[Title]@@LEADER@@’s New Wheels
[Debate]After your official automobile broke down on the way to your office today, interested parties swarmed you on the side of the road while you tried to change a tire.
[Option] “A shame… A terrible terrible shame…” says transport museum curator @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Your old automobile was truly a wonder. A fine example of @@DEMONYM@@ craftsmanship. And to be swept away for what, some modern monstrosity? No, our culture and traditions should be preserved. In fact, I have something better than your old vehicle… An even older one, from one of your predecessors long past. And its still in perfect working conditions. All you need to supply are the horses to pull it.”
[Outcome] @@LEADER@@’s two horsepower carriage is setting new trends
[Option] “Eureka!” yells notedly obscure scientist Nicholas Telsa. “Science has the power to make everything better. I’ll design your car for you. I’m thinking a fission reactor, forcefield, flux capacitor, twin jet engines. The works. Just don’t forget about science the next time budget season comes around.”
[Outcome] People often complain of static shocks when they brush past @@LEADER@@’s new car
[Option] “Outta my way, egghead” shouts General @@Randomname@@, who thinks the military needs to present an option to every single issue @@nation@@ faces, no matter how small. “Now look, here I got the blueprints for the Landcruiser p.5000 super-heavy battletank. With just a few minor changes, it could be adapted for your use. Sure, an oversized piece of military hardware may not project a friendly image, but by Violet, you're not gonna find a safer land transport anywhere. Send more funding to the military, and we’ll work out the last few bugs in no time.”
[Outcome] @@LEADER@@ can’t drive over bridges
[Option] “Gah! How much more of my tax @@CURRENCY@@ are you going to spend? Don’t you ever think about the average, hard-working citizens like myself?” cries anti-tax advocate and noted captain of industry @@randomname@@, lighting a cigar from a burning banknote. “If you really need a new car, and since clearly you’re too much of a cheapskate to buy your own, hows about we cut a deal? I’ll provide you with a new car, free of charge, if I can put just a few little advertisements on it. No need to read the terms and conditions, just sign here, here and here.”
[Outcome] @@LEADER@@ drives a neon billboard
[Validity] Private industry exists
[Option] “We should take the funding you were going to put into a new car,” says Pat Starr, a transportation union leader, gesturing elaborately, “and push it somewhere else! Like the transport network. Maybe if you were forced to take the bus like the rest of us average joes, you’d be more in tune with our problems.”
[Outcome] Security is a nightmare for @@NATION@@’s police as @@LEADER@@ takes the bus
[Option] A mysterious black car screeches to a halt next to you, wafting a vague smell of wet dog. “@@LEADER@@, your people need you,” growls the elusive superhero, Dogman. “Join me, and together we’ll put a stop to the corruption afflicting @@NATION@@. Oh, and I suppose you can use the Dogmobile, too.”
[Outcome] @@LEADER@@ spends more time dressing in spandex than addressing issues.
[Validity]Superheros are legal
