The Maiden's Record {OOC|SemiCLOSED|Sci-Fantasy RP}

[Faal Lot Himdah]

Character App
Name: Hania Seren, prefers to be called simply Seren

Accepted

Character App
Name: Jeremy Lindall

Character App
Name: DAGDA

Accepted

Character App
Name: Berkton Kaz'arakh Tusia (Alias is "Kas")
Bio:
Though we may never actually know what his backstory is, since the one I just told you is from a local tavern's drunkard's perspective.
Crew Position: Chief Navigator, available to be a planetary scout

Three things. One, this is important, I want to know the true backstory for the character, no surprises. Two, less important, the Celestial Maiden is not the sort of ship that would have a Chief Navigator or planetary scout, it isn't a military vessel nor a large commercial/pirate vessel. And three, is he wearing armour in the appearance, specifically a sort of helmet or mask?

[Darksworth]

Three things. One, this is important, I want to know the true backstory for the character, no surprises. Two, less important, the Celestial Maiden is not the sort of ship that would have a Chief Navigator or planetary scout, it isn't a military vessel nor a large commercial/pirate vessel. And three, is he wearing armour in the appearance, specifically a sort of helmet or mask?

Welp, time to do some QnA then

1. Yes, that is the true backstory of Kas, I just like to add some tidbits of how notorious he is. (eg. drunkards discussing his story and stuff like that)

2. Well, shouldn't every spaceship have a Chief Navigator? The ship's pathfinding AI might malfunction or some extensive mathematical conjecture about ship trajectory might be needed to be solved! Just think of this Prauxian as a back-up driver when things go south in terms of navigation. Because no matter how big or what kind of ship you have, getting lost in space is not a fun thought. Also, the Planetary Scout expertise is for the times when the crew is going in a mission blind. Maybe some shady weapons dealer is asking you to deal some weapons with him on some faraway planet in the edge of a galaxy. And you may wanna do some some planetary check-ups before going in.

3. He isn't really wearing any armor besides that mask. He only puts on the mask when a mission would require him to do some physical and social interactions. Otherwise, he just covers almost the entirety of his facial features with a headscarf, leaving only the eyes and the nose bridge exposed.

Sorry if I confused you in anyway with my app, its been a long time since I stretched my writer's side ;P

[Faal Lot Himdah]

Three things. One, this is important, I want to know the true backstory for the character, no surprises. Two, less important, the Celestial Maiden is not the sort of ship that would have a Chief Navigator or planetary scout, it isn't a military vessel nor a large commercial/pirate vessel. And three, is he wearing armour in the appearance, specifically a sort of helmet or mask?

Welp, time to do some QnA then

1. Yes, that is the true backstory of Kas, I just like to add some tidbits of how notorious he is. (eg. drunkards discussing his story and stuff like that)

2. Well, shouldn't every spaceship have a Chief Navigator? The ship's pathfinding AI might malfunction or some extensive mathematical conjecture about ship trajectory might be needed to be solved! Just think of this Prauxian as a back-up driver when things go south in terms of navigation. Because no matter how big or what kind of ship you have, getting lost in space is not a fun thought. Also, the Planetary Scout expertise is for the times when the crew is going in a mission blind. Maybe some shady weapons dealer is asking you to deal some weapons with him on some faraway planet in the edge of a galaxy. And you may wanna do some some planetary check-ups before going in.

3. He isn't really wearing any armor besides that mask. He only puts on the mask when a mission would require him to do some physical and social interactions. Otherwise, he just covers almost the entirety of his facial features with a headscarf, leaving only the eyes and the nose bridge exposed.

Sorry if I confused you in anyway with my app, its been a long time since I stretched my writer's side ;P

1. Okay

2. There are many things in place to prevent them from getting lost in space, as this ship is not some simple Terran ship. It was constructed by the most advanced race, a race that has been around longer than most of the other races. As such, do you really think they would have ships that can get lost in space? No, Elyzian ships always have things in place to prevent that from happening. Not to mention that the Celestial Maiden does not have a ship AI (AI aren't needed for calculations and such), but there is an Android that can connect to the ship in emergencies. They also have a skilled Captain, and a cyborg who can easily fix most problems that the ships systems may have. So, getting lost in space is no issue. As for going in blind, the ship would have a large data base on planets, and Ryker has many connections so there is not much he can't figure out after a few calls.

3. Alright

[Darksworth]

1. Okay

2. There are many things in place to prevent them from getting lost in space, as this ship is not some simple Terran ship. It was constructed by the most advanced race, a race that has been around longer than most of the other races. As such, do you really think they would have ships that can get lost in space? No, Elyzian ships always have things in place to prevent that from happening. Not to mention that the Celestial Maiden does not have a ship AI (AI aren't needed for calculations and such), but there is an Android that can connect to the ship in emergencies. They also have a skilled Captain, and a cyborg who can easily fix most problems that the ships systems may have. So, getting lost in space is no issue. As for going in blind, the ship would have a large data base on planets, and Ryker has many connections so there is not much he can't figure out after a few calls.

3. Alright

Dang, the Celestial Maiden is packin'! Props to the Elyzians. Ah well, my part of the talk here is moot. I am willing to change jobs to whichever you prefer. Hmm, what about a negotiator, arbitrator or a security detail?

[Faal Lot Himdah]

1. Okay

2. There are many things in place to prevent them from getting lost in space, as this ship is not some simple Terran ship. It was constructed by the most advanced race, a race that has been around longer than most of the other races. As such, do you really think they would have ships that can get lost in space? No, Elyzian ships always have things in place to prevent that from happening. Not to mention that the Celestial Maiden does not have a ship AI (AI aren't needed for calculations and such), but there is an Android that can connect to the ship in emergencies. They also have a skilled Captain, and a cyborg who can easily fix most problems that the ships systems may have. So, getting lost in space is no issue. As for going in blind, the ship would have a large data base on planets, and Ryker has many connections so there is not much he can't figure out after a few calls.

3. Alright

Dang, the Celestial Maiden is packin'! Props to the Elyzians. Ah well, my part of the talk here is moot. I am willing to change jobs to whichever you prefer. Hmm, what about a negotiatoror arbitrator or a security detail?

Negotiations are done by Ryker, as he is the captain

They don't need to have a specialized role, as if everyone had a specialized role, then there wouldn't be enough spots for everyone.

[Darksworth]

Ooh, I see. Very well, I'll be listing myself as an "unspecified combat role" then. Am I accepted?

[Danceria]

Tag.

Would the Doctor like an assistant?

[Faal Lot Himdah]

Ooh, I see. Very well, I'll be listing myself as an "unspecified combat role" then. Am I accepted?

You can put security, but if you're going unspecific, just say something like what is with Lorcan, just something general

[Charlia]

Tag.

Would the Doctor like an assistant?

An assistant might be useful. I'll want to see what you've got before making any final decisions.

[Danceria]

Tag.

Would the Doctor like an assistant?

An assistant might be useful. I'll want to see what you've got before making any final decisions.

Human-ish, I assume. Or would you be find with a Hes'i?

[Charlia]

An assistant might be useful. I'll want to see what you've got before making any final decisions.

Human-ish, I assume. Or would you be find with a Hes'i?

...

That would be really, really weird. But, um, I guess?

[Danceria]

Human-ish, I assume. Or would you be find with a Hes'i?

...

That would be really, really weird. But, um, I guess?

My excuse being if a species knows how to utterly RAID away all life on a planet, and are god tier genetic engineers, they'd know biology down to a t.

I am also trying to shy away from unnecessary romantic drama, but if you want shipping on this boat, I'm happy to oblige.

[Charlia]

...

That would be really, really weird. But, um, I guess?

My excuse being if a species knows how to utterly RAID away all life on a planet, and are god tier genetic engineers, they'd know biology down to a t.

I am also trying to shy away from unnecessary romantic drama, but if you want shipping on this boat, I'm happy to oblige.

Not seeking romance, thanks. Last time I had an assistant crushing on a doctor, it ended in murder.

I'm mostly just weirded out because... well, bug people. It's an inherently weird concept.

[Charlia]

Oh yeah. Something kind of funny--if you open the video for Charlotte's theme song, and watch to about seventeen seconds(ah, my favorite number), there's an amusing coincidence...

[Darksworth]

You can put security, but if you're going unspecific, just say something like what is with Lorcan, just something general

Done! I hope it is accepted. ;P

[The Valhalla Vagrant]

Will app tonight. Thinking of some kind of underdog Terran beggar turned street urchin pickpocket turned relatively skilled thief turned proficient smuggler story.

[Vulnier]

Character App
Name: A13X "Alex"
Age: 23
Race: Robotic, built by Terrans
Sex: Inorganic, voice sounds male
Sexual Orientation: N/A
Bio: Unit A13X was an experimental Guardian Class combat robot built by WDS in the year 2498, testing an experimental power core meant to increase the models efficiency. During initial testing, an accidental explosion caused extreme damage to the unit, both internal and external. After being repaired, though, it began to act up, moving erratically, not responding to orders, and overloading the core. Eventually, as these problems persisted, WDS gave up on its experiment, putting the Unit in storage for later disassembly.

With A13X in tow, many Gaurdian units were sold and stationed to an isolated colony planet, named Palex, in 2499 for its colonial defense force. During its 11 years of relatively peacful deployment, A13X, now nicknamed 'Alex', had then again began to act up, and even disappear unaccounted for. While it would have been a problem, the unit did appear when it was need most, even applying aid to those wounded.

Through manipulation and bribes, a dictator had found a way to lead the colony, quickly putting the command of the robots under his control and ending the peace. For seven years, the dictator ruled with an iron fist with cruelty and bloodshed, usually carried out by the robots, until he was eventually overthrown. The robots, now a hated symbol, were either sold or destroyed.

Alex was one of the few that were sold, being bought by a captain for ship security. And for the next 4 years, this trend would continue until, recently, being bought by the captian of the Celestial Madien.

Appearance:

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Weapon(s): Though he dislikes to use them, he has a semi-automatic rifle as well as a powerful revolver and combat knife. His body can also be considered a weapon, due to its strength and ability to take a lot of damage.
Abilities: Due to his programming as a combat robot, A13X is quite skilled in hand to hand combat, marksmanship, and can quickly adapt to many situations. Though odd, Alex has some medical knowladge from his time on Palex. While not doctor level, it is still quite a handy in emergencies situations. Though he only has one ability, it can be used to surprise those who dont expect it.

Overdrive- This ability allows Alex to use the experimental power source to its full potential, giving him a boost in speed and processing power to aid him in combat. But when used for too long, Alex runs the risk of damaging his power source permanently. May have a total shutdown for a time.
Crew Position: Combat Medic

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RP Sample: Am I good on this one?
Did you read the Rules? Aye

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Optional Stuff:

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Personality: Like a machine, Alex is quiet, does its job, takes orders well, and even still talks like a machine. Though he tries to hide it, Alex is a kind individual, willing to help anyone in any way he can and prefers to avoid conflict if it can be done. He also seems to be polite, though whether this is because of programming or his own free will, is unknown.
Likes: Reading, learning, helping out others, and quiet places.
Dislikes: Unnecessary violence, those who seek violence, corruption, and slavery.

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Alignment: True Good
Theme Song: Maybe later...

[The Valhalla Vagrant]

Character App
Name: Johnathan S. Reyes
Age: 28
Race: Terran
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Bio: Johnathan, as simply put as it can possibly be, is the unfortunate victim of his parents' dream.

Johnathan Reyes, son of Emmanuel Reyes and his wife Sandra. Johnathan's father, since his very youngest years, had the ambition of becoming a business professional - as strange a dream as that is for a young boy, it is understandable, given context. All around the Terran youth, there were indications of the influence of the mega-corporations, the good that they did for humanity, the pioneering role they were taking in expanding man's reach and influence in the galaxy, and the happiness of their employees and founders, of course. They were running an excellent propaganda campaign, all of them, into fooling some of the next generation into acknowledging the divinity status of the heroic corporations representing mankind.

Johnathan's father was one of them, but he had a different vision. He wanted to be the founder of his own galactic-scale corporation, to emerge alongside the existing five as the sixth bastion of wealth, integrity, and progress. Emmanuel Reyes was a remarkably intelligent man, who was able to graduate with credits and internships from the biggest and best business institutions on Earth - universities in New York City, Beijing, London.

With credentials such as his, it was typically expected for someone to accept a prestigious position in one of the five corporations and be content with their lot in life, continuing to climb the ladder for the rest of their days while enjoying their work for one of the premier employers in the galaxy. Emmanuel Reyes stayed stubbornly true to his original vision, and wished to become an entrepreneur, and soon founded his own business.

Johnathan never knew what this business did, or cared, really. It was, after all, what he put most of the blame on for his current lot in life.

What he did know was this - father was successful. This small business grew, over the next seven years, into a thriving bit of investment opportunity. Wealthy Terrans everywhere began to place more and more stock into Reyes, which was by many seen as a safer and more stable option than one of the five corporations who could conceivably go to war at any second.

This upset the powers-that-be greatly. Soon, break-ins were common. The occasional electrical fire broke out, at least once a month, in locations owned by the Reyes corporation. Vandalism was a day-to-day operation. Soon enough, Emmanuel decided that it was time to go to the Terran Authority and demand an investigation of these absurd attacks, and a further investigation into the corporations that were almost blatantly affiliated.

While their now 13 year old son was at school one day, the Reyes couple were killed in a highly unfortunate shuttle accident en route to the Terran Authority. Some strange law was evoked that stated without a will, the inheritance did not become that of the orphan son's, and became property of the state. And now, the orphaned boy was sent to live with others.

This type of life didn't sit well with Johnathan for long. Anger, disgust, and a general dislike of the absurd corruption and unfairness of the corporations and the Terran Authority itself inspired him to bolt from the orphanage, for some strange reason, in search of becoming a hero to expose the deepest dirt on the politicians and businessmen, brothers in arms.

The crusade didn't last long, and never really got off the ground. Johnathan became a street rat, a beggar, the lowest of the low. And truthfully? He embraced it.

From white-collar prodigy child to tough-luck, tough-life street kid. He learned how to keep fighting to survive, winter came and he had to deal with it, he went hungry sometimes, saved what food he managed to get, carefully managed the meager change he was able to collect, all while in the shadow of high rises and watching shuttles scoot about overhead. Eventually, the honest beggar's life simply wasn't enough. Johnathan recognized the need for a bit of petty thievery here and there, a picked pocket or two just to get by, only what he needed, of course! And so that was how his life carried on.

Roughing it on the streets of Earth soon lost its luster. He began to hang around busy space ports, hoping that some run-down little vessel would enter and be in search of work. He never found that - rather, he was once upon a time introduced to a slick piece of highly advanced alien technology, in need of someone who could keep their mouth shut properly, and had a knowledge of a few proper criminal workings or two. He was certainly a man for the job, if not the best candidate.
Appearance:

(Or describe their appearance)

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Weapon(s): - Two Terran handguns, one being an average ballistic model and the other being of a higher-end plasma make, neither legally obtained.
Abilities: Slick Talker: The everyman's champion, he seems to have an excellent knack for interacting with the lowlifes of society and the less fortunate. Thanks to a portion of his upbringing he's also accustomed to the basics of how to properly butter-up a white collar executive or two, and really, just about anyone, for his personal gain most typically.

Hand Gun Proficiency: A bit over a decade of street life necessitated Johnathan to learn to defend himself cheaply and without being slowed. Handguns fit the bill for these purposes, and he prefers them over most anything in any situation, so long as they remain practical.

Proficient Thief: Picked pockets, broken locks, and even an understanding of how to push through more advanced security systems were all skills Johnathan has picked up over the years. Naturally, he is light on his feet and quite difficult to detect if he doesn't wish to be.

Grit: While he hasn't received much proper training in that area, fighting up-close is something he is comfortable with. As little honor as possible, as dirty as possible, is the way he prefers it. He will fight most anyone tooth and nail, until one of them is unconscious.
Crew Position: General combat, smart-aleck quips, and appreciating the finer points of the criminal undertaking

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RP Sample: Soon. I have very little to go off of, so I'm assuming you'll prefer me to write something from the perspective of the character.
Did you read the Rules? Certainly so.

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Optional Stuff:

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Personality:
Likes:
Dislikes:

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Alignment:
Theme Song:

I have completed all required fields save for the sample, see my comments on that and get back to me, and I'll be more than happy to comply with whatever you wish glorious leader.

[Faal Lot Himdah]

I have completed all required fields save for the sample, see my comments on that and get back to me, and I'll be more than happy to comply with whatever you wish glorious leader.

No you haven't. No RP sample + don't know you = instant deny.

And of we look more into the app....

Character App
Name: Johnathan S. Reyes
Weapon(s): - Two Terran handguns, one being an average ballistic model and the other being of a higher-end plasma make, neither legally obtained.
Crew Position: General combat, smart-aleck quips, and appreciating the finer points of the criminal undertaking

Denied on the base of weapons since you likely didn't read the lore that closely, as I state that Terrans use kinetic based weaponry, and by extension that would mean that Terrans are unable to make plasma weaponry.

And now for crew position, smart aleck quips and appreciating the finer points of the criminal undertaking are not positions on a ship, they are personality traits.

Character App
Name: Berkton Kaz'arakh Tusia (Alias is "Kas")

Accepted, but there is a minor thing, Praux is the name of the race and nationality, so he isn't a Prauxian, he is Praux. It's like with my nation, there is no Faal Lot Himdahians, or Diistaakites, its just Diistaak.

[Danceria]

My excuse being if a species knows how to utterly RAID away all life on a planet, and are god tier genetic engineers, they'd know biology down to a t.

I am also trying to shy away from unnecessary romantic drama, but if you want shipping on this boat, I'm happy to oblige.

Not seeking romance, thanks. Last time I had an assistant crushing on a doctor, it ended in murder.

I'm mostly just weirded out because... well, bug people. It's an inherently weird concept.

Either another boring human, a cinnamon roll of a Saef' (that is most certainly going to die), or a weird dude who hunts but is also a doctor(?). Then there is a plant. A literal plant.

[Xeng He]

Going to remember this one.

[Free Empire of the Low Isles]

Going to remember this one.

Wow, can you see the future? It's remarkable that you're able to predict that!

[Free Empire of the Low Isles]

Character App
Name: Reverend 'Rev' Rackham, also known as 'Padre', 'Veteran', 'Old Man', and 'Ole Useless'.
Age: 54
Race: Terran
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual, though no longer actively practicing.
Bio: Some might want to ask why an extremely dangerous and, at one time, horridly famous pirate was named 'Reverend' of all things. Like, didn't he want anything a bit scary? When he started out as a space pirate, the name game was still pretty new. He could have gone with 'Bonecrusher', 'Marrow Sucker', 'Vaporizer', 'Spacer'... hell, even with fucking 'Blackbeard'. But no, they called him 'Rev' or 'Padre' like he was a God-forsaken preacher. Well, those 'some' can blame his fucking parents, who had higher hopes for their son when he was born. Though no one on God's Green Shitball would know why they would want their son to be the only priest in the entire church called 'the Venerable Reverend Reverend'. It probably wasn't their fault, though, just like it wasn't their fault little Rev would grow up to ravage and pillage the stars like the Jack Rackham of old did to the sea. No, it wasn't their fault that they had been forced to live their miserable lives on a little rock floating through the Kuiper Belt which the astronomers back on Earth didn't even care to give a name, let alone the fucking quintillionaire company that had hired them to mine the shit out of it. It wasn't their fault that another miserable little mining colony got hit by a big ass asteroid earlier in the week and went on to cause a massive fucking collision, Rube Goldberg style, with the little rock and killed almost everyone that little Rev ever knew, including his parents. It also left him and about five other people stranded on a smaller piece of paradise floating to God-knows-where until a smuggler ship picked him up and left the other five bodies there to freeze in the vacuum of space. After this, he went on to become a rather proficient smuggler until his ship, which he had scavenged and scoured enough money to buy for the past ten years, was set upon, boarded, and scuttled in space by the infamous, not-then-but-certainly-now-Pirate King Wallace Bartholomew. Ever the survivor, though, Rev thrived in his new environment of piracy, working his way up to first-mate on Bartholomew's ship and soon becoming fast friends with the man, the legend of Captain Wallace and First Mate Veteran making its way through the Terran underground.

That was until Wallace got it in his head to start trying for a spot on the Council at the exact same time that some very vocal and relatively powerful factions started hollering for Rev to get the spot. Some argument that Rev was actually the one running the money-making ops or something. Of course, this was without any, absolutely no influence by Rev himself. Wallace saw it differently, of course, and so by some underhanded, roguish, and pirate-y fashion... he somehow convinced Rev to exile himself to the farthest reaches of the Galaxy, sealing the enthronement of Pirate King Wallace Bartholomew and the figurative death of his First Mate Reverend Rackham forever. Eventually, Rev found himself drunk and in debt to several mobs and businesses on the planet of Piyria, so also desperately in need of a paying job. He found a lucky break with the most influential and powerful smuggler/black market dealer on the planet, the woman that would eventually reveal herself to be the previous lover of Captain Wallace Bartholomew and the mother of his (supposedly) only son, Ryker Arion. After dealing with several jobs for her and securing his place within her organization, as well as securing the idea that he was actually just a useless bum (From which the name Ole Useless and Old Man come) that she liked having around, his boss lady gave him a longer than average mission.

To protect Ryker.

Period.

Seeing as she promised a stipend for as long as the kid was alive and he probably wouldn't have to do that much work, Rev agreed. And that's how he became the Celestial Maiden's (Still think we should've named her the Star Whore) resident old man.
Appearance:

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Weapons: Rev holds various knives and daggers of differing sizes hidden throughout his clothing ensemble, two hold-out pistols hidden in his sleeve and his boot respectively, a high-powered revolver which is worn down from use that's kept on his hip, a real Elyzian plasma pistol residing in a hidden back holster that definitely has an interesting story behind its acquisition, and finally a one-handed blade that he 'appropriated' from a Yst that is most likely still very angry, residing comfortably in its makeshift scabbard on his back.
Abilities: First and foremost, Rev's a talker, meaning that while he may seem like a smarmy and uncultured smuggler from afar (And certainly is one up-close), he can still charm the pants off practically any girl or guy in the general area. Secondly, he's a Grade-A pistoleer, able to hit a moving target with his revolver at 400 yards and disintegrate an enemy with his plasma pistol in seconds. Thirdly, he's an amateur swordsman, having only picked up the art of fencing with his 'definitely-acquired-honorably' Yst sword later in life. Fourthly, he's pretty handy with a knife or dagger, still able to hit a target at fifty yards and whip the things out faster than a Myrian's dick at a zoo.
Crew Position: Resident Old Man

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RP Sample: Fuck me, daddy.
Did you read the Rules? I am illiterate.

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Optional Stuff:

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Personality: As you might be able to tell, Rev's certainly at the point in his life where he doesn't really give a shit what people think of him, though the argument can be made that he was never a person to care for that in the first place. He's also a sarcastic and slightly perverted old man that'll take any chance for a dirty joke he can get, no matter the audience. Even if it gets him kicked in the balls, much to his testes' regret. While he does still possess the ability to sober up and be serious, when it gets to the point that he considers it necessary to do that, you're already fucked beyond belief, trust me. As many people have learned in the past, it's probably just best not to interact with this old codger in anyway at all, if possible.
Likes: Rum, whiskey, wine, vodka, medicinal alcohol, opiates, hallucinogens, marijuana, any weird alien shit that'll give him a high and can be sold for extremely ludicrous amounts of money, Ryker, Ryker's mum (Hah!), guns, swords, Haesi (Heh, they're like teddy bears with exoskeletons and know how to kill like a motherfucker), Enchis (Little bastards are tough. And cute. And smart. Dangerous fuckers.), and basically anything that's dangerous.
Dislikes: Some William Wallace pirate fucker, Ryker's dad (Wait, that's the same person), sticks-in-the-mud, the Law, the Elyzians (Old twats that don't get a good joke), the Myrians (Fucking furries), the Yst (Damn demon pricks), Praux and Saef' (Different sides of the same shit stained coin), the Clyh (Green's my color, so their blood looks good on me), and Whisper.

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Alignment: Eh, fuck your mother.
Theme Song: Bourbon Street by Jeff Tuohy

[Faal Lot Himdah]

Character App
Name: Reverend 'Rev' Rackham, also known as 'Padre', 'Veteran', 'Old Man', and 'Ole Useless'.
Bio:
That was until the Council of Five was being created

That was an entertaining app to read.... but I can't accept it because of this one line in the bio. The Council of Five was created in 2324, the current year is 2543

[Charlia]

Not seeking romance, thanks. Last time I had an assistant crushing on a doctor, it ended in murder.

I'm mostly just weirded out because... well, bug people. It's an inherently weird concept.

Either another boring human, a cinnamon roll of a Saef' (that is most certainly going to die), or a weird dude who hunts but is also a doctor(?). Then there is a plant. A literal plant.

I don't like it when people kill cinnamon rolls. *looks at disapprovingly*