[ACCEPTED] En Bloc

[Jutsa]

Alright, take... I guess three now...

Draft 3.0

Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, it was discovered that people have been training large teams of @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote for specific, pro-@@ANIMAL@@ candidates, leading to what many have called "legal voter fraud".
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at what congress has become? It's full of idiots trying to give @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ more rights than us humans!" declares @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "All because pro-animal yahoos are allowed to vote tens, even hundreds of times over through their 'associates'. Clearly, we need to forbid @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ from voting."
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal foster, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "What we need is to crack down on those mean baddies trying to abuse the system, and install an unbiased program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote freely, of their own mind."
[effect] schools where @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ think alike are shut down on suspicion of sabotage

Option 3: "No matter what, this system is doomed to be exploited," sighs @@RANDOMNAME@@, watching as Mr. Puffles whizzes on your floor. "Honestly, you have more common sense than half the politicians voted in, and that says more about the human voters than the @@ANIMALPLURAL@@. How's about you disqualify anyone who doesn't vote for you or your party? That way sensible people who know how to run a nation stay in control."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated

Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, voting booths have been left in a state so bad that hardworking citizens refuse to step foot in them — and, at times, it is literally impossible to.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at the voting stations?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you a station so soiled that you could've sworn it was a porta potty. "It's truly disgusting. We need to create a program for @@ANIMALPLURAL@@, and people alike, on how to vote with proper etiquette."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are trained to vote for a specific candidate.

Option 2: @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ can't even vote, you idiot!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "We just take a guess at whatever ballots are left readable! It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans."
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 3: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "What we really need are more janitors, create more ballots, and have more voting booths. That'll create new job opportunities, as well as keep the stations clean!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 4: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. It's about time we revoke voting from anyone who causes trouble, like setting fire to the booths, or voting for the wrong person... that sort of thing."
[effect] people who put their appendages on anything other than @@LEADER@@'s name are arrested

Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, your nation has been ravaged by idiotic or fringe politicians, eaten or shredded ballots, and even some unspeakable conditions of the polling booths.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at congress?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "It's a nightmare! @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ have no idea as to how to vote; they just stick a muddy appendage somewhere on the ballot, and we take a guess as to which candidate they 'chose'. It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans!"
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "Yes, our system could use a bit of work; all new things do. What we need is an education program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote properly. In fact, we could probably teach all animals how to vote — even humans!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 3: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. We have to forbid anyone who causes trouble from voting, and set up strict guidelines on how to do so, like not lighting the booth on fire, or voting for the right person... that sort of thing."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated

[The Kind-of-United States]

One, this sounds like a great premise! I personally have not recieved that issue but it seems like this is a good and necessary followup issue.

Two, minor detail--"Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears." The word "Mama" sounds like a woman, but you then switch to he/his pronouns. Again, very minor.

Three,

[Jutsa]

2) that was actually intentional...
I can easily change it if I have to

Glad you liked it.

[Chan Island]

This is much better than your previous draft. Definitely a fan of this version!

[Jutsa]

I've also found that toilets have been appearing in a scarily larger portion of my drafts.

[Hopeington]

Alright, take two...

Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, your nation has been ravished by idiotic or fringe politicians, eaten or shredded ballots, and even some unspeakable conditions of the polling booths.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at congress?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "It's a nightmare! @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ have no idea as to how to vote; they just stick a muddy appendage somewhere on the ballot, and we take a guess as to which candidate they 'chose'. It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans!"
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "Yes, our system could use a bit of work; all new things do. What we need is an education program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote properly. In fact, we could probably teach all animals how to vote — even humans!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 3: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. We have forbid anyone who causes trouble from voting, and set up strict guidelines on how to do so, like not lighting the booth on fire, or voting for the right person... that sort of thing."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated

This is all I could think of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VRuLpnXRK8

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Alright, take two...

Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, your nation has been ravished by idiotic or fringe politicians, eaten or shredded ballots, and even some unspeakable conditions of the polling booths.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at congress?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "It's a nightmare! @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ have no idea as to how to vote; they just stick a muddy appendage somewhere on the ballot, and we take a guess as to which candidate they 'chose'. It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans!"
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "Yes, our system could use a bit of work; all new things do. What we need is an education program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote properly. In fact, we could probably teach all animals how to vote — even humans!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 3: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. We have forbid anyone who causes trouble from voting, and set up strict guidelines on how to do so, like not lighting the booth on fire, or voting for the right person... that sort of thing."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated

Nice issue.

I think you need a "to" between "have" and "forbid" in the last option.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

ravaged =/= ravished.

However, broadly, I'd be more inclined to say that this isn't a good consequence issue.

When you make an issue that follows up on a decision, it shouldn't just question that decision, it should present a story that has happened BECAUSE of that decision.

[Jutsa]

Yeah, I can see that...
though, you wouldn't happen to know a better followup to "animals vote for national rulers", off hand?

Fixing ravished anyway.
Also added "to"; forgot to mention that last week >.>

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Maybe focus on one consequence you mentioned - the soiled voting booths. Have complaints be coming in about the condition that animal voters are leaving voting booths in, not to mention the number of spoiled ballot papers. Then have a load of solutions for that specific problem.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Geez, there should be a law against pulling dolphins out of the sea and dragging them to the polls to make them vote

Well, at least they are aquatic mammals, so they can breathe out of water for some time. But what if my @@ANIMAL@@ is a fish? Will you bring it in in an aquarium?

And what if it is a gigantic animal, like a blue whale?

That being said, I agree that NS issues about @@ANIMAL@@s hardly take such things into account, leading to many ridiculous consequences in my case. (I remember a police officer suggesting that they should be riding dolphins, since cars were banned. )

[Chan Island]

Geez, there should be a law against pulling dolphins out of the sea and dragging them to the polls to make them vote

Well, at least they are aquatic mammals, so they can breathe out of water for some time. But what if my @@ANIMAL@@ is a fish? Will you bring it in in an aquarium?

And what if it is a gigantic animal, like a blue whale?

That being said, I agree that NS issues about @@ANIMAL@@s hardly take such things into account, leading to many ridiculous consequences in my case. (I remember a police officer suggesting that they should be riding dolphins, since cars were banned. )

Obviously after you give the dolphins robot legs, silly

[Trotterdam]

Well, at least they are aquatic mammals, so they can breathe out of water for some time. But what if my @@ANIMAL@@ is a fish? Will you bring it in in an aquarium?

You could try building polling booths underwater, but what would you make the paper and ink out of? I doubt normal voting forms are waterproof.

That being said, I agree that NS issues about @@ANIMAL@@s hardly take such things into account, leading to many ridiculous consequences in my case. (I remember a police officer suggesting that they should be riding dolphins, since cars were banned. )

That would be a legitimate strategy in Venice!

[Jutsa]

Alrighty, updated it!

Actually, I updated it yesterday, and then thought "Y'know, there's a far more interesting angle that this could take",
so I changed it from being about soiled booths to being about people using @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to get extra votes.

Thoughts on the current version?

[Shwe Tu Colony]

Random title suggestion: maybe "My Vote is an Animal" as a reference to the Of Monsters & Men album My Head is an Animal.

[Jutsa]

Tbh that would be nice, but that would be better for an issue about animals going into politics — which I believe we already have, sadly.

[Australian rePublic]

Wouldn't it by ironic if anti-@@ANIMAL@@ activists also trained the animals?

[Jutsa]

That actually would be pretty funny, but I'm not really sure it'd work with this narrative, tbh.

A bump, regardless, though. Thanks for your input, and if you think you might have a way of putting it in without disturbing its flow to much, feel free to suggest something.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Alrighty, updated it!

Actually, I updated it yesterday, and then thought "Y'know, there's a far more interesting angle that this could take",
so I changed it from being about soiled booths to being about people using @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to get extra votes.

Thoughts on the current version?

I love the new premise. Good issue.

[Jutsa]

I'll leave this one up for another week unless anyone thinks this should be kept up longer or submitted earlier,
but for now: Weekly bump!

Thank you, CWA. I much prefer this premise, myself.

[Jutsa]

Submitted! Just in time for me to upload yet another draft about animals.

Thank you all.