Septentrion Regional Headlines

[Minilov]

Shop security guards to be issued with Segways

MALJUBAV, Minilov — Shoplifters beware! The security guards that protect the stores on Maljubav’s busiest shopping street will soon be able to reach speeds of up to 20km/h. The security guards all work for the security company Sigurnosti.

The introduction of Segways should help them to catch even the quickest thief.

Using a Segway a security guard can get from one end of the Glavna Street to the other in just one minute.

Mirno Razbojnik of Sigurnosti told the Korrespondent that: “Another advantage guards have when they are on Segways is that they are higher up”.

The use of Segways will be extended to other shopping streets elsewhere if it proves successful on the Glavna Street. “We will look at how the project evolves, but we are already considering extending it to other shopping areas, supermarket and even shopping centres”, Mr Razbojnik added.

[Minilov]

Prepare yourself for the return of winter

MALJUBAV, Minilov — After a relatively warm but exceptionally dull January, the coming days are likely to see a fall in temperatures as winter returns. On Friday morning it had already started snowing in the northeast. At the start of next week temperatures across the country are predicted to plummet, with top temperatures hardy climbing above freezing.

On Monday and Tuesday, the weather will be wintery and changeable with top temperatures of between 5 and 6°C in southern parts of Minilov.

However, temperatures are predicted to nosedive dive on Tuesday night with frost being forecast in most areas. This could well result in slippery conditions on the roads, so drivers beware.

Speaking on MNTV radio on Sunday morning our weatherman Franz Odujitere said "From Monday we’ll see the sun and that is good news. It will get colder with top temperatures of 2°C on Tuesday. On Wednesday and Thursday temperatures won’t rise above freezing. The minimum temperatures will fall to between -2°C and -10°C".

[Vyzhva]

█ Ⰲ Ⱂ Ⰵ Ⱃ Ⰵ Ⰴ

Fresh 4 Year Economic Development Initiative Laid Up

Havrylo Savenko
15/2/2018 - Melna, People's State of Vyzhva

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Photo Courtesy: Bohdan Lutsenko

DURING A NATIONAL announcement made by our Collective People's Rada through both television and radio revealed their new 4 year plan for the coming years. The plan, which is set to commence in July this year, was worked out in unison between our Minister of Industrial Ventures, Artem Popov, and Minister of Agricultural Resources, Pavlo Kushnir. The plan envisions a focus on agricultural efforts, which according to the plan need to be raised by 11%, as well as a focus within in the military industry of our Collectivist State, taken into account the rising tensions between the filthy Galenosphere, spearheaded by the greedy capitalists of Tol Galen.

2017 saw one of our highest national agricultural outputs ever, all thanks to the dedicated planning of our Collective People's Rada, but as previously mentioned, our agricultural output needs to be increased further within the coming four years due to a tightened stream of economic resources, but surely this can and will be achieved by our persistent and glorious agrarian populations, who have fulfilled the wishes of our Government several times before and hopefully will do it again. For our agricultural effort to be boosted however, our Government has declared that a focus upon the manufacturing of agricultural equipment will also be put in effect in order to boost our agricultural yields.

The brave men of our national defence force, the men of the People's Mobilisation, will not be cast in the shadows, as international opposition against Vyzhva and the justified deeds of our government is on a steady increase, a strong and modern is therefore required to preserve and defend our national sovereignity. The plan of course mentions an all-time support of our People's Mobilisation, which bravery is critical to keeping our country out of the spheres of influence which globalist capitalist countries such as the greedy Organised States and its allies possess.

This new plan, will surely lead Vyzhva into the light and onto the path of becoming a completely self-sufficient country. Of course, nothing of this would have never come true if it wasn't for our guiding light, the Assembly of the Zayetist-Collectivist Offensive! █

Approved By The Ministry of Domestic Information
© Ⰲ Ⱂ Ⰵ Ⱃ Ⰵ Ⰴ !

[West Atlantia]

MARACAIBAN CRISIS DEEPENS

Sunday, February 18th, 2018.

Avallónë, Tol Galen - During her address from Parliament Hill this morning Prime Minister Aisling Fitzgerald announced that, due to the "increasingly belligerent and provocative rhetoric" coming from the Maracaiban leadership and their perceived willingness to use military force to threaten allied nations that a second Carrier Strike Group supported by a Surface Warfare Squadron would deploy to the region in addition to the already present Carrier Strike Group and rumoured nuclear submarines. This comes at a time of higher tensions than ever before with Maracaiban and Dayashinese leaders in particular exchanging ever-more heated words on an increasingly regular basis.

Prime Minister Fitzgerald went on to say that, "It would be unwise for President Kerman to underestimate the willingness of this nation to support its closest ally in such testing times". She also went on to say, "whilst this nation has always tried to 'speak softly' on the world stage, preferring to diplomatically resolve its issues, it would, however, be prudent to bare in mind that it does in fact fact posses a 'big stick' and the will to use it should push come to shove".

It is expected that Prime Minister Fitzgerald will travel to Dayashina next week to meet her Dayashinese opposite to discuss what (if any) further action will be taken against Maracaiban jingoism in the area.

[New Hayabusa]

The Rising Sun Tribune

Dayashina Holds Massive Show of Force
Government Addresses Recent Build-up in Tensions

Dayashinese Airborne troops stand at attention - Nakazara, Dayashina

Ozaki, Shogo | 18 February, 2018 - As a regular part of the proceedings of the biannual celebration of Remembrance Day, held in honour of the Dayashinese warriors who gave their lives to the nation during the Pan-Septentrion War, Dayashina put on a massive parade through the streets of Nakazara, showcasing it's military progression. Ten thousand men marched through the streets of the national capital, accompanied by extensive amounts of military hardware, including the awesome Type 12, Dayashina's recently unveiled and prized main battle tank. In the air, low-flying pilots showcased their skill as they displayed the unseen capabilities of the D5 Accentor and the D3/A Divine Wind. Proceedings went as they normally do, as the servicemen and equipment completed their routes and thousands of people took to the streets to watch the spectacular event take place and pay respects to their ancestors.

However, this celebration of Remembrance Day, unfortunately, has been corrupted with a far more sinister connotation. The biannual parade, this time, was more of a deliberately planned mode of posturing alongside it's original purpose, which is to show the extensive appreciation with which Dayashinese remember their recent ancestors. With the parade came an immediate announcement from the government that they would be proposing a fairly significant uptick in defence spending in parliament. Prime Minister Daichi Noru, already known as one of the most polarising figures in contemporary Dayashinese politics to date, went on to state that there was "nothing" that the opposition party could possibly do to stop this from going through, further stressing the utmost importance of maintaining and extending Dayashina's firm hold over EASTCOM.

Dayashinese opposition leader Shiina Fukuda and her counterparts were quick to express their absolute disgust with the actions of the governing party, claiming that defence spending is already at a "disgustingly" high figure and that there is no need for such an uptick. Furthermore, they questioned the aggressiveness with which the Noru administration has approached its duties to the Grand Alliance in their control of EASTCOM, and brought forth the idea that Dayashina should invest more in calmer, less aggresive diplomacy rather than military dominance. To finish their response, the opposition pointed out the resounding fact that Dayashina is approaching it's highest level of militarism post-PSW, telling the administration to be "careful" with the power that they "tout so proudly". Noru, further spiking the opposition's anger, stated that they possess an "unrealistic" and "warped" worldview, and that current times naturally called for an increased focus on defence.

Nakazara, the capital city of 30 million, was buzzing
in the wake of the most eventful R-Day parade to date

Furthermore, the Prime Minister went on to address the Grand Alliance, and Galenic Prime Minister Aisling Fitzgerald on the matter. Noru expressed his gratitude to Ms Fitzgerald for her immediate display of solidarity with Dayashina and it's people.

"The Galenic people," Noru said, "despite our vast cultural differences, have proven their worth as the greatest ally and friend Dayashina has ever had. As partners, there are no limits to what we can achieve, and there is nothing in the world that can stop us when we combine efforts to achieve a goal. This crisis will be no different, and we will come out on top of these turbulent times so long as unity exists between us. I look forward to the meeting with Ms Fitzgerald, and I look forward to getting things done where they need to be done."

In addition to this, Noru established that Dayashina would remain true to it's duties as a critical member of the Grand Alliance, and that it would maintain the current peaceful order in EASTCOM at any cost.

[Jedoria]

TheTukayyid Sentinel

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As international tensions rise, Federated Combine watches the border

18 February 2018

The Tukayyid Sentinel has proudly served the Federated Combien and it's people since it's establishment as the voice of freedom in 2005.

ELGIN, STATE OF TIKINOV – In rail stations and staging areas outside the State capital of Eglin, thousands of soldiers assemble. The grinding and creaking of treads, the thundering of helicopters, and the steady beating boots of marching troops. Across the state of Tikinov, soldiers and personnel of the 11th Order prepare for a month long exercise, during which they plan on operating alongside their counterparts from Andor and Thonador.

Soldiers of the 225th Motorized Battlegroup on exercise.

As nations across the region deal with the outcomes of the Columbian Coup, the ongoing tensions between the Grand Alliance and Maracaibo, the Federated Combine finds itself dealing with the still ongoing situation with the Collectivist State of Vyzvha. Tensions between Jedoria and Vyzvha have been on and off since the establishment of the Federated Combine, and to this day relations between the two neighbors can best be described as cold. Border conflicts between the two states go back as far as the 1960s, and while open hostilities have not broken out since the Civil War, tensions have remained high on the border.

The normally isolationist, Zayetist state has been on poor terms with most of it's neighbors. In what news media and publications that come out of Vyzvha, frequent accusations are labeled against the Galenic Bloc. Poor relations in particular exist with Thonador and Andor, who are two other nations who have sent their forces to Jedoria to assist in mutual military exercises. All three states earlier this year renewed their mutual defense pacts, confirming their commitment to resisting possible Vyzhvan aggression.

The Defense Bureau confirmed in a press conference yesterday that the combined military exercises, known as EXERCISE WATCH DOG, will involve nearly 30,000 troops from Jedoria, Andor, and Thonador. The objective of the exercise is believed to simulate both a defensive and offensive operation through the Tung Shao Pass, which would likely serve as the principal meeting grounds between Jedorii and Vyzvhan forces during a potential conflict.

While the People's Mobilization (the armed forces of the Collectivist State) are generally considered to be inferior in terms of quality and equipment to the armed forces of the Entente members, rumors of Vyzvha's large stockpile of chemical weapons have led to the involvement of chemical defense initiatives aimed at countering the potential involvements of poison gas and other deadly toxins. Gas Masks and chemical suits could be seen being distributed by units from all three involved countries.

It's believed that major maneuvers will begin next week involving main battle tanks and mechanize forces, supported by aircraft and artillery, to put on a major show of force and firepower to demonstrate the resolve of the Entente against Vyzvha.

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[Themiclesia]

Feb. 19th, 2018

Teriyaki Festival Sizzles up Kien-k'ang's History with Dayashina

Kien-k'ang • Denizens of the capital city wake up to the aroma of teriyaki today as the Teriyaki Society of Themiclesia (震旦の照り焼きの会) stages one of the most remarkable and sizeable public events seen in the city for decades. A grand total of 530 teriyaki restaurants are represented in the proceedings today, serving the iconic Dayashinese food on the Imperial Avenue's spacious and verde medians. Public attendance was estimated at over 400,000.

The revival of teriyaki has widely been interpreted as a symbol of the detente that Themiclesians have gradually accepted with Dayashina, after the latter invaded the former in 1936 with over 150,000 troops. Though teriyaki has been sold in Themiclesia by pioneering Dayashinese immigrants since the 1920s, it has never been so diplomatically important during the 1940s and 50s, as visible proof that the island nation's had a side that was not associated with the carnage at the front.

"It was quite difficult for us," Mako Aramashi recounted when she was confronted with the news that her native country has invaded the adoptive one, "there was a lot hanging in the air, whether we would be targets for reprisals due to the actions of Dayashina. There were even some that feared for their lives and fled back to Dayashina."

However, with much-admired courage, the few teriyaki restaurants in Kien-k'ang continued to operate, and the government never enacted any policies against persons of Dayashinese origin, unlike several other countries in Septentrion. According to Mako, the civil society of Themiclesia also demonstrated the same commendable restraint, and nobody was singled out for being ethnically Dayashinese.

"It's truly a wonderful place to be. Not many countries can remain tolerant of individuals associated with their enemy," Fuhito Ohohara relayed.

But the worst came when the Dayashinese troops were physically attacking the walls of Kien-k'ang, and many immigrants living in the city were forced to a hard decision.

"There came a point where someone suggested—I will give no names—that we should just go to defect to the invading force, given how the Themiclesian army has been largely unable to stop the invasion. The city walls were not that tall and could easily be scaled." Ohohara told the Correspondent, "And I will not shy away from saying that my family did consider defecting, until when our Themiclesian neighbours told us that it was time to evacuate to the west. That was when we decided that this was a dependable country that we can stick with, through thick and thin."

The other side of the story, that of the Themiclesians who lived with Dayashinese immigrants, is also one of contradictions. Sek Rjiehi, a teenager when Kien-k'ang was under atttack, apparently was quite dissatisfied with the presence of thousands of Dayashinese people in the city.

"Like many students, I was inclined to view Dayashinese people suspiciously," Sek told this paper. "However, our teacher used this precise situation as an example of the quality of empathy, which features prominently in the philosophical works that we studied in high school. None of us had any intention or ability to harm them, at any rate."

But Mra K'en viewed the situation differently. Now 90, he was a young civil servant in the Department of the Palace Hall (殿中監) during the war. "It is utterly idiotic to suggest that holding a pogrom on Dayashinese immigrants would have been in our interest," he said. "For one, it would only anger the invading troops and possibly inspire them to attempt more daring tactics. And if these people liked Dayashina so much, they wouldn't have immigrated here, would they? If they really supported the Dayashinese invasion, they would have enlisted in the Dayashinese army. This much was plainly obvious during 1941 and 1942. Even the thought of it—teriyaki sellers as spies or saboteurs—was an insult to any rational mind."

As early Dayashinese immigrants were predominantly teriyaki restauranteurs, their experience may represent that of those in other trades. After the war, ever more Dayashinese immigrants arrived. The existing community in Kien-k'ang organized many essential services for these new settlers, in an age when there were no schools for adults learning Shinasthana. Without them, post-war immigrants may have been utterly lost.

"Initially we were skeptical about immigrating to Themiclesia, for two reasons. First of course is whether the country was in shape to accept immigrants in 1947, and then if the locals would accept us. I think history has proven those doubts unnecessary." Shimaya wrote to us.

"Politically, repressing of Dayashinese people during the war would appear weak and insecure," Prof. An of the Pondside University analyzed for us. "Repressing them after the war would be vindictive. We should recall for ourselves that the government did accuse the Dayashinese emperor of being just that—vindictive, given his actions in Maracaibo. Individuals espousing these two attributes generally are frowned upon in Themiclesia's pre-war political class. Most of the public was not concerned with Dayashinese people on an individual level, which may explain the general lack of hostility between the two groups in Kien-k'ang."

However, this is not to say that no Themiclesian ever felt negatively towards the Dayashinese diaspora. "My extended family lost over 12 people to engagements with the Mengheans and Dayashinese, so I think it's understandable that my parents were against our buying goods and services from Dayashinese people. But they were also careful not to display this in an ostentatious way; that is, they forbade us from talking negatively about Dayashina or doing anything against Dayashinese people. Eventually, I confronted my family that not buying Dayashinese goods still was a form of reprisal, as its effects could be felt by the seller. My father could not answer, but the next year when we set out supplications at the graves, he pointed to the tumuli and asked me to think how can he see these graves, remembering the people in them, and not think poorly of the Dayashinese. Yet he also remarked that making this emotion public would be equally reprehensible and shameful, as it indicated he was too petty to look past the war. He died in 1978 with these mixed feelings in his heart. Though he never refused to eat at a Dayashinse restaurant, he would simply order and give the food to me."

Lak, who was at the Teriyaki Festival today, revealed these things to us in a lengthy account that he has published last year, titled Bitter Enemies. Like the memories that Themiclesians may feel towards the people, the food served today was enjoyable and culinary success, but there is ever a slight tinge of bitterness on the burnt bits and the smoke.

Just as about we were to finish our report on this event, news has reached us that Dayashina has staged a grand military parade today, displaying much of its military might and the prominence of its forces. The Prime Minister of Dayashina, Noru, was at the parade today, delivering a rousing speech. When confronted about this, the teriyaki sellers were quite apt to refrain from commenting.

"That really has nothing to do with us," one replied, "I don't see any connection."

The Prime Minister of this country, showing up briefly during the afternoon, was also put to this question. "There's nothing behind it," he told this paper, "I have been assured by my counterparts in the Grand Alliance. I can say with good confidence there is nothing to it," referencing the Dayashinese habit of staging such a parade to honour its war dead during the Pan-Septentrion War, the same conflict in which the teriyaki sellers today or their fore-bearers were forced to make a difficult choice about their allegiance. "I've learned that my counterpart in Tol Galen has announced a visit to Dayashina over the gathering clouds in the Allied Nations of Maracaibo. I have not received word from either of them about what we're expected to do, but I'm sure if there is anything, we'll be informed in the first instance, and this government will notify the public in due time. And I'm certainly not looking forward to there being anything."

Pressed further, Mako expressed her rather conserved opinion about the parade. "In whatever way we can, we all try to remember what our dearest has done for us, and particularly, in our defence. It's the same here and there. I don't think there's any reasons to be suspicious about it. I don't follow politics very closely."

[Minilov]

Strike on Maljubav public transport on Monday

MALJUBAV, Minilov — The socialist trades union MSU and the orthodox trades union MOTU are to stage the action against they describe as “wastage of tax-payers’ money” and “a negative climate been management and employees” in MITC’s Field Support Department.

The unions say that the Director of the Field Support Department has introduced a lot of expensive changes since his appointment in 2013 and “And now after 4 years he wants to start all over again”.

However, the liberal trade union MLDU won’t be joining the action that it describes as “being motived by self-interest”.

MLDU says that while it recognises that the “dysfunctions” in the field support department need to be resolved, the other two unions are focusing on just one aspect and aren’t making efforts to solve all the issues that beset the service.

In a statement released on Friday evening, MLDU wrote that "Next Monday’s strike is, in reality, a form of manipulation aimed getting rid of the Head of Field Support and maintaining certain privileges enjoyed by certain union reps. It is irresponsible to take strike action in the individual interests of a few and against the common collective interest”.

[Vyzhva]

█ Ⰲ Ⱂ Ⰵ Ⱃ Ⰵ Ⰴ

People's Mobilisation Responds To Aggressors

Leonid Zayika
20/2/2018 - Melna, People's State of Vyzhva

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Photo Courtesy: Bohdan Lutsenko

FOLLOWING THE JEDORII announcement in which they stated that they would commence in unjustified military exercises togheter with the two Galenic puppet states of Andor and Thonador, the leadership of our nation immidiately began drawing up plans for large-scale military drills, equalling the size of those which will be conducted in Jedoria. A grand total of 70,000 soldiers will participate in the event, starting on Friday and lasting for nerly a week. The drills have the intent of showing those who oppose us that our People's Mobilisation, and the durability of Vyzhva, is a force to be reckoned with.

The drills will involve units from all three branches, but primarily units from the Ground Forces and the Aerial Forces. These will practice scenarios such as CRBN warfare, assymetrical warfare and rapid response towards a possible violation of Vyzhvan national sovereignity. The exercises will take place in eastern Vyzhva, an area characterised by its vast steppes, suitable for swift advances. The whole event will of course be observed by our grand leadership, so that they can witness the strength which we can display.

It was initially not us who wanted to take these sort of measures, but the aggressive principles of the Galenosphere and its Jedorii allies have left us with no choice. They claim it is a response to our "aggression", while we have merely spoken out in favour for our national sovereignity. We have been met by, when performing these self-defence tasks, international condemnations from both west and east. The sole reason why we are met by these aggressions from the rest of the world is that it lies within the spheres of interest of the greedy capitalists, who benefit from the resulting geopolitical friction in Vinya.

Of course, none of this, from the size of the military and to the current condition of our national economy, could have been achieved without the able-bodied leadership and guidance of our directorial Party, which assures safety and enlightenment to all. May Vyzhva stay forever prosperous and free from alien interference. Vitayu! █

Approved By The Ministry of Domestic Information

[Themiclesia]

Jun. 11th, 1970

Nuclear Politics Spark Controversy

Kien-k'ang • The Liberal Vice P.M. openly asked the Leader of the Opposition, Mr Liak, of the Progressive Democratic Party, when was he planning to reveal his plans to bring the "nuclear option" to Themiclesia, in the Court of Meridian Correspondence, a member of that House told this paper.

Allegedly, Mr Liak was completely speechless when he was suddenly confronted with this question, when he was speaking about agriculture in the northeast. He said nothing, shaking his head.

"According to reliable foreign and domestic sources, supporters of the Opposition have been conferring with some nuclear powers in Casaterra over the possibility of introducing nuclear weapons to this country," Mr Liak later said when it was his turn to address the Opposition, "would such a serious proposition not merit some open discussion before the Opposition makes it part of their unalterable platform for the upcoming election? Or does the Opposition take it that their victory is certain, and they can begin negotiations as a government party that has the mandate from the public at this very moment?"

There was a spell of silence when this statement was heard in the House. Uncharacteristically, neither leader of the Opposition coalition directly addressed the Vice P.M.'s statements.

"This is very strange," Prof. Srjan of the Pondside University told us, "in the field of politics, I have never seen anything like this before. If this was a slanderous accusation, the Opposition should have revealed it for what it is, but they have not done that. It is not a difficult accusation to refute."

On the other hand, the suggestion that the Opposition may have a surprise in store is also unlikely.

"I don't think there is anything behind the Government's accusation," wrote Mrs. Ljang in her column in this paper, "there is very little reason why a nuclear power would be negotiating with an opposition party about the proliferation of arms. The real question is why the Opposition is not reacting to it. The longer they do not react to it, the more it will seem that the government's accusation is true."

[Minilov]

Get your thermals out, it’s going to get even colder

The cold snap is not over yet by a long chalk. Over the next few days, temperatures are set to fall yet further. Today will be mainly sunny, but colder than in recent days. Top temperatures won’t get above -4°C in the north of Nasjeveru Province and +1°C in the Domora Province. The Minilovan Metrological Institute (MMI) forecasts a clear night with minimum temperatures of -5°C in the south of the country and -12°C in the north.

Tuesday will start off sunny, but will gradually cloud over as the day goes on. A few flurries of snow can’t be ruled out in the Nasjeveru Province. Temperatures in Minilov will hardly get above freezing, while in Domora Province the area south of the Rivers Brava and Horva can expect maximum temperatures of between -1°C and -6°C.

The moderate to strong north-easterly wind with speeds reaching 50 km/h will serve to make the temperatures feel even colder. Weather code orange will be in force on Tuesday in the whole country.

The warning is issued when the temperature will be between -5°C and -1°C for at least 3 consecutive days. The MMI advises taking measures to protect people, animals and plants against the cold and to ensure that water pipes and taps don’t freeze.

On Wednesday too we can expect sunny spells with scattered snow showers. During the day temperatures in Minilov and the north of Domora won’t get above freezing. In Nasjeveru the maximum temperatures will be between -1°C and -4°C.

From Thursday it will become sunnier, but temperatures will remain below freezing in the whole country.

On Friday there will be clouds. However, it is expected to remain dry with temperatures remaining below freezing with a cold east to north-easterly wind.

Snow is forecast during the weekend.

[Minilov]

Grounded flights leave passengers furious at Mlaz

Mlaz Airways has responded to the anger and frustration voiced by countless passengers unable to fly out of Maljubav International Airport due to the adverse weather. Mlaz Airways' CEO Wencze Lomisi: "We apologise to our customers who were unable to depart as planned due to severe winter weather."

"We were the victim of the weather that meant flights couldn't take off or land. It wasn't only the case in Maljubav, but in other countries too: from Vlatkestad to Pillowgrad and even at Turov Capital Airport in Letnev. It meant that 8,400 passengers bombarded us with requests to sort their problem."

The Minilovan flag carrier denies airport counters were operating at half power: "We called everybody into work."

The airline confirms that workers went home at 11 PM: "People work in shifts and it was the end of their shift. Some had to be back in position at 5 AM."

"We booked 200 hotel rooms for customers. We've assured customers who booked a room themselves that we will reimburse them. We provided snacks and drinks for passengers who preferred to stay at the airport. We have now managed to rebook all customers."

Mlaz Airways is today operating a normal schedule.

[Minilov]

Too many jobseekers can't use a computer

It's been revealed that over 15.000 Minilovan job seekers are unable to use a computer. The skills shortage came to light as the national employment agency drew up a digital portrait of jobseekers.

Lawmaker Jesti Polje, who requested the data from economy minister Serž Pobuna: "The digital portrait reveals there's still a lot of work to be done among the low-skilled, older unemployed and people with language difficulties. Take, for example, being able to be reached by email: 66% of the low-skilled can be reached by email, 63% of over-55's and only 58% of people with language difficulties. These figures are below average."

Being unable to work on a computer is usually the cause of being unable to provide an email where you can be reached. The figures show that 7% of unemployed Minilovans are unable to use a computer.

Jesti Polje: "It's in their interest and in the general interest that they receive retraining as soon as possible!”

[Nova Sylva]

TUROV VOWS TO HIRE OS, WA VETERANS

TUROV— The FSR government has announced it would hire 10,000 military veterans from the Organized States and other WA countries, sources confirmed today.

“Joining our veteran hiring program is as simple as scanning both sides of your military identification card, filling out some paperwork, and taking a short exam,” said Sergei Lavrov, the FSR’s foreign minister.

The hiring initiative follows other recent pushes to hire veterans by American companies, such as Starbucks and Black Rifle Coffee Co., in addition to previous pledges from Waste Management and Walmart to directly recruit Marine Corps infantrymen for janitorial roles.

The program was set to begin last year but was delayed since Turov officials were busy closely monitoring the 2016 O.S. presidential election, which it did not interfere in at all.

Officials said that signing bonuses were being offered for those special skills that are desperately needed in Turov, such as Americans with top-secret security clearances or former NSA employees.

Former NSA contractor Eddard Snow took advantage of a similar pilot program offered in 2013.

“Applying was super easy, and I was hired within two weeks,” said Maj. Joshua McCreton, a former Marine intelligence officer. “I just had to verify my identity, then take a quick test with really easy questions like ‘what’s my mother’s maiden name,’ ‘the name of my first pet,’ and ‘what’s my favorite food.'”

He added: “After that I was able to work from home by helping out with their security and sharing the knowledge about how we can defeat [[REDACTED]].

Still, the program is not without its critics.
Richard Ledgett, former deputy director of the NSA, warned that veteran involvement in Russia could be dangerous to national security. However, a full report he was due to present at the Center for Strategic and International Studies was delayed indefinitely after he slipped on something in the shower, and then choked on rare plutonium only found in Siberia.

“Occupation is very important to me and my countries,” FSR Foreign Minister Lavrov said of the hiring program. “That is, veterans being allowed occupations in all job fields. Yes.”

[Minilov]

"Coldest day ever on 18 March"

Sunday was the coldest 18 March since records were first compiled in Minilov in 1921. Never before in recorded Minilovan history has the temperature stayed below zero for an entire day so late in the year.

MNTV weatherman Francuski Izšume is amazed: "For many hours the weather attempted to trash the zero degrees Celsius barrier but in vain. At some points, it seemed like the weather would succeed, but it didn't manage to fix it! It remained an icy day!"

Mr Izšume searches for a reason to explain why a whole day of freezing temperatures occurred so late in the year: "An area of high pressure is squatting over the Nordic countries. Polar air is reaching us from the North East..."

Temperatures are set to edge higher in coming days. On Monday temperatures move a couple of degrees higher and soon 10°C will be in sight. Unfortunately, it will turn showery.

[Minilov]

How old are Minilov's fighter jets really?



MALJUBAV, Minilov — The age of Minilov's fleet of F-16 fighter jets is a hot issue with the socialist opposition MSP claiming that the crafts are not as old as the governing Liberal Democratic Party claims. The point is important because the younger the crafts are, the longer they can fly and the more their replacement can be delayed.

The first order for Organized States' F-16 Fighting Falcons dates from the mid-1970's when the Minilovan government decided to replace Starfighters F-104s and Sylvan Mirages. The first plane was delivered in 1979. Defence minister Pramaç Bunara (LDP) told MNTV viewers yesterday that the planes were “between 50 and 60 years old”. Later he clarified that the F-16s date from between 1982 and 1991.

The Korrespondent contacted the defence ministry and came up with the following breakdown: the craft first supplied are no longer in service. Of the 54 aircraft in service 11 date from 1982-83, 10 from 1984-85 and 33 from 1988-91. Defence experts point out that age is not everything. How the plane has been used, e.g. for exercises or in the theatre of war, can impact on its lifespan, as well as how often the crafts have been in the air.

[Roskian Federation]

Yugoslovenski Federal Times
Preliminary Jobs reports indicate unemployment rate of 15.4%; Experts calling a crisis


Unemployment lines unexpectantly have risen across the nation

Preliminary jobs alerts have shown unemployment rates jumping from 9.7% to 15.4%, according to the Office of National Economy, as released in a report Wednesday. Others involved in the report have cried that other significant issues are coming with the quarterly economic report due next week.

Economists have called this a "in progress" crisis, indicating that recent economic activity has dramatically decreased. Information regarding national Gross Domestic Product or inflation rate has not yet been released, though the KNE has indicated that it would release the information on time on April 8th.

This information comes after a the President-Elect of the Organized States of Columbia was deposed by the Columbian Marine Corps in January of last year. THough short term economic analysts think this was related to a mass removal of military reservists, some of whom my have only used the monthly stipend as their only income. Additionally, emergency spending earlier last year may have spent resources needed later in the year, as Yugoslovenski attempted to mobilize military forces in January during the Presidential Coup. This may have culminated in dried up subsidies, causing certain businesses to falter earlier this year.

The President nor Parliament have released any statements about the reports.


This is a breaking news story. We will update this as more information becomes available.

[Minilov]

85 detained in feminist demonstration

KADEMIJA, Minilov — 85 people were detained by police on Saturday night during an unauthorised “Reclaim the night” demonstration feminists in the centre of Kademija. The "Reclaim the night" demonstration was unauthorised and when the demonstration started what was to have been a march through the centre of Kademija the police stepped in. The protesters were surrounded and detained.

This was the 5th time that reclaim the night had organised a demonstration in Kademija. Last year’s demonstration by the group ended with clashes with the police. With this in mind, the city authorities didn’t grant permission for this year’s march.

The demonstrators gathered on the Sljunčana Avenu in the centre of Kademija. They were surrounded and detained in the nearby Sveti Katarina Street, Kademija police spokesman told the Minilov Korrespondent.

"We called on them to end their action and when they failed to do so we detained the group that was made up of 85 people”.

“They we released as soon as we could ensure that public order had been restored. By 1am everyone had been released”.

[Minilov]

Minilov remembers fallen soldiers

A ceremony was held at the Congress Column in Minilov on Saturday to remember the 252 Minilovan soldiers that have been killed while carrying out their military duty in the 1989 War of Independence. The Congress Column is home the tomb of the Unknown Soldier and is traditionally the location of national military remembrance ceremonies.

Among those in attendance were the Defence Minister Pramaç Bunara (Liberal Democratic Party) and the former Defence Minister Andrej Tafleuh (Minilovan Socialist Party).

The ceremony took place 29 years to the day since ten Minilovan Para Commandos were killed in the conflict. In 1998 it was decided that 7 April should become Veterans’ Day as a mark of respect to those killed.

[Minilov]

Minilovan army under fire for plans to cater to homesick recruits

Minilov’s defence ministry is facing criticism for plans to allow recruits to sleep at home rather than in barracks during training to keep them from getting homesick, the Korrespondent reported Thursday.

The ministry is struggling with recruiting and retaining soldiers, and has lost nearly 4.000 recruits over the past decade, our newspaper is reporting. One in six soldiers reportedly complained of missing out on home life and hobbies. The ministry has said it is making efforts to ease the transition for recruits to the 28.000-strong army to tackle the issue.

“The army wants to include more free evenings where the recruit can leave the barracks,” Minilovan defence ministry spokesperson Mr Alesj Göran told the Korrespondent. “The youngsters are still expected at the gate on Sunday evening or at the latest Monday morning and are not allowed to go outside before Friday,” he said. The military is even considering scrapping the boarding requirement entirely so that “recruits who live near the military school or the barracks can go home in the evening,” according to Mr Göran.

Mr Danilo Lamas, a former paratrooper and the chair of a veterans organization, told the Korrespondent the army’s plans would create a “defence of nothing, an army that you cannot count on.” Mr Lamas added: “You do not go to a war zone with men who miss their mama.”

[Roskian Federation]

Yugoslovenski Federal Times
A night of terror in Zepce: Riots, Gunfire, and a Federally-Declared State of Emergency


Rioters hide behind a barricade of burning vehicles in Zepce, the Capital of Zetenski

Last Friday, the Federal government released a daunting first quarter figure: Unemployment had skyrocketed to 23.4%, and first quarter GDP had decreased by 5.9%, the largest single quarter gdp decrease since 1993. Government officials declared that a "economic crisis" was occuring, and has been in an emergency parliamentary meeting all week in order to solve the crisis. Police were given a warning last week that some extreme factions may begin protests and riots.

Police, however, were still unprepared for a protest of 500,000 in Zepce, which turned into riots when Federal Police from Pancevo were deployed to assist Zetenski Police. The City's worst nightmare became worse when at 1:21am, automatic fire opened up from the crowd of rioters, killing 19 police officers. Zepce declared a national crisis, the highest level state of emergency that any city or individual republic can declare. The mayor of zepce stirred outrage within the rioters more when it was revealed he appealed for military support - which the Federal Government denied.

Though only a small handful of individuals had weapons - all of whom were killed by retaliation from battered police forces - 316 people died overnight, the largest single night casualties since the Battle of Zepce in 1993. More liberal factions within the country have decried excessive police violence, when it was revealed that at the first sign of fire from rioters, police fired indiscriminately with live ammunition.

Zepce National Memorial Hospital, the only major hospital to survive the war, declared a medical crisis when it was overloaded with more than 1,000 wounded people. Mayor Lovro Draženka Zorić once again appealed for military support at 3:26am, this time, the Federal Government granted the request, dictating that police should aim to move wounded to locations where the military can set up forward commands. Prime Minister Millic ordered limited military involvement, declaring that the only role of military personnel were to evacuate wounded from the city.

Rioters moved close to the Zepce Capitol, where they faced heavy fire from police using rubber bullets. The use of tear gas in this area was so extensive that its temporarily blocked to the public for cleaning.

The nearby GA garrison was placed on lockdown, and surrounded by Yugoslovenski Military forces, in order to provide security for the base.

The Federal Government declared a Federal State of Emergency, the highest level emergency in the nation. This authorizes the use of military force, and places the city directly under Federal control.

More on this story as the situation de-escalates.

[Minilov]

Another Maljubav tunnel to be closed: how to avoid the jams?

The infrastructure works on the Pelido Tunnel are set to start on Labour Day, Tuesday 1 May. The tunnel is one of the main traffic arteries in Maljubav, and the works are bound to trigger traffic jams, especially in summer. The tunnel receives some 80,000 vehicles each day.

Built in the early 80ies, the tunnel opened in 1986. It is the main link to the centre for motorists coming from Sjevernate and the western side of Maljubav (the A1 Motorway and the Big Lake Road). Boasting a length of 2,534 metres, it's among Minilov's longest tunnels.

The renovation of the tunnel starts on 1 May. During the school year, the works will mostly take place during the night (between 10PM and 6AM) but the tunnel will be permanently closed in July and August in the next three summers.

It will take over 3 years to finish the renovation. "We opted for a compromise. It will take 39 months, but we didn't want to make life too hard for motorists, keeping it open during the day", explains Transport Minister Dobravoda Tolleb. "We wanted to keep Maljubav accessible during the works."

Tolleb added there was no other option than to renovate: "This was really necessary to guarantee safety standards."

Tolleb also warned motorists to take into account the new situation, especially in summer. "Try to come to the capital by public transport or by bicycle." To help commuters, the Maljubav public transport company MTS and Minilov Rail will boost tram, bus, metro and train services. "If you have no other option than the car, you will need to follow the diversions, or try carpooling."

[Themiclesia]

Apr. 28th, 2018

Allegedly, the earliest known animal fossil, dating to c. 800 million years ago

The First Animal Ever Was Themiclesian

Kien-k'ang—The Department of Paleontology of the University of Nehm-srian, one of the leading authorities in the nation in its field, has published a paper claiming to have found the earliest fossils resembling animal life—a sponge—in the northern mountain ranges, whose formation has been estimated at over 2 billion years ago.

"We are very excited about this find and to hear responses from the world's researchers on ancient life," the Prof. Ghiuang, under whose name the article was published, declared, "if confirmed, this pushes back the upper limit of animal life on Septentrion by more than 80 million years, a pivotal period of geological time that holds the answers to many puzzles."

Sponges are amongst the most primitive members of the animal kingdom; there is little dispute that their divergence from the last common ancestor of all animals must have happened a very, very long time ago. Paleontologists know this because animals that are structurally similar tend to have diverged more recently, and given the enormous discrepancies between a sponge, often mistaken for a plant, and a human being, speciated as late as only 200,000 years ago, researchers at the University are reasonably sure that the specimen before them is closing in on the very source of all animal life.

"Given its primitive structure, small size, and non-existent tissue-formation, this fossil make a powerful argument in favour of the last common ancestor of animals being a sponge-like creature, which in all fairness is not surprising. Anatomically, sponges are the simplest creatures of the animal kingdom, and this sponge before us is promordial even in sponge terms."

Paleontoligsts have theorized that the first animals developed from co-dependent unicellular protists that grew into colonies that, gradually, became more tightly bound to each other and started to reproduce as a single entity, and that is defined as the moment when the first animal was born. "Interdependence is not enough to establish individuality, though if an organism produces complete offsprings of its own species, then at that point it's pretty safe to assume it is an individual for all intents and purposes," said the Prof. Ghiuang.

The organism found was not macroscopic in a most obvious manner; only 1 mm at most in any dimension, it was hardly visible to the naked eye, and without knowing exactly what they were searching for, the fossil diggers could easily have missed or destroyed it. Yet it was multicellular, and its cells did seem to play different roles depending on their position on the sponge, or so some say.

"Whenever a paper like this is published, the media always follow it up with click-baity articles that distort or exaggerate the actual argument and evidence presented in the paper itself," grumbled this agency's resident biology editor, a Dr. Mraw, quoting a close associate who was trained in this field. "There is a lot of research to be done on a very small and vanishingly rare fossil, indeed, probably too small for any of the more detailed but invasive studies. If the fossil were larger, then bits of it can be sent to multiple labs, and if it were smaller, it would likely have been more prolific. It is neither large nor abundant, and that not only poses a challenge to the academic community but also the integrity of the conclusions derived from it. A sample size of one is simply not as good as several."

"I am by no means doubting the researchers responsible for this extraordinary find," he added with a frown, "but I patiently await to see more evidence either way before I opine."

[Minilov]

Street protest against new fighter jets

"15 billion for 34 fighter jets? Not with my tax money!"

A couple of hundred people demonstrated against the government's plans to buy 34 expensive fighter jets, to replace the old F-16 aircraft. Protesters claim the purchase is just too expensive, and ask for a public debate on the issue.

The umbrella organisation "No fighter jets" (which represents over a hundred players such as Greenpeace Minilov, and NGO's like Oxfam) organised a protest action on the Republika plaza in Maljubav.

Demonstrators say a dangerous game is being played with an immense sum of tax money. "15 billion for 34 fighter jets? Not with my tax money", one of the banners said. They demand a broad debate within society about the issue. Among the protesters was the socialist MSP lawmaker Bodež Mlinar, who is on the opposition benches. t

Earlier today, the Conservative Orthodox leader Waldek Potok said the decision to replace the F-16 jets (instead of giving them an update to extend their lifespan) was taken over a year ago. The procedure to purchase new jets is going on now, and should be completed first. "Then we can see whether all the demands are being met", he said.

Opponents say that the F35 fighter jets are still having teething troubles, and that it would be wiser to first extend the lifespan of the F-16 jets, which would be relatively cheap and give the government more time.

[Vyzhva]

█ Ⰲ Ⱂ Ⰵ Ⱃ Ⰵ Ⰴ

Celebrating The 77th Anniversary of The Revolution!

Kamyar Voloshyn
30/4/2018 - Melna, Vyzhvan Collectivist State

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Photo Courtesy: Bohdan Lutsenko

ON THIS DAY, 77 years ago, our Assembly For The Zayetist-Collectivist Offensive liberated Melna from the race traitors that were the Loyalist cockroaches. Led by our formerly Supreme Leader, Father of Modern Vyzhva, Viktor Sokolov, our forces triumphed over those who had led our Vyzhvan motherland down a track of decline for centuries. It is on this day that we remember the heroic sacrifices that were made by those who hoped and succeded to liberate the Vyzhvan people from the chains of the internationalist Loyalists.

In true honour of those who died, a grand military parade will be arranged in Melna to display our current military strength and to show those hostile to our Vyzhvan motherland that our People's Mobilisation is a force to be reckoned with. The military parade will be held in the afternoon and is estimated to carry on into the evening, during which the parade will be finished off with an impressive presentation of fireworks. Additionally our great leader, Vazyl Ruban, will hold a speech celebrating the victory of the visionaries of Zayetism-Collectivism and their bravery.

May our heroic actions continue far off into the future, and may we be remembered for our grand and righteous deeds. May Vyzhva stay eternally prosperous and sovereign. May our glorious and paramount eader, Vazyl Ruban, grant us happiness and freedom from those who seek to destroy us and our patriotism to our shared Motherland. May our strength be widely known among those who respect and fear us. Vitayu! █

Approved By The Ministry of Domestic Information