be a part of something more."
"You remember anything of what brought you here?"
"I remember doing well at a quiz. I was sorta the smartest in school. Then, this people that seemed important wanted me. They held me against my will?"
"No..." the woman's voice grew louder, as Richard felt a wave that went through him.

"Your will has always been from your control. The only way to understand why you asked for me is to understand about the "problem" that you can solve."
"The problem? What is the problem?"
"It's a problem that seems important to all, expect you."
"Where do I solve it?"
"Only time will tell. However, you need to remember to not let doubt fill you. Look." The woman raised her outlined arm to point at an approaching darDkness that came in the form of a man with a hat and suit, cloaked in shadows.

"What you see is the dark soul. You will be filled with it. Don't let it overcome you. There is information that this world you live in cannot see. However, you need to learn it by solving the problem. Now, wake up."
"Wake up? How?"
"Wake up."

"Wake up."

Richard opened his eyes to see that day has finally arrived, as the sun rose. Richard looked outside to see that Keller hasn't made it back. He knew that something was about to be done, but he needed to find her to know. Richard stretched for a bit and started to get his bearings. He had something coming from the sky. Drones. He remembered about the drones, but he will embarked on his journey when they leave. After Richard entered back into the trunk, he wondered about what has happened to Keller.

by **Newmanistan** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:10 pm

Times running out!
Who will come up big in the next to last matchday!
Find out after this cutoff.

Group 1
Abanhfleft 9–6 Bostopia
Starblaydia 3–17 Allamunnic States
The Frozen Forest 14–23 Lisander

  Group 1                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Allamunnic States               9    8   1   258   65 +193    24  Q
2 Abanhfleft                      9    7   2   189  133  +56    21  Q
3 Lisander                        9    5   4   181  181    0    15
4 Starblaydia                     9    3   6   141  143   −2     9
5 Bostopia                        9    2   7    83  173  −90     6
6 The Frozen Forest               9    2   7    82  239 −157     6

Group 2
Drawkland 26–7 South Covello
Main Nation Ministry 10–0 Razenthuria
Nevis and Kitts 3–10 Jebslund

  Group 2                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Main Nation Ministry            9    8   1   204   72 +132    24  Q
2 Drawkland                       9    6   3   139   92  +47    18
3 Razenthuria                     9    5   4    92   96   −4    15
4 South Covello                   9    4   5   159  168   −9    12
5 Jebslund                        9    4   5   111  135  −24    12
6 Nevis and Kitts                 9    0   9    57  199 −142     0

Group 3
Roglonia 17–30 Pridnestrovia
Banija 13–12 Azadeshia
Ashkam 17–24 Taeshan

  Group 3                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Taeshan                         9    7   2   152   83  +69    21  Q
2 Pridnestrovia                   9    7   2   178  116  +62    21  Q
3 Roglonia                        9    5   4   165  121  +44    15
4 Banija                          9    5   4   124  149  −25    15
5 Azadeshia                       9    3   6   140  158  −18     9
6 Ashkam                          9    0   9    81  213 −132     0

Group 4
Qasden 0–9 Northwest Kalactin
Vakolicci Haven & Celeria 10–20 Newmanistan
Kaboomlandia 28–7 Holy Nazirealm

  Group 4                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Kaboomlandia                    9    8   1   214   86 +128    24  Q
2 Qasden                          9    7   2   187   82 +105    21
3 Newmanistan                     9    6   3   174  133  +41    18
4 Northwest Kalactin              9    4   5   142  170  −28    12
5 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria       9    2   7    89  167  −78     6
6 Holy Nazirealm                  9    0   9    81  249 −168     0

Group 5
Free Republics 20–0 The Wolf Zones
Alpine Union 10–7 Barunia
Alenburg 20–7 Equestrian States

  Group 5                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Alpine Union                    9    7   2   166   43 +123    21
2 Free Republics                  9    7   2   117   41  +76    21
3 Barunia                         9    6   3   175   81  +94    18
4 Alenburg                        9    5   4   107  122  −15    15
5 Equestrian States               9    2   7    97  207 −110     6
6 The Wolf Zones                  9    0   9    18  186 −168     0

Group 6
Ko-oren 19–3 Melbergia
The Greater Nordics 3–17 Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Cosumar 31–7 Cassadaigua

  Group 6                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Ko-oren                         9    7   2   207  106 +101    21
2 Royal Kingdom of Quebec         9    7   2   157   86  +71    21
3 Cosumar                         9    6   3   224  120 +104    18
4 Cassadaigua                     9    4   5   111  131  −20    12
5 The Greater Nordics             9    2   7   107  221 −114     6
6 Melbergia                       9    1   8    44  186 −142     3

Group 7
-Anthor- 3–13 United States of Devonta
Irwil 3–23 Velstrania
North Prarie 6–6 Vangaziland (19–16 OT)

  Group 7                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Velstrania                      9    7   2   132   76  +56    21  Q
2 Vangaziland                     9    6   3   166  117  +49    18
3 -Anthor-                        9    5   4   149   94  +55    15
4 United States of Devonta        9    4   5   114  102  +12    12
5 North Prarie                    9    4   5   115  141  −26    12
6 Irwil                           9    1   8    39  185 −146     3

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:15 am

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXV RECAP: MATCHDAY NINE

Abanhfleft      3  3  3  0  9
Bostopia        3  3  0  0  6

Well, that was a game that could have definitely gone much better than it actually. Never mind that we won; the aesthete in me wants to see touchdowns in a game of gridiron, not field goals! If I wanted to see men and women kick a ball for long distances, I would've watched the other kind of football instead!

All things said, that was all that happened in this rematch between Abanhfleft and Bostopia: people kicking field goals like no one's business. You can basically boil this game down to being Cleveland Hyneman versus Keira Butler (in case you haven't noticed or couldn't tell, those two are the kickers for the Fleftic and Bostopian teams respectively). Because that's what it is. Back and forth field goals for the whole of the first half, interspersed with some three and outs and perhaps a turnover on downs or two. This cycle appeared to go on and on when Cleveland made his third field goal of the game, until it didn't, and we finally managed to put a firm stop to the Bostopian offense (once again by squishing those girls like bugs which I have said before and will say again I don't really like).

So, now that that's over, what should we talk about now? There's a rugby sevens series going on right now, but that's Cousin Graham's area, and I wouldn't want to deprive him of his life's work, so hop on over to The Rugby Rundown if you would like to get some rugby updates. And the 29th World Lacrosse Championships is also ongoing right now but once again, to talk about it would be depriving Cousing Aisling of some much-needed traffic and viewership, so if you're interested in women (and now men also!) throwing balls around with a weird net-shaped stick, head on over to The Lacrosse Lamentations for your daily (or more likely weekly) lacrosse fix.

Well, this was an awfully short gab. Not much else that we can do really. Abanhfleft kicked three field goals and Bostopia kicked two, and because of that we won. You won't find a more succinct description of the game than that. Bradley Votaw, Bradley Votaw, Bradley Votaw....

by **Trans-Dniesters** » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:50 am

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON II RECAP

Hello again, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron. We are already almost three-fourths of the way through to recapping the second season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League, and I see no reason for us to stop now. So let's get to it already.

MATCHDAY FIFTEEN

Novonikolaysk Sharks     6  0  7  0  13
Dinamo Bender            0 14  0  6  20

Kesselburger Kestrels    3  7  3  0  13
Macaresti Gladiators     7  3  3  3  16

Admiral Novorossiysk     0  0  3  7  10
Rheinburg Spartans       3 10  3  0  16

Bratsk Dolphins          0  3  0  0   3
Yeralenko Torpedoes      7  0  3  7  17

Sheriff Tiraspol         6  3  7  0  16
Antakya Hawks            0 10  0 10  20

Dinamo Bender's winning streak continues, and this time it's the Novonikolaysk Sharks who failed in their bid to put an end to Dinamo's utter dominance of the PGSL in this season. The Sharks actually looked like they might actually be the first team to defeat the Dinamo with their first quarter touchdown from Cortez Amoroso's run, but then Dinamo scored two touchdowns in the second quarter to swing the game back in their favor, and after that the game was well and truly Bender's to win. The Sharks tried to crawl their way back into the game and almost succeeded with a second touchdown in the third quarter but Dinamo put a stop to that with two field goals in the fourth quarter.

As far as teams winning goes, the Yeralenko Torpedoes have managed to get another win, this time against the Bratsk Dolphins. I've said before that this season could prove to be a breakout season for both the Dolphins and their quarterback Kelly Profit, but one thing that I have failed to mention in my earlier preview for the Dolphins is the fact that Bratsk might suffer yet another second half of the season collapse, thus endangering their position in the playoff spots and taking them out of the Pridnestrovian Bowl equation altogether. And it looks like that collapse might be happening to them once again this season. Also, how in the world can you score just one field goal against the undisputed worst team in the league this season? Sometimes I wonder if being a Bratsk Dolphins fan is just as difficult if not even harder than being a CSKA fan.

MATCHDAY SIXTEEN

Antakya Hawks           10  7  0  7  24
Bratsk Dolphins          0  0  6  0   6

Yeralenko Torpedoes      0  7  0  7  14
Admiral Novorossiysk     6  3  9  7  25

Rheinburg Spartans       0  7  0  0   7
Kesselburger Kestrels    7  0  0 13  20

Macaresti Gladiators     3  3 10  7  23
Novonikolaysk Sharks     7  3  3  0  13

Dinamo Bender           10 10  6  3  29
CSKA Tiraspol            3  7  0 10  20

My personal misery has just been officially compounded, what with both CSKA and Bratsk losing their games in this particular matchday. At least I can still feel proud of the first team that I support, which is CSKA. At least they put up a good fight against the bastards from Bender even if, once again, the other team resorted to field goals to get an advantage over the Army Team. I cannot say the same for the Bratsk Dolphins, however. I mean, how in the world can you score only two field goals against an expansion team, and a struggling one at that? It's not like Antakya are absolutely dominating in the league the way Dinamo Bender are. There is simply no explanation for the fact that the Dolphins are collapsing again in the second half of the season. Or maybe there is, and that's what they need to address in the coming offseason so that they can finally take that next step forward to becoming a true Pridnestrovian Bowl team.

MATCHDAY SEVENTEEN

CSKA Tiraspol            7  7  3  3  20
Macaresti Gladiators     0 14  3  0  17

Novonikolaysk Sharks    10  7  0  7  24
Rheinburg Spartans       3  3  0  3   9

Kesselburger Kestrels    0 14  7 10  31
Yeralenko Torpedoes     10  3 17  0  30

Admiral Novorossiysk    14  0  0  7  21
Antakya Hawks            0 10  7  7  24

Bratsk Dolphins          3  0  3  7  13
Sheriff Tiraspol        14  3  7  7  31

Today is Dinamo Bender's bye day, so they get to hold on to their undefeated status for at least one more matchday. The lucky cheating bastards. As for the teams that did play games today, let's just say that they all didn't disappoint (except for Bratsk, who instead continues to disappoint with their abysmal second half of the season form).

Arguably the match of the day has to be the one between Kesselburg and Yeralenko. Never have I seen a single game this season that involves such a back-and-forth nature until now. It's like the lead has shifted every quarter. First the Torpedoes led 10-0, then the Kestrels came back to lead 14-10. The team from Yeralenko then thought that they had won the game with their 17-point explosion in the third quarter, but then Maha Patel scored the touchdown that saw the Kestrels equalize with the Torpedoes, and then Feodor Pushkov scored the vital PAT that would eventually give the victory to the men from Kesselburg. Now that is what the PGSL is all about! Action and suspense and general nailbiting edge-of-your-seat stuff!

Almost the same can be said for the game between Admiral Novorossiysk and the Antakya Hawks, although this was more of a topsy-turvy game that you would expect to see in the World Bowl than anything else. Still, it must hurt for Admiral fans to think that the field goal that Antakya took in the second quarter would turn out to be the decisive factor in their victory over the Seamen. I know I would feel the same if I was in their situation.

On a side note, CSKA won and Bratsk lost. Go figure!

PGSL Table After Matchday Seventeen

                          Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Dinamo Bender           15   15   0   348  222 +126
 2 Sheriff Tiraspol        15   11   4   365  224 +141
 3 CSKA Tiraspol           15    9   6   339  267  +72
 4 Bratsk Dolphins         16    8   8   290  293   −3
 5 Macaresti Gladiators    16    8   8   298  330  −32
 6 Antakya Hawks           15    8   7   311  364  −53
 7 Admiral Novorossiysk    16    7   9   348  280  +68
 8 Rheinburg Spartans      16    6  10   277  314  −37
 9 Kesselburger Kestrels   16    5  11   282  346  −64
10 Novonikolaysk Sharks    15    5  10   265  354  −89
11 Yeralenko Torpedoes     15    3  12   247  376 −129

I don't think I need to say a lot with regards to the PGSL table after matchday seventeen. Dinamo Bender are still on top with 15 wins out of 15 while Sheriff Tiraspol are the only other team in the league to have broken the ten-win mark. CSKA Tiraspol seem to edging closer to that landmark though with 9 wins while the Bratsk Dolphins have slipped down to fourth place with a series of losses. The Antakya Hawks are surprisingly within the playoff places while the other expansion team the Kesselburger Kestrels are knocking on the doors of the playoffs. Wouldn't it be something if both expansion teams made it into the playoffs of the PGSL in their very first season in the league? Meanwhile, the Yeralenko Torpedoes have long since given up on dreaming for the playoffs, and they are now content with just trying to get a few more wins to their name before the regular season ends.

World Bowl XXXV Bonus! Matchday Nine

Roglonia           7  3  7  0  17
Pridnestrovia      3  6 14  7  30

And now for some more World Bowl action. This time we face off against Roglonia once again, who have now replaced their quarterback with a new one in Hector Estevez, who looks like he has done very well in motivating both the offense and the defense in performing for the team once again. For all of the first quarter, that is. Once the second quarter kicked in and we scored a couple more field goals, the tide had turned and the game was now in Pridnestrovia's favor. Two touchdowns in the third quarter gave the game to our Red Army, and then one more Valentyn Sevyk touchdown sealed the deal.

Sorry for that very brief recap of the World Bowl game. I had a longer write-up written but I accidentally (and stupidly) closed my browser before I could have saved that write-up and now it's all gone, and I don't have the strength anymore to call it all back to mind again. Curse you, my fat fingers and bizarre hand-eye coordination! But that does it for the recap of the second half of the PGSL season. With only five more matchdays to go, will we see a few familiar names slip out of playoff contention, or will some new names force their way into the conversation? There's only one way to find out and that's to keep watching out for the PGSL Season 2 recap! До свидания.

PS: Does this mean that we own the Golden Bowl now?

by **Union of Socialist Alpine Republics** » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:58 am

The Alpine Union defeats Barunia in a 4th quarter thriller!

Oglethorpe, Republic of Chattahoochee - (NAP) One week after the 6-0 loss against the Free Republics, the Alpine Union recieved Barunia at the Zack Murphy Stadium in Oglethorpe. The Bisons made a 28 yards field goal midway in the 2nd quarter and were leading 3-0 at the halftime. Roger Taylor scored a touchdown on a 11 yards run just before the end of the 3rd quarter and Barunia were leading 7-3.

With 3:35 remaining in the 4th quarter and 2 time outs left, the Alpine Union recieves the ball at their own 36 yards line. Coconut Riddick runs for 5 yards. Clifford Jenkins passed to Jennifer Killbrew for 18 yards. 1st and 10 at the 41 yards in Barunian territory with 2:45 remaining and 2 time outs left. Coconut Riddick runs for 3 yards. Coconut Riddick runs for 4 yards. Two minutes warning. 3rd and 3 at the 34 yards line. Clifford Jenkins makes a screen pass to Jarius Floyd who runs to the 26 yards line for the 1st down. 1:36 remaining. Coconut Riddick runs for 6 yards. 1:10 remaining. Clifford Jenkins makes a screen pass to Barkevious Hawkins who'se pushed out of bonds at the 7 yards line. 1st and 10 and 0:59 remaining with 2 time outs left. Coconut Riddick runs for 4 yards. Time Out Alpine Union. Coconut Riddick runs for 1 yard. Time out Reprezentacja Alpejski. Clifford Jenkins' pass to John McRae is incomplete. 4th and goal at the 2 yard line. 0:42 remaining. Clifford Jenkins runs through the middle, touchdown Alpine Union!

The Bisons won 10-7 in a 4th quarter thriller and they're in 1st place in group 5, tied with the Free Republics, with 21 points. Barunia is 3rd with 18 points. The Alpine Union is travelling to the Equestrian States on week 10 while Barunia will receive the Free Republics. We could have 2 nations tied in group 5 and we even could have a three way tie! All the possible scenarios are explained below. Following the game against Barunia, coach Kurt McAdams announced Clifford Jenkins will rest against the Equestrian States to be ready for the playoffs. 23 years old quarterback Haylie Woo will get her first World Bowl start.

Alpine Union   0   3   0   7   -  10
Barunia        0   0   7   0   -   7

BOXSCORE

1ST QUARTER
No score

2ND QUARTER
8:38 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (28 yards)

3RD QUARTER
2:34 - Touchdown by Roger Taylor (11 yards run). Extra point by Josh Bell.

4TH QUARTER
0:42 - Touchdown by Clifford Jenkins (2 yards run). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead.

Scenarios

Scenario 1: Alpine Union loses. Barunia wins over the Free Republics.

If the Alpines loses and Barunia wins, we'll have a three way tie. Let's look at head to head records. The Bisons won one and lost one against both the FFR and Barunia for a 2-2 record. On week 5 FFR defeated Barunia, so if Barunia wins on week 10, Barunia and the FFR will both have a 2-2 record. it will come down on points difference between the 3 teams and the Alpines are in good position with a 23-0 win against the Free Republics on week 3. The Bisons are expected to qualify and finish in 1st place in case of a 3 way tie, unless Barunia wins by a big margin against the FFR, then the Alpines will be 2nd. Barunia will probably be the other team who will qualify while the FFR have to hope to qualify on a wild card.

Scenario 2: Alpine Union wins. Barunia wins over the Free Republics.

If the Reprezentacja Alpejski wins and the FFR loses, the Alpine Union will finish 1st in group 5. We'll have a tie between Barunia and the FFR and it will come down on points difference beetween these two teams.

Scenario 3: Alpine Union loses. Free Republics wins over Barunia.

If the Bisons loses and the FFR wins, the FFR will finish 1st in group 5. The Alpine Union will be 2nd with 21 points and Barunia, 3rd with 18 points. No tie there.

Scenario 4: Alpine Union wins. Free Republics wins over Barunia.

If the Reprezentacja Alpejski and the FFR both wins, we'll have a tie for the 1st place and with a 1-1 record against each other, it will come down on points difference. The Alpines won on week 3 23-0 and lost 6-0 on week 8 for a points difference of 23-6 in favor of the Alpines. The Bisons will finish 1st with the FFR being 2nd.

The Alpine Union are 1st in 3 scenarios and 2nd in 1 scenario, which means we're certain they will qualify for the playoffs!

The best scenario for the Alpines is scenario 2.
The best one for the Free Republics is scenario 3.
And for Barunia, it's scenario 1.

World Bowl XXXV (35)- Everything Thread

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