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[DRAFT] Scientific Stupidity

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Techolandia
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[DRAFT] Scientific Stupidity

Postby Techolandia » Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:44 pm

Yesterday, a prominent news outlet accidentally misreported foreign dictator @@RANDOMNAME@@'s sarin gas attack on @@HIS@@ people as a health initiative to provide his citizens with the amino acid serin. As this merely joins a trend of lack of scientific knowledge on the part of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, something must be done. Concerned citizens have entered your office to make competing claims on what the proper course of action is.
  1. "This ignorance of basic scientific facts cannot continue," declares college biology professor @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was grading science tests while waiting to speak. "Serin," putting the emphasis on the second syllable, "isn't even an amino acid; they obviously misspelled serine! Appoint me as @@NAME@@'s new Minister of Education, and I will ensure that scientific knowledge is put first! And while we're at it, we might as well get read of teaching fine arts and other things of no practical importance."
    (decreases culture, increases scientific advancement)
    @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ need four PhDs each in chemistry and biology in order to graduate high school.
  2. "That's not going to solve anything," claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, science teacher at @@CAPITAL@@'s First School for those with ADHD. "The curriculum is perfectly good, but the problem is that students don't pay attention to the teachers. Make me your new education minister, and students will focus on the teacher for every single second of classtime."
    Clown costumes are the new teachers' uniforms.
  3. "Look, I'm for basic scientific knowledge as much as the next guy, I guess," says four-star general who failed @@HIS@@ twelfth-grade science final @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is now looking over maps of the dictator's compound, "but what's more important is bringing this dictator to justice. I propose a full-out strike designed to end his cruel regime once and for all, complete with trial in an international court for @@HIS@@ crimes against @@HIS@@ people. Military first, science second. No wait, actually, we should probably improve our infrastructure. So science third. No wait, I forgot about our economy. Science eventually, how about that?"
    (decreases scientific advancement and intelligence, increases defense and primitiveness)
    The scientists of @@NAME@@'s military are struggling to fuel military transport vehicles without knowing what iso-octane is.
Last edited by Techolandia on Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:53 pm

608, 843 and 855 are pretty much around forcing public health medicine to be evidence-based. We probably don't need another issue of this sort.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Techolandia
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[DRAFT] A Terminal Typo

Postby Techolandia » Sun Feb 11, 2018 4:00 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:608, 843 and 855 are pretty much around forcing public health medicine to be evidence-based. We probably don't need another issue of this sort.
Alright; how about one about technology instead?

A Terminal Typo (not available to nations that have outlawed electronics in favor of a simpler era) (By the way, this issue portrays the position of Minister of Administration and being equivalent to Head of State, which seems reasonable to me.)

A few days ago, your ten-year-old son, while trying to reach the next level on his touch-typing course, accidentally downloaded a malicious virus onto all of the computers in @@NAME@@'s Ministry of Administration by hitting the wrong hotkey. Now that your typist, the only person in the government who knows how to deal with this, has finally finished removing the harmful software, the question remains: How should we prevent this from ever happening again?

0. Error: Could not find issue: A Terminal Tupo. Error name: Issue does not exist. Search time elapsed: 0.14 seconds. Search query: Open file nationstates/issues?enstated_issues/A_Terminal_Tupo.exe.
(Accepting this option is treated as dismissing this issue except for the fact that it counts as finding an easter egg and has effect text.)
Effect: Following new legislation in COUNTRY NOT FOUND, 01100001001000000111010001100101011100100110110101101001011011100110000101101100001000000111010001111001011100000110111100101110

1. "This is unaccpetable!" proclaims the Deputy Minister of Administration while giving your son a harsh reprimand. "Just think: Our ministry. "We can not let this continue! We must place a ban on everyone under the age of 18 from accessing computers of any sort, lest the next mistake bring down the entire government next time."
Effect: Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, parents secretly teach their 16-year-olds how to turn a computer on and off.

2. "That would solve nothing!" exclaims your Minister of Common Sense. "If we don't even give those younger than 18 typing lessons, then when @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are finally allowed to use computers, they'll make the exact same mistakes, so you're only delaying the problem! Do we even have an anti-virus software?" @@HE@@ looks at your typist, who shakes @@HIS@@ head. "Exactly! Fix that, @@LEADER@@. That's your solution."
Effect: Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, ministries at vying for which one gets anti-virus software first.

3. "That would work, eventually," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of the Blackacre-based company Paskerspy Lab, an anti-virus compnay, "but does anyone in your government besides your typist even know how to install an anti-virus?" Everyone else looks at the ground, not wanting to admit that the answer is no. "Exactly. The professional spi—sorry—software experts can be finished with all government computers within a week. We can even work on private computers if you want."
Effect: Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, all other malware has been replaced with Blackacrian spyware.

4. "Those spying Blackacrians are only part of the problem!" shouts Crazy Boris, handing you an intelligence memo that he wrote that, for once, has been endorsed by six of your top ten intelligence officers, with the other four claiming that it underestimates the extent of Blackacre's cyberattacks. "According to this memo, 80% of the money that @@NAME@@ loses to randomware goes to Blackacre. We need to try them in international court for this and Blackacre's other crimes, like the sinking of the @@NAMEINITIALS@@S Blitzherald." No one else supports him on his claim about @@NAME@@'s naval ship. "And, of course, we also need to prosecute individual hackers. Now, if you excuse me, I''m still trying to convince at least one person besides me that Ussa Maddox tried to poison your food."
Effect: Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ has started a crackdown on @@NAME@@'s cyber criminals.

5. "Why bother with these newfangled machines at all?" asks an Ennish man who has parked his horse-and-buggy on the front lawn of your office. "They cause so much trouble, and not just nasty viruses. Allow us to show you and your people the simpler way of life. You'll have to get rid of all electrical appliances and such, but we've been living for centuries without 'em. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to leave now in order to get to my village by sunset."
Effect: Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, the Ennish are showing @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ the benefits of the simple life.

6. Hi, @@LEADER@@, I'm your typist giving you my own opinion. Like it or not, I'm the most technologically literate person in @@NAME@@'s whole government. In total, I've had to remove over 100 viruses from government computers, and worst of all, I'm not paid for it. Not only do viruses regularly ravage your computers, but our citizens and infrastructure are also extremely vulnerable to cyberattack. How about you start a Subministry of Technology as part of the Ministry of Administration, put me in charge of it, pay me appropriately, and I'll appoint people who can help me fix this problem. How does 750 initial staffers sound? Okay, future boss?
Effect: Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, 30% of government funds go to the Subministry of Technology. (This shows up under administration.)

7. "i tried to take popup off" types your son, who still can't use the letters on the bottom row of the keyboard, including the comma, period, and shift key. "i did't do it purposely i was tryig to get to type so i would't do this error please let i to the" he paused then takes his hands out of natural touch-typing position and types all of the letters in the next two words with his right index finger, "computer again."
Effect: Children regularly download malware onto their parents' computers by accident.[/list]



The list is supposed to start at zero. (Edit: I fixed that.)
Last edited by Techolandia on Sat Feb 24, 2018 2:41 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Altmer Dominion
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Postby Altmer Dominion » Sun Feb 11, 2018 5:28 pm

This looks like a cross between issues #57 and #800. For future reference, if you're completely changing ideas (like here) you ought to create a new topic. You might get more eyeballs (and thus, critiques) from people who haven't already been following this specific thread.

That said, to encourage you to keep trying, here's some general problems I noticed in your draft. Even if a specific issue idea doesn't work out, there's no harm in improving your writing techniques for the next time!

Critiques noted in green.
Techolandia wrote:By the way, this issue portrays the position of Minister of Administration and being equivalent to Head of State, which seems reasonable to me.

A lot of issues play around with specific positions within a @@LEADER@@'s cabinet, but it may be a player autonomy issue to publicly declare the administrative position of a @@LEADER@@. I'm not certain of this, though. There are issues that imply a sense of nobility and/or royalty, but from what I've seen there doesn't seem to be any explicit references to the player such as 'King' or 'President'. This may veer close to that same line. The way this specific issue employs the concept doesn't seem particularly egregious, but you should get in the habit of never making wide assumptions about the player's position. It's just a matter of habit.

Techolandia wrote: A few days ago, while your ten-year-old son, who had just finished W and O on his touch-typing course, was trying to access the lessons for E and I, an intrusive pop-up add popped up, linking to downloadable malware. While watching his right index finger to make sure he put it on the control key, he attempted to touch-type W with his left ring finger, using the control-W hotkey to close the window, but he accidentally hit control-E instead, downloading a malicious virus onto all of the computers in @@NAME@@'s Ministry of Administration. Now that your typist, the only person in the government who knows how to deal with this, has finally finished removing the harmful software, the question remains: How should we prevent this from ever happening again?

Holy Paragraph, Batman! This is overly heavy on the narrative. You're...very specific with the description of how the son erred. You don't need to paint a watercolor for the reader. In addition, as I learned during drafting a recently-submitted issue, there's a precedent change that views @@LEADER@@ having a son/daughter as a player autonomy sin. If you look through the list of active issues (which, for writing purposes, everyone should) you may find references to children here or there, but those ones are currently slated for revision. Going forward, authors should never assume the player has a child.


Error: Could not find issue: A Terminal Tupo. Error name: Issue does not exist. Search time elapsed: 0.14 seconds. Search query: Open file nationstates/issues?enstated_issues/A_Terminal_Tupo.exe.
(Accepting this option is treated as dismissing this issue except for the fact that it counts as finding an easter egg and has effect text.)
Effect: Following new legislation in COUNTRY NOT FOUND, 01100001001000000111010001100101011100100110110101101001011011100110000101101100001000000111010001111001011100000110111100101110
I don't mean to sound rude, but this option seems lazy. In addition to the fourth wall break (which YMMV based on how one is written), I personally don't think that rewarding a dismissal option with an easter egg badge should be established as precedent. Even most easter egg issues do something. I also, to be perfectly frank, don't want a binary string spamming the national happenings page. Insult to injury, the meaning of this binary just restates the title!

Hi, @@LEADER@@, I'm your typist giving you my own opinion. Never, ever do this. Like it or not, I'm the most technologically literate person in @@NAME@@'s whole government. In total, I've had to remove over 100 viruses from government computers, and worst of all, I'm not paid for it. Not only do viruses regularly ravage your computers, but our citizens and infrastructure are also extremely vulnerable to cyberattack. How about you start a Subministry of Technology as part of the Ministry of Administration, put me in charge of it, pay me appropriately, and I'll appoint people who can help me fix this problem. How does 750 initial staffers sound? Okay, future boss?
If the issue involves someone speaking to you, use the standard rules of grammar involving dialogue. The way this is formatted seems like, oddly enough, another 4th wall break. I don’t know if this was intentional or not (since you used the conventional formatting in other options), but make sure to be careful of this.


Also, a note for all your effect lines. You have a habit of including:
Following new legislation in @@NAME@@

In your effect lines. It’s unwieldy for those trying to read your effects, not to mention that part shows up on your national happenings page all the time anyways.



Look, you seem enthusiastic. Heck, you drafted two distinct issues within a day. That's the reason I nit-picked the above draft. Keep working on some formatting fundamentals, but most importantly: keep writing.
Last edited by Altmer Dominion on Sun Feb 11, 2018 5:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Techolandia
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Postby Techolandia » Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:21 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:608, 843 and 855 are pretty much around forcing public health medicine to be evidence-based. We probably don't need another issue of this sort.
608 and 843 are simply about the debate between scientific and alternative medicine, without addressing the knowledge aspect. Each contains three options in this order: a doctor emphasizing traditional medicine; a practitioner of alternative medicine insisting that her method is valid; and a compromise between the two. The only issue of the three that my issue could conceivably be duplicating is option three of issue 855 (By the way, shouldn't the press secretary be passing around a nutritional food pyramid, not a get well soon card?), but even that approaches the knowledge aspect from a medical trajectory (The secretary is trying to education people to prevent vitamin deficiencies.) instead of my issue, which is about more general scientific knowledge for the sake of preventing dumb typos and such. Also, the lead of 855 is similar to the lead of the other two issues that you mentioned; all three describe a non-scientifically-backed treatment (for bacterial infection, cancer, or obesity) causing/exacerbating/allowing to exacerbate medical problems in those who use them. Meanwhile, my proposed issue makes no allusion or reference to medical events but instead is about a news reporter, not a dietitian, who misspelled sarin, thought it was an amino acid, and that created an inaccurate news story, not giving a patient an inaccurate prescription, that a bunch of people read.

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Techolandia
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Postby Techolandia » Sun Feb 11, 2018 7:05 pm

Altmer Dominion wrote:This looks like a cross between issues #57 and #800.
I don't think that this is a duplicate of 57, as 57 says nothing about how the virus was installed. The closest thing is in option one, when the police chief claims that child hackers are to blame, but it seems like that's just based on a bias against children. Also, he implies that they did it intentionally, which contradicts my issue's lead. However, now that I'm going through the issues already there, my proposed issue is pretty similar to issue 800.
Altmer Dominion wrote:For future reference, if you're completely changing ideas (like here) you ought to create a new topic. You might get more eyeballs (and thus, critiques) from people who haven't already been following this specific thread.
The second issue was supposed to be a replacement for the first, addressing technological ignorance rather then scientific ignorance.
Altmer Dominion wrote:That said, to encourage you to keep trying, here's some general problems I noticed in your draft. Even if a specific issue idea doesn't work out, there's no harm in improving your writing techniques for the next time!

Critiques noted in green.
Techolandia wrote:By the way, this issue portrays the position of Minister of Administration and being equivalent to Head of State, which seems reasonable to me.

A lot of issues play around with specific positions within a @@LEADER@@'s cabinet, but it may be a player autonomy issue to publicly declare the administrative position of a @@LEADER@@. I'm not certain of this, though. There are issues that imply a sense of nobility and/or royalty, but from what I've seen there doesn't seem to be any explicit references to the player such as 'King' or 'President'. This may veer close to that same line. The way this specific issue employs the concept doesn't seem particularly egregious, but you should get in the habit of never making wide assumptions about the player's position. It's just a matter of habit.
It seemed perfectly reasonable to me because I figured that the Ministry of Administration's role is to administrate the other ministries (like a less intentionally bureaucratically sluggish and more serious version of the Minister in charge of Governmental Oversight from issue 490). Also, this is perfectly compatible with monarchies: Maybe the king/queen/monarch would appoint his/her oldest/most-trusted son/daughter/child as Minister of Administration/new king/queen/monarch, the second-oldest/second-most-trusted as Minister of Law and Order, third-oldest/third-most-trusted as Minister of Social Welfare, etc... or something.
Altmer Dominion wrote:
Techolandia wrote: A few days ago, while your ten-year-old son, who had just finished W and O on his touch-typing course, was trying to access the lessons for E and I, an intrusive pop-up add popped up, linking to downloadable malware. While watching his right index finger to make sure he put it on the control key, he attempted to touch-type W with his left ring finger, using the control-W hotkey to close the window, but he accidentally hit control-E instead, downloading a malicious virus onto all of the computers in @@NAME@@'s Ministry of Administration. Now that your typist, the only person in the government who knows how to deal with this, has finally finished removing the harmful software, the question remains: How should we prevent this from ever happening again?

Holy Paragraph, Batman! This is overly heavy on the narrative. You're...very specific with the description of how the son erred. You don't need to paint a watercolor for the reader. In addition, as I learned during drafting a recently-submitted issue, there's a precedent change that views @@LEADER@@ having a son/daughter as a player autonomy sin. If you look through the list of active issues (which, for writing purposes, everyone should) you may find references to children here or there, but those ones are currently slated for revision. Going forward, authors should never assume the player has a child.
I could replace it with nephew or first cousin once removed or something. Would that work? Also, I wanted to:
  • affirm that the child actually downloaded it accidentally, and didn't just claimto
  • have the irony of someone making a typo while trying to learn how to type
  • create a background for option 7
Altmer Dominion wrote:
Error: Could not find issue: A Terminal Tupo. Error name: Issue does not exist. Search time elapsed: 0.14 seconds. Search query: Open file nationstates/issues/enstated_issues/A_Terminal_Tupo.exe.
(Accepting this option is treated as dismissing this issue except for the fact that it counts as finding an easter egg and has effect text.)
Effect: Following new legislation in COUNTRY NOT FOUND, 01100001001000000111010001100101011100100110110101101001011011100110000101101100001000000111010001111001011100000110111100101110
I don't mean to sound rude, but this option seems lazy. In addition to the fourth wall break (which YMMV based on how one is written), I personally don't think that rewarding a dismissal option with an easter egg badge should be established as precedent. Even most easter egg issues do something. I also, to be perfectly frank, don't want a binary string spamming the national happenings page. Insult to injury, the meaning of this binary just restates the title!
I'm pretty sure that easter eggs are supposed to be funny. The NationStates coders could definitely find a way to make it show up on national history but not on the nation's overview page, and choosing it could decrease intellgence because apparently, whoever tried to call that file doesn't know how to type either. Or maybe the binary text could appear it the nation's history, but "option summaries are typed by @@LEADER@@'s ten-year-old nephew" (Now that would break the fourth wall.) would appear on the overview page. Also, would 01100010011110010111010001100101001000000110010101110010011100100110111101110010 or 01110100011110010111000001101111001000000110010001100101011101000110010101100011011101000110010101100100 be better binary text?
Altmer Dominion wrote:
Hi, @@LEADER@@, I'm your typist giving you my own opinion. Never, ever do this. Like it or not, I'm the most technologically literate person in @@NAME@@'s whole government. In total, I've had to remove over 100 viruses from government computers, and worst of all, I'm not paid for it. Not only do viruses regularly ravage your computers, but our citizens and infrastructure are also extremely vulnerable to cyberattack. How about you start a Subministry of Technology as part of the Ministry of Administration, put me in charge of it, pay me appropriately, and I'll appoint people who can help me fix this problem. How does 750 initial staffers sound? Okay, future boss?
If the issue involves someone speaking to you, use the standard rules of grammar involving dialogue. The way this is formatted seems like, oddly enough, another 4th wall break. I don’t know if this was intentional or not (since you used the conventional formatting in other options), but make sure to be careful of this.
I wanted to include the opinion of the person whom other options make out to be the only technologically literate person in @@NAME@@'s government to express his/her opinion, and I figured that in reality, the typist probably would just write his/her idea down since he/she would have to write it down even if he/she said it aloud to @@LEADER@@. Also, I don't see this as breaking the fourth wall because most world leaders would probably have a typist.
Altmer Dominion wrote:Also, a note for all your effect lines. You have a habit of including:
Following new legislation in @@NAME@@

In your effect lines. It’s unwieldy for those trying to read your effects, not to mention that part shows up on your national happenings page all the time anyways.
I only did it because I tweak it slightly in option 0. If it was the standard text for all options, I wouldn't have bothered including it for any of them.
Altmer Dominion wrote:Look, you seem enthusiastic. Heck, you drafted two distinct issues within a day. That's the reason I nit-picked the above draft. Keep working on some formatting fundamentals, but most importantly: keep writing.
[/quote]Thank you. I might do something about mathematical or engineering ignorance tomorrow. And I just realized that the title of this forum thread is a typo.

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Techolandia
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[DRAFT] An Enormous Accounting Error

Postby Techolandia » Mon Feb 12, 2018 7:01 pm

Techolandia wrote:Thank you. I might do something about mathematical or engineering ignorance tomorrow.
How about this for mathematical ignorance?



Only available to nations with taxes (for example, not available for communist nations)
Last week, while filing Press Secretary @@RANDOMNAME@@'s taxes for @@HIM@@ (random unless the country is a stringent patriarchy or a stringent matriarchy), your press secretary's accountant, when unsure whether to multiply or divide by the press secretary's total number of dependents accidentally chose multiply when he should have chosen divide, causing your press secretary to pay millions of dollars in taxes less than @@HE@@ should have (see above). The Ministry of Finance subsequently sued and audited your press secretary, drawing much attention from the media.

1. "This simply shows how sorry the state of math education is @@NAME@@ is," states math teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while assigning your cousin problems 5, 8, 13-16, and 22 for homework. "Have you seen the standards for a passing math grade lately? They're pathetic! Give me a spot in the Ministry of Education, and I'll right @@NAME@@'s path." Turning to your cousin, @@HE@@ explains, "No, you can split the integral into two parts like so."
(increases education and intelligence)
Effect: @@NAME@@'s fifth graders are better at complex triple contour integration than other nations' college students.

2. "I think that @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are already smart enough at math, if not too smart," says elementary school dropout @@RANDOMALENAME@@, who has the mathematical proficiency of a second grader. "The real problem is…uh…the complicated tax code. People shouldn't have to have a PhD in number theory in order to avoid audits. Second graders should be able to file taxes." He falls asleep as {name of the math teacher from the first option} tries to explain two-digit addition to him.
(decreases education and intelligence)
Effect: Teachers in @@NAME@@'s schools have students file their taxes as math homework.

3. "The problem with our math classes is that they're boring," says Martin Gardner while waking {name of the elementary school dropout from the second option} and having him come up with some rep-tiles. "They have been for years. When I was in eighth grade, there was maybe one other kid in the entire class who never feel asleep during math class. Mathematics is too centered around proofs and not enough around fun number games. Now, take any number, and multiply it by 9."
(increases cheerfulness)
Effect: Sudoku and Kakuro are staples of math class.

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Altmer Dominion
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Postby Altmer Dominion » Mon Feb 12, 2018 7:30 pm

I don't have time tonight to do a repeat in-depth critique, but let me reiterate a point: I strongly suggest that you create a new topic for any new draft. If anyone responds to a previous issue idea you've posted, the thread will get really confusing really fast. Please split your drafts up.

EDIT: Just because I feel strongly enough about it, there is actually one thing about your previous response.
Also, would 01100010011110010111010001100101001000000110010101110010011100100110111101110010 or 01110100011110010111000001101111001000000110010001100101011101000110010101100011011101000110010101100100 be better binary text?

Let me be perfectly clear: No Binary. Issue effects don't just show up in your national happenings; they rotate through the body of your nation's descriptive paragraphs as well. Personally, if I saw something like that on my nation page (without knowing it was intentional) I'd lodge a question over in Technical and ask what broke.
Last edited by Altmer Dominion on Mon Feb 12, 2018 7:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Techolandia
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Postby Techolandia » Mon Feb 12, 2018 8:08 pm

Altmer Dominion wrote:I don't have time tonight to do a repeat in-depth critique, but let me reiterate a point: I strongly suggest that you create a new topic for any new draft. If anyone responds to a previous issue idea you've posted, the thread will get really confusing really fast. Please split your drafts up.

EDIT: Just because I feel strongly enough about it, there is actually one thing about your previous response.
Also, would 01100010011110010111010001100101001000000110010101110010011100100110111101110010 or 01110100011110010111000001101111001000000110010001100101011101000110010101100011011101000110010101100100 be better binary text?

Let me be perfectly clear: No Binary. Issue effects don't just show up in your national happenings; they rotate through the body of your nation's descriptive paragraphs as well. Personally, if I saw something like that on my nation page (without knowing it was intentional) I'd lodge a question over in Technical and ask what broke.
I suggested an alternative for the description. It breaks the fourth wall, but it's still viable:
Option summaries are typed by @@LEADER@@'s ten-year-old nephew.

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Huan-Sheng
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Postby Huan-Sheng » Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:48 am

Okay, elephant in the room; you basically proposed two completely different issues in the same thread. If you want people to have an easy time providing feedback, you probably want to make two separate threads for this. I'll get into suggestions once that has been done.

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USS Monitor
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Postby USS Monitor » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:53 pm

Techolandia wrote:
Altmer Dominion wrote:I don't have time tonight to do a repeat in-depth critique, but let me reiterate a point: I strongly suggest that you create a new topic for any new draft. If anyone responds to a previous issue idea you've posted, the thread will get really confusing really fast. Please split your drafts up.

EDIT: Just because I feel strongly enough about it, there is actually one thing about your previous response.

Let me be perfectly clear: No Binary. Issue effects don't just show up in your national happenings; they rotate through the body of your nation's descriptive paragraphs as well. Personally, if I saw something like that on my nation page (without knowing it was intentional) I'd lodge a question over in Technical and ask what broke.
I suggested an alternative for the description. It breaks the fourth wall, but it's still viable:
Option summaries are typed by @@LEADER@@'s ten-year-old nephew.


OK, none of this works.

First of all, I think Altmer's point about the binary looking weird in the nation description is legit.

Secondly, your proposed solution of having the nation happenings be different from the descriptive text is not doable. Editors and mods don't have a tool that does this, and we're not going to ask admin to make one for the sake of this effect line.

Third, we don't have a way to change the text in national happenings from "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@" to "Following new legislation in COUNRTY NOT FOUND." That's not part of the editable issue text that editors and mods can work on.

Fourth, having a whacky option is fine, but we're not treating it as an easter egg. Easter eggs are for getting weird issues with unusual validities, not for choosing a particular option.

And finally, "Option summaries are typed by @@LEADER@@'s ten-year-old nephew" is not a good effect line.

You need to cut the gimmicks and write your effect lines to work with the system, same as everyone else does.
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༄༅། །འགྲོ་བ་མི་རིགས་ག་ར་དབང་ཆ་འདྲ་མཉམ་འབད་སྒྱེཝ་ལས་ག་ར་གིས་གཅིག་གིས་གཅིག་ལུ་སྤུན་ཆའི་དམ་ཚིག་བསྟན་དགོས།

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Techolandia
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Posts: 292
Founded: Feb 05, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Techolandia » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:19 pm

USS Monitor wrote:
Techolandia wrote:I suggested an alternative for the description. It breaks the fourth wall, but it's still viable:
Option summaries are typed by @@LEADER@@'s ten-year-old nephew.


OK, none of this works.

First of all, I think Altmer's point about the binary looking weird in the nation description is legit.

Secondly, your proposed solution of having the nation happenings be different from the descriptive text is not doable. Editors and mods don't have a tool that does this, and we're not going to ask admin to make one for the sake of this effect line.

Third, we don't have a way to change the text in national happenings from "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@" to "Following new legislation in COUNRTY NOT FOUND." That's not part of the editable issue text that editors and mods can work on.

Fourth, having a whacky option is fine, but we're not treating it as an easter egg. Easter eggs are for getting weird issues with unusual validities, not for choosing a particular option.

And finally, "Option summaries are typed by @@LEADER@@'s ten-year-old nephew" is not a good effect line.

You need to cut the gimmicks and write your effect lines to work with the system, same as everyone else does.
1, 2, and 5: How about typos haunt NationStates' coding for both?

3: Okay, just use typos haunt NationStates' coding or something else that doesn't require COUNTRY NOT FOUND to be used.

4: In that case, don't. I guess that it's not as easter-eggy as I thought.

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Palos Heights
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Posts: 338
Founded: Apr 25, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Palos Heights » Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:23 pm

This has been bugging me but you misspelled Scientific in your title.
Silence means approval, so speak up for what matters or your voice will go unheard.

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Techolandia
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Posts: 292
Founded: Feb 05, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Techolandia » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:06 pm

Palos Heights wrote:This has been bugging me but you misspelled Scientific in your title.
I was previously aware of that but forgot to fix it before.
Techolandia wrote:…Thank you. I might do something about mathematical or engineering ignorance tomorrow. And I just realized that the title of this forum thread is a typo.
I just fixed it now. Thank you for reminding me.

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USS Monitor
Retired Moderator
 
Posts: 30747
Founded: Jul 01, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby USS Monitor » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:21 pm

Techolandia wrote:
USS Monitor wrote:
OK, none of this works.

First of all, I think Altmer's point about the binary looking weird in the nation description is legit.

Secondly, your proposed solution of having the nation happenings be different from the descriptive text is not doable. Editors and mods don't have a tool that does this, and we're not going to ask admin to make one for the sake of this effect line.

Third, we don't have a way to change the text in national happenings from "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@" to "Following new legislation in COUNRTY NOT FOUND." That's not part of the editable issue text that editors and mods can work on.

Fourth, having a whacky option is fine, but we're not treating it as an easter egg. Easter eggs are for getting weird issues with unusual validities, not for choosing a particular option.

And finally, "Option summaries are typed by @@LEADER@@'s ten-year-old nephew" is not a good effect line.

You need to cut the gimmicks and write your effect lines to work with the system, same as everyone else does.
1, 2, and 5: How about typos haunt NationStates' coding for both?


From a technical standpoint: there's no problem with it.

From a quality standpoint: I don't think it's the most exciting. The whole draft needs an edit geared toward improving the flow, making it less wordy, and conveying the humor with more finesse. Right now, some humor is getting lost because you took long explaining it.
Don't take life so serious... it isn't permanent... RIP Dyakovo and Ashmoria
19th century steamships may be harmful or fatal if swallowed. In case of accidental ingestion, please seek immediate medical assistance.
༄༅། །འགྲོ་བ་མི་རིགས་ག་ར་དབང་ཆ་འདྲ་མཉམ་འབད་སྒྱེཝ་ལས་ག་ར་གིས་གཅིག་གིས་གཅིག་ལུ་སྤུན་ཆའི་དམ་ཚིག་བསྟན་དགོས།

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Techolandia
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Posts: 292
Founded: Feb 05, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Techolandia » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:50 pm

USS Monitor wrote:
Techolandia wrote:1, 2, and 5: How about typos haunt NationStates' coding for both?


From a technical standpoint: there's no problem with it.

From a quality standpoint: I don't think it's the most exciting. The whole draft needs an edit geared toward improving the flow, making it less wordy, and conveying the humor with more finesse. Right now, some humor is getting lost because you took long explaining it.
Which one or two options need the most improvement?

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Shwe Tu Colony
Senator
 
Posts: 4827
Founded: Sep 27, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:24 pm

I'd consider helping edit/revise this issue, but which one would or should I do?
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Techolandia
Envoy
 
Posts: 292
Founded: Feb 05, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Techolandia » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:53 pm

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:I'd consider helping edit/revise this issue, but which one would or should I do?
First of all, thank you for the offer.

As for which, here's what I think needs the most work for each:
Scientific Stupidity: I'd work on the second option first and provide some backstory to back up the teacher's point. Also, for the first option, I'd like the professor to say "…ensure that scientific knowledge is put first in less time than the biological half-life of caffeine in an adult human," or something, but I can't think of anything that sounds stereotypically scientific.
A Terminal Typo: There seems to be widespread consensus that the lead is too long, too descriptive, and not funny enough. Would you please try to condense it and make it funnier while maintaining the overall story of how the virus was downloaded, not getting rid of the irony of committing a typo while trying to learn how to type, and making sure that the lead still adequately introduces option 7.
An Enormous Accounting Error: I think that the lead has the same problem as the lead in A Terminal Typo, but to a lesser extent. Also, for option 3, I want to use something that's more commonly associated with recreational mathematics than rep-tiles.

Once again, thank you!

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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 27167
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:28 am

Hello, not a bad little issue you got here. Now let's take a look:

It's a bit too long. See if you can cut it down a bit
Hard-Core Centrist. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
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Techolandia
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Posts: 292
Founded: Feb 05, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Techolandia » Fri Feb 16, 2018 6:08 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Hello, not a bad little issue you got here. Now let's take a look:

It's a bit too long. See if you can cut it down a bit
Which one?
*realizes that Altmer Dominion had a point*
Oh well, I've already posted multiple issues here, but at least I know not to make that same mistake again in the future.

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Techolandia
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Posts: 292
Founded: Feb 05, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Techolandia » Sat Feb 24, 2018 2:42 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Hello, not a bad little issue you got here. Now let's take a look:

It's a bit too long. See if you can cut it down a bit
Alright; I shortened the lead for A Terminal Typo.


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