Better Business Bureau [Feedback & Advice]

[Tippercommon]

It's not complete, but I need some suggestions :- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=443826

Looks like a cool idea! There is not much in terms of products to judge here yet, but I'm sure you'll do great with the proper amount of research on it.

Here are some of my suggestions from a design/layout standpoint.

1. With the picture of the lunar eclipse/your storefront title, make them both center aligned and put the picture of the moon one line above.
2. Maybe go for a typographic logo incorporating the OSXO (nothing fancy, just download a good font like Helvetica or Futura
3. On your navigation bar, go with one color for all the text (I'd recommend the green; the yellow is hard to read). Maybe separate them with hyphens (-) or a vertical bar (|). And change the 2nd, 3rd and 4th page titles to whatever is in that link (e.g. "Current Projects" instead of "2nd page")
4. Maybe copy the nav bar and put it on the top of each post so customers may easily navigate around. Maybe grey out the title of the page you're on like I do on my storefront.
5. You could easily condense some of the posts just so your storefront is more streamlined. I'd recommend putting the "Our Main Mission," "Partners," and "Application" posts in your OP and reserving subsequent posts for your products and other services.
6. It's not actually a part of your storefront, but the highlighted text in your signature kind of makes everything look very busy. I'd recommending going a little more minimalist on it.
7. Maybe replace the "yellow" highlight you have on your section headers with the "#FFBF00" color you use on your main title. Or just drop. Alternatively you could do something like this:

Spacecraft and Aircraft

---

Hope this helped!

[Yohannes]

I started my storefront, ACC Defence Division, as little more than a bored hobby to tack on to my Nationstates roleplay. I was using realworld designs or variants thereof, with very little write up or statistical information. Over the years as my activity has come and gone, I've updated it with original creations, images and gradually increased the quality of my writeups, starting with small arms up to more recently ground vehicles. I'm pretty pleased with how my small arms section is looking for detail, but am looking to expand on my ground vehicles section.

Any feedback on design, layout, general quality would be greatly appreciated. I definitely want to look into some modular "design an IFV" ideas that allows customers to customize their loadout for a vehicle with a variety of modifications. Any advice on how I could go about this would be great. Is there anything I could add to my storefront, anything that needs fixing? Also, question: is having a minimal catalogue that simply lists items, with hyperlinked pages that depict individual writeups etc better than giving some description listed for each product on the storefront itself? Should I create a separate thread for the catalogue all together?

Again, any feedback, however little or large, would be brill. Cheers. Storefront in question: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=362737

Hi oh hi Astronea!

As a regular customer of your storefront and regional neighbour, I don't think I'll be able to objectively evaluate your storefront (I have tried, btw). Also, in comparison to the other GE&T regulars with more arms designing experience (e.g. Lamoni or Crookfur), I don't think I'll have what it takes to be able to give the right opinions/points with regard to your storefront (it has many things that I am not confident to comment on). So I would wait and see whether Lamoni and/or Crookfur has seen your storefront and they would hopefully be commenting here soon

It's not complete, but I need some suggestions :- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=443826

Hi azadeshia,

This is just what I think so feel free to ignore it (if you disagree). It needs more writeup that actually explain important things about the storefront (and the designs, once you've released them). Try to limit the number of pictures until you can write more things about the designs (in your storefront) and the storefront itself

That's all I can say for now. Looking forward to seeing the expansion of Omega Space Exploration

[Maltropia]

I started my storefront, ACC Defence Division, as little more than a bored hobby to tack on to my Nationstates roleplay. I was using realworld designs or variants thereof, with very little write up or statistical information. Over the years as my activity has come and gone, I've updated it with original creations, images and gradually increased the quality of my writeups, starting with small arms up to more recently ground vehicles. I'm pretty pleased with how my small arms section is looking for detail, but am looking to expand on my ground vehicles section.

Any feedback on design, layout, general quality would be greatly appreciated. I definitely want to look into some modular "design an IFV" ideas that allows customers to customize their loadout for a vehicle with a variety of modifications. Any advice on how I could go about this would be great. Is there anything I could add to my storefront, anything that needs fixing? Also, question: is having a minimal catalogue that simply lists items, with hyperlinked pages that depict individual writeups etc better than giving some description listed for each product on the storefront itself? Should I create a separate thread for the catalogue all together?

Again, any feedback, however little or large, would be brill. Cheers. Storefront in question: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=362737

I'm going to focus on the technical aspects and presentation of your storefront for the time being, not being someone qualified to proclaim on military stuff. First impression: everything is too big. The logo doesn't fit on my screen (the up-bar on the N is cut off); consider scaling it down to eight- or nine-hundred pixels in width. The image for the International Advertisement Zone is also a whole lot of white space; I realise that it's that thread's image and not your own, but it takes up a lot of space and the white doesn't work pleasantly on the thread background. You (or they) might want to consider cleaning it up - centring it better, making the text less blurry, replacing the white with transparency.

The underlining on "Rules and Restrictions" includes the following space by mistake.

It might just be on my screen, but the table of contents wraps onto a new line (just "Investment Opportunities" and not the | before). Consider splitting it manually onto two lines; "Small Arms" would be a good place to start the second line, if you go that way.

Wording qualms: unless it's required by contract, consider shortening the overwhelming "All purchases processed through Sacrosanct are eligible for 5% off their order." The same effect can be gained from "Purchases processed through Sacrosanct are eligible for 5%," or even "for a 5% discount."

The caps lock "THIS BUSINESS HAS AN AD IN" is more appropriate to a third-party data collection website talking about your storefront. Consider a more tasteful "As seen in." Even better, consider sticking that into a re-worked version of the logo. I'll even hack one together to demonstrate:

It's possibly not 100% faithful to the original, and I don't know what font he used, but the lines are crisper and it doesn't feel like you're using all your space with just white. In fact, it seems to free up enough space that you can do something like this, and it still won't feel excessive:

In contrast to all this space-wrangling, your text is a bit overwhelmed by the hugeness of the images. Consider increasing the font size, for pretty much everything, to 105% or 110%. Whichever you prefer, if either.

Pedantry time! "comprised of" is incorrect. Consider replacing it with "comprising". You say there are "three divisions altogether;" I believe this should be more correctly "three divisions all together:". Note the use of a colon instead of a semicolon. You refer to the CEO's foreword as a foreward. This is not a word. "in terms of exports, and" should be "in terms of exports and," but the sentence as a whole would be better as "The Defence Division is the most productive division in terms of exports and is unparalleled in terms of manufacturing." Where you have "streamlines delivery, however this", I would change it to "streamlines delivery; however, this". Where you have "in-character, if possible formatted" in your Rules and Restrictions, consider "in-character and, if possible, formatted".

I won't go through the whole thing, because copy-editing (which you didn't ask for anyway) isn't something that should be done as a list of changes. I do approve of the use of Irish, though. Lean ar aghaidh!

[Azadeshia]

It's not complete, but I need some suggestions :- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=443826

Looks like a cool idea! There is not much in terms of products to judge here yet, but I'm sure you'll do great with the proper amount of research on it.

Here are some of my suggestions from a design/layout standpoint.

1. With the picture of the lunar eclipse/your storefront title, make them both center aligned and put the picture of the moon one line above.
2. Maybe go for a typographic logo incorporating the OSXO (nothing fancy, just download a good font like Helvetica or Futura
3. On your navigation bar, go with one color for all the text (I'd recommend the green; the yellow is hard to read). Maybe separate them with hyphens (-) or a vertical bar (|). And change the 2nd, 3rd and 4th page titles to whatever is in that link (e.g. "Current Projects" instead of "2nd page")
4. Maybe copy the nav bar and put it on the top of each post so customers may easily navigate around. Maybe grey out the title of the page you're on like I do on my storefront.
5. You could easily condense some of the posts just so your storefront is more streamlined. I'd recommend putting the "Our Main Mission," "Partners," and "Application" posts in your OP and reserving subsequent posts for your products and other services.
6. It's not actually a part of your storefront, but the highlighted text in your signature kind of makes everything look very busy. I'd recommending going a little more minimalist on it.
7. Maybe replace the "yellow" highlight you have on your section headers with the "#FFBF00" color you use on your main title. Or just drop. Alternatively you could do something like this:

Spacecraft and Aircraft

---

Hope this helped!

Thank You for your suggestions!I will apply it to my storefront as soon as possible.

[Azadeshia]

I started my storefront, ACC Defence Division, as little more than a bored hobby to tack on to my Nationstates roleplay. I was using realworld designs or variants thereof, with very little write up or statistical information. Over the years as my activity has come and gone, I've updated it with original creations, images and gradually increased the quality of my writeups, starting with small arms up to more recently ground vehicles. I'm pretty pleased with how my small arms section is looking for detail, but am looking to expand on my ground vehicles section.

Any feedback on design, layout, general quality would be greatly appreciated. I definitely want to look into some modular "design an IFV" ideas that allows customers to customize their loadout for a vehicle with a variety of modifications. Any advice on how I could go about this would be great. Is there anything I could add to my storefront, anything that needs fixing? Also, question: is having a minimal catalogue that simply lists items, with hyperlinked pages that depict individual writeups etc better than giving some description listed for each product on the storefront itself? Should I create a separate thread for the catalogue all together?

Again, any feedback, however little or large, would be brill. Cheers. Storefront in question: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=362737

Hi oh hi Astronea!

As a regular customer of your storefront and regional neighbour, I don't think I'll be able to objectively evaluate your storefront (I have tried, btw). Also, in comparison to the other GE&T regulars with more arms designing experience (e.g. Lamoni or Crookfur), I don't think I'll have what it takes to be able to give the right opinions/points with regard to your storefront (it has many things that I am not confident to comment on). So I would wait and see whether Lamoni and/or Crookfur has seen your storefront and they would hopefully be commenting here soon

It's not complete, but I need some suggestions :- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=443826

Hi azadeshia,

This is just what I think so feel free to ignore it (if you disagree). It needs more writeup that actually explain important things about the storefront (and the designs, once you've released them). Try to limit the number of pictures until you can write more things about the designs (in your storefront) and the storefront itself

That's all I can say for now. Looking forward to seeing the expansion of Omega Space Exploration

Thank you for your suggestion Yohannes!It's just a bit hard trying to tell about a company just 2 years old.I will try my best.

[Azadeshia]

I have opened Omega only for investors now.I am still working on the info and formatting.
Link:- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=443826

[Kyrusia]

Congratulations to Neu Engollon! The Mentor Program's newest addition to the team!

[Shwe Tu Colony]

Congratulations to Neu Engollon! The Mentor Program's newest addition to the team!

Congarats, mate, eh?

[Romelliano]

How could I improve this chemical industry storefront?
Link:https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=431617&p=33109633#p33109633

[Crookfur]

How could I improve this chemical industry storefront?
Link:https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=431617&p=33109633#p33109633

You could start by giving details that have already been asked for in your thread ie precisely how much of each chemical the prices refer to be it kg for solid/powders and litres for liquids.

I have no idea what the funny loopy l symbol you mentioned means, it's not something I have come across in the list of stuff I get sent every month in work.

It might also help to price things in nationstates dollar (NSD) which is generally just the current used price for things.

Finally whilst a simple price list is generally fine in RL where the sort of people reading the list will know what they are looking for you aren't going to find such people making up the majority of the potential buyers on ns so you will probably need some blurb about each product and its uses.

Above all you need to give potential customers a reason to want to interact with you so the key question is: why buy from you rather than the domestic industry they likely assume they have?

[Neu Engollon]

Congratulations to Neu Engollon! The Mentor Program's newest addition to the team!

Congarats, mate, eh?

Thanks!

[Azadeshia]

How could I improve this chemical industry storefront?
Link:https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=431617&p=33109633#p33109633

Probably add some images

[Shwe Tu Colony]

How could I improve this chemical industry storefront?
Link:https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=431617&p=33109633#p33109633

I'd suggest some history, like who founded it, where it was founded, & major events in the company's past. As for your products, I would add a general gist of what each one does, seeing as a customer may not be entirely informed on what each chemical does or what chemicals they might need for whatever they're doing. Additionally, the company should have something distinguishing it from others: why should a customer buy from your company, rather than any other? The statements in the benefits section can be said by any company since they seem pretty procedural & average — of course someone would say they're high quality, of course someone would provide MSDS sheets for them, & it's not exactly distinguishing to have food-grade & laboratory-grade chemicals. Lastly, fancy titles are always nice, & this is the program I've used for such things. It works quite well.

Apologies if I am coming across as condescending, & I would advise to wait for the suggestions of others.

[Tippercommon]

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=443568

Anyone have any opinions on my new product layout?

[Lamoni]

It looks good, Tippercommon. I like how you did that.

[Tippercommon]

It looks good, Tippercommon. I like how you did that.

Thankies!

[Common Territories]

https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=443568

Anyone have any opinions on my new product layout?

I think it looks too nice. Stop it. I won't be able to feed my NS kids at this rate.

Seriously though, all very nice looking! We to NS btw

Congratulations to Neu Engollon! The Mentor Program's newest addition to the team!

Congrats!

[Tippercommon]

I think it looks too nice. Stop it. I won't be able to feed my NS kids at this rate.

Seriously though, all very nice looking! We to NS btw

Thank you! And I've been around, just in closed-world regions

[Fyodorians]

Hi everyone, I'm currently considering a storefront for a company that makes string instruments, what are your thoughts? Is there demand for such a storefront?

[Shwe Tu Colony]

Hi everyone, I'm currently considering a storefront for a company that makes string instruments, what are your thoughts? Is there demand for such a storefront?

I haven't seen it done before, so I encourage you to do that.

[Azadeshia]

Would like some suggestions for this new storfront for my old company:- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=444230

[Yohannes]

Would like some suggestions for this new storfront for my old company:- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=444230

I am not going to nitpick because I actually believe it's good! Looking forward to see it being expanded (in writing)

Now will be the hardest part... there is very little traffic to Global Economics and Trade sub-forum. The only storefront to have outsiders (i.e. not GE&T regulars, or alternate accounts) posting is Pharthan's Halcyon Arms storefront; and that is only because (nice) players advertise for his storefront (outside this sub-forum). I've been posting with my alternate accounts to boost traffic to arms manufacturing (and some civilian) storefronts (I've seen a couple of players doing that too)... but even that's not enough to bring activity (and to be honest that's not genuine activity). Unfortunately... there's nothing that I can do about that (lack of sub-forum activity; this has been happening for years)... sorry

It'll be harder for civilian storefronts such as your storefront. Best of luck with the storefront and always telegram close NationStates friends to tell them to check your storefront out

P.S. you can always try to post news materials to showcase what your fictional company does in your nation or somewhere outside your nation. Example: viewtopic.php?p=33892221#p33892221

[Azadeshia]

Would like some suggestions for this new storfront for my old company:- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=444230

I am not going to nitpick because I actually believe it's good! Looking forward to see it being expanded (in writing)

Now will be the hardest part... there is very little traffic to Global Economics and Trade sub-forum. The only storefront to have outsiders (i.e. not GE&T regulars, or alternate accounts) posting is Pharthan's Halcyon Arms storefront; and that is only because (nice) players advertise for his storefront (outside this sub-forum). I've been posting with my alternate accounts to boost traffic to arms manufacturing (and some civilian) storefronts (I've seen a couple of players doing that too)... but even that's not enough to bring activity (and to be honest that's not genuine activity). Unfortunately... there's nothing that I can do about that (lack of sub-forum activity; this has been happening for years)... sorry

It'll be harder for civilian storefronts such as your storefront. Best of luck with the storefront and always telegram close NationStates friends to tell them to check your storefront out

P.S. you can always try to post news materials to showcase what your fictional company does in your nation or somewhere outside your nation. Example: viewtopic.php?p=33892221#p33892221

Writing about a company is a bit hard.But I am writing it on a paper as a draft.After correcting by grammar mistakes I will post it on the storefront. (I am not a big fan of Military stuff, but I like reading about it.)

[Neu Engollon]

Would like some suggestions for this new storfront for my old company:- viewtopic.php?f=6&t=444230

I am not going to nitpick because I actually believe it's good! Looking forward to see it being expanded (in writing)

Now will be the hardest part... there is very little traffic to Global Economics and Trade sub-forum. The only storefront to have outsiders (i.e. not GE&T regulars, or alternate accounts) posting is Pharthan's Halcyon Arms storefront; and that is only because (nice) players advertise for his storefront (outside this sub-forum). I've been posting with my alternate accounts to boost traffic to arms manufacturing (and some civilian) storefronts (I've seen a couple of players doing that too)... but even that's not enough to bring activity (and to be honest that's not genuine activity). Unfortunately... there's nothing that I can do about that (lack of sub-forum activity; this has been happening for years)... sorry

It'll be harder for civilian storefronts such as your storefront. Best of luck with the storefront and always telegram close NationStates friends to tell them to check your storefront out

P.S. you can always try to post news materials to showcase what your fictional company does in your nation or somewhere outside your nation. Example: viewtopic.php?p=33892221#p33892221

Thanks for the doom and gloom. Do you have anything to back up what you are saying, Yo? How are you measuring this big drop off in traffic phenomenon? What is the specific point where things began to head in this direction? I'm really curious as to how you are qualifying this and backing up your statement. Personally, I don't think things are so bad. I have seen quite an uptick in traffic to GE&T as well as lots of new storefronts, not all of them military oriented. I get pretty steady traffic to my storefronts and I will readily admit I don't have the flashiest graphics, the coolest weapons (only one military oriented storefront) or regularly bump or respond to storefront requests the way I used to. I think a lot of this is very subjective in your head, tbh, and not at all what is actually being experienced on the sub-forum. At least you brought it out with a couple helpful tips in the end there, Yo.

[Yohannes]

Thanks for the doom and gloom. Do you have anything to back up what you are saying, Yo? How are you measuring this big drop off in traffic phenomenon? What is the specific point where things began to head in this direction? I'm really curious as to how you are qualifying this and backing up your statement. Personally, I don't think things are so bad. I have seen quite an uptick in traffic to GE&T as well as lots of new storefronts, not all of them military oriented. I get pretty steady traffic to my storefronts and I will readily admit I don't have the flashiest graphics, the coolest weapons (only one military oriented storefront) or regularly bump or respond to storefront requests the way I used to. I think a lot of this is very subjective in your head, tbh, and not at all what is actually being experienced on the sub-forum. At least you brought it out with a couple helpful tips in the end there, Yo.

Oh, not doom and gloom. Just accepting reality and trying my best to contribute to fixing the problem (and not getting anything back in return; not that it matters anyway)

Which one (of your storefront)? I will have a look at it now.

Edit: and by the way, if you are wondering. I was the one who posted repeatedly in Tippercommon's storefront to try to bump his storefront (though not because I wanted to help; but because I absolutely love it).

I was also the one who bumped your storefront for you. Machina Haruspex's too. And many, many other storefronts.

I have also been the person who have posted here multiple times at (trying to) assist other players objectively.

And what have you done so far?

Edit2: I also bumped Common Territories' storefront (edit3: although I know he dislike me terribly). Argentinstan, Sacrosanct, the list continues (if required for interrogation, I can list them all here)

Of course, mostly using my alternate accounts to contribute to the enjoyable story-teling/in character atmosphere

I have also got myself out there to fight for what I believe will help the community; risking everything for nothing. Edit4: I did not ask for anything in return. I am happy seeing this thread is here now. There was a bit of overstepping and I said something unwise, but Reploid Productions taught me better (and I learnt along the way). I have done many things since then (even though it was not that long/only weeks), and I can list them here for you, if required(?)

Again, what have you done, if it would be okay for me to ask?

Final edit: That (post I quoted there) was your (first) contribution post in this thread as a Mentor, I believe. And did you actually assist anyone with that post?

Final, final (actually!) edit: I look forward to reading your reply, and I will list every single thing that I have done recently for you, and those out there, who talk bad things behind my back, without understanding things or thinking that, perhaps, I do things for a reason.

In saying that, I am very dissapointed that we are actually talking about this in this thread. I am very surprised this kind of talk didn't come from me (I know my weakness); but it instead was started by you (by posting that very partisan/inflammatory post). I am very dissapointed with you Neu Engollon (I am sorry)