[ACCEPTED] A Political Cover-Up

[Jutsa]

So it's 1:30 AM while I'm doing this and this was legitimately next in my list.

I hope you enjoy. Thank Fauxia and possibly someone else for this idea. :3
Fourth effect line could probably use a bit of work though.

Title: Shield More than your Eyes?
The Issue: A complication arose yesterday when three ambassadors from the conservative nation of Althaniq had a meeting in @@NAME@@, only to find themselves surrounded by a bunch of naked diplomats.
Validity: Must have compulsory nudism OR Must have very high, non-compulsory nudism

Option 1: "You must do something about this sheer atrocity!" exclaims Ambassador Myron Jakeem, trying his best not to look at you. "Your customs of nudism may be fine for you, but it is completely unacceptable in our culture. Have you seen some of the thoughts people have gotten from us? I beg of you to make your people wear proper clothing during international meetings — for the sake of human decency."
[effect] ambassadors are finding it hard to adjust between constantly and never wearing shoes

Validity: Nudity is compulsory
Option 2: "Look, I'm not saying that everyone is a pretty sight," begins @@RANDOMNAME@@, a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomat, currently trying nothing to shield @@HIM@@self, "but what about our culture? It's unnatural to be clothed from the forces of nature — not to mention we haven't got a sock in all of @@NAME@@. We should loosen up these foreigners by making them disrobe around us, so they can see what an amazing culture we really have!"
[effect] snickers from watching foreign diplomats disrobe tend to make peace talks counterproductive

Validity: Nudity is not compulsory
Option 3: "Look, I'm not saying that everyone is a pretty sight," begins @@RANDOMNAME@@, a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomat, currently trying nothing to shield @@HIM@@self, "but what about our culture? It's unnatural to be clothed from the forces of nature. If anything, they should take part in our culture. Maybe you can encourage them to loosen up a bit by making them disrobe around us? They'll soon see what an amazing culture we really have!"
[effect] snickers from watching foreign diplomats disrobe tend to make peace talks counterproductive

Validity: Nudity is compulsory
Option 4: "Or, you know, you could also just legalize clothing again," suggests @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, hiding behind the drapes. "It's not just diplomats who are chafing under these restrictions! I honestly don't know where to look when I'm talking to my grandparents, and I really miss being able to safely cook meals! Don't even get me started on trying to go for a morning run without a sports bra. You need to put an end to this forced nudism!"
[effect] people are having trouble walking with gloves on
[flag change] Nudism is no longer compulsory

Validity: Nudity is not compulsory
Option 5: "Or, you know, you could also just put some clothes on everyone," suggests @@RANDOMENAME@@, hiding behind the drapes. "It's not just diplomats who are chafing under the lack of restrictions! I honestly don't know where to look when I'm talking to my grandparents, how to not interact with them awkwardly, and don't even get me started on trying to go for a morning run with them. You absolutely must put a ban on nudity!"
[effect] millions are qualified for arrest due to there not being enough pants
[flag change] Nudism is banned

Option 6: "Bah!" scours your uncle, who is met with groans when he walks into the room. "I'm sick of hearing 'could you turn around' and 'put that away' from these not-so-good-looking prudes. Make every international meeting take place in some other fancy-pants nation. We don't want any outsiders butting in and raining on our parade anyhow."
[effect] foreign ambassadors never get to see what @@NAME@@ has to offer

Title: Beware the Full Moon in @@NAME@@
The Issue: A complication arose yesterday when three ambassadors from the conservative nation of Althaniq had a meeting in @@NAME@@, only to find themselves surrounded by a bunch of naked diplomats.
Validity: Nation has compulsory nudism

Option 1: "You must do something about this atrocity!" exclaims Ambassador (something Althaniqy), trying his best not to look at you. "Your customs of nudism may be fine for you, but it is completely unacceptable in our culture. I beg of you to make your people wear proper clothing during international meetings — for the sake of human decency."
[effect] there is a striking correlation between new and self-conscious diplomats

Option 2: "Look, I'm not saying that everyone is a pretty sight," begins @@RANDOMNAME@@, a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomat, currently trying nothing to shield @@HIM@@self. "But what about our culture? It's unnatural to be clothed from the forces of nature. We should instead make these foreigners disrobe around us, so they can see what an amazing culture we really have!"
[effect] snickers from watching foreign diplomats disrobe tend to make peace talks counterproductive

Option 3: "Or, you know, you could also just legalize clothing again," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, hiding behind the drapes. "Do you know how awkward it is to do anything when everyone is forced to be naked? This problem extends to all of us — not just diplomats. You need to replace the ban on clothes with a ban on nudity!"
[effect] people are having trouble walking with pants on

Option 4: "Bah!" scours your uncle, who is met with groans when he walks into the room. "Make every international meeting that doesn't involve you take place in some other nation. We don't want any outsiders snubbing our laws anyway."
[effect] cross-borders meetings must take place outside the borders

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Aussie's "Must Be a Full Moon" already uses this title pun, so I'd suggest a new title.

Fun issue though.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

If you're going to do an issue which is centred around the inconveniences of compulsory nudism, you could probably throw in some more eye-watering jokes.

For example option 3...

Option 3: "Or, you know, you could also just legalize clothing again," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, hiding behind the drapes. "Do you know how awkward it is to do anything when everyone is forced to be naked? This problem extends to all of us — not just diplomats. You need to replace the ban on clothes with a ban on nudity!"
[effect] people are having trouble walking with pants on

...has seriously prosaic arguments for reversal, when there's so much potential. It could read something like:

Option 3: "Or, you know, you could also just legalize clothing again," suggests @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, hiding behind the drapes. "I honestly don't know where to look when I'm talking to my grandparents, and I really miss being able to safely fry bacon! Don't even get me started on trying to go for a morning run without a sports bra. It's not just diplomats who are chafing under these restrictions! You need to replace the ban on clothes with a ban on nudity!"

And then you've got that marvellous set up of a ban of nudity, wasted on an effect line that doesn't even reference it. So many possibilities!

[effect]making babies involves a complex series of velcro flaps
[effect]crusted underwear is seen as a sign of strong morality

Basically, take this excellent issue premise, and zing it up with more jokes and funniness.

[Jutsa]

Alright, I'll try, but remember I'm not that good at naughty jokes.

Edit: Glad you like the premise though. I shall also change the title when I come up with something.

[Trotterdam]

And here I'm just sulking that as a nation where almost everybody is naked most of the time but it's not compulsory, this is one more issue I'll never get.

"You need to replace the ban on clothes with a ban on nudity!"

I'm leery of options that go directly from banning X to banning not-X, without an intermediate step. Since there's a previous issue for repealing compulsory nudity in a more moderate manner, it's not a crippling flaw, but I still advise against it.

Alright, I'll try, but remember I'm not that good at naughty jokes.

Eh, Candlewhisper Archive's examples look pretty tasteful as "naughty jokes" go. A bit of a surprise, since he's often fond of racier fare.

[Jutsa]

I love your suggestions CWA, although I had to change the bacon thing because not all nations allow meat
and also not use the awesome velcro thing because not all nations legalize sex either.

I could make alternative options for that, but I'm already doing so to accommodate nations where nudity is a non-compulsory norm,
which I frankly think should be criteria enough for this issue.

Also tried to make the effect lines and some of the text funnier, though idk what you guys think of them.
If you've got any suggestions, feel free to throw them my way.

Edit: Oh yeah, also changed the title. Not as good as the old one but hopefully it's still nice.
Again, open to any suggestions if you don't like it.

Final edit: Somehow I avoided uploading a different draft because it had 6 options only to end up with another draft with 6 options.

[Baggieland]

exclaims Ambassador (something Althaniqy)

You could use Sheikh something or another.

You could go for a funny sounding Arabic name like Mustafa Hareem, but there are quite a few Arabian themed nations playing this game.

Or you could just go for a any funny sounding name like Dick Longfellow.

Great issue Jutsa!!

[Jutsa]

Many thanks, Baggieland!

Dick Longfellow... that's a name I'll let someone else use. *looks at CWA and Aussie*

Looking at Arabic baby names... trying to find one that'll really work here.

Edit: apparently you can be named after an earthen water jug, "round", and... fragrant ointment?

[Jutsa]

Thinking "Jakeem" which means "raised up", and "Ibrahim" for "father's exalted". Thoughts? I haven't had so much luck with last-names

(For the sake of interest, Myron is fragrant ointment)

[Australian rePublic]

So do ambassadors from nations with compulsory clothing have to abide by compolsory nudity? Did the ambassadors from Althaniq come nude?

[Jutsa]

Not yet, ideally. My original draft of this made them go nude, but I figured "that'd be a better option".

[Jutsa]

Yay bump!

[Fauxia]

Wait what did I have to do with this idea?

[Jutsa]

Ahah, you and Aussie co-authored this.

boop

Edit: Almost forgot! His name's now Jakeem Myron.

[Jutsa]

Eh, I think this'll be my final bump. I'll submit it in a few days unless a major change occurs or someone credible™ tells me not to. :3

Edit: Changed the guy's name to Myron Jakeem. Just flows a little bit better. edit2: imo*

[Jutsa]

And it has been submitted! Thanks, you guys.