We, the Victorious Decepticons - the giant transforming war robots who eliminated the Autobots and then went on to take over Earth and other planets - have decided to allow other nations to learn more about us.
As you likely know, we are the true Decepticons, the ones made (in)famous in the G1 Transformers and who invaded Earth after that planet refused to eradicate Michael Bay's hit piece, which we refer to simply as "The Movie." Of course, like any true imperialists, we've also taken over several worlds for the sake of expansionism, most of which have come to the same fate as Earth: their populations, or what is left of them, toil in our mines and do other such grunt work while we occupy our time raiding other worlds. We are aware that there are multiple Earths across the dimensions, but this does not bother us: Eventually, we will have total domination of the universe, and this will necessarily include all of those odd little parallel planets.
Despite our lofty long-term goal and the occasional taking of planets as trophies, we the people of Victorious Decepticons spend most of our time raiding oil from other worlds rather than taking them over completely. This practice has deep cultural roots, which started with the fact that Planet Cybertron, being a constructed world, has no natural resources of its own, so we had to get our stuff from somewhere. However, through the centuries, raiding and other piratical action has become well-loved and very much culturally ingrained - and so has a culture of general criminality! We truly embrace our Decepticonness and think other ways of life sound hideously weak, cowardly, boring, uncreative, and perhaps worst of all, unfun.
Notably, our government is very much NOT hypocritical, and the same is true of our people. To us, it makes no sense to have police because they'd be against our very ways of life - so, we don't have any, and suggesting that we get some is treason. We also had the plain horse sense to legalize everything that we like to do, and ban any attempts to "tame" our culture as treasonous.
That's enough for the quickie overview. Divine Leader Megatron and others have agreed to answer any questions that foreigners may have, except, of course, those that would require the release of classified information.
We now open the communications radios for your queries...
