[validity] Must have prisons, youth rebelliousness
[name] Jailhouses Rocked!
[description] A controversial concert at @@NAME@@'s largest penitentiary headlined by guitarist Ronnie @@CURRENCY@@ went awry after he began playing his newest song, '@@CAPITOL@@ Prison Sues.' Buoyed by the anti-establishment message, the inmates became increasingly rowdy, resulting in a massive cell block riot. With news of the incident spreading, emboldened inmates at other institutions are causing further disturbances, plunging the @@DEMONYM@@ prison system into mass chaos.
[validity] State-Owned Prisons
[option] "@@DEMONYM@@ prison guards need immediate support!" gasps @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the @@DEMONYM@@ Department of Corrections. "We’re being completely overrun! With our current personnel numbers, there’s no way that officials can effectively contain these incidents. I don’t care if you need to take police off the streets: if something isn't done, we're going to have multiple prison breaks on our hands!"
[effect] police officers spend their time dealing with prison infractions instead of street crime
[validity] Private Prisons
[option] "My prison guards need immediate support!" gasps @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of the penitentiary franchise CorrectiveCorp. "We’re being completely overrun! With our current personnel numbers, there’s no way that my mercs—I mean, officials, can effectively contain these incidents. I don’t care if you need to take police off the streets: if something isn’t done, we’re going to have multiple prison breaks on our hands!"
[effect] police officers spend their time dealing with prison infractions instead of street crime
[option] "That won't be enough," booms General @@RANDOMNAME@@, entering your office with a firing squad behind him. "We can't afford to hold back. At this point, these inmates should be considered enemy combatants…and will be dealt with extreme prejudice. Soldiers are waiting at the ready, @@LEADER@@: just give the signal."
[effect] the military conducts bombing runs on state prisons
[option] "My engineers have you covered," confidently advertises @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ Johnson, founder of the start-up tech firm Optical Experiments. "@@NAME@@'s institutions need a long-overdue upgrade, anyway. With proper video cameras, automated sentries, high-grade lasers, et cetera, that pesky human factor will be swiftly eliminated. In more ways than one, of course."
[effect]each new prison turret comes with 65% more bullet per bullet
[option] "A non-violent solution is still perfectly attainable," beams @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of a parental watchdog group. "If that detestable Ronnie @@CURRENCY@@ had never thought to poke the @@ANIMAL@@'s nest, none of these incidents would have occurred in the first place. That type of music is too much trouble for its own good, wouldn’t you agree? If their inspiration is removed, inmate riots will naturally lose motivation."
[effect] prison labor involves smashing banned records instead of rocks
[option] "Perhaps y'all should have listened to the concerns of these inmates," sarcastically ponders Ronnie @@CURRENCY@@, having been taken in for questioning. "Something was going to happen eventually; I just happened to be the flashpoint. It’s never too late to make a difference, though. Call a meeting between the two sides, then sit down, shut up, and listen. Give these inmates a voice, and let them control the conversation for a change."
[effect]solid-gold toilets are @@DEMONYM@@ prisons least-expensive furnishings
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