29 November 2017
The Daily Buzz
Grand Council of Parliament, Townside
Weather - Max: 17 Min: 13
The upper house of the Parliament of Townside met today at the behest of the Grand Princes to discuss the threats made to Townside by the terrorist organisation SHOCK from Athara Magarat just over a week ago. Townside was but one of twenty countries across the Isles that were subjected to threats by a youth in combat uniform regarding a 'noble war' on behalf of the indigenous peoples of the isles - so the New Libang Herald reports.
Many of the Lords, both Temporal and Spiritual, were tempted to write these band of hooligans off as nothing more than teenagers taking their edgy teenage angst to another level.
However, the Grand Council was concerned by the Metro Attack that eventuated in The Socialist Republics of Combrekniza following the threats. For that the Grand Council shortly offered their solidarity with the victims of those attacks. Additionally, the Grand Council also noted the statement released by the Vancouvian Congress regarding their stance on SHOCK.
"As many of us in this Grand Council should know, the Free Lands of Vancouvia is not a nation to cower easily. If their Congress finds it fit to say that SHOCK is to be taken seriously, it might be in the best interest of our own Land to follow suit," the Prince of Faraday argued to his fellow Lords.
A motion to condemn SHOCK for their threats and their attacks, and to label them a terrorist organisation in Townside, was introduced by the Prince of Fleming.
It came as a surprise to many that the King of Jenner, the King of Nightingale, the Prince of Faraday and the King of Elmore all seconded the Prince of Fleming's motion. This is unprecedented, as the Five Rulers usually find themselves at odds with one another. Such is the gravity of the situation, so our political commentator says.
Supporting that motion also were the Anglican and Catholic Bishops, the Buddhist Monks and the Kenari Priests. The Bishops stated that those who perpetuate such evil and divisive threats and attacks are evil to the core and have sinned beyond measure - that God and His Kingdom shall elude these sick and depraved individuals forever. The Monks said that SHOCK's actions were regrettable, but that sooner or later, their karma shall catch up with their bad deeds eventually, and they will naturally pay the price for their wrongdoing. The Kenari Priests joined the Christian Bishops and Buddhist Monks with a statement saying that the Constellation of Kenaris no longer shines on these individuals, and that their souls shall be lost forever in the never ending void of the sea.
The Kenari Priests additionally stated that they do not support this war being 'in the name of indigenous peoples'.
"It does not take much effort of deduction to realise that SHOCK's claim of a fight in the name of indigenous people obviously extends to the Ipachi people of Townside. I would like to make it clear now that SHOCK's actions do not speak on behalf of the Ipachi Townsiders. The Ipachi Townsiders reject wholeheartedly the mindless and foolish actions of SHOCK, as they are against everything we Ipachi Townsiders believe and stand for," the Kenari High Priest said as the spiritual leader of many Ipachi Townsiders.
Supporting this statement more vociferously and critically was the Ipachi Elder, the secular leader of the Ipachi Townsiders, who made a passionate speech in the Grand Council that earned him applause from his fellow Lords:
"My fellow Lords of the Grand Council... I have here a letter, undersigned by the five Ipachi Tribal Chiefs, the Chief of the Kenaris Fishing Village, and myself in my capacity as High Chief of Village Kenaris. In this letter addressed to the Grand Princes, our Heroes, of Townside, and this Grand Council in Parliament assembled, we wish to make known our greatest condemnation of the forces of SHOCK for their actions which is, honestly, just stupid and plain dumb...
"However, almost as equally we would like to make known our denouncement of the Arun Valley Protocol, because that false charter, fabricated by some arrogant individuals in Athara Magarat, is by far the most insulting and degrading document to affront the dignity of my people, the Ipachi Townsiders!
"I am sure my fellow Lords are well-acquainted with that unfortunate document, but in case they are not, let me summarise it for you now: it suggests that the Ipachi Townsiders are weak, incompetent and incapable to stand on their own two feet, so much so that we require special attention from the government... that we need special institutions, and a modified education system that will mean we do not learn the lingua franca of our fellow citizen... it speaks as if we are somehow special in our origin that we ought to be held in higher regard than our fellow Townsider simply because of the circumstance of our ancestry.
"Let me remind my fellow Lords of the Great Christmas Island War, which is still very much in the minds of all of us, as it should be. In that war, we, the people of this island, prevailed over the evil pretensions and boundless cruelty of the wretched, self-styled 'Emperor of Christmas Island'. In doing so, we came together as one Townside people, as one people of this united Island, transcending boundaries, religion and race. Black (Ipachi) Townsiders fought alongside the White (British) Townsiders, the Brown (Spanish) Townsiders and the Yellow (Japanese) Townsiders, without regard for the colour of our skin, so much so that when we created our great country, we created one that was truly fair and equal for all.
"Why, I ask, should we end the equality we now enjoy just to satisfy the conceited pretensions of some foreigners west even of Argus? This document seeks to do nothing more than to divide our society between those who came earlier from those who came later. Might I remind those present that the Ipachi Townsiders sailed to this land and settled, in a manner similar to how the British, Spanish and Japanese Townsiders sailed to this land and settled. Just because we came earliest does not mean we should have our own unique land laws, employment regulations and labour laws to set us further apart from our fellow citizens. We are one people, and we only need one Law.
"If my fellow Lords could bear with my ranting for just a bit longer, I would like to say one last thing. This is regarding Athara Magarat's decision to send a certain Cross Hang to somehow convince us to become signatory of their hubris. Of course, foreign diplomats are always welcomed peacefully in Townside, but I would like to warn Mr. Cross Hang ahead of his visit: the Ipachi Townsiders are not a collective of Special Needs individuals. We are a proud and strong race of peoples that is even prouder to be a subset of the great Land of the Town Beside the Sea, and for now and in the years to come, the celestial constellation of Kenaris will shine upon our united island for the glory of all the peoples of our towns beside the sea."
For his speech, the Ipachi Elder received a standing ovation of agreement from his fellow Lords. The Grand Council promptly passed the motion condemning SHOCK, as well as a separate motion expressing their intent to advise the Grand Princes against ratifying the Arun Valley Protocol.
The General Assembly of Parliament, was also summoned around the same time, and is expected to issue a similar stance, as the governing Conservative Party and the official opposition's Liberal Party both expressed condemnation and reservations regarding SHOCK and the Arun Valley Protocol, respectively. Some minor parties in the General Assembly, however, have expressed support for both SHOCK and the Arun Valley Protocol, including the Socialist Party, the Women and Minorities Party and the Green Party. The Grand Princes had earlier expressed that they were both 'unhappy' with SHOCK and the Arun Valley Protocol, while Justice Windeyer of the Royal Court of Townside has explained to the Daily Buzz regarding the redundancy of the Arun Valley Protocol in relation to Townside Law, having thoroughly read the charter. Also, the Federation of Social Justice Warriors - the collective for Townside's far left - have taken to a protest outside the State Library of Townside, in support of SHOCK and the Arun Valley Protocol.
For more news of all this, and more, stay tuned for the next update with the Daily Buzz.
- Martin Cruz of the Daily Buzz, reporting.