(I have one more coming up next)
I've gotta say that "You've Got Mail!" would certainly be a better title,
and I'm still very on the fence about which to choose if you could help,
but I also made this draft because I wanted to make a poke at the
now seldom used "X Y, say(s) Z" kind of title formula.
Also this may already be covered, we'll see.
Title: Hi, Says Very Enthusiastic Child from @@CAPITAL@@
The Issue: Upon having a very slow day, you decided to look through a pile of dismissed issues by your desk. Several uninteresting issues later, you decided to check your mail, and noticed a little letter that you decided to have your secretary take a look at.
Option 1: "Hi! My name's @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@. I wanted to thank you for being my leader. Colon, closing parentheses. Love, @@FIRSTNAME_1@@," reads your secretary, out loud, to your cabinet. "That is so sweet! @@LEADER@@, we have to read these more. If you don't, then I certainly will. In fact, I could probably go through these while you're solving issues, if you'd like."
[effect]@@LEADER@@ listens to fanmail while solving @@NAME@@'s issues
Option 2: "What a snot-nosed little kid," sneers your grumpy Uncle @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, before spitting in the message's general direction and drenching your shoes. "If you ask me, this mail is a disgrace. You have better things to attend to than some 'fan mail'. Besides, what if one of those opposes your leadership? You'd then pout all day and get nothing done. Use those letters as fire fuel, says your uncle."
[effect]anything sent to @@LEADER@@ with a heart on it is immediately disposed of
Option 3: "If you ask me, this is a very important issue," declares your Minister of Telecommunications, who seems to enjoy giving you reports. "I think it'd be an integrity move to take time off and read these issues out loud and to the public - not all of them, mind you, but as much as you can get through, good and bad. That way, the populace will know that they're being heard. Plus, you never know - an important issue might come up from one of those letters."
[effect]@@LEADER@@ spends more time reading out national issues than actually solving them
Validity: Nation has state-run media
Option 4: "Lets not waste an opportunity, here," schemes your Minister of Propaganda, confiscating all of your mail. "We should look through these letters and find the ones that best complement you. If we run dry, we can always make up some names and come up with something really nice to say about you, ourselves. We'll even have spokespersons repeat them on every station. That way everyone will know how great a leader you are!"
[effect]the media seems to only say positive things about @@LEADER@@
