[SUBMITTED]Ambassador Inextraordinary and Plen-impotent-iary

[Laeral]

This issue is based upon the difference between politically appointed and career ambassadors. Give it a read, and give me any feedback you have.

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plen-impotent-iary

The Issue
It has recently been discovered that your predecessor had filled numerous ambassadorial positions with under-qualified candidates in an attempt to reward @@HIS@@ followers and supporters. As a result, the ambassador to Wezeltonia was your predecessor's personal masseuse and the ambassador to Brancaland is a shady crime lord with incriminating evidence against your predecessor. It's clear to many that @@NAME@@ could use a change in the ranks of its diplomats.

Validity: Nation has international relations.

1a. (Option Validity: Nations with private business) "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first government official to endorse you, the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ tycoon who donated millions to your campaign, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friends are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense

1b. (Option Validity: No private industry) "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first Party Secretary to endorse your candidacy, the arms dealer who provided us with such useful equipment, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friends are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense

2. "We need to abolish the entire system of ambassadors as political appointees," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has worked in the Foreign Ministry for the past three decades. "Over my 16 tours of duty in the Foreign Service, I've been posted to hellholes like Brasilistan, Marche Noir, and Maxtopia. And then I see some champagne-sipping flunky waltz on in to become the ambassador, despite having never worked a day in their life. Every ambassador should have as much diplomatic experience as I do before being considered for the job."

Effect: Most ambassadors from @@NAME@@ retire only a few years after being appointed

3. @@RANDOMNAME@@, the sole survivor of the infamous Embassy Bombing in Marche Noir, limps into your office with a cane. "It's war out there, @@LEADER@@," @@HE@@ rasps in a broken voice. "The things I've seen, the horrible things I've had to do, the countless nights I've spent awake working on that free-trade agreement have left me a broken @@MAN@@. Bring us home, @@LEADER@@; shutter our embassies abroad and bring us all home."

Effect: News articles are full of heartwarming stories featuring long-time diplomats reuniting with their families and pets

4. "I spy an opportunity..." says your seldom-seen Minister of Whispers, who has somehow appeared besides you. "What our nation needs is for our ambassadors to be trained and equipped for- specialized operations - in foreign nations. Imagine our most elite black-ops agents, striking under cover of darkness to promote my- I mean, our nation's- goals. Think about it. I know you'll make the right choice."

Effect: @@NATION@@'s ambassadors all have steel-gray eyes and an empty soul

The Issue
It has recently been discovered that your predecessor had filled numerous ambassadorial positions with under-qualified candidates in an attempt to reward @@HIS@@ followers and supporters. As a result, the ambassador to Wezeltonia was your predecessor's personal masseuse and the ambassador to Brancaland is a shady crime lord with incriminating evidence against your predecessor. It's clear to many that @@NAME@@ could use a change in the ranks of its diplomats.

Validity: Nation has international relations.

1a. (Option Validity: Capitalistic/Democratic Nations) "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first MP to endorse your candidacy, the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ tycoon who donated millions to your campaign, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friends are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense.

1b. (Option Validity: Communist/Non-democratic Nations) "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first Party Secretary to endorse your candidacy, the arms dealer who provided us with such useful equipment, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friends are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense

2. "We need to abolish the entire system of ambassadors as political appointees," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has worked in the Foreign Ministry for the past three decades. "Over my 16 tours of duty in the Foreign Service, I've been posted to hellholes like Brasilistan, Marche Noir, and Maxtopia. And then I see some champagne-sipping flunky waltz on in to become the ambassador, despite having never worked a day in their life. Every ambassador should have as much diplomatic experience as I do before being considered for the job."

Effect: Most ambassadors from @@NAME@@ retires only a few years after being appointed

3. @@RANDOMNAME@@, the sole survivor of the infamous Embassy Bombing in Marche Noir, limps into your office with a cane. "It's war out there, @@LEADER@@," @@HE@@ rasps in a broken voice. "The things I've seen, the horrible things I've had to do, the countless nights I've spent awake working on that free-trade agreement have left me a broken @@MAN@@." @@HE@@ pulls out a locket containing a small picture of @@HIS@@ beloved and a lock of @@HIS@@ hair, and gazes at it. "I lost the love of my life, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ in the line of duty, valiantly fighting a rear-guard action against insurmountable enemies. Bring us home, @@LEADER@@, shutter our embassies abroad and bring us all home."

Effect: News articles are full of heartwarming stories featuring long-time diplomats reuniting with their families and pets.

4. "I spy an opportunity..." says your seldom-seen Minister of Whispers, who has somehow appeared besides you. "What our nation needs is for our ambassadors to be trained and equipped for- specialized operations - in foreign nations. Imagine our most elite black-ops agents, striking under cover of darkness to promote my- I mean, your- goals. Think about it. I know you'll make the right choice."

Effect: @@NATION@@'s ambassadors all have steel-gray eyes and an empty soul.[/box]

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary

The Issue
It has recently been discovered that your remarkably incompetent predecessor had filled numerous ambassadorial positions with under-qualified candidates in an attempt to reward @@HIS@@ followers and supporters. As a result, the ambassador to Wezeltonia is your predecessor's personal hairdresser, the ambassador to Brancaland is a shady crime lord with incriminating evidence against your predecessor, and the ambassador to Brancaland is the mysterious @@MAN@@ in Red who featured prominently in a sex scandal involving your predecessor. It's clear to many that @@NAME@@ could use a change in the ranks of its diplomats.

Validity: Nation has international relations.

1. "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first MP to endorse your candidacy, the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ tycoon who donated millions to your campaign, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friend is living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense.

2. "We need to abolish the entire system of ambassadors as political appointees." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has worked in the Foreign Ministry for the past three decades. "I joined the Foreign Service as soon as I graduated college as the Assistant Deputy Undersecretary of Public Relations at our embassy to East Lebatuck, and I've been serving our nation loyally ever since. I've been posted to hellholes like Brasilistan, Marche Noir, and Maxtopia for every one of my 16 tours of duty. And then I see some champagne-sipping flunky waltz on in to become the ambassador, despite having never worked a day in their life. Do I sound bitter? That's probably because I have every right to!"

Effect: The typical ambassador from @@NAME@@ fought through a baptism of fire in order to get there.

3. @@RANDOMNAME@@, the sole survivor of the infamous Embassy Bombing in Marche Noir, limps into your office with a cane. "It's war out there, @@LEADER@@," @@HE@@ rasps in a broken voice. "The things I've seen, the horrible things I've had to do, the countless nights I've spent awake working on that free-trade agreement have left me a broken @@MAN@@." @@HE@@ pulls out a locket containing a small picture of his beloved and a lock of @@HIS@@ hair, and gazes at it. "I lost my @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ in the line of duty, valiantly fighting a rear-guard action against the tide of paperwork. Bring us home, @@LEADER@@, shutter our embassies abroad and bring us all home."

Effect: The internet is full of heartwarming videos featuring long-time diplomats reuniting with their families and pets.

4. "I spy an opportunity..." says your seldom-seen Minister of Whispers, who has somehow appeared besides you. "What our nation needs is for our ambassadors to be trained and equipped for- specialized operations - in foreign nations. Imagine our most elite black-ops agents, striking under cover of darkness to promote my- I mean, your- goals. Think about it. I know you'll make the right choice."

Effect: @@NATION@@'s ambassadors all have steel-gray eyes and an empty soul.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Very solid first draft. Will try to come back to this in more detail later, but I like the premise, and this is a broadly competent execution.

[Laeral]

Very solid first draft. Will try to come back to this in more detail later, but I like the premise, and this is a broadly competent execution.

I'm glad to hear that. If this is accepted, it'll be my second issue.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary

Spelt plenipotentiary.

Not super-keen on the title however, as it doesn't seem to refer to the actual issue at hand and isn't witty. Not got a suggestion for you though, sorry.

The Issue
It has recently been discovered that your remarkably incompetent predecessor had filled numerous ambassadorial positions with under-qualified candidates in an attempt to reward @@HIS@@ followers and supporters. As a result, the ambassador to Wezeltonia is your predecessor's personal hairdresser, the ambassador to Brancaland is a shady crime lord with incriminating evidence against your predecessor, and the ambassador to Brancaland is the mysterious @@MAN@@ in Red who featured prominently in a sex scandal involving your predecessor. It's clear to many that @@NAME@@ could use a change in the ranks of its diplomats.

First thought is that it is funny buy long. Also, you got Brancaland twice there. I'd suggest trimming it down to just the first two ambassadors, and looking to bring the whole thing to 2/3 it's current length.

Re: player autonomy, I think it is just about okay to assign traits and history to a predecessor, though we're skirting the line a little. Looks like precedent exists in 134 and 386. So I think we can run with the slight edge-case over-riding of autonomy, but the quality of writing needs to be strong enough to make the case for inclusion of the issue more solid.

Validity: Nation has international relations.

1. "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first MP to endorse your candidacy, the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ tycoon who donated millions to your campaign, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friend is living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense.

Nice, though I'd probably pluralise it to "childhood friends are". Also, effect lines should start with a non-capitalised letter (unless proper noun), and end without punctuation. This is because nation front pages use multiple effect lines to build one sentence.

I'd note that this option is written as if the nation is capitalist and democratic. Can we wind back the assumptions a little to just ONE of those, and then make a doppelganger option for nations that don't meet that validity check?

2. "We need to abolish the entire system of ambassadors as political appointees." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has worked in the Foreign Ministry for the past three decades.

Quote mark enclosed sentences that don't end the greater sentence shouldn't end in a period / full stop. Make it a comma.

"I joined the Foreign Service as soon as I graduated college as the Assistant Deputy Undersecretary of Public Relations at our embassy to East Lebatuck, and I've been serving our nation loyally ever since. I've been posted to hellholes like Brasilistan, Marche Noir, and Maxtopia for every one of my 16 tours of duty. And then I see some champagne-sipping flunky waltz on in to become the ambassador, despite having never worked a day in their life. Do I sound bitter? That's probably because I have every right to!"

He goes on a bit. Take the best bits, and compress this by 1-2 lines please.

Effect: The typical ambassador from @@NAME@@ fought through a baptism of fire in order to get there.

Not as good as the first line, this one. Doesn't really add any information or humour to what the option told us. Maybe...:

effect: the elderly ambassadors of @@NAME@@ sometimes work as many as four whole years before retiring

...along with the option insisting that "every ambassador should have a comparable level of diplomatic corps experience as me before they are considered for appointment."

3. @@RANDOMNAME@@, the sole survivor of the infamous Embassy Bombing in Marche Noir, limps into your office with a cane. "It's war out there, @@LEADER@@," @@HE@@ rasps in a broken voice. "The things I've seen, the horrible things I've had to do, the countless nights I've spent awake working on that free-trade agreement have left me a broken @@MAN@@." @@HE@@ pulls out a locket containing a small picture of his beloved and a lock of @@HIS@@ hair, and gazes at it. "I lost my @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ in the line of duty, valiantly fighting a rear-guard action against the tide of paperwork.

Lost your "randomfirstname"? Are we looking for a euphemism for penis, because that is really not going to work with many of the names in the database. Maybe make up your own funny euphemism instead.

Bring us home, @@LEADER@@, shutter our embassies abroad and bring us all home."

Damn, that could be a hard one to implement, in simulation. Hmm. Let it be, but expect editing on that one.

Effect: The internet is full of heartwarming videos featuring long-time diplomats reuniting with their families and pets.

A bit too long, and assumes the internet, which is banned in many nations. Can you try something shorter and snappier? And possibly something more cynical as well? It's a bit too happy for NS.

4. "I spy an opportunity..." says your seldom-seen Minister of Whispers, who has somehow appeared besides you. "What our nation needs is for our ambassadors to be trained and equipped for- specialized operations - in foreign nations. Imagine our most elite black-ops agents, striking under cover of darkness to promote my- I mean, your- goals. Think about it. I know you'll make the right choice."

Effect: @@NATION@@'s ambassadors all have steel-gray eyes and an empty soul.

Lovely. Not sure about pluralisation consistency there. I'm sure we'll work it out though.

[Laeral]

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary

Spelt plenipotentiary.

This is also a pun. The word 'impotent', meaning 'non-powerful' in this case, is placed into the word 'plenipotentiary'.

First thought is that it is funny buy long. Also, you got Brancaland twice there. I'd suggest trimming it down to just the first two ambassadors, and looking to bring the whole thing to 2/3 it's current length.

Re: player autonomy, I think it is just about okay to assign traits and history to a predecessor, though we're skirting the line a little. Looks like precedent exists in 134 and 386. So I think we can run with the slight edge-case over-riding of autonomy, but the quality of writing needs to be strong enough to make the case for inclusion of the issue more solid.

I'll revise it somewhat. I'm thinking of taking out the '@@MAN@@ in Red' part, unless someone thinks this part deserves to stay in.

Nice, though I'd probably pluralise it to "childhood friends are". Also, effect lines should start with a non-capitalised letter (unless proper noun), and end without punctuation. This is because nation front pages use multiple effect lines to build one sentence.

I'd note that this option is written as if the nation is capitalist and democratic. Can we wind back the assumptions a little to just ONE of those, and then make a doppelganger option for nations that don't meet that validity check?

I'll make the revisions.

He goes on a bit. Take the best bits, and compress this by 1-2 lines please.

Will do.

Lost your "randomfirstname"? Are we looking for a euphemism for penis, because that is really not going to work with many of the names in the database. Maybe make up your own funny euphemism instead.

The section is intended to show that the love of this person's life was killed in the line of duty. Nothing about genitalia here.

A bit too long, and assumes the internet, which is banned in many nations. Can you try something shorter and snappier? And possibly something more cynical as well? It's a bit too happy for NS.

I personally was trying to add humor by making it reminiscent of the videos we see of veterans returning home to be embraced by their kids/pet dog.

[Australian rePublic]

Hello. Not a bad little issue you got here. Option 3, usually the embassy is considered the sovereign territory of the nation it represents (this is an over simplification of coarse) so if there was a war, the embassy would not be involved. For example, if in the Israel Palestine war, either side were to attack the USA's embassy, as that embassy is sort-of-kind-of the USA's sovereign territory, then the USA would consider that an act of war

[Laeral]

Hello. Not a bad little issue you got here. Option 3, usually the embassy is considered the sovereign territory of the nation it represents (this is an over simplification of coarse) so if there was a war, the embassy would not be involved. For example, if in the Israel Palestine war, either side were to attack the USA's embassy, as that embassy is sort-of-kind-of the USA's sovereign territory, then the USA would consider that an act of war

The person in Option 3 was injured in an infamous terrorist attack upon an embassy, not during a war fought on its grounds. Embassies have been attacked before- think Benghazi or the attack on US embassies in Nairobi and Dar es Salaam in 1998.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

This is also a pun. The word 'impotent', meaning 'non-powerful' in this case, is placed into the word 'plenipotentiary'.

It may be a pun, but it looks like a spelling error.

Can you emphasise it somehow, for example Ambassador Plen-IMPOTENT-iary?

[Laeral]

Bump.

[Jutsa]

Ok, I decided to take a more in-depth look at your draft.

Before the boxes, I should mention that effect lines aren't codes as sentences.
they instead should look like this

Option 1(a/b):
I see your options 1a and 1b are for democratic/capitalist and non-democratic/communist nations... but, here's a question:
What if your nation is democratic/communist or non-democratic/capitalist?

Honestly, I think just having privatized vs. state-run (or, as you put, capitalist/communist) will do fine.

Option 2:

Effect: Most ambassadors from @@NAME@@ retires only a few years after being appointed

retire*

Option 3:

Bring us home, @@LEADER@@, shutter our embassies abroad and bring us all home."

a ; or a - after @@LEADER@@. :3

Also, the second @@RANDOMNAME@@ - I recommend removing that.
The game might think he had a boyfriend or she had a girlfriend, which doesn't really work for nations that have banned homosexuality.

That's all I've got for now. Good luck.

[Laeral]

Thanks for the feedback. I'll make some changes.

[Laeral]

3rd draft posted!

[New Mushroom Kingdom]

Option 1a presumes a democratic system but isn't constrained to one. For an example, the sentence ' that first MP to endorse your candidacy, the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ tycoon who donated millions to your campaign' has absolutely no meaning in an autocratic nation without any form of elections.

[Jutsa]

Ah, good point...

Well, option 1A could be democratic AND private-industry, while 1B can be non-democratic OR state-run.

[Laeral]

Edits made to the validity of options 1a and 1b.

[New Mushroom Kingdom]

Edits made to the validity of options 1a and 1b.

You apparently didn't notice the exact same problem with option 1b...' first Party Secretary to endorse your candidacy'

[Laeral]

I feel that the term 'Party secretary' could apply to both communist nations or non-democratic ones (which are presumably one-party states). I would be willing to replace it if there was a term I could think of which would be better. Any suggestions?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I think the problem word here is "candidacy" as this implies democracy.

With doppelganger options, try to keep the binary based on one policy not two.

Non-capitalism / Capitalism is one such divide. Democracy / Non-democracy is another. Note that communism is assumed to be synonymous with non-capitalism, 99% of the time.

[Laeral]

I think the problem word here is "candidacy" as this implies democracy.

With doppelganger options, try to keep the binary based on one policy not two.

Non-capitalism / Capitalism is one such divide. Democracy / Non-democracy is another. Note that communism is assumed to be synonymous with non-capitalism, 99% of the time.

In that case, would you suggest that I create two more options, bringing the total to four variations of option 1, or make it a democratic/authoritarian or private/state-owned business option?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I think the problem word here is "candidacy" as this implies democracy.

With doppelganger options, try to keep the binary based on one policy not two.

Non-capitalism / Capitalism is one such divide. Democracy / Non-democracy is another. Note that communism is assumed to be synonymous with non-capitalism, 99% of the time.

In that case, would you suggest that I create two more options, bringing the total to four variations of option 1, or make it a democratic/authoritarian or private/state-owned business option?

The latter. Four options to cover 2x2 combinations would generally be considered to be an inelegant approach.

[Laeral]

In that case, would you suggest that I create two more options, bringing the total to four variations of option 1, or make it a democratic/authoritarian or private/state-owned business option?

The latter. Four options to cover 2x2 combinations would generally be considered to be an inelegant approach.

In that case, which option would you suggest- democracy/authoritarian options, or capitalist/communist options? I'm honestly not sure which one to proceed with.

[Laeral]

I've made a minor edit to option 1. I'm hoping that 'first government official to endorse you' is vague enough to fit both democracies and dictatorships. In any case, I'll plan to submit this in a day or two.