The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

[Deadeye Jack]

Big congrats to Kurnugia btw. I know it's a little late.

Also this weekend has been a busy one with some good chases

[Kurnugia]

Big congrats to Kurnugia btw. I know it's a little late.

Also this weekend has been a busy one with some good chases

It's like a promotion gift. ;p

[RiderSyl]

Big congrats to Kurnugia btw. I know it's a little late.

Also this weekend has been a busy one with some good chases

And some mean variance!

[Vincent Drake]

WELCOME TO THE NS WINTER OLYMPICS!


Olympic Theme

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND we're back after yet another wall of commercials!

We have exciting results to report from tonight's figure skating events! TBH's short program ended in disaster as they fell in one jump after another. Unfortunately, they only had enough stamina to land one jump in the free tag, not nearly enough to skate by and make the podium. Many technical points were left on the table in a disappointing performance that wasn't even worth following by the second commercial break. It was a good training run, however, and we expect to see Team TBH back on the ice in 7 hours.

Nakari is not impressed...

Then, TGW, SPSF, and TITO went 1-2-3 in the ski jump. Every athlete successfully got airborne for 13s and landed a huge jump. The sensation in the press box could only be described as "liberating" as one human after another shed their worldly limitations to take flight.

Next, we have the spectacular show in long track speed skating! In a truly grueling, nearly 50 minute set of races, TGW, SPSF, DKA, and TRE all qualified for the final with swift moves and motivated skaters, skaters who cross-endorsed each other to show unity. TRE racked up wins in the early races, but were chased furiously by experienced and skilled TGW skaters (with one lone SPSF qualifier straggling in the rear of the pack). Both TGW and TRE skaters picked up wins in the middle races. However, TRE stamina started to wear out in the final, with TGW across the line and TRE nowhere in sight.

Skatespawn wiping out after mis-timing their moves.

Finally, complacent Athletes From Equilism, dominant for some 259 days, were knocked off the podium by TGW and SPSF in curling! TGW and SPSF's slow and careful approach swept away the entire field. Having failed to send an active team in the past year, Equilism only had inexperienced individuals competing, individuals who stood no chance in defending their title (again).

RIP WZEU.

In other news, W&S made his triumphant return to the olympic stage after a long absence and immediately led in the first skate. Pyrosky also returned to competition, an athlete so elite that he could afford to lose track of his numbers. Switz was set to make an olympic debut for Team TGW, but unfortunately had to scratch right before the opening ceremony.

And now, we must leave you with yet another block of lame car commercials where the entire thing is computer-generated, commercials for drugs where the listing of side effects takes more than half of the commercial's run time, and whoever else is desperate enough to pay overinflated advertising rates that admittedly help pay my cousin's NBC salary, and he's becoming the face of the channel, so I put up with the ads, but ulgh. Did you know that you could save 15% or more on defense by switching to TGW?

Medals in Figure Skating and Speed Skating: 15
The Northern Confederation
Eastern European Union
The Middle West
Searaf
Countries That Happen To Be Neighbours
The Caravan Corner
The Federalist Entente
The Ravensgard
We Have Cooties
Epizephyrian Locris
Nepots
Boingfing
The Barren Arctic
Community Of Nationalsocialist Countries
Deathwatch

Ski Jump Dominated: 1
The Flying Spaghetti Monster Lands

Curling Swept: 1
Warzone Europe

Team TGW
First Warden Roavin
Chamberlain Vincent Drake
Commander Tim-Opolis
Constable Witchcraft and Sorcery
Constable Kingdom of Circle of Magi
Lieutenant Kurnugia
Lieutenant Pyrosky

Team SPSF
SPSF The Resentine Kingdom

Team DKA
DKA Rom

Note to scary mods: I can spoiler tag the images if it's a problem. But, it's almost 5 AM and that's effort.

[Chingis]

Vinny asks for bump I give bump

[Kurnugia]

Not enough skiing. 0 /10

The VC was lit today.

[Malphe]

It's like more time was spent on the report than on the OP. Maybe they're only doing this stuff so they have an excuse to write reports.

[Witchcraft and Sorcery]

Half the fun is writing the reports. You gotta celebrate, fam!

Seriously, it feels good to be actually back. It’s been far too long, y’all.

[Benevolent Thomas]

It's like more time was spent on the report than on the OP. Maybe they're only doing this stuff so they have an excuse to write reports.

With quality gameplay comes quality posts. Excellent work all around being done by the Wardens as of late; I'm one happy homer!

[Tim-Opolis]

Johny Weir's outfits this Winter Olympics have been an absolute adventure to follow.

Also, it's always a pleasure to visit our good friends in Warzone Europe.

[Vulturret]

Nice report.

[RiderSyl]

Y'all really fucked with Warzone Europe?
That's not wise...

[Tim-Opolis]

Y'all really fucked with Warzone Europe?
That's not wise...

Warzone Europe, just like every single other Warzone region, was created for the sole purpose of being invaded. They have no claim to regional sovereignty, and their settlers should be aware of what they're getting into.

Also, we already fucked with it once and all that gave us was the absolute comedy that was Westwind's reaction.

[RiderSyl]

Y'all really fucked with Warzone Europe?
That's not wise...

Warzone Europe, just like every single other Warzone region, was created for the sole purpose of being invaded. They have no claim to regional sovereignty, and their settlers should be aware of what they're getting into.

I say it's not wise, and your response is to explain what a Warzone is. Even though you know that I know what a Warzone is. You're weird sometimes, Tim.

Also, we already fucked with it once and all that gave us was the absolute comedy that was Westwind's reaction.

Westwind's reaction was not funny.

[Revall]

"Incoming nations might as well leave"

[Fauxia]

Oh no, you raided a warzone? Ebil raiders!

[Escade]

Hilarious report, awesome use of images and love the hunger games and winter Olympics references <3

TGW always on top with the reports \o/

[Witchcraft and Sorcery]

WARDEN GLOAT POST TEMPLATE - DELETE THIS PART BEFORE POSTING

HERE IS A DEFAULT FLAG. IT HAS A WHITE BACKGROUND SO YOU WILL REMEMBER TO MAKE IT INTO A PRETTY IMAGE.



TITLE

INTRODUCTION:
This is where you write the introduction. In case you don’t know what an introduction is, what are you doing on NationStates? Go back and study for your exams, you lazy slob. The introduction is where you do the setup: make some jokes about the Black Hawks, compare things to something unrelated, and make a bunch of jokes at the expense of all the raiders we stomped on all update long! It's a winning formula that can't be beat. And now, for the low low price of joining the Wardens, you can get in on this winning formula too! And as an added bonus, we'll throw in all the benefits of being a warden! I totally didn't add this only for the purpose of releasing our fabulous template for the world to see. Just do it. You know you want to. Come on, we've saved a place for you!

(REPLACE THIS OTHER DEFAULT FLAG WITH ANOTHER RANDOM IMAGE) and feel free to add more random gifs/images as you please. Just make sure you format appropriately and don't mess up the tags like I did when writing this.

UPDATE:

Talk some things about update in the context of whatever random thing you’re comparing the update to. Tonight, for example, the Wardens and some friends from SPSF went on a defending spree! Twenty-two defenses in one night. What a fantastic achievement! Give everyone a pat on the back. Except the Black Hawks. Give them a more consistent trigger. And change all your flags to default ones so you can banject Vandoosa with utmost efficiency! It's scientifically proven to improve banjection speed by 23%, but don't ask me! Ask Vinny, mastermind of this strategy and fastboi extroardinare.

Ban and eject, ban and eject, ban and eject... *dances like Roavin in the VC every time he gets lead*

Make a few more funny gifs. Joke about how good we are. You know the drill. And that's how you write a gloat post like the wardens! I hope you enjoyed this guide.

And now, roll credits.

LOOK AT ALL THESE REGIONS WE DEFENDED!

22 defenses for the Wardens tonight! That's an impressive number, Phil. What do you think of the return of W&S on the Wardens' performance?

Sikhi Empire
Le Booty
The Lancashire Union
League of Losers
Threadsville
World of Ashes
Trash
The Eden System
Gwa Gwa
Fascistica Dominia
Devious Tyrant
Vaeris
Statistics Center
Imperial Commonwealth of War
Succ
Lemon Land
The Southwark Keys
The Crystal City
Miglian Archipelago
Southern Queensland
The Holy Cabinet
Deathwatch

AND HERE IS WHERE YOU TALK ABOUT ALL THE GREAT PEOPLE THAT JOINED YOU ON THE FABULOUS, GLOAT POST WORTHY UPDATE:

Wardens Present:

First Warden Roavin
Chamberlain Vincent Drake
Warden-Constable Witchcraft and Sorcery
Warden-Constable Kingdom of Circle of Magi
Warden-Lieutenant Kurnugia

Allies Present:

SPSF United States of Vietnam

[RiderSyl]

Oh no, you raided a warzone? Ebil raiders!

Hi Warden Fauxia. I said messing with WZEU was unwise, not immoral. All you did was mock an argument that I never made. Good job.

Trash

"Wardens successfully defend Trash" has such untapped meme potential.

[Vincent Drake]

Trash

"Wardens successfully defend Trash" has such untapped meme potential.

We also got succ and le booty, it was a good night.

[Vando0sa]

I really wanted the Trash region.. so much cool stuff can be found while dumpster diving.. I am also super sleepy and default flags are gross!

[Roavin]

Trash

"Wardens successfully defend Trash" has such untapped meme potential.

We were absolutely memeing about it in Libcord VC, especially since I got the lead on it.

"Roavin picking up our trash again" etc.

[Kurnugia]

Trash

"Wardens successfully defend Trash" has such untapped meme potential.

Sorry, vandy getting offended by being kicked out by nations with a default flag is more fun.

[RiderSyl]

"Wardens successfully defend Trash" has such untapped meme potential.

We were absolutely memeing about it in Libcord VC, especially since I got the lead on it.

"Roavin picking up our trash again" etc.

Okay, I sit corrected.
It has slightly tapped meme potential.

[Malphe]

Trash

"Wardens successfully defend Trash" has such untapped meme potential.

Once I detagged Gonorrhea, still don't want to face the implications.

Oh no, you raided a warzone? Ebil raiders!

How dare they! What a bastardization of NationStates!