World Bowl XXXIV: Everything Thread

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Mon Jan 01, 2018 6:19 am

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXIV RECAP: MATCHDAYS EIGHT AND NINE

Cendolia        0  0  3  0  3
Abanhfleft      0  3  0  7  10

Abanhfleft      3  0  0  7  10
Barunia         0  7  3  0  10

Sorry about that, me missing the gab on the game between Cendolia and Abanhfleft, but like I said before, the Wi-Fi connection to some of the places where I've been aren't exactly as reliable as the one we have here in Abanhfleft, and that's saying something as Abanhfleft has one of the slowest Internet speeds in the whole of the multiverse. To think that there are more nations slower than us when it comes to Internet is truly a wonder of modern technology. Even Pridnestrovia has faster Internet than we, Abanhfleft. Does that not make sense or what? I'll tell you what, though, you all didn't miss much. Both games weren't high scoring affairs so covering them wouldn't take too much of my time. So here goes.

First up is Cendolia versus Abanhfleft. The last game between these two teams was a bit of a hum-drum affair with Abanhfleft eventually triumphing over the visitors 10-3. Well, guess what? We won against the same team by the same scoreline and with the same scorers and almost the same statistics as well. What? I told you it was going to be quite the boring match report. Nothing happened in the first quarter. We scored a 40-yard field goal courtesy of Cleveland Hyneman. Cendolia managed to tie the game in the third quarter with a 32-yard field goal of their own before Saddam Hussain finally managed to score what would eventually be the game-winning touchdown deep in the fourth quarter. Like I told you, boring, simple, and you wouldn't have missed a thing had you watched only the first game between these two teams.

But Abanhfleft versus Barunia, ah, now that's another story entirely. The last time we met, we trounced them in front of their own fans, and we also shut them out for an eventual 36-0 score. That was definitely exciting, wasn't it? Well, I can tell you that the latest match between these two sides, while it was definitely exciting as well, the outcome isn't the same. Where do I start with the differences? Well, for one thing, even though Abanhfleft won the toss and chose to receive, we were only able to go as far as 45 yards away before we were forced to go for the free kick, which Cleveland Hyneman managed to score, but still, it's a far cry from the 8 points we scored in the first quarter of the reverse fixture. Nothing else happened in the first quarter except for a Barunian sack on Harry Aumann for a loss of eight yards on 3rd and 5. Barunia then turned the tables on us in the second quarter with a solid drive that ended with Keno D'Cunha handing the ball off to Sam Green for an easy rushing touchdown, thus making sure that the Sea Cows wouldn't be shut out of the contest this time.

Our misery was only compounded in the third quarter as Barunia managed to piece together another solid drive, although Yaropolk Feofiliyev managed to make a rare sack in this twilight of his career to force the Barunians to a 49-yard field goal, which they made. But they managed to keep us quiet right until the last four minutes of the fourth quarter when Harry Aumann finally managed to piece together another good drive, and this time he made it count by finding Denis Nguyen in space for a 30-yard passing touchdown and the tie game. And since the new tournament format that host Banija introduced allowed for tie games in the group stage, this game ended in a 10-10 tie between the two sides. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, though. We beat Barunia before. We could have and should have beaten them again. But they managed to outplay us, at least in the first three quarters, and we were playing catch up with them after that. We did good to tie the game, but as a matter of fact, Barunia could have and probably should have won the game. But we forced our way back into it, so it should set us up good for that last match against the United States of Devonta. Remember how our last match against them made our possible qualification out of the group a little bit more difficult. Well, following this draw against Barunia, we secured our ticket to the knockout stage right in Banija, and the final game against Devonta will be to determine who wins the group and who finishes second. I really hope it will be us so that we get a better draw in the knockouts. Let's hope for the best and prepare for the worst, people. This is going to be a very interesting journey. Fatima Alsambis, Fatima Alsambis, Fatima Alsambis....

by **Ko-oren** » Mon Jan 01, 2018 8:40 am

Part I: Rivalry Games
Part II: Safeties and turnovers
Part III: Home away from home
Part IV: Western division teams

After the last part, guess what this is. Here are six fans from the Eastern division trying to convince you to support their team.

Noordrug Astronauts
Basics:
We're the Astronauts, from the northeastern coast of Ko-oren's mainland. We're pretty passionate about our sports up here, because that's at least one thing we can follow throughout the long nights near the start and end of the year. The Astronauts are no different. A long time ago, we used to play in Alara on the islands just off our coast, but we've moved here about 15 years ago. It's only a few dozen kilometres, but it's a whole different experience up here. In the early days, we won 3 Ko-oren Bowls, versus another one later on for four total. That's far from bad. Oh, and we play in mostly yellow with some spacy light blue tones.
Why should you be a fan?
We have a shut down defence and tricky special teams. Every defensive unit has a generational talent playing in it with Ruijtenberg, Ehrenkorn and Eisenman that combine for a lot of blitzes and sacks. Our aggressive defence (which is pretty rare in the league) is a lot of fun to watch, and is even fun if you're used to flashy offensive playing.

Aerellen Explosions
Basics:
The Explosions are from way up north on the islands. We tend to play all of our home games early in the year because the conditions for late home games aren't exactly perfect. This way, we often do very well early on but tend to fall back a bit. That's something you should know on beforehand. We're in camouflage tones of all white and black (because of the snow, get it). So far, we were one of the first three teams to ever win a Ko-oren Bowl, and we've won four Bowls so far. Up to about 25 years ago, we played in Endev, which is currently the northeastern coast of Ko-oren. After the move, there was a bit of a chain move going on which gave them the Astronauts, et cetera. Anyway.
Why should you be a fan?
We've got an amazing running offence right now with arguably the best line, a quarterback that spreads the ball around with options, keepers and sneaks, and we keep ourselves safe on defence as well. If you don't mind the occasional trick play as regular part of the offence, the Explosions are for you.

Sterrenwolde Dragonflies
Basics:
We're the Dragonflies! Heirs to the long gone Ko-oren Capitals, the team of the capital city and long time competitors for every title out there. We've gotten the first ever Ko-oren Bowl, as well as number 6. We've got massive history, as does all of the Eastern division (the older division, never forget that). Our national colours of green and blue are also our colours. We play in Sterrenwolde, a town outside of larger Schemerdrecht, while our rivals live across the bay in Aminey. That means we've got grudge matches about 6 times a year, and they would love nothing more than to ruin our season as well.
Why should you be a fan?
The best three quarterbacks play in the East, so if you want to see those, watch us. Oh, one of those is actually on our team: Reeman. He controls his offence like no other with huge game intelligence. He knows what the players around him can do and he orders them around every other play or so. And then he gets the ball where it needs to be. The efficient offence is paired with a tactical defence, with a scary secondary and mixed signals about coverages everywhere.

Aminey Caspians
Basics:
If you like winning, look no further. The Caspians are the only team from the French-speaking part of Ko-oren on the south side of the bay. We've got eight Ko-oren Bowls, most of all. And they're not just historical ones like with most of the East. No, we've won 14 and 15 long ago, together with 24, 31 and 32, and then recently 36, 38 and 40. That means we've got the most recent one as well. And we've got no intention to stop here. The Blue and Yellow of the Caspians will look good on you.
Why should you be a fan?
Are you enjoying the World Bowl? Of course you are. Well, then you've probably seen Sylvestre with his two-tight end set around in our games. And before you ask: yes, those are all from the Caspians. Lots of sneaky plays and short funny passes, our offence gets the job done. And Delannoy is almost automatic on special teams. Our defence is talented and on the way up from losing a few players after the championship season. Most of it is still intact and ready to win another Bowl next season.

Schemerdrecht 65ers
Basics:
We're the true Schemerdrecht team. Largest city in the north, and it's ours. The 65ers have two Ko-oren Bowls so far. We've always been close to this city, even when we operated from Tosk, a small town nearby. We're also pretty distinct colour-wise, with a royal purple that makes us look like the kings we are. 65ers comes from the year we were founded: oldest team in the league, at 1865. You could barely call it gridiron back then, but we played it.
Why should you be a fan?
Our league-best O-line sets up our offence. Buying the QB time, opening holes for the backs, every skill player flourishes with the 65ers. Not just that, but seeing as most teams in the KGL are defence-oriented, the 65ers repeatedly give our QBs the longest time to make a decision, which means we often have the one offence that can develop players properly. Our defence is good, but needs one or two pieces.

Schemerdrecht Admirals
Basics:
The Admirals work from Schemerdrecht, the largest city in the north of Ko-oren. We have a pretty solid and passionate fanbase in the entire province and beyond, we're the real Bay team. We were founded as a sporting outlet for the Navy, hence the name. Nowadays we play in orange and blue (only orange team in the league). Given our history, we're still waiting for our first Ko-oren Bowl. The Admirals have played a lot of sports for a long time, but we're pretty young to the KGL.
Why should you be a fan?
We're going to have a nice few seasons coming up! Mannussen and Wennes are a lot of fun on offence, complementing each other perfectly and getting 1000 yards running (Mannussen) and 1000 yards receiving (Wennes) on a yearly basis. Our front-7 is the best in the league as well, taking some pressure off of the secondary that sometimes does get beat deep.

by **Banija** » Mon Jan 01, 2018 9:55 am

The winner takes all....

It's the thrill of one more kill!

The last one to fall....

Is the one who never sacrifices their will at the cutoff!

Group Winner
Group Second Place
Eliminated

Group A
Bongo Johnson 13–7 Wileyshire
Philamer Isle 9–13 Qasden
Banija 29–18 Krossa

Group A                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Bongo Johnson                 10    7   1   2   184  104  +80
2 Qasden                        10    6   1   3   123  124   −1
3 Krossa                        10    6   0   4   128   85  +43
4 Banija                        10    5   2   3   282  101 +181
5 Philamer Isle                 10    2   0   8    91  211 −120
6 Wileyshire                    10    2   0   8    72  255 −183

Group B
Golden State Warriorz 6–6 Vangaziland
Allamunic States 13–0 Artheria
Alpine Union 23–14 Ranoria

Group B                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Allamunic States              10    8   2   0   185   54 +131
2 Alpine Union                  10    7   0   3   132   54  +78
3 Ranoria                       10    5   1   4   232  119 +113
4 Vangaziland                   10    4   2   4   104  106   −2
5 Golden State Warriorz         10    2   1   7    57  185 −128
6 Artheria                      10    1   0   9    50  242 −192

Group C
Slashska 0–17 Kaboomlandia
Main Nation Ministry 14–6 Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Argentinistan 13–30 Space

Group C                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Kaboomlandia                  10    7   0   3   165   91  +74
2 Royal Kingdom of Quebec       10    7   0   3   200  117  +83
3 Main Nation Ministry          10    7   0   3   199  107  +92
4 Argentinistan                 10    5   0   5   114  185  −71
5 Space                         10    3   0   7    72  145  −73
6 Slashska                      10    1   0   9    84  189 −105

Group D
Drawkland 7–3 Azadeshia
Equestrian States 7–33 Newmanistan
Valalland 20–0 Chromatika

Group D                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Drawkland                     10    9   0   1   196   55 +141
2 Newmanistan                   10    7   0   3   253   95 +158
3 Azadeshia                     10    7   0   3   130   91  +39
4 Chromatika                    10    3   1   6    94  159  −65
5 Equestrian States             10    2   0   8    67  208 −141
6 Valalland                     10    1   1   8    53  185 −132

Group E
Indusse 10–3 Bjornoya Islands
South Covello 10–34 Anthor
Free Republics 34–7 Hatterleigh

Group E                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Free Republics                10   10   0   0   159   19 +140
2 South Covello                 10    6   0   4   232  170  +62
3 Hatterleigh                   10    5   0   5   109  119  −10
4 Anthor                        10    5   0   5   145  138   +7
5 Indusse                       10    3   0   7    97  167  −70
6 Bjornoya Islands              10    1   0   9   106  235 −129

Group F
Catalonia 10–0 New Danican
Amouraland 7–17 Cosumar
Taeshan 17–3 Lisander

Group F                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Taeshan                       10    8   0   2   202   68 +134
2 Cosumar                       10    8   0   2   278  120 +158
3 Lisander                      10    6   0   4   199  167  +32
4 Catalonia                     10    4   0   6   114  163  −49
5 New Danican                   10    2   0   8    94  231 −137
6 Amouraland                    10    2   0   8    64  202 −138

Group G
Ko-oren 32–7 Molvaniia
United States of Devonta 0–30 Abanhfleft
Barunia 14–10 Cendolia

Group G                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Abanhfleft                    10    7   1   2   200   78 +122
2 United States of Devonta      10    6   0   4   128  121   +7
3 Ko-oren                       10    5   1   4   128   97  +31
4 Molvaniia                     10    4   1   5   155  233  −78
5 Barunia                       10    4   1   5    96  142  −46
6 Cendolia                      10    2   0   8    84  120  −36

Group H
Greater Vakolicci Haven 3–14 Pridnestrovia
Tomure 0–6 Northwest Kalactin
Aggrey-Fynn Land 10–6 Lycrabon

Group H                         Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Greater Vakolicci Haven       10    9   0   1   141   62  +79
2 Pridnestrovia                 10    8   0   2   196   92 +104
3 Northwest Kalactin            10    4   1   5   160  108  +52
4 Aggrey-Fynn Land              10    3   1   6    69  146  −77
5 Lycrabon                      10    2   1   7   102  166  −64
6 Tomure                        10    2   1   7    85  179  −94

Rankings of Group Winners & Group Runner-ups

Knockout Stage Participants     Pld   W   D   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Free Republics                10   10   0   0   159   19 +140
1 Drawkland                     10    9   0   1   196   55 +141
1 Greater Vakolicci Haven       10    9   0   1   141   62  +79
1 Allamunic States              10    8   2   0   185   54 +131
1 Taeshan                       10    8   0   2   202   68 +134
1 Abanhfleft                    10    7   1   2   200   78 +122
1 Bongo Johnson                 10    7   1   2   184  104  +80
1 Kaboomlandia                  10    7   0   3   165   91  +74

2 Cosumar                       10    8   0   2   278  120 +158
2 Pridnestrovia                 10    8   0   2   196   92 +104
2 Newmanistan                   10    7   0   3   253   95 +158
2 Royal Kingdom of Quebec       10    7   0   3   200  117  +83
2 Alpine Union                  10    7   0   3   132   54  +78
2 Qasden                        10    6   1   3   123  124   −1
2 South Covello                 10    6   0   4   232  170  +62
2 United States of Devonta      10    6   0   4   128  121   +7

(1) Free Republics vs. (16) United Stats of Devonta @ Kawesa Stadium
(8) Kaboomlandia vs. (9) Cosumar @ The Stadium of the Restoration
Winners play in Quarterfinal 1 at Kawesa Stadium

(4) Allamunic States vs. (13) Alpine Union @ The Wolf's Den
(5) Taeshan vs. (12) Royal Kingdom of Quebec @ PG Arena
Winners play in Quarterfinal 2 at the Wolf's Den

(3) Greater Vakolicci Haven vs. (14) Qasden @ Bwubanza City Park
(6) Abanhfleft vs. (11) Newmanistan @ Star Field
Winners play in Quartefinal 3 at Bwubanza City Park

(2) Drawkland vs. (15) South Covello @ Hangaza Unified Stadium
(7) Bongo Johnson vs. (10) Pridnestrovia @ Liberty Stadium
Winners play in Quartefinal 4 at Hangaza Unified Stadium

by **Free Republics** » Mon Jan 01, 2018 8:35 pm

The controversy broke just hours after the last game of the World Bowl group stage had been played. Suddenly, every channel in the Free Republics was talking about Jasper Chuter and Sporting World Magazine. One of his emails had accidentally been forwarded to his entire address book and everybody he had ever corresponded with. Within minutes, the responses started poring in and online activists began calling for his resignation even before reporters officially broke the story. One of the most powerful men in sports journalism had admitted to deliberately hiring incompetent women for the sole purpose of forcing them to sleep with him to keep their jobs.

Meanwhile, Mr. Chuter was keeping a radio silence, determined to wait out the storm. He'd survived rumors and innuendo in the past and he knew he would survive this too. It was just a matter of figuring out how he was going to deflect the controversy and move on with the task of running his magazine the way he wanted to run it. Nobody was going to stop him from doing whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. Besides, he'd never been one to back down and he had friends in high places all throughout Republican society. That was the only way he'd managed to hold onto his job for so long.

The controversy had come on the heels of an apparent success as he ended up leaving Gloria Trentini in the Main Nation Ministry in exchange for their cash, which he had quickly stored in an Acedonian bank account so that he wouldn't have to turn 10 thousand thalers over to various governments. He'd only really cared about the money all along and he wasn't particularly concerned with Gloria's fate. He didn't like her attitude anyway and her work as a maid had been so thoroughly unsatisfactory that he'd seriously been tempted to fire her even if she continued to spread her legs upon his command.

He decided to read Henriette Lecuyer's recap of the Republican victory over Hatterleigh while he figured out his strategy for responding to the attacks. She had not made any obvious mistakes so far and her current report on the 34 to 7 Republican victory, a victory that included quarterback Wibe Rus throwing for 3 touchdowns and running for a fourth as the Republican offense exploded, was excellent. Reading her descriptions of the Republican drives reminded him of the high-quality coverage of World Bowl games that the Saintland Press used to provide back in the day. This woman, Jasper thought, was probably too good at her job. He had no hope of getting her into bed because she'd just refuse him and he couldn't run the risk of losing her. Now, he increasingly wondered if maybe it would be a good idea to enlist her in his defense instead.

After thinking about it a bit, Jasper realized that he needed an army of women who would back him up and claim that the email the whole world had seen had been a fabrication created by a hacker who was trying to sabotage Sporting World. Now, he decided, was the time to get every woman on the Sporting World payroll to come out and defense Mr. Chuter. It was also the time to bring in "computer experts" who would claim that the email was a forgery, that Gloria Trentini had quit on her own accord and that Sporting World had been hacked. It would be an audacious effort but it was the only way, in Mr. Chuter's mind, that he could survive this scandal and continue his life's work...

by **Taeshan** » Mon Jan 01, 2018 9:31 pm

It was an interesting last day of the World Bowl Group stage throughout the tournament, but perhaps most interesting for the Fitin' Falcons of Taeshan as they hosted Lisander in a must not lose by more than 10 points game. And the Fitin' Falcons defense arrived ready to play and that is perhaps the greatest sign as we move towards the playoffs thanks to a big 17-3 victory over Lisander. This win not only locked up the Group for Taeshan, but it also knocked out Lisander who finished third place. The Falcons won the Group over Cosumar who also advances to the next round.

The win was big for the Fitin' Falcons. While for the most part the defense and offense has shown up in different games this game was an all out assault as the team looked to move on to the playoffs, and hopefully play for another championship soon. With the Falcons defense coming out and keeping the Lisander side scoreless the offense was given a big chance to win with their quality. Angel Herrera scored the only first half touchdown on a long reception in the first half. The Falcons defense came up big at the start of the second half with an early fumble recovery that led to a field goal. The Lisander side answered but after that things continued to show up all Taeshan. The Falcons would round out the scoring with a Parson Newberry screen play touchdown throw from Sam Clentimack.

The victory for the Fitin' Falcons means they move on once again to the Round of Sixteen where they will face a familiar opponent in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. While the history between the two in Football is not exactly one of the most storied, in various other sports they have been known to run into each other various times. The Quebec side is the 8th ranked team in the world, who lost to Kaboomlandia in the last World Bowl's last round of Sixteen, as well as finished second to them in this tournament. The Quebec side barely finished above 60th in the world Main Nation Ministry. They had all but wrapped up their advancement to the round of sixteen before to late losses put it up to the fates, and while they have advanced they are looking rather poor. That said teams who back in to playoffs often can find ways to destroy their overlooking opponents and advance farther than expected.

by **Banija** » Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:00 pm

It's cold and lonely in the deep cutoff....

I can see Paradise by the Dashboard Light!

World Bowl XXXIV Round of 16
Free Republics 49–0 United States of Devonta
Kaboomlandia 10–10 Cosumar (13–10 OT)
Allamunic States 0–7 Alpine Union
Taeshan 16–0 Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Greater Vakolicci Haven 19–0 Qasden
Abanhfleft 0–12 Newmanistan
Drawkland 25–31 South Covello
Bongo Johnson 3–20 Pridnestrovia

(1) Free Republics vs. (8) Kaboomlandia @ Kawesa Stadium in Mynda, Aksum
(5) Taeshan vs. (13) Alpine Union @ the Wolf's Den in Busembe, Kitara
Winners play in Semifinal 1 @ the Liberty Stadium in Istria, Moravica

(3) Greater Vakolicci Haven vs. (11) Newmanistan at Bwubanza City Park in Bwubanza City, Bunyoro
(10) Pridnestrovia vs. (15) South Covello at Hangaza Unified Stadium in Aissa, Hangaza
Winners play in Semifinal 2 at Star Field in Herzegovina City, Moravica

by **Taeshan** » Wed Jan 03, 2018 9:26 am

From the start of the game it was rather evident that there would be one winner on the day between the Fitin' Falcons of Taeshan and their opponents from the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. The Falcons had been strong for most of the tournament with only one major blip in a loss against a rather weak opponent. Their second loss of the year came early to group favorites Cosumar, so for the most part that was an expected possible problem for the campaign. But the team had continued strong, meanwhile Quebec for the most part had been strong, but towards the end of the season had started losing to bad teams and backed into the playoffs.

And they continued to back into their Round of Sixteen game as they managed to get forced into a safety on the opening kickoff as the return man came out of the endzone, but ended up back in it and the Falcons were up 2-0 within seconds. It took almost most of the first half for the Falcon offense to get their first points, but eventually Parson Newberry would make it 9-0 before halftime. The offense slowly methodically tried to move the ball, while the defense barely gave up 100 yards to the Quebec side. Finally the Falcons would seemingly put the game to bed with an impressive Angel Herrera touchdown reception in the third quarter.

This win means the Fitin' Falcons will take on the Alpine Union in the Quarterfinal round. Their opponents will likely be out to defeat them as they were their quarterfinal victims only a year ago in the last World bowl as the the Falcons advanced all the way to the tournament final. Funnily enough the two almost ended up facing off in the Round of Sixteen before tiebreakers were correctly applied for the side. Now this could be interesting as they managed an impressive victory over the Allamunic States 7-0. With both defenses coming off a shutout, and both offenses not scoring a lot we could be in for a testy defensive battle.

by **Union of Socialist Alpine Republics** » Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:31 pm

An interview on WGNA 97,1 a local radio station in Neoga, Republic of Wabash

Tom McDermott: Our guest has arrived, please welcome Bridget Robinson who covers the Neoga Indians and, on occasion, the Neoga Jeffersons for the Neoga Tribune. She will talk about the story that goes viral on the web. A foreign journalist from the Free Republics, Gloria Trentini, has been forced to have sex with her boss to keep her job.

Bridget Robinson: Hiii!

Tom: So can you tell us who is Gloria Trentini?

Bridget: Goria Trentini was the football correspondent for Sporting World, a magazine from the Free Republics which has been banned in our nation because the Free Republics are a capitalist nation. She graduated from the Nejax Republic University, which I believe has a good reputation in that nation. She also posed for a "bra and panties issue" for the same magazine. She's incompetent and it's clear she had her job because she slept with Jasper Chuter, the editor of Sporting World.

Tom: Yes. And the proof is all over the net, he admitted it himself in an email he accidentally sent to all his contacts.

Bridget: Yes exactly. Some people in his contacts posted the said email online and anyone can read it. I hope his career is over, what he did is just disgusting. He's as much disgusting as Lord Allstupid Gregory who ruled South Covello who had hundreds of "concubines" who were forced to have sex with him. And... and... (Bridget is in tears) It reminds me my first job... (tears again)

Tom: your first job... can you tell us more about it?

Bridget: (tears)

Tom: Well let's play some music. Here's Nirvana with Rape Me

Tom: We're back with Bridget, so please can you tell us about your first job?

Bridget: Ok... I graduated from the Sonoma State University and I was hired by SECN to be their soccer correspondent. And you know how I got the job? I slept with Mr. Fomer, the director of human ressources... (tears)

Tom: Oh my god! You know that SECN is the biggest sports network in the former Southern Democratic States?

Bridget: Yes. I was hired on that tv network. Then I realised what I did was bad... I left my job after two months... I moved to Neoga and got a job for the Neoga Tribune... for half of the salary I was earning with SECN...

Tom: What you're saying is big... You were hired at SECN because you slept with the director of human ressources!

Bridget: Yes, his name is Bob Fomer... and I'm not the only one who slept with him... I'm still in contact with... I can't say her name... everyone knows her in the Alpine Union...

Tom: Oh my god, we need Bob Fomer on the radio! But I think he's gonna dismiss all our interview inquiries.

Bridget: Bob Fomer is a freaking pig! (tears)

Tom: It's time for a commercial break. We'll be back with all the details about the football game between the Alpine Union and the Allamunic States. The Bisons won 7-0!

by **Trans-Dniesters** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 2:39 am

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIA AT THE WORLD BOWL
WORLD BOWL XXXIV GROUP STAGE RECAP

Hello yet again, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron. Apologies for failing to turn up at the appointed time once again, but once again hackers from ESTORVIPA tried to access the Kremlin's secure network, necessitating the closure of the Pridnestrovian Internet while the Cyber Warfare Corps tried to find the hackers' location for the Pridnestrovian Army to find and eliminate. Yes, I know that those are quite harsh words but that is the truth of the matter, and that there is no use trying to sidestep the issue. But now that I'm back, I can tell you that there has been little news in the PGSL front, so I will be back to recapping the World Bowl. Luckily, while the internet was down, I was watching the World Bowl so I managed to get my notes up for both games, so let's get on with the job.

World Bowl XXXIV Group Stage Matchday Nine

Pridnestrovia     10 10 10  7  37
Tomure             0  0  7  0  7

This match was basically a humdinger. This was the game where Pridnestrovia showed the rest of the multiverse that we were now a nation to be taken seriously in the matter of gridiron football. We smashed Tomure up a little in our first encounter with them, and we repeated the result in front of our home fans in New Army Stadium, only better. Last time, we won by sixteen points. This time, we nearly doubled our margin of victory with thirty points being our final advantage over the foolhardy visitors.

I have no other words to describe this game other than we smashed the opposition and gave them a lesson in gridiron that they will surely never forget. Heck, I don't think I will forget this game, and I supported the winning team. It was just that kind of a winning performance that sticks in your mind no matter what else happens. Stan Serban was simply on fire that night, throwing four touchdowns and not a single interception. Now doesn't that make for some good reading? The game also had a nice pattern to it, you know. Touchdown, field goal, field goal, touchdown, touchdown, field goal, touchdown for Tomure, and then a final touchdown from Pridnestrovia just to seal the deal. Vyacheslav Kozel and Valentin Sevyk had two touchdowns apiece for the Red Army, and Wislaw Sokoloff made field goals from 40 yards, 22 yards, and 38 yards away for a comprehensive Pridnestrovian victory. And aside from that, there are no injuries to report, so I would say that that was a very good game for Pridnestrovia and a very bad game from Tomure. If they don't get their act together then I don't know how they could help themselves improve for the next World Bowl. That's if they'll still be around for the next World Bowl. We've seen a lot of these countries who just show up in one World Bowl and then vanish in the next one. There are some exceptions, though: Nephara did it a few years ago, but association football is way more popular over there anyway so their not participating in the World Bowl is excusable. But countries like Tomure... I'm not putting out too much hope for them returning.

World Bowl XXXIV Group Stage Matchday Ten

Greater Vakolicci Haven      3  0  0  0  3
Pridnestrovia                7  0  0  7  14

Ah, now we come to what is arguably the biggest game ever in Pridnestrovia's history. The Greater Vakolicci Haven had made it this far into the competition despite never having published their roster at any time, so it's all the more astonishing that we, the Democratic People's Republic of the United Socialist States of Pridnestrovia, were able to keep pace with them despite not knowing how they managed to get there in the first place. Yes, they beat us at home in a very close game, which only means that the team was itching to get some revenge on the Vakoliccis. This game wasn't going to change the playoff picture (the Vakoliccis have a better record than Pridnestrovia), but this match was all about pride. Can the Vakoliccis go unbeaten for the whole group stage of World Bowl XXXIV? Or will Pridnestrovia get their revenge in the end?

It turned out that it would be the latter, although it did take some time before it finally came to fruition. The Vakoliccis had the first drive of the game but couldn't come up with anything substantial out of it because Hieronymus Saller was back to being his beast mode best. The resulting third and out gave Pridnestrovia the chance to gain a good field position for their first ever drive of the game, and after Gergely Farago (normally the backup punter of the national team but recruited to the punt returner role due to his great hands and surprising speed) returned the ball to our own 40-yard line, we looked set for greatness. And that is exactly what happened. After a good, solid drive, Stan Serban picked out the new tailback, Fedor Vladimirov, for a 20-yard touchdown pass and Pridnestrovia's first points of the game. The Greater Vakolicci Haven managed to reply to this with a 41-yard field goal, but after that, the game became... well, I don't know. Boring, perhaps? Nothing too exciting happened. Not even so much as a sack or a pick to invigorate the fans. It was all a bunch of failed drives and nothing much else.

Then, in the fourth quarter, with Pridnestrovia looking like the 7-3 victory was more than satisfactory enough for them, Stan Serban suddenly had an opportunity to run for the end zone on 2nd and 3 on the Vakoliccis' 15-yard line, and boy did he take it. Even the commentators couldn't help but count along with the crowd as Stan the Man ate up the yards on his way to Pridnestrovia's second touchdown, and a very important one at that. Pridnestrovia had gotten their revenge on the Greater Vakolicci Haven, and even though they wouldn't win the group anyway, it was the thought that counts.

And that does it for my recap of the entirety of the World Bowl XXXIV group stage. As for the PGSL, the only news I'm getting at the moment is that some players are taking a lot of time to submit their letters of intent to join the PGSL Draft, and with the day of the draft nearing, these players will most probably have to choose between submitting their letters immediately or postponing to the next PGSL Draft. But that's just what I'm hearing at the moment. Who knows what will happen next time? If no big news from the PGSL comes up once again, it's back to recapping the World Bowl for me. And on that note, До свидания.

by **Free Republics** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:57 am

Sporting World

On the Recent Hacking of Our Magazine
by: Jasper Chuter

By now, most of you have undoubtedly read an email purportedly written by me that portrayed me as a serial sexual predator. Around the multiverse, people are freaking out and predicting that I'm going to be fired soon. I can assure you that I will be staying as the editor of our magazine for the foreseeable future and I want to officially state, for the record, that this email is a complete fabrication which was sent out by computer hackers in order to make me look like some kind of evil monster.

I have brought in an independent computer expert, Dr. Sheila Varela of the University of Nejax Computer Science Department. She has a long paper trail in the area of computer security and has taught courses on the subject for 23 years. Dr. Varela examined our computer system and determined that Sporting World Magazine was hacked and that the email was sent to my entire contacts list by a virus installed on my computer by the hacker. In addition, she has traced the source of the hack back to Nejax Republic University, who has been informed of the improper use of technology by (presumably) one of their students. Dr. Varela tells me that their IT director was not pleased upon finding out what students had been doing on his network.

Since there have been rumors floating around about me since before this fake email, let me clarify that I have never coerced a women into having sex with me nor have I ever hired an incompetent women for the purposes of getting them to have sex with me in exchange for not being fired. I have had sex with employees in the past, as is my right under the law, but I have never and would never have sex with any woman without her consent. I am not a rapist and I did not sexually assault anybody. Furthermore, I demand that people accusing me of being those things cease and desist defaming my good name immediately. If you do not, you will be hearing from my attorneys.

Jasper Chuter is the editor of Sporting World Magazine. He has been the editor of Sporting World for 17 years.

Jasper Chuter signed off on the article, denying the allegations, accusing the email of being a forgery and alleging that Sporting World's computers were hacked. With the denials out of the way and legal threats to hopefully shut up public discussion of the story. He felt confident that he would come out of this still the editor of Sporting World, with his reputation intact and he was ready to use the Ending False Accusations Act as a weapon against any woman who dared to speak out against him.

With that situation addressed, Jasper began reading Henriette Lecuyer's recap of the FFR's 49 to 0 victory over Devonta. Lecuyer told the tale of how the Republican defense returned 3 interceptions for touchdowns and scored another touchdown on a fumble recovery. Wibe Rus threw a touchdown pass to fullback Jacob Naylor and ran for a touchdown. The 7th Republican touchdown occurred on a punt return as a Devonta defender left his lane, Gianleone Siciliani saw the open lane and immediately jumped stepped into it, getting into the open field where he only had to run over the punter to take it to the house. It was a complete massacre of a game as the Republican defense looked even more dominant than ever en route to shutout #8 of the World Bowl.

Next up for the Republicans were #1 ranked reigning champions Kaboomlandia who had come into this World Bowl as favorites to win it all but had underperformed, losing 3 group stage games and requiring overtime to dispatch Cosumar in the Round of 16. The winner of the game would face either last year's runner up Taeshan or the champions from 2 years ago Alpine Union, who had eliminated perennial contenders Allamunic States. While they had the top seed, nobody could seriously argue that the Republicans had an easy draw in the World Bowl playoffs...

by **Newmanistan** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:47 am

THE ROCKET REPORT

DID DINEEN JUST SAVE HIS JOB?

By Brianne Henry,

Throughout the World Bowl, there was a common theme in regards to the Newmanistanian football team. They could beat the teams ranked behind them, but threw up duds against the teams ranked ahead of them. This put them in a situation, following a second dud against Drawkland, losing 13-6, to where they were 4-3 and needing help from someone now to get by Azadeshia, since apparently no one else in the group could figure out how to beat them. At the same time, the Rockets would have to top Chromatika, a team that was ranked ahead of them, but had struggled in this tournament.

Playing on the road, this matchday 8 game would seal the doom of the Rockets if they lost. If they won, they would merely stay alive, but a defeat would spell near certain elimination. Those who have always liked Marvin Dineen and company from this start will say that the team was simply stepping up when they trashed their rivals 44-10. Some others, who needed to be won over, may have called it the turning point of this season. For me and the more critical, we enjoyed it as a big win, but putting the “turning point” label on the triumph seemed a little extreme. The Rockets started very quickly in this game, with Alex Nelligan hooking up with Kevin Ambroziak on the fourth play from scrimmage, from 66 yards for the opening touchdown. Not too long after, Jorge Santana sacked the unknown Chromatika QB in the end zone for a safety, and on the ensuing free kick, Chris Culver took it 88 yards to the house, putting the Rockets up 16-0 with just four minutes of game time off the board in the first quarter. It was a start that Nelligan referenced as, “Us getting the much-needed break against a team of Chromatika’s caliber, and pouncing on it.” I could not agree any more with that assessment. The start took the crowd out of the game, and they would never get back into it, as the Rockets led 30-3 at halftime, and then leading to the 44-10 final. The win meant the Rockets would stay alive in the hunt, but remained a game behind Azadeshia, who at 6-2, were continuing to beat everyone else.

The final two games of the group stage were soft on paper for the Rockets, with a home game against Valalland, who they destroyed earlier, and then a road game in Equestrian States, a place that Newmanistanian athletes have been enjoying success in a lot of late. While the Rockets got the breaks against Chromatika, they did not against Valalland. Fortunately, they never had to play from behind in this game, and since the opening drive resulted in a 41-yard Michael Krizman field goal, Newmanistan always had the lead. But along the way, fans could not have been any more frustrated. It was as if you were waiting for the team to collapse and give up that one big costly play. In history, there has always, it seems, been a game like this that did the Rockets in, against an inferior nation, and this was looking like the one. However, the defense bent a little, but never broke down, and kept the opponents off the scoreboard. A second field goal by Krisman, a 50-yard shot in the third quarter made it 6-0, and that big play for Valalland never came. Newmanistan had survived. Unfortunately, so too did Azadeshia.

Against the Equestrian States, Newmanistan needed a win, and some help with Azadeshia. Azadeshia’s record was 7-and-Rockets up to this point, but at least they would be playing Drawkland. Surely, they could not beat them twice, and with that game being played out in Sonnel, there was hope for us. The sky blue still needed to take care of business, and perhaps some of the scenery of the baseball team’s World Baseball Classic 41 championship, in Equestrian States, was motivating for the team. Several drives had to settle for field goals in this game, but the defense did the job and kept the Ponies off the scoreboard, for the most part. The Rockets were in control throughout, and picked up a solid 33-7 win. Fortunately, Drawkland took care of business by the skin of their teeth against Azadeshia, putting the Rockets into a 7-3 tie with them. Obviously, since we won the head to head, we had the tiebreaker. Two of the last three World Bowl group stages saw the Rockets lose a tiebreaker to advance, so this was different. Newmanistan was granted the #11-seed, and had a tough first round game against the powerful nation of Abanhfleft.

There was not a lot of confidence within the Empire that the nation could get this playoff win, when considering how they played against Drawkland. The team had not stepped up against the top teams all World Bowl, so why should we believe in their ability to top Abanhfleft? The Fleftics were 7-2-1 (ok, if you look at the group stage literally, they were 7-1-2, but this is not soccer, is it? So, ties come after losses in The Rocket Report. So they were 7-2-1 in our minds!) That was a record good enough to win Group 3 with minimal difficulty. They had scored 200 points on the nose, however we scored 253. They had allowed 78, while we allowed a somewhat similar 95. So, why should the team feel inferior against the Fleftics? The answer was, they didn’t. The defense shut down Harrison Aumann completely, and while Alex Nelligan never got the ball in the end zone, he was good enough to get one drive per quarter into field goal range, and Michael Krizman (who still has not missed during the World Bowl), hit from 36 in the 1st, 51 in the 2nd, 31 in the 3rd, and 37 in the 4th, to account for all of the scoring in the stunning 12-0 victory. It is a win that our fans have been waiting for, for a long time. The team knows there is more to do, and are well-focused on their match. Coach Marvin Dineen told us, “You can put that on the board! We’ve played much better then some people (he needed to clear his throat at this point in his statement) think we have. Our defense is young, but are hungry, and have proven themselves, and we have also moved the ball well. Krizzy (Michael Krizman) has nailed all the kicks when needed, and we’re moving forward because we’ve earned it through hard work. We have not opportunistically fallen into this chance.”

Next up is Velstr... oops, the Greater Vakolicci Haven. They are seeded third for the playoffs, thanks to going 9-1 against Group H competition. Other numbers, such as 141 PF and 62 PA should again give us confidence that we can handle this opponent. A win would put this team in the semifinals, amazingly enough.

by **Main Nation Ministry** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:17 pm

To: Jasper Chuter
From: Ministry of Redacting, Main Nation Ministry
Subject: No Subject

Mr. Jasper Chuter. We spoke to Gloria. You're to come back to Main Nation Ministry for an important meeting concerning recent controversy about you. This is something authorized by the Leader of Main Nation Ministry. They demand you head back immediately. Failure to follow instructions will mean releasing your email/letter to all nations attending this year's World Bowl. That briefcase that we gave you? We know what you're doing with those chips, Jasper. You thought confessing your crimes to us would help avoid interest in you?

Come. Now.

A photo was included in the letter, which showed a picture of Gloria in a strange hospital gown-like attire in an interrogation room. The interviewer is holding a copy of the email/letter that Jasper send to Main Nation Ministry.

by **Banija** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:02 pm

I came to win... To fly... To conquer... To thrive...

I came to win... To survive... To prosper... To rise...

To cutoff!

by **Banija** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:09 pm

Quarterfinals
Free Republics 17–6 Kaboomlandia
Taeshan 13–10 Alpine Union
Greater Vakolicci Haven 6–16 Newmanistan
Pridnestrovia 27–16 South Covello

(1) Free Republics vs. (5) Taeshan @ The Liberty Stadium in Istria, Moravica

(10) Pridnestrovia vs. (11) Newmanistan @ Star Field in Herzegovina City, Moravica

Winners play in Final at the Stadium of the Restoration in Busukuma, National Capitol Region
Losers play in Third Place Match at PG Arena in Hoima, Ankole

by **Taeshan** » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:07 am

It was easily the closest matchup of the Quarterfinal round as Taeshan and the Alpine Union faced off for a second straight tournament to try to decide who would go on to the Semi-Finals and play for a spot in the tournaments final. With many of the other games in the round not close and this game a late start it seemed that many were wondering if the day would have a close game. This game delivered. The Fitin' Falcons, winners of the last meeting, were hoping to return to the finals and win their second trophy, while the Alpines were looking to avenge that loss and return to the later rounds. With the winner destined to face the hottest team in the tournament, Free Republics, both teams knew they would be in for a fight.

The game was a rather low scoring one with both teams having defenses with seemingly impregnable zones. The Falcons Quarterback Sam Clentimack seemed unable to get much of anything started for much of the first half. The run game was not working, the pass game was not working. But the Falcon defense held steady as well. The first half only saw 6 points as both sides managed field goals, but besides those two drives nothing seemed doing for either offense. The second half seemed much the same until an impressive Parson Newberry run put the Falcons in the red zone, and Dallas Clark was able to score the games first touchdown and put the game on notice.

For their part the Alpine Union did not give up, and ultimately with 3 minutes to go would find their own touchdown to even the game up, and put the game in a stalemate once again. The Falcons for their part put on a clinic of the two minute drill, but it seemed all for not with 30 seconds to go, and out of field goal range forth down came, but then an incredible fourth down reception saw the chance for a win arise, and with the kicking team rushing onto the field with less than 15 seconds many were hopeful the kick would get off. With no timeouts for either side all the players, fans, and coaches could do was watch as the ball was snapped and kicked with just few seconds to spare.The kick from Martin Xavier was true and right through the uprights and the Falcons had moved on to the semis once again.

by **Newmanistan** » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:02 am

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROCKETS ADVANCE TO SEMIS

by Brianne Henry,

Somehow, someway, this team is still alive and kicking. Following a 16-6 victory over Greater Vakolicci Haven, Newmanistan is one of four teams remaining in the World Bowl. A victory over Pridnestrovia would secure a berth in the title game for World Bowl 34. There is a third place game too, so no matter which way the next game goes, the Rockets have two more games to go. Awaiting on the other side of the bracket would be Free Republics or Taeshan. Yeah, that Taeshan. A Newmanistan-Taeshan World Bowl final would be a pure thrill between two nations that played in the first World Bowl. (OOC: Newmanistan does not recognize “World Bowl 0" as being part of the World Bowl, because it wasn't). A Newmanistan-Free Republics final would send our offense against that amazing Free Republics defense which almost had us wondering if they would go the entire competition without conceding a point. Either way, we’ll face up with one of those teams regardless of how the game goes against Pridnestrovia.

So now, let’s talk about the team from Pridnestrovia. Thankfully, they have figured out that the playoffs are being held in Banija, and not in Bongo Johnson, like their roster alludes too. To say that they have brought the same roster to this World Bowl would be a complete understatement, as they only thing that changed with them was their age. I mean, not a single player on that roster seems to have either gained or lost a single pound from World Bowl 33. Matthew Crause of the Pocono City Nutritional Institute tells us, “That is a remarkable display of weight control by their team. Perhaps it is a state-sponsored regimen by that socialist nation. I don’t know much about that country, but with nations like that you never know if they are forced to maintain an exact weight, much like a horse racing jockey, in order to play for the team.” Crause goes on though, “Difference with horse racing jockeys is you’re talking about smaller men and lower weights. So it’s easier to control. Football players are big and powerful men, so it’s interesting.” Disagreeing with that assessment was Jordan Harris, the strength coach of the Pocono City Capitals, “I would be very concerned that some of their younger players in particular, have not put on a single pound of muscle since the last World Bowl. Look at a guy like Pavel Widmer, for example. Listed as a backup offensive lineman, at 22, he had a weight of 219 on a 6'0" frame, which is pretty good. But in a year, he has not packed on more muscle? At his age he needs to be developing his strength, and that would be very concerning to me. I do not know the man personally, but I would have to wonder if he is truly committed to putting in the extra hours in the gym that is necessary. He got to where he is by his natural ability and talents, but to play at this level for a long period of time, you have to keep growing your muscle mass.” Harris’ seven-year old son, who was with him at the time, also offered an astute observation about the Pridnestrovia, “Maybe they just didn’t feel like changing anything other then the players age and just copied the old roster because they didn’t think people would care that much.”

Another thing that the Pridnestrovia team has in common with their run from last World Bowl is success, and they look to copy and paste their fortunes into this World Bowl. They made it to the quarterfinals last time, but lost by a point to Gregoryisgodistan, 41-40. They got revenge, sort of, on that nation, in the quarterfinals this year by beating South Covello in the quarterfinals 27-16, to get to this game. For those living under a rock recently, South Covello used to be Gregoryisgodistan. I’m not certain if their players were different for South Covello, or if the same players were now able to use their actual names instead of the state-branded names from the Greg days. Regardless, Pridnestrovia got the victory, and the team has played well in the tournament. They came out of Group H finishing second with an 8-2 record, the group won by Greater Vakolicci Haven, the team the Rockets just eliminated. Also note that they have a couple coaches from Abanhfleft on their roster, so those two will certainly preach “revenge” on us.

As for the Rockets, the team really is on the best form in the World Bowl that they have displayed since they returned to the tournament in World Bowl 31. The message was delivered to this team that they must be better, and it is the play of the defense that really has been special for this tournament. The front four was seen as possibly a weak link to the team, not because of a lack of talent, but moreso because of their age. 25-year old Lavion Santiago has emerged a true leader of the team, something in which defensive coordinator Marion Yampolsky was optimistic about, “Lavion brings a ton of energy. He might be young, but he truly plays this game like an established veteran beyond his years, if you’ll excuse my cliche usage there. He knows what his challenge was for this tournament, and has not only accepted his role, but has cherished it. The man is a workaholic as well. I certainly love having this opportunity to coach him on the international team.” Also a leader, but not in a surprising way, is defensive back Taeshawn Gilles, who has six interceptions during the World Bowl, including three brought back for touchdowns. As a well-known superstar in Newmanistan, no one is surprised by these numbers, but Yampolsky says not to discount his effort, “Sure, it’s a little different with Taeshawn, since the expectations were there to begin with. Sometimes having those expectations already there make it hard for you to exceed what was expected of you, but Gilles has brought his game to a new level. We knew we were getting one of the greatest defensive backs in the world, but what we got is one of the greatest defensive backs in the world playing some of his best football right now.”

The offense, led by quarterback Alex Nelligan, has been efficient. They started slowly, not picking up an offensive touchdown through the air until the fourth game, but Nelligan’s numbers have normalized to be a success, even if you also try to take out the number padding from the first game against Valalland. The best part of the offense, even when Nelligan was beginning slow, is that they are not turning the ball over much. Nelligan has not been hurting the team with costly interceptions and you have to give him credit for playing a smart brand of football. Even against Greater Vakolicci Haven, where only one drive ended up in the end zone (a 11-yard Cameron Hall run), coupled with three field goals, and actually meaning that Nelligan has not actually thrown a TD pass in the playoffs either, he also has not thrown a pick. Newmanistan was allowed to control the game against Greater Vakolicci Haven through, and had a shutout going until five minutes remained in the fourth quarter, when the opponents did get it in the end zone. When the defense thwarted the two point conversion attempt, the Rockets again picked up the momentum. Nelligan will have to be on his game against Prindestrovia, because that opponent likes to play an offensive brand of football, so the defense will have a tougher time. That isn’t to say that the defense can’t step up, and you have to be confident that they will. The question is, can the offense score enough points to be playing the winner of the Free Republics-Taeshan game, and not the loser, in their next match.

This game will take place in Herzegovina City. It’s a cold day throughout Newmanistan, so you have no reason not to go out to a bar or to sit at home and watch this game!

by **Trans-Dniesters** » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:53 am

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIA AT THE WORLD BOWL
WORLD BOWL XXXIV GROUP STAGE RECAP

Hello once again, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron. Yet more apologies from me since I took some time to settle in here in Banija for the playoffs as well as find a good spot where I can get decent and constant Wi-Fi so I can keep posting my recaps without worrying about losing all of my hard work due to a simple connection reset. I've had that thing happen to me so many times that I believe I actually have a phobia of it. Some of you would say that I write my recaps on a word processor program before copying and pasting it over to my actual blog, but don't you think I'm not already doing that? Well, enough about my ranting. Let's get on with seeing how Pridnestrovia has done in the World Bowl playoffs.

World Bowl XXXIV Playoffs: Round of 16 Stage

Bongo Johnson      3  0  0  0  3
Pridnestrovia      0  3 10  7  20

For the Round of 16 stage of the playoffs, we were drawn against the host of the two previous World Bowls, Bongo Johnson. I've always thought that that name was such a strange name for a nation. For me, it's like the Comrade President declaring that he was now renaming the Democratic People's Republic of the United Socialist States of Pridnestrovia into the Democratic People's Republic of the United Socialist States of Stepan Stepanenko. But it's their country, not mine, so I shall criticize their nation's name no further. Let's get on with the game proper, actually.

It was a calm and sedate game, to be honest. It felt nothing like a playoff game. It even felt like just a tune-up game between two teams trying to keep fitness in between the winter break (not like the PGSL has a winter break yet). There really wasn't that much to talk about, to be honest. Bongo Johnson started off the game with a field goal from 32 yards away, but that was the only points that they would ever score in the game. Not that we were able to score more. Actually, though, we did, but I'd say that that's beyond the point, or is it? (No, it definitely is beyond the point.) Pridnestrovia finally scored in the second quarter, a field goal from 40 yards that Wislaw Sokoloff made easily with room to spare. Then things heated up in the third quarter with Stan Serban first throwing a 23-yard touchdown pass to Guntram Rosenfeld before Sokoloff then kicked another field goal from 35 yards away. Our defense held itself together through the rest of the game, and then Stan Serban himself finally killed off the game with a 6-yard rushing touchdown on 3rd and goal at the Bongo Johnsonians' 5-yard line. Isn't it amazing?

World Bowl XXXIV Playoffs: Quarterfinal Stage

Pridnestrovia      7  3 10  7  27
South Covello      3  3  3  7  16

The win against Bongo Johnson saw us through to the quarterfinals, where we were drawn against South Covello. Ah, yes, South Covello, The Nation Formerly Known as Gregoryisgodistan. Da, Gregoryisgodistan is a strong nation when it comes to gridiron football, but their revolutionary movement appeared to have leached some strength and motivation out of the team at the moment. Meanwhile, Pridnestrovia was on a good run of form at the moment following victories against Greater Vakolicci Haven and Bongo Johnson. That didn't mean that the team wasn't taking the Covelloans (Covellans? Southerners? What?) seriously; they were. You have to when you're a team playing for honor and glory. And this game didn't disappoint.

South Covello got the ball rolling with a 29-yard field goal on their opening drive. Pridnestrovia replied with a touchdown from Vyacheslav Kozel to give the Democratic People's Republic a 4-point lead. Pridnestrovia then increased their lead to seven with a 47-yard field goal from Wislaw Sokoloff, but South Covello replied with a field goal of their own, this one from just 18 yards away. But then everything changed in the third quarter, just like in the previous game against Bongo Johnson. This time it was Wislaw Sokoloff's 40-yard field goal that started off the storm of points on the board for Pridnestrovia, and then it was Valentin Sevyk's turn to score another touchdown from a Stan Serban pass to definitely put Pridnestrovia in the driving seat of this contest. South Covello tried to respond with a field goal in the third quarter and a rushing touchdown from their fullback in the fourth, but Valentin Sevyk's second touchdown of the game was eventually enough to finally see the Pridnestrovian Republic through to the semifinals.

The semifinals is always the part in the playoffs where, if there is a third place game also to be played before the final, I finally get to relax a little bit because it means that the team will have two chances of winning a trophy. Win the semifinals and the team has a chance to win the World Bowl itself. Lose the semifinal, and well, there's still bronze to aim for. Abanhfleft has always had a reputation for winning bronze and not much else although they have already managed to win the World Bowl once. Unfortunately for them, they won't be able to win this one as they have been eliminated from the competition by Newmanistan. Incidentally speaking, Newmanistan will be our opponent in the semifinal to be held in Herzegovina City in Banija. Here's to hoping for a good showing by the team against the Rockets. Some people might say that our team's Fleftic coaches will look to avenge their country's loss against the Newmanistanis, but I personally just want our team to win. Is that too much to ask?

Oh, and before I go, I finally have some news from the PGSL. Apparently they have misplaced the letters of intent from their Lycrabon invitees which led them to the erroneous conclusion that the Lycrabonians might be delaying their entry into the PGSL Draft, or so my friend in the PGSL tells me. And that's all for me tonight, folks, friends, comrades. I will be coming to you from Herzegovina City to give you my recap of the World Bowl XXXIV semifinal between Pridnestrovia and Newmanistan. And until then, my friends, До свидания.

by **Free Republics** » Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:46 am

Consul's Mansion
Republica

Adelfo Loggia, director of the Republican Intelligence Agency (RIA) had made a most unexpected appearance at the Consul's Mansion. The RIA closely monitored all international communications as standard practice and were stunned upon intercepting the latest message from the Main Nation Ministry to Sporting World's Jasper Chuter. In this message, the Main Nation Ministry appeared to imply that journalist Gloria Trentini was being held prisoner and attempted to use this fact to blackmail Mr. Chuter into returning to the Main Nation Ministry, where he would likely be arrested. Mr. Loggia was well aware that such threats would have no impact on Mr. Chuter, who obviously did not have the slightest bit of concern for his now ex-employee whom he had basically sold to the Main Nation Ministry and he had convinced many people that Miss Trentini had gone to the Main Nation Ministry on her own accord and that the alleged email that had been published in the press was a fabrication created by hackers.

While the RIA was well aware that Mr. Chuter's story was mostly a lie, they weren't in the business of embarrassing prominent media figures. The RIA's job was to protect the Free Republics by gathering intelligence on the actions of foreign governments, especially untrustworthy foreign governments like the Main Nation Ministry. However, Mr. Loggia had uncovered evidence of a serious crime here and felt it was something he needed to inform Consul Nicholls about immediately.

The Consul had just returned from a business trip to the Saintlands, where he had concluded a number of deals that would see Nicholls Enterprises invest even more heavily in those nations, especially in the eastern half which had become famous for having some of the hardest-working and most dedicated unskilled laborers in the multiverse. East Saintland was simply a great place to locate factories but West Saintland had become renowned around the multiverse for its proficiency with computers. Feministvs Sanctvsterra had always been known for their computer hacking skills while out of power and now that they were in power, they were especially obsessed with turning West Saintland into an international hub for technology. Both nations were vital business partners for Nicholls Enterprises and what was good for Nicholls Enterprises was good for the Free Republics, as far as Consul Nicholls was concerned.

At this moment, Consul Nicholls had begun reading over the recent legislation passed by the Assembly and Senate, trying to decide whether to sign or veto it. Consul Kyle Bolton, his co-consul, simply had no interest in the job which meant that Consul Nicholls was effectively running the Free Republics by himself while the celebrity-in-chief jetted around the Free Republics, basking in his fame. He was a bit startled when his secretary informed him that the director of the RIA had arrived to speak with him but he wasn't about to refuse to talk to the most powerful spy in the FFR.

Adelfo Loggia - Consul Nicholls, I have uncovered evidence that a foreign government is holding a Republican citizen hostage and attempting to blackmail another.

Consul Robert Nicholls - That is not acceptable. Please brief me on the full details.

Adelfo Loggia - I'm sure you're familiar with Jasper Chuter, the editor of Sporting World.

Consul Robert Nicholls - Yes. I had assumed that the entire email scandal was a hoax invented by a hacker.

Adelfo Loggia - He was hacked by a student from Nejax Republic University. Our sources believe that Julia Trentini, younger sister of Sporting World journalist Gloria Trentini, was behind the hack.

Consul Robert Nicholls - So this entire scandal was just a smart college girl getting revenge on a man who had mistreated her older sister?

Adelfo Loggia - That's part of it but the email that was sent out to Mr. Chuter's entire contact list was actually a real email that he had sent to the Main Nation Ministry.

Consul Robert Nicholls - So, the sleazy editor of a sports magazine is exchanging emails with foreign dictators?

Adelfo Loggia - Yes but its a bit more serious than that. Mr. Peters at the Federal Protection Bureau has learned that Mr. Chuter and Miss Trentini traveled to Main Nation Ministry on a private plane with a large security detail. To the best of our knowledge, Miss Trentini did not return to the Free Republics.

Consul Robert Nicholls - So she actually took a job as a propagandist for a foreign government?

Adelfo Loggia - Actually, it appears that Jasper handed her over to the Main Nation Ministry for money then ran home as soon as he had possession of the money. She is apparently being held captive by the Ministry, which is attempting to blackmail him into returning. Here's a photo of her that they sent to Mr. Chuter.

Mr. Loggia handed the photo of Miss Trentini over to the Consul.

Consul Robert Nicholls - This is horrible.

Adelfo Loggia - It appears that Mr. Chuter violated the International Kidnapping Prevention Act by transporting Miss Trentini into a repressive dictatorship and handing her over to the regime for cash.

Consul Robert Nicholls - But how do we get the poor girl back?

Adelfo Loggia - I blocked the message from being seen by Mr. Chuter. My advice is to contact the Main Nation Ministry and inform them of your plans to prosecute Chuter and of your need for Miss Trentini to be returned to the Free Republics as an important witness for the prosecution.

Consul Robert Nicholls - I'm not particularly interested in prosecuting the man.

Adelfo Loggia - You don't have to actually prosecute him. Just offer him a deal to drop the prosecution in exchange for his resignation as editor of Sporting World.

Consul Robert Nicholls - Well, he probably does need to resign as editor of Sporting World but I don't think its my place to tell the private sector who they can hire or fire.

Adelfo Loggia - Sporting World's low quality coverage, written by floozies like Miss Trentini, reflects badly on the FFR's image abroad. I'm sure you're more than familiar with how their excessive nationalism harmed our relations with most of Esportiva back in the day.

Consul Robert Nicholls - Yes, I guess you're right. I'll send a message out to the Ministry now requesting the immediate return of Miss Trentini. I'll also inform Mr. Peters at the Federal Protection Agency that Mr. Chuter is to be banned from travelling outside of the FFR until further notice.

Adelfo Loggia - That seems like a good plan, Consul. It is the government's job to protect our nationals and it is the government's job to protect the image of our nation abroad.

To: Ministry of Redacting, Main Nation Ministry
From: Consul Robert Nicholls, Free Republics
Subject: Jasper Chuter's case

To whomever it may concern,

I am writing to inform you of my intent to prosecute Mr. Jasper Chuter for his various crimes. Your most recent communication with Mr. Chuter was intercepted by one of my nation's intelligence agencies and I was briefed on its contents. I am now well aware of the many crimes that Mr. Chuter has committed and I will be prosecuting him to the fullest extent possible under Republican law.

However, I wish to obtain a guilty verdict in this case which means that my prosecutor will have to be able to call forth witnesses who are familiar with Chuter's crimes. According to my nation's intelligence agencies, one of the most important witnesses, Gloria Trentini, is believed to currently be residing in the Main Nation Ministry. I ask that you allow her to return to the Free Republics as soon as possible so that the grand jury that is currently being assembled may hear her testimony regarding the crimes of Jasper Chuter.

Should you wish to prosecute Mr. Chuter yourselves, I must inform you that doing so will not be possible. In advance of his pending arrest, I have ordered him placed on the international travel ban list, preventing him from leaving the Free Republics. If you wish to see Mr. Chuter brought to justice, I ask that you cooperate in my ongoing investigation.

Sincerely,

Consul Robert Nicholls, Free Republics

The Republican National Football Team had found itself in a true war against defending champs Kaboomlandia. After 3 quarters, Kaboomlandia led 6 to 3 on two 50+ yard field goals by their kicker, including a 61 yarder at the end of the first half. The Republican points had come off of a Fedro Colombo interception. Going into the 4th quarter, the Republican offense had failed to achieve even a single first down all game long. It could have been worse but one 54 yard Kaboomlandian field goal attempt had sailed wide right and a 37 yarder had been blocked by Joseph Grimes. Around half the final quarter passed with both teams trading three and outs until finally Matthijn Admiraal found a hole on a running play, got into the Kaboomlandian secondary and ran over their free safety en route to an 84 yard touchdown run. Dean Kevin's extra point attempt was good and the FFR suddenly led the game 10 to 6.

After Dean Kevin launched a touchback out of the end zone, Kaboomlandia's offense marched down the field, methodically picking apart the Republican defense. With just 32 seconds left on the clock, they handed the ball to their running back at the 1 yard line. However, as the back was about to cross the plane of the goal line, a Kaboomlandian lineman accidentally elbowed the ball out of his hands. Valentin Immonen scooped up the fumble and took off down the field. With Kaboomlandia's goal line unit in the game, there wasn't any offensive player on the field who was fast enough to catch the inside linebacker, who showboated dangerously as he crossed the goal line to put the Republicans up 17 to 6, sealing the victory. After the kickoff, Kaboomlandia attempted a Hail Mary pass but it was picked off by Stanislav Loncar, who immediately screamed "DOWN!" at the top of his lungs. One Wibe Rus kneel-down wiped out the rest of the clock and the Free Republics advanced to a battle with last year's runner-up, Taeshan. No matter what happened, Jak Hamilton's squad was now guaranteed two more games as Banija had brought back the third place game but they wanted to play for the World Bowl championship, not third place. To get there, they would need to beat a formidable opponent...

by **Main Nation Ministry** » Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:15 pm

To: Consul Robert Nicholls, Free Replubics
From: Ministry of Security and Negiotations
Subject: Jasper Chuter's Case

To avoid paranoia and fears concerning Gloria Trentini,

We simply asked Jasper if we could have the permission to have Gloria Trentini be a part of the nation, in helping with our propaganda departments. If Jasper would have said no, we wouldn't have batted an eye and continued on. However, Jasper revealed his gross behavior and crimes in a letter, seeing that actions had to be made. Our original plan was to arrest Jasper Chuter and obtain Gloria Trentini, however Jasper left before we could have a strike on him.

Gloria Trentini is undergoing our job opportunity that we offered, extracting a sample of her vocal cords and the right side of her brain, however she will be perfectly fine due to the help of our best doctors, where anything missing from her body will be replaced by parts from donors. We will return Gloria unharmed, under certain conditions that we have the emails send by Jasper Chuter released to the public and that we offer Jasper another job opportunity if he finds himself unhappy with the verdict given to him at the trial.

One thing that we also wish to release to the public is your controversial Ending False Accusations Act, that we were disturbed to hear from Gloria, noting that other women could have been involved with Jasper. We will drop off Gloria near some coordinates on the back of this letter near Free Republics in normal attire. Gloria will appear at about 23:00 sharp.

by **Banija** » Sat Jan 06, 2018 5:09 pm

Since everyone RPed early... We'll have some early scores.

So we'll have our cutoff dedicated to a song about the homeland... But that's actually sung by people from the homeland(crazy concept, am I right?

)

Semifinals
Free Republics 7–17 Taeshan
Pridnestrovia 0–6 Newmanistan

Final
(5) Taeshan vs. (11) Newmanistan @ the Stadium of the Restoration in Busukuma, National Capitol Region

Third Place Match
(1) Free Republics vs. (10) Pridnestrovia @ PG Arena in Hoima, Ankole

by **Taeshan** » Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:04 pm

It can only be described as a slugfest for the ages. The number 1 seed in the tournament, vs the second place finisher from the previous tournament. The two best defenses in the tournament facing off against each other with both pushing their offenses along just enough to be the two remaining favorites for the title. For their part the Free Republics is the lone team in the tournament that had been better defensively than the Fitin' Falcons and it showed. They were close to impregnable, but perhaps their biggest weakest would be their offense, both in inability to break the second toughest defense, and in making what little mistakes they did do on the day.

The Fitin' Falcons came to the game ready for a fight, and was it ever a fight. The Falcons defense should be credited the most on the day continually keeping the game in the balance. Multiple defensive stops including the big first half interception from Declan Stewart which set up the Sam Clentimack to Kyle Trout first half touchdown. For their part the Free Republics would equalize before half, but the Falcons would take an early second half lead thanks to a 47 yard Martin Xavier Field Goal. At the end of the game that would prove to be all the Falcons had needed, but late in the 3rd Parson Newberry rushed in from 10 out to get the Falcons a cushion. With the defense the Falcons have that 10 points was enough as they rolled through the fourth quarter and kept the Free Republics from continuing their undefeated season.

Now the Falcons face an interesting final against a familiar international opponent in Newmanistan. While the two haven't met in anything of important in many decades, both our important historic side in Football, and in many sports besides that. Taeshan fans of course will remember the many shouts of "You Can't Beat Us" from Newmanistan faithful, and the side will surely hope that this final will buck that trend. For their part the Rockets impressively rolled through their playoff bracket side, shutting out Pridnestrovia in their semi-final after wins over Greater Vakolicci Haven, and Abahnfleft before that. They impressively finished 2nd in their group behind Drawkland and above Azadeshia thanks to Head to head tiebreakers. They are impressively playing the best football of the year at the right moment, much like the Falcons. It will be a big matchup as the sides look to add to their trophy cases, with at least silver certain, but much more wanted.

by **Newmanistan** » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:50 pm

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROCKETS PLAYING FOR TITLE

by Brianne Henry,

There was a time, very long ago, when your grandparents and great-grandparents, or even older generations were treated to battles in many different sports between Newmanistan and Taeshan. Most of them, ended up with a common result, and that would be a Rockets victory. It did not matter if Taeshan was the far better ranked team, somehow, the result was almost always in our favor. This led to the chant of “You Can’t Beat Us!” being commonly heard across Newmanistanian stadiums when the teams met, and it always seemed to be true. Those are days that have long since past, and the two nations have not played in anything of significance in a very long time. Much of that was because Newmanistan stayed out of the international sporting scene for quite some time, and even Taeshan has cut down on some of the sports they participate in as well. When Newmanistan returned to the World Bowl for World 31, Taeshan was also a participant, but the nations had not crossed paths previously. Despite many of the most epic games between the two nations being in baseball, Taeshan is no longer a participant in the World Baseball Classic, although they are a World Baseball Classic Hall of Fame nation. Therefore, it would have to be football that saw the rematch between the two nations. But as was the case in the past, the two would “go big” for this game. The reunion of acquaintances would not come in the group stages, it comes in the title game for World Bowl 34. One of these nations will become a World Bowl champion. Hopefully, the fans in Banija are ready for this.

To get to this point, the Rockets took on the high-powered offense of Pridnestrovia while Taeshan took on the unstoppable defense of the Free Republics. Taeshan won their game impressively, 17-7, while the Rockets shut out their opponent, 6-0. Looking at the Rockets again, we see the name Michael Krizman appearing as the main scorer, connecting on a 41-yard field goal in the second quarter, and a 47-yarder in the third. The offense was stifled for most of the game, but Alex Nelligan was again smart, and they would never turn the game over. As for Pridnestrovia, they really never seemed to have it together, almost as if they were so amped up at having defeated South Covello, that they just were not able to equal the compete level that the Rockets had. Pridnestrovia did not get the ball past midfield until the third quarter, and in the fourth, when desperation started to set in, they became a little more productive, but saw two drives end up in picks, including the seventh of the World Bowl from Taeshawn Gilles. Newmanistan still has only scored one touchdown in the playoffs, and Nelligan has not yet had a TD pass in the playoffs. Those are numbers that do not normally put you in the title game. At the same time, throwing zero interceptions is that type of number, and a big reason why the offense has been good enough while the defense has been absolutely exceptional. It also does not hurt that Krizman has connected on all of his field goal attempts thus far, in the entire World Bowl. Taeshan’s 17 points against Free Republics were two less then the Free Republics conceded for the entire 10-game group stage. Getting to a game like this means that you need to be peaking at the right time, and for the Rockets and the Fitin’ Falcons, this has certainly been the case.

Let’s now take a deep look at the Fitin’ Falcons:

Like the Rockets, Taeshan did not officially clinch their playoff berth until the last day, but they were in better shape then we were going into the game. They entered that day tied with Cosumar for the group lead, at 7-2, and had Lisander sitting a game behind them at 6-3. This led to a fascinating matchup between Taeshan and Lisander, being played in Taeshan. It was not necessarily a do-or-die game for the Falcons, as they could lose and still advance, they just could not lose by more then 10 points. That would prove to be not a problem, as they team comfortably won the game by the score of 17-3, getting contributions from both the offense and the defense. The victory not only secured the playoff berth, but also had them clinch the group outright, as they had the tiebreaker over Cosumar. During the group stage, Taeshan scored 202 points, about 50 less that we did, but showed even stronger defensive prowess by allowing just 68 points, which is about four touchdowns less then we conceded. Defense continued to be a strength of the team, as they shut down the Royal Kingdom Of Quebec 16-0 in the first round, before some late game heroics saw them get by the Alpine Union, 13-10, in the quarterfinals. A late Alpine Union touchdown seemed as though it might send the game into OT, but the Fitin’ Falcons dug down and worked a two minute drill in an efficient fashion, setting up a Martin Xavier field goal as the final seconds ticked off the clock. They would use this momentum to defeat the Free Republics 17-7, in order to get here.

They are getting it done much like we are, with efficient offense and a dominating defense. 26-year old QB Sam Clentimack, does not always have his name in the paper as being the main reason the Falcons have won, but like his Rockets counterpart, Alex Nelligan, Clentimack has played smart football. RB Parson Newberry has played well, and the receiving corps has made the big play from time to time, such as Angel Herrara’s long score in that big win they had over Lisander in matchday 10. When Clentimack has been off his game, such as early against the Alpine Union, he has had the defense step up. In many ways, this is a story that sounds familiar to us, because it reflects our own fortunes as well. In fact, you look at some of the fortunes the Fitin Falcons have had to get here, it is almost like looking in the mirror on our campaign. Coach Marvin Dineen has been tight-lipped when asked about Taeshan, but has told us that, “They are playing their best football right now. They had to win late in the group stage to get to the playoffs, and once they did, they have been on great form. You can say that a lot of what they have done lately is pretty similar to what we have done. They don’t make mistakes and do not hurt themselves, and are certainly worthy of getting to where they have gotten thus far.”

The most fascinating storyline about the Newmanistan vs Taeshan World Bowl 34 final is the history that goes along with it. Both nations participated in the first ever World Bowl, but neither have ever won the World Bowl. Taeshan won a competition prior to the inception of the World Bowl called the World Gridiron Championships, which is considered by other nations to be World Bowl 0, but in our record books, neither has a title. Fans at the Stadium of the Restoration in Busukuma will get to see the long drought of one of these two nations end. The players on both sides know what’s on the line and will play with an intense level of passion.

Many Newmanistanians will be in attendance, and this will include some of our baseball stars, such as Courtney Duvall, the MVP of World Baseball Classic 41. Duvall told us that she “couldn’t miss this game. I know what it was like to bring back one title for the Empire after the long hiatus, and what it meant. It was a little different in baseball, because it was adding to our past accolades. For the football team, I can only imagine what it is like, because they can do something that we have never done before.” Infielder Kayla Carey will also be there, telling me that, “It’s about as close as I can get to seeing us play Taeshan in something. I have read so much about them. I am a football fan too, so I definitely want to support our team and would love for them to win this title.” Quarterback Alex Nelligan welcomes the celebrity fans that will be in attendance but tells me that his focus will be on the field, “I am thankful for their support. They showed the world that Newmanistan can be champions, but that was in a sport where it has happened before. We want to begin our own legacy. We have proven a lot of people wrong so far, but now want to go from proving them wrong to proving them really, really wrong.”

It will be a great time, and hopefully it will be our Rockets that finally get that long-coveted World Bowl title. It’s been a long time, for sure.

To get you further in the mood, myself and many others around at the Rocket Report put together our opinions about how we think this game will go....

Brianne Henry: Starting with my own projections, I can see two teams that play smart football starting conservatively early on. Neither Alex Nelligan nor Sam Clentimack are going to put their teams in hard way, and the game becomes a battle of the kickers for the first half. Krizman hits two, and Martin Xavier gets one, and the Rockets hold a 6-3 lead into the break. Taeshan finds the end zone in the third quarter, but the Rockets get another field goal, and the a touchdown in the fourth that is set up by getting great field position thanks to a defensive stand. Newmanistan wins, 16-10.

Taylor Larson (Junior writer of major events; senior writer of minor events): Well to start, I am glad that I get to share my opinions about the World Bowl. I have really enjoyed watching the Rockets, and feel that a game against Taeshan is a truly epic way to finish this one off. We have to, grudgingly, give Taeshan credit for the experience that they have coming into the tournament, considering they went to the final last year. They are hot, just like our Rockets. My heart wants to say the Rockets, but we might need to lose one before we win one. Then I remember, we used to always beat Taeshan. So, Newmanistan finds a way, 17-16.

Rachel Davis (Senior Basketball writer): We should be proud of how far our team has made it. It is an accomplishment. Unfortunately, Taeshan is the better team. They win, 13-6.

Dave Anderson (Chief Editor): This game will not be exciting for those who want to watch offensive football. There will be no offense as these two defenses impress. The game will be won thanks to a defensive touchdown, the only question will be which team gets it. I like how a player like Taeshawn Gilles has three pick-six’s already. Surely though, the Fitin’ Falcons have the same type of people on that team. I see a 7-3 final score. Who gets the seven? I am completely unsure, but I can’t go against our Rockets.

Nicole Pattison (Brianne & Taylor’s makeup artist): Yeah well, I don’t really know. I do not know why I am being asked to give my opinion on this game. I have heard that we always beat Taeshan, so I predict we will win. They want a score, I don’t know, how about 11-4. That sound like a good football score?

Grayson Nugent (Cameraman): Not really, Nicole. I have to think about that always beating Taeshan bit, and that was an eternity ago. Who even remembers that? I don’t, and with also those years that have passed, there is going to be a shift. Hate me if you want, but this would be a sweet way for the Fitin Falcons to win their title. I want to be wrong, but I have to go with Taeshan with a solid 20-7 win over our Rockets.

Daniel Brown (Cameraman): I have to agree with Grayson. Honestly, I think Newmanistan has been very fortunate with the way other playoff results have gone down, making it seem like they have been playing better then they are. They are still too dependent on field goals. Now, they are playing against a nation that is also hungry to win a real World Bowl title so they can stop calling World Bowl 0 a World Bowl. Taeshan wins, 27-24.

John Bennett (Janitor): I do think the Rockets have been too dependent on field goals, but they are moving the ball, and I think they get three drives against Taeshan that result in points. If two are field goals, that’s 13, and I think that might be enough as we win a 13-10 thriller.

Jorge Ramos (Security): It is an entertaining game, and I think what will happen is that both teams are going to look to surprise the other and look to play a more offensive game. Therefore, this becomes a much higher scoring game then my co-workers are predicting. If the game becomes a shootout, I believe the Rockets, based on some of the big games they had, are more prepared to win such a game. Newmanistan takes it 41-31.

by **Izmedu** » Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:27 pm

(OOC: I was invited by the host, Banija, to post a halftime show here. I initially intended just to RP my WorldVision winners performing their winning song for halftime, but I thought... Why not construct something close to a fuller one like they do in the RL Super Bowl? For purposes of time though, only the WorldVision winning song has the full RP going for it.

I thank Banija immensely for allowing this cross-community RP opportunity to happen

Enjoy!)

Winning WorldVision really does get you places, doesn't it?

69,000 people... The size and scale of the halftime show's audience in Banija was larger than what Luka Brekalo and Tatjana could've ever envisioned on their lonesome as their performance time in the halftime show of the World Bowl finals approached. Their management teams didn't expect such an invitation; and neither did the two artists themselves. When Luka and Tatjana returned home, they got the hero's welcome as suited by any Izmeduan artist returning home from WorldVision with the added effect of the winner's aura being added upon them. While their winning entry, “A Way Out,” managed to make mincemeat of the Izmeduan charts (and has since been certified 5x Platinum and is fast approaching challenging the title of being the best-selling WorldVision entry in Izmedu.) However, as with all things with Izmedu, past glories are moved towards the books in a rapid fashion. Luka and Tatjana would quickly return to their solo careers, but they never forgot about their winning entry and moment. However, a stroke of fate quickly befell upon them that would allow Luka and Tatjana to perform their entry one more time together in front of a large audience, and it was precisely that invitation to perform at the World Bowl in Banija that managed to spark it.

Waiting in the wings at the Stadium of the Restoration, Luka and Tatjana felt like they were performing in WorldVision all over again. Of course, the World Bowl is a far more different context than the song contest they competed in. Even though this was a part of the show now dedicated to reprising their winning song, the attention wouldn't solely be focused on them even during the performance. Tonight's concerns were all about Taeshan vs Newmanistan in the final game of the World Bowl. While there wasn't the pressure of results on their head, Luka and Tatjana knew that they had their work cut out for them when it came to impressing a worldwide audience that were composed of entirely different countries that the Izmeduan sphere simply wasn't even familiar with. Being in Banija itself was an initially disconcerting, yet immensely fun experience for both of them.

With the stage all set up for them, Luka & Tatjana looked at each other one last time... Considering that the stage configuration for the Stadium of the Restoration would be far different than when they originally performed in, a new performance concept had to be developed from the ground up to accommodate the new setup. Additionally, there was now the pressure of this being the largest audience that both have performed to in their careers. Even if the crowd and the viewing audiences at home were likely to keep their attention onto the game, they could not slack off. They had a 12 minute set that would culminate into a reprise of their WorldVision winning song. Each would perform one short snippet of their hit songs that served as an introductory note to “A Way Out.”

This could either be a game-changing moment for their careers, or it could wilt off into the history books as a footnote... Regardless, Luka and Tatjana gave each other a tight hug as the announcer proudly said both of their names.

It was go-time...

The Stadium of the Restoration was pitch black as the halftime show commenced. The stage for the halftime show was a platform that covered a somewhat considerable part of the Gridiron field, placed in the center to allow for both artists to have maximum movement. On broadcast, a black and white photo of Luka and Tatjana flashed to the viewers at home for a few seconds before fading to a view of the Stadium of the Restoration itself. After the brief introductory sequence, the camera view faded to the innards of the Stadium itself, a roaring cheer that quieted down as a spotlight began to shine down on the location of the platform. A ghostly spotlight shined on Luka as he seemed to be holding a microphone with an intense hold on it. The camera zoomed in on him slightly as he gazed at it, the spotlight began to intensify...

Luka Brekalo - All Lies
Tune: Logic - Everybody

The first song for the halftime show was Luka's newest single, “All Lies.” The song itself was unlike the WorldVision winning song that he was so associated with, the lyrics directly attacking Izmeduan cultural flaws and taking to the task the internal strife and discrimination. However, above all else, the song itself was a continuation of Luka's personal narrative trying to navigate that part of his country's society. The performance of the song was a reflection of that, with the stage platform lit up in a dark blood red as he aggressively rapped to the camera for the first minute of the song. He was able to match the modulations of the studio version as Luka mostly played to the edge of the stage, rapping these words to the audience on the ground.

For the second half of the song, a few performers came on the stage beginning to craft a narrative dance that matched the song's narrative. Timed to Luka's aggressive raps as he moved towards the center of the stage, there were a series of dancers that were actively trying to 'attack' the other dancers that looked like they were in ragged clothing. The motions were all in staccato especially at the song's last minute; the dancers beginning to move in only 'broken' motions as the stage platform lit up from blood red to a maroon. When Luka ceased his rapping, he could only look in knowing horror as the dancers slowly fell to their knees, with a horrific image of one dancer gripping another dancer's arm aggressively. Luka's song ended, and there was only silence in the music for 30 seconds as the camera surveyed the scene. The dancers were frozen in position as Luka himself could only look up, his spotlight dimming, but his eyes were tormented by the conflicting emotions of shame, guilt, and hatred.

A then pre-recorded statement by Luka started to play, a statement he recorded just for this performance: “Are we all... Consumed by hatred for one another? What use... what use is there in living? Are things as hopeless as they seem?” As his statement played, the same words appeared as scribbles on the screen floors, being displayed prominently and being 'written' as Luka's recorded voice said that.

Tatjana - Never Lose Your Strength
Tune: Alessia Cara - Scars To Your Beautiful (Acoustic)

The camera then quickly faded to a side of the large stage where another performer stood, Tatjana. A soft acoustic guitar strum resonated through the Stadium of the Restoration. The song she would be performing was “Never Lose Your Strength,” one of her signature songs now sung as an acoustic counter-point to Luka's earlier rap song. Conceptually, Tatjana's song was an empowerment anthem about finding one's strength even through harrowing events. Tatjana would usually stage this song with bright lights and soaring production; but she decided to keep it intimate and instead, only had an acoustic instrumental accompany her. This showed through the performance of the song, where the camera focused on views that accentuated the intimate intensity of the performance.

For the song, the Stadium of the Restoration was bathed in a soft yellow light, as streaks of yellow lights began to flash through the platform's various screens on the floor. Tatjana embellished the song with powerfully performed vocals, investing as much energy as she could to each note. She would sing to this song to the audience for the first half. However, as she reached the song's bridge, she turned around and sang to Luka's direction... This was where a broadcast trick was pulled off, a seamless 'split screen' with no demarcations occurred where the left side of the broadcast was a view of Luka standing, a ghost of a spotlight shining on him. This then was complemented by Tatjana singing the song towards his direction, a sideways view of her face at present. This effect then faded with Tatjana reaching out her free arm towards Luka at the end of the song.

When Tatjana's song ended, the camera faded back to a view of Luka walking through the seemingly empty stage... He looked absolutely lost as somewhat exaggerated audio of his footsteps played throughout the stadium, with a soft and protracted beeping emphasizing the silence of this moment. At the end of those 15 seconds, Luka fell to his knees, with both hands on the floor prepared to punch them... As he was about to, he caught sight of the camera at that moment, stopping it at its tracks.

Luka Brekalo & Tatjana - A Way Out
Tune: Logic ft. Alessia Cara & Khalid - 1-800-273-8255
Click here for the WorldVision Performance

The stadium lights began to glow into a haunting white as the familiar strains of “A Way Out” began to play... Owing to the much different acoustics of the Stadium of the Restoration, the solemn organs resonated with a slight echo effect as they set the stage for the Izmeduan winning entry. This was then marked with burgeoning orchestra that was timed with the camera taking a farther view of the stage, which was lit up with holograms of people walking around Luka, flashing and phasing through him, 'disappearing' when they were at a far enough distance from him. Then, 20 seconds in, the camera faded to a close view of him, and he began to sing...

Strung out and hopeless
Reached the end of my line
Don't know if I can take much more
Sinking deeper into pain
(Feel this right now?)
I can't even smile
Or survive just one day
This weight on my chest stops me dead
Telling me that I should die

As he sang the song's now iconic pre-chorus, Luka held one hand up as his voice boomed with a resonance and his strength he hadn't felt since he performed this very song in WorldVision. The holograms walking around him 'ceased,' most of them displaying happy scenes that stood in stark contrast to the despair that Luka displayed. The camera alternated between intimate side views of his face to wider views of the stage. At the second half of the hook, Luka stepped forward slightly, putting a hand to his chest as his expression was visibly stirred by singing the final lines of these verses.

There ain't no way out of this
There ain't no way out of this
Too pathetic to survive
I don't deserve life
There ain't no way out of this
There ain't no way out of this
I don't deserve life
I've never been worthy

The transition from hook to chorus was a fast one, with the lights in the stadium becoming slightly brighter and training themselves on the stage. The music itself rumbled with an intensity that only increased with the slight echoes, the playback orchestral instrumentation filling the stadium with the solemn mood this song required, that were mixed in with heart-pounding, intense, yet soft beats. Luka passionately sang this chorus as he began to step forward, the camera view now taking a much more dynamic view of him as the stage platform itself began to shine gray. The screen floors that Luka were standing on were now displaying a concrete road in black and white, one stained with cracks and dark marks. The chorus' end was marked with Luka looking at the camera with a pleading look, before craning his head down and holding his chest once more.

Spent my life seeing my name trampled over and shit on
To the point where I can't stand to even breathe without breaking down
I've driven away so many, too many, too many
I'm alone with no one I can call for help
I'm deserted and I know it's my fault
No shoulder to cry on, no one telling me it's okay
No embrace, no shelter, no one I know
They only care if you're an easy fix

With the first verse of the song at hand, Luka rapped this verse with a ferocity and passion to the point that each word caused him to move his body forwards and backwards. He was receding inwards as his darkest thoughts were being replayed in this song, having to put his free hand close to his face to help him concentrate lest he risked emotional breakdown. The camera itself stayed close to Luka the entire time, emphasizing a sideways view as his head mostly down, but the emotion in his eyes and body language were evident. He was hunched over, his eyes seeping with the pain of a survivor, and his hands reaching out to the audience for someone to help him. However, the holograms remained frozen during the rap, with some even disappearing at the end of each line.

Strung out and hopeless
Reached the end of my line
Don't know if I can take much more
Sinking deeper into pain
(Feel this right now?)
I can't even smile
Or survive just one day
This weight on my chest stops me dead
Telling me that I should die

The instrumentation turned to a haunting bent with the reprise of the pre-chorus, the camera taking a wide sweeping view as Luka sang these lines. It was during this pre-chorus that the holograms began to move once more, appearing in an almost mass number as they were deliberately phasing through Luka through lines such as 'sinking deeper into pain.' At the last two lines, he could be seen actually visibly reaching out as he sang 'weight on my chest stops me dead,' before retracting that hand at the last line. The scene further emphasized his loneliness, a derelict expression on his face as his eyes gazed at the disappearing holograms.

Maybe there is a way out
Maybe there is a way out
There's more to life than I know
More than just this pain
Maybe there is a way out
Maybe there is a way out
A light I can't see
(A light you will see)
Am I worthy of hope?

Similar to the original WorldVision performance, streaks of yellow light began to disrupt the gray overtones in the Stadium of the Restoration. Despite the earlier pre-chorus signifying Luka's further isolation, the streaks of yellow light caused hope to flash in his eyes. While the camera was focused on his performance of this modified chorus, Tatjana herself was beginning to make a move. She was under the dark shadows of darkness for most of Luka's performance, but one soft line from her as Luka sang the chorus made Tatjana's presence known to the audience in the stadium. By the end of the chorus, the spotlight on Luka dimmed to a darkened one as the camera moved smoothly to a closer view of Tatjana, who was now walking to Luka with a look of caring and compassion.

I know that feel you fear
That shame of feeling like you are unloved
I know it may ring true to you
But I care
'Cause I see a light in you
You are worthy, you deserve life
It's okay if you need to cry out
It shows just how strong you are to me
You don't need to be afraid
I'll be with you at every step

Tatjana slowly walked up to Luka as a spotlight shined on her, the streaks of yellow further mixing with the haunting white lights that once dominated the stadium. The camera circled around them both, zooming out only slightly to emphasize the scale of the stadium. With that same look of caring, Tatjana gazed at Luka directly as the rapper himself was looking away, as if not believing what Tatjana was singing. By the second half of the verse, Tatjana was gripping Luka's shoulder, singing these words directly to him. It was that motion that made Luka look back, with him taking stock and absorbing each and every single one of Tatjana's words. The lights gradually turned into a further golden yellow as Tatjana furhter sang...

I wanna believe every word, every last one
Been too lost in myself to see that there's more
I don't have to breathe without crying
I've found my reason to live again
I'm still hurting
My mind won't let go
I hope you're right that I'm strong
And that I deserve to live this life

For Luka's verse, both artists remained in close physical contact with each other. Luka rapped and sang these words with a pleading tone, his eyes visibly watering as Tatjana continued to hold his shoulder. She herself was mouthing the lyrics back to him as he rapped, even repeating some of the lines vocally. By the second half of this verse, Luka would turn away, but Tatjana was there to make sure that he wasn't completely alone. That look of hope in his eyes further intensified in reaction to the golden lights. On the screen floor, gone was the concrete road, instead being slowly replaced by black and white photos of fans worldwide who shared their stories to Luka and Tatjana.

Strung out and hopeless
Reached the end of my line
Don't know if I can take much more
Sinking deeper into pain
(Feel this right now?)
I can't even smile
Or survive just one day
This weight on my chest stops me dead
Telling me that I should die

The pre-chorus' final refrain put the focus squarely on Luka once more as the camera took a mostly wide view of the stage, with various faces being displayed on the screen floor. With those pictures now in Luka's mind, he was not only singing from his own pain, but from the pain that he personally read as he recounted stories of fans' experiences with depression, anxiety, suicide, and other mental health issues. He was singing this pre-chorus for them, using that pain as a way to put into words the pain of feeling locked up inside. While the darker nature of the pre-chorus stood in stark contrast to the more hopeful lights in the stadium, Luka still sang these lines with a passion, hoping to get this message across to the world: you are not alone.

There is a way out to the light
There is a way out to the light
It's that hope you feel inside
It's that hope inside
There is a way out to the light
There is a way out to the light
It's that hope inside
It's that hope inside

At this chorus, the pictures on the screen floor ceased their slideshow as there was a greater urgency to the instrumentation. Luka was almost close to the edge of the platform, passionately singing this chorus. Then, the beats were removed at the second half of the chorus, resorting only back to the back to the orchestra. At precisely that second half, the camera took a long view of the stage, with the lights bright enough for the audience to witness a crowd of around 20 people amass on stage. These 20, especially invited by Tatjana and Luka themselves, were the people that had their pictures shown on the stage. They were people like Luka, those who survived a straining ordeal with mental health, and lived on to see the next day.

When the instrumental interlude commenced, Luka, Tatjana, and that crowd of 20 all converged to the center of the stage as the lights had truly transformed into gold. Luka and Tatjana were now holding onto each other, instead of being separated as in with the original WorldVision performance. The camera panned and faded to shots of the people on the stage, with some within the crowd surrounding Luka and Tatjana looking visibly moved to just be standing on stage. Then, at the advent of the song's final and sung verse, the camera shot then faded to Luka staring into the distance...

Sometimes I still lose myself
Breaking down as I try to heal
But I just gotta push through without fail
Knowing that I won't end this battle
I'm still pushing on
Despite the fact that I'm broken
I can't give up hope now
I'll see that light through to the very end
Gotta keep saying
Just gotta keep...
I'll see that light through to the very end

With Tatjana by his side near him, Luka found it much easier to navigate singing this final verse. Regardless, his voice outpoured emotion. As he sang, memories of his own recovery process rang through his mind. Numerous nights in the hospital, hours of therapy from childhood to adulthood, and the very experience of writing this song all went through his head. As he thought this, Tatjana herself could be seen on the verge of tears, as were some of the people that surrounded them on stage. At the final five lines of the song, he started to think back to the winning moment in WorldVision... By then, his voice was audibly wavering, but Luka kept it centered and on-point right to the end. At the end of the song, one could see Luka visibly breathing as the lights faded.

“Thank you Banija! Thank you World Bowl!!!” Luka said.

While the rest of the night would be focused on Taeshan vs Newmanistan, Luka and Tatjana would not forget the experience of having that many people cheer for them. Like WorldVision, this was a night they wouldn't forget. Both of them gazed at the crowd one last time before embracing into a hug on stage.

As someone whose been told most of their life that they never stood a chance... Being here proves to me that we can overcome even the greatest struggles. Our voices in our heads may break us, but there's always a way out. We... we will all be okay. We will all survive.

by **Free Republics** » Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:27 pm

Consul Nicholls read the response from the Main Nation Ministry and was surprised to discover that his intelligence services had made a mistake. They had erroneously assumed that Gloria Trentini, the former Sporting World journalist, was being held against her will after having been effectively kidnapped in exchange for cash by Jasper Chuter. Instead, it turned out that she had received a job opportunity. However, Consul Nicholls still decided to go through with his plan to force Mr. Chuter to resign at Sporting World.

Jasper Chuter was sitting in the Sporting World offices receiving oral sex from one of his employees when suddenly the phone started ringing. She stopped abruptly, much to Jasper's displeasure, as he answered the phone.

Jasper Chuter - Hello?

Consul Nicholls - Hello, Mr. Chuter. This is Consul Nicholls.

Jasper Chuter - What do you need, Mr. Consul?

Consul Nicholls - I'll just cut to the chase. The Attorney General is preparing to indict you on charges of transporting a woman across international lines under false pretenses and several other technicalities.

Jasper Chuter - Are you serious? I've done nothing wrong!

Consul Nicholls - I'm calling to offer you a deal. As you may be aware, Sporting World Magazine has harmed the image of our Federation abroad over the years and this current "scandal" is leading to international pressure to weaken our protections for the accused in sex crime cases.

Jasper Chuter - Who cares what a bunch of foreigners think?

Consul Nicholls - Mr. Chuter, I'm trying to improve our foreign relations and I don't appreciate your magazine making us look like a nation of idiots to the rest of the multiverse. To get to the point, I want you to resign. In exchange, I will see to it that the Attorney General drops the investigation and you are permitted to quietly move on with your life, ideally in a role with a much lower profile.

Jasper Chuter - What if I refuse?

Consul Nicholls - Then, I'll tell the Attorney General to prosecute you and I'll make sure to have Gloria Trentini appear on the stands as a witness.

Jasper Chuter - Gloria Trentini? That slut is in some kind of 3rd world jail right now.

Consul Nicholls - Actually, if you'd bothered to stay, listen to the details and get arrested by that 3rd world hellhole, you'd know that they're apparently doing some kind of scientific project that involves duplicating her voice and her brain. She'll be returning home soon, safe and sound. I've got assurances to that effect from the dictator.

Jasper Chuter - I can't believe those idiots thought I'd actually go back to their shithole of a nation. I only showed up to get their money.

Consul Nicholls - About that, you're going to pay Gloria Trentini a severance of 100,000 thalers out of your personal bank account. That's another condition of our deal.

Jasper Chuter - That's ridiculous! I shouldn't have to pay that slut another penny.

Consul Nicholls - Mr. Chuter, you can either take the deal or leave it but be aware that you will be prosecuted if you don't take the deal. I simply can't permit you to cause any further harm to our foreign relations.

Jasper Chuter - You know what, I'll take your stupid deal.

Consul Nicholls - I'm pleased to hear that. Have a good day, Mr. Chuter.

Consul Nicholls placed his antiquated office phone back on the hook and breathed a sigh of relief. Within the next 24 hours, Jasper Chuter had resigned as the editor of Sporting World and the magazine had begun searching for a replacement...

by **Trans-Dniesters** » Tue Jan 09, 2018 3:39 am

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
PGSL SEASON II PREVIEW - PGSL DRAFT

Finally, the big one has arrived, friends, comrades, and fellow fans in gridiron! Yes, that's right, comrades, I'm talking about none other than the PGSL Draft! After weeks and weeks of waiting, the draft has finally arrived! Yes, comrades, you're not misreading my blog. The PGSL Draft is here! And it's set to be an exciting one, with the potential stars of the PGSL finally making their way to Pridnestrovia to be selected by the eleven teams that have confirmed their participation in the league.

But before we get to the draft itself, let's go over a few rules and regulations regarding the draft. As this is the first ever draft in the history of the PGSL, there will be no trading of draft picks yet. That will probably occur later in the season. But for now, every team has a pick in every round. It has been decided that there will be eight rounds in the draft, with each team being able to pick up to eight players from a pool of over 100. A team can skip over their turn in the draft or declare that they are not picking a player, but as this is the first ever draft in the league, don't expect any of the teams to skip the chance at getting a potential gem into their team. Eight rounds of drafting by eleven teams means that 88 players will be able to sign contracts with their respective PGSL teams immediately, while the others can be approached as undrafted free agents.

As for the order that the teams will be drafting, the lowest teams in the regular season table will pick first. But as the league has expanded with Antakya and Kesselburg joining in on the PGSL fun, they had been allowed to make the first picks, with the actual first team to pick determined by random lottery. (It's Antakya, by the way.) The draft order then follows the regular season table according to when a specific team was knocked out of the playoffs. Dinamo Bender, as winners of the first ever Pridnestrovian Bowl, will pick last in the first round. The order then reverses itself in the second round with the Bowl-winning team (in this case, Dinamo Bender) picking first and the team that picked first in the first round picking last in the second round. So it goes until the eighth round of drafting. Confused yet? I know I am. I will also be providing a key to the teams in the league so you can tell for yourself which team drafted who. I am a rookie at this, so forgive my formatting in advance. Let's get started with the first ever PGSL Draft then.

Team Trigrams

ADM = Admiral Novorossiysk	DIN = Dinamo Bender	RHE = Rheinburg Spartans
ANT = Antakya Hawks	KES = Kesselburger Kestrels	SHE = Sheriff Tiraspol
BRA = Bratsk Dolphins	MAC = Macaresti Gladiators	YER = Yeralenko Torpedoes
CSK = CSKA Tiraspol	NOV = Novonikolaysk Sharks

PGSL Draft First Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
1	Din Goyal	Quarterback	Azadeshia	ANT
2	Kulvir Kapai	Offensive Guard/Defensive End	Azadeshia	KES
3	Ajit Bahodal	Defensive End	Azadeshia	NOV
4	Vijay Kashyap	Offensive/Defensive Tackle	Azadeshia	YER
5	Matt Cohen	Linebacker	Northwest Kalactin	MAC
6	Camilla Fielding	Wide Receiver	Abanhfleft	BRA
7	Ravi Haradas	Defensive Tackle	Azadeshia	SHE
8	Poligrato Arsenio Jr.	Defensive Tackle	Philamer Isle	ADM
9	Jorge Peralta Arconcillo	Cornerback	Abanhfleft	CSK
10	Desiderius Erasmus Mondragon	Strong Safety	Abanhfleft	RHE
11	Garrett McGarvey	Halfback	Abanhfleft	DIN

And the first ever player picked in the PGSL Draft is none other than... Din Goyal of Azadeshia! Din Goyal was picked by the expansion team Antakya Hawks, and being a young and promising quarterback from a country that looks to solidify its status as a rising sporting nation in the multiverse, Goyal will surely be a good fit for the ambitious Hawks. It also helps that the quarterback that they got in the previous expansion draft was a washed-up 34-year-old Fleftic veteran who actually dabbled in rugby union just to maintain fitness and keep himself in a related sport. I have to say that I had my doubts about Din Goyal, though. First off, he was injured in Azadeshia's first ever game in the World Bowl against Newmanistan, sitting out the rest of the group stage, by which stage Azadeshia had already been eliminated. But it appears as if Din has made a full recovery and is now raring to have a go at Pridnestrovia's top gridiron league, the PGSL. What else can you expect from him, though? He wants to prove himself to a greater audience, and the PGSL might just be the league for him to do it. But can his new teammates keep up with him or will everything inevitably fall flat? We will have to find out after the season.

Another interesting note that I got out of the first round of drafting is that the first four picks were all from Azadeshia. I can't say much about how their campaign in the World Bowl went (other than some of the painfully obvious facts like how they were in playoff contention until the final game of the group stage when they went out on a heartbreaking loss to Drawkland and their poor points differential and head-to-head record against Newmanistan. The coaches, managers and owners of the lower-seeded PGSL teams must have seen something in these Azadeshis to convince them to draft them into their teams. I can't say anything as I'm not a coach, a manager, or an owner. Let's go through the rest of the rounds of the draft.

PGSL Draft Second Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
12	Luca Vidakovic	Defensive End	Philamer Isle	DIN
13	Sunder Bhatta	Defensive Tackle	Azadeshia	RHE
14	Johan Manuel Arellano Resgonia	Strong Safety	Philamer Isle	CSK
15	Vivian Fortson	Tight End	Abanhfleft	ADM
16	Meeta Sarwar	Defensive End	Azadeshia	SHE
17	Georgiy Mazovich	Kicker	Pridnestrovia	BRA
18	Victor Fortson	Kicker	Abanhfleft	MAC
19	Lee Jonghwa "Jeffrey"	Quarterback	Philamer Isle	YER
20	Ana Salidhovic	Cornerback	Philamer Isle	NOV
21	Jong Sungkyung "Suzanne"	Tight End	Philamer Isle	KES
22	Valerian Hynes	Fullback	Abanhfleft	ANT

PGSL Draft Third Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
23	Steve Johnson	Offensive Tackle	Northwest Kalactin	ANT
24	Jiarra Kenderson-Reeves	Outside Linebacker	Philamer Isle	KES
25	Roodra Kumar	Outside Linebacker	Azadeshia	NOV
26	Raisa Ermakova	Punter	Pridnestrovia	YER
27	Eric Santos	Defensive Tackle	Northwest Kalactin	MAC
28	Govinda Bagchi	Middle Linebacker	Azadeshia	BRA
29	Walt Wallace	Center	Abanhfleft	SHE
30	Fyodor Rokanov	Free Safety	Pridnestrovia	ADM
31	Ruslan Shevchenko	Wide Receiver	Pridnestrovia	CSK
32	Rustico Darman	Wide Receiver	Philamer Isle	RHE
33	Hassan Valdez	Tight End	Pridnestrovia/Abanhfleft	DIN

PGSL Draft Fourth Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
34	Megh Achaval	Center	Azadeshia	DIN
35	Declan Barnes	Wide Receiver	Lycrabon	RHE
36	Halim Jalalani	Offensive Guard	Pridnestrovia	CSK
37	Bhima Nan	Wide Receiver	Azadeshia	ADM
38	Randolf Peters-Johnson	Cornerback	Philamer Isle	SHE
39	Elena Zebrosjka	Offensive Guard	Philamer Isle	BRA
40	Kim Junpyo "Junior"	Defensive Tackle	Philamer Isle	MAC
41	Ganesh Bagchi	Tight End	Azadeshia	YER
42	Dmitry Rapazovich	Center	Pridnestrovia	NOV
43	Terentiy Mazarevsky	Wide Receiver	Pridnestrovia	KES
44	Navneet Patel	Strong Safety	Azadeshia	ANT

PGSL Draft Fifth Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
45	Anne Roberts-Strachan	Free Safety	Abanhfleft	ANT
46	Maha Patel	Wide Receiver/Cornerback	Azadeshia	KES
47	Ramoncito Guerra	Outside Linebacker	Philamer Isle	NOV
48	Trent North	Center	Abanhfleft	YER
49	Faina Drees	Tight End	Pridnestrovia	MAC
50	Dion Walters	Strong Safety	Abanhfleft	BRA
51	Jelena Pletikosa	Cornerback	Philamer Isle	SHE
52	Shelly Murray	Defensive Tackle	Abanhfleft	ADM
53	Freeman Watson	Center	Abanhfleft	CSK
54	Denis Molochenko	Middle Linebacker	Pridnestrovia	RHE
55	Javier Guerrera	Free Safety	Philamer Isle	DIN

PGSL Draft Sixth Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
56	Paul Ross	Safety/Punt Returner	Northwest Kalactin	DIN
57	Christopher Jericho	Wide Receiver	Philamer Isle	RHE
58	Timofey Berezutskiy	Wide Receiver	Pridnestrovia	CSK
59	Ustin Ustinov	Middle Linebacker	Pridnestrovia	ADM
60	Amara Raj	Cornerback	Azadeshia	SHE
61	Kang Sangdon "Samuel"	Strong Safety	Philamer Isle	BRA
62	Friedrich Doss	Center	Pridnestrovia	MAC
63	Rikard Reznov	Cornerback	Pridnestrovia	YER
64	Kim Dayeong "Dani"	Offensive/Defensive Tackle	Philamer Isle	NOV
65	Ji Eunhye "Eunice"	Halfback	Philamer Isle	KES
66	Amos Kidd	Wide Receiver	Lycrabon	ANT

PGSL Draft Seventh Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
67	Rechell Peters	Defensive End	Philamer Isle	ANT
68	Andrew Parker	Quarterback	Lycrabon	KES
69	Mark Elmon Zuñiga	Offensive Guard	Philamer Isle	NOV
70	Sean Brady	Cornerback	Northwest Kalactin	YER
71	Mishri Sinha	Free Safety	Azadeshia	MAC
72	Risto Rajkovic	Halfback	Philamer Isle	BRA
73	Kanada Srivastav	Fullback/Halfback	Azadeshia	SHE
74	Rochell Pangalanan	Wide Receiver	Philamer Isle	ADM
75	Feliks Amundsen	Middle Linebacker	Pridnestrovia	CSK
76	Brendon Fry	Kicker	Lycrabon	RHE
77	Olaf Ivar Bjarnason	Quarterback	Abanhfleft	DIN

PGSL Draft Eighth Round

Pick	Name	Position	Nation	Team
78	Ustin Novikov	Outside Linebacker	Pridnestrovia	DIN
79	Yannick Friesel-Dallert	Offensive Guard	Pridnestrovia	RHE
80	Georgina Hartzendorf	Punter	Pridnestrovia	CSK
81	Helmut Witsel	Fullback	Pridnestrovia	ADM
82	Grogoda Watumba	Wide Receiver	Copper Cuprum	SHE
83	James Farley	Defensive Tackle	Abanhfleft	BRA
84	Valentin Alipov	Center/Middle Linebacker	Pridnestrovia	MAC
85	Boris Semyonovich	Kicker	Pridnestrovia	YER
86	Barry Trial	Cornerback	Abanhfleft	NOV
87	Konstantin Cherkasov	Free Safety	Pridnestrovia	KES
88	Vladimir Bondarenko	Punter	Pridnestrovia	ANT

And that does it for the PGSL Draft! Din Goyal makes history as the first ever pick in the PGSL Draft, and he is also the first foreign player and first Azadeshian to be selected first in the PGSL Draft. That's an honor that he will surely carry around him for the rest of his life. As for the other end of the draft, the dubious honor of Mr. Irrelevant goes to Vladimir Konstantinovich Bondarenko of the Eggolsheimer Gymnasium's rugby union program. What I find very curious is that Mr. Bondarenko has been listed as a punter when he obviously has the looks of a kicker and a wide receiver, having been the designated kicker of his rugby union team before he made the switch to gridiron football. But who am I to judge?

And that's all from me today. I don't have much comment on the rest of the draft picks unfortunately as I haven't been following them all that much and my main focus has always been the PGSL with a dash of World Bowl when PGSL news has been a bit slow. Speaking of the World Bowl, we were knocked back to the third place playoff by Newmanistan, who scored two field goals at our expense and shut out the normally prolific Stan Serban. We will face off against the Free Republics in the 3PPO, and while I'm not too sure of our chances against the Republicans in the bronze medal game now, I still think that anything can happen, and that Pridnestrovia can still win this thing. Fingers crossed, hoping for the best, trying not to expect the worst, and До свидания.

World Bowl XXXIV: Everything Thread

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