NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Jutsa]

These characters are wonderful.

I'm curious to know if a) the names are random (though I know Francis is not), and
b) if option 4 made it to the game. Congratulations to Fauxia for his fourth issue,
and Baggieland for his second edit.

(Seems like you have an interest in educational issues, Baggieland? )

[Jutsa]

I'd like to mention that a lot of these latest issues feel similar in some way...
I can't pin it down, but they have a similar atmosphere or charm to them.

At any rate, I also wanted to bump the list. Looks like most of it's gravitated around the later issues:

190.2, 488.3, 717.3, 760.3, 788.2, 788.5, possibly 837.5/6, 848.3, possibly 850.4, 851.4, possibly 858.5, 875.3, possibly 880.4, 884.4, possibly 896.6, 910.4, 911, who knows how much of 914, 917, 918.7, possibly 927,
and validities for 411.1/2, 523.3, 610.4, and all of 896.

[Fauxia]

Oh yeah, the names in 927.2 and 927.3 are random

[Jutsa]

I'll go ahead and update that while I add 928.
What's that? It's not been reported? Well, now it is.

#928: Get A Life [The Free Joy State; ed: Nation of Quebec]

The Issue
Some time ago, Skandilundian doctors helped a woman give birth to Alejandro, the first baby conceived by in vitro fertilisation in The Mesan Union. As Alejandro reaches the age of majority, new research reveals that an increasing number of Skandilundian babies are born as a result of the medical technique. The ensuing debate about IVF’s place in Jutsa comes to a head when you attend a ribbon-cutting at a new baby boutique in downtown any of the states or regions.

The Debate
1. “I’ve yearned for a baby for so long,” breathes Hera Clason, as she holds a pair of cream bootees against her flat stomach. “My own child to nurture, and raise into a good person and citizen of this country. I can support this child myself, so why shouldn’t I? In Skandilund, one in every ten babies is now born to an elective single mother. Why should Jutsa deny parenthood to loving and capable people, just because they haven’t found the right spouse? Fund this miracle, for all would-be parents of Jutsa, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or marital status.”

3. “Children cannot function socially without a real mother and father,” tuts traditionalist Jean-Luc Jones, pursing his lips in disapproval. “A study of seven teenage offenders from broken homes, published last year in The Conservative Science Periodical, showed that children lacking a nuclear family were more likely to be involved in housebreaking, tomfoolery, and sass than the two nice children in the traditional control group. If that doesn’t prove causation, I don’t know what will. It’s plain selfish for solo hussies and so-called ‘families’ to put their wishes before a child’s need for a mother, a father and a pet Feejayoplep named ‘Nomathemba’. Fund IVF, but only for traditional family units.”

4. “We shouldn’t be offering it to people just because they want it, anyway,” mutters your Minister of the Middle Ground. “A baby is not a fashion item. A baby is a human being, a fellow Jutsan. The state should fund IVF, but only on a case-by-case basis, to those who have a legitimate medical condition that makes it difficult to conceive children naturally, and who can demonstrate that they are responsible and ready for a child.”

5. “Oh, the budget,” sighs your Minister of Health, adding up calculations on her fingers. “Do you have any idea how much the government spends on health? I’m not sure, off the top of my head, but I can get some figures for you. We can’t afford to offer any IVF. The best thing to do is vet private clinics and let them provide the service for those who can pay. Yes, it won’t help everyone, but it’s really the best we can afford in this economy, and at least no-one can say they’re being discriminated against based on circumstances. So they can’t object.”

7. “I must object,” complains Wei Wright, director of the any of the states or regions Minimum Security Orphanarium. “I sympathise with those who can’t conceive, but does this overpopulated world need even more babies? Wouldn’t adoption be better than an expensive and painful medical procedure? IVF must be banned before our existing children run out of air to breathe!”

Yep - we need 2 and 6 now.

Edit: Pretty sure option 2 is for nations who've banned pets and option 6 is for state-run economies.
No clue if any of the names are fixed or random, though. Also pretty sure there's no option 8.

[Trotterdam]

1. “I’ve yearned for a baby for so long,” breathes Hera Clason, as she holds a pair of cream bootees against her flat stomach. “My own child to nurture, and raise into a good person and citizen of this country. I can support this child myself, so why shouldn’t I? In Skandilund, one in every ten babies is now born to an elective single mother. Why should Jutsa deny parenthood to loving and capable people, just because they haven’t found the right spouse? Fund this miracle, for all would-be parents of Jutsa, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or marital status.”

In vitro fertilization is serious overkill for that. The purpose of in vitro fertilization is to treat infertility, and is most often used for that purpose by heterosexual married couples where one or both partners has reduced fertility. If you just want to be a single mother and have no fertility problems, plain old artificial insemination, which is far less technically challenging, is sufficient.

Neither method, though, will allow single men or homosexual men to conceive without a surrogate, so "regardless of gender" is a bit overstated.

Edit: Pretty sure option 2 is for nations who've banned pets and option 6 is for state-run economies.

Actually, I think it's a variant of option 3 for nations with more religiousness than yours.

[Jutsa]

Ooh that also makes sense.

Gotta admit that the pet @@ANIMAL@@ is something to keep notice of though.

[Fauxia]

928.6

“I must object,” complains staunch conservative faith leader Layla Dumas, snatching the bootees from Hera. “If the Creator commands that a person be barren, then let it be so. You can’t play God, monkeying around with nature. Some people are sent infertility as a trial, to bring them closer to their Maker. We don’t know why. Maybe they sinned while they themselves were still in the womb. But to forget that only the Creator can breathe life - manufacturing these test-tube abominations - is heresy, and @@NAME@@ will surely be struck down for it.”

The name in option three is random, by the way.

I would expect that the optionality comes either from religion being allowed or for high religiousness, but I can't be sure.

I got 1,3,4,5,6. Still no sign of 2

[Awesome country of jj3]

Option 3 and 4 of 206 has a validity, since I did not get it.

[The Gamma Monster]

612.2 has a validity. Not available for nations with compulsory vegetarianism.

[Trotterdam]

Option 3 and 4 of 206 has a validity, since I did not get it.

Have you chosen option 3 on that issue previously?

[Jutsa]

Holy cow I'm on a finding spree

Haven't forgot everyone above, just haven't been focusing on NS lately. If I don't get to it by Tuesday, scream at me.

#929: Champagne in the Glass [Lancaster of Wessex; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
Overnight, police in any of the states or regions raided dozens of stores selling counterfeit wine that was masquerading as vintages from Jutsa, but actually originated from Dàguó. Furious wine executives and other lobbyists have pressed into your office the following day, afroth with rage.

The Debate
1. “This foreign rotgut is a threat to job-creating Jutsaish businesses!” rages Julie Gallow, head of one of the country’s largest wineries. “I’m trying to serve our fine vintages like Dom Prétention and Maxtepulciano d’Abruzzo to Jutsae, but people end up buying fake crap. We must create a special Liquor Legitimacy Office - covering both customs and law enforcement - to ensure the integrity of the products being sold. I’d drink to that!”

2. “Yeah, like that’ll work,” scoffs Doug Ponta, head of the Any of the states or regions Corner Store Alliance. “You’ll only end up raising taxes through the roof, eliciting lots of boos throughout Jutsa! Scotch that idea. If anything, we need LESS regulation and rules on local liquor and wine producers, especially if you’re so damn worried about importing phony hooch. A few tax credits for these hard-working entrepreneurs wouldn’t hurt either. Let’s give it a shot!”

3. “Our friend from the winery has an excellent idea. After all, bureaucracy solves everything,” chimes in red-tape lover Norm Gumble, who was reportedly voted ‘most likely to correct your grammar’ during high school. “Let’s take it a step further: nationalize all alcohol sales in Jutsa under the LLO brand. We can then control the product coming in, have enormous buying power, and rake in a vat load of taxes to help our ailing coffers. It’s a tipple, er, triple win! Cheers!”

4. As your office clears, an email from the Ambassador of Dàguó pops into your inbox: “We have read of the raid carried out by your crooked officials, unjustly targeting our excellent products. Perhaps if you lowered your ludicrous trade restrictions to allow more of our fine liquors into your nation, this supposed problem would go away. If you don’t, it just shows you are afraid because Dàguó wine is best wine, and our prices cannot be beat.”

[Jutsa]

Alrighty, added 929 and 928.6 (the first speaker's probably random then), as well as 612.2's validity.

I actually removed 206.(3/4), since they also seem pretty strange,
but I added them back in because I realized the restriction's probably because you're an autarky.

Thank you all.

Edit: also, regarding #928: Gotta say, I'm a little surprised so many options - particularly long ones - are in that issue.

[Yetiglanchi Baby]

#932: Teacher’s Past Blown Wide Open

A local kindergarten teacher was fired this weekend when the parent of one of her students uncovered her previous job as an adult film star. The teacher has filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against the school.

The Debate
1. “It’s disgraceful that this harlot was ever allowed around children!” spits PTA head Ebenezer Nelson, spraying your face as he speaks. “If someone of this ill repute can breeze into a job with children, then clearly our vetting processes simply aren’t robust enough. We ought to beef up our interviews, maybe start trading tips with national intelligence agencies so we get the best possible candidates. Our children are worth it.”

2. “I just fail to see why it’s anyone’s business,” retorts the fired teacher, Sasha Bleu, while twirling her hair around her finger. “It’s not as if I’m adding my old movies to the lesson plan. Really, no one would have known if it weren’t for a nosy parent. Sounds like someone’s secretly a fan of mine! Tell these holier-than-thou prudes to mind their own business - all that matters is the job I’m doing now.”

3. “We need to take this a step further!” declares noted feminist activist Samuel Torres, trying to burn his bra, but only succeeding in melting the latex a little. “Sex isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s a beautiful part of being alive and frankly the level of slut-shaming going on here is absolutely deplorable. Sasha needs to be celebrated, not punished! In fact, maybe government should be subsidising adult entertainment!”

4. “@@NAME@@ has travelled too far down a dark path,” reprimands Bishop Aldo Cheyney, who is sprinkling holy water on Ms. Bleu. “I agree something must be done, but we must treat the disease, not the symptom. We must ban videos of the naked form, and indeed, prohibit nakedness anywhere but in private chambers.”

Issue by The Dominion of Yetiglanchi Baby
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Candlewhisper Archive]

You posted your own issue! That's like self-stimulation, man. You'll go blind, I warn ya.

More seriously, good work. Look forward to seeing future drafts from you.

[Jutsa]

Updated.

Congratulations.

[Trotterdam]

Ah, #932 has already been posted, but I can confirm that all of the names are random except for Sasha Bleu, which is fixed.

We seem to have skipped over a couple of issues! I recognize one of them as this draft, despite all of the effect lines having been changed, I can't find the other, but it looks like it'll be... interesting.

[Bollesiatan]

930
Flag It Down?


The Issue
Across Bollesiatan, pollsters found that a majority of the population would support displaying provincial flags outside government buildings. This discovery, accompanied by a garish bar graph, has made the front page of The None Times.

The Debate
1.“This deserves our unflagging support,” says excitable vexillologist Ed Hadfield. “All the provinces of our nation have distinct cultures and identities - why don’t we celebrate the flags that represent them? Every province of Bollesiatan deserves to sport a unique flag. That way, people can have a tangible symbol that states who they are as citizens of their province.” He spills a briefcase containing several dozen drafts on your floor.


2.“Stringing up flags for our provinces will only spawn disorder in our nation and bring patriotism to an all-time low,” panics Kimberly Nguyen, who has lived in a dozen provinces in the last decade. “Instead of our people identifying as proud Bollesiatanians, they will call themselves natives of their provinces! Imagine our children claiming to hail from Fart Province, not to mention radicals who hate our government leading demonstrations against Bollesiatan now that they have public symbols to represent their cause! We must raise no flags except that of our country.” She salutes the Bollesiatanian flag outside your window.


3.“Why do we still have flags?” wonders social critic Randy Trevelyan, who appears to be waiting for applause. “What’s the point in being proud of hailing from this province or Bollesiatan or The Secret Order or the planet? Deep down we’re all just people, not mindlessly loyal to a few colors run up a pole. I say we do away with these propaganda symbols altogether.”



Issue by The United Cantons of Christo Pax

Edited by Zwangzug


It also seems 179.3 has a validity and 179.4 on the list is actually option 5. I dont know what 179.4 really is.

[Jutsa]

Huh... guess the Vexing Vivillology whatever draft isn't making it, then?

Kinda sad, because of how well-written that was, but it definitely looked hard to implement with that description.
I'm guessing that one was a rewrite of the other, though.

Congratulations to Christo Pax! Updated.

Also nice to see Zwanzug so active, now.

Final note: I noticed this when I checked that nation to check for macros...

people all over Bollesiatan are dying of 'Mad Fart Disease'.

Not to mention the name of @@ANIMAL@@ province. My word, I was not expecting all of this when I set out to work on the issue list.

Haven't macro'd the names, yet, if anyone can confirm/deny their randomness.

[Gandoor]

Haven't macro'd the names, yet, if anyone can confirm/deny their randomness.

I got issue 930 and the names are different than reported, so they are random. (I got Wei Gutnick for option 1, Brian Neumann for option 2, and Heather Trax for option 3, if that matters at all )

[Trotterdam]

#200 Birds, Bees, and Breeding Teens

The Issue

A study has shown that an increasing proportion of teenagers in @@NAME@@ are falling pregnant.

The Debate

1. "We need comprehensive sex education to be mandatory in all schools," says teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@, while tidying away some diagrams that make your eyes water. "The plain fact is that teenagers will experiment with sexual intercourse despite what society or their parents wish. So I say give these kids free contraceptives, and make them fully aware of the consequences of their actions. Information is what they need, not condemnation. If they ignore it then hey, it's their own damn fault."

2. ???

3. "If you give them contraception it'll just encourage them to do... terrible things," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious parent and member of evangelist group Moral Minority. "And what's with giving them so much information? There's even diagrams for goodness sake! Have they never heard of 'monkey see, monkey do'? They'll just go and try it out, mark my words! The solution is simple: girls should be kept at home and away from the monkey house of lustful impetuousness and young males until they are of age. Teaching teenagers abstinence and chastity is the key, not giving them step-by-step manuals."

4. "However sex education is taught, it is still social engineering and so undermines parental authority," says conservative moral crusader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "My own son learned about something called 'homosexuality' the other day! For shame! We all know it should be Adam and Eve, not Adam and... Geoff? Anyway, my point is that sex education should be dropped from schools and instead taught by parents the way they see fit. That way children will get consistent messages and parents, not society, will cop the blame if any of their kids fall pregnant."

5. "No-one's asked me my opinion yet," says teenage mother Catherine Gratwick, as she bottle-feeds her baby. "I think it's perfectly obvious what the cause of teenage pregnancy is - teenage boys! My son's father is the one that got me into this mess. He's the one who pressured me into having sex, but all the education is focused on the girls. Teenage fathers should be made responsible for their actions for once and be made to join the military so they can send their wages back to pay for their children's upkeep. If that's not a deterrent, then I don't know what is."

6. "I think we've missed the fact that maybe this teenage pregnancy phenomenon is not such a bad thing," says famous demographer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We need the population to grow, we need more men of working age, we need more folk to pay taxes, et cetera. There are plenty of sound demographic reasons why we should be encouraging women to have families as soon as they can. I don't think we ought to discourage teenagers from procreating - it's nature's way you know."

Issue by Eta Carinae
Edited by Sirocco and Candlewhisper Archive

Strangely, the actual issue text changed less than I expected. Changes are limited to reorganizing "@@RANDOMNAME@@, a teacher" to "teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@,", italicizing "Moral Minority", removing the word "marriagable" before "age", and adding another editor credit... and adding a new option, that I didn't get. Sources indicate that it's for nations that banned contraception.

Wait, that's because you already updated it partially at some point. Comparing against my own historical log, I see more changes: the addition of "evangelist group" to option 2, changing "newspaper columnist" into "moral crusader", and another rearranging of "Catherine Gratwick, a teenage mother" into "teenage mother Catherine Gratwick,"... but the really significant changes are in the last option. Oh sure, there's the minor stylistic rearranging of "@@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous demographer" into "famous demographer @@RANDOMNAME@@" and trimming of "demographical" to "demographic", but more importantly, the "By all means educate them about the dangers, but" text was cut entirely, encouraging women to have families was newly qualified with "as soon as they can", "more tax for public services" was reworded into "more folk to pay taxes", and sneakily, "we need more people of working age" was changed to "we need more men of working age". All this adds up to making the option sound much more extreme.

The effect lines, though, are completely different. The old ones were:

#200 Birds, Bees, and Breeding Teens
1. schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes
2. dark alleys and public toilets are filled with furtive sexual activities among teenagers and unmarried adults
3. a study has shown that many parents are too embarrassed to teach their children sex education
4. teenage fathers are forced to join the army
5. the lowest age at which one can marry has been recently lowered to 12

While I think the new ones are:

#200 Birds, Bees, and Breeding Teens
1. teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough
2. teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough
3. boys are forced to pair off for the school disco slow dance as the girls are all staying at home
4. the most common answers to where babies come from are "uh... ask your mother" and "um... ask your father"
5. soldiers have a preference for fire-and-forget payloads
6. young girls often attend the same schools as their children

---

And here's option 3 on #848:

#848 It's a Girl Thing

The Issue

A commercial for a new childrenswear boutique has been unveiled, sparking debate over gender stereotypes in advertising. It features a young girl ballet-dancing in a rose-pink bedroom, holding a baby-pink toy unicorn and a fluffy cameo-pink magic wand, while wearing matching cotton-candy pink dancing shoes, a tiara and flounced pink tutu.

The Debate

1. "This is explicit sexism for all ages!" cries feminist @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_1@@, while graffiti-tagging an advert that depicts a woman cheerily vacuuming as her family unwraps their Maxxmas presents. "Don't you see that such stereotypes are harmful to everyone, that you're telling all girls that the only thing they're good for is being beautiful? We've got six-year-old girls who only want to grow up to be pretty. How's that helping to encourage them to be productive citizens? Eliminate ads that perpetuate the lie of gender-specific roles. Allow everyone to grow up as the wonderful, unique individuals they are!"

2. "You've got to be kidding me," groans Man's World Inc. CEO @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while uploading a photo of @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ to the Man's World blog under the heading 'Today's Crazy Lady'. "We use stereotypes because they're what customers want! Girls like pink and enjoy playing house; boys like guns and cars. It's basic biology, nature not nurture, as countless biopsychology experiments with chimps have shown. Advertisers shouldn't be censored, and normal people who are happy for little girls to be little girls will shop away, happy as clams."

3. "You've got to be kidding me," groans Man's World Inc. CEO @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, who's writing copy for his company, the advert for which features a man in a garish shirt being served coffee by a bevy of kneeling maidens. "We use stereotypes because they're what customers want! Girls like pink and enjoy playing house; boys like guns and cars. It's basic biology, nature not nurture, as countless biopsychology experiments with chimps have shown. Advertisers shouldn't be censored, and normal people who are happy for little girls to be little girls will shop away, happy as clams."

4. "The impact of ads can be used to our advantage," states your Minister of Niceness @@RANDOMNAME@@, tutting disapprovingly at Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, who is still writing anatomical suggestions of where you might stick the vacuum. "Pay financial incentives to advertisers who depict @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ in stereotype-shattering roles, so society will become more open-minded. Imagine: women playing exhausting sports, toasting friends in a coffee shop, wiring a plug, administering a company, even growing a beard. And men, too long derided as incompetent homemakers, unafraid to nurture a baby in public, tend a sick parent, or cook a meal. Break antiquated gender roles and protect your citizens' freedom!"

Issue by Braskia
Edited by The Free Joy State

It's not a communist variant. I guess communists are just ineligible for this entire issue, which makes sense.

I did get it on what's usually my communist puppet these days, but during a temporary lapse in communism.

Rather the change is:

while uploading a photo of @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ to the Man's World blog under the heading 'Today's Crazy Lady'

to

who's writing copy for his company, the advert for which features a man in a garish shirt being served coffee by a bevy of kneeling maidens

It looks to be due to banning the internet.

I didn't actually get option 2, but I copied it and touched it up because you made some macro errors (also in option 4).

[Dwarfpolis]

930.1 could raise culture

[Dwarfpolis]

930.1 could raise culture

[Jutsa]

Updated, Updated, and Updated.

I actually did update #200 already but it seems there were a couple of quick tweaks since then and also I did not know about the missing option 2.

Uhm... curious...

Is 200.2 a "religion is banned" or "marriage is banned" version of 200.3? Edit: Or both???

Also, I'm kinda surprised 200.6 still exists given our current stance on that sort of thing.
Edit: Might be worth having a followup to that after all...

[Bears Armed]

#934

@@LEADER@@, Don’t Tear Down That Wall!

The Issue
Plans to demolish a disused widget foundry in @@CAPITAL@@ have met unexpected controversy: work by Pranksy, the famous graffiti artist, has been discovered on its walls.

The Debate
1. “This looks to be a previously unknown work from his early ‘puke-green stick figures’ phase,” proclaims popular art-lover and broadcaster Melvyn Blogg. “The building must be preserved in its entirety so that those masterpieces can still be seen in their rightful context!”

2. “Graffiti? Bah!” exclaims Mayor Xanatos Malik. “This is just vandalism, and so-called ‘artists’ should be forced to clean it up. My cousin is in charge of the site, and I’ve given ourselves planning permission, so let’s go ahead with demolition. Economic progress can’t be held up by a few wall-doodles.”

3. “Let’s compromise,” suggests Charles Sourcheese, a modern art collector. “Why not just remove the sections of the walls that bear Pranksy’s works into a suitable museum - such as, ahem, mine - and then let the rest of the old building be demolished? I’d appreciate that greatly, and you do know I’m one of your party’s most public supporters, don’t you?”

Issue by The Free Bears of Bears Armed
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

The names in options 1 & 3 are definitely fixed; the name in option 2 is presumably random.

[Jutsa]

Another self-report? What is this madness???

Seriously though, congratulations. I was looking forward to this one.

Edit: Updated!