Inspired by a conversation with my 5 year old son about what pi is.
DRAFT 2πr:
TITLE:
A Slice of the Pi
VALIDITY:
Must have computers
DESCRIPTION:
Recently a tech firm from the United Federation used a network of computers and the latest algorithms to calculate Pi to an incredible number of decimal places, smashing the previous world record by several orders of magnitude.
OPTION ONE
"We can break that United Federation record right here in @@NAME@@, I know it!" exclaims excitable mathematician @@randomname@@, dancing around you with a manic look on @@HIS@@ face. "All we need is a great big network of super-computers, with customised software, and a year or two of dedicated runtime. I've some ideas for some exciting new formulae that will make Chudnovsky look like a chump. I mean, what could be cooler than mathematics and computer programming?" @@HE@@ pushes @@HIS@@ spectacles up his nose and strikes a geeky superhero pose.
Outcome: pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within Pi
OPTION TWO
"Look, the pursuit of a list of numbers is just academic frippery and posturing," moans knitwear-clad structural engineer @@randomname@@. "Even physicists don't bother using values of pi to more than 160 decimal places, so there's no practical purpose here. Government research and academic subsidies should be focused purely on subjects which have real world applications and a sound case for projected economic or societal benefit. You know, like my underfunded research on drainage applications of composite 3D-printed concrete micro-structures with resin polymer interior scaffolding. It's really fascinating stuff. Here, I wrote a paper on it..."
Outcome: blue sky thinkers are reminded that the firmament is actually more of a grey-ish colour
OPTION THREE
OPTION VALIDITY: sports not banned
"Nerd alert!" yells former high-school quarterback turned fry chef @@randomname@@, shoulder barging between the two previous speakers, and knocking them to the ground. "Yeah! Feel that impact! Freight train comin' through! Y'know, the best thing to do here is not to spend money on all this geek stuff at all. School of hard knocks, that's the lesson plan these weaklings need!" @@HE@@ demonstrates with @@HIS@@ fists.
Outcome: brain injury is seen as a desirable outcome rather than a side effect of contact sports
OPTION FOUR
"Honestly, I've never liked pi. It's just so... irrational," says Minister of Mathematical Certainty Eddie Goodwin. "Can't we just legislate so that everybody in @@NAME@@ uses a @@DEMONYM@@ definition of pi? Let's just say pi is 3.2. I mean, that's true anyway for a given curvature of space time. Just say 3.2, and leave it at that, eh?"
Outcome: engineers are reinventing the wheel
DRAFT 1: