The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Living Corporations]

Trevanyika nods. "Good. I'll drink to your freedom then. And, if you ever wish to reconsider alcohol, there will be a drink waiting for you on the Wallenburgian tab."

"Hey! You aren't even an employee!" shouts Representative Ogenbond from several stools away.

"My tab," Trevanyika corrects herself. "So, what is a living embodiment of a corporation doing in the World Assembly?"

"Trying to stay alive, to be honest," said LaPointe. "Normally, if a corporation goes under, the body dies. Or rather, the body disintegrates into motes of light and vanishes. But this is a bizarre pocket dimension or somesuch- the connection between my body and the rest of me is greatly diminished. And, well. All four of us are having some problem or other that has a very high chance of corporate death. Roth Co. has been in a death spiral for years now and is in the position of having to close his remaining stores. HealthMart was just bought by a rival corporation with a tendency to do very unpleasant things to his victims..."

The girl in 90s fashion surges forward and interrupts, "And LaPointe here is in a lot of legal trouble!"

LaPointe gives the interloper a dark look. "WebVid. How kind of you to drop in unwanted and uninvited."

[Herby]

Herby responds to Q-Bert’s shenanigans with only a computerized beep. Much like the way a computer beeps when turned on. Nothing happens for five minutes. Then, another beep. Then nothing for five minutes. Then another beep. Ad infinitum. Uh oh. This can’t be good.

After a few iterations, Drane finally notices the beeping. He briefly looks in the direction of the now inanimate car, and shakes his head. He salts his hand, licks it, downs the second tequila shot, and sucks on the lime. "Mmm. Much better."

Beep.

[Wallenburg]

Trevanyika nods. "Good. I'll drink to your freedom then. And, if you ever wish to reconsider alcohol, there will be a drink waiting for you on the Wallenburgian tab."

"Hey! You aren't even an employee!" shouts Representative Ogenbond from several stools away.

"My tab," Trevanyika corrects herself. "So, what is a living embodiment of a corporation doing in the World Assembly?"

"Trying to stay alive, to be honest," said LaPointe. "Normally, if a corporation goes under, the body dies. Or rather, the body disintegrates into motes of light and vanishes. But this is a bizarre pocket dimension or somesuch- the connection between my body and the rest of me is greatly diminished. And, well. All four of us are having some problem or other that has a very high chance of corporate death. Roth Co. has been in a death spiral for years now and is in the position of having to close his remaining stores. HealthMart was just bought by a rival corporation with a tendency to do very unpleasant things to his victims..."

The girl in 90s fashion surges forward and interrupts, "And LaPointe here is in a lot of legal trouble!"

LaPointe gives the interloper a dark look. "WebVid. How kind of you to drop in unwanted and uninvited."

Trevanyika flashes her eyebrow. "Yikes. Well, I suppose when you have a choice to either risk death or stow away to this festering snakepit, it can look appealing to go for the second option."

Her attention switching to the girl, Trevanyika frowns. "Wow, that's...that's an outfit, I suppose. Who is this, Ms. LaPointe? One of your compatriots?"

[Living Corporations]

Trevanyika flashes her eyebrow. "Yikes. Well, I suppose when you have a choice to either risk death or stow away to this festering snakepit, it can look appealing to go for the second option."

Her attention switching to the girl, Trevanyika frowns. "Wow, that's...that's an outfit, I suppose. Who is this, Ms. LaPointe? One of your compatriots?"

"Sadly, y-"

"I sure am!" interrupts the girl. She then reaches out for Trevanyika's hand. "WebVid, nice to meetcha! I'm a dot-com."

"Dot-gone," corrects LaPointe. "You survived the bubble bursting by sheer dumb luck."

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Leo glances over toward where Ms. Trevanyika is speaking with the two... entities.

"Perhaps there's more to it than I imagined. Hmm. Barkeep, a plate of garlic bread, heavy on the garlic, and a sheaf of cease-and-desist orders. And a spray-bottle of holy water if you've got it."

He turns back to Drane.

"Yon automobile appears to be bleeping at you, sir. Perhaps we should fetch some gasoline? Or do you think it's a 'low battery' warning? Maybe there's a plug somewhere..." He trails off as he attempts to eavesdrop on the others' conversation.

[Whovian Tardisia]

Beep.

As his colleagues sat chatting, Jack began to observe the certain quirks of the bar. The unusual artifact near the center of the room, the great variance in the patron's biology, the curious scents that wafted from behind the bar, the car parked in the- the car, parked in...
"Sorry to interrupt, Ambassador, but is that vehicle meant to be there?" Jack interjected, cutting off something about a barrier.
"Vehicle?" Pink replied. "Ah, Herby. Ambassador Number Fifty Three, to give her proper title. She frequents this establishment regularly." He sipped his coffee and then added. "Although, she's usually much more talkative. Excuse me for a moment."
Captain Wilson and her first mate shared a confused glance as Ambassador Pink approached the automobile.
"Herby, it's been a while. You seem awfully quiet. Is something bothering you?'

[Wallenburg]

"Sadly, y-"

"I sure am!" interrupts the girl. She then reaches out for Trevanyika's hand. "WebVid, nice to meetcha! I'm a dot-com."

Somewhat bewildered, Trevanyika grasps the girl's hand and shakes it firmly, anchoring her elbow in the air. "Ms. Helen Trevanyika. Hey Neville, you allow young people in the bar now? I'm not complaining, I've just never noticed it before."

"Herby, it's been a while. You seem awfully quiet. Is something bothering you?'

"When has Herby ever been bothered by anything other than joyriders?" asks Ogenbond. "The automobile looks in good condition, and if it needs gasoline Herby can buy some from the bar."

[Living Corporations]

Somewhat bewildered, Trevanyika grasps the girl's hand and shakes it firmly, anchoring her elbow in the air. "Ms. Helen Trevanyika. Hey Neville, you allow young people in the bar now? I'm not complaining, I've just never noticed it before."

“Don’t be fooled by my form,” said WebVid. “I was founded in ‘97, and that makes me 21 years old as of last week. It’s a pretty common mistake for humans to make, though, so don’t feel too bad about. Besides, I can’t even process alcohol.”

[New Vragoltinus]

Vernard looks around the bar so nobody is watching, cautiously extending the vacuum part of his mask forward again before turnning it on to suck up any crumbs on the bar table. The whole time looking back and forth so to make sure nobody notices the blatantly unhygienic behaviour.

[Wallenburg]

Somewhat bewildered, Trevanyika grasps the girl's hand and shakes it firmly, anchoring her elbow in the air. "Ms. Helen Trevanyika. Hey Neville, you allow young people in the bar now? I'm not complaining, I've just never noticed it before."

“Don’t be fooled by my form,” said WebVid. “I was founded in ‘97, and that makes me 21 years old as of last week. It’s a pretty common mistake for humans to make, though, so don’t feel too bad about. Besides, I can’t even process alcohol.”

"Not quite human," Trevanyika points out, gesturing to her elongated skull and nose. "But rather similar, considering the World Assembly has automobiles and vegetation representing other member states."

[Living Corporations]

"Not quite human," Trevanyika points out, gesturing to her elongated skull and nose. "But rather similar, considering the World Assembly has automobiles and vegetation representing other member states."

"So a quartet of corporations should fit right in, then," says WebVid. "Good, good. So, what kind of entertainment do they have in your nation?"

"No," says LaPointe abruptly. "You are not selling them pirated movies. Wonder Co. can and will come here just to sue you a third time, see if he won't."

[Imperial Polk County]

"Yon automobile appears to be bleeping at you, sir. Perhaps we should fetch some gasoline? Or do you think it's a 'low battery' warning? Maybe there's a plug somewhere..." He trails off as he attempts to eavesdrop on the others' conversation.

Drane ignores Leo, looks up at Neville and taps his glass with his index finger. While he waits for a refill, he pulls out his cell phone and skims through some text messages until he arrives at one from his wife. He sighs and contemplates how to answer.

[Sapient Trading Cards]

The door opens in a flurry of cards. The cards spill out onto the floor of the bar and a figure emerges from the door.

"Barstool, i choose you!"

The figure throws a card at the bar. The fallen trading cards drag themselves after it, stacking themselves into the shape of a barstool. The figure walks into the light of the Strangers' Bar, revealing a mess of red hair and a young, almost childish face. The newcomer continues walking and takes his seat on the barstool of playing cards. Despite the weight of his body surely placing stress on the entire structure, the cards hardly seem to budge.

Turning to the nearest ambassador, the newcomer says, "Hello. My name is Ili Turo. Do you have any recommendations? The options at this bar seem quite extensive."

[Wallenburg]

"Not quite human," Trevanyika points out, gesturing to her elongated skull and nose. "But rather similar, considering the World Assembly has automobiles and vegetation representing other member states."

"So a quartet of corporations should fit right in, then," says WebVid. "Good, good. So, what kind of entertainment do they have in your nation?"

"No," says LaPointe abruptly. "You are not selling them pirated movies. Wonder Co. can and will come here just to sue you a third time, see if he won't."

"Pirated movies?" asks Trevanyika, genuinely confused. "You robbed a cinema of their films? Why would anyone buy stolen film? It's hardly of use to me, I don't own my own projector."

Gerald, the Wallenburgian chief of staff, interjects from a nearby booth. "Wallenburgians enjoy a wide variety of newspapers, magazines, and pamphlets, as well as over a hundred radio stations, mostly broadcasting news and live performances. Televisions are not commercially available, but the theater halls are quite nice, and they often offer both theater and movies."

[Living Corporations]

"Pirated movies?" asks Trevanyika, genuinely confused. "You robbed a cinema of their films? Why would anyone buy stolen film? It's hardly of use to me, I don't own my own projector."

Gerald, the Wallenburgian chief of staff, interjects from a nearby booth. "Wallenburgians enjoy a wide variety of newspapers, magazines, and pamphlets, as well as over a hundred radio stations, mostly broadcasting news and live performances. Televisions are not commercially available, but the theater halls are quite nice, and they often offer both theater and movies."

WebVid seems just as confused as Trevanyika. “So radio, but no television? And I have to assume, no internet? How do you live without- what?”

“Maybe I can explain things,” says LaPointe, “You have radio. I assume it’s a setup like back home, where the radio stations pay royalties to songwriters in exchange for being able to play their songs? Do you ever have cases where someone fails to pay said royalties, and comes into legal trouble because of it? Or if not that, what of the case of someone making a vast number of illicit copies of music CDs to resell- or perhaps records or wax cylinders? WebVid had a large number of customers who were using her service to do something similar with movies. Wonder Co., who owned the rights to many of said movies, objected.”

[Imperium Anglorum]

Televisions are not commercially available, but the theater halls are quite nice, and they often offer both theater and movies."

OOC: Are they air-conditioning equipped? Because if they are – half the entire your nation should be seeing some sort of film during the summer months.

[Herby]

Another five minutes. Beep. Five more minutes later. Beep. Only this time, within seconds the beep is followed by three long beeps.

[Wallenburg]

WebVid seems just as confused as Trevanyika. “So radio, but no television? And I have to assume, no internet? How do you live without- what?”

"Of course we have no internet. What use would it be with hardly any computers to communicate with?"

“Maybe I can explain things,” says LaPointe, “You have radio. I assume it’s a setup like back home, where the radio stations pay royalties to songwriters in exchange for being able to play their songs? Do you ever have cases where someone fails to pay said royalties, and comes into legal trouble because of it? Or if not that, what of the case of someone making a vast number of illicit copies of music CDs to resell- or perhaps records or wax cylinders? WebVid had a large number of customers who were using her service to do something similar with movies. Wonder Co., who owned the rights to many of said movies, objected.”

"I see. So she's a thief," remarks Trevanyika, looking over WebVid cooly. "Interesting. Well I'm not quite the best person to judge, considering my own legal issues. Still, distributing entertainment at the expense of its creators for one's own personal profit is hardly commendable."

Televisions are not commercially available, but the theater halls are quite nice, and they often offer both theater and movies."

OOC: Are they air-conditioning equipped? Because if they are – half the entire your nation should be seeing some sort of film during the summer months.

OOC: I'd hope they have air conditioning. A lack of air conditioning would represent quite a strange record of technological development.

[Imperial Polk County]

Another five minutes. Beep. Five more minutes later. Beep. Only this time, within seconds the beep is followed by three long beeps.

This time, Drane looks over at Herby, a hint of concern on his face. He drums his fingers on the bar, then pulls out his cell phone and dials a contact. "Hey, it's Dad. Fine, fine, just, you remember that time your mother's computer beeped four times, and you said some mumbo-jumbo about the 'ram' or the memory or something like that? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Well, what does it mean if a computer beeps three times like that? No, not your mom's computer, some computer here at the WA. Uh huh. Uh huh. No, I have no idea what brand motherboard. Oh. Well, is there anything we can try? Flash the what? I have no idea what that means. Ummm. I don't know, I suppose I can ask around, I'm sure someone here is more versed in it than I am. Okay, yeah, thanks, I'll get back to you later. Say hi to my Pookie for me."

Drane walks across the bar to Herby. "Flash the bye-ohs. Flash the bye-ohs. I have no idea what that means. Hey, any of you folks know how to flash a bye-oh?"

[Dirty Americans]

Another five minutes. Beep. Five more minutes later. Beep. Only this time, within seconds the beep is followed by three long beeps.

John Henry looks worried. "Is there a mechanic in the house? I'm afraid I only know about steam shovels and even then how to outperform them."

[Jefferson-Madison]

Alexander Hamilton, the WA rep of Jefferson-Madison, walks in. He fixes his auburn ponytail and his cravat, before sitting on a stool. He orders a good old Sam Adams.

[WA Kitty Kops]

"Now," said Markhov, turning towards the Cat, "I do hope that was adequate to your tastes?"

"Was very yummy, thank you," the Chief Inshpekshuuner said.

Another five minutes. Beep. Five more minutes later. Beep. Only this time, within seconds the beep is followed by three long beeps.

"I's gonna come back soon," he said to Markhov, "I gots to see what's wrong with Rumbly Car."

Jumping down from the table the cat made his way to the slowly beeping car and jumped onto its hood.

"Is you okay?" he asked.

Drane walks across the bar to Herby. "Flash the bye-ohs. Flash the bye-ohs. I have no idea what that means. Hey, any of you folks know how to flash a bye-oh?"

"Dunno 'bout flash," the cat said, feeling like he should have been rolling his eyes at the antics of the human, "but B-I-O-S is a basic in-out sysme- syste- systesmic."

OOC: If anyone wonders how the hell a cat can know what BIOS is, especially if they can't pronounce "system" properly, you have to remember that the Chief isn't quite as stupid as he pretends to be. And that whenever Janis isn't around, he fiddles with her computer.

[Living Corporations]

“I see. So she's a thief," remarks Trevanyika, looking over WebVid cooly. "Interesting. Well I'm not quite the best person to judge, considering my own legal issues. Still, distributing entertainment at the expense of its creators for one's own personal profit is hardly commendable.”

“Ok, first of all,” begins WebVid. “It’s my customers that upload everything. All I do is provide storage space and the means to do so. My website was meant for creative works and home videos. It’s not my fault they immediately started sharing copyrighted works.”

“You never responded to takedown requests, though,” interrupts LaPointe.

“Secondly,” WebVid continues, pointedly ignoring her compatriot. “The servers are in a nation with loose laws. Everything that happens through me is legal there.”

“Too bad the judge didn’t see it that way, huh?”

“It’s no different from a Vespuccian shipping company flying the flag of Panama to avoid labor regulations. Thirdly, there’s been no solid link between the presence of my web service and any decrease in profits of the likes of Wonder Co. He’s been completely unharmed by the whole thing.”

“And yet, he found it worthwhile to sue you twice and beat the shit out of you when you failed to learn your lesson from losing both of them,” LaPointe counters. “Not to mention there’s all the small independent creators who can’t easily absorb missing sales.”

[Sierra Lyricalia]

A figure enters the room, its entire head obscured by a full-face motorcycle helmet. Attentive observers might recognize the long black coat, pocket-festooned black coveralls (now with some pouches bulging slightly more than normal), and heavy-tread black Warrior boots - and of course the ever-present satchel. A red circle-A now dangles as a pendant from the figure's neck. The figure approaches the bar warily, sidling up next to Leo and not very subtle in its surveillance of the entities claiming to be the living embodiments of abstract commercial concerns.

"Eh? What's that? Speak up," Leo grumbles. "I can hardly make out words from mushmouth with that... cowardly eight-ball on your head."

The figure lifts the visor on its helmet and speaks again.

"I said, have they done anything menacing?" Steph says, a bit louder than necessary. "Filed any lawsuits, expropriated any resources, bought up any land?"

"Of course not. Your paranoia is without merit so far. All they've done is talk."

Steph throws her hands up in exasperation. "Of course they've been talking! That's how they achieve domination, is by communicating with anything and everyone! I suppose it's for the best they're here in the bar among off-duty diplomats instead of in smoke-filled rooms with executive staffers and shit. But if an outfit with corporate liability protections has achieved sapience, we're all in trouble."

She takes her coat off, carefully puts her satchel down on the nearest barstool, and withdraws a roughly softball-sized water balloon. She holds it up in front of her face and bows her head. Drawing a hammer-and-sickle above the balloon with her other hand, she bows her head and intones, "In nomine Populi, et Partis, et Rei Novae." She hefts the balloon in her throwing hand a couple of times, then plants her feet like Sandy Koufax in a playoff game.

"Sorry, Helen," she mutters, then winds up and lets fly right at the law firm's neck. She lowers her visor and relaxes, preparing for whatever's next.

[Imperial Polk County]

Drane walks across the bar to Herby. "Flash the bye-ohs. Flash the bye-ohs. I have no idea what that means. Hey, any of you folks know how to flash a bye-oh?"

"Dunno 'bout flash," the cat said, feeling like he should have been rolling his eyes at the antics of the human, "but B-I-O-S is a basic in-out sysme- syste- systesmic."

OOC: If anyone wonders how the hell a cat can know what BIOS is, especially if they can't pronounce "system" properly, you have to remember that the Chief isn't quite as stupid as he pretends to be. And that whenever Janis isn't around, he fiddles with her computer.

Drane nods. “Ah. Okay. Ummmm. But I still have no idea what that means.”